Obscene riddles. Riddles from the magazine "Murzilka" Who is in the pouring rain

20.06.2020

Who doesn't wet their hair in the pouring rain? (Bold.)

Jumping dexterously and eating carrots? (The grandmother is on a diet.)

What cannot be eaten for breakfast? (Lunch and dinner.)

There is a plaque in the teeth, longing in the eyes. (The man fell into the village jolt.)

Will get up, reach the sky (Rainbow.)

A woman is standing on the floor, opening her hole. (Stove.)

Crawling downhill, running uphill. (Snot.)

About 40 million people do THIS at night. What it is? (Internet.)

Estimate !!! Scientists have come up with such a device with which you can go through walls ... And finally finally called it original ... (Door)

Earrings for simpletons. (Noodles.)

Stop log in case of emergency braking. (Pillar.)

What is: 90/60/90? (Speed with a traffic cop.)

What is it: flies and glitters? (Mosquito with a gold tooth.)

How good it is for you and me, I am under you, and you are on me. (The hedgehog carries an apple.)

What is: there is a head, there is no head, there is a head, there is no head? (Lame behind the fence.)

Does B love, B loves C? What to do A? (Find another B.)

Two rings, two ends ... (Very fancy New Russian.)

What is excited by Koch's wand? (1.tuberculosis; 2.Koch's wife.)

What is blue gold? (Beloved wife got drunk.)

Red, long, 21? (Tram.)

Two women at the fence: one glued, the other sewn ... What should be done with them? (Tear off the first, rip off the second.)

What is: hard is inserted into soft, and balls dangle nearby? (Earrings.)

One wheel of a thousand wings - what is it? (A wheelbarrow with manure.)

Not a rooster, but singing, not a grandfather, but a grandmother, who is this? (Philip Kirkorov.)

Which three-letter word is now most often written on the walls of toilets in schools and universities? (You yourself X # @! The correct answer is WWW!)

When is a person in a room without a head? (When he pokes her out of the window onto the street.)

With scales - but not a fish, with p # $ doy - but not a woman, with wings - but not a bird. (Scaly n # $ covered.)

How can you walk while sitting? (In the toilet - on the toilet.)

What question will no one ever answer "yes" to? (Sleeping on the question: "Are you sleeping?"

What does a woman have on her body, a Jew in her mind, is used in hockey and on a chessboard? (Combination.)

Does it dangle, stink and yell between your legs? (Motorbike.)

Comes out of the water, eight boobs, three n @ # dy (Eight-boob trip @ # dec.)

How many eggs can a woman hold in one hand? (Both.)

Wrinkled Titus amuses the whole village. (Lack of youth in the countryside.)

What is: two abdomens, four ears? (Cat's wedding.)

The goose barked all over Russia. (Swan.)

What is: are gold coins falling from a branch? (A common sight in the land of fools.)

Why do you go to bed when you want to sleep? (By floor.)

Small, yellow in the sky somersaults. (Found!!!)

Small, yellowish, picking in the ground. (The Vietnamese is looking for a mine.)

Water is everywhere, and law is in the middle. What it is? (The prosecutor bathes.)

When the goat is seven years old, what happens next? (Eighth will go)

What social group has critical days twice a year? (Students.)

What is: a little bald man running through the forest? (Hedgehog. Why bald? Escaped from Chernobyl.)

In autumn it nourishes, in winter it warms, in spring it cheers, in summer it cools. (Vodka.)

The hunter walked past the clock tower. He took out his gun and fired. Where did he go? (To the police.)

One hundred clothes and all without fasteners. (Bum.)

Who is: six wings, seven x # s? (Six-winged seven ...)

What is it: sitting on the ceiling, gnawing at a light bulb? (Ceiling lamp gnaw.)

You remember him a little, it will be hard like a potato. (Snowball.)

Now hanging, then standing, then cold, then hot. (Shower.)

With claws, not a bird, flies and swears. (Electrician.)

When a woman lifts her leg, what do you see? Five letters, starts with P, ends with A. (Heel.)

What is: walking on the wall and playing? (A fly with a player in its ears.)

What can be dumped from a naked secretary? (The naked boss.)

Why is it warm for women in stockings in winter and cold for men in jeans? (Because men have a heater x @ # y, and women have a dyed one.)

Two ends, two rings, and in the middle there are carnations. (Victim of a maniac.)

What do money and a coffin have in common? (Both are first hammered in and then lowered.)

What tree does the hare sit under when it rains? (Under wet.)

Ivashka stands on one leg. (Disabled person.)

What word always sounds wrong? (The word "is wrong".)

White, not sugar. Cold, not ice. (Dead body.)

Who is this - a little one, lives in the earth, begins on "U"? (Little worm.)

Four brothers stand under one roof. (Mafia.)

He does not bark, does not bite, but does not let him into the house. (The wife will not let the drunken husband in.)

What is: small, green, standing on the panel? (A prostitute from another planet.)

No windows, no doors, but a Jew sits inside? What is it? (Sarah is pregnant.)

What is: first white, then vzh-zhik, and red? (The neighbor's poodle is in the mixer.)

Red head - works deftly. (Woodpecker.)

What is: hanging on the wall and crying? (Climber.)

How many babies will fit in a double stroller? (And this, depending on how you chop ...)

What is: small, black, breaks against glass? (The baby is in the oven.)

Which wheel does not spin when turning right? (Spare.)

A hippo was flying across the sky, and a hunter with a gun ran after him on the ground. The hunter fired, and the hippo fell on him. Who is still alive? (Elephant because he flew out later.)

A little wrinkled, there is in every woman. (Zest.)

Small, yellowish, the door opens with itself. (Bruce Lee)

What is: green, bald and jumping? (Soldier at the disco.)

How do you know if there is a mouse in the refrigerator without opening it? (There must be a bicycle near the refrigerator.)

Who will get to the refrigerator faster - a mouse or an elephant? (Mouse. She will come by bike.)

Hangs on a rope, called "Z". (Zoya Kosmodemyanskaya.)

Hair on hair, body on body - a dark matter begins. (The eye closes.)

What is - small, white, flies and buzzes? On the letter B. (Fly. Why on B? Because the blonde.)

What is it - sitting in a tree, black and croaking? On the letter Sh. (Crow. Why on Sh? Because she pretended to be a hose.)

What is it: hanging on the wall and smelling? (Clock: the cuckoo died in it.)

How do day and night end? (With a soft sign.)

There is one in the sky, In the ground there is no, And the woman has two of them. (Letter B.)

How many programmers does it take to spin a light bulb? (None. This is a hardware problem, programmers don't solve it.)

Two men are on opposite sides of the earth. One walks on a tightrope over a cliff, and the other is given a blowjob by a 70-year-old woman. Both men have the same idea. Which? (Don't look down.)

Two turtles (male and female) stroll in love along the coast holding each other by the paws. After an hour, only the male comes back. Where is the female? (She stayed there - he forgot to turn her over.)

Hanging pear - you can't eat. (Someone else's pear. Option: Aunt Grunya hanged herself.)

Which fellow is dripping from the end in the morning? (Samovar. Option: Water tap.)

It consists of three letters, The "X" begins, When it stands, When it finishes, it bows. (Chorus.)

How is a person different from a steam locomotive? (The locomotive first whistles, then starts, and the man first starts, and then walks and whistles.)

How many blacks does it take to bury a man? (Five. Four carry the coffin, and the fifth is in front with a tape recorder.)

What is 100 x% s and one rope? (Barge Haulers on the Volga)

A multi-colored rocker hung over the river. (A sign of incipient madness.)

The very scarlet sugar, green velvet caftan. (Negative on color film, depicting the "new Russian".)

How is the first floor different from the ninth? (From the first floor you will fall: "Boo! - Aa!" And from the ninth "Aa! - Boo!"

Two backs, one head, six legs. What it is? (The man on the chair.)

Why do girls go red in Paris? (On the ground.)

What is Adam in the front and Eve in the back? (The letter a".)

Crawling, crawling - the tree will eat. Crawling again, crawling - he will eat the tree. What it is? (Stonefoot. He eats trees.)

Crawling, crawling - he will eat the stone. Crawling again, crawling - he will eat the stone. What it is? (Stonefoot.)

Black - on one leg? (Single-legged black.)

Pet, the "s" begins. (There’s one cockroach.)

Pet, on the "d" begins. (Two cockroaches.)

Pet, on "t" starts. (Cockroach.)

The black dog does not bark, does not bite, and does not let him into the house. (A dead black dog blocking the entrance to the house.)

What is: Black, square, hairy on the bedside table? (TV [n $% doy covered up].)

How is a horse different from a needle? (You will first sit on a needle, then you will jump, and first you will jump on a horse, then you will sit down.)

The more there are, the less weight. What is it? (Holes.)

What is it: sitting on the window, speaking French? (Frenchman.)

A small, yellowish under the bed lies, on the "Z" begins. (Kopeck. Why "Z"? Rolled up)

A small, gray one looks like an elephant (baby elephant)

Lies on his back - no one needs it. Lean against the wall - it will come in handy. (Ladder)

Which country is the most armed? (Israel, there everyone walks with sawn-off trimmings)

If not for grandmother's shaggy women, grandfather's beaters would have been freezing. (Mittens)

The thunder is thundering, the bushes are shaking, what are they doing there? (The bear eats raspberries)

Comes out of the water, eight boobs, three p ... dy (Eight boobs trip ... dec)

Smelly, red, dangerous for girls. (Motorcycle "Java"

Black - on four legs? (The one-legged black man at the piano.)

Black - on three legs? (Piano.)

Black - on two legs? (Two one-legged negroes.)

What is it - the color of lilac, sees back as well as forward, and jumps above the bell tower? (White blind horse, because lilacs are white, and the bell tower does not jump at all)

Why are you looking at me, take off your clothes, I'm yours. (Bed or hanger)

What is: the eyes are afraid - the hands are doing. (Phone sex)

What is the difference between a teacher and a pedophile? (Pedophile really loves children)

Stop log in case of emergency braking. (Post)

There is a cow - the hole is ready, the bull comes into the hole - pumpkin. (Lock and key)

Where does the snow woman come from? (From ZIMBABwe)

Not a horseradish, not a carrot - a red head. (Pioneer in a garrison cap)

Dangling between the legs on the "X" is called. (Trunk or tail)

A boy and a girl in the grass were doing something on the "E". (Ate strawberries)

How to put a giraffe in the refrigerator? (Open the refrigerator, put a giraffe in there, close the refrigerator)

Which plant knows everything? (Horseradish)

What woman first rubs beside you and then demands money? (The conductor in the tram)

Green, spotted, jumps. (Paratrooper)

What is it: is it written in black and white? (Toilet bowl who has ebb)

What is black-white, black-white, black-white? (The nun rolls down the mountain head over heels)

Does not bark, does not bite, and is also called. (@)

All piz..a, no one riding. (The trolleybus fell off the bridge)

All piz..a, but one ride. (Husband on a business trip)

All riding, but one piz..a. (Husband got hit by a trolley bus)

Hanging pear - you can't eat. Why? (Boxers can stuff their faces)

What is it: power lies, but water runs? (An enema is given to a deputy)

What is it: in white lace, mooing and crawling on the ground? (Got drunk bride)

What is it: with eyes - but does not see, with a beak - but does not bite, with wings - and does not fly? (Dead crow)

What is: black on the outside, yellow on the inside? (Ninja Chicken)

What has a head but no brains? (Cheese, onion, garlic)

One eye, one horn, but not a rhino? (A cow peeps around the corner)

Which word starts with three letters "G" and ends with three letters "I"? (Trigonometry)

What is it: small, gray in color and weighs 3 kilograms? (A mouse that has weight problems)
You need to cross a wide river that is teeming with crocodiles. How do you do it? (Swim. After all, crocodiles are all at the meeting with the lion)

The lion called all the animals to a meeting. All but one appeared. What is this beast? (It's an elephant. It's in the refrigerator, remember?)

How to put an elephant in the refrigerator? (Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in there, close the refrigerator)

Who is: Are red heels sticking out of the bed?

What is the last bug that comes to mind when it flies into the windshield of a moving car? (His ass)

What do Formula 1 and sex have in common? (Pit stop - tire change)

How is a woman's chest different from a toy railroad? (Nothing: both are made for children, and dads play with them)

The most harmful insect, the back is black, the belly is white, the legs are covered with manure. (Summer resident)

Why do women scratch their eyes in the morning? (Because they have no eggs)

The new name of the former American president's favorite musical instrument. (Sexphone)

Grain that has gone through fire, water and copper pipes. (Moonshine)

If all the women do the splits, what will happen? (The land of piz ... th will cover)

What is it: many heads, a long tail, burning eyes, small and dirty eggs? (Queue for eggs for 90 kopecks in the 80s of the twentieth century)

In a dark room, on a white sheet, two hours of pleasure. (Film show.)

We guys are daring, we climb into the cracks of the genitals. (Cockroaches.)

Winter, forest, everything is covered with snow. On a large icy stump lies a crushed limb. What is it? (Winter has come to the end.)

Hair, hair ... and sausage in the middle. (Corn.)

Above the knee, below the navel, the hole is such that a hand will fit. (Pocket)

Without arms, without legs on a woman gallop! (Rocker)

He left his grandfather, and left his grandmother ... (Sex.)

What is - of three letters, goes into one ear, and comes out of the other? (Scrap)

What should you do when you see a green man? (Cross the street)

The letter X is called, P. will see rising. (The trunk takes food.)

All around it is black, in the middle it is white. (Radish in the same place, only bitten.)

Black around, red in the middle. (Radish in the ass Negra.)

The hairy head flies deftly over the cheek. (Toothbrush.)

Cross-eyed, small, in a white fur coat, in felt boots? (Chukotka Santa Claus.)

What is green, if you press the button, red? (A frog in a blender.)

They buried the prostitute, wrote on the tombstone: "Now they will always be together." Who are they? (Legs.)

There-here-back: You and me are pleased. (Swing.)

He quietly approached from behind, stuck it in twice and went (Slippers.)

The top is black, the inside is red. As you put it in, it's so beautiful (Galoshes.)

What lengthens when picked up, passed between breasts, and shoved into a hole? (Safety belt)

What is it: enters dry, exits wet, gives warmth and joy? (Tea bag)

Mustache (c) aty, striped. (Mattress)

To stroke the front, you need to lick from the back. (Postage Stamp)

Two ends, two rings? (Gay wedding)

In autumn it nourishes, in winter it warms, in spring it cheers, in summer it cools. (Vodka)

Red head - works deftly. (Woodpecker)

What is - small, white blood sucks? (Tampon.)

Funny riddles

1. There is a plaque in the teeth, in the eyes of longing.
(The man fell into the village jolt.)

2. All piz @ a, and one ride.
(The husband is on a business trip.)

3. All riding, but one piz @ a.
(The husband was run over by a trolley bus.)

4. All piz @ a, no one riding.
(The trolleybus fell off the bridge.)

5. A boy and a girl in the grass were doing something on the "E".
(We ate strawberries.)

6. How many blacks does it take to bury a person?
(Five. Four carry the coffin, and the fifth is in front with a tape recorder.)

7. About 40 million people practice THIS at night. What it is?
(Internet.)

8. Crawling downhill, running uphill.
(Snot.)

9. A woman is standing on the floor, opening her hole. RECOMMEND TO READ

10. Get up, reach the sky.
(Rainbow.)

11. Hanging pear - you can not eat. Why?
(Boxers can stuff their faces.)

12. What cannot be eaten for breakfast?
(Lunch and dinner.)

13. No arms, no legs for a woman gallop!
(Rocker arm.)

14. Jumping dexterously and eating carrots?
(Bubka is on a diet.)

15. Who doesn't wet their hair in the pouring rain?
(Bold.)

16. Not a rooster, but singing, not a grandfather, but a grandmother, who is this?
(Philip Kirkorov.)

17. One wheel, a thousand wings - what is it?
(A wheelbarrow with manure.)

18. What is: hard is inserted into soft, and balls dangle nearby?
(Earrings.)

19. Two women at the fence: one glued, the other sewn ... What should be done with them?
(Tear off the first, rip off the second.)

20. Red, long, 21?
(Tram.)

21. What is blue gold?
(Beloved wife got drunk.)

22. What is excited by Koch's wand?
(1.tuberculosis; 2.Koch's wife.)

23. What do burnt bread, a drowned man and a pregnant woman have in common?
(Didn't have time to pull it out ...)

24. Two rings, two ends ...
(Very fancy New Russian.)

25. A dead man lies in the desert. There is a bag behind his shoulders, a flask with water on his belt. For many kilometers around there is not a single living soul. What did the person die from and what is in his bag?
(The man died from hitting the ground, and there was a parachute in the bag that did not open.)

26. What is the difference between a teacher and a pedophile?
(The pedophile really loves children.)

27. The 12-storey building has an elevator. Only 2 people live on the first floor, from floor to floor the number of residents doubles. What's the most pressing button in the elevator in this house?
(Regardless of the distribution of tenants by floor, button "1".)

28. With onions and eggs, but not a pie?
(Robin the Hood.)

29. Going to the compartment Buratino, Malvina, an honest customs officer and a filthy cop. They are playing cards, there is a lot of money in the bank, the train enters the tunnel. After leaving the tunnel, the money disappeared. Who stole the money?
(The cop is filthy, because the first three do not exist in nature ...)

30. Where does the snow woman come from?
(From ZIMBABwe.)

31. Which country is the most armed?
(Israel, ... there everyone walks with sawn-off trimmings.)

32. What is it - the color of lilac, sees back as well as forward, and jumps above the bell tower?
(White blind horse, because lilacs are white, and the bell tower does not jump at all.)

33. What is it: the eyes are afraid - the hands are doing.
(Phone sex.)

34. A small, yellowish under the bed lies, on the "Z" begins.
(Penny. Why on "Z"? Rolled up ...)

35. A three-letter word that any man is afraid of?
(Yet!)

36. What is the kindest ghost with a motor in the world?
(Zaporozhets.)

37. Does A love B, B loves C?
What to do A?
(Find another B.)

38. What is it: there is a head, there is no head, there is a head, there is no head?
(Lame behind the fence.)

39. They buried the prostitute, wrote on the tombstone: "Now they will always be together." Who are they?
(Legs.)

40. How good it is for you and me, I am under you, and you are on me.
(The hedgehog carries an apple.)

41. What is it: flies and shines?
(Mosquito with a gold tooth.)

42. What is: 90/60/90?
(Speed with a traffic cop.)

43. Stop-log in case of emergency braking.
(Pillar.)

44. Earrings for simpletons.
(Noodles.)

45. The arithmetic mean between a bicycle and a motorcycle?
(Moped.)

46. Hangs on the wall, green and squeaks.
(Herring. Hanging on the wall because I hung it there, green because I painted it, and squeaks so that no one would guess.)

47. Comes out of the water, eight boobs, three p @ # dy

(Eight-point trip @ # dec.)

48. Does it dangle between your legs, stink and yell?
(Motorbike.)

49. What does a woman have on her body,
on a Jew's mind
used in hockey
and on the chessboard?
(Combination.)

50. To what question will no one ever answer "yes"?
(Sleeping to the question: "Are you sleeping?")

51. How can you walk while sitting?
(In the toilet - on the toilet.)

52. With scales - but not a fish, with p # $ doy - but not a woman, with wings - but not a bird.
(Scaly n # $ covered.)

53. When is a person in a room without a head?
(When he pokes her out of the window onto the street.)

54. Which three-letter word is now most often written on the walls of toilets in schools and universities?
(You yourself X # @! The correct answer is WWW!)

55. Which social group has critical days twice a year?
(Students.)

56. When the goat is seven years old, what happens next?
(Eighth will go.)

57. Water is all around, and law is in the middle. What it is?
(The prosecutor bathes.)

58. Can a man marry his widow's sister?
(No.)

59. Why is a hat worn?
(Because she doesn't walk herself.)

60. Small, yellowish, picking in the ground.
(The Vietnamese is looking for a mine.)

61. A small, yellowish one tumbles in the sky.
(Found!!!)

62. Why do you go to bed when you want to sleep?
(By floor.)

63. Can an ostrich call itself a bird?
(No, he can't talk.)

64. What should be done to keep four guys in one boot?
(Remove one boot from each.)

65. He left his grandfather, and left his grandmother ...
(Sex.)

66. What is it: the power lies, but the water runs?
(The deputy is given an enema.)

67. What is green, will you press the button - red?
(A frog in a blender.)

68. Cross-eyed, small, in a white fur coat, in felt boots?
(Chukotka Santa Claus.)

69. What is gold coins falling from a branch?
(A common sight in the land of fools.)

70. What kind of blacksmiths are forging in the forest?
(And x # y knows him!)

71. Dry-wedge, wet-pancake?
(Wet wedge, damn it!)

72. The goose barked all over Russia.
(Swan.)

73. What is: two abdomens, four ears?
(Cat's wedding.)

74. Wrinkled Titus amuses the whole village.
(Lack of youth in the countryside.)

75. How many eggs can a woman hold in one hand?
(Both.)

76. Why is it warm for women in stockings in winter, and cold for men in jeans?
(Because men have a heater x @ # yy, and women have n [email protected] date.)

77. What can you throw off a naked secretary?
(The naked boss.)

78. What is it: walking on the wall and playing?
(A fly with a player in its ears.)

79. When a woman lifts her leg, what do you see? Five letters, starts with P, ends with A.
(Heel.)

80. How fast should a dog run so as not to hear the ringing of a frying pan tied to its tail?
(The dog must stand. This problem in the company is immediately revealed by physics: the physicist replies that it needs to run at supersonic speed.)

81. There is a bald hedgehog - how old is he?
(18 - he is taken into the army.)

82. I take in two hands,
I shove between my legs,
I sweat for five minutes
and then bastard.
(Exercise bike.)

83. Why are you looking at me, take off your clothes, I'm yours.
(Bed.)
(Option: Hanger.)

84. The hairy head flies deftly over the cheek.
(Toothbrush.)

85. Around is black, in the middle is red.
(Radish in the ass Negra.)

86. Around it is black, in the middle it is white.
(Radish in the same place, only bitten.)

87. The letter X is called, P. will see rises.
(The trunk takes food.)

88. With claws, not a bird, flies and swears.
(Electrician.)

89. Either hanging or standing now cold or hot.
(Shower.)

90. You remember him a little, it will be hard like a potato.
(Snowball.)

91. A small, grayish one looks like an elephant.
(Baby elephant.)

92. What is it: sitting on the ceiling, gnawing at a light bulb?
(Ceiling lamp gnaw.)

93. Who is: six wings, seven x # s?
(Six-winged seven ...)

94. One hundred clothes and all without fasteners.
(Bum.)

95. The hunter walked past the clock tower. He took out his gun and fired. Where did he go?
(To the police.)

96. In autumn it nourishes, in winter it warms, in spring it cheers, in summer it cools.
(Vodka.)

97. Where does the chicken go when crossing the road?
(On the other side of the road.)

98. A boy fell from 4 steps and broke his leg. How many legs will a boy break if he falls off 40 steps?
(Just one, because the second one is already broken.)

99. What is it: a little bald man running through the forest?
(Hedgehog. Why bald? Escaped from Chernobyl.)

100. Does not bark, does not bite, but does not let him into the house.
(The wife will not let the drunken husband in.)

101. What kind of dishes can you not eat anything from?
(From empty.)

102. Four brothers stand under one roof.
(Mafia.)

103. Who is this - a little one, lives in the earth, begins on "U"?
(Little worm.)

104. White, not sugar. Cold, not ice.
(Dead body.)

105. What word always sounds wrong?
(The word "is wrong".)

106. Ivashka stands on one leg.
(Disabled person.)

107. Why does pop buy a hat?
(Because they don’t give for nothing.)

108. Under what tree does the hare sit when it rains?
(Under wet.)

109. What do money and a coffin have in common?
(Both are first hammered in and then lowered.)

110. Two ends, two rings, and studs in the middle.
(Victim of a maniac.)

111. What wheel does not spin when turning right?
(Spare.)

112. What is: small, black, breaks against the glass?
(The baby is in the oven.)

113. How many babies can fit in a double stroller?
(And this, depending on how you chop ...)

114. What is it: hanging on the wall and crying?
(Climber.)

115. Red head - works deftly.
(Woodpecker.)

116. What is: first white, then vzh-zhik, and red?
(The neighbor's poodle is in the mixer.)

117. No windows, no doors, but a Jew sits inside? What is it?
(Sarah is pregnant.)

118. What is: small, green, standing on the panel?
(A prostitute from another planet.)

119. Hangs on a rope, called "Z".
(Zoya Kosmodemyanskaya.)

120. Who will get to the refrigerator faster - a mouse or an elephant?
(Mouse. She will come by bike.)

121. How do you know if there is a mouse in the refrigerator without opening it?
(There must be a bicycle near the refrigerator.)

122. What is: green, bald and jumping?
(Soldier at the disco.)

123. What is it: blue, big, with a mustache and completely stuffed with hares?
(Trolleybus.)

124. Hair, hair ... and sausage in the middle.
(Corn.)

125. Three turtles are crawling along the plane.
One says: there are no turtles in front of me, and two are crawling behind me.
Another says: there is one turtle in front of me and one behind me.
The remaining one says: two turtles are crawling in front of me and two behind me.
Question: In what case can this be?
(Answer: In case the third turtle is pi $ # it.)

126. Small, yellowish, the door itself opens.
(Bruce Lee.)

127. What is the difference between a young bachelor and an old one?
(A young bachelor tidies up his house to invite a woman, and an old one invites a woman into the house to tidy up.)

128. Winter, forest, everything is covered with snow. A crushed penis is lying on a large icy stump. What is it?
(Winter has come to the end.)

129. Little wrinkled, is in every woman.
(Zest.)

130. How many peas can fit in one glass?
(Not at all, because peas don't go.)

131. A hedgehog runs across the lawn - drags along, laughs. Why is he laughing?
(Because the weed tickles pussy.)

132. A hedgehog runs across the lawn - crying. Why crying?
(They cut the grass.)

133. Two nails fell into the water. What is the Georgian surname?
(Rusted.)

134. A hippo was flying across the sky, and a hunter with a gun ran after him on the ground. The hunter fired, and the hippo fell on him. Who is still alive?
(Elephant because he flew out later.)

135. How many programmers does it take to turn a light bulb?
(None. This is a hardware problem, programmers don't solve it.)

136. Name a word with 40 vowels.
(Forty (forty "A").)

137. There is one in the sky,
There is no land in the land,
And the woman has two of them.
(Letter B.)

138. How do day and night end?
(With a soft sign.)

139. We guys are daring, we climb into the cracks of the genitals.
(Cockroaches.)

140. What is it: hangs on the wall and smells?
(Clock: the cuckoo died in it.)

141. What is - small, white blood sucks?
(Tampon.)

142. What is it - sitting on a tree, black and croaking? On the letter Sh.
(Crow. Why Sh? Because she pretended to be a hose.)

143. What is - small, white, flies and buzzes? On the letter B.
(Fly. Why B? Because the blonde.)

144. Quietly approached from behind,
He stuck it in twice and went.
(Slippers.)

145. Hair on hair, body on body - a dark matter begins.
(The eye closes.)

146. What is 100 x% s and one rope?
(Barge Haulers on the Volga.)

147. What is 100 ropes and one x% th?
(Parachutist.)

148. What is 100x% s and 100 ropes?
(Barge haulers on parachutes.)

149. What is it:
Running on the ceiling, sucking lamps?
(Ceiling lamp sucker.)

150. Hangs - dangles, called three letters. In the middle of the "U".
(Shower.)

151. What is:
Two ends, two rings?
(Gay wedding.)

152. Why did Lenin walk in boots and Stalin in boots?
(On the ground.)

153. Why don't elephants fly?
(Through the air.)

154. How does a person differ from a steam locomotive?
(The locomotive first whistles, then starts, and the man first starts, and then walks and whistles.)

155. Above is black, inside is red.
As you put it in, it's so beautiful.
(Galoshes.)

156. It consists of three letters,
The "X" begins,
When it's worth it,
When he finishes, he bows.
(Chorus.)

157. What a fellow
dripping from the end in the morning?
(Samovar.)
(Option: Water tap.)

158. Who is:
He himself does not shoot and does not give to others?
(Alexander Matrosov.)

159. A hanging pear - you can't eat it.
(Someone else's pear.)
(Option: Aunt Grunya hanged herself.)

160. Two turtles (male and female) are walking along the shore in love, holding each other by the paws. After an hour, only the male comes back. Where is the female?
(She stayed there - he forgot to turn her over.)

161. Two men are on opposite sides of the earth. One walks on a tightrope over a cliff, and the other is given a blowjob by a 70-year-old woman. Both men have the same idea. Which?
(Don't look down.)

162. Creeps, crawls - he will eat the stone. Crawling again, crawling - he will eat the stone.
What it is?
(Stonefoot.)

163. Creeps, crawls - he will eat the tree. Crawling again, crawling - he will eat the tree.
What it is?
(Stonefoot. He eats trees.)

164. In a dark room, on a white sheet - two hours of pleasure.
(Film show.)

165. What does Adam have in front and Eve has in the back?
(The letter a".)

166. Why do girls go red in Paris?
(On the ground.)

167. Two backs, one head, six legs. What it is?
(The man on the chair.)

168. How does the first floor differ from the ninth?
(From the first floor you will fall: "Boo! - Aa!" And from the ninth "Aa! - Boo!")

169. The very scarlet sugar, green velvet caftan.
(Negative on color film, depicting the "new Russian".)

170. Back and forth:
It is pleasant for you and me.
(Swing.)

171. A multi-colored rocker hung over the river.
(A sign of incipient madness.)

172. What is the difference between a tractor and a tomato?
(The tomato is red, and in the tractor the door opens outward.)

173. What is it:
sitting on the window, speaking French?
(Frenchman.)

174. The more there are, the less weight. What is it?
(Holes.)

175. How does a horse differ from a needle?
(You will first sit on a needle, then you will jump, and first you will jump on a horse, then you will sit down.)

176. What is:
Is it black, square, hairy on the nightstand?
(TV [n $% doy covered up].)

177. The black dog does not bark,
does not bite, but does not let him into the house.
(A dead black dog blocking the entrance to the house.)

178. Pet, on "t" starts.
(Cockroach.)

179. Pet, on "d" begins.
(Two cockroaches.)

180. Pet, the "s" begins.
(There’s one cockroach.)

181. What is:
Black - on one leg?
(Single-legged black.)

182. What is:
Black - on two legs?
(Two one-legged negroes.)

183. What is:
Black - on three legs?
(Piano.)

184. What is:
Black - on four legs?
(The one-legged black man at the piano.)

1. Hanging pear - you can not eat. Why?
(Boxers can stuff their faces.)

2. All piz @ a, and one ride.
(The husband is on a business trip.)

3. All riding, but one piz @ a.
(The husband was run over by a trolley bus.)

4. All piz @ a, no one riding.
(The trolleybus fell off the bridge.)

5. A boy and a girl in the grass were doing something on the "E".
(We ate strawberries.)

6. How many blacks does it take to bury a person?
(Five. Four carry the coffin, and the fifth is in front with a tape recorder.)

7. About 40 million people practice THIS at night. What it is?
(Internet.)

8. Crawling downhill, running uphill.
(Snot.)

9. A woman is standing on the floor, opening her hole.
(Stove.)

10. Get up, reach the sky.
(Rainbow.)

11. There is a plaque in the teeth, longing in the eyes.
(The man fell into the village jolt.)

12. What cannot be eaten for breakfast?
(Lunch and dinner.)

13. No arms, no legs for a woman gallop!
(Rocker arm.)

14. Jumping dexterously and eating carrots?
(Bubka is on a diet.)

15. Who doesn't wet their hair in the pouring rain?
(Bold.)

16. Not a rooster, but singing, not a grandfather, but a grandmother, who is this?
(Philip Kirkorov.)

17. One wheel, a thousand wings - what is it?
(A wheelbarrow with manure.)

18. What is: hard is inserted into soft, and balls dangle nearby?
(Earrings.)

19. Two women at the fence: one glued, the other sewn ... What should be done with them?
(Tear off the first, rip off the second.)

20. Red, long, 21?
(Tram.)

21. What is blue gold?
(Beloved wife got drunk.)

22. What is excited by Koch's wand?
(1.tuberculosis; 2.Koch's wife.)

23. What do burnt bread, a drowned man and a pregnant woman have in common?
(Didn't have time to pull it out ...)

24. Two rings, two ends ...
(Very fancy New Russian.)

25. A dead man lies in the desert. There is a bag behind his shoulders, a flask with water on his belt.
For many kilometers around there is not a single living soul.
What did the person die from and what is in his bag?
(The man died from hitting the ground, and there was a parachute in the bag that did not open.)

26. What is the difference between a teacher and a pedophile?
(The pedophile really loves children.)

27. The 12-storey building has an elevator.
Only 2 people live on the first floor, from floor to floor the number of residents doubles. What's the most pressing button in the elevator in this house?
(Regardless of the distribution of tenants by floor, button "1".)

28. With onions and eggs, but not a pie?
(Robin the Hood.)

29. Going to the compartment Buratino, Malvina, an honest customs officer and a filthy cop.
They are playing cards, there is a lot of money in the bank, the train enters the tunnel.
After leaving the tunnel, the money disappeared. Who stole the money?
(The cop is filthy, because the first three do not exist in nature ...)

30. Where does the snow woman come from?
(From ZIMBABwe.)

31. Which country is the most armed?
(Israel, ... there everyone walks with sawn-off trimmings.)

32. What is it - the color of lilac, sees back as well as forward, and jumps above the bell tower?
(White blind horse, because lilacs are white, and the bell tower is not
jumps.)

33. What is it: the eyes are afraid - the hands are doing.
(Phone sex.)

34. A small, yellowish under the bed lies, on the "Z" begins.
(Penny. Why on "Z"? Rolled up ...)

35. A three-letter word that any man is afraid of?
(Yet!)

36. What is the kindest ghost with a motor in the world?
(Zaporozhets.)

37. Does A love B, B loves C?
What to do A?
(Find another B.)

38. What is it: there is a head, there is no head, there is a head, there is no head?
(Lame behind the fence.)

39. They buried the prostitute, wrote on the gravestone:
"Now they will always be together." Who are they?
(Legs.)

40. How good it is for you and me, I am under you, and you are on me.
(The hedgehog carries an apple.)

41. What is it: flies and shines?
(Mosquito with a gold tooth.)

42. What is: 90/60/90?
(Speed with a traffic cop.)

43. Stop-log in case of emergency braking.
(Pillar.)

44. Earrings for simpletons.
(Noodles.)

45. The arithmetic mean between a bicycle and a motorcycle?
(Moped.)

46. Hangs on the wall, green and squeaks.
(Herring. Hanging on the wall because I hung it there, green because I painted it, and squeaks so that no one would guess.)

47. Comes out of the water, eight boobs, three n @ # dy (Eight-tit trip @ # dec.)

48. Does it dangle between your legs, stink and yell?
(Motorbike.)

49. What does a woman have on her body, a Jew in her mind, is used in hockey and on a chessboard?
(Combination.)