Why people fall in love: a scientific explanation. What happens to the brain during falling in love

09.08.2019

As studies of the brain using MRI have shown, during falling in love, a new department “opens” in the brain - love, happiness, a feeling of euphoria and at the same time decreases or even “turns off” that part of the brain (frontal lobe) that controls our logical thinking. For example, a lover does not notice any flaws in the object of his love, even one for which he is absolutely indifferent.

Scientists believe that nature gave man the feeling of being in love, so that we would be different from other living beings. If only the part that is responsible for the logic of actions in a state of love worked in our brain, then there would be no tender relationship. After marriage, the couple would continue to live as usual. They would have planned children, would have taken care of the general well-being of the whole family, but no emotional excitement, love romance and jealousy.

When scanning the brain of a lover, it became known that the zone of love blocks access to consciousness to zones that control all negative emotions, including fear. Everyone knows how a person in love changes externally and internally - he becomes happy and this is noticeable with the naked eye, he is absolutely fearless, and for the sake of his beloved he can give his life. He is constantly cheerful, even the impression is made that he is ready to take off, he boldly looks into tomorrow, he is confident in himself and his happy future.

Love and drug addiction are very similar to each other, we can even say that they are one and the same. In a person in love (like a drug addict who has taken a dose), the level of dopamine in the body increases the feeling of overwhelming happiness and delight, and therefore it is extremely difficult to give up love experiences. Drugs such as opium and cocaine increase the level of dopamine in the addict's body, just like love. But the presence of dopamine in the body reduces the work of another, no less important hormone - serotonin, which controls appetite and mood, hence the popular saying "dries up with love", and many girls laugh off their friend's complaints about the presence of extra pounds: "You urgently need to fall in love ". Indeed, a lover, as a rule, loses weight, and sometimes becomes extremely irritated and anxious.

An excess of adrenaline in the blood of a lover makes the heart beat faster, his mouth becomes dry and his palms sweat profusely when he sees the object of his passion, the same symptoms are observed when he feels danger. It often happens that a couple of people who find themselves in an emergency, having experienced an increase in adrenaline (fear), fall in love with each other.

As a result, I would like to add that if love is psychologically similar to drug addiction, then all the same, these are two big differences. Addiction is death. Love is happiness and an eternal holiday, thanks to which a new life appears!

Psychology and behavioral reactions of the stronger sex have their own characteristics. Because of this, it is not easy for ladies. So, if a guy is in love with a girl, how does he behave?

Can we single out any specific patterns in behavior? Of course: after all, falling in love is nothing more than the realization of the instinct of procreation, the code of which is embedded in every man.

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Men behave more rationally than women. The need to calculate in advance also applies to matters of the heart. Even the emergence of love has its own algorithm:

Assessment of appearance. The stronger sex loves with his eyes: her appearance and the way a girl behaves give initial data about inclinations, vivid character traits and help to decide whether to seek the lady's favor.
The next stage is the first signs of attention and. The man is interested, but he only probes the waters, assesses the girl's perspectives and reactions.
The candy-bouquet period, when both sides demonstrate their merits. Only after this stage will a man fall in love if a woman suits him according to all criteria.

If a guy is in love with a girl, how does he behave?

How to determine that a guy is in love, and not fooling around? The state of falling in love affects the subconscious. All attention is focused on the girl, who is seen as perfect. There is a desire to take care of her, to emphasize her dignity. At the same time, the process of mutual recognition continues. It is these factors that determine how the lover will behave.

Signs of a young man in love

The signs of a guy in love are genetic, universal, and in many ways are instincts that cannot be controlled.

Falling in love is a strong feeling that requires going out. It manifests itself both in conscious actions and in unconscious impulses.

10 signs a guy is in love:

The man shows no interest in other women.
In the presence of a girl he likes, he behaves softly, follows the speech.
The guy straightens up and straightens his shoulders, making himself more impressive.
The lover behaves jealously, all the men nearby are perceived as rivals.
Hides flaws, inability to do anything and illness.
Begins to think about starting a family.
A lover lowers the tone of his voice in a conversation with a girl.
Specific gestures appear.
He constantly looks at the girl.
Actions are aimed at caring for a loved one.

Signs of a guy in love with a girl can be both obvious and imperceptible. However, the look, gestures and actions will surely give out sympathy.

Sight

The hunter's instinct requires you to keep the target in sight. Therefore, the look of a guy in love always follows the girl. Dilated pupils also indicate interest.

By the way a guy behaves in a company, it is easy to determine who he is in love with: it's worth a joke, and people, laughing, instinctively glance at the person they like most.

Gestures

The gestures of a guy in love are not mind-controlled.

There are several types of non-verbal signals:

Speakers of interest, aimed at establishing contact:
- tilt of the body in the direction of the girl;
- copying a pose;
- touching.
Demonstrating Confidence:
- legs wide apart (sitting and standing);
- palms or fists on the sides, elbows wide apart;
- hands are in the front pockets of trousers, thumbs on the belt;
- thumbs pull the waistband or trouser belt down.
Outstanding nervousness, excitement:
- sorting out objects;
- pulling clothes;
- hair correction;
- erasing invisible dirt.

Deeds

Differs in the desire to recognize and protect the girl, to introduce her into his life:

A man finds himself in places where a girl is, he has similar interests: the desire to be near is due to a sense of possessiveness and the inability to win a lady, being far from her.
Fulfills requests immediately and even to the detriment of himself: the lover behaves selflessly, and there is always free time for the girl.
Makes sudden gifts: falling in love is accompanied by a desire to do something pleasant, to show generosity.
She tries to get to know the chosen one better: this is necessary in order to understand whether the girl is suitable for the role of a permanent partner.
Introduces friends: a conquered girl is considered an achievement. The lover is proud of the fact that the girl is nearby and seeks to introduce her to more people.

How does a timid, shy guy behave?

Not all men openly express their interest. For guys who are unsure of themselves, any refusal is such a strong blow to self-esteem that it is easier not to take the initiative at all. The way a timid guy behaves when in love is due precisely to the fear of rejection.

The behavior of a shy guy in love is distinguished by:

secrecy;
alienation and severity;
nervousness;
in a conversation with a girl, he either talks too much about himself, or listens a lot.

Look, gestures and facial expressions allow you to recognize the real feelings of a shy man. Often, behave kindly, encourage them with smiles and approving phrases.

The psychology of falling in love

The psychology of a guy in love is focused on the successful dissemination of genetic material. Initially, a man sends signals to several potential partners at once. The further development of relations occurs with the girl who gave the greatest number of response signals.

The lover's behavior is designed to:

protect the girl from the attention of rivals;
prove that he is better than others;
evaluate the girl according to the maximum number of criteria.

Since the assessment of a potential partner is based on non-verbal signs, a man cannot always say for sure what attracted him to a girl and how she is better than others.

How do you recognize his feelings?

Every girl once thinks about how to recognize a guy in love, because there is a risk of being deceived by taking wishful thinking. In addition, it is harder for men to talk about love than it is for women.

You can recognize feelings if you pay attention to how a guy in love behaves. It is not necessary that all the features considered will be equally manifested in a man. But some of these signs will certainly be present.

How does a guy feel in love

Test to check if you are in love?

How to check if a guy is in love with you? Here, the girl will be helped by tests that assess how a young man behaves from a psychological point of view.

Test "is a guy in love with you":

Does your boyfriend care for you when you are sick?
- a) Never;
- b) Sometimes, if I insist strongly;
- c) Always cares.
How does a guy behave when it comes to meeting his friends?
- a) Strongly refuses;
- b) Postpones acquaintance indefinitely;
- c) Introduced you long ago.
Does he know your tastes?
- a) Doesn't know;
- b) Remembers some things;
- c) He knows what I like.
Something broke at your house. How does a guy behave in such a situation?
- a) Ignores;
- b) Asks routine questions and forgets;
- c) Solves your problem.
How does he behave when you are around?
- a) Ignores you, looks at other girls, behaves rudely;
- b) Behaves in the same way as with other people;
- c) Often touches, looks into the eyes.
Does the guy try to look good around you?
- a) No, he doesn't care;
- b) Sometimes when I remind him of it;
- c) Yes. Carefully chooses clothes, monitors posture.
Does he often give gifts?
- a) Never;
- b) Only if you ask;
- c) Seizes every opportunity to please, behaves generously.
It's the end of the working day, a downpour, and you don't have an umbrella. How does the guy behave?
- a) Will not even call;
- b) Will advise you to find an umbrella;
- c) Will come for you with an umbrella.
How often do you see each other?
- a) Rarely;
- b) Periodically;
- c) Regularly.
If he takes you out on a date, on whose initiative?
- a) You are always the initiator;
- b) Sometimes he offers to get out somewhere;
- c) Is often proactive.

Option "a" - 0 points, "b" - 5, "c" - 10.

70–100 points - a man is deeply in love;
30–70 - his feelings are weak;
0-30 - he does not care about you.

Useful video

It is worth remembering that love manifests itself in guys in different ways. Some withdraw into themselves at the sight of their beloved, others begin to chatter incessantly, and still others. There are a number of signs in a guy in love that can help you understand him. Which ones - the video will tell:

Conclusion

It is not easy for men and women to understand each other: the stronger sex behaves with restraint and says little about love. But if a guy falls in love with a girl, signs of this will appear in his gestures, looks and actions.

It is worth being open, paying attention to the signs that he sends, and men's feelings will definitely become clearer.

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The fact that a person likes you can be understood not only after the recognition "on the forehead", but also by the unconscious behavior of the admirer.

site collected confessions of anonymous lovers from the Internet. This is what they think betrays most people's feelings. What is most curious is that people unconsciously behave in this way, regardless of gender and age.

People of the first type always try to be closer to the object of their feelings: to go to places where one can intersect, try to bump into, touch whenever possible (push a little, then, apologizing, hug, etc.).
People of the second type, on the contrary, avoid the person they like, and when they talk, they are rude, because it seems to them that the “victim” either guesses about their feelings, or now they are simply not good enough to appear before her. And if "object X" goes up, they will automatically go down.

So if lately someone has shied away from you or, on the contrary, often accidentally intersects with you, you should know: it is not without reason that all this is.

The lover often looks at his object of adoration: it always seems to him that he has missed some important detail. If this is unrequited love without a chance, then there will be even more views: it’s better this way than nothing.
However, if the eye is caught, then often the lover suddenly activates a "second front": for example, the nearest curtain requires an immediate examination, or an unfamiliar grandmother in the next room is clearly eager to get acquainted.

There are also two options with conversations:

The "fusion" of poet, philosopher and journalist suddenly awakens in man; he talks on the most complex and interesting topics, even if he has never thought about them in his life. As a bonus, the Kaveenschik is sometimes connected.
An adequate and well-read person turns into a stupid ram with a vocabulary like a stool. If you are one of those people, try not to overdo it with trying to impress the other person.

People often talk about a person they like with others. or trying to bring the conversation to this topic. Even if they have a serious conversation with a company of colleagues, having heard the right name out of the corner of their ear, they will inadvertently go over to a neighboring company.
Interesting detail: a person can talk about the object of desire even very, very negatively, ostensibly proving to himself and to everyone around him that he does not like him at all: "Masha is somehow strange ...", "Oh well, this Dima is such an idiot!"
Or one more trick - underlining similarities in conversation, for example: "It seems that only Pasha and I are watching Game of Thrones."

When a person you like appears in sight, the hero of an inner romance is likely to smile unconsciously, and upon meeting, he will involuntarily raise his eyebrows up- from an overabundance of emotions.
And when everyone in the company starts laughing at someone's joke, the lovers, without noticing it, look at who they like first.

A person in love may suddenly become interested in the same things as the object of his feelings: abruptly begin to get involved in sports, read literature unusual for him, etc.

Oh, yes, we almost forgot about the constant checks of the counter of page views of the object on social networks and the unconscious hatred of all his close friends of the opposite sex. What can you do - love!

P. S .: Of course, there are exceptional people (however, as elsewhere), who, no matter how hard you try, will not be able to catch them in such behavior.

Then this man is in love. If a Virgo man falls in love, then this is serious and for a long time. If a Cancer man is in love, he turns into a serious and understanding person. Then you can almost confidently say that the man is in love with you.

If you notice that a man's eyes are "burning" in your presence, or he is constantly smiling and joking, these are signs of a man in love. So you will definitely understand when a man is in love, and when there are no grounds for suspicion of his sympathy.

How does a man behave when he is in love?

Moreover, the man does everything as carefully and as if "casually", so that the woman does not even know about the admirer. A man with his gestures can involuntarily show that you are his beloved woman.

How to understand that a man is in love?

The look of a man can sometimes say more than his actions and actions. At the same time, a woman can constantly feel the gaze of a man on herself when she is turned sideways or with her back to him.

A Taurus man is in love if he tries to constantly make you laugh. A man in love Leo is incredibly gallant - you will not have to doubt his feelings. A Scorpio man in love does not waste time. If the lady of the heart does not accept something that is in the life of a man, he can leave the occupation. A man may begin to confuse the names of acquaintances and friends, call women by the name of his beloved. The rapprochement between a man and a woman is a process involving mutual concessions and compromises.

The main signs of a man in love

When a woman loves, everyone knows about it. And if a man realizes that he is in love, then at first he stubbornly hides it. However, there are certain signs that help you know when a man is in love. Every man has his own ways of expressing feelings. If a man is in love, he tries to agree with you in everything, listens to your opinion, tries to support you.

This friendly support hides in itself something more - the man is in love with you. He behaves like a caring friend - subtle, neat and tactful. Usually, those who are definitely in love behave this way. When a man is in love, he tries not to disappear from your field of vision. A man in love with you often finds himself in the same places as you. At the same time, looking into your eyes, he claims that he was here completely by accident, but he is very glad to meet you.

How does a man in love behave with a lady of his heart?

An attentive, piercing glance from a representative of the opposite sex can only be when a man is in love. If the man who is in love with you is right-handed, then at the table he will sit to your left. The left-hander will be located on the right.

But, of course, it is worth remembering that every man is different! And each has its own manifestations of love. One can behave cocky and attract attention with sparkling humor, while the other can be completely serious or even embarrassed. Therefore, the lady begins to frantically puzzle over whether she is loved, especially if she herself is interested in this man.

At the desk, a man can stare out the window for a long time, smile at the wheel, dream - no wonder, because they are as much romantics as the fair half! A man in love always tries to be in the field of vision of his beloved, wants to draw attention to himself.

How to understand that a man really loves you

If the man is your colleague, he will try to constantly attract attention with loud laughter or anecdote. A man in love reacts differently to the presence of his beloved woman. Still others, on the contrary, can withdraw into themselves and only listen to what their beloved says. Some men strive to tell as much as possible about their person, and extremely positive - it is important for a person that the lady thinks well of him.

A man in love, even if he just began to feel the feeling, will certainly be jealous of his chosen one. If a man constantly looks away and tries not to look into the eyes of his beloved, it means that the feelings in him are playing more and more. A gaze often betrays a man in love, as he unconsciously tries to see signs of desire or arousal in a woman.

He is directly and explicitly courting, he can tell several hero stories from his life to show that he is a real man. When a Libra man is in love, he brags to the lady about his awards, tells interesting stories. The woman becomes his property, he behaves as if you have known each other for a long time. When a Sagittarius man is in love, he will "accidentally" appear where you are, carry nonsense incessantly, on the very first evening he can offer his hand and heart.

He can make friends with his beloved, but he needs to find out if she is faithful. Capricorn weighs the pros and cons for a long time before moving to another level of relationship. If an Aquarius man falls in love, he loves to treat a lady with candy from his hand or drink champagne for brotherhood.

When a man is in love, he is drawn to you like a magnet. Have you noticed how the shirt sits on a man and you don't like it? From the eyes you can immediately understand that the man is truly happy. If a man is in love, he listens to the woman's opinion. However, there are a number of common signs based on how a man in love behaves - they will help to quite clearly determine whether you are really loved.

Each person at least once in his life fell in love or felt sympathy for another (which, in principle, is inseparable from each other). And at that moment, he really feels different, not the way he usually does. There is a certain feeling of euphoria, elevation, lightness. And any literate person knows that such a process is necessarily accompanied by chemical and physical reactions of the body. But which ones?

Dopamine release

Why people fall in love is an interesting question. And there are a lot of ambiguous answers to it. But what happens in the human body during this process has long been proven by science.

First, there is an active release of dopamine - a hormone that is responsible for the psychoemotional state of a person. It creates a sense of satisfaction, which is why it often affects the processes of motivation and achievement of goals. In simpler terms, dopamine provides a person with the desire to achieve what he naturally needs to obtain satisfaction, bliss and happiness. This also applies to love. If a person feels sympathy for someone, a release of dopamine occurs, which affects the desire to continue communication with the object he liked, as it brings pleasure and joy.

Adrenalin

This His release stimulates the action of the central nervous system, increases the level of wakefulness, mental activity and energy. When the adrenaline level rises, the person feels tension, anxiety, or anxiety. In general, the symptoms are familiar to almost every person who has ever fallen in love. Fear for a just started relationship, excitement in anticipation of a response to an offer, experiences during the first meetings, when people just get to know each other - all this is accompanied by Hormones that cause love, do not exist. But then there are those who accompany her.

How it all begins

Well, as one could understand, hormones only accompany the process of arising and growing sympathy. But why do people fall in love?

Opposites are said to attract. This is not true, but just a beautiful phrase that has nothing to do with reality. Quite the opposite is true. Take acquaintance, for example. A group of young people in a bar decides to meet pretty girls sitting at the next table. They sit down, start talking. And now a potential pair is emerging. The girl turns her attention to only one guy out of all five who sat down with her with her friends. She likes his appearance, she seems very harmonious and attractive. The girl also notices how polite, courteous he is and does not allow himself anything superfluous. He, in turn, also pays attention to her. The way the girl is modest, shy - it seems attractive to him. After all, he just prefers such quiet persons whom you can get to know better in private, and not those who reveal their souls in front of everyone and at once.

But other girls may find this guy boring, without a twist, so to speak. They prefer the more cheerful, self-confident, with the character of a leader. Such as themselves. It is not opposites that attract. Of course, people who have some differences also agree. This is also not bad - then they have the opportunity to learn something from each other. But the point is that only good relations will develop because only they will be able to understand each other, support, give advice in difficult times. It's the most important. After all, mutual understanding and support are the foundation of a strong relationship. This is why people fall in love with those who are somehow similar to them.

Expert opinion

When asked why people fall in love, the Italian psychologist Francesco Alberoni gave a good answer. He devoted a lot of time to studying this issue.

Francesco assured: if a person fell in love at first sight, it means that he is ready to forget all the previous experience and change his life. He feels that it is time to use those opportunities that were postponed for "later." And he is ready to realize his dreams, desire and even change - if this person is next to him.

Why exactly he? Sometimes even people who have fallen in love to the point of losing their pulse cannot give an answer to this question. Although everything is obvious. Why do we fall in love with this particular person? It has what it lacked so much. Perhaps he is perfect. It is pleasant to spend time with him, he makes you smile, rejoice, always cheers up if you are sad. With these little things, a person shows his care and willingness to be near, to provide support and help. But this is what is necessary for each of us - just to be needed by someone and to feel reciprocity.

How to deal with feelings?

Sometimes people confuse concepts such as There is a difference, and far from the only one. A lot of them. And this is also worth talking about when discussing why a person often falls in love.

So the first difference. Falling in love lasts a couple of months. And it ends as quickly as it begins. But love lasts a very long time. Sometimes from the moment people meet until the very end of life. True, at first they do not yet realize that this is love. At first, she seems sympathetic.

When a person loves, then everything in his soulmate seems ideal to him. And if there are disadvantages, then they are overlapped by positive qualities. Or a person just gets used to them and treats it condescendingly. In love, everything is different. I like some qualities, others not very much. A person cannot put up with negative moments, and they begin to annoy. As a result, it is already beginning to infuriate what you liked before.

In general, falling in love is a charm. A romantic adventure, one might say. And love is a stable feeling that makes a person want to spend his whole life with the object of his passion and every minute next to him.

What are neuroscientists saying?

Above it was told about love. The difference is significant. But what can be discussed about the feeling that occurs at first sight? It is interesting to refer to the opinion of neuroscientists.

Their thoughts are at odds with what psychologists say. Scientists claim that love at first sight is an illusion. A man sees a beautiful woman, he likes her, and as a result, testosterone is released. He gets the feeling that he has fallen in love. The sky seems brighter, people are kinder, and the air is fresher. Perhaps if they turn out to be kindred spirits, then the feeling will really develop into love. A rare coincidence. But most often it is just a need for sexual release and satisfaction of their needs. Because of a strong attraction, a man and a woman begin to ascribe qualities to each other that, in fact, are not inherent in a partner. Scientists call this artificial relationship maintenance.

In the end, when all needs are satisfied, the veil falls from the eyes, and people disperse, like ships at sea.

Ideal relationship

Each person has their own opinion on how everything should go together in a pair. Scientists have long defined what true love and ideal relationships are.

Almost every couple can be happy. In the event that love and sex are inseparable. This ensures spiritual closeness and the desire to share everything with your partner - both joys and sorrows. In addition, sex is a way to get to know your soul mate better, learn to listen to her desires and interact. It is also an excellent method of expressing your feelings, love, passion and tenderness.

About sincerity of feelings

Each person can answer the question of what true love is in their own way. And it is sometimes difficult for many to formulate an answer. In fact, when a person loves, he wishes his soul mate all the best. And he himself is ready to make big sacrifices for the sake of a partner. Often, we even agree to give up our principles and dreams, so that the one we love would feel good. And, based on this statement, you can give an answer to the previously posed question. True, true love is when someone else becomes the meaning of one person's life.

Psychology tells a lot about why people fall in love. On this score, there is generally an infinite number of opinions. So, for example, if you turn to ethology, you will notice that scientists in this area call love an evolutionary advantage that ensures the attachment of a male to a female.

Neuromorphologists also provide an interesting definition. They claim that love is a conflict between the cerebral cortex and the limbic system. You can put it in simpler words. A person is given a powerful brain with very impressive resources. But also all people have one of the most important functions of which is to shape behavior and motivations. And most people have a completely understandable desire to be needed, loved and share their emotions with someone close. As a result, love and relationships. Morphologists are rather skeptical about this, since most often this desire takes precedence over productive activity. In general, it is also a rather interesting point of view based on the perception of people at the level of brain structures.

But culturologists assure that love is the basis of being. And each opinion is correct and true in its own way. One thing is certain - there have always been controversies on this topic. They will continue to exist as long as people are alive.