About the father who abandoned the child. A generation of abandoned children. Old age of abandoning fathers. Girls abandoned by their fathers. Learning to be happy

A generation of abandoned children. Old age of abandoning fathers.

My parents divorced when I was 7 and my sister was 4.
When I was 6 - he just left for another woman. I remember this day well. I came from school, taking my sister from kindergarten. There was a suitcase in the hallway. Mom wasn't home from work yet. The father was.
He said: “Go eat and feed your sister, and I will go with the men to smoke on the common balcony. And when mom comes - call me. Actually, we have a common balcony overlooking the elevator, and its windows to the entrance. In general, it was somehow difficult to miss my mother. Anyway.
Mom came almost immediately. She asked how we were doing, asked where dad was. As a well-bred child, I told her everything, to which my mother said: “do not call.” But I was VERY afraid of my father. Quietly, so that my mother would not see, she went and called him.
Parents sent us to play in the room, but we didn’t want to play, we sat quietly and quietly and heard everything. They heard how the father said: "Tanya, I'm leaving," and my mother answered: "go away." And he left. Not saying a word to us.
Then there was a very difficult divorce for both my mother and us. In the process, the father removed everything of value from the apartment ... including my mother's fur coat. A couple of years, he still came, brought gifts for the new year (well, yes, just a couple of years and just for the new year), and then that's it. That was the end of the concern. And very unpleasant stories began, which ended with a police squad and a court, according to which my father was discharged from the apartment.
I haven't seen or heard from him in 10 years since then. Needless to say, my father's relatives did not show much curiosity towards our family.
Why am I doing all this. Moreover, there are a lot of us, such children abandoned by our fathers. And we are no longer children. We are adults, and our mothers are getting older. But our fathers are also getting old. It is more difficult for them to find new women for themselves, to start all over again. We, their children, we are strangers to them. They don't have us. Simply no. My father does not have his daughters, for he was not in our life.
And my worst dream is that he will show up in 5-10 years and say: “girls, I’m your father, I’m old, I need care.” And what should I do then?
He was not in my life. Did not have. He is a stranger to me, a stranger who did not give a damn about me for many years. I don't owe him anything. On the one side.
On the other hand, he is still my father, right? How is forgiveness there, a child debt.
I'm scared, I'm very scared, and I never want this for myself, or for anyone else in this situation.
I drove these thoughts away from me, drove, hid my head under the pillow. Until my friend told me a story in which the same prodigal father, in his old age, returned to a woman abandoned by him with an adult son abandoned by him, pressed on pity and now lives at their expense as he should.
Well, we can’t put pressure on pity for sure. But everything else causes a version conflict.
And yet, there are a lot of us, abandoned children with living fathers. Those who are older .. 35-45 years old, it was different there and divorces are rare and so on .. but with us it is all the time. And what should we, this generation of the abandoned, do?
Hey, abandoned, what are we going to do?
And you who quit, what will you do?

The universal law consists of one simple wisdom - do not do bad things to others, so that they do not do bad things to you, but you can safely add "And so as not to worsen your karma" to this.

One of the worst karmic deeds is betrayal - the karma of a man who left his family is very negative, because he caused a woman a lot of pain and suffering. And therefore, retribution for such an indecent act will inevitably overtake him, moreover, when everything seemed to have been forgotten long ago - such are the laws of the world.

What is karma when a husband betrayed?

“The laws of karma (unlike legislation) cannot be circumvented. If you try to evade karmic obligations, they will overtake you and force you to fulfill your duty in a tougher and even; ugly form. You will suffer, but the Universe will force you to put out the energy that it needs in its Great Development (but if your soul is in harmony with its karmic tasks, then most likely you will be happy) ”

The meaning of the family is to protect each other, to give their love and kindness, to continue the family in an atmosphere of comfort and spiritual harmony. This is one of the main tasks of any person. Alas, modern life leaves its mark - now it has become fashionable to leave your wife with small children, not really care about the feelings of a once close person, wave your hand at everything and think only about yourself.

But, according to karmic laws, such an act is completely negative, it greatly worsens the karma of a man, and also deprives him of the opportunity to be loved in the future.

In general, a person’s karma is made up precisely of his actions - good ones improve the aura, make our fate cleaner and happier, but bad actions entail cruel retribution and life lessons that will have to be worked out and learned against one’s will.

Since in marriage a man takes on the role of a breadwinner and a strong side, a great responsibility is placed on him. The current gentlemen do not always cope with this and prefer to simply run away, leaving the woman alone, without help and support.

That is, men personally deny their direct mission to be the protection and head of the family. The universe reads this and ... really deprives a man of all his advantages, and sometimes even sexual power.

“The karma of a man in the most general terms is the opportunity and obligation to be a creator, builder, mover of humanity. A man actively breaking through the darkness of the unknown is a fighter, an invader of new spaces, new knowledge, new perfection. He is a Man, and much can be forgiven for him. The karma of a woman is to be everything that will provide a Man (and Mankind) with movement, development, construction and perfection. Apparently, this task is a little more complicated, so a woman was initially given a little more than anything: a little more opportunities and a little more responsibilities, a little more potential strength and a little more problems, a little more intuition and a little more tests for the soul.

From the book "Karma of a woman, karma of a man"

The karma of those men who abandon their young children is especially vilified - such an offense will entail a real retribution, which cannot be got rid of. Not only does a man leave his family, he deprives the defenseless creature of his love and care, literally refuses him, although he himself gave birth to him.

The more suffering and pain such an act brings to loved ones, the more powerful the karmic retribution will be. The suffering of small children completely denigrates her to such a state that sometimes she has to pay karmic bills in subsequent lives.

The whole horror of this is that the child cannot imagine why his father left him, he considered him something permanent, one of the closest people, and therefore the sudden father's departure forever distorts the fate of the child.

It is for this reason that many of those who abandoned their families lead by no means a happy life in the future, and this only gets worse over the years, grows - karma comes into play. Men leave for a variety of reasons, but if this departure was not motivated by weighty arguments (for example, if the wife cheated or treats her husband badly), then this will certainly worsen karma.

Although many representatives of the stronger sex sincerely believe that this is their personal right: if I want, I get married, if I want, I get divorced. But it's not. You have no right to take responsibility for another person and create an alliance with him, in order to end up just destroying him and leaving your partner alone with his pain.

If you are not ready to be with one woman all your life, give birth to children and put them on their feet, taking care of them, then it’s better not to start a family.

“The karmic task of a man is the mastery of the World, the divine penetration of the soul into the densest matter of the Universe. A man explores new lands and spaces. He boldly ventures into the unknown. On the territory reclaimed from Eternity, he builds beautiful castles and nurtures sprouts that will nourish new generations of builders and explorers. He is a doer and creator. And it doesn’t matter what a man does: he sows bread, builds cities and ships, discovers new laws of the physical world or the subtle world of the human psyche, improves technologies, provides people with the comfort of earthly existence, etc. - the main thing is that he does it as can be more thorough. Everything that a man builds should serve the Harmony of the World. And if this is so, then the man fulfills his main karmic task. He is an activist. He is a ray of sunshine penetrating the dense matter of our world. He fills with the light of reason everything he touches. He is a logician. He cognizes the laws of Nature and puts them at the service of reason. He tames a wild beast named Chaos, he puts things in order in life. He is the creator and builder

From the book "Karma of a woman, karma of a man"

In fact, this quote makes it clear how far modern men are from their primary task, from their own essence. Denying his main tasks and his destiny, a man seems to send a signal into space: “I don’t want to be a man, I don’t like it, I can’t cope with my earthly duties.”

In the future, the fate of the one who abandoned his family and caused her a lot of pain is completely unseemly: many of those who abandoned their wives and children begin to drink, slide down the slope. They seem to have no place in this world, they begin to have difficulties with work, difficulties in the sexual sphere and in their personal lives. This is karma.

Does a wife feel the pain of an abandoned husband: a woman's karma

“A woman herself is called to give birth to life, apparently, therefore, all the contradictions of life are concentrated in her literally in a hypertrophied form! Men do not dream of such problems even in a nightmare.

From the book "Karma of a woman, karma of a man"

In fact, women now leave at least as often as men. And although the fair sex does not have such amazing karmic tasks as a man, there still remains something that negatively affects female karma - this is the pain and moral torment that the abandoned man experiences.

Naturally, even after the cooling of the former feelings or their disappearance, people for some time remain still connected with each other by invisible threads. Many women ask - can an ex-wife feel the feelings of an abandoned spouse? Here everything is individual, because spiritual development and esoteric abilities are different for all of us.

If the love between you was strong, and you are good at understanding people, you have some gift from nature, then you will feel vague experiences at a time when the abandoned man will suffer most acutely. For other women, this goes completely without a trace: they do not feel anything or are even in a kind of euphoric state from their newfound freedom.

But do not forget about karmic retribution - if you left a man who did not deserve such a fate, then you doomed yourself to work it out in later life.

In addition, such actions have a reverse, mirror side - according to the teachings of karma, after a while the same evil that you caused someone in the past will await you. But only amplified several times so that you repent of your deed and understand what pain you made the betrayed side feel.

“And the woman? The woman herself is like a part of matter, a part of the divine Nature, which is touched by a sunbeam. In any case, she is closer to matter and therefore can help a man understand matter, or rather, feel it. A wise woman is like a conductor helping a male ray of light to penetrate into the very depths of matter. It is like a lens that can scatter a beam that is too hard, soften its radiance, or, on the contrary, can collect, concentrate a ray of male light for more subtle and precise work. We can say that a woman is a cell of the body of the Primordial Deity. She is intuitive and sensitive. A man is a spark of the Divine Mind, striving to realize his body.

From the book "Karma of a woman, karma of a man"

It can be concluded that a man cannot have a full life without a woman, just like vice versa. Initially, both of these matters - male and female, are designed to merge together, this allows the couple to achieve unprecedented success, support each other in everything and create an ideal family lifestyle in which everyone is happy and comfortable.

When a woman leaves a man, she also deprives him of an important part, without which it becomes very difficult for him. To some extent, the departure of a wife from the family can break the future life of an abandoned spouse if he loses strength and faith in himself.

And in this case, alas, the karma of the ex-wife or companion will also worsen. After all, each of us has quite obvious tasks in this world, and an unjustified separation can cause acute pain comparable to physical pain - as if a piece of the body was cut off from a person alive. And this, of course, is a bad karmic act.

For this reason, the karma of a man who left his family and the karma of a woman who left her companion are in many ways similar. And it would be wrong to believe that a woman will have to pay less on karmic debts in the future, and a man more. Here, rather, it plays the role of secondary factors - for example, the weak half of humanity prefers to leave their husbands only for good reasons - when the husband cheats, drinks or is engaged in assault.

Naturally, in such situations, there is no need to talk about any karma, the man deserved it. But the stronger sex is more often guided by a base instinct - to leave the family, because it's hard, because the children interfere with the career, because the wife's figure has deteriorated and she has ceased to be beautiful. And it is in such cases that we begin to talk about betrayal, about a bad deed and that a person will face karmic retribution.

Dear John Doe!

I know your name is something else. However, I do not seek to know your real name, I do not see the point. You probably think that I'm about to say what a bad father you were, how ashamed you should be for leaving me. You're wrong. I want to say something else...

I forgive you.

I forgive you for not being around - it made me stronger. As a child, when Father's Day was celebrated at our school, my grandfather was with me. And if they asked me: “Where is your dad?” - I said that I don’t have a dad, but here is his best deputy. Grandfather himself was a father and therefore knew how to teach me to be strong and become a real gentleman. He always taught me not to capitulate to anyone or anything. He explained to me that one should not allow oneself to be humiliated, never by anyone.

I forgive you for rejecting me - through this I found those who deserved my affection

My grandmother taught me to be polite and decent. She explained to me that you need to remain sincere with whomever you communicate, because a lie is always worse than even the most unpleasant truth. She did not allow me to disrespect other people, and if this happened, the punishment was not long in coming. She didn't have any hesitation.

I forgive you for not becoming a parent to me, because my mother was more than able to make up for it. She went to work right after I was born. She raised two children, working from nine to five and providing us with everything we need. She could not always give us what she dreamed of, but we are infinitely grateful to her for everything. She worked like a hard labor so that during the holidays we could go somewhere and have a wonderful rest. She was present at any important event in my life, at all my performances and concerts, she certainly photographed everything, and in general she was proud of any of my achievements.

I forgive you for everything because I was able to cultivate as a result. Without you, I went to first grade, without you I received a diploma of higher education. I finally came to understand who I am and what I would like to become. Now I know what parent model I should look up to when I become a father myself. Your absence predetermined my success, it pushed me forward, motivated me to achieve more.

It's not that I wanted to prove to you what I'm worth, no, I wanted to prove it to myself. Looking back, I see that the relatives who surrounded me, all those people who appeared in my life, they managed to fill the void that arose after you left.

In general, know: neither the fact that you left, nor the fact that you broke up with your mother, nor the fact that you ran away from problems, did not break me. The world I live in exists without you. I sincerely hope that you have found your happiness.

I forgive you for the fact that you involuntarily became my father, although you did not need me.

Sincerely,