A 10-year-old child goes to confession. Children's confession: do no harm! Parental involvement in preparing for confession
Recently I talked with one experienced mother. We talked about the development of a child up to a year. I complained: "The kid is capricious all the time, the whole day in his arms ..." "No wonder, you have 19 weeks, another leap!" It turns out that babies up to a year are naughty on schedule! This is a real discovery for me!
Regularities in the development of a child under one year old
In general, I became interested in this topic. And here's the information I dug up. The development of a child up to a year occurs in leaps and bounds. This applies to both physical and mental development. Studies have shown that the periodization of a child's development corresponds in time to changes in brain waves. By the way, jumps in the mental development of babies under one year old often do not coincide with growth spurts, of which there are more.
Development stages of a child up to a year
Difficult periods are observed in all babies at the same age. And the developmental stages of a child up to a year follow the following schedule: 5, 8, 12, 19, 26, 37, 46, 55, 64, 75 weeks of life.
Child development crises do not go unnoticed. At such moments, babies are often whiny and capricious, it becomes more difficult to cope with them than usual, they literally "hang" on their mother.
When, during a growth spurt, a child learns something new, he will have to get out of old habits, and this is not easy. If the baby is already walking, he should not continue to expect that he will continue to be worn in the same way. When he began to crawl, he will be able to pick up toys on his own. With each leap, your child can do more and become more independent.
Child development factors up to one year
The difficult period passes as unexpectedly as it comes. For most mothers, this is a time of relief. The baby has become more independent. He is constantly busy trying what he has recently learned. And the kid is delighted! But this calm is not for long. The next leap is coming soon! Until a year, there will be many more!
Breast-feeding
During growth spikes, babies under one year old suckle longer and more often than usual to increase the amount of milk in the mother to meet the needs of the growing baby body. What to do during a developmental leap? Just feed your baby up to a year as often and as long as he needs. This will help you increase your milk supply quickly. The breast works on the demand-supply principle, which means that the more the toddler sucks, the more milk the mother produces. A few days of more frequent feedings will result in more milk supply and the baby will return to a more familiar “routine” of feedings.
Indicators of child development up to one year
Growth leaps up to a year can be measured in centimeters and grams. In order not to worry if my child is growing and gaining strength, I found the following parameters.
By the age of 4-5 months, the weight of the child doubles, by the year it triples. Each month, you can determine the "normal" increase as follows: in the first six months, the child should add 800 g each month, and for the second - 400 g.
Babies grow on average 2.5 cm per month. In general, the baby should grow by 24-27 cm in a year.
A growth spurt is the next stage of development in a child's life. During the first year of life, the little man develops at an extraordinary speed, acquires many skills. In the first 12 months of life, babies grow by about 25 centimeters, and their weight doubles. Kids surprise their loved ones with the incessant development of physical abilities: only yesterday the baby could not roll from belly to back, and today it is already rolling all over the floor. And tomorrow he wants to eat with a spoon.
"Ay, what's happening to me?"
Rapid development concerns both the body and the brain: there are more and more neural connections, the intelligence of the baby is growing. Scientists have found that babies do not develop evenly, but in leaps and bounds. This happens because the body needs a lot, even a lot of resources for growth. One fine night - once! - and the child becomes 2-4 mm taller. And all thanks to the "accumulated" forces. It is these processes that are called growth spurts in children under one year old.
Growth and weight norms of a child under one year old
WEIGHT GROWTH
| Age | Low rate | Norm | High rate | N. indicator | Norm. | B. Indicator | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | ≤ 2,8 | 3,3 | 3,7≥ | ≤ 45,3 | 47,1 | 53,0≥ | ||||
| 1 | ≤ 3,6 | 4,3 | 5,5≥ | ≤ 49,7 | 52,3 | 57,5≥ | ||||
| 2 | ≤ 3,8 | 5,0 | 6,7≥ | ≤ 52,9 | 55,8 | 60,9≥ | ||||
| 3 | ≤ 4,4 | 5,7 | 7,6≥ | ≤ 55,5 | 58,7 | 63,9≥ | ||||
| 4 | ≤ 4,9 | 6,3 | 8,1≥ | ≤ 57,7 | 61,1 | 66,5≥ | ||||
| 5 | ≤ 5,5 | 7,0 | 8,9≥ | ≤ 59,5 | 63,9 | 68,6≥ | ||||
| 6 | ≤ 5,8 | 7,4 | 9,4≥ | ≤ 61,1 | 66,1 | 70,4≥ | ||||
| 7 | ≤ 5,9 | 7,7 | 10,0≥ | ≤ 62,6 | 67,4 | 72,0≥ | ||||
| 8 | ≤ 6,4 | 8,0 | 10,3≥ | ≤ 63,9 | 68,8 | 73,4≥ | ||||
| 9 | ≤ 6,6 | 8,3 | 10,6≥ | ≤ 65,2 | 70,2 | 74,9≥ | ||||
| 10 | ≤ 6,8 | 8,6 | 11,0≥ | ≤ 66,4 | 71,9 | 76,5≥ | ||||
| 11 | ≤ 7,0 | 8,8 | 11,3≥ | ≤ 67,6 | 72,8 | 78,0≥ | ||||
| 12 | ≤ 7,2 | 9,0 | 11,6≥ | ≤ 69,0 | 74,2 | 79,3≥ |
Mental and emotional development of the baby most often occurs regardless of the physical. The child does not understand what is happening to him, and therefore becomes more capricious, requires more attention, asks for hands more often, sleeps restlessly, refuses breast or formula, or, on the contrary, eats more often and more than usual.
Mothers, of course, are worried: maybe the baby's teeth are about to come out? Or is he tired? Troubled by the tummy? Tired of the toy? Hungry? Freeze?
It turns out that the child is completely healthy, but experiences serious discomfort due to stretching of muscle tissue and blood vessels. The development of the nervous system also requires energy costs - therefore, by the way, newborns usually sleep a lot. A toddler in a crisis may seem mischievous and capricious.- but parents just need to support their baby in this difficult time. Moreover, the crisis often lasts no more than a week, sometimes a couple of days.
Signs of a growth spurt in babies
During periods of crises, children experience more intensive processes in the cerebral cortex. It will not be difficult for a mother to understand her child if she remembers a strange state during the period of premenstrual syndrome, when irritability, tearfulness, despondency roll in - emotions that have nothing to do with logical arguments. I would like to hide away from everyone. Likewise, the baby wants to find peace in her mother's arms.
What to do?
When a baby is born, it takes time for the child to get used to his parents and vice versa. We can say that there is a "grinding"... Days and weeks pass - the family forms its own way of life, its own regime. All, in general, are happy. And suddenly another growth spurt - and it seems that everything is returning to normal: you have to get to know and get used to each other from scratch.
It is important to remember that it is difficult for the child himself during this period. He especially needs the support of parents who are confident in their actions. Mom and Dad are not scared, not confused, but calm, still attentive and caring. So they make it clear to the baby: "Do not worry, we love you cheerful and sad, calm and not so much. Everything is in order. We are always ready to help."
Take note
A 3-month-old baby, who until now has slept almost all night, suddenly shows anxiety, requires motion sickness before bedtime, and often wakes up. A baby is not born with the ability to fall asleep on its own. And during this period, physiological stability is just established. How can this crisis be mitigated? Try to combine the methods of falling asleep from the birth of the baby: either at the chest, then in the arms, or in the stroller - so the child will not get used to just a certain "ritual".
Growth jumps in children under one year old. Calendar by week
Recall that of the "difficult" 2-5 weeks indicated in the calendar, it will be difficult with a baby sometimes only a couple of days, and sometimes one or several weeks.
The periods of leaps in the development of the child by month look like So:
| 1 | The newborn is experiencing the so-called "longing for the womb", he still hopes to return to a more familiar, comfortable world for him. On the other hand, he begins to demand more impressions: one kid wants to listen to various melodies, the other wants to look at pictures or objects, and the third yearns for long gentle strokes. The baby becomes a more active listener and observer, his gaze seems to brighten. Parents begin to better understand the "like" and "dislike" signals. The first smiles appear. |
| 2 | The baby wants to be with his mother - all the time. New discoveries generate interest - and stress at the same time. She is needed nearby - the closest, caring, dear. The kid begins to understand that he is and separately - the world. Examines its arms, legs, experiments with their "use". He wants to take a toy, but so far he can only hit it. His attention is attracted by more and more various objects: a doorbell, developing curtains, meowing of a cat, a lamp on, rustling leaves. Makes sounds, listens to himself. "Communicates" with toys. |
| 3 | The baby learns smooth transitions, his movements are no longer "inhibited" (for example, when he reaches for a toy). He feels that he can be controlled: body, voice, eyes, head. |
| 4 | This spike is characterized by mood swings. The child wakes up more often at night (although, perhaps, without tears), does not want to be alone in the room, requires undivided attention. Physical activity reaches a new level: the baby squeezes the toy, turns, shakes, tastes. The sounds get more complex too. |
| 5, 6 | Coordination of movements of arms, legs and body appears. The child makes the discovery that there are distances, distances and that he is in this huge space - only a crumb (albeit quite loud). He is frightened by the disappearance of his mother from the room. And even if the baby is already crawling, he is worried that his mother is moving faster. Shyness may appear in the presence of strangers or unfamiliar people. Some babies play with the nipple or pacifier more than they eat. Apathy sometimes attacks. The usual sounds disappear from the mouth. |
| 7, 8 | This is the time for serious research: for example, a baby can concentrately rub mashed potatoes between his fingers or carefully examine a bread crumb. Speech skills are actively developing. The baby often clings to mother's clothes. There is a sharp distinction between "friends" and "foes". The baby is jealous of her mother for everything, tries in every possible way to keep her near him: either by screaming and whining, or by pressing and kissing. Lethargy and indifference to the environment may appear. Many babies lose interest in food or have moods during feeding. |
| 10 | Throwing cravings are at their peak. The child grabs onto his mother, even if she does not go anywhere. Requires not just presence, but undivided attention. Possible:
|
| 12 | A one-year-old child is incredibly curious. Moreover, it is not your own toy that is interesting, but the neighbor's one. And how intriguing are the various objects in the hands of mom and dad! The toddler is able to break, break, ruin any thing that comes his way. And still pulls everything into his mouth. Now that the baby is moving on its own, parents should be extra vigilant! And great patience. The child wants to be independent, but not everything works out for him (for example, catching a ball). It causes irritation, screaming. The same reaction arises to prohibitions: "Don't touch! Don't run! Don't do that! Don't shout!" Remember: mom's emotions have a wonderful effect on baby's behavior. |
Summing up
Horse racing is characterized by suddenness- you can never guess when the crisis will begin, when it will end. After two or three exhausting days and nights, you suddenly see a sweet, smiling child in front of you. The kid plays independently, patiently waits for you while getting ready for a walk, eats with appetite, sleeps sweetly. And most importantly, he certainly acquires some new skill: he rolled over from his stomach onto his back, became more confident in holding a spoon, and suddenly crawled. Isn't this a reward for parents for hours of fatigue and even powerlessness?
There are many calendars of crises for children under one year old. Of course, it is possible and even necessary to get acquainted with such information, but you should not panic if the development of the baby has gone beyond the theory. Each child is completely different. And if the development of your baby does not cause any comments from the pediatrician and other doctors, relax and watch with pleasure the age-related changes of your child. Better yet, buy an album for recordings about the first months of life - your child will then be incredibly interested in reading about himself!
The Sacrament Confession is the main component of repentance.
This is an opportunity to ask for forgiveness for your sins, to be cleansed of them. Confession gives spiritual strength to resist evil. Sin is a discrepancy in thoughts, words, actions with God's will. Confession is a sincere awareness of wicked deeds, a desire to get rid of them. No matter how difficult and unpleasant it is to remember them, you should tell the clergyman in detail about your sins. For this sacrament, a complete interconnection of feelings and words is necessary, because the everyday enumeration of one's sins will not bring true cleansing. Feelings without words are as ineffectual as words without feelings. There is a list of sins for confession. This is a large list of all obscene actions or words. It is based on 7 deadly sins and 10 commandments. Human life is too varied to be absolutely righteous. Therefore, confession is an opportunity to repent of sins and try to prevent them in the future.
How to Prepare for Confession?
Preparation for confession should take place in a few days. You can write a list of sins on a piece of paper. You should read special literature about the sacraments of confession and communion. One should not seek excuses for sins; one should realize their wickedness. It is best to analyze your every day, sorting out what was good and what was bad. Such a daily habit will help to be more attentive to thoughts and actions. Before confession, one should make peace with everyone who has been offended. Forgive those who have offended. Before confession, it is necessary to strengthen the prayer rule. Add to the nightly reading the Penitential Canon, the canons of the Mother of God. It is necessary to separate personal repentance (when a person mentally repents of his actions) and the sacrament of confession (when a person talks about his sins in the desire to be cleansed of them). The presence of an outsider requires a moral effort to realize the depth of the offense, and through overcoming shame, it will make us look more deeply at the wrong actions. Therefore, a list of sins for confession in Orthodoxy is so necessary. It will help to reveal what was forgotten or wanted to hide. If you have any difficulties in compiling a list of sinful actions, you can purchase the book "Complete Confession". It is in every church shop. There is a detailed list of sins for confession, especially the sacrament. Samples of confession and materials for preparation for it have been published. Rules There is a heaviness on the soul, you want to speak out, ask for forgiveness? It becomes much easier after confession. This is an open, sincere confession and repentance for committed transgressions. You can go to confession up to 3 times a week. The desire to be cleansed of sins can help you overcome feelings of stiffness and awkwardness. The less frequent the confession, the more difficult it is to remember all events and thoughts. The best option for conducting the ordinance is once a month.
Help in confession - a list of sins - will suggest the necessary words.
The main thing is for the priest to understand the essence of the offense. Then the punishment for sin will be justified. After confession, the priest imposes penance in difficult cases. This is punishment, excommunication from the holy sacraments and God's grace. Its duration is determined by the priest. In most cases, the penitent is faced with moral and corrective labor. For example, fasting, reading prayers, canons, akathists. Sometimes the priest reads the list of sins for confession.
You can independently write a list of what has been done. It is better to come to confession after the evening service or in the morning before the liturgy. How the sacrament is carried out In some situations, you should invite the priest for confession at home. This is done if the person is seriously ill or is about to die. After entering the temple, you need to take a line for confession. During the entire time of the sacrament, the cross and the Gospel lie on the lectern. This symbolizes the invisible presence of the Savior. Before confession begins, the priest may start asking questions. For example, how often prayers are said, whether church rules are being followed. Then the sacrament begins. It is best to prepare your own list of sins for confession. A sample of it can always be purchased at the church. If the sins forgiven in the previous confession were repeated, then they should be mentioned again - this is considered a more serious offense. One should not hide anything from the priest or speak in hints. It is necessary to clearly explain in simple words those sins of which you repent.
If the priest tore up the list of sins for confession, then the sacrament is over and absolution has been given.
The priest puts the epitrachelion on the head of the penitent. This means the return of God's grace. After that, they kiss the cross, the Gospel, which symbolizes the willingness to live according to the commandments. Getting ready for confession: a list of sins Confession is intended to reflect on your sin, the desire to correct yourself. It is difficult for a person who is far from the church to understand what actions should be considered wicked. That is why there are 10 commandments. They clearly state what cannot be done. It is better to prepare a list of sins for confession according to the commandments in advance. On the day of the sacrament, you can get excited and forget everything. Therefore, you should calmly reread the commandments and write down your sins a few days before confession. If confession is the first, then it is not easy to independently understand the seven deadly sins and ten commandments. Therefore, you should go to the priest in advance, tell about your difficulties in a personal conversation. A list of sins for confession with an explanation of sins can be purchased at the church or found on the website of your temple. The transcript details all the alleged sins. From this general list, one should single out what was done personally.
Then write down your list of wrongdoings.
Sins committed against God Disbelief in God, doubts, ingratitude. Absence of a pectoral cross, unwillingness to defend the faith in front of detractors. Oaths in the name of God, pronouncing the name of the Lord in vain (not during prayer or conversations about God). Visiting sects, divination, treatment with all kinds of magic, reading and spreading false teachings. Gambling, suicidal thoughts, foul language. Failure to attend a temple, lack of a daily prayer rule. Failure to observe fasting, unwillingness to read Orthodox literature. Condemnation of clergymen, thoughts of worldly things during worship. A waste of time on entertainment, watching TV, inactivity at the computer. Despair in difficult situations, excessive reliance on oneself or someone else's help without faith in God's providence.Concealment of sins in confession. Sins committed against people close to you Hot temper, anger, arrogance, pride, vanity. Lies, non-interference, ridicule, stinginess, wastefulness. Raising children outside of faith. Failure to repay debts, failure to pay for labor, refusal to help those who ask and those in need. Unwillingness to help parents, disrespect for them. Theft, condemnation, envy. Quarrels, drinking at the commemoration. Murder by word (slander, driving to suicide or illness). Killing a child in the womb, persuading others to abortion. Sins committed against oneself Foul language, vanity, idle talk, gossip. Desire for profit, enrichment. Flaunting good deeds. Envy, lies, drunkenness, gluttony, drug use. Fornication, adultery, incest, masturbation.
List of sins for a woman's confession.
This is a very delicate list, and many women refuse to confess after reading it. Do not trust any information you read. Even if a brochure with a list of sins for a woman was purchased in a church shop, be sure to pay attention to the neck. There should be an inscription “Recommended by the Publishing Council of the Russian Orthodox Church”. The clergy do not divulge the secret of confession. Therefore, it is best to pass the sacrament with a permanent confessor. The Church does not intrude into the sphere of intimate marital relations. Contraception, which is sometimes equated with abortion, is best discussed with a priest. There are drugs that do not have an abortion effect, but only prevent the birth of life. In any case, all controversial issues should be discussed with your spouse, doctor, confessor.
Here is a list of sins for confession (short):
She rarely prayed, did not attend church.
I thought more about worldly things during prayer.
Allowed sex before marriage. Abortion, persuading others to do so. She had impure thoughts and desires.
I watched films, read books of pornographic content.
Gossip, lies, envy, laziness, resentment.
Excessive exposure of the body to attract attention.
Fear of old age, wrinkles, suicidal thoughts
Addiction to sweets, alcohol, drugs.
Avoiding helping other people.
Seeking help from fortune-tellers, sorcerers. Superstition.
List of sins for a man.
There is debate about whether to prepare a list of sins for confession. Someone believes that such a list is harmful to the sacrament and contributes to the formal reading of offenses. The main thing in confession is to realize your sins, repent and prevent their recurrence. Therefore, the list of sins may be a brief reminder or be absent altogether. Formal confession is not considered valid because there is no remorse in it. The return after the sacrament to the former life will add hypocrisy. The balance of spiritual life consists in understanding the essence of repentance, where confession is only the beginning of realizing one's sinfulness. It is a lengthy process with several stages of internal work. The creation of spiritual resources is a systematic adjustment of conscience, responsibility for one's relationship with God.
Here is a list of sins for confession (short) for a man:
Blasphemy, talking in the temple. Doubt about faith, afterlife. Blasphemy, mockery of the poor. Cruelty, laziness, pride, vanity, greed. Evasion of military service. Avoiding unwanted work, shirking duties. Insults, hatred, fights. Slander, disclosure of other people's weaknesses. Seduction to sin (fornication, drunkenness, drugs, gambling). Refusal to help parents, other people. Theft, aimless collecting. A tendency to boast, dispute, humiliation of one's neighbor. Impudence, rudeness, contempt, familiarity, cowardice.
Confession for a child
For a child, the sacrament of confession can be started from the age of seven. Until this age, children are allowed to take Communion without this. Parents should prepare the child for confession: explain the essence of the sacrament, tell what it is for, remember with him possible sins. The child must be made to understand that sincere repentance is preparation for confession. It is better for the child to write the list of sins himself. He must realize which actions were wrong, try not to repeat them in the future. Older children make their own decisions about whether to confess or not. You should not limit the free will of a child or teenager. The personal example of the parents is much more important than all the conversations. The kid must remember his sins before confession. A list of them can be made after the child answers the questions: How often does he read a prayer (in the morning, in the evening, before meals), which does he know by heart? Does he go to church, how does he behave in the service? Does he wear a pectoral cross, is he distracted or not during prayers and services? Have you ever deceived your parents or priest during confession? Was he not proud of his successes, victories, was he conceited? Does it fight or not with other children, does it offend kids or animals? Does she bully other children to shield herself? Did he commit theft, did he envy anyone? Did you laugh at other people's physical handicaps? Have you played cards (smoked, drank alcohol, tried drugs, swore foul language)? Lazy or helping parents around the house? Did he pretend to be sick in order to avoid his duties?
The person himself determines whether to confess to him or not, how many times to attend the sacrament. A list of sins for confession should be prepared. It is better to take a sample in the church where the sacrament will take place, or find it yourself in church literature. It is optimal to go to confession with the same priest, who will become a mentor, will contribute to spiritual growth. Confession is free of charge. First, you need to inquire on what days are confessions in the temple. Dress appropriately. For men, a shirt or T-shirt with sleeves, trousers or jeans (not shorts). For women - a headscarf, no makeup (at least lipstick), a skirt not higher than the knees. Sincerity of Confession A priest as a psychologist can recognize how sincere a person is in his repentance. There is a confession that offends the sacrament and the Lord. If a person mechanically talks about sins, has several confessors, hides the truth - such actions do not lead to repentance. Behavior, tone of speech, words used to pronounce confession - all this matters. Only in this way the priest understands how sincere the penitent is. The pangs of conscience, embarrassment, worries, shame contribute to spiritual cleansing. Sometimes the personality of a priest is important to a parishioner. This is not a reason to condemn and comment on the actions of the clergy. You can go to another church or turn to another holy father for confession. It can be difficult to voice your sins. The emotional experience is so strong that it is more convenient to make a list of unrighteous actions. Father is attentive to every parishioner. If because of shame it is impossible to tell about everything and repentance deeply, then the sins, the list of which has been compiled before confession, the priest has the right to forgive without even reading them.
The meaning of confession.
Having to talk about your sins in front of a stranger is embarrassing. Therefore, people refuse to go to confession, believing that God will forgive them anyway. This is the wrong approach. The priest acts only as a mediator between man and God. His task is to determine the measure of repentance. The father has no right to condemn anyone, he will not expel the repentant from the temple. At confession, people are very vulnerable, and priests try not to cause unnecessary suffering. It is important to see your sin, to realize and condemn it in your soul, to voice it before the priest. Have a desire not to repeat your wrongdoings, to try to atone for the harm done by deeds of mercy. Confession brings revival of the soul, re-education and access to a new spiritual level. Sins (list), Orthodoxy, confession imply self-knowledge and the search for grace. All good deeds are done through force. Only by overcoming oneself, engaging in deeds of mercy, by cultivating virtues in oneself, can one receive God's grace. The meaning of confession lies in understanding the typology of sinners, the typology of sin. At the same time, an individual approach to each repentant is akin to pastoral psychoanalysis. The sacrament of confession is pain from the realization of sin, recognition of it, determination to voice and ask for forgiveness for it, purification of the soul, joy and peace. The person must feel the need for repentance. Love for God, love for oneself, love for one's neighbor cannot exist separately. The symbolism of the Christian cross - horizontal (love for God) and vertical (love for oneself and one's neighbor) - consists in realizing the integrity of spiritual life, its essence.
compiled by: sexton Arseny Viktorovich Fomichev
Dear child, from the moment you were baptized, you entered into an amazing, interesting and blissful life. Your godparents fulfill a role much more important than even your parents, because they are accomplices of eternal life. They should always lead and educate you along the winding road of life, helping not only materially, but, most importantly, spiritually. Teach you the skill of necessary prayer, teach you how to go to church, and most importantly, teach you how to confess correctly and receive communion regularly. In this memo, I am the compiler, I just want to help you a little to understand the most important matter of your life - your spiritual life. To help you understand how it is more correct for you, dear child, to prepare for the sacraments of confession, communion, and say a few instructive words about the good deeds that you need to know and do in your life.
In this temporary life on earth, which prepares us for eternal, heavenly life, among other things, it is necessary, among other things, to be able not only to behave well, but if you did something bad, that is, sinned, then come to church as soon as possible, and tell the priest in confession about this sin, regretting it in his heart, and try not to commit this sin anymore. Whatever sin is bad, it must be told to the priest, only then the Lord will forgive and have mercy on your child's soul. If you hide any sin and do not tell about it in confession, know that you have committed an even worse act, because because of this your sin has become twice as serious as if you had done it twice! Also, during confession, they do not name the names of people who, in one way or another, were accomplices in your bad deed, that is, they sinned with you, in this case you can say this, for example: I told jokes with friends, played cards, gave my friends offensive nicknames and humiliated them. There is no need to name names, everyone should tell about their sins themselves. Also, you cannot make excuses and apologize for your sins in confession: for example: you cannot say that I called my friend bad words, because he made me angry, pushing and mocking me, but in this case you need to tell the priest like this: I called my friend bad words ... Everything! Exactly! And don't make excuses for yourself! At confession, we enumerate sins and sincerely repent of them, but we do not come to the priest to justify ourselves or somehow excuse ourselves, this should not be done! It is not right! An approximate list of sins is given below, with the help of it, it will be easier for you, dear child, to remember the sins you have committed, and it is best to write them down on a piece of paper that must be given to the priest in confession. Preparing only for confession, fasting, that is, not eating the food of the animal world, is not necessary (if the day of confession is not fast).
They say or fast when they want to both confess and receive communion. To do this, read morning and evening prayers, a short children's rule for Holy Communion, on the eve of the evening, before the sacrament day, you cannot eat after 12 o'clock in the morning! It is necessary to fast 3-4 days before communion. Eat at this time honey, nuts, fruits and vegetables, mushrooms and other plant foods, but do not overeat, this is also a sin. Otherwise, you can burst! Everything in this life should be in moderation! It is also necessary to ask for forgiveness from everyone whom you have offended, without this you cannot confess, you cannot not receive communion! Otherwise, you will receive communion in judgment and condemnation of yourself! And this is scary! Always ask for forgiveness if you are guilty of anything!
Here is a small list of sins by which you can check your conscience and write down on a piece of paper what applies to you.
A small list of possible childhood sins: part 1.
Did not read morning and evening prayers, as well as prayers before / after meals.
He received communion unprepared and, not trying to remember in advance about his sins, he went to confession (like from a ship to a ball).
Rarely confessed
Rarely received communion
He hid his sins from the priest in confession,
Without confessing to the priest, he dared to take holy communion,
Absentmindedly, inattentively prayed,
I did not try to learn, for the beginning of my spiritual life, even the very first prayers for my age: for example: such as: Our Father ..., We thank Thee, Christ our God, and others.
I disobeyed my parents, teachers and my elders in general,
He was proud, considered himself better, smarter, (more beautiful) than others,
He fought with children, pushed around, spat on children and called names, gave people nicknames, teased someone and made fun of his neighbors,
I didn’t teach my homework, I didn’t help my relatives in household and garden chores,
Played cards
Computer addiction,
Didn't go (on duty) to the temple,
Was late for church services on Sundays and other days,
Without a good reason, did not go (maybe often) to Sunday liturgy,
Being old enough, he never confessed or received communion,
I watched sinful things on TV or a computer (on the Internet), in books, magazines, read sinful literature, maybe even contrary to the Orthodox faith,
He condemned the neighbors (the departed),
I borrowed from someone and did not give it back,
He made a godly promise and did not fulfill,
I watched TV or listened to music on fasting days, holidays and Sundays and amused myself in every possible way (for example: went to the cinema on Wednesdays and Fridays),
He pasted various stickers on his body or wrote something on it, made tattoos (our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and, like our soul, we must be treated in an appropriate, respectful way, the body of a Christian is not a place for entertainment).
He spoke empty, unnecessary. (The Spirit of God is not driven away from us so much as by empty idle talk - say the holy fathers of the church),
If you are an elder, you have not taught your younger brothers and sisters to everything spiritual: to pray to God, to go to church, to teach good deeds.
I have not read the Gospel, and in other church books (first of all: Lives of the Saints, for this is a book for beginners) did not learn divine wisdom.
Not reverence, insults, or resentment against your godfather father (or godmother's mother). This sin is harder than offending his carnal parents, because, for example: for a boy, his father godfather before God is much more important and more important than his own father; for a girl - respectively),
He took food and other things without demand, stole toys from children,
Betrayed someone
He did not have compassion and mercy for his neighbors, for example: he was lazy to feed his sick little (or big brother), who was very weak and could not get out of bed (or maybe with a high temperature),
Tried to paint icons or treated them casually,
I did not light the lamp before the beginning of my childhood prayers,
He did not accustom himself to an Orthodox Christian life, but lived as he liked, not in a divine way (for example: he staggered around until 12 at night with friends),
Kuril (who smokes - he offers incense to the devil himself, say the holy fathers of the church).
Any sin, if it was committed in the presence of a neighbor, and even more so if he persuaded or showed his neighbor a sinful example, then for each of those seduced into sin - the soul of that person will have a double sin. The more spiritually experienced and savvy a person is, the harder each individual sin will be for his soul, because the more you know the spiritual, the greater the demand from you by God himself!
… A continuation of the list of childhood sins in the next part.
Penalty in no way should be feared: it is not a punishment, but only serves as a means of healing the wounds inflicted on a person by this or that sin, a means of fighting the passions rooted through long skill. A prudent priest always follows the most important medical principle - "do no harm", and does not impose on the repentant a burden that is excessively heavy and uncomfortable. There are, however, cases when young priests or simply “burning with jealousy beyond reason” try to remove a speck from the eye of another person by hitting it with a log (see: Matt. 7 , 4-5). That is, they give him an unbearable prayer or fasting rule, or they excommunicate him from Communion for too long, so that the repentant by the evil intent of Satan is swallowed up with excessive sorrow, which the Apostle Paul himself feared in his time, first taking care of the correction, and then of consolation of one of the members of the church community, who fell into a terrible, even at that time, unnatural sin. If something like this (that is, a meeting with a priest who is not very experienced and careful) happened, then it is necessary to turn to a confessor, both experienced and skillful, who has a good testimony from both believers and from his fellows, in order to ask him for advice and guidance. ...In general, penance is usually understood either as a certain prayer rule, or a feat that is feasible - bows, fasting, or a temporary excommunication from the Sacrament. But let us repeat once again: the main principle of the prescribed penance is that it should not serve the cause of destruction, but the cause of the creation of the Christian's soul, should not hurt, but heal. Of course, for a person with sensitive pride and a relatively light penance can be a difficult test, but if he puts up with it, it will certainly benefit him.
At what age should children confess before the Sacrament? How to teach a child to confess?
It is generally accepted that for the first time a child should confess before the Sacrament at the age of seven. This is the best rule to follow. With a certain proviso: there are children who, even at the age of six, have such a clear consciousness and mental development that they can truly seriously and thoughtfully confess, and there are also those who, at the age of eight, do not at all understand what their parents want from them, when brought to the analogue with the Cross and the Gospel. And it is quite reasonable to allow some to confess a little earlier, and not to demand from others what they are not yet ready for, since formalism in spiritual life is unacceptable and can do great harm, raising a true Pharisee in a Christian from a young age.
Teaching a person to confess is not easy. Not only children, but also quite adult parishioners do not know how to confess. And parents make a huge mistake when they demand that their children confess according to some - formal - list of questions. All the more unacceptable is such an ugly practice when dad and mom "dictate" his confession to the child and he repeats it over and over again, word for word, like a worn-out record, without even bothering to understand what this or that sin he named means.
It is much more important to teach not to confess, but to live according to conscience, and to teach not with a sore admonition, but with your own, vivid and beautiful example. When the conscience is alive, strong, it acutely feels every untruth we have committed, and this feeling gives rise to genuine repentance - deep, sincere, coupled with hatred of sin and a desire to get rid of sin and not allow it anymore. This applies equally to the confession of both children and adults.
How to Confess Fleshly Sins? Is it possible, if you are very shy, just write it down and show it to the priest?
The Holy Fathers teach that one should not confess fleshly sins in detail and in detail (as well as prodigal thoughts). Firstly, such attention to detail can renew in the soul of the confessing person the memory of the experienced falls and temptations, and secondly, it will be not harmless for the priest receiving confession, if only he is not passionless. However, one should always speak about sin in such a way that it is clear what its essence is, so that the sin is not diminished or exaggerated. In some cases, in order to overcome shame, it is really necessary to write down sins on a piece of paper and give it to the priest to read. Similar examples can be found in some of the lives of the saints, in particular, in the life of St. Basil the Great, to whom came a woman whose sins were so shameful (or she herself was so sensitive) that she could not manage to pronounce them aloud, why did she entrusted them to paper. But it is still better for the sake of humility to force oneself and say sin as it is on its own.
I read that it was revealed to some person how during confession every sin in the form of a serpent comes out of the mouth of a repentant when it is pronounced. But how, then, does this serpent come out, if often the priest reads to himself the sins of the repentant from a piece of paper?
It must be remembered that in all such revelations what people saw was only an image of what was happening in the spiritual realm. And in no case should one treat the Sacrament so “materialistically”. "Coming out of the mouth of the serpent" is an image of the repentant revealing his sin in repentance, revealing it before God and before the priest. And there is no decisive difference how exactly this happens - through verbal announcement or through writing on paper. Although, as mentioned above, it is still better to courageously pronounce sins yourself, while enduring healing pain and shame.
How should you conduct yourself on the day of the Sacrament? Is it true that you cannot brush your teeth on this day?
Not only on the day of Communion, but also on every day of his life, a Christian must remember that every moment he is before the gaze of the All-Seeing God. There is nothing - neither in his external actions, nor in the innermostness of his soul - that would not be known to the Lord and at the same time would not be significant for Him, for everything that concerns a person, concerns, as it is strikingly strongly said in the prayer of the Monk Seraphim Vyritsky , the apple of God's eye.
But the day of Communion is still special, it is the day of the closest union with Christ, when we receive Him into ourselves in His Most Pure Mysteries and have “living and abiding” in us. Accordingly, and especially attentive to ourselves, we must be before and after Communion, especially be careful not to anger the Lord with our deeds, words and thoughts and not lose too soon the Gift that He taught us in this greatest Sacrament.
The question of brushing your teeth, as well as others from this series - whether it is possible to eat fish, spit out cherry pits, etc. - is hardly the most essential. Although for the sake of reverence and some natural precaution, you can refrain from all such actions. Remembering, however, that after Communion, we deliberately took a drink and a piece of prosphora or artos, and not giving in to panic, if suddenly in the evening, out of absent-mindedness, we nevertheless brushed our teeth before going to bed.
Hello! Yesterday I gave communion to my son (he is 3.5 years old). Before that, the child was sick (stomach problems), I specifically wanted to give him Holy Communion so that he recovered faster. I give him Holy Communion regularly. He withstood almost the entire service, received Holy Communion, drank a drink. But when they were listening to the sermon, he choked (chewed the prosphora) and vomited. They wiped it all off with a rag and took it away to burn it. But I didn’t realize that the clothes had to be burned too, so I washed them. Do I need to do something with these clothes now? What to do to prevent such cases from happening again?
I think that this incident should definitely be mentioned in confession. Should we bring clothes to the temple for burning? - Now, after you washed it, it probably is no longer necessary. From your story, it can be understood that the child vomited simply because he choked on prosphora. If so, then it is not your fault and you can look to the future, perhaps, only so that the piece of prosphora is not too large. If he vomited due to a stomach ailment, then, of course, it would be prudent to wait first until he recovered completely, and only then lead him to Communion. It is possible that you could have erred in treating the Sacrament too “utilitarian”: “so that you would recover faster,” and therefore the Lord allowed the temptation. However, this is just my guess.
What if a child is naughty before Communion? Should I give him Holy Communion or bring him on another day?
It would be wiser to look at the condition of the child. Try to calm them down and, if this succeeds, then still give the Holy Communion. Only take the necessary precautions at the same time: hold the arms, legs, head tightly and even ask someone to help with this. If the child literally starts screaming and does not calm down in any way, so there is a risk of pushing the Chalice, then it is better to postpone Communion until another day. But, of course, after coming home, you need to understand yourself - after all, most often this behavior of a child during Communion is connected not so much with his well-being, but with the life of his parents. It is always commendable for the desire of a father and mother to give their son or daughter communion more often, but it is no less necessary to regularly confess and receive communion with them themselves.
Up to what age is it allowed to feed a baby before Communion?
Until the moment when he can objectively do without this meal.
Can a layman partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ for several days in a row without confessing (for example, on Sunday he confessed, from Sunday to Saturday I daily commune without confession, just reading the rule)?
Although in our days enough is said and written (and quite, presumably, fairly) about the need for more frequent Communion, everything should have a reasonable measure. If you avoid extremes and take into account the advice of many experienced confessors, then you can recommend communion once every one to two or three weeks - depending on the spiritual zeal and purity of the life of a particular person, as well as on the opinion of the priest to whom he confesses. More frequent Communion is possible in cases when several major church holidays "occur", or on Holy Week of Great Lent, or under some special circumstances in a person's life (serious illness, unbearable grief, etc.), but only after the advice and blessing of the priest. In such cases, it is really possible to confess once, and in the following days, if no major sins have happened, to commune without confession.
If I want to receive communion at a night (Christmas or Easter) service, then from what time should I abstain from food and water?
There is no single norm on this score, but it is "traditionally" accepted on the eve of such days to eat no later than seven or eight o'clock in the evening. If possible, it is better to practice abstinence and have your last meal even earlier - in the afternoon. But here everyone must correctly calculate their strength, so that if after the night service, breaking the fast in the refectory of the church is not provided, not to exhaustion and harm your health.
This refers to the text that is considered the spiritual testament of St. Seraphim Vyritsky "It Was From Me". It is composed as a conversation between God and the soul of man: “Have you ever thought that everything that concerns you concerns Me too? For that which touches you touches the apple of my eye. " Cit. by: It was from Me. M .: Danilov Monastery. 2007. - Ed.