How to awaken love. Proven ways to awaken tender feelings for your spouse

Hello dear readers! Do you remember those feelings when your partner was not yet your husband at all? When it all just began, you literally floated, elated in love. The future spouse seemed like a revived embodiment of the ideal man - you did not find a single flaw in him, even under a microscope. You counted the minutes goodbye, and at the sight of your beloved, millions of butterflies began to flutter in your stomach. Those were wonderful times! ..

What happened next? Where did that feeling of delight from the meeting with your beloved that overwhelmed you? It seems that love was dispelled a long time ago, and maybe it did not exist at all. And now you are looking at your man with bewilderment - is it really he who once caused all those tender feelings that were spinning your head?

Unfortunately, falling in love is short-lived. A year, two, maximum - three passes, and not a trace remains of it. But this does not mean at all that you are no longer destined to experience the romantic charm that marked the beginning of your union. For those who do not know how to fall in love with their husband again, but really want it, the advice of a psychologist will help. You will learn how to refresh relationships and add long-forgotten emotions to them.

Why falling in love is short-lived

Unfortunately, the hormonal storm is short-lived. How long it will last depends on the characteristics of your body, which produces hormones of happiness, as well as on external circumstances. Daily stress, emotional stress, everyday problems, difficulties at work - all this gradually replaces the euphoria of falling in love. Often feelings cool down after childbirth - the woman transfers all the love and tenderness to the baby, and the husband remains out of work.

As a result, spouses often move away from each other, begin to notice each other's shortcomings, and quarrels and quarrels arise between them. Or, as an option, they continue to live peacefully side by side, but already without those romantic feelings that were at the beginning of the relationship.

Many are quite satisfied with a calm existence without vivid emotions. But over time, life turns into a monotonous Groundhog Day. You know in advance how you will spend the evening after work, where you will go on the weekend or on vacation, what your spouse will say and how you will behave in a given situation. And sometimes you really want romance, unexpected actions of your beloved, surprises and impressions.

Someone finds all this on the side. But - this is a dubious and risky pleasure. Both after yours and after his betrayal, it is very difficult to regain trust in each other. You can also go through romantic adventures and experience the whole range of positive emotions with your own husband. All that is needed for this is to fall in love with him, like the first time.

10 ways to fall in love with your husband again

Some believe that falling in love with your own husband a second time will not work. After all, you already know this guy as flaky. You are familiar with all his shortcomings, you personally know every cockroach living in his head - how can you convince yourself again that this man is perfect? In fact, there are several ways to awaken tender feelings that have fallen asleep.

Start with yourself

“Now, if my husband changed one, the second and the third in himself, then I would be able to fall in love with him again” - this is how many ladies argue. Do you also think that it's all about your spouse? What if I told you that first you have to change yourself? An unexpected twist, agree.

The point is, your husband has likely changed little since you first met. You just look at him differently now. Try to look at your partner not through the usual prism of fatigue and irritation, but as if you just met yesterday. Of course, this will not be easy, and for this you will have to radically change your attitude.

If you always have a scandal when your husband is late after work, try to greet him this time, feed him dinner, and ask how his day went. It may turn out that your spouse was late not at all because he did not want to see you, but because at work he was rushed and the boss insisted that he urgently finish work on the project.

Agree, there is a difference - you yell at your tired husband at work, or listen carefully and support with warm words. Become, make it a rule never to start a conversation with accusations and raised voices, always be able to listen to your spouse and understand his motives. Very soon you will see that you have begun to treat your husband in a completely different way.

I love you

Remember a simple exercise that is often recommended to cheer yourself up? You need to smile, even if through force, and walk like that for a while. And miracles - very soon the brain will perceive a fake smile as a real one and will begin to produce hormones of happiness.

The same principle works here. Even if you are not experiencing passionate love at the moment, start talking about it. Repeat this to your husband as often as possible, tell your friends - your brain will tune in to falling in love and start the synthesis of dopamine and endorphin. Yes, the very hormones that make lovers dizzy.

Following in the footsteps of your meetings

Surely your memory keeps touching memories of the day you met, your first date, romantic walks and other cute events. It's time to relive those moments again.

Arrange an excursion into the past - take a walk through the places where you used to be together, remember the events in all details, try to re-feel those tender feelings that you once experienced. Happened? Record this state and try to induce it every time you are with your husband.

Mister perfection

Once upon a time, this is how you saw your spouse. But over time, they managed to discern in the beloved the shortcomings that overshadowed his positive features. Now you need to do the same, but in reverse order.

Take a piece of paper and write down all the positive qualities of your husband on it. Write everything in a row: from global - kind, strong, courageous, to such at first insignificant as a cute dimple on the chin. You will find that there are dozens of reasons to fall in love with your spouse again.

Let's talk

Of course, you are still talking with your husband. But how do you do it? If at the moment all your conversations are about everyday issues, try changing your strategy. Start talking about your thoughts and feelings, and don't be afraid to voice your emotions. Ask your spouse what he thinks and feels at certain times. So you will become closer and, possibly, get to know each other again.

Towards adventure

Strong emotions experienced together bring people closer together. And if so, arrange an adventure for two that will pull you out of the monotony of everyday life and give you new vivid impressions. What it will be, you decide. Ideal if extreme moments await you - bursts of adrenaline will add pungency and piquancy to your senses. Kayaking, skydiving, diving or off-road quad biking guarantee maximum emotions.

The main thing is not to overdo it. Not every man is a winning hero by nature. It is possible that your partner feels uncomfortable in extreme situations and, instead of enjoying themselves, will count the minutes until they return home. Naturally, in such conditions, there can be no talk of any rapprochement.

But that doesn't mean you have to forget about adventure forever. Just take the less risky options. For example, take a short hike with a campfire overnight. Nature, the sky strewn with stars, crackling flames and quiet conversation or songs with a guitar - you must agree, sounds very romantic.

The two of us

Remember the last time you and your spouse spent a vacation or at least a weekend together? And this means not just together, but only together - without friends, without relatives, without children. So long ago that you can't remember right away? So it's time to have a romantic getaway. Rent a room in a country hotel for the weekend, turn off your phones and enjoy each other's company.

As a last resort, send the children to stay with their grandmother, while you yourself retire at home. Wine, candles, rose petals - the appropriate entourage will fill even your familiar interior with romanticism. Just do not give in to the temptation to arrange a general cleaning or re-glue the wallpaper in the absence of the offspring. This time is just for the two of you.

Let's talk about sex

Laudatory odes

Of course, you won't have to sing praises, but you really need to praise your husband in a timely manner. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we forget about such simple things as compliments and just kind words. But they are extremely important for your relationship, and for adequate self-esteem.

Imagine that your spouse is trying very hard to do something nice for you. But you, wrapped in everyday life, do not pay attention to this or thank you sparingly, without focusing special attention on his deed. By ignoring his attempts several times, you simply discourage him from doing something for you. And then you accuse that he will never take the initiative and will not do anything without your direction.

Start praising your husband for every little effort he makes for you. Even if at first it will be a banal tea with a sandwich. And you will see with what pleasure he will try to do something else to please you. And when your spouse surrounds you with attention and care, it will be difficult not to fall in love with him, like the first time.

The land is empty without you ...

This is a radical but very powerful method. I recommend using it even in advanced cases, when it seems that feelings for a partner have died completely and nothing else will ever revive them.

Remove anything that might distract you, focus and imagine that your husband is no longer there. No matter where he went, the important thing is that you can't bring him back. How did you feel now? If you absolutely don't care, then your relationship is really in a critical state. You may have to seek help from a specialist - it is very difficult on your own.

Fortunately, these edge cases are rare. Most likely, this exercise will awaken in you those feelings that have fallen asleep over the years. You will understand that your husband is still dear to you, waves of tenderness will rise in your soul, you will want to approach your spouse, hug him and say how much you love him.

As you can see, falling in love with your own husband is quite a feasible task. After all, you have already done this once. And if so, since you have chosen this particular man from thousands of possible candidates, it means that he is worthy of your love. Of course, you have to work hard, but agree - a happy relationship is worth it!

Do you want your husband to show reciprocal feelings too? Then be sure to read the book by L. Gomelskaya “ Make him fall in love”. This is a collection of proven counseling tips to help you reignite your passion.

What do you think, is it possible, and most importantly, is it necessary to fall in love with your spouse a second time? Or maybe it makes more sense to spend the effort to switch to a relationship? Write your opinion in the comments.

Today there is a great demand for recommendations for building a harmonious relationship between a man and a woman. This can be easily tracked by the number of books published on the topic, the number of growing family psychologists who are trying to help build ideal relationships for married couples. And how many women's and men's magazines are full of advice on how to awaken the feelings of a partner, how to awaken passion in a man?

And there are those who advise not to bother and go to a free relationship, leaving attempts to understand how to awaken feelings in a man.

The essence of free relationships is shown in the anecdote:

- Lieutenant, yesterday you slept with me, and today you don't even want to say hello!

- Madam, bed is not a reason for dating.

This phenomenon (free relationship) is shown in detail in my previous post -

In this post I would like to cover another topic - Male love... To understand, is a man capable of love at all? How to awaken feelings in a man? Or is love a "privilege" of only the female half?

So who is capable of love?

Unfortunately, we have a confusion in words and if one person says: "Love", another can put a completely different meaning into this concept. Someone means mutual understanding by love, and someone generally believes that love is a sexual attraction. The psychology of love and sex is a separate topic, but for now ... in we say that people with a visual vector are capable of love. Is there a visual vector in women - yes! Does it occur in men, oddly enough, but also - yes!

People with a visual vector are very easy to notice, because they are created to be noticeable, moreover, they do everything to attract attention to themselves, that is, to be noticed.

For a long time, the visual vector was the "prerogative" of women, and visual men, for certain reasons, were extremely rare. Now the time has come when men with a visual vector can be found very often, and therefore it seems that men began to show themselves very visually ... Some people describe this phenomenon as follows: "Men are fucked up!"

Have men become more feminine?

The universe evolves and develops, nothing moves back. Only forward! For development, for complication. Some stages have already been worked out by humanity, and we already need other ways to realize and express ourselves in society. No one is almost engaged in hard physical labor, and male strength has ceased to be an absolute value. Today, the most paid work is intellectual, and women increasingly prefer gentle and sensual men. And those who do not get such, wonder how to wake up the husband to show feelings.

For a very long time, the visual vector was worked out by a skin-visual woman, who to this day flashes from all screens. But she has already reached the peak of her development and the time has come when society needs a man with a developed visual vector.

The visual vector is the only vector that has not been worked out by a man.

Men with a visual vector are most often people of art: architects, artists, fashion designers, photographers, actors, as well as doctors.

What are the problems of Russian men with feelings?

Due to the Russian mentality, we value such qualities as muscle strength and handiness. Women say: "What kind of man is this who cannot hammer a nail into the wall or fix a tap?" And the manifestation of feelings from the male half seems to be complete savagery. After all, the folder taught us from childhood: “Why are you drooling, like a girl, worse than a woman. Well, wipe the snot. Be a man!". And we gradually "understand" what a real man should be. And we don't think about how to wake up a guy for love.

Unfortunately, this leads to the fact that a teenager with a visual vector, who is given the opportunity to experience love with the right upbringing, cannot fully develop, remains in fears, phobias, suffers from panic attacks and other emotional disorders.

In addition, we do not have so many circles where it would really be possible to develop the visual vector ... Even in art and acting circles, one cannot get much development. And there are not enough circles for all.

So how can a man unleash all the potential of feelings that he is capable of? How to wake up your husband for love?

You can, of course, send him to a theater group or somewhere else, where he will develop his properties through demonstrativeness, but the best thing is realization through compassion.

How can I do that? How to wake up a guy to show feelings?

People with a visual vector are designed in such a way that they constantly create emotional connections with others. In childhood, we create emotional connections with teddy bears and dolls, plants, with pets, if any, and then with people, although some spectators devote their whole lives to animals, depriving themselves of the most complete emotional experiences. So, in order to use all the resources of visual empathy, it is best to create emotional connections with people with disabilities.

For example, this could be elderly people in a nursing home. Or children who are undergoing a rehabilitation period in a hospital, where the help of volunteers is needed.

Why should you do this?

By creating an emotional connection in this way, we "rule out the mistake" beforehand to go in the wrong direction. We will not receive anything in return from such people, they will not delight us with some gifts, successes, that is, we act only using the property of the visual vector - compassion, we put ourselves in a situation where, willy-nilly, we begin to invest in a person, without getting anything in return. And gradually, we fully realize our visual vector, filled with love.

In this case, we get both getting rid of excessive tearfulness, fears, hysterics, if any, and the highest realization for the visual vector. Plus, we get rid of some unfortunate manifestations of the visual vector when we try to create an emotional connection where it is not appropriate.

A person fully realized in the visual vector, like no one else, knows how to love and give his feelings to a partner.

PS Be happy and give love to each other!

Life is a PLEASURE from the creative process in the course of realizing your most cherished desires!

When life is lived and the results are achieved, the man always turns back and looks: what was his path... Therefore, it is necessary to be able to evoke pleasant emotions in people.

A man does not love a specific woman, he loves his state next to her.

The woman is responsible for attracting men into her life. And for the choice - which man she will choose.

You need to choose so that you accept it as it is and not remake it, for this you need to initially recognize the values ​​on dates. A woman does not take steps by herself, she creates an environment to be chosen.

In order to create such a pleasant environment around him, it is necessary, in response to which a man recalls the most touching moments in his life, and at this moment he experiences happiness. And he falls in love with a woman who causes such emotions in him!

How to evoke sincere pleasant emotions in a man on your dates?

[You can watch a 10-minute video version of the article, or read its text version below the video]

First you need to remember the rule of first dates.

I am constantly focusing on this rule:

On a date, he says more !!! But at the same time, it is you who set the topic, listen to him with interest, and in no way criticize or ridicule him during the conversation !!! He should feel - that now he is for you - the whole Universe!

Believe me, men love to talk about themselves. And they really appreciate such women who listen to their companion with genuine interest. And if you listen diligently, you will inspire a man to have even more honest conversations.

It's also important to know the zest of first dates.

They are needed so that your partner is always looking forward to meeting you. So that he looks forward to seeing you.

1. You need to leave first, alone, to your home and no continuation at anyone's home,

2. First dates should last about 1.5 hours. You need to leave in the midst of your meeting, when you both feel very good and have fun - this creates the effect of Cinderella, when a man has a great desire to definitely see you again and look forward to meeting you.

3. Dating is not fun on your part, but a serious selection for the position of your beloved husband, so before the date you need to make a list of 5-7 questions that need to be answered. Write these questions down in a notebook so that you can refresh your memory later on the date. What questions to ask - we will discuss soon.

4. The sequence of questions should be as follows: first you ask about the past - then about plans for the future - and only then move on to the present. Because people are more willing to talk about the past and the future, about what happened and about their dreams, and in order to talk about the present, you need to get closer.

5. For a man, the word LOVE is equal to the word INCLUDE ... emotions, time spent with you, money. It is not worth promoting men for money, it is not environmentally friendly!

It is better to generate warm feelings and violent emotions in him, and this is done precisely with the help of the ability to ask the right questions and thereby evoke the necessary feelings in a man. We considered in detail the questions that need to be asked to a man on the first 7 dates in.

Specific examples - how to evoke pleasant emotions

First example.

Ask your man what he has the most memorable moments in his life. Maybe he went in for skiing and he has medals, certificates, notes about him in the newspapers. Maybe he was named the best employee of the year at his job. Or something else ESPECIALLY important for him!

Look, when it comes to childhood or important achievements, any person has very warm memories at the same time, he begins to experience them again, and at this moment he experiences happiness.

Moreover, when a person is happy, he will associate this happiness with you, because it was you who made him experience this happiness again, even though you just asked the right question.

Example two.

Another of the most important questions for a man on a first date:

What is special about you that makes you different from other men?

And here ATTENTION !!!

Remember all the details - this is what is most important for him in himself !!! It is these qualities of him that you, as a true woman, will constantly admire now !!!)

After all, you know that for a man your female praise and admiration is the most important fuel in life for a man. This is one of the main

P.S. However, do not forget that you must do it with genuine sincerity and desire. Any lie will be felt subconsciously by your companion.

P.P.S. Write in the comments what is the most important insight you got after reading this article. Thank you for your sincerity!

Once upon a time it was him that you singled out from the crowd of admirers and suitors. And now she suddenly began to notice that he was behaving somehow wrong, he was laughing too loudly, and in general he was wearing socks of the wrong color.

You know, the thing is that you just got enough of it, but for the rest of the girls, he is still the same one that you met two years ago. Just imagine for a minute that he is not yours. That you can't come up now and hug him ... Do you feel the ache in your chest from jealousy and pain?

Stop focusing on flaws

In the early years of a relationship, we see everything in pink. Over time, the colors thicken. And we suddenly suddenly begin to change our opinion about the habits and hobbies of our beloved. Recently you watched football together, and now that you have started living together, you are annoyed by all these battles on the field. After all, there are so many chores around the house, and he is lying on the couch!

In fact, he hasn't changed. You have changed, you have other concerns: cleaning, washing, taking care of children. Tell him that a walk with a child is more important than a friendly match between Panama and Honduras. Or just turn off the bitch and sit down, watch the game with him. Like the good old days.

Change the setting

It is not necessary to travel together. You can go on a trip with children. But so that none of my friends, relatives, good acquaintances were around. It works because in an unfamiliar area, among unfamiliar foreign citizens, you begin to feel even more keenly as one. A real family. Add to this new impressions and discoveries, the memories of which will remain with you forever.

Arrange romantic dates

Over time, romance disappears from the relationship. Flowers become an attribute on March 8 or Birthday. Going to the movies is being replaced by watching TV. Why go to a cafe at all? Spend money! You can also take out a shirt and iron it ... But you need to get it out and iron it. Because going to a cafe is not just a desire to eat delicious food. This is going out. Paired! And you need to buy candles home, but not in case of a power failure. And in the form of hearts, with a vanilla smell. And light them for no reason ... So that by the end of the evening your eyes burn brighter than their flame.

Give him the opportunity to open up

At home, your husband only eats, sleeps and plays computer games? And you have already begun to perceive it as just an invariable attribute of the interior? Look for common interests urgently! Sign up for a dance school, go to exhibitions and theaters, go kart or swim in the pool. Share his passion and he will be happy to share yours!

Say only good things about him

You began to notice that he pays less attention to you. You were offended and complained to your friends. They understood, appreciated and happily supported the story of how bad he is. And now, at every opportunity, they remind you of this. And now you yourself begin to believe in what you once uttered in your hearts.

Whatever happens between you, do not wash your dirty linen in public. Tell only good things. This will relieve you of unnecessary negative emotions.

Swap roles

We often think that we have fallen out of love when we stop understanding each other. Try to look at the situation through his eyes all day. Reason like him. Do as he does. And ask him to behave as you usually behave. This mirroring will solve many problems. You will see a lot of new and interesting things in your behavior. He will find mistakes in his. And in the evening you just laugh at all this and understand that the feelings have not gone anywhere.