My boyfriend is lying to me what to do. He takes his phone with him when he goes to the bathroom. Lies - a method of self-defense
August 16, 2015
There is hardly a person in the world who has not cheated. Think of yourself or your friends who, after being late for school, came up with a thousand reasons and excuses. Or your parents, to whom you told that you were out with friends, but in fact it was a boyfriend. Yes indeed everyone lied. But what about the fact that a loved one deceived you? It is to this question that we will give the answer.
It really depends on the situation. There are situations when a guy is hard to judge for a lie. Let's say he went to the store to choose a gift for you, and you call. As a result, in order for the surprise to remain a surprise, he has to lie. A pregnant wife often asks her husband if she is beautiful. And a loving husband, despite all the sizes that spoil the figure of his beloved, says that there is no change and she is beautiful as before. But all this is deception. However, for some reason we perceive it well. What's the secret? First, let's figure out what does the word "lie" mean?
A lie is a statement that does not correspond to the truth and is deliberately expressed in this form.
That is, if a person deceives and does not realize his guilt, then it turns out that he is not lying.
Yes, I agree that men lie more than women. And it's not good to lie. But by his masculine nature, a guy can resort to it. For example, in Buddhism there are 3 holy lies that can be used according to their religion:
1. To preserve the family
2. To maintain friendship
3. To keep the peace
And in principle, it’s hard to disagree. We even have such a concept - a lie for the good. But all the same, it is better not to go to the point of lying. Because this is fog and the more a person lies, the more he sinks into it. And over time, he himself no longer knows where the truth is and where it is not.
And so now, understanding what a lie is and that everything depends on the situation, let's move on to solving our problem. The reason that a man is lying is always the fear of responding for his act and being punished. Indeed, the guy is often afraid to take part in another scandal, so he decides to cheat. Most likely, he cannot overcome some negative qualities that you do not like about him and tries to keep silent about them. This leads to insincerity and closeness of the person. Therefore, if you cannot put up with a lie, then you need to fight it.
Consider the instruction for wise girls on what to do if a guy cheated:
1. Analyze what the lie is and how it can be caused. If, for example, a guy smokes, but told you that he does not smoke. Then most likely he cannot overcome addiction and tries not to upset you. Also, for example, you are waiting for a guy at home, and he said that he was late from work. In fact, he was dating a friend. That lie is caused by the fact that the guy is afraid to admit it to you, since you will scold him. And here the reason is excessive freedom of action on his part or on your part of depriving him of time to communicate with a friend.
2. Make decisions for yourself. You must understand what outcome would be acceptable for you. But do not forget that in a relationship, the main skill is to find compromises. That is, the solution should suit two. For example, he made time for a friend, but you don’t. Then you should invite your loved one to meet all three and spend an interesting time together. Or reconsider your relationship and give your chosen one more free time. Thus, you will also get free time that you can spend on your hobbies.
3. Straight Talk. Since you have made decisions for yourself, you can start the conversation itself. In this conversation, confidently and decisively tell your loved one that you have recorded a lie on his part. Explain exactly what the lie itself is. In the course of the conversation, try to confirm your words with facts so that the guy does not have the opportunity to manipulate and evade an answer. And so calmly and confidently you proved the existence of a lie on his part.
4. Lying spoils the relationship. Now explain to your chosen one that lying does not lead to anything good. After a little deception, there is a greater deception. And over time, you will stop understanding each other and be sincere altogether. And since you together do not want to allow this, then invite him to first apologize for his act, if he still has not done it. And then let him offer his solution to the problem.
5. Compromise and worthy solution. Most likely, the guy will start promising that this will not happen again. Then offer him your solution that will satisfy both. By doing so, in his eyes, you will raise your self-esteem, and in the future he is unlikely to want to lie. After all, it is better to decide everything amicably with you. In rare cases, he will offer a solution that does not satisfy you. Then you need to remind him of his lies and say that he has no right to demand so much. Then offer your compromise.
This instruction will help you to raise your authority in the eyes of a man. You are also beautiful and confident and will do your best to prevent it from happening in the future. The main thing is to try never to make a row about this. Since welding will not lead to a solution to your problem, but rather, on the contrary, will distance you from each other.
"Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie" - we often hear from people this common, but sometimes contradictory expression. But more often it happens that lying can really be a salvation. Having learned the truth, sometimes life breaks down in people, especially in spouses. Well, for example, a man cheated on his wife by accident, she found out the truth, the family broke up, they could not understand and forgive, but they could continue to live as before. But some wives are already itching to find out if her husband is lying to her - they say, I don't want to be a fool in the eyes of others. Well, it is for such curious women that this article was written.
Most often - from mistrust in the family. Or to save a loved one from the bitter truth, because some problems are only temporary.
For example, my husband is in trouble at work. But everything can be sorted out. The wife pushes out what is happening and realizes that the husband is a liar, because he swears to her that everything is fine, but something is wrong.
What does the wife do. Calls colleagues, learns the lie of his spouse, runs to his boss, threatens with all kinds of authorities and fulfills his threats. What does the boss do. He dismisses this poor fellow under the article, depriving him of material calculations. What does the husband do. Left without work, it is difficult to find a job, the family is in poverty, the wife is hysterical.
And the problem would be solved if the wife did not run in search of the truth. And the man, knowing the absurd character of his wife, could not entrust her with what he could easily deal with. But this is not the only example. There are many: the desire to meet friends is "veiled" by being busy at work. I would like to buy a new game - stashes are made. Mistrust is the main enemy of the family!
Physiognomy lesson
“I can see from your eyes that you’re lying” - this is a phrase that parents often say to their children, realizing that their child is a little liar. It would seem that such a number will not work with adults. But no. Anyone who is at least a little familiar with physiognomy can understand where the lie and where the truth is. Even in voice and gestures. Well here are some examples.
Eyes
Those who are calm and not going to deceive look like this:
- down and right (a sign of confidence);
- right-straight (memory of sounds);
- up-right (visual memory);
- left-down (memories of sensations and smells).
Anyone who wants to lie will look like this:
- left-top (a sign of fantasy, unreal pictures);
- left-straight (going to voice deception).
And only straight-looking eyes, this is a sign that a person is listening carefully to his counterpart. By the way, at this time a man can study your view of lies and truth.
It is much easier to recognize a liar by general facial expressions than by just one of the eyes. But sometimes the facial expressions of male liars are much more "eloquent" than female ones. For example, men, unlike the weaker sex, often scratch their nose when deceiving. This is due to the fact that in men there is an excitable zone of receptors in the nose, in contrast to women. Do you remember this fabulous guy - Pinocchio? Lies - the nose grows.
But here are some more secrets of deceitful facial expressions:
Pursing the lower lip suggests that the man is unlikely to keep his promise. Lip biting is clearly a lie somewhere. The person seems to be holding back his unnecessary words, fearing that by doing so he will be caught in deception. A crooked smile with one corner of the lips is an insincere emotion in a man. Tight and slightly quivering corners of the lips are a sign of malevolence.
A raised (crumpled) chin means that a man is angry and annoyed towards you, no matter how he smiles. By the way, such a deceitful smile can be given by "not laughing" eyes, which do not narrow at all.
If you told him some news, and a man is surprised for more than 10 seconds with violent emotions and facial expressions, then this is a sign that he already knew everything in advance. Since after 10 seconds a truthful person needs to comprehend the news, which means that the emotion will change.
And the most famous sign, along with all of the above, is the reddening of the cheeks and ears of liars. They are ashamed that they are lying. However, this has nothing to do with those who are naturally capable of blushing due to some external influence, for example, because of the weather.
Fragment from the film "Liar, Liar"
arrow_left Fragment from the film "Liar, Liar"
Body gestures and movements
You probably noticed how a naughty dog behaves when he is caught next to a gnawed shoe? He tries to turn away, step back, hide. He is immensely ashamed, but he cannot say anything to lie. Liars behave in about the same way, with the only difference that they can still lie.
The deceiver will hide his eyes, as if he is distracted by something more important, wants to turn away, step back. Body movements are slightly nervous, especially the shoulders - they twitch a little, as if the person wants to throw off the burden of an unpleasant conversation. Hands will tug at the collar, neck, tie - lies begin to choke.
By the way, pay special attention to gestures, everything secret is hidden there. Hands that hug a loved one, hidden in a pocket or behind the back, fingers clasped in a lock - all this indicates a lie. The person does not want to thereby give away his excitement - suddenly shaking hands will declassify him.
By the way, a lying person, who is already inflamed and foaming at the mouth, proves his innocence, gestures begin to simply dance. Either he shakes his index finger, ostensibly threatening, then he sharply lowers his hand with his palm down, ostensibly suppressing his counterpart, but all this is again a kind of protection.
Almost everyone is lying. The politician broadcasts from the rostrum about how much good he will do for the people - everyone understands that he is lying, but they hope for at least a crumb of truth. The lawyer is lying, defending his client, but this is his job. Professional liars do it competently, do not find fault with them. But it is more difficult for an ordinary person to do this.
A person speaking the truth will not speak in general terms: "Everyone is talking about this!" To the question: "Who exactly?", He will not repeat: "Yes, everything!". He will specifically name the person. Anyway, his whole story will be short, without unnecessary details. Little things in the story are a red herring. Moreover, these details can be dubbed two or three times: "So I went out, I went out, and when I went out, I met her."
But the specific things that interest a woman will be crumpled and slipped through. For example:
Well, in general, this aunt, like her there, left, and then, can you imagine, I decided to go not by car, but while it is light outside - the sun is shining hot, the birds are chirping, the weather is super, I decided to take a walk.
Aunt "how is her there" is crumpled, but there are so many details about the weather!
When talking, there are two options to hide a lie: either the person proves his "truth" quickly and avidly, or controls every word when he gets confused in his testimony. There is an opportunity to bring him to clean water - let the "truth-bearer" tell his version exactly the opposite, that is, from the end of events to its beginning. It is unlikely that, entangled in lies, he will succeed.
Do you need the truth
And further. By "winding" yourself, you risk becoming a bitch. Like the one described in detail in the article. Men don't like that kind. In the end, you will, willy-nilly, teach your own spouse to lie, and thereby destroy the family yourself. So secure the golden rule:
The less you know the better you sleep.
Finally - an unusual technique
Let's do a thought experiment.
Imagine that you have the super ability to "read" men. Like Sherlock Holmes: she looked at a man - and immediately you know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You would hardly be reading this article right now in search of a solution to your problem - you would not have any relationship problems at all.
And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you will not read other people's thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.
We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a candidate of psychological sciences, and her method helped many girls feel loved and receive gifts, attention and care.
If you're interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 places specifically for visitors to our site.
Faced with lies is always unpleasant. But it's one thing when a random person tells a lie, and it's another thing to constantly listen to lies from your own husband.
What to do in a situation when a spouse? What solution in these circumstances would help solve the problem? Is there a single correct answer to such difficult questions?
Aphids eat grass, rust eats iron, and lies eat soul.
A.P. Chekhov
Who is to blame for the lie and what can be done
Absolutely every person is individual and everyone has their own attitude to untruth. Some, like Voltaire, believe that if with the help of a lie you can calm or delight a person, then it is a blessing. Others, like Kant, are deeply convinced that under no circumstances it is impossible to lie.But this is all in theory. In practice, faced with the deception of her husband, every woman feels betrayed and unhappy. She immediately has two questions: "why is he doing this to me?" and "what to do next?" As corny as it sounds, the first thing to do is to calm down. In such difficult situations, the "cold" mind will be a much better advisor than "hot" emotions.
First you need to find out how often the spouse lies and for what reason (read the same about girls). The tendency to tell lies is formed in childhood. If a child was brought up by strict parents and for every deviation from the rules he was scolded or punished, then he gets used to hide everything. Adults also actively use this model. If you notice that your husband is constantly lying, analyze the situation in detail.
There are two possible options:
- Deceit is a trait of his personality. He constantly lies to everyone: at work - to the boss, in the company - to friends, and at home - to his wife. With all the desire to correct a pathological liar without the help of a qualified specialist, it is unlikely that it will be possible. It is necessary to consult a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.
To cope with this problem can only be established by establishing the true reason for the tendency to deceive everyone. To become sincere and truthful, a person will have to show great volitional efforts.
- He only lies to his wife- this means that the reason lies precisely in the relationship of the couple.
Psychologists say that it is women who, with their excessive control, often push men to lie. In such a situation, attempts to change the situation and make communication trustworthy need to start with yourself.
Different reasons for male lies: what lies behind them
If the husband constantly has to lie only to his wife, then again the reason for this behavior should be established. By understanding the cause, you will be able to take actions that will be effective to solve the problem.Possible reasons for male lies:
- The desire not to offend your spouse- if a wife asks questions, the truthful answer to which may upset or offend her, most men will lie about whether the dress really suits her.
To avoid such unpleasant situations, a woman needs to make it clear that she normally perceives constructive criticism and it is better to treat truthful, not very flattering reviews than “sweet” lies.
- The desire to look more successful in the eyes of the spouse. If the husband "artificially overestimates" his achievements, then the wife should think about whether she evaluates him too critically.
So that a person does not have the desire to invent achievements for himself, he must be believed in and supported. Criticism should be measured and very objective. The main thing is not to compare your husband with other men not in his favor, because this is perceived very painfully and in the future can provoke a lie of this nature.
- Desire to avoid negative consequences, quarrels, scandals. If a wife limits her husband's personal space too much and his every deviation from an acceptable behavior option for her ends with a scandal or lectures, over time, even an honest person will begin to deceive.
If a spouse is against meeting her husband with friends, after sitting with them for several hours in a bar, he will say that he is late at work. This is a situation about which folk wisdom says "misfortune forces even an honest person to lie."
In order to prevent such cases, it is enough to trust your loved one and give him enough free time and space. In gratitude for this, most men stop lying, get out and tell the truth.
Treason is the worst lie
The situations listed above are upset and frustrating, but most women can put up with them. But when a precedent arises that the husband has cheated and lies, then this is already very serious and is a true betrayal.If we are talking about the only betrayal and the husband considers it a big mistake, then some women manage to forgive and save the relationship.
And if the spouse is constantly cheating, then there is little hope of maintaining a happy marriage. Only the huge work on the relationship, which both spouses will do, will help to save him. A visit to a family counselor is a good option.
What is to be done in the end?
The answer to the question "if my husband is lying to me, then what should I do?" everyone finds for themselves. If the relationship is valuable to you, then you need to take all possible measures so that they become trusting.
Trust your spouse, accept him with all his flaws, and he will become more honest. But if there is no corresponding positive reaction from the person, then is it worth spending your own efforts on improving the situation in the marriage? Everyone must make their own choice.
Each man is individual, as well as his attitude to lying. Some believe, like Voltaire, that it is possible to reassure a loved one with a lie, others admit “a lie for salvation,” others sincerely agree with the words of A.P. Chekhov that lies corrode the soul like rust.
Truth and untruth are philosophical concepts. Where is the line between despicable deception and annoying delusion, false fiction and violent imagination? What is the category for hiding the truth?
The reasoning can be continued endlessly. Let's leave speculative discussions to philosophers and admit a priori that it is ugly to deceive, all the more so, to your own wife. If a woman asked the question: “Why is her husband lying?”, Then she is experiencing obvious discomfort. Let's try to figure out what to do and how to behave in this unpleasant situation.
The reasons why the husband is lying
When we are deceived by a loved one, we experience strong negative emotions. A note of distrust immediately creeps in, thoughts of betrayal and cooling of feelings arise. Before you start doing something, try to calm down, look at the situation from the outside. Do not immediately roll up a scandal, unbridled emotions will only worsen the relationship.
First, analyze the situation in detail, take a kind of time-out. Observe your husband distantly and find out how often and when he lies. Psychologists identify three possible options.
Easy pretense on trifles
If a man is not telling the truth about trifles, take it lightly. It is common for the stronger sex to weave fables, making achievements more significant and disadvantages more invisible. If your husband boasts of a bumper crop of harvested mushrooms or popularity with women, pretend to sincerely believe. Play along with him, let him feel like a noble earner, casanova, etc.
Don't be jealous of fictional victories on the love front. If you begin to doubt his male consistency, you will involuntarily cause a desire to prove fiction with real facts. It's easier to pretend you believe in bravado.
If a man tells stories at the beginning of their acquaintance, he is trying to impress you in this way. It is a popular seduction tool for the modern macho. Be careful. Exorbitant promises “to get the moon from the sky”, “to throw the whole world at its feet”, to shower material goods from head to toe are often pure fiction. In order not to be disappointed later, try to draw a line between real possibilities and fictional ones.
Pathological liar
In psychology, there is a model of behavior when a person is inclined to constantly tell a lie. Some experts believe that pathological liars differ from ordinary ones in confidence in the veracity of their fabrications. They selflessly lie, getting used to fictional images. Individuals with low self-esteem are most susceptible to pathological lies.
Such people always lie to everyone, without blushing: in the service - to the authorities, in the company - to friends, at home - to their wife. The habit of lying is fixed in the subconscious since childhood. If strict parents or educators scold, punish a child for the slightest sin, he begins to skillfully hide them.
Men are eternal children. They actively use similar behavior at a respectable age. Perhaps you have become hostage to your husband's previous relationship with an overly demanding woman. Having got used to withholding the truth or telling half-truths, he transfers the learned pattern to you.
It is unlikely to wean the lies of a pathological liar without a qualified psychologist. It can be changed only by revealing the deep reason for deceiving. For a person to become sincere, he will need a lot of volitional efforts.
Husband lies exclusively to his wife
It is this case that deserves careful consideration and concrete intervention. If a spouse turns into a liar when crossing the threshold of the home, the reason lies in the relationship of the couple.
There are several reasons for lying:
- Unwillingness to offend your spouse
Attempts to protect a loved one from painful emotions are characteristic of delicate people. They try on the situation for themselves, and speak “sweet” lies in the eyes instead of the impartial truth. If you try to find out from a diplomat by nature whether an obviously unsuccessful hairstyle or dress suits you, then you yourself will force him to deceive. Just be glad that your husband loves you enough that he doesn't want to upset you. If such cases start to irritate, then you should act in two ways.
First, stop asking provocative questions, because a truthful answer is unlikely to change the hard-hitting reality. Second, explain to your husband that you value his independent opinion and that you will not be offended by constructive criticism.
If you feel that your husband doesn't like the way you look or cook, but he continues to lie, try to change yourself. Master the culinary tricks, choose the winning hairstyle and style of clothing. Remember how the attitude of women changes after the magical transformations in "Fashionable Sentence". If your husband endures, does not leave, it means that he loves you and expects positive changes, and not insults and accusations of lies. The best reward will be a truly deserved compliment: "You look great today!"
- Desire to look successful in the eyes of your wife
Artificially inflating your achievements indicates a desire to meet your expectations. Do not try to blind Arnold Schwarzenegger and Alain Delon into one person from her husband. Think about whether you are too critical of your husband's career in your career?
Instead of accusing you of not meeting the desired ideal, try to give wise and objective hints. Praise something good before pointing out mistakes. If you criticize, then carefully, dosed and to the point.
Wise psychologists advise never to compare a husband with more successful men. This painfully reflects on self-esteem, and in the future provokes a cooling of feelings. Support your husband in positive endeavors, become a strong rear. Learn to accept it along with flaws, and the reason for deception will disappear.
- Unwillingness to touch upon a sore subject
A fairly common reason for excuses, ambiguity and uncertainty is a lack of willingness to discuss a topic of concern to a wife. The range of issues is quite wide: from everyday troubles to unwillingness to have children. What to do in such a situation? Fight not with lies itself, but solve the problem that gives rise to it. As a rule, the wife instinctively feels that she is rejecting her spouse. Raises the question point-blank or wait for possible changes - it's up to you.
- Unwillingness for negative consequences
It happens that the wife's reaction to the truth is too violent and unpredictable: tears, screams, reproaches, blackmail, etc. In such situations, even honest husbands try to avoid scandals by false fabrications. When it comes to the acceptable rate, change your attitude. To keep your family together, try not to throw tantrums, quarrels, lecture, or threaten to move in with your mom. There are many calm and balanced women who will gladly take your place.
Perhaps you keep your spouse on a short leash: you keep calling, checking where he is and with whom, why is he 5 minutes late from work? Believe me, total control will certainly give rise to lies. The person has a personal safeguarding space that you invade too often.
No matter how difficult it is, give your half the freedom of action and movement. Otherwise, instead of everyday lies, there will be more serious reasons for concern. Respect your husband's personality. Despite the clearly distinguishable stamp in your passport, it is not your undivided property. He has his own hobbies, friends, problems that he does not want to burden you with.
Let us illustrate the theory with an illustrative example. The tired man went with a friend to the bar after work and diluted the dinner with a mug of beer. The faithful traditionally meets him at the doorstep with the expected "Oh, well ... !!!". What is left to do? To lie to the rescue that he was delayed at a meeting with partners, he was forced to "sip a little", as "it is accepted in corporate ethics."
The same happens when a wife harasses her husband with jealousy. Asking in detail about relationships with women colleagues, you run the risk of hearing a fair amount of misinformation, so as not to cheat on trifles. Try to show more trust and understanding. It really helps.
Drastic measures, how to wean a husband from lying
If the amount of noodles on your ears has exceeded imaginable limits, it's time to move on to reciprocal maneuvers. Do the Mirror experiment. Start lying back. Impudently, openly, without a twinge of conscience and diplomatic exercises. Try to get used to the role of a pathological liar according to Stanislavsky, so that your husband believes and appreciates the scale of the problem. Psychologists assure that such a demonstration is able to convince more productively requests and theoretical explanations.
Treason is the deadliest lie
The above types of lies do not add optimism, but patient and wise women will find strength and ways to reconcile with them. When it turns out that lies disguises treason, then few will be able to forgive and understand it. It is worth noting that if the infidelity is of a single nature, the husband regrets her and asks for forgiveness, then it makes sense to try to rehabilitate the relationship. When the spouse is constantly cheating, hiding behind a network of endless lies, there is little hope of preserving the marriage.
Output
Pass any advice from a psychologist through the prism of personal feelings. In nature, there are no 100% similar situations, as well as no universal answers. Wrong - does not make the relationship stronger, but in order to destroy them completely, it must be weighed down with good reasons. It's all about how much you value a man and are interested in continuing the relationship.
If the lie has a harmless scale and is limited to the size of the caught pike, it is unproductive and pointless to look for a reason for divorce in it. When it comes to serious lies, constructive dialogue and redefining the relationship is recommended in most cases. It will not be difficult to correct situations with distrust, excessive criticism and fear of offending. If a lie hides constant betrayal and indifference, then even a heart-to-heart talk will not help get rid of it.
Men and women have different natures, everyone knows this for a long time, but, unfortunately, on the basis of this knowledge, conflicts have not diminished. Very often, different sexes cannot agree on anything, they worry and suffer from this and eventually part.
But after all, situations are different, those that have reasons for the conflict or not, those that are sufficient for parting or not. Very often, such a reason is a lie on the part of a man. If you look into the depth of the situation, then men tend to deceive, lie or conceal. But again, the situations and the reasons why they do it are so diverse that deciding how to act as a result is a rather delicate question.
To begin with, before you start making a decision about a future relationship, you need to figure out how to understand that a man is lying. If you suspect that he is not sincere, you should try to just talk to him about it. Of course, if he is hiding something serious, this can make him show great vigilance and caution, and then it will be even more difficult for a woman to get to the bottom of the truth.
But, nevertheless, an attempt at a conversation is the most correct in such a situation, the main thing is not to go too far. It is worth planning the right conversation well, and if you cannot get intelligible answers from the man, pretend that this issue is not focused on.
A man is most likely lying if, instead of trying to explain something, he jokes everything and translates the topic of the conversation, or if he explains something in a very confused way. Questions and the moment for conversation should be unexpected, so that he does not prepare for them in advance.
In this case, the circumstances should be comfortable enough, in the event that the omission is not significant - this will help the man to relax and, possibly, tell the woman everything. In such a conversation, it is important for a woman to follow the gestures and facial expressions of the man. Some elements and movements can involuntarily indicate that the person is lying or hiding something.
In addition to such more obvious signs, there are also those that can be simply tracked in the process of daily life. If a man suddenly became unexpectedly secretive and taciturn, puts his phone away when a woman approaches him or has put secret passwords everywhere, then most likely he has something to hide.
There are also two models of defensive behavior when a person is lying. In men, they are expressed by aggression and excessive attention. That is, when a man feels his guilt, he either begins to react sharply, "with hostility" to his woman, or surround her with care that is absolutely not characteristic of him, thus compensating for his deception. But conclusions should be drawn only if the man's behavior has really changed, and it has not always been so. For example, if he himself is rather reserved, then you should not think that this is some kind of new feature in his behavior.
There are also such rare cases when a man does not feel guilty for his lies and, accordingly, it is very difficult for a woman to reveal deception, most likely such a man simply does not care about the woman who is next to him. But in any case, before judging what, it is worth understanding the situation and trying to understand the reasons for his deception.
If a man is lying, what to do? Indeed, the most correct answer to this question is to understand. Do not make a rash decision, do not make a scandal, but first try to understand why he is doing this. Most women immediately think that if a man is lying, then he is cheating, but these are far from identical concepts. There are many more reasons for lying.
Such examples include the so-called "lie for salvation." This type of deception implies that a man is worried about his woman, does not want to upset her, or it does not concern him at all, but one of his friends or some circumstances.
At the same time, he may not lie, and for example, he may not finish talking about some information. A man in such a situation may think that his actions are directed for the good. As a rule, if such a lie emerges, it is possible to solve the problems that have arisen in the process of an ordinary heart-to-heart conversation, of course, if such circumstances are not constantly repeated.
More often than not, it is precisely the same motivation that underlies deception on trifles, concern for a partner, unwillingness to discuss any problems, failures or blunders, etc.
In such cases, men often lie, exaggerate, etc. Of course, when a man lies on little things all the time, you should take a closer look, perhaps he is cheating a woman in the same way and on a large scale, but here a woman needs to be careful, you can blame her beloved without reason. If we are talking about minor exaggerations and small deceptions, then it is best to put up with these. It is sad to admit it, but it is natural for men, just as women tend to cry.
The deep basis of these phenomena lies in the fact that men are used to exaggerating facts, and women are used to emotions. That is why men lie and women roar, and, unfortunately, nothing can be done about it. These are partly interrelated phenomena. That is, because of some event, a woman gets upset, cries, a man, in order to avoid the next tears, lies.
Further, if the deception is revealed, the woman again grieves and cries. Thus, events continue in a circle until someone breaks it. But, as a rule, instead of fixing problems, one of the partners simply breaks off the relationship, not seeing or not wanting to see another way out. Or such a relationship lasts a lifetime, further fueled by even greater deception on the part of a man and suffering on the part of a woman. This is the standard model of behavior for most couples today.
At the heart of male lies, in addition to his natural qualities, education plays a certain role. If in childhood there were many restrictions and punishments, then it was easier to lie and avoid them than to tell the truth. And this stereotype is clearly eating into their minds.
And if a woman behaves according to a psychological type, like a “mommy” and, like real parents, worries a man, then he involuntarily begins to lie to her. Such children's complexes, of course, affect the relationship in general, and it is best to resolve them with the help of a psychologist.
There are also cases when a man has a constant need to cheat, this is accompanied by constant problems not only at home, but also at work. In such a situation, the desire to deceive turns into a pathology, which cannot be solved even with the help of a psychologist, but it is necessary to contact specialists in this profile.
And only with their help and faith in success, it is possible to overcome this disease. There is also not a pathological lie in itself, but a deception based on pathologies or addictions. For example, if a man has a bad habit of smoking or playing in the Casino, and because of this he is lying. In this case, it is also worth contacting specialists, but a prerequisite should be his desire to get rid of it.
Naturally, there are very often situations when a lie is associated with treason, this is the circumstance that frightens women most of all. How to act in this situation is everyone's personal business. But psychologists believe that a one-time betrayal is a consequence of the behavior of both partners, and will not necessarily entail further ones, that is, if a woman is ready to make contact after such an event, then it is quite possible to restore the trust of partners in the future.
If deception is repeated many times for the sake of treason or some kind of addiction, then it is best to break off such relations completely. At the same time, it will be optimal if the woman expresses all her emotions and feelings (preferably calmly) so as not to experience them in herself.
In any case, every situation and every deception of a man is individual, so a woman should start by finding out the reasons and circumstances and discussing problems, and then, relying on her inner feelings, make a final decision.