1.3 The influence of the mother on the favorable development of the child

The mother is the central figure in the family education system. The concepts of "maternal care" and "mothering", which were especially widely used in neo-Freudian literature (A. Freud, J. Bowlby, R. Sears), were put forward and later began to increasingly be used.

Within the psychoanalytic concept, the role of the mother is shrouded in a veil of mystery and mysticism. The importance of her biological ties with the child, which are closed during gestation, breastfeeding and hygienic care, involving the stimulation of the erogenous zones of the child (oral, anal, phallic), is emphasized. Emphasis is placed on the exclusivity of the child's ties with the mother - the only adult who is truly close to the baby. The role of the mother is seen in the fact that she protects her child, protects him from dangers. The actual interaction of the child with the mother within the framework of the psychoanalytic concept is usually not made an object of scientific research.

The study of the role of maternal care is limited to identifying the backlog and mental abnormalities in children brought up outside the family, in separation from their mother, who are then unfoundedly attributed to the last fatal circumstance. In the best case, the timing and rate of development of individual mental abilities in orphans and their peers growing up in the family are compared. But gradually, on the basis of the same depth psychology, within the framework of which the English psychologist J. Bowlby worked, studies are being carried out that cast doubt on the conclusions of these authors. [ 4]

In 1951, the World Health Organization published in Geneva a book by J. Bowlby "Maternal Care and Spiritual Health", which made a deep impression on the Western public, and its findings have long seriously hampered the development of public education in these countries. The book emphasized the imperative necessity of the child's ties with the biological mother for his correct development at an early age and is used as a medical and pedagogical definition of the term "lack of maternal care", which has become widespread. For more than half a century, Bowlby has been working on the development of children who live without full contact with their mothers. He studied especially intensively the development of children living in orphanages and orphanages. In his conclusions, he often came to paradoxical conclusions, but in most cases, when he did not break away from specific material, these conclusions were justified. If we summarize the data of numerous publications belonging to Bowlby, then they can be conditionally expressed as follows.

· Infant age (6 to 12 months) is the most important for the child's mental development.

· For the correct formation of character for life, for its harmonious development, contact with the mother is of the greatest importance: in the end, no one can replace the mother - neither the best children's institution, nor the most beautiful stepmother.

· In the behavior of a child forcibly separated from his mother, the following phases can be distinguished: a phase of protest, a phase of despair. the phase of forced reconciliation.

Toward the end of his life, Bowlby moved away from overly categorical, one-sided statements. He was forced to admit that science had not yet accumulated sufficiently convincing data to support his point of view. Of all that Bowlby wrote about for more than half a century, only one thing can be admitted with certainty: for the harmonious development of a child's character, maternal care is necessary.

French psychologist René Spitz has studied children in orphanages and good nursery facilities with a large number of attendants. He noted that children from orphanages lagged behind in mental development. Although the care, nutrition and hygiene conditions in these institutions were good, the mortality rate was very high. By the age of 2, many of them died from hospitalism. Most of the survivors at the age of 4 did not know how to walk, dress, eat with a spoon, relieve themselves, speak, lagged behind in height and weight. Nursery children developed normally. It turned out that the most dangerous and vulnerable age is from 6 to 12 months. At this time, the child should in no case be deprived of communication with the mother. And if it is impossible otherwise, it is necessary to replace the mother with another person.

It is important to emphasize that if this feeling of basic trust in the world is not formed, then this place will not remain empty; it will be occupied by a feeling of “basic distrust” of the world, a fear of this world. It is also significant that the formation of a sense of basic trust cannot be postponed until later, because if a certain development task is not solved in the time allotted for this, then later this can be done much more difficult, and sometimes even impossible.

In the last twenty years, work has been carried out, the results of which indicate that there is no reason to equate "institutionalism" with the consequences of a child's absence of a mother. Thus, a detailed analysis of the facts described in the psychological literature allowed L. Yarrow to identify, in addition to “maternal deprivation,” a variety of reasons for the lagging behind inmates of closed children's institutions. He established a serious impoverishment of the environment in such institutions due to a sharp decrease in the brightness and diversity of impressions in them (sensory deprivation), a decrease in communication with people around (social deprivation), a flattening of the emotional tone in relations with staff (emotional deprivation) and along a number of other lines. In addition, L. Yarrow identified significant differences between children brought up by a mother and without a mother, according to biological and social anamnesis. However, these differences do not allow us to consider the two samples sufficiently equalized in terms of other criteria, and therefore there is no reason to attribute the difference in the development of children in closed children's institutions and in the family only due to this factor.

A similar conclusion was reached by M. Rutter, who emphasized that the negative consequences of raising infants and young children in closed institutions arise not due to lack of maternal care, but as a result of insufficient emotional contacts and joint activities of a child with an adult, as well as low sensory and social stimulation in such institutions. [ thirty]

V. Lehr, who undertook an in-depth study of the views of various authors from different countries on this issue, joins the opinion about the diversity and complexity of the reasons that determine the role of the mother in the upbringing of children.

Some psychologists have tried to understand the meaning of maternal care from positions that, in principle, cannot be reproduced in the context of social education. For example, in the family, the mother is the only adult who constantly takes care of the baby, while in children's institutions there are always several educators. Does not the multiplicity of persons who replace the child's mother prevent the timely development of his personality and behavior?

G.X. Reingold and N. Bailey tried to find out the psychological influence of the "multiple mothers" on the child. They organized an experimental group in which for three months in a row - from the beginning of the sixth to the end of the eighth month of life - only one caregiver looked after the children. In the control group, four teachers worked as usual. By the end of the experiment, the children of the experimental group showed increased social reactivity compared to their peers from the control group. But a survey carried out a year later showed that the difference between them disappeared. The authors conclude that having a single adult caring for a child does not appear to have much of an impact on child development, at least (they make a cautious disclaimer) if such a condition has been in effect for only three months. With regard to day care institutions, the multiplicity of educators, as it turned out, does not have much effect at all. [4.30]

Many domestic scientists (Yu.Bronfenbrenner, A.V. Zaporozhets) attach great importance to the study of the relationship between mother and child, but do not consider them biologically determined. On the contrary, biologically more expedient is, apparently, the polytropy of the baby - the presence of many-sided and strong ties with the surrounding adults. As suggested by A.V. Zaporozhets, in ancient times, at the dawn of mankind, the polytropic nature of attachments effectively contributed to the survival of offspring.

“Back in the 30s. N, M. Shchelovanov showed, - writes A. V. Zaporozhets, - that in a child's home, children can develop successfully under the condition of well-organized pedagogical work, that it is not separation from the mother, but a lack of upbringing that retards the normal development of the child. This development depends on the quantity and quality of impressions that he receives mainly in the process of communicating with adults, from mastering various types of activity. "

Thus, today the problem of the influence of the mother on the development of the child does not have unambiguous conclusions in foreign and domestic psychology and is at the stage of research.

1.4 Conclusions on chapter 1

This chapter analyzed the scientific works of domestic and foreign psychologists who studied the characteristics of children left without parental care. Based on this analysis, the following conclusions can be formulated:

1. The upbringing of children left without parental care is built without taking into account adequate psychological conditions that ensure full development.

2. Among the negative features in the upbringing of children left without parental care, stand out

Increases. Having received a professional education and having undergone special training, they possess the qualities necessary to fulfill the tasks facing the officers of the Internal Affairs Directorate of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia. As with any employee, the following requirements are imposed on a woman: to fulfill her duty in good faith, to demonstrate by her behavior adherence to the democratic social order, to bear full ...

(389 words) The whole family influences the formation of the child's personality, but the mother is the first person with whom he has a particularly close contact, so her role can be called the main one. It is she who nurses the baby from the first hours of life, it is she who spends round the clock at his bedside. The power of her influence cannot be overestimated, because all human characteristics originate in early childhood, when the mother is always there. To substantiate my opinion, I will give literary examples.

In Leo Tolstoy's story "Childhood" the mother of the protagonist taught the children kindness, tenderness and openness. The sons loved her very much, because from this woman emanated an angelic radiance of meekness, affection and joy. Her softness and sensitivity passed on to Nikolenka, who painfully perceived every event in life and subtly felt the mood and atmosphere in the house. Also, the mother was able to teach her children to live in love and harmony, content with the company of family and friends. Arriving in the city, they could not immediately adapt to it, because the bustle and strained manners of the world did not like the children accustomed to the sincerity and naturalness of their mother. In part, Nicholas can even be called pampered, since he inherited many maternal traits and habits: he was easily embarrassed and lost in public, was too suspicious and driven. Thus, the character of the son absorbed everything that the generous mother's soul poured out: vulnerability, love, responsiveness and tenderness.

In FM Dostoevsky's novel Crime and Punishment, we meet Rodion's mother, who came to the capital with his sister. She is a meek, modest and kind woman who sincerely pity those who are in trouble. There is no stiffness and suspiciousness in her, she is open to the world and people, she wishes everyone only good. In her, we clearly see the reflection of her son and daughter, because they were just as good-natured, natural and even capable of sacrifices for the sake of love and family. So, Dunya wants to get married of convenience, just to help the family get out of poverty. The mother, on the other hand, does everything for her children, for example, she gives her last money to teach Raskolnikov, denying herself everything. Obviously, the influence of the mother played a major role in the development of the children.

Thus, it is the mother who has the strongest influence on the formation of the character of children due to the fact that she is next to them from the first hours of life. At this fateful time, a person adopts all the habits, qualities and habits of the one he sees next. This process occurs subconsciously, and our behavior in the future depends on it. Therefore, they say about the defining character traits of a person: "He absorbed it with his mother's milk."

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Influence of the personal characteristics of the mother on the style of attitude towards her child

Introduction

Chapter I. The role of the family in the development and upbringing of the child

1.1 Classification of styles of parenting in foreign and domestic psychology

1.2 Child's attachment to mother

Chapter II. The influence of the personal characteristics of the parents (mother) on the formation of the child's personality

2.1 The relationship between parenting and the personality of the parent

2.2 Influence of the "mother factor" on the child

2.3 Influence of the type of character of the mother on the child

Chapter III. Empirical study of the influence of the personality characteristics of the mother on the attitude towards the child

3.1 Description of the sample

3.2 Methods and techniques for studying the influence of the personality of the mother on the attitude towards the child

3.3 Results of the study of the influence of the personality characteristics of the mother on the attitude towards the child

Conclusion

Bibliography

Introduction

The relevance of research.

Over the past decade, the situation in the field of practical psychology has changed significantly. Psychological services appear in various institutions. Many interesting developmental and correctional programs for children have been created, which are actively used by practical psychologists. However, experts are increasingly pointing out that the results are lower than expected. Most often this is due to the fact that the child's problems are only a consequence of the problems of adult family members, for example, marital relations in the family, personal problems of parents, etc. In particular, the formation of the child's personality depends on the style of the parents' attitude to the child. And the style of parenting depends on the socio-cultural and family traditions, on the clinical and psychological characteristics of the child, on the ethological factor of the child's early contact with the mother, on the characteristics of communication between adult family members, including the personality characteristics of the parent himself.

The relevance of the topic of the thesis is due to insufficient study of the dependence of personal characteristics parent, and in particular - the mother, and her relationship to her child.

The psychological literature contains a large number of works that study the types of parental attitudes towards a child in connection with their influence on the development of his personality, character traits and behavior (Bowlby, 1988; Garbuzov, 1990; Zakharov, 1995; Ainsworth, 1963; and others).

They describe the qualities of a mother that contribute to the formation of a strong and fragile attachment to the child; the characteristics of an "optimal mother" or "a sufficiently good mother" are identified, and various models of parental behavior are considered.

Convincing and demonstrative observations and studies on the influence of incorrect or disturbed parental relationships, for example, maternal deprivation (I. Landgmeer, Z. Mateichik, 1985; E. T. Sokolova, 1981; D. Bowlby 1953; M. D. Ainsworth, 1964).

In domestic science and practice, child-parent relationships were studied by: A. Ya. Varga, V. V. Stolin, A. S. Spivakovskaya, etc. In domestic literature, a broad classification of styles of family education of adolescents with character accentuations and psychopathies is proposed, and it is also indicated what type of parental relationship contributes to the emergence of this or that developmental anomaly (A.E. Lichko, 1979; E.G. Eidemiller, 1980). However, the study of the influence of individual characteristics of parents on the child's behavior still requires additional analysis.

Based on the above, it is determined purpose of the study: to study the influence of the personality characteristics of the mother on the attitude towards her child.

As object of research interpersonal relations between mother and child are advocated.

The subject of research are the personal characteristics of the mother that affect the attitude towards the child.

The study put forward hypothesis: the personality traits of the mother influence the style of attitude towards the child.

To test the hypothesis put forward, it is necessary to solve the following tasks:

To carry out a theoretical analysis of literature in the field of personality psychology, family psychology.

Conduct an empirical study of the personality traits of mothers.

Reveal the dependence of the influence of the characteristics of the mother on the attitude towards your child.

To implement the tasks and test the hypothesis used method testing.

To study the personal characteristics of parents:

R. Cattell's method of multifactorial personality research (№ 187).

To investigate the type of parenting relationship:

Methods for diagnosing parental attitudes (A.Ya. Varga, V.V. Stolin).

The study involved 30 families.

The practical significance of the work is that the results obtained can be used to develop individual and group programs for parents. These programs can be both preventive and corrective in nature. Working with parents in this way will help broaden their level of self-awareness and increase their acceptance of responsibility.

Glava 1. Rthe role of the family in the development and upbringing of the child

1.1 Classification of styles of parenting in foreign and domestic psychology

The family for the child is the place of birth and the main habitat. In his family, he has close people who understand and accept him for who he is. It is in the family that the child receives the basics of knowledge about the world around him, and with the high cultural and educational potential of the parents, he continues to receive not only the basics, but the culture itself all his life. The family is a certain moral and psychological climate, for a child it is the first school of relations with people. It is in the family that the child's ideas about good and evil, about decency, about a respectful attitude to material and spiritual values ​​are formed. With close people in the family, he experiences feelings of love, friendship, duty, responsibility, justice. By its very nature, family upbringing is based on feeling. Family parenting is more emotional in nature than any other parenting. Its "conductor" is parental love for children, which evokes the reciprocal feelings of children to their parents (Zakharov A.I., 1998, 2000).

Family education organically merges with the entire life of a growing person: in a family, a child is included in all vital types of activity - intellectual and cognitive, labor, social, value-oriented, artistic and creative, play, free communication. Moreover, all stages go through: from elementary attempts to the most complex socially and personally significant forms of behavior. Family education also has a wide time range of impact: it continues throughout a person's life, takes place at any time of the day, at any time of the year.

Attachment relationships that arise in the family are not only the basis of his future relationships with people, but also help to reduce the feeling of anxiety that arises in a child in new or stressful situations. Thus, according to a number of authors, the main function of the family is to provide a basic sense of security, guaranteeing the safety of the child when interacting with the outside world, mastering new ways of his research and response (Adler A., ​​1986; Rogers K., 1994; Horney K., 1997).

Growing up, the child begins to identify himself with adults, copy the models of parental behavior and adopt the specifics of the relationship between parents. Children become infected with certain habits (Bandura's experiments), easily adopt from their parents or other close people the peculiarities of gesticulation, gait, and manner of speaking.

Nevertheless, a number of authors believe that the role of parenting patterns is important not only in the process of acquiring habits, but also as a way to cope with stress. If parents respond to difficulties through passive care or inappropriate aggression, then the child is likely to behave in a similar situation in the same way (Rutter M., 1987).

Interpersonal relationships have a similar impact. For example, for boys, the relationship of the father to the mother largely determines the nature of their own relationship to girls. If the model of family relations includes warmth, mutual care and respect, then, probably, the son's behavior will also be characterized by the same features. The contemptuous attitude of the father to the mother can have a corresponding influence on the attitude of the son to the girls.

Children learn from their parents certain ways of behavior, not only by assimilating the rules directly communicated to them (that is, ready-made recipes), but also through the observation of models existing in the relationship of parents (that is, an example) (Rutter M., 1987).

It is known that a child needs communication. However, the very presence of live communication between a child and adults is not enough for his harmonious mental development, for the full maturation of his personality. The quantity and quality of communication are of great importance (Barkan A.I., 1999; Vygotsky L.S., 1982; Gippenreiter Y.B., 2000; Lisina M.I., 1997, etc.). The consequences of insufficient communication between a child and an adult for his mental development are shown in works that investigate the phenomena of mental deprivation in childhood (Langmeyer J., Mateychek Z., 1984).

Thus, an analysis of the literature on this issue allows us to once again be convinced of how undeniably great is the role of the family, namely, parents, in the development of the child's health and psyche. Therefore, it seems important to consider how the relationship between parents and children can develop, what types and styles of parent-child relationships exist.

In the psychological literature, the concepts of "style of parental attitude", "type of family education", "parental position" are very often considered synonymous.

In this paper, we understand the style of family education as a multidimensional education that includes cognitive, emotional and behavioral components, based on the definition of A.Ya. Varga, which describes parenting as an integral system of various feelings towards the child, behavioral stereotypes practiced in communicating with the child, the characteristics of perception and understanding of the child's character, his actions (Varga A.Ya., 1986).

Parenting is generic for concepts such as parenting style, parental position, parental attitudes, parental interaction, etc. So, Varga A.Ya. (1987) indicates that a certain parental attitude towards the child is at the heart of a particular style of family education (for example, the classification of types of family education proposed by Eidemiller E.G., Lichko A.E. emphasizes the emotional and behavioral aspects of parenting).

Smirnova E.O., Bykova M.V. (2000) also says that parenting determines the parenting style and assessment of the child.

The main characteristics of parent-child relationships are:

1. The nature of the emotional connection: on the part of the parent - emotional acceptance of the child (parental love), on the part of the child - attachment and emotional attitude towards the parent.

2. Motives of education and parenting.

3. Meeting the needs of the child, care and attention of the parent.

4. Style of communication and interaction with the child. Features of the manifestation of parental leadership.

5. A way of resolving problem and conflict situations. Support for child autonomy.

6. Social control: requirements and prohibitions, their content and quantity; control method; sanctions (rewards and reinforcements); parental monitoring.

7. The degree of stability and consistency (inconsistency) of family education.

For the first time, the problem of parenting styles was investigated by A. Adler (1932). A. Adler described unfavorable childhood situations associated with parental education, on the basis of which the child forms erroneous ideas about life. These include mischief child and neglect child. These destructive styles of relationship with the child prevent him from developing social interest, or social feeling - the ability to take an interest in other people and take part in them. A. Adler emphasizes that connivance and permissiveness on the part of parents leads to the development of inadequate ideas about oneself, about the world around us, and ways of constructive interaction with other people. Emotionally rejected, neglected by parents, children will underestimate their own strengths, exaggerate the difficulties of life tasks, they may have difficulties in interpersonal relationships.

The chosen style of attitude towards the child depends on the life style of the parent's personality, i.e. from the value that a person attaches to the world and to himself, his goals, the direction of his aspirations and the approaches that he uses in solving life problems. And the style of parenting, in turn, has a direct impact on the formation of the child's lifestyle, because life style is formed very early (before the age of five) (A. Adler, 1998).

A. Baldwin (1906) identified two styles of parenting: democratic and controlling.

Democratic style characterized by the following parameters: a high degree of verbal communication between parents and children, the involvement of children in the discussion of family problems, the success of the child when the parents are always ready to help, the desire to reduce subjectivity in the child's vision.

Controlling style presupposes significant restrictions on the child's behavior in the absence of disagreements between parents and children about disciplinary measures, a clear understanding by the child of the meaning of restrictions. The requirements of the parents can be quite strict, but they are presented to the child constantly and consistently and are recognized by the child as fair and justified (Craig G., 2000).

D. Bowmead (1975) in a series of studies attempted to overcome the descriptor ness of the previous work, by isolating the totality of childhood traits associated with factors of parental control and emotional support.

Based on his observations, Bowmrid identifies 3 types of children, the nature of which corresponds to certain methods of educational activities of their parents.

Have reputable parents initiative, sociable, kind children. Authoritative are those parents who love and understand children, preferring not to punish, but to explain what is good and what is bad, without fear of praising them once again. They demand meaningful behavior from children and try to help them by being sensitive to their needs. At the same time, such parents usually show firmness, faced with children's whims, and even more so with unmotivated outbursts of anger.

The children of such parents are usually inquisitive, they try to justify, and not impose their point of view, they take their responsibilities responsibly. It is easier for them to assimilate socially acceptable and encouraged forms of behavior. They are more energetic and self-confident, they have better self-esteem and self-control, and it is easier for them to establish good relationships with their peers.

Bowmead (1975) emphasizes that authoritarian parents children become irritable, prone to conflict. Authoritarian parents believe that a child should not be given too much freedom and rights, that he should obey their will and authority in everything. It is no coincidence that these parents in their educational practice, striving to develop discipline in the child, as a rule, do not leave him the opportunity to choose options for behavior, limit his independence, deprive him of the right to object to elders, even if the child is right. Authoritarian parents often do not consider it necessary to substantiate their claims in any way. Strict control over the behavior of the child is the basis of their upbringing, which does not go beyond severe prohibitions, reprimands and often physical punishment. The most common method of disciplinary action is intimidation and threats.

Such parents exclude emotional closeness with children, they are stingy with praise, therefore, a feeling of affection rarely arises between them and the children.

However, tight control rarely gives a positive result. With such upbringing, children only develop a mechanism of external control, develop a sense of guilt or fear of punishment and, as a rule, have too little self-control, if any. Children of authoritarian parents find it difficult to connect with peers due to their constant vigilance and even hostility towards others. They are suspicious, sullen, anxious and therefore unhappy.

Have indulgent parents children become impulsive and aggressive. As a rule, condescending parents are not inclined to control their children, allowing them to do as they please, without requiring them to be responsible and self-controlled. These parents allow their children to do whatever they want, to the point of not paying attention to the outbursts of anger and aggressive behavior that get in trouble. In children, however, most often there are disagreements with discipline, often their behavior becomes simply uncontrollable. How do indulgent parents deal with such cases? Usually they become desperate and react very sharply - they rudely and sharply ridicule the child, and in fits of anger they can use physical punishment. They deprive children of parental love, attention and sympathy (Schneider LB, 2000).

D.Bomried (1975) identified four parameters of change in parental behavior responsible for the described patterns of childish traits.

Parental control: at a high level, parents prefer to have a great influence on children, are able to insist on fulfilling their requirements, are consistent in them. Controlling actions are aimed at modifying the manifestations of dependence in children, aggressiveness, the development of play behavior, as well as at a more perfect assimilation of parental standards and norms.

The second parameter is parental requirements, encouraging the development of maturity in children; parents try to ensure that children develop their abilities in the intellectual, emotional spheres, interpersonal communication, insist on the necessity and right of children to independence.

The third parameter is ways of communicating with children in the course of educational influences: parents strive to use persuasion in order to achieve obedience, justify their point of view and at the same time are ready to discuss it with children, listen to their argumentation. Parents with low levels are more likely to resort to screaming, complaining, and swearing.

The fourth parameter is emotional support: parents are able to express sympathy, love and warmth, but actions and emotional attitudes are aimed at promoting the physical and spiritual growth of children, they feel satisfaction and pride in the success of their children.

It turned out that the complex of traits of competent children corresponds to the presence of all four dimensions in the parental relationship - control, demand for social maturity, communication and emotional support, i.e., the optimal condition for upbringing is a combination of high demands and control with democracy and acceptance.

Thus, the most common mechanism for the formation of a child's characterological traits responsible for self-control and social competence is the internalization of the means and skills of control used by parents (Shneider L.B., 2000).

IN AND. Garbuzov (1990), noting the decisive role of educational influences in the formation of the characterological characteristics of a child, identified three types of incorrect upbringing.

Type A parenting(rejection, emotional rejection) - rejection of the individual characteristics of the child, combined with strict control, with the imperative imposition of the only correct type of behavior on him. Upbringing type A can be combined with a lack of control, complete connivance.

Type B parenting(hypersocializing) is expressed in the alarmingly suspicious conception of the parents about the child's health, his social status among his comrades, and especially at school, the expectation of success in studies and future professional activities.

Type C parenting(egocentric) - cultivating the attention of all family members to the child (the idol of the family), sometimes to the detriment of other children or family members (Garbuzov V.I., 1990).

Of the classifications that compare the characteristics of the formation of the personality of children and the styles of family education, the most interesting and detailed is the classification proposed by A.E. Lichko and E.G. Eidemiller for adolescents. The authors identified the following deviations in family parenting styles:

Hypoprotection. Characterized by a lack of guardianship and control. The child is left unattended. Little attention is paid to the teenager, there is no interest in his affairs, physical abandonment and neglect are frequent. With latent hypoprotection, control and care are formal, parents are not included in the child's life. The child's non-inclusion in the life of the family leads to antisocial behavior due to the dissatisfaction of the need for love and affection.

Dominant hyperprotection. It manifests itself in increased, heightened attention and care, excessive care and petty control of behavior, surveillance, prohibitions and restrictions. The child is not taught to be independent and responsible. This leads either to a reaction of emancipation, or to lack of initiative, inability to stand up for oneself.

Conniving hyperprotection. This is how the upbringing of the “idol of the family” is called. Parents strive to free the child from the slightest difficulty, indulge his desires, overly adore and patronize, admire his minimal success, and demand the same admiration from others. The result of such upbringing is manifested in a high level of aspirations, striving for leadership with insufficient perseverance and self-reliance.

Emotional rejection. The child is weighed down. His needs are ignored. Sometimes he is mistreated. Parents (or their “deputies” - stepmother, stepfather, etc.) consider the child a burden and show general dissatisfaction with the child. Latent emotional rejection is often encountered: parents seek to disguise the real attitude towards the child with increased care and attention to him. This parenting style has the most negative impact on a child's development.

Abusive relationships. They can appear openly when the child is ripped off the evil, using violence, or be hidden when there is a "wall" of emotional coldness and hostility between the parent and the child.

Increased moral responsibility. A child is required to be honest, decency, a sense of duty that does not correspond to his age. Ignoring the interests and capabilities of the teenager, they make him responsible for the well-being of loved ones. He is forcibly credited with the role of "head of the family." Parents hope for a special future for their child, and the child is afraid to disappoint them. Often he is entrusted with caring for younger children or the elderly.

In addition, the following deviations in the style of parenting are also distinguished: preference for female qualities (PFA), preference for male qualities (MVP), preference for children's qualities (MPC), expansion of the sphere of parental feelings (RFE), fear of loss of a child (FU), underdevelopment of parental feelings (LRF), projection of one's own undesirable qualities (PPK), the introduction of conflict between spouses into the sphere of education (VC).

AND I. Varga and V.V. Stolin distinguish four types of parental relationship:

2. Rejecting with elements of infantilization and social disability- the emotional rejection of the child, the low value of his individual characterological properties, the attitude towards the younger in comparison with the real age, the attribution of bad inclinations.

3. Symbiotic- the desire to establish close intense emotional contact with the child, to participate in all the little things in his life.

Parental attitude measurement parameters: "Acceptance - rejection", "Cooperation" (social desirability), "Symbiosis", "Authoritarian hypersocialization", "Little loser" (infantilization - disability).

Thus, as can be seen from the examples given above, there is no single basis for classifying types of family education. Sometimes the emotional components of upbringing were taken as a basis, sometimes the methods of influencing the child, sometimes parental positions, etc. Therefore, although different researchers offer different classifications, T.V. Arkhireeva believes that they can be related to each other due to the fact that certain types of upbringing that bear different names have much in common (Arkhireeva T.V., 1990).

1. 2 Child's attachment to mother

The study of the attachment of the child to the mother has been one of the leading directions of experimental psychology over the past decades. There is no stronger and closer connection - physical, spiritual, mental, than that of a mother and a child. The mother bears the baby, gives him life, feeds him with her milk, gives the first life guidelines, is tenderly attached to him, feels his pain as her own.

The theory of attachments has its roots in the psychoanalysis of Z. Freud and the theory of stage development by E. Erickson, the theory of secondary reinforcement and social learning of Dollard and Miller. However, the most powerful influence is the ethological approach of Lorenz and Derkin, who extended Lorenz's ideas about imprinting to humans. J. Bowlby developed these ideas and revealed the increased importance for the child's mental development of establishing long-term warm emotional relationships with the mother. Observational results and clinical data have shown that the absence or breakdown of such relationships leads to serious distress, the occurrence of problems related to the mental development and behavior of the child. Bowlby was the first researcher to link attachment development to child adaptation and survival .

So, the authors of the theory of attachment are historically considered to be John Bowlby and M. Ainsworth. Through their research, they have proven that an infant needs long-term care from a mother or primary caregiver. The infant needs these predictable, sequential interactions with the significant parenting person (mother) in order to formulate a sustainable self concept. In the process of this interaction, bonds are established between mother and child, attachment arises. The child begins to exhibit attachment behavior.

Attachment is the instinctive behavior of a child, and it is any form of behavior that results in the acquisition or maintenance of closeness with the "object of attachment", which is usually the person providing assistance. In the early periods of a child's life, parent-child relationships are linked, which are formed for a long time as a result of interactions between the child and the parents. Affection develops between the infant and the primary caregiver. It's a long-term relationship. The baby has a kind of "antenna" with which he finds and tunes in to the mother.

In accordance with the theory of J. Bowlby, it can be concluded that attachment functions as a kind of homeostatic mechanism for modulating anxiety. This assumption arose from consideration of the early mother-child interaction when the mother leaves the child. At that point in time, the child had not yet formed the image of the mother, and the child could not hold the object either physically or mentally, as a result of which he had a signaling feeling of anxiety. The build-up of anxiety and excitement intensifies attachment, so the purpose of attachment can be seen as helping the individual to modulate his anxiety and arousal. Caring for the child helps the child develop the ability to think and handle anxiety through their own intellectual mental processes. The caregiver also helps the child maintain control and organize internal projections. Thus, the child undergoes a process of awareness of what is happening and restraint of affective reactions.

The main function of any object of attachment is to provide a protective base and to modulate anxiety. During childhood, the protective base is used as the basis for what J. Bowlby called "a series of excursions" that continue throughout adulthood. As the addiction decreases, the excursions become longer and longer, and in the end the person can exist without anxiety, away from the object of attachment. Such excursions provide safety for creative exploration and hypothesis testing.

Thus, attachment in general form can be defined as “a close bond between two people, independent of their location and lasting in time and serving as a source of their emotional closeness” (Fahlberg). Affection is striving for closeness with another person and trying to maintain this closeness. Deep emotional connections with significant people are the foundation and source of vitality for each of us. For children, they are a vital necessity in the literal sense of the word: babies left without emotional warmth can die, despite normal care, and in older children, the development process is disrupted. Strong attachment to the parent gives the child the opportunity to develop a basic trust in the world and positive self-esteem.

Concluding the first chapter of the thesis research, we can conclude that the family is traditionally the main institution of upbringing. What the child acquires in the family in childhood, he retains throughout his subsequent life. The importance of the family as an institution of upbringing is due to the fact that the child is in it for a significant part of his life, and in terms of the duration of its impact on the personality, none of the institutions of upbringing can compare with the family. It lays the foundations of the child's personality, and by the time he enters school, he has already more than half formed as a person.

The family can act as both a positive and a negative factor in upbringing. The positive impact on the personality of the child is that no one, except for the people closest to him in the family - mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister, treats the child better, does not love him and does not care so much about him. At the same time, no other social institution can potentially do as much harm in raising children as the family can.

The family is a special kind of collective that plays the main, long-term and most important role in upbringing. Anxious mothers often have anxious children; ambitious parents often suppress their children in such a way that this leads to the appearance of an inferiority complex in them; an unrestrained father who loses his temper for the slightest reason, often, without knowing it, forms a similar type of behavior in his children, etc.

The most important for the development of a child's personality are three groups of determinants of parental attitudes: the objective influence of parents, the development of the child's personality, as well as ways of communication and relationships in the family.

Let us consider in the second chapter of our final qualifying work the influence of the personal characteristics of the parents (in particular, the mother) on the formation of the child's personality.

GlavaII. Vthe influence of the personal characteristics of the parents (mother) on the formation of the child's personality

2.1 Vzaimosligature of the parental relationship andpersonality traits of the parent

Many studies are devoted to the issue of determining the parent's choice of the style of attitude towards the child (Adler A., ​​Varga A.Ya., Bowlby D., Shefer I.). AND I. Varga (1986), along with the clinical and psychological characteristics of the child, sociocultural and family traditions, the ethological factor of the child's early contact with the mother, and the peculiarities of communication between adult family members, highlights the personality characteristics of the parent.

In many descriptions of parental attitudes and behavior, there are hidden or explicit indications of the personality traits of the parent as a source of this or that attitude or treatment of the child. So in the work of A. Adler (1975), overprotective behavior is associated with anxiety in the mother. Separately, researchers distinguish overprotective behavior associated with feelings of guilt in parents, i.e. overprotection born of guilt. A schizophrenogenic mother is, first of all, a set of personality traits, and then a specific parental behavior and attitude.

Some researchers (Bowlby D., 1979; Schaefer I.S., 1965) believe that the diversity of parental behavior is dictated by the diversity of personality needs and conflicts. By communicating with the child, the parent reproduces his experience of early childhood experiences. In relationships with children, parents play their own conflicts (Bowlby D., 1979).

Schaefer I.S. (1959) also asserts that behind a certain parental attitude there are certain personality traits of the parent. For example, he incorporated personality data from MMPI into his model of parenting. A correlation was found between the factors into which the MMPI scales break down - introversion, extraversion and the power of the "I", and the factors of the parental relationship "love - hate", "autonomy - control". So, the factor "extraversion - introversion" is a structural unit of a person's personality, and the factor "love - hate" is a parent relationship. Combinations of these structural units represent variants of human social behavior, which is indicated by the points on the circular model of social behavior.

Lovinger L. (1960) considers the API indicator (authoritarian family ideology) to be the basis of this or that parental relationship. This indicator reflects the cognitive aspect of "I" - awareness of his inner life and the inner life of the child; it, as it were, determines the level of cognitive development of the “I”. The API reflects anxiety about the manifestation of instinctual impulses and the protection of the individual from this anxiety. Aspects of this process are suppression and denial. The suppression of one's own inner life leads to the suppression of the child's inner life (Lovinger L., 1960).

Clinical and psychological characteristics of the parent also affect the specifics of the parental relationship. For example, the specificity of depressed mothers is described by Orvashel G. (1980). Depressive mothers, in comparison with normal ones, have great difficulty in establishing interactive interactions with the child, they cannot separate their needs from the needs of the child. Typically, the parenting attitude of people with depression is characterized by emotional rejection and severe control by provoking feelings of guilt and shame in the child.

A destructive style of attitude towards a child often leads to his neurotization (Zakharov A.I., 1998).

In turn, the destructive style depends, according to the same author, on such personality traits of the parent as sensitivity and hypersocialization. Sensitivity means heightened emotional sensitivity, impressionability, vulnerability, resentment, a pronounced tendency to take everything "to heart", it is easy to get upset, and hypersocialization means a keen sense of duty, obligation, difficulty in compromises.

In addition, the destructive attitude towards the child is due to the parent's lack of openness, spontaneity and ease in communication, which is most often based on the previously available traumatic experience of interpersonal relationships.

As a result of research, in addition to the aforementioned data, it was revealed that "destructive" mothers have the following personality traits: they are sensitive, prone to suspicion, distrust. They are characterized by stubbornness, rigidity of thinking. They form situationally conditioned overvalued ideas. They have problems of self-control, difficulties in relationships with others; the presence of chronic interpersonal conflicts, a decrease in biotonus, unstable somatic complaints, a tendency to irritability and conflict processing of experiences. Such mothers lack cheerfulness, optimism, and a sense of inner satisfaction. They are anxious and insecure. They are characterized by insufficient emotional responsiveness (Zakharov A.I., 1998).

This combination of character traits complicates the relationship of mothers with other people, makes these relationships unnecessarily tense and conflict. First of all, this affects the sphere of family and domestic relations, where the mother shows excessive adherence to principles and inflexibility, inability to reconsider her position and make concessions and compromises.

In "destructive" fathers, distinct psychopathological changes are not traced. They have traits of some minority, passivity and gentleness of character, which are the result of an incomplete family in childhood, the insufficient role of the father and the substitute influence of the mother. In addition, anxiety, insecurity, guilt, conservatism and moralizing are expressed.

Both spouses are internally conflicted, they have a low degree of self-acceptance.

A.I. Zakharov believes that neurotic changes in the emerging personality of children arise as a result of an unsuccessfully and dramatically experienced experience of interpersonal relationships, the inability to create an acceptable "I - concept" with the consequent instability of self-esteem, painful-sensitive, emotionally unstable and anxious. uncertain "I". Bowlby D. (1979) also points to this.

The constructive style of parental relationship to a child is influenced by such personality traits as:

The desire to fully reveal their inclinations and abilities;

Overcoming egocentrism through involvement in activities, the purpose of which is outside the person himself;

creativity, creativity;

- the ability to full and lively experience, the ability to feel subtly, selflessly and unselfishly;

moderate anxiety;

the ability to take responsibility;

a tendency to introspection, reflection (Spivakovskaya A.S., 2000).

The style of communication with a child is reproductive, it is largely determined by family traditions. Parents reproduce the style of upbringing that was characteristic of their own childhood, they often repeat the style of their mothers. The characterological characteristics of parents are one of the essential determinants of parenting. In the work of A. Adler, the type of anxious mother was first described, establishing with the child has a symbiotic relationship that takes care of and protects him, thereby paralyzing his own activity and independence of the child .

U.Bronfenbrenner (according to Arkireeva T.V., 1990) tried to establish a connection between dominance, leadership in the family by one of the parents and the child's activity, his independence. He believes that the child develops a sense of responsibility and independence if the family is ruled by a parent of the same sex as the child. Boys are more disciplined if the father is in charge of discipline in the house, girls are more active if the mother's authority is stronger. But the most favorable conditions for the development of the activity and independence of children are formed in a family where both parents actively participate in the upbringing of the child, but behave differently: one takes on a supporting function, the other a disciplinary one (Arkhireeva T.V., 1990).

Most researchers of the problem of neuroses believe that the destructive style of parental attitude towards the child leads to the emergence of anomalies in the formation of personality in childhood (Zakharov A.I., 1998).

So, one of the founders of Russian psychiatry I.M. Balinsky (1859) believed that a strict, unfair attitude towards children in a family is an important reason for the development of their mental painful state; an overly condescending attitude is the cause of over-the-top emotionality in children; making excessive demands is the cause of the mental weakness of the child. I.A. Sikorsky (1884) came to the conclusion that cruel upbringing contributes to the emergence of a child's feelings of fear; pampering (relaxing) education forms subjectivity and inconsistency of character in children; neglect of upbringing leads to difficulties in upbringing in general. V.N. Myasishchev (1934, 1939), E.K. Yakovleva, R.A. Zachepitsky (1960), S.G. Feinberg (1967) point out that upbringing under strict but contradictory requirements and prohibitions is a predisposing factor for obsessive-compulsive disorder and psychasthenia; upbringing by the type of excessive attention and satisfaction of all the child's desires leads to the development of hysterical character traits with egocentrism, increased emotionality and lack of self-control; the presentation of unbearable demands on children is recognized as the etiological factor of neurasthenia.

In the works of foreign authors, one can also find confirmation of the enormous role played by the parental attitude in the occurrence of disorders and deviations in the mental development of a child. A. Adler (1928, 1930) notes that pampering education contributes to the development of feelings of inferiority and a tendency to dominate, up to tyranny. S. Blumenfeld, I. Alexandresco, T. Georgiu (1970) believe that parental hyperprotection or radical neglect leads to instability and aggressiveness in children. B. Berelson, G. Steiner, summarizing the results of many researchers, consider it established that the less affection, care and warmth a child receives, the slower he matures as a person, the more he is inclined to passivity and apathy, and the more likely that in the future he will develop a weak character (Zakharov A.I., 1998).

The personal characteristics of parents have a significant impact on the nature of their relationship to the child. A striking example confirming this position is the concept of the schizophrenogenic mother (Fromm - Reichmann, 1948). A schizophrenogenic mother is a despotic, domineering woman who emotionally rejects her child and at the same time causes him severe anxiety, interferes with the normal development of her child due to a strong need to control other people's lives. She strives to be impeccable in her actions and demands the same from others. Often this woman chooses a husband who is unable to meet such high standards of behavior and at the same time cannot resist her control. Therefore, he passively isolates himself from the family and allows his wife to surround the child with comprehensive care. The child is teased with promises that all his needs will be met without effort, while at the same time insulted by petty control. In the end, the child succumbs and abandons the outside world for the sake of security, which is promised by the almighty, conniving mother, hiding her own hatred and resentment for the demonstrated care (B. Suran, J. Rizzo, 1979).

On the basis of clinical observations and experimental psychological studies, A. I. Zakharov (A. I. Zakharov, 1998) describes the changes in the personality of the parents, which relate mainly to the sphere of "I". They are not sharply expressed and do not lead to gross violations of social adaptation, disinhibited and asocial forms of behavior. Both mother and father share a number of common personality changes that can be grouped as follows.

"Weakness of the personality" - increased vulnerability, difficulty in making decisions, suspiciousness, stuck on experiences.

“Rigidity of personality” is a painfully sharpened sense of responsibility, duty, duty, inflexibility, inertia and conservatism, difficulty in accepting and playing roles.

"Closed personality" - lack of sociability and emotional responsiveness, restraint in revealing feelings of love and tenderness, suppression of the external expression of feelings, the predominance of self-protective type of reactions in response to the action of frustrating situations.

"Conflict personality" - a constant feeling of internal dissatisfaction, resentment, mistrust, stubbornness and negativism.

Also A.I. Zakharov gives a comprehensive description of the personality traits of mothers whose children suffer from neurosis (A.I. Zakharov, 1982). Along with sensitivity, anxiety and self-doubt, these mothers are also distinguished by excessive punctuality, adherence to principles in moral requirements, rigidity of thinking, intolerance, a tendency to form overvalued ideas, high conflicts in the sphere of interpersonal relations, and insufficient emotional responsiveness. The fathers in these observations, according to the MMPI, came to the fore the traits of softness, passivity, some minority of the general background of mood (A.I. Zakharov, 1982). The result of such personality traits is a perverted role-playing structure of the family, in which the mother is overly "masculine" - not emotionally responsive and empathic enough, but demanding and categorical, and the father is "feminine" - soft, vulnerable, unable to control the situation. It is obvious that parents with similar, characterological characteristics present the child with distorted patterns for identification and assimilation of social patterns of behavior. Both parents also have a similar structure of unmet needs - mainly frustration of the need for emotional closeness, a keen desire for independence combined with fear of change, a feeling of internal discomfort, internal conflict and dissatisfaction with oneself. However, mental fatigue, inadequate ways of self-affirmation do not allow parents to adequately see and accept themselves as they are, to look for constructive ways to resolve their own conflicts. A child in such a family acts as a "scapegoat" taking over the projections of parental conflicts, and his neurosis becomes a clinical expression of the parents' personal problems (A.I. Zakharov, 1982) .

In a study of children with nocturnal enuresis, A. Ya.Varga convincingly showed how a child's neurotic symptom becomes conditionally desirable for parents, allowing them to displace unhappiness in the sphere of their own intimate relationships (1985) .

The pathological sharpness of the parents' characterological traits gives rise to specific features of the attitude towards the child. Parents, for example, do not notice in themselves those traits of character and behavior, to the slightest manifestation of which in a child they react affectively and painfully and persistently try to eradicate. Thus, parents unconsciously project their problems onto the child and then react to them as if they were their own. So, quite often “delegation” - a persistent desire to make a child “himself” (developed, erudite, decent, socially successful) - is a compensation for feelings of inferiority, incapacity, experience of oneself as a failure. The projection of parental conflicts onto the child does not prejudge, however, the style of parental attitude: in one case, this will result in an openly emotional rejection of the child, which does not correspond to the ideal parental image; in another case, it will take a more sophisticated form: according to the protective mechanism of the formation of the reaction, it will turn into hyperprotection or hyperprotection. Conflict attitude towards a teenage child is very aggravated, especially if there is still a small child in the family: parents usually tend to overestimate the advantages of the younger one, against the background of which the teenager's shortcomings - real and imaginary - are perceived by the parents as unbearable. Rejection or emotional rejection is especially dramatic for both sides in single-parent families, where the mother is haunted by the fear that the child will reproduce the father's unwanted traits - "I'm afraid that the genes will affect." Latent rejection can be masked here by hyperprotection, in extreme cases - by dominant hyperprotection.

Hypersociality, paranoid personality traits, combined with the frustration of the need for love in the mother, who herself has an unfavorable experience of relationships in the grandparent family, give rise to ambivalent feelings towards the child, most often her daughter. There is a fairly reasoned point of view that the reproduction of the upbringing style from generation to generation is a general rule (A.I. Zakharov, 1982) .

Socio-cultural traditions are of great importance for the formation of a certain style of communication with children in the family. L. Laos analyzed in detail the process of teaching children by mothers in American families of Anglo-Saxons and Chicano - immigrants from Latin America. It turned out that all other things being equal (level of education and financial situation), the style of communication during training is sharply different. Mothers of Anglo-Saxon descent preferred verbal explanations, praising and encouraging their children more often. Chicano mothers relied more on negative reinforcement, used physical control, made more use of visual cues and simple modeling. In general, the learning style in Hispanic families is more directive and non-verbal ( L . Laosa , 1980).

Thus, the analysis of scientific research allows us to conclude that there is a connection between the personality of the parent and his attitude towards the child, as well as a connection between the personality characteristics of the parent and the behavior of the child. However, empirical data on the ratio the personality traits of the parents and the parenting styles of the child are clearly not enough.

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The normal development of the child and the formation of successfully functioning defense mechanisms is possible only with good adaptation to the social environment. Isolation from parents and fellows, even among primates, makes it impossible to form a feeling of love, leads to the emergence of persistent fear and aggressiveness, and becomes an obstacle to socialization. The born child, almost without any independence, is at the same time part of the dyad. Another part of the dyad is the mother, the main condition for the child's life and development. The mother shapes him as a future one, able to withstand environmental changes and deal with stress. In this, the attachment or feeling of love that arises between the baby and his mother plays a fundamental role. The formed emotional connection between the mother and the child encourages him to look for protection from the parent in any manifestation of danger, to master all the necessary skills under her guidance, without which he will not develop the sense of security and confidence in his capabilities necessary for life. The attachment development process is based on a number of innate abilities of the child with which he is already born. The newborn is prepared to communicate with him, all his senses are functioning, although they are developed to varying degrees. From birth, he tries to establish contact with the person whose face he perceives with a smile. He has been following the red ball with his gaze since the 3-4th week of life. At the same time, he can distinguish his mother's face only from 3 months. The development of vision in an infant is very important, since gaze plays a major role in communicating with the mother. During the first 6 months, visual contact is established between the mother and the baby. It greatly facilitates interaction in a dyad. In the event that the mother is burdened with other serious concerns, upset or sick, it is through this contact that signals can come that will disturb the baby.

The newborn hears well. He flinches at the noise. Turns his head towards the sounding voice. In the first month of life, he already has a positive reaction to the human voice. He does not like noisy traffic, loud sounds of radio, television.

The sense of smell develops early, it is essential both for recognizing the mother and for developing attachment to her. Already on the 3rd-6th day of life, the child can smell the one of the two gauze bandages that was on his mother's chest. The soothing effect of maternal scent is used to treat sleep disorders in a child, for which a mother's handkerchief is placed on his pillow. Sweetness in a newly born child evokes a satisfied smile, salty - a grimace of displeasure, garlic - disgust. The newborn is very sensitive to touch, from some he is aroused, others soothe him. Beginning at 10 days of age, infants may experience manifestations of sadness and joy. He is anxious about being hungry and looks satisfied after feeding. At first, these feelings are very primitive, but their progress is noticeable even in the first year of life.

Climbing into the arms of the mother, the child seeks to explore her face and other parts of the body. It is a great pleasure for the baby to be with the mother, to play with her. Since the baby is already ready for communication, he needs to meet halfway. For her part, the mother responds to his crying, takes care of the baby, plays with him. The child imitates the movements of the parents very early. So, imitating his father, a baby at 2-20 days of age shows his tongue. However, strong attachment can only arise if the mother responds effectively to the crying of the child from pain, hunger or boredom. At the same time, to calm the baby, she will have to stimulate him with the sound of her voice, giving him the opportunity to suck on a breast or a pacifier, swinging on her hands or in a crib. The development of positive emotions, which are important for the emergence of love on the one hand, and the strengthening of vitality, on the other, are facilitated by playing with the child. These games are in the nature of a dialogue, in which the interacting people exchange verbal (mother) and non-verbal signals (mother and child). Babies who are quickly reassured by their mothers cry far fewer than those who are not approached. Thus, the strength of the child's attachment, that is, the experience of his security and, to a large extent, confidence, is determined by two necessary qualities of the mother. First, the willingness to immediately help the child when he is worried (crying). Secondly, the activity of the mother's interaction with the child and the ability to communicate with him.

The main factors of effective maternal care that ensure the normal development of a child are:
- mother as a source of sensory and other stimuli, that is, swaddling, affection, conversation, being in the child's field of vision, playing with him;
- mother as a source of satisfaction of the child's needs (in food, desired items);
- the mother as an intermediary between the child and the stimuli of the external environment, weakening or less often intensifying their impact.

L. J. Yarrow (1965) indicates a significant relationship between stimuli emanating from the mother and the simultaneous development of the child during infancy. At the same time, he determined developmental progress using the Ketell test for children at the age of 6 months. Four factors of maternal care are highly correlated with developmental test scores: developmental stimulation, stimuli, and physical contact.

The ability to withstand stress (the child's reactions to moments of frustration in the test setting and his characteristic reactions to the usual unpleasant moments of daily life), in all likelihood, largely depends on how the mother can adapt the child's external environment to his individual characteristics. The correlation between the maternal share in the adaptation of stimuli and the child's ability to withstand stress is +0.85. Other factors related to the level of satisfaction of the child's needs and the reduction of tension were also significantly associated with the child's ability to cope with stress. The degree of physical intimacy was of particular importance: r = +0.66. The nature of the physical contact also had to do with the child's ability to remain calm in stressful situations; the correlation is +0.57 between the environmental factor, the ability to withstand stress, and two elements reflecting the nature of physical contact (the desire to "calm" the child and mother's sensitivity). Several factors of an emotional order also belong to this category of child's behavior - the intensity of emotional relationships: r = +0.65; respect for the individual: r = +0.62; positive reactions: r +0.57. Obviously, from the very first months of life, the child knows when it is possible to expect (or, conversely, not to expect) actions on the part of the mother that entail the satisfaction of one or another of his desires or calm him down. In early childhood, recurring situations that lead to anxiety or tension do not make the child able to withstand stress. A child who is rarely tested by difficulties (in most cases, needs are met in a timely manner), tolerates stress better than one who has repeatedly experienced the tension of negative emotions. Stabilization of the mental state, which reduces the risk of adverse consequences in the event of difficult life circumstances in children, is facilitated by the principles of care that do not change by parents and the invariable “image of the mother”.

In the preceding decades, the prevailing opinion was that maternal care was sufficient for the formation of the child's adaptive behavior. The tenderness, kindness, and selfless concern for the child shown by the father were viewed only as an imitation of female behavior and not necessary for the upbringing of the child. In fact, there are more similarities than differences in fatherhood and motherhood, for they are the product of an exchange of feelings with their own parents of both sexes. It has been proven that the active participation of the father in the preparation of childbirth reduces the number of complications in them, reduces the susceptibility of the newborn to stress. The relationship of the baby, which is formed not in the “mother-child” dyad, but in the “father-mother-child” triad, contributes to the fact that the baby is benevolent and cheerful, begins to smile early. In the initial period of adaptation, not only the mother, but also the father must get acquainted with the degree of the child's readiness for life, influence him in order to establish feedback with him. A study of young children in the presence of a mother or father and without them found an equally stimulating effect on both parents. It is clear that the figure of the father, like the mother, makes it easier for the child to experience a difficult situation. The father also influences the child not only directly, but also through the mother and through the family climate of which he is one of the creators. Some authors go further, arguing that not only parents raise children, but the whole family has a direct impact on the development and direction of the maturation processes taking place in the child. They believe that the close relatives that make up the extended family (grandparents, brothers, sisters, cousins, cousins, etc.) are involved, just as society as a whole does. Social stimuli received by the child from the people around him release reflex instinctive manifestations.

Psychoanalytic theory explains the mother-child relationship by the dependence of the infant on the mother. The ethological concept brings to the fore the formation of a strong emotional connection, which is an innate motivational system. In accordance with this understanding, both mother and child strive for close physical contact. One of the mechanisms for uniting a baby and its mother is imprinting (the innate ability of animals to follow an object). The newborn searches for intimacy through crying (“come here”) or smiling (“don't go away). It is possible that the roots of this were laid before birth by exposing the fetus to the sounds of the mother's heart. Imprinting (imprinting),
what happened in the fetus is associated with the mother's heartbeats, so they calm the baby. Having a baby is a traumatic situation. He has to defend himself, reducing the level of emotional stress. The hugs (touches) of the mother and the sounds of her heart, which, when she approaches, are again clearly audible, are sources of a feeling of safety for the baby, allowing to normalize the level of his internal tension. In the formation of maternal feelings, the critical period is 24 hours after birth. It is very important that the newborn is in his arms no later than this.
in the mother, then the attachment that has arisen will be especially strong. In the early stages of the onset of attachment between mother and child, close bodily contact between them is of particular importance. In this regard, it is wrong not to take a crying child in your arms. It is necessary to satisfy his need for contact, as a result of which a sensory impression is formed - love. If, nevertheless, the child is not picked up, he will not cry, he will have “good behavior” (practically indifferent), but his emotional development will be disrupted and make him insufficiently protected from stress. Disruption of the communication system between mother and child can make the mother insensitive to the needs of the baby. The mother may decide that he is safe. In this case, she will not provide him with everything he needs to form attachment.

From the 6th month, physical contact is replaced by another form of communication. Since that time, the voice and visual image of the parent carry the same positive emotional charge as physical contact. A crying child, seeing or hearing a mother, calms down. The frightening situation still causes him to need physical contact, but the threshold for such a reaction rises with age. Thus, not only mothers raise children, but children, for their part, seek to control the mother's behavior, attracting her attention if she does not have time to fulfill their desires. Ethologists see the efforts of mother and child to be together for the best adaptation to life. The mother will make the relatively helpless child safe from dangers and meet his needs.

Thus, there are a number of prerequisites for an infant's mental health:
1) a healthy relationship between mother and child;
2) high-quality relationship between mother and child, leading to healthy physical, cognitive and emotional development;
3) a positive relationship between mother and child, teaching the ability to trust and reach out to others;
4) reciprocity and synchronicity of the relationship "mother-child" as the main element of the positive nature of attachment between them;
5) the irreplaceability of the primary caregiver of the infant (it is desirable that this was the mother from birth and without interruptions);
6) providing parents of their children with opportunities for optimal development.

A. W. Burgess (1978) formulated early signs of persistent and deep attachment, and also drew attention to the signs of weak, poorly forming attachment.

Signs of persistent attachment of a mother to her child:
- seeks and maintains eye contact;
- pronounces words with special intonations;
- touches the child, caresses him;
- often holds in his arms, positions according to the shapes of his body, presses to himself;
- has positive feelings.

Signs of the child's strong attachment to the mother:
- returns the gaze and maintains eye contact;
- turns around, becomes alert, tries to imitate the tone of the mother's voice, or makes sounds for the mother himself;
- is alert, smiles, seems calmed down;
- takes the form of the mother's body, seems relaxed - adapts well;
- has positive feelings (liveliness, calmness), can calm down if crying.

Early signs of a poorly forming mother's attachment to her child:
- avoids eye contact or is "floating";
- rarely speaks directly to the child, does not use special intonations;
- avoids touching and caressing;
- rarely holds in his arms, does not hold him to himself, keeps the child away from him;
- the mother's body itself is not flexible;
- has negative feelings (not expressed explicitly or angry).

Early signs of a child's poorly forming attachment to the mother:
- avoids eye contact or is only fleeting;
- turns away, does not return vocalization, does not try to provoke the mother to vocalize;
- turns away, does not react, cries;
- inflexible, turns away, not pliable, restless, crying, does not adapt well;
- has negative or unexpressed feelings (drowsiness or anxiety), if crying, cannot calm down.

Unfortunately, there are obstacles that can prevent a mother from raising her child properly. Establishing a deep emotional connection within the dyad between mother and child can be hampered by the immaturity of the mother's feelings and character, her imbalance. The young (up to 18 years) age of mothers can be an obstacle. In half of the cases, conception occurs by chance, the pregnancy turns out to be unplanned, and the child is undesirable not only for the expectant mother, her sexual partner, but also for relatives (13.7% of them are trying to formalize the abandonment of their child). Naturally, social and psychological unpreparedness for fulfilling the duties of a mother will not allow a woman to create a positive emotional environment necessary for the formation of deep affection between mother and child. Young and older but emotionally immature mothers have in the past been deprived, rejected by their parents, or raised in dysfunctional families. They can be infantile, egocentrically focused on their affairs, incapable of love and fair relations between people. When a child appears, they lack warmth and tenderness in handling him, understanding his basic needs. These mothers are not able to establish strong relationships with the fathers of their children, to create a favorable emotional atmosphere in the family, which also hinders the successful development of children. An undeveloped gestational dominant, that is, insufficient readiness and determination
become a mother. An unloved or unwanted child does not evoke the positive emotions that are so necessary for the formation of attachment, a sense of security, confidence in their well-being and further development. The mother's refusal to breastfeed, or the impossibility of this, deprives the baby of natural, well-assimilated food, which supplies everything necessary for physical development and strengthening the immune system. However, the absence of lactation in the mother is often a sign of severe or repeated stress, as well as one or another disease. All of these changes in the mother can induce emotional disturbances in the baby, exacerbated by inadequate body contact due to the fact that the baby is not being applied to the breast. According to some data, only 5% of mothers are aware that breastfeeding strengthens psychological contact in the “mother-child” system. Much evidence has been cited in favor of the lack of emotional and sensory stimulation in an early child
age, especially when separated from parents, will certainly cause serious disturbances in his emotional and, ultimately, in general mental development. Not separation from the mother, but inappropriate care that does not provide love, attention and safety is more harmful to the child.

The psychological state of modern mothers with children under 3 years old is far from stable. In one of the studies it was shown that 40% of them are in conflict with their husbands, 35% are not satisfied with their work, 30% are afraid of loneliness. For half of these mothers, the child turned out to be unwanted, and for a third, after the birth of the child, relations between the parents worsened. As a result, unwanted children lag behind in their indicators of psychomotor development and the ability to adapt to the social environment. It becomes even more difficult if the mother is suffering from neurosis or psychosis. It is especially difficult to provide care for women who develop depression after childbirth. The ability to respond to a child's needs requires significant mental and physical resources, which depressed women lack. It is believed that the number of such mothers is significant and ranges between 26 and 40%. The most frequent consequence of upbringing by mothers with persistent pathologically low mood is the violation of relationships in the dyad, which subsequently leads to an altered emotional response: emotional instability, fears, and high separation anxiety. All these disorders in most cases in young children are manifested by somatic, and essentially psychosomatic disorders: sleep disorders, eating disorders, pain symptoms, etc.