A woman will live 30 years longer. Males of the second freshness, or males also have an expiration date. That is why it is important to marry young, and not ...

01.05.2019

The age of 30 is considered a kind of borderline when a man enters adulthood. In childhood, each person can clearly define who he wants to be. But years pass, few can withstand the pressure of circumstances. People stop understanding where they want to move on. This time interval can be considered the period of maximum vulnerability.

At the age of 30-35, there is a reassessment of values. Rather, a man refuses some of them and replaces them with others. For the first time, he begins to ask himself questions: what he lives for and what he could achieve. In especially difficult cases, these thoughts can deprive him of sleep.

The psychology of self-criticism

Men are earners by nature. They have to put up with increased demands from society. That is why young people by the age of thirty-five begin to wonder: have they conquered any peaks, and what they can boast to others and to themselves. For a few people, this kind of thinking leads to positive emotions.

Usually, by the age of thirty, a man has time to take important steps - to get an education, find a job, get married and have children. If any of these points have not been met, a representative of the strong half of humanity begins to reproach himself for the missed opportunities and wasted years. Someone is able to parse in detail the questions that arise, while others are afraid and even panic. Such people do not seek to accept the situation, but want to run away from it or be distracted.

The first danger

The problem of transition to a crisis, 30-year-old age remains relevant if a man leaves it unresolved. He is interested in computer games, refuses to communicate with loved ones and withdraws into himself. Physical weakness, conflicts with his wife, serious quarrels with friends and at work are noted.

The consequence is a possible change in lifestyle, when a man leaves his family, quits his job and looks for himself in other directions.

Important! The behavior that is atypical for a man is explained by his desire to set priorities. He intends to understand himself.

The second important point: evaluating his own achievements, a man, at least 30, at least 33 years old, involuntarily compares himself with his peers. He looks at the results achieved by classmates, work colleagues and just unfamiliar men. What criteria does he use to assess his success? Looking at those around him, a man thinks about how he looks against their background, what they have achieved and what he has achieved himself.

Modern society regards a person as successful if he has achieved great results in the social or professional sphere.

That is why generally accepted symbols are used, including:

the presence of a separate apartment;
Personal car;
successful career;
high paying job.

It turns out that these are mainly the professional and financial aspects of the issue. The ability to feel happy in your personal life does not count. And all because society does not welcome it.

Duration of the crisis

The crisis of 30 years for men has no clear boundaries, since they are individual. Someone can spend years in a depressed state, while others come out of it in just a couple of months.

Factors such as:

support of the immediate environment, in particular the family;
monetary stability;
character traits of a person and his temperament;
professional status;
the role played by a person in society.

The depth of the crisis and its duration also depend on the complexes that could persist in the mind of a person from adolescence.

Possible manifestations

Based on the above, let's try to highlight the main symptoms of a male crisis:

feeling sorry for yourself. It can manifest itself in different ways. Depending on his character, a man can bring his emotions to the nearest people, expressing regular dissatisfaction and complaints, as well as experiencing them inside himself;
depressed state. A man who was always outwardly successful, at 35, suddenly changes his mood. He has bouts of depression;
feeling empty... The crisis of thirty is accompanied by a feeling of emptiness, hopelessness, and loss. It is especially dangerous to leave a person alone during such periods;
feeling of being trapped when a person feels trapped, at a dead end. He thinks that no one is able to help him;
dissatisfaction with life when a person is sure that fate has treated him unfairly.

The inconsistency and lack of consistency in actions and behavior in general should also be distinguished among the characteristic symptoms. Sometimes there are moments in life, to which the representative of the stronger sex reacts outside the box. Others have the impression that he has mental problems. But again, the midlife crisis and all sorts of hormonal changes are to blame for this.

If the described condition goes far, the following signs appear:

loss of interest in a previous hobby. A person is in a state of apathy, does not want to do anything;
the environment is changing. People whose opinion was authoritative lose their importance;
giving up money, a successful career and fame;
unpredictable, eccentric behavior;
mood swings. Sentimentality is combined with irritability. For example, a man can watch a sentimental film and cry, but not even a minute passes when he clings to some trifle and swears at his loved ones;
hypochondria. This applies as much as possible to the genital area. The man thinks he has lost his masculine strength. To prove otherwise, he goes to extremes;
critical attitude to their own appearance. A man finds fault with his appearance, tries to find wrinkles, gray hair in himself. He expresses irritation about the appeared tummy;
constant worries about the future. The midlife crisis is pushing a man to talk more and more about death and take stock of his existence.

What should I do?

It is necessary to inspire a man that what is happening in his life is nothing more than a summing up, a transition to a qualitatively new stage. This is a great opportunity to get rid of what you don't need. At the same time, he can accept the good that has necessarily come into his reality over the past years.

do not despair and try to overcome yourself. If a man wants to change the environment, work, make repairs at home, then let him follow his desires. You can also get rid of bad habits, often go on vacation with family and do any kind of sports;
each of us has our own old dreams. If a man dreamed of something in his youth, for example, to master a new profession or jump with a parachute, you can think about translating plans into reality;
during a period of mental weakness, a person is usually focused on himself and his experiences. However, at such moments, the interests of loved ones may suffer, so you need to try to pay attention to them. A man must remember that he is still the head of the family, on whom the people closest to him hope. He is still responsible for their fate and further existence;
it is very important to learn to enjoy any little things that bring joy to one degree or another.

Influence on the genital area

The problem has some physiological basis. She is the male climax. The lack of awareness of some of the stronger sex leads to the fact that most of them do not know about the existence of such a phenomenon. And it is not customary in our country to discuss such things. Even experts, in general, prefer to keep silent about this.

Hormonal changes in the body take place. The production of sex hormones is reduced. This process is called andropause. It is accompanied by a decrease in libido. Interest in the opposite sex decreases, and this is normal. The peak of sexual activity is typical for young guys.

Someone perceives this phenomenon calmly, while others, frankly, go crazy. Instead of switching to something else, such men look for reasons in those around them. If a person is married, then the spouse may become the target of his attacks. If by that time she begins to grow old, to gain weight, it seems to her husband that the lack of desire is explained by this.

As a result, the spouse starts looking for side adventures. The one who is conscious does not leave the family. But there are also many who begin to behave in accordance with the proverb: "gray hair in a beard - a devil in a rib." Unreasonable behavior under these circumstances can lead to health problems.

Wife behavior

A beloved woman will have to be patient and help a loved one. It is extremely important for spouses to talk during an unfavorable period for the family. The husband needs to feel important, significant to his family. The love and care of loved ones will help him quickly get out of endless experiences. It is necessary to make him understand that he is necessary for his family and friends in any case, regardless of his success.

Finally

Men rarely go to psychologists, so more often attempts to persuade a spouse to go to a specialist do not give any results. On the other hand, the introduction of variety into family life has a good effect, when joint trips to theaters, a swimming pool are organized, there is a passion for extreme sports, etc. And it is also recommended to try something new in sex with a partner, this always brings closer and gives new breath to relationships ...

All these measures are aimed at showing that life does not end at 30!

Until recently, I did not consider it necessary to write seriously about the age-old women's war against aging. And not because this is such a complex topic, on the contrary, it seemed to me to be researched and chewed up and down. The best (and most offensive) definition of this process that I have come across is the rat race. This is what an attempt to resist the natural course of life looks like.

But one day this worn-out topic suddenly becomes relevant for you or your friends, and then the realization comes close: Lord, what kind of torment are we dooming ourselves to.

According to my observations, at least three crises await us in middle age.

The first is after about thirty-seven years. The female body, on the way to forty, begins to behave in a monstrous way. I will not say exactly what happens to hormones there, but even the most conserved "girls" start to go crazy. They get fat, the skin sags, some suddenly have acne. In general, everything that can spoil, from hair to character. And this is the moment when a woman is faced with her first choice: at the cost of tremendous efforts to try to stay “in girls” or relax and go to her aunt. All you need to do is give up those five to seven kilograms that have grown on the sides; allow yourself to wrinkle between the eyebrows and near the lips; come to terms with the floating chin line. Letting go of the reins is easy and pleasant, but most prefer to resist. Not everyone has a personal life by this time, and according to Russian concepts, aunts do not get married, so go around as you like, and should roll back five years. And the public will not understand: how is it not to fight for youth ?! And besides, a woman suddenly realizes that she has nothing left of fertility, and if she wanted another child, then she can't pull further, and this is also a reason to take care of herself seriously.

There is good news for the defiant ladies: at forty, something flips in the hormonal balance, and life is definitely getting better. You are no longer a thirty-year-old young lady, but so far a "girl of undetermined age", without a serious stamp of aging on your face, if, of course, you have taken enough money to the beautician.

But after forty-five, the situation repeats itself in a more severe version. The body again decides for itself that it is "time", and begins to gain weight, hurt and deteriorate. And again you must choose, acutely aware of the futility of war with time. Face and body demand to get involved in the next round, in which it is much harder to resist and impossible to win.

And you, apparently, will no longer be able to have children: although the climax has not yet come, but somehow it is already clear that a huge stage of life has been completed. For so many years this door has been open for you, you are accustomed to the possibility of having a baby at any time. Now, you know, that's it. The mere thought of this leads some women to bestial despair, while others experience it quite calmly.

Let's say you choose diet, sports, and some kind of plastic surgery. Now you are more or less wonderful "canned food", and the charm entirely depends on the strength of your personality: some are still good, while others become unimaginably boring and sometimes unpleasant, because girls' tricks have exhausted themselves a long time ago, and women's tricks have not worked out too much. you were hiding from your growing up.

And by the end of the sixth decade, a climax comes to everyone, and then either hard braces and an unimaginable daily feat, or finally relax: you have grown old.

When you realize all this coming hell, only one question arises: what the hell ?! Why do I need this and why does the world around me demand it?

Because the world (yes!) Expects from you the longest possible youth. A woman who, at thirty-seven, refuses Botox and gradually becomes covered with wrinkles, causes bewilderment, bordering on indignation. You definitely won't be able to look twenty-five, but why don't you try ?! Do you want to go to the second grade? It is only in the male world that there is a saying about an old horse that does not spoil the furrows, something about noble gray hair and old wine that improves over the years. And for women there is only one possibility: if you get older, get out of the race. You are now an aunt, not a woman.

And it would be fine if it was only a dictate of public opinion, one can not give a damn about it with great pleasure, the inner strength is enough for this. But some primal fear wakes up: ahhh, old women are thrown into the trash! We urgently need to adapt, mimic a young competitive female!

Girls. Hey. You will not be eaten as a useless member of the pack. You can retain youth only if you yourself want to. It is really a great joy to see a toned face and a slender body in the mirror from year to year. But if you are satisfied with the natural course of life, and there is not the slightest desire to fight with time, you can allow yourself to grow old. From this you will not stop being a woman, no matter what your fears whisper. And do not be afraid of public opinion, because adults are you, as you decide your fate, it will be right.

Do you think that all the best is over? But at thirty-something, Maria Sklodowska-Curie received the Nobel Prize, Catherine Zeta-Jones found her love and got married, and Cindy Crawford gave birth to two children. And do not hesitate, 30 years is the time when your desires come true!

17:58 8.10.2015

At twenty it seems that you can move mountains. You manage to work, and pass the exams successfully, and have fun with your friends until the morning. Any undertaking is seen as promising, and life is presented in bright juicy shades.

But time runs inexorably. Before you can look back, you are already thirty. Yes, you already have the experience of mistakes and victories, you do not dream of the impossible, but try to tell yourself the truth. In transport, you often hear a carelessly offensive "woman" in your direction. The first wrinkles appear, and you carefully take care of yourself in order to look at least 27. And the courage inherent in carefree youth has disappeared somewhere: you are no longer drawn to hang out, you want peace and intimacy. Are these symptoms the first bells of maturity?

During this period, you first feel the "age limit": sometimes it seems to you that it is too late to start life anew! After all, you are a big girl and you have no right to make a mistake, and youthful frivolity is no longer suitable.

When applying for a new job, you often come across the age limit - up to 30. It turns out that those who have stepped over the Rubicon have already been ordered the way to prestigious firms? And if you didn’t have time to start a family before the age of 30, did your train irrevocably leave? Has youth really flown by, and only routine awaits you ahead?

Not true! Each age has its own advantages. And your thirty can be called "golden time". Of course, it's too late to start a career as a top model, but now you are devoid of the complexes and doubts inherent in a carefree youth. Take an objective look at your age! Add your own experience and life wisdom to your natural data - and you will get a formula for success. And believe that 30 years is a period for the implementation of our plans!

It seemed that fate had treated this girl unfairly. She was born into a market trader's family and lost her mother too early. Then there was an orphanage, where the baby was taught prayers and the basics of tailoring. She could not imagine how this experience would be useful to her in life! Having barely reached the age of majority, the girl goes to work in a clothing store, and in the evenings she sings for the soul in a small restaurant. The singer, however, did not work out of her, but she acquired fans-patrons. With their help, she opens a small shop of hats. Then, borrowing money at your own peril and risk, he becomes the owner of a fashion boutique. At that time she had already turned 30. This is how the more than half-century history of the ascent and fame of Gabriel-Coco Chanel began.

It's never too late to change your life for the better! And if you have not had time to get a higher education or get a decent job, now is the time to do it. Psychologists assure that after thirty comes ... the second youth. The children have already grown a little, and you have time to take care of yourself. Realize yourself as a person - do what you have dreamed of all your life. Moreover, the period of formation has passed a long time ago, and you know perfectly well what your soul is in and in which area you can maximally open up. By the way, note that you are not starting from scratch, because you are already hardened by difficulties and you know that success is not spontaneous.

Many thirty-year-old women are embarrassed to "sit down at a desk." This is a false shame! First, a college degree offers career prospects. Secondly, the circle of communication is expanding, other hobbies and knowledge appear. After all, when you are interesting to yourself, then those around you will not be bored with you. This is especially true for mothers who are housewives. Unfortunately, many parents cease to be authorities for their teenage children: what is the point of consulting with a mother who has not taken place in social life.

And try not to dwell on the problems. If fear, bad experiences, or self-doubt are holding you back from success, try this exercise. On one piece of paper, write your merits: experience, hard work, dedication, desire to succeed, mobility of character. On the other, describe a difficult situation and a way to overcome it. For example: "This situation taught me ...", "The most difficult thing for me was ...", "In order to prevent the repetition of the mistake, I will do ...". And be sure to believe in yourself.

In addition, women after thirty have a number of advantages over their young competitors. And bet on these qualities! So, your ingredients for success:

Self-organization. You already know how to control yourself, you will not allow emotions to prevail over reason in the service. This means that you can control the situation. In your 30s, you know very well that there are no insoluble problems, and any mistake at work can be prevented or corrected. Plus, you don't need to explain what labor discipline is.

A responsibility. Many people by this age acquire families, i.e. are already in charge of someone's life. And the bosses treat an adult 30-man more trustingly and seriously than talented frivolous persons.

Relationship. A thirty-year-old woman has a wealth of experience in relationships with people. It is easier for her to find a "key" both for the boss, and for employees, and even for clients. In addition, you will not assert yourself at someone else's expense, conflict or give free rein to ambitions.

Time to love!

Since childhood, she dreamed of a career as a singer. And at the age of 17, she fled from her native provincial town to conquer the capital. Success did not come immediately, but by the age of 30 the whole world started talking about her. She was adored, she had a crowd of fans. But relations with men did not work out catastrophically: there was a divorce behind him, but a worthy person was not around. True, this woman has always been able to find a way out of any situation. At 38, she gives birth to her first child and ... breaks up with her daughter's father. And after a couple of years she meets a man 10 years younger than her! She was predicted a complete failure in this alliance and the inglorious decline of her career. And she gave birth to her second child and lives happily with her young husband. In a word - a real Madonna!

After thirty, it is real not only to make a career, but also to change your personal life. During this period, the attitude changes, other attitudes and priorities appear. Therefore, many women break up early marriages by the age of 30, or they part with their former lovers. In such a situation, one cannot be discouraged! Say to yourself: “Yes, I turned thirty, but not yet forty. I have enough time to start a family. And nothing will stop me from loving and being loved! "

Do not regret failures in your personal life: a bitter experience is not a defeat yet. Now you have the right to make a decision yourself, choosing a new union, civil marriage or regular meetings with your beloved man on weekends. Unlike twenty-year-olds, you are free to choose the option that suits you best. And do not worry at all about the fact that there is no stamp in the passport!

But in any case, tune in to the positive. If your plans include creating a new family - do not doubt that you will succeed. Ask yourself the question: "What prevents me from meeting a new love?" Maybe you devote a lot of time to work? Or are you aimlessly waiting for “fate” to find you on its own? Or is there no way you can erase the previous failed connection from your memory?

Write on paper what qualities you value in a man. Of course, at 18, girls are only interested in princes! It's good that you have already stepped over this period and you really know what you expect from the relationship. The next stage of the program is dating. You must admit that age only helps in this situation: there is nothing shameful that a thirty-year-old woman wants to have a strong healthy family. To implement this point, more often "go out". Do not neglect friendly parties, meeting former classmates or graduates of the institute. You can easily meet in online chats or forums, dating services. In addition, now there are many studios, trainings, courses where it is much easier to find a common language and get closer.

Get rid of the previous negative experience as quickly as possible. If you broke up with your husband or loved one, forbid yourself the memories of him, try not to discuss his actions with friends and family. Order yourself: “Stop! It has already passed. Now I am starting a new life. "

And light, unobtrusive flirting is an excellent warm-up and a cure for boredom! Therefore, give more often "small advances" to the gentlemen around you. By flirting, you show the man that you are not indifferent to him and are convinced of your own attractiveness.

Remember how many miscalculations and mistakes you made in your relationship with guys when you were young. But now you have a precious experience. Your advantages:

Healthy practicality. You are no longer caught on the bait of gentle and beautiful words. And you understand that a woman loves not with her ears, but with real deeds and actions. You can have a deafening romance with an interesting man. But you will not lose your head at the same time: you will no longer be blinded by either his wide gestures, or his catchy appearance.

Realism. Everything is good in moderation, and you will not idealize even the most perfect man. You have already learned how to dose your feelings and you will not waste time on a hopeless connection.

Sexuality. Sexologists say: thirty years is the heyday of female sensuality. Now you already know perfectly well what you expect from an intimate life and a partner. And you know how to tell good sex from bad!

Become a child!

So, thirty is a time for reassessing values and an opportunity to live for your own pleasure. You no longer need to prove to yourself and the whole world that you are an excellent specialist. You don't have to try to earn extra points in the eyes of the boss. All this has already been done. Now is the time to do something for yourself.

Our mothers and grandmothers were sure that it is necessary to start a family and have children up to 30 years old. Because then it will be too late! Now you understand that this is an outdated stereotype. In Europe and America, the average age for marriage is 30, and women who are over thirty give birth to children. Therefore, it is foolish to consider yourself too old for motherhood only on the grounds that only now you are thinking about the appearance of a baby. On the contrary, it's time to make your wishes come true!

The only thing that can get in your way is fears and prejudices. You are afraid to change the rhythm of your life, you are afraid of complications of pregnancy, which doctors scare women after 30, not sure that you can combine a child and a career ... These are all far-fetched obstacles! Ask yourself, what are you more afraid of: possible problems associated with the birth of a child, or childlessness? Then the decision about the "heir" will become conscious and balanced, and the future baby will be loved and long-awaited. It is very helpful to write down your fears and find an "antidote" for everyone. For example, a comprehensive pre-conception check-up and regular follow-up by a doctor during pregnancy will prevent medical problems, an experienced nanny can help you take care of your baby after childbirth, etc.

And the appearance of a crumb incredibly changes both the woman herself and her attitude towards life. If you feel that work has ceased to bring pleasure and vivid emotions, your relationship with your husband (beloved) feels like routine, and you have embodied almost everything you dreamed of, think about offspring.

After all, children are the best stimulus in life. By the way, sociologists have found that women who become mothers after 30 even live longer and get sick less often. And there is no phenomenon here: it's just that the parent still needs to raise the child and put him on his feet, and this task perfectly mobilizes the forces of the body. In addition, having given birth to a child, you are fully realized as a woman! There are ladies who postpone motherhood by the age of 40; there are a lot of such examples among famous personalities. But remember that the older the mother, the more fears she has for her only beloved child, the more she sacrifices herself. Agree, this position is unlikely to benefit the baby. And if she was planning a child by 30 - embody your motherhood project, because it will play in your favor:

Material base. You have an apartment, you have already achieved success in your work. And you can quite afford to go on maternity leave for six months, and then hire a nanny. Your child won't need anything!

A family. You can quite count on the support of loved ones. By the way, many women give birth to children while in a civil marriage. But they are not at all worried about the documentary confirmation of the union!

Knowledge of life. One can envy your communication experience: you will not make elementary mistakes in communicating with your child. Unlike young mothers, you do not need to study brochures about the correct parenting of a baby. And most importantly - there is something to teach your child!

The thirtieth birthday is an important milestone on the path of every person, since this is 1/3 of his life, and it seems that there is already an experience, and there is a lot of time ahead to apply this experience. However, very often 30 years becomes not a border, not another border, but a barrier, which is not easy to jump over. What is the reason? And what is life after 30 years? Let's figure it out.

Why a barrier?

Psychologists often talk about crises of a certain age, and 30 is one of them.

Indeed, this round date is not easy for all people to postpone.

There are several physiological and emotional reasons for this.

At first, our body is constantly changing. Skin cells are renewed, there are changes in metabolism and hormonal background. At the age of 30, these processes are activated, but not for the better, because, as one smart person noted: "We are not getting younger." Metabolism will slow down, there are problems with the amount of male and female hormones, the muscles gradually become less elastic. As a result of all this, we not only feel differently (no worse, no better, namely differently), but also see the external manifestations of these changes: weight gain, deterioration of the skin, the inability to jump and run as fast and good as before. As a result, in addition to physiological changes that are stress for the body, there are real emotional stresses caused by appearance, relationship with the opposite sex.

Secondly, as already mentioned, partly physiology affects our appearance and the perception of ourselves and our own self. A chain reaction occurs here: we see the reflection in the mirror - we don't like it (we ought to lose weight, for example) - we get upset - we try to lose weight and nothing comes of it - we eat more to seize stress - we drive ourselves into depression. Of course, this is all exaggerated. Someone manages to lose weight, remain optimistic, but in general, the process usually takes place according to this scheme.

Thirdly, “30 years” is perceived by a person as “many years”. We are used to thinking that closer to thirty you should have an education, maybe even two, a stable job with the possibility of career growth, a family, preferably with one child, a car, an apartment, and further down the list. All of this is the image of the ideal 30-year-old person. Want a secret? Such a person does not exist in nature, and even if it seems to you that your friend, for example, is such, it is not so. You can never know for sure all the details of his life. As a result, it will probably turn out that the apartment was bought on credit, he hates work, and his wife is cheating on him. But outwardly he is perfect, yes. This idea of the life of "adults" has been instilled in us since childhood, and if, having reached 30, we do not meet at least one point, we perceive ourselves as a failed personality.

Fourth, 30 years - a kind of border between "young" and "adult". And this distinct difference in concepts is felt in the way people are treated: now you are not a girl, but most likely a woman, and when referring to the male sex, “guy” is replaced by “man”. "Man" certainly sounds solid, but this title also puts more responsibility on you. And as a result of these seemingly insignificant situations, a person begins to feel the pressure from being at the age of thirty.

How to overcome the barrier?

If you live quite comfortably after celebrating the third decade of your life, the number of complexes has not increased, and the mood is still positive - rejoice. You are one of the few who easily overcomes any crisis situations.

If, while reading the last part of the article, you have identified fears or even "symptoms" of a 30-year crisis, then do not despair. You can be sure: life after 30 can be as bright and intense as at 18. There is a lot of evidence for this. And, of course, to overcome the psychological barrier and with a proudly raised head to enter the well-deserved ranks of "adults" is a task that everyone can do.

1. Admit your fears

Grab a pen and a piece of paper, sit comfortably in silence, and write down all the fears that you gathered on the way to your 30s that began to emerge after the anniversary. It can even be small things, like "I'm afraid of spiders" or global issues, for example, "I'm afraid to be alone." Any of your fears are worthy of attention, and even more so - decisions. After recording, analyze the situation as if it were not yours. You need a non-emotional, objective, and possibly fresh perspective on these things. If you have a best friend / girlfriend, ask him to read all this at his leisure and speak about it, but do not publicize that these are your own fears. Let the situation be hypothetical for everyone.

After such simple manipulations, you will feel in control of the situation. Of course, there is a long way from thinking about a solution to a result and overcoming fear, but you can single out the small, insignificant "I'm afraid" from the general list and overcome them first. Be sure to cross out whatever is left behind. This will give strength, and as a result, only global problems will remain on the list.

Here you should realize whether you need additional knowledge to overcome this or that fear. For example, books on psychology are necessary for those who are afraid of being alone, not building a good family. Consultation with a doctor - for people who are inclined to assume the presence of diseases in themselves. Consultation with a fitness trainer - for those who want to stay in shape. Books on doing business, autobiographies of famous successful people - for those who want to earn more or have ideas for a startup, but do not know where to start.

Get the knowledge or skills you need and tackle your fears. With the baggage in the form of theory and a few points already crossed out, getting rid of the rest will not be difficult.

2. Take inspiration from an example

Movies, books, magazines, the Internet - all this is replete with people of age who remain optimistic and love life. Take advantage of this. Follow the Instagram of the mom of three, who looks like a model and constantly gives advice on nutrition and effective exercise. Read the stories of those who became famous not at 18, but came to success at 30 and even later, for example, interviews with J.K. Rowling, Martha Stewart, Harisson Ford, Morgan Freeman - all these people found their life's work and became successful after 30 years.

Make sure to remind yourself more often that your age is not an issue. You are not the first, not you - the last one to go through this. You cannot rewind time or just avoid this age line, but how to live it is only your choice.

3. Take care of your health

As already noted, the physiological aging of the body affects our mental balance. The simplest thing you can do for yourself at any age is to take care of your body. Get a routine check-up, consult with doctors about your health. Go to the pharmacy and buy vitamins. Fortunately, pharmaceutical companies are responsible for supplying us with drugs, and you will find many complexes for different age groups.

Further, hand in hand, there are nutritional correction and physical activity. Switching to proper nutrition, diet, vegetarianism is not worth it, of course, if you do not feel that you really want it. But physical activity is necessary to maintain muscle tone. Visit a variety of programs ranging from dance to strength training and choose what you like best. If you do not have a goal of losing pounds or pumping up, then any kind of physical activity will do.

If you suddenly decide that you want a relief body, then feel free to start exploring ways to lose weight and gain mass. This question is very difficult, and therefore, take a responsible attitude to the search for information, and do not rush to the nearest simulators.

4. Start something new

New is always good. People are used to postponing everything for certain dates: Mondays, the beginning of the month or season, "for next summer", etc. Instead, decide for yourself that your date X has already come (you already turned 30) and it's time to start what you have long wanted to do. It could be a new hobby or a new job. Book or habit. Anything that was not in your previous life.

Of course, you may be disappointed that you have been wanting for so long. For example, the book turned out to be boring or the drawing somehow "did not go". But this is not a reason to be upset. Rather, an excuse to try something new again.

Get into the habit of doing something every week that you have not done before: at least once every seven days, cook a new dish, commute to work not in the usual, the shortest way, and so on. There are many ideas and just as many possibilities. And so you will always have something to tell your friends about when they ask what you did over the weekend.

5. Just keep doing what you did.

The issue of stereotypes and generally accepted standards of an "adult" has already been discussed above, but it is worth repeating: you are you, and you do not have to conform to the image of an ideal person. And there is only one simple reason for this: everyone has a different ideal. If you live well without marriage, move on. The Constitution of the Russian Federation does not stipulate that everyone is obliged to have official relations at the age of 30. If you enjoy your job, even though it doesn't fit the definition of “serious” (freelancer, bartender, taxi driver, animal clipper, manicurist, etc.), just keep doing it. Again, there is no official list of "prestigious" and "frivolous" jobs. What happens to you is only your choice.

So life after 30 can be wonderful. It defies refutation. However, due to physiological processes and emotional instability, many have been going through a crisis for 30 years. Perhaps this will affect you too, or has already affected you.

The world does not stand still, just as you and I are not trees attached by roots to one specific square meter of forest. Remember: nothing prevents you from developing with the world and feeling like a winner in life!

The development and maturation of a person is individual. But everyone is united by a common feature: at certain moments in life, age-related crises are formed. For women, one of the most powerful and difficult is the crisis of 30 years. Its manifestations are attempts to understand oneself more fully, rethinking relations with family and friends, thoughts about the further development of a career and family ...

Causes of the crisis 30 years

The crisis situation does not appear out of nowhere. The characteristic prerequisites lead to it. In their thirties, they become the trigger of the crisis.

Difficulties in personal life. In women who have not married by the age of 30, self-esteem falls and chronic depression develops, as well as uncertainty about the future. It happens not for everyone, but for many. If the lady is married, disappointment in family life, accumulated fatigue from constant chores around the house and caring for children is likely. Relatives and girlfriends do not have more than enough problems, but vice versa.
The appearance of signs of aging. By the beginning of the fourth decade, it is difficult not to notice the characteristic symptoms of maturity: fat deposition on the thighs, cellulite, sagging skin, mimic (and some have "real" large) wrinkles. In those who gave birth several times, the signs are even more pronounced.
Career ambiguity. Career doesn't necessarily become important. But, when a serious stake was placed on her, and by the age of 30, a high post has not been reached, a crisis is inevitable.
Comparison of one's own achievements with those of others is disadvantageous. By the age of 30, you want to achieve success in at least some area. Having failed, not buying a good house, not having a baby, not moving abroad, a woman begins to experience shame, usually unconscious. Classmates and classmates who have achieved more, by their example, strengthen negative feelings and moods.

The reasons "converge" together in the period 28–32 years. Variations are possible, but insignificant. It is no coincidence that the crisis of 30 years is called the most dangerous and most difficult in a woman's life. This crisis "diagnoses" up to 80% of the fair sex in developed countries. And on the basis of what symptoms?

Symptoms of a female crisis

It will be possible to determine the state of crisis by observing behavior, communication and thoughts. In these areas, the symptoms of crisis are especially pronounced.

Feeling of unrealized opportunities. You wanted so much, and now you are worried about what was not achieved and not received? So the first symptom has been found. At the age of 30, most people think about their own insolvency. Even women who have made wonderful careers, who have given birth to two or three wonderful children.
Constant "discovery" of new problems. Are you starting to notice a lot of troubles? It's a problem with a figure, it's not very good at work, my husband doesn't like it, the children don't obey, has your favorite TV series suddenly ended? This is a clear sign of a crisis. It is accompanied by many negative emotions, and against the background of the latter, any events seem worse than they are. A subjective and pessimistic view of what is happening plays a serious role.
Thoughts about old age. “Here I am in my thirties, I’ve become very old”, - an obsessive thought, testifying to the crisis. Psychologically important figures are a separate topic, and we are not going to talk about it now ... The main thing is that the thirty-year mark is perceived subjectively as a terrible event, testifying to the “end of youth”.
Birthday is no longer a holiday. As soon as you begin to perceive your birthday as a sad date, the crisis becomes very clear. After all, the further, "the worse." And the next full year is another step towards old age.
Desire for change. By the crisis of 30 years, a clear desire is formed to get rid of the old and acquire a new one. Women change their clothing style, think about moving to another city, think about divorce and changing jobs ... Usually, radical changes lead to the worst consequences: there is no satisfaction from the changes, since they are caused not by an objective need, but by the desire to escape from problems.
Scandals, resentment, disappointment in loved ones. The crisis for 30 years has threatened family and relations with relatives. The shortcomings of the husband, parents, girlfriends, colleagues come to the fore. The result is irritation and omissions, which develop into swearing and the end of normal communication.

Symptoms don't often appear together. Usually there is only one clearly expressed, and the rest are "in the background". The presence of even a couple of signs from the above is a wake-up call. It's time to start solving the problem.

How to deal with the crisis

Views on overcoming the crisis in 30 years are different. Some psychologists advise not to do anything at all, but just wait. Indeed, time gets rid of the crisis. More precisely, from his symptoms. But the reasons will not go anywhere if you do not work on them deliberately. What should I do?

Remove some of the responsibility. Excessive workload and the need to pull on affairs in the family and at work will not help to cope with the crisis. You need to make life easier for at least a couple of months. The husband, relatives, close friends will help at home. At work - colleagues with whom we still have good relations. Is it possible to temporarily shift responsibilities to someone? Do it.
Reanimate an old hobby, find a new one. Monotony is not good for you. A hobby that helps you relieve stress and distract yourself from bad thoughts. Sewing, photographing, cycling ... What do you like the most? Now is the time to return to the pleasurable pursuits.
Spending time with my husband, relatives, friends. Spending time together will help not spoil relationships with loved ones. But not on the usual "duty" occasion (someone's birthday, New Year, etc.), but just like that. Get out with my husband in a pleasant institution, stay for a romantic evening and night together, sending the children away. Visit relatives living in another city. Meeting a good old friend after a long breakup.
Change for the better. Take advantage of the drive for change - improve yourself. Start visiting the fitness club, swimming pool, lose weight. Go to foreign language courses. Take some personal growth training. As a last resort, take an internship and courses related to your job. Helpful for peace of mind.
Increase endorphin levels. And we must not forget about physiology. Endorphins, which maintain a positive attitude and optimism in you, are produced in greater volume during sports and sex. And it is also useful to be in the sun (including in a solarium), to consume reasonable amounts of chocolate. In general, use every moment of joy!

We deliberately do not call for self-examination, compilation of lists of positive and negative traits, preparation of plans for the future. Such psychological tricks do not save from the crisis of 30 years, since during this period a woman is devoid of rationality. No matter how much you talk about the "beautiful distant", a walk in the fresh air, a glass of wine by candlelight, a deep sleep will be more useful. Find out more in the video below.

Outcomes

It is impossible to avoid the crisis of 30 years. In women, it is caused by subjective lack of fulfillment in life, family problems, career difficulties and a deterioration in appearance. Effective ways of fighting: having a pleasant pastime, maintaining good relations with loved ones, taking care of your own body. The correct approach and optimistic attitude will shorten the period of the crisis to a couple of months. After that, there will be relief, and life will return to normal.