Etiquette in relations between men and women. Male etiquette - the rules for real gentlemen

20.10.2019

The image of a well-mannered young man consists not only of the ability to behave well in relation to a woman. Opening the door in front of a lady, letting her pass in front of you, or helping to carry a heavy bag is certainly good, but the rules of etiquette for men do not end there. Polite speech, culture of behavior, a well-chosen suit and much more are also an integral part.

Fundamental rules of etiquette for men

In old films about the privileged part of society, we can often observe how when a lady enters a room, the male half of the hall immediately rises from its seats. And only after the girl has settled comfortably somewhere, the rules of conduct for gentlemen allow them to return to their places.

Today, such a situation is extremely rare, although this is one of the fundamental traits of an intelligent man.

There are 14 basic rules of behavior for men in relation to women, which every self-respecting modern young man should know:

On the street, a young man must accompany the lady, walking to her left. On the right side, only the military have the right to go to salute if necessary.
If a girl stumbles or slips, a man must certainly hold her by the elbow. Although in real circumstances, the choice remains with the lady.
Good manners do not allow lighting a cigarette in front of a lady, only after her consent.
A real man always lets a lady go ahead, having previously opened the door for her.
When going up or down the stairs, a young man is obliged to support his companion if necessary, for this he is a couple of steps away from her.
When entering an elevator, a man must enter it first, and when leaving, he must first let the girl through.

The first to get out of the car is a young man who, bypassing the car, opens the door on the passenger side, giving the lady his hand. If a man is a driver of a transport, then he is obliged to open the front passenger door and help the lady to sit down. In case the gentleman is also a passenger, he needs to sit in the back seat with his companion. It should be remembered that in this case, a girl first sits in the car, and then a man next to her.
Entering the room, a man helps a lady take off her coat, and when leaving it, he must help her put it on.
In the modern world, a young man is not supposed to find a seat for himself if a woman is standing.
According to etiquette, a young man must come to a meeting earlier than a lady, so as not to put her in an uncomfortable situation if she is late. In urgent cases, you should notify the girl about this and apologize to her.

A man is obliged to help every woman to carry large bags or any bulky items. These do not include a women's handbag, as well as small fur coats and coats, except for the case when a lady is not able to carry her things herself because of her well-being.
The main mistake of a young man when communicating with someone is crossing his arms, as well as fingering something in his hands. This is considered a sign of disrespect to your opponent.
When going to a restaurant, a gentleman first comes in so that the head waiter draws the correct conclusions about who invited whom and who will pay the bill. With a large number of people, the first to enter is the one who will pay and is the initiator of the invitation. In the case of a meeting of a couple by the doorman, the girl enters the restaurant first. Following this, the man must find an unoccupied place.
Being in a company, a young man with a girl is forbidden to speak on frank topics; it is better to choose light, unobtrusive subjects for discussion.

Appearance according to etiquette

The main thing in the wardrobe of a modern intelligent man is not a formal suit and tie, but a general picture. In other words, harmony. Don't overdo it with accessories. Everything should be in moderation. A tie or bow tie should match the overall color scheme. A shirt should be chosen lighter than a suit or give preference to a universal white color. Cufflinks or a tie clip should not become a bright accent.

Those who want to emphasize their status or material wealth by complementing the image with massive accessories and jewelry can achieve the opposite result.

The norms of etiquette for men in modern society are ordered to coordinate their outfit in advance with the outfit of the lady whom he is going to accompany to any cultural event.

As for the men's hairstyle, masked bald patches look awkward. It is not recommended to paint over gray hair. When attending public events, men should shave smoothly. Only small mustaches and beards are acceptable.

The appearance of the shoe is also one of the most important in the image of a gentleman. Shoes or boots must be kept in proper condition. Lacquer shoes should only be worn when necessary. For business meetings and dates, shoes made of suede or leather to match the color of the suit will be a suitable option.

It should be remembered that the correct style of clothing is 50% of the successful completion of the meeting, regardless of its type.

Business etiquette

With a little understanding of the wardrobe, you should move on to the norms of behavior in the field of business. Another important factor when communicating with a business partner is not only appearance, but even smell. Preference should be given to perfumes not with a pungent smell, but softer and lighter, closer to natural.

But above all, business etiquette is how you behave in negotiations and in meetings. For example, when entering an elevator, people of higher rank are allowed through. The same goes for the greeting. Subordinates, according to business ethics, should greet leaders first.

A person working in the field of business should get business cards, as this is much more convenient than wasting time every time looking for a piece of paper to write down contact information. The design of a business card should be simple, without unnecessary details, only brief information about the owner (company name, position held, full name, telephone number).

You should learn how to prepare for a meeting in advance: it is better to make a list of necessary questions the day before. This will help to significantly shorten the meeting time, which will show your business competence.

In a business conversation, it is important to capture all the details of the conversation with the business partner. Some non-verbal communication can help win over the other person, such as a handshake, a nod of the head, and so on.

Give way to a lady in public transport, open the door for a girl and skip ahead - this is only a small part of the rules of good manners for men. The modern gentleman is not just “dressed up with a needle”. He is also accompanied by restraint in emotions, a tie to match and the right bouquet for his beloved. What else do you need to know in order to really be, and not be reputed to be a well-mannered person?

Basic rules of etiquette

If you look at the films of the last century about the life of high society, you will notice that when a lady enters the room, the male half of those present rises from armchairs or chairs. And only after the woman has been asked to sit down and she is comfortably settled, the rules of etiquette for men allow him to return to his place. In modern society, such a phenomenon is rarely observed, and this is a very indicative sign of a well-mannered person.

A true gentleman is also obliged to help the lady get out of the car. He is the first to leave the salon, open the door. This rule must be observed not only by the driver, but also simply by the man accompanying the girl.

When taking a walk with a lady, a young man should walk to her left. And in no case should I smoke, especially strong cigars, if the girl is against it. Entering the room, he must let the lady go ahead, opening the door warningly. Climbing the stairs, the young man walks a couple of steps behind, as if hedging his companion. But if you please enter the elevator first, as the rules of good manners say for men.

When helping the fair sex, gentlemen should not only carry heavy bags. You need to help take off your coat or fur coat, move a chair, ask what the lady wants, and submit if necessary. Such seemingly insignificant manipulations should not be ignored. They create an overall impression, set the tone for the meeting. And this is also the basic rules of etiquette for men.

At the table

When a large company gathers at the table, it may turn out that an unknown lady is nearby, on the right hand. Etiquette for men suggests that, regardless of the degree of acquaintance, it is necessary to take care of her, pour drinks, add snacks. If a girl wants to go out, she should get up, help her neighbor stand by slightly moving her chair. Upon the return of the lady, the procedure must be repeated exactly the opposite.

And a few more rules to keep in mind. In a conversation, do not interrupt the lady, nod your head, show interest in the conversation. It is bad form to keep your hands in your pockets when dealing with the fair sex. Use restrained gestures in the conversation, or slightly hold the lady under the elbow.

Dressing according to the rules

The modern gentleman's wardrobe is varied. And the main thing that the rules of etiquette for men say is not a tailcoat and a bow tie, but a general one. The first is harmony. No clumsy details. If your choice is a formal suit, consider the accessories carefully. The tie should fit into the color ensemble. The correct shirt tone is slightly lighter than the suit, or the ideal option for all occasions is white. Cufflinks, tie clips should not be conspicuous.

Be kind in the conversation. Pay attention to the details of the information from your meeting partner. The rules of good manners for men, as well as for women, recommend the use of gestures such as a slight nod of the head, indicating a possible agreement, a handshake, regardless of what gender the interlocutor is. They help to establish contact and win over a person.

And a few more rules for the stronger sex

And some more rules of etiquette for men, if you follow them, you will definitely leave only a "gentlemanly" impression of yourself. If you are accompanied by a lady to a party, you should not leave her alone to greet everyone present. If you urgently need to talk to someone, sit down the girl, serve her a drink, make sure that she does not need anything.

Try to show tact and restraint. Even if someone present seemed funny to you, you should not point your finger at him and loudly discuss his appearance. As, for example, being in the company of a lady, you should not stipulate the merits or demerits of another woman. This is bad form!

A little conclusion

Give flowers to girls, but keep in mind that scarlet buds are presented only to loved ones. At least that's what the rules for men say. Most importantly, always remain a gentleman and just a well-mannered person! Good luck!

Etiquette is a set of rules of good form. There are a lot of them. But those who make a career, want to succeed and who have to communicate with representatives of the elite, need to study them especially carefully.

Etiquette helps people to behave correctly in any situation and society, without causing any inconvenience to other people. Refined manners, correct speech, stylish image - all this plays an important role.

There are several types of etiquette:

the ability to present to oneself: a properly selected wardrobe, a well-groomed appearance, elegant gestures, posture, posture;
speech form: manners and culture of speech and communication;
table etiquette: table manners, knowledge of serving rules, ability to eat;
behavior in any public place;
business etiquette: negotiations and relationships with bosses and colleagues.

Good manners for women

First of all, a girl or a woman should look good. She should have a neat and well-groomed appearance, clean clothes and shoes, the right bag and accessories.

Of the basic rules, you need to highlight the following:

Perfume should be used wisely. The strong smell of deodorant or even elite perfume is considered bad manners.
Moderation is best when choosing jewelry and accessories. A lot of jewelry or jewelry looks too flashy.
You can only dress up at home or in a specially designated room, but by no means in public places. In society, you can only quickly look at your reflection in a small mirror and lipstick.
A lap bag is not the best choice. So they sit at the station. It is better to put a purse or small purse on the table https://youtu.be/I7FirFX5UNw

A woman should always behave like a real lady, avoiding offensive statements, inappropriate flirting and other liberties.

List of etiquette rules for men

A man should also look elegant, be neatly combed and adhere to the following rules:

Skip the companion forward when entering the room.
Do not put your elbows on the table.
Sitting down at the table, first move the chair back to the lady, and then to yourself.
Do not leave your companion alone.
Do not smoke in front of a girl without her permission.
In the room, in the presence of the girl, take off the headdress.
When leaving the bus or car, shake hands with the lady.

A gentleman should not carry a woman's bag, and he can carry women's outerwear only to the dressing room. On the street, a man should walk to the left of his companion.

Without the consent of the girl, the gentleman has no right to take her by the hand or arm.

Etiquette for children

The upbringing of children should be based on etiquette, because they will have to live in society. It is difficult for children to learn all the rules, but although the most important of them they should know:

Table Behavior:

sit down at the table by invitation only;
eating with your mouth closed without speaking;
get up from the table only with the permission of an adult.

Speech etiquette:

always greet and say goodbye;
express your gratitude and respect;
do not interfere with the conversation of older people, do not interrupt them.

Guest etiquette:

invite guests in advance;
do not go to people without an invitation;
go to visit only in a good mood;
be at a party no more than 2 - 3 hours, so as not to bother people.

Having learned these simple rules from childhood, the child will adhere to them in the future.

Conversational etiquette

The culture of communication for many young people is considered an outdated concept, and completely in vain. After all, it is speech etiquette that helps to achieve authority and win the trust of others. The list of these rules is quite long:

When entering a room, you should always be the first to greet. This rule applies to everyone, regardless of age and status - schoolchildren, retirees, directors or ordinary employees.
At the meeting, the first to greet a man is a woman, the youngest is the senior, the latecomer is the waiting one, the employee of the junior rank is the chief.
When greeting people who are older in position or age, it is imperative that you get up or get up. Sharing a hand while sitting is a sign of bad taste.
A man should always introduce himself to a woman first. You cannot leave people to themselves and oblige them to give their own names.
After meeting, it is advisable to exchange handshakes. It is impolite to serve only your fingertips.
Interrupting the interlocutor is very bad. But it is possible and necessary to express your interest in the subject of the conversation.
The rules of small talk allow you to talk about anything you want, but without going into details and avoiding polemics.
It is necessary to monitor the tempo and timbre of your voice: it should be natural, but not tense.

Polite verbal forms and a friendly attitude towards the interlocutor help to create a favorable impression of yourself.

Telephone communication rules

You also need to be able to talk on the phone. Without seeing the interlocutor, you can tell him a lot of offensive and unnecessary things. But private phone calls are one thing, and business calls are another.

Main rules:

Do not pick up the phone after the first call, only after the second or third. For the saved seconds, you need to mentally prepare for a telephone conversation, postponing your affairs. In addition, if a company representative picks up the phone immediately after the first call, the client gets the impression that the employees have nothing to do and they are simply bored at the place of work. But the main thing here is not to overdo it. If the phone is picked up later, the client may become nervous and become impatient.
First, you must definitely introduce yourself, name your company, inquire about the name of the interlocutor and whether he has time for a short conversation. After that, it is advisable to go straight to the main question.
It is necessary to monitor the intonation and speed of speech. The voice should be clear, low, even and confident. It would be a good idea to adjust to the tempo of the person on the other end of the line.
Do not forget about the polite phrases: "thank you", "be kind", "if it does not bother you."
It is prohibited to use the speakerphone unnecessarily. The person on the other end of the line immediately senses the difference in sound and begins to worry that someone is eavesdropping on him. It may also be an indication that a company representative is engaged in extraneous (more significant matters) and part-time answering calls.
When communicating on the phone, do not smoke, drink or eat (chew gum). Although it is not visible, it all reflects on the speech and looks terrifying.
After using the hold function, be sure to thank the person for the wait. It is not worth keeping the interlocutor on "hold" for longer than a minute; it is better to say that after specifying the necessary information, they will call him back.
At the end, be sure to say goodbye and thank the interlocutor for taking the time to talk. There is no need to apologize for wasting time.

With aggressive and demanding clients, you need to talk calmly, but decisively and confidently.

Good manners and business etiquette

If all employees adhere to business etiquette, a favorable atmosphere is created in the enterprise or firm in which there is no place for conflict.

You should never be late for meetings and business negotiations.
Company secrets and data confidentiality should be kept at all times.
During a business conversation, you should not gaze intently into the face of the interlocutor or bend over him. Also, when communicating, it is not allowed to tilt the head to the side.
The business card should only be served with the right hand (even to left-handed people). The recipient of the business card should not hide it in the back pocket of his trousers or wrinkle it with his fingers.
You should not violate the boundaries of personal space and get too close to a person. The latter feels considerable discomfort at the same time. The minimum distance between interlocutors corresponds to the size of an outstretched arm. A person can only admit his relatives closer to him.
A guest arriving on business must be seated on the right hand of the host.
You need to monitor your speech. Slang words, stress errors, and the use of words in the wrong sense make a particularly unfavorable impression.
For a compliment, you should always give a short and simple thank you, without showing false modesty.
You should always monitor your body position and gestures. It is unacceptable to talk with your legs wide apart, with your hands in your pockets, stooping and gesturing strongly.

Business etiquette is the rules without which it will not be possible to achieve success in business. They always try to adhere to them, even if instability reigns around both in politics and in the economy.

How to behave at the table

You also need to be cultured at the table. This applies to both family celebrations and dinner parties in a restaurant, cafe or at a party.

Good manners at the table:

Never and under no circumstances should you chew food with your mouth open. It looks awful. Also, do not talk and laugh with leftover food in your mouth. This is not only ugly - you can choke that way.
Before you put a side dish, salad or appetizer from a common dish into your own plate, you must first offer them to those sitting next to you. Food is served on oneself last.
In no case should you put your phone or smartphone on the table next to you. This shows a person in a negative light: he is not interested in what is happening, he is constantly distracted by incoming messages and calls.

The table must be properly served, and all appliances must be put in their place.

Many people believe that it is possible to behave freely and cheekily at home. But this is wrong, because parents and children, grandparents, sisters and brothers should show special courtesy and goodwill towards each other. For family relationships to be strong and sincere, you need to rejoice at the successes of loved ones, thank, support in all endeavors, speak kind words more often and find compromises.

The older generation must be treated with respect.

Parents should also not insult their children, use offensive language and read their personal correspondence.

Appearance according to etiquette

The ability to dress beautifully is an art that not everyone has mastered. It is the appearance that most affects the first impression.

Bright and colorful things are very striking. In a business style, they are not appropriate, they can only be worn in an informal setting.
Clothes should never be vulgar, especially for women. A short mini-skirt combined with a deep neckline is the top of a disgrace. Only one of the designated elements can be present in the image.
The entire outfit should be elegant. This means that all materials, styles and colors must be tastefully selected.
You need to dress in such a way as to emphasize the dignity of your figure and hide flaws.

There are a lot of subtleties and nuances. If possible, you need to consult with an experienced stylist or tailor, who will tell you which things fit well, which ones are bad, which clothes are appropriate in a given situation.

A truly well-mannered person behaves impeccably everywhere: both in society and at home. Since we live in a society, everyone should learn this.

1. On the street, a man should go to the left of the lady. On the right, only military personnel can go, who must be ready to salute.

2. It is necessary to support the woman by the elbow if she stumbles or slips. But in a normal situation, the decision to take a man by the arm or not is made by the lady.

3. In the presence of a woman, a man does not smoke without her permission.

4.At the entrance and exit to the room, the gentleman opens the door in front of the lady, and he himself goes behind her.

5. Climbing or descending stairs, a man insures his companion, going one or two steps behind.

6. A man enters the elevator first, and at the exit from it, a lady should be passed ahead.

7. A man gets out of the car first, he bypasses the vehicle and opens the door from the passenger side, while helping the woman to get out. Provided that the man drives the car himself, he must open the door and support the woman by the elbow when she sits in the front seat. If a man and a woman are both taxi passengers, they are supposed to ride in the back seat. The first woman to get settled in the salon, the man sits down next to him.

8. Entering a room, a man should help a woman to take off her outer clothing, while leaving the room, it is worth giving her clothes.

9. It is also customary in society not to sit down if the ladies are standing (this also applies to public transport).

10. According to etiquette, a man should not be late for a meeting with a lady. On the contrary, the gentleman should come a few minutes earlier, because his delay can embarrass the lady and put her in an awkward position. In unforeseen cases, you must warn and apologize for being late.

11. Any woman of all ages should be helped to carry large items and bulky bags. This does not include a handbag, a light fur coat or a coat, except for those cases when for health reasons she cannot carry them herself.

12. In society, frank conversation about a lady with a third person is unacceptable, especially in a male company.

13. During a conversation, a man should not fold his arms over his chest or keep them in his pockets. Also, do not twist different objects in your hands - this is disrespect for the interlocutor.

14. Useful to know: A man is always the first to enter a restaurant, the main reason is that the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions on this basis about who is the initiator of coming to the restaurant and who will pay. In the case of a large company, the first person enters and the one from whom the invitation to the restaurant originated pays. But if a doorman meets visitors at the entrance, then the man must let the first woman pass. Then the gentleman finds free places.

All of us have long been accustomed to coming, wherever in rainy weather, to immediately open an umbrella. Yes, indeed, this is how it dries the fastest, but according to the rules of etiquette, such a maneuver is completely unacceptable. Why? Everything is very simple: if you open an umbrella in an office or in any other public place, others will do the same, umbrellas will fill the entire space and it will be rather difficult to move around such a "field", so the umbrella must be folded (but not twisted, otherwise through an unpleasant odor may appear for a while) and place it in the umbrella stand. If you don't have one at hand, you can lean the umbrella against the wall.

Bag on the floor

All the inhabitants of Europe put their handbags on the floor, this often causes some bewilderment in us, which is not surprising, we are accustomed to always sitting in an embrace with our bags, and meanwhile, this contradicts all the rules of etiquette. The rules of good form say: a small clutch can be put on the table next to you, as for other bags, they must be hung on the back of a chair (but not put on the next seat in any way) or put on the floor, where they will definitely not interfere with anyone.

Headgear must be removed indoors

If today you decide to leave the house in an elegant hat and gloves, then you can safely enter the room in this form - the rules of etiquette do not prohibit this (of course, if you do not plan to spend all day wearing a headdress or do not decide to go to the theater wearing a hat) , but it's better to take off the hat and mittens. In the end, if you really decide to be a lady, you need to remain her to the end, even in forty-degree frost.

Keep track of the number of decorations

According to etiquette, the number of jewelry that a woman is wearing at the same time should not exceed thirteen units, and this also includes jewelry buttons. In addition, it is completely inadmissible to wear a ring over gloves, but a bracelet is completely. You should also take care of the high cost of your jewelry, the main rule here remains this: the darker it is on the street, the more expensive and larger the jewelry. Avoid combining multiple pieces of jewelry made from different metals. It is not recommended to wear gold and silver at the same time, as well as combine jewelry with real jewelry or with products made from natural materials. The same applies to precious stones: only pearls and diamonds are combined with all stones, and colored sapphires, emeralds, rubies should not be worn at the same time.

How to pay for an order in a restaurant

And although many women like to speculate on the topic “he should pay for me,” this statement is only partially true. So, for example, if you invite a man to a restaurant with the specific wording “I invite”, then you thereby confirm your willingness to pay not only for yourself, but also for the invitee. The same is true for a business lunch (dinner / breakfast): if a woman invites her partner to a restaurant, she pays. Only the phrase “Let's go to a restaurant” remains salutary, only in this case the bill can be divided in half, and if you come across a noble companion, then, most likely, he will pay for you.

Don't talk about dieting

Our favorite topic is weight loss: new types of fitness, diets, miracle drinks, and so on. But if you do not want to make the wrong impression on others, you will have to leave all the talk about lost pounds at home. Your interlocutors, unless of course, this is your best friend, is absolutely not interested in exactly how much you lost in the last month, how exactly your body reacts to plums or cottage cheese, or to plums with cottage cheese, and why your cellulite does not want to disappear. In particular, it is ugly to refuse the dishes offered to you at a party, etiquette prescribes at least to try the dishes prepared by the owners, let it be better that the food on your plate remains almost intact than you publicly declare that the diet allows you only water and green apples, which, as luck would have it, in there were no guests.

How to behave in the auditorium

If you find yourself in a theater or cinema later than other spectators, and your seat is in the middle of the row, you only need to make your way to it facing the seated ones. However, an interesting fact is that in Europe there is exactly the opposite rule. It's a matter of mentality, probably. So, if you walk along a row in an auditorium somewhere in France, you must turn your back to those already sitting, otherwise people will consider you ill-mannered, the same applies to the elevator. Turning your back in Europe does not mean showing disrespect at all - on the contrary, in this way, you clearly demonstrate that you are not encroaching on the personal space of your neighbor.

Rules for the use of perfume

This rule is incredibly laconic: do not overdo it with perfume and eau de toilette, if by the evening you still feel the aroma of your perfume, be sure that everyone else has already suffocated.

How to eat sushi properly

It is quite natural that at home you can afford to relax and eat sushi as you please: with chopsticks, hands, a fork or even a spoon, but in a restaurant you still need to use only chopsticks. True, there is a slight indulgence for men - they are allowed to eat Japanese cuisine with their hands.

The man on the left

According to the rules of etiquette on the street, a man should always walk to the left of a woman. This custom has its own history: a few centuries ago, a man could not afford to leave the house without a weapon, as a rule, it was a saber, foil, sword, dagger or saber, which was attached to the gentleman's belt on the left so that the weapon would not be on the move. beat the beautiful lady on the knees, the gentleman had to go to the left. Today, the once compulsory necessity has become a sign of good upbringing. The only exceptions here are the military - they are supposed to go to the right of the companion in order to make a military salute if necessary, or, more simply, to salute.

A smartphone on the table is a sign of bad taste

If during a meeting with friends, and even more so - a business lunch, your phone certainly lies in front of you, and besides, you are constantly distracted by it to check what's new, then you are extremely uninteresting with your interlocutors. In doing so, you show how important a communication device plays in your life and how indifferent you are to those who are in front of you.

When a man should be first

Contrary to the stereotype, a man does not always have to let his lady go ahead. So, for example, if the stairs cannot be walked side by side, then when going up the man goes behind, and when going down - in front. Everything is very logical: if a lady "decides" to fall, then she will fall down. And then on her way there should be a man who will not let her do it. You also don’t need to let the lady go ahead when entering the elevator. But the lady should get out of there first - the elevator is still considered a high-risk vehicle.