The husband beats his wife with the opinion of psychologists. Why a husband beats his wife is a modern reality. Take shelter from the brawler at home

Husbands who raise their hands to their wives can be divided into two types. The first includes those who accumulate aggression during a scandal with their other half, and then, reaching the boiling point, attacks their wife in order to throw out the negative. For such husbands, domestic assault becomes a habit. It becomes as mundane as drinking coffee in the morning.

The second type of hitting husband is less common, but it is the most dangerous. Unlike the first type, this category does not at all need high-profile scandals in order to raise a hand against his wife. These husbands outwardly look completely calm, but at the same time they can show aggression at any time, and even with the use of any objects: a hammer, chair, knife. Such people have serious mental disorders, and living with them means putting their lives in danger.

Most often, those men who have not achieved anything in their lives are engaged in assault. Through the manifestation of violence against a loved one, they are trying to gain power at least over something.

What to do with a violent husband

In order to cope with assault by her husband, first of all, the wife needs to avoid the manifestation of violence against herself. She should not feel sorry for herself and sob into the pillow. Instead, you need to pull yourself together and think carefully about the situation. It is important to understand what is the reason for the resulting aggression on the part of the husband and decide whether it is worth continuing to live with this person.

You need to think about further actions without emotion, soberly assessing the situation. To do this, you should not make any decision on the day when the husband showed aggression. Better to wait a couple of days to calm down.

If it was decided to keep the family and stay with her husband, then the woman needs to act in several directions at once and she needs to start with herself. First of all, you should eliminate the fear caused by your spouse within yourself. He must see that he is no longer feared.

Then you need to raise your own self-esteem. You need to start to respect and love your "I", because the spouse has probably already managed to convince his wife that she is ugly and stupid. Now all forces should be directed to change this belief, first within oneself, and then in the eyes of the husband.

The behavior towards the husband also needs to be corrected. You need to try to hide your irritation, become affectionate and positive. It will not be superfluous to remind your spouse of his merits.

When trying to restore peace to the family, it is important to act slowly and slowly. The main thing is to remember that if a man does not admit his problems with self-control, then all the efforts of his wife to improve relations will be in vain.

Husband's assault on his wife is a common situation, but you can't just leave it like that, especially if a woman is seriously injured during conflicts. You should think about how to contact the police with an appropriate statement. But, the case will be considered only if there is corpus delicti. The latter is determined in the course of a medical examination evaluating the damage caused to the victim's health.

How can a husband's actions be classified?

The beatings fall under article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. This refers to the infliction of several blows, resulting in the appearance of scratches, bruises, abrasions and other injuries. But, there are situations when they may be absent. In such cases, the doctor will record the victim's complaints, her reaction to palpation of the body parts where the blows were delivered. Also, the medical report will indicate the probable cause of the appearance of bodily injuries, their prescription, which will allow law enforcement officers to establish the fact of beatings, the degree of attitude of the accused towards them.

Important! Article 116 includes not only beatings that resulted in bodily harm, but also other violent actions such as pulling out hair, wringing hands, strangulation, and slaps.

Torture - This is systematic physical abuse and beatings that occur at short intervals. In order for law enforcement officers to classify a crime according to the corresponding article 117 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, there must be documentary evidence - certificates, opinions from medical experts.

Light harm to health - article of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation 115. It refers to minor bodily injuries and temporary deterioration in health, which occurred as a result of the husband's illegal actions, involving the use of physical force.

How a wife should act and where should she go

First of all, a woman should go to an emergency room. Here she will undergo a medical examination, receive a conclusion on her hands - a certificate of beatings, which will list the existing bodily injuries, the probable causes and the duration of their occurrence.

Important! There is no exact timeframe for removing the beatings. But, experts believe that it is best to contact the emergency room or the ITU bureau within 1-2 days, when you can still get a full picture of the intensity of the physical impact and its nature.

With the above certificate, the victim must contact the police and write a corresponding statement in two copies, one of which will remain in her hands. Further, law enforcement officers will conduct an investigation, based on the results of which they will draw up a resolution to initiate a criminal case or to refuse it. If a case is initiated, further consideration is carried out in court.

You can bypass the police station and go directly to the prosecutor's office or court - it all depends on the severity of the damage. If the apparent helplessness of the applicant is evident, the prosecutor may take her side. In other cases, you will need to ask yourself the question of finding a lawyer who can defend the interests of the victim during the trial.

Important! When a woman immediately submits a statement of claim to the court, she must attach to it all available evidence, in particular, the testimony of witnesses and a medical report. It is worth discussing this issue in more detail with a lawyer. Ordering the services of the latter will help bring the matter to the desired outcome, because otherwise there is a risk that the husband's guilt will not be fully recognized.

What is the punishment for beating a spouse

If we talk about a situation when a husband beat his wife, what threatens him depends on the article according to which the case is classified. There are several options for punishment. When inflicting light bodily harm and beatings without serious consequences, the court can take a preventive measure in the form of arrest for 3-4 months. For torture, the husband faces a longer term, calculated in years.

How a case is classified depends on several factors:

• the intensity of the injury;
• the systematic nature of cases of physical influence on the wife;
• collected evidence confirming the facts specified in the case materials.

To prove the husband's violent actions, the wife will be advised to find witnesses. This is not difficult to do. Usually neighbors are well aware of what is happening in families living nearby, especially if there are often loud quarrels accompanied by assault. The only point is that not everyone will agree to testify in court. There can be many reasons. But after talking with several neighbors, it is possible to find people who will testify, understanding the seriousness of the situation.

Good day, dear readers. In this article, we'll talk about what to do if your husband hits you. You will find out for what reasons this happens. You will know how to deal with such a person. You will find out if there is another option than a radical method - an instant divorce after the first blow from your spouse.

Types of husbands who fight

1. Cobra. For such a person, no reason for starting a fight is needed. He has a clear mental disorder, characterized by sharp outbursts of aggression, which the man is not able to control. He will hit even a pregnant wife with ease.
2. Pit bull. A man is able to end any quarrel with a fight. When he just starts to assault, he apologizes for his actions. However, over time, fights become a habit, and blows from one-off moves to serious beatings. It turns out that the husband feels guilty before his wife, and he drowns out this pain with a new fight.

The reasons for this behavior

Women facing male violence may wonder why their husband beats. Let's look at the factors that can influence this behavior in a man.

1. The husband, as a child, lived in a family in which dad constantly beat mom. When he grew up, he decided that this model of behavior was correct.
2. In childhood, excessive demands were made or the parents were too strict, often punishing the child.
3. Trauma to the brain often leads to similar outbursts of aggression.
4. Men are losers who have problems at work, feel insignificant, cannot stand up for themselves in a fight with an equal person, can take out their negative energy on their wife, whom they consider as a weaker creature.
5. Alcoholic and narcotic intoxication most often becomes the reason for a man to open his hands. He is unable to control his actions and can become very aggressive at the slightest disobedience.
6. Provocation by his wife. A woman can be the first to start a fight.
7. A man can start pounding his wife if he is very jealous of his wife, most often provoked by an inferiority complex. He wants to control her in everything. The woman will be beaten even for the slightest delay home.
8. A man fights when he no longer has any feelings for his wife. She begins to annoy him with her presence. He humiliates and hits her, thereby indicating his disappointment.
9. A man can be a real sadist, this is a mental disorder. As a rule, such a person, in childhood, begins to mock insects, then animals. The next stage is the beating of the wife, maybe the parents. Sometimes such people do not stop there, they can start killing.

In what situations do wives endure

A woman can say to her friends “my husband beats me”, but at the same time she does not go anywhere, continues to live with a sadist. Why is this happening?

1. A woman who considers it true to say that a man beats, which means that she loves. She is ready to put up with such a manifestation, especially if, after the beatings, the man asks for forgiveness and presents gifts. These girls may have the impression that they live with two husbands: one loving, giving gifts, the other aggressive. There are cases when wives deliberately provoked their husbands in order to subsequently receive a gift. However, such actions gradually lead to the fact that the man increasingly opens his hands. At the same time, he rarely forgets to apologize for his act.
2. A woman who has succumbed to domestic violence can show willpower, pack things, etc. But he will stumble upon blackmail from her husband. He can assure that he will commit suicide if his wife leaves him. Many girls do not want to be responsible for someone's life, they remain, and the husband continues to scoff. Better to take a chance and still leave. The husband mostly bluffs, and this behavior is an attempt to total control over his wife.
3. Many women continue to tolerate this attitude of men due to the fact that they do not want to deprive their children of their father. They think this is better than none at all. However, they are very much mistaken, they do not understand that such fights strongly affect the child's psyche, traumatize it. A boy raised in such a family will also beat his spouse. And the girl will look for a husband like a cruel father, and this will ruin her life. In addition, one should not forget that a man who allows himself to hit his wife is also capable of hitting a child.
4. A fairly common reason that a wife suffers and does not go anywhere is financial dependence on her husband. Perhaps it does not work or receives too little salary, and is not able to rent housing on its own. In such a situation, it is better to return home to your parents than to endure such bullying by your husband.

Hit for the first time

1. After the first blow, a woman should not rush to file for divorce right away. First of all, she must analyze the current situation, understand why this happened. The main thing is not to pretend that nothing happened, not to close your eyes to it. Otherwise, this behavior will be repeated and become a habit.
2. It is important to calm down, wait until the emotions subside. You can go outside, get some fresh air, drink a sedative. Recall how everything happened until the moment when the husband raised his hand. Was he sober? Did you see the fear in his eyes after what happened? Perhaps they themselves provoked the man to such actions, hurting his dignity.
3. Talk to your spouse, let him know that you will not tolerate this. If there is another assault, then immediately a divorce.
4. Analyze your behavior. Perhaps you are behaving somehow incorrectly. Try to pay more attention to your spouse, be interested in his life, show care and affection.

How to resist beatings

It will be quite difficult for a woman to resist a strong, aggressive man. If she is not able to leave her home, in addition, children are growing up in this house, then she must begin to fight for their rights and for her own too. A woman must declare that she will not allow her children or herself to be beaten.

1. In such a situation, she can go to self-defense courses.
2. If he sees that a man is starting to get hot, that he is about to explode, it is better to take the children in time and go for a walk.
3. A great option is to hide in a room that can be locked from the inside. But at the same time, it is advisable that you have a mobile phone with you, because the situation can get out of control at any time. Who knows what an aggressive man will think of when he wants to beat his wife. Suddenly you have to call the police.
4. If possible, you need to rent a separate home. If there is no financial opportunity to do this, contact your friends or parents.

If you decide to run

If you no longer have the strength to endure, and you know that the man will not let go so easily, there is no other choice but to run away.

1. A woman should take care of a place where she can hide in advance. If she does not have relatives and friends, then you can contact a special shelter, a crisis center, where they help women who are in a difficult situation.
2. We need to collect all the necessary documents, some money. Keep it all ready or take it out in advance to some safe place.
3. You need to leave when your husband is not at home. However, such situations are known when a woman, being on the doorstep, encounters her husband, who unexpectedly came home. A man, seeing such a picture, will immediately understand that you want to escape from him, and this will definitely anger him. In such a situation, you need to be very loud. A woman should start screaming, knocking on neighbors, asking to call the police, doing everything to resist the man. You can also preliminarily find out the number of the district police department, score it into the speed dial of the phone. If there is such an opportunity, the woman should try to run out of the entrance with the children. The more there are witnesses around, the less chances that a man will want to beat his wife. A woman should not be submissive, she should fight for herself and her children.
4. Once free, it will not be superfluous to undergo a medical examination in order to fix the traces of the beatings. Immediately hire a good lawyer, write a statement to the police and file for divorce. A man may try to keep the children with him, so a certificate of beatings will come in handy in court.

A woman should not be a submissive victim, she is obliged to fight for her happiness and the well-being of her children. It is important to understand that inaction will not save you. She must fight to the last.

1. First of all, you need to talk to your spouse. Explain that his behavior is unacceptable. If the husband agrees, it will not be superfluous to go to a family psychologist who will help to understand the reasons for this behavior, will do everything for the man to learn to control himself and no longer allow such behavior.
2. In any case, a woman should not allow such an attitude towards herself. It has its own dignity.
3. If a man raised his hand for the first time, it is unacceptable to throw tantrums or just sit and cry. Better to pack up and leave home. Let him understand that you will not put up with such an attitude. Feel like she can lose you forever.
4. If a man regularly allows himself to be assaulted, then a woman should not tolerate it. The only way out is to get a divorce.
5. When a fight breaks out, you should avoid rooms that contain sharp objects, such as the kitchen. Who knows, suddenly a man in a fit of aggression will grab a knife.
6. A woman should understand that if now from her husband she only receives slaps in the face, small bruises, then over time they can develop into dislocations and fractures, concussion. It is not uncommon for women to die from domestic violence.
7. Do not be afraid to call the police, after beating your husband, write a statement against him.
8. In the presence of serious beatings, call an ambulance, let them fix the injuries.
9. A woman should keep documents, valuables, money ready in order to be able to grab a bag with the essentials in a situation when everything gets out of control, and run away from home.

It is important to understand that domestic violence affects the psychological health of a woman. Therefore, it is so important to seek help from a psychologist who will gradually be able to return her to normal life and help get rid of moral trauma.

Now you know what to do if your husband hits you. The main thing that every woman should understand is that she is not obliged to endure violence, either moral or physical. Remember your dignity, do not forget that the injuries inflicted can seriously harm your health. If children are growing up in the family, and the husband's blow was not a one-time character, you need to immediately divorce such a person.

It's scary to imagine, but there are still many women in the world who endure violence against themselves for various reasons. What if this happened to you? What if your husband beats you? What if your husband mocks you mentally or physically? Our psychologist answers these difficult questions.

“My husband beats me for reasons that seem serious to him, but in fact - it's a trifle. Then he asks for forgiveness, we live peacefully, and after a while the same thing repeats ... How to deal with this if I cannot and do not want to leave him. Liana Radaman ".

What to do if your husband beats you, psychologist Elena Poryvaeva answers:

Unfortunately, it is very likely that in this situation there seems to be no choice - to live with such a husband or not. And not because you do not want to leave him. Because you really can't.

Because he won't let you go. He really, really needs you. The husband beats you, because while accumulating various negative impressions throughout the day, in the evening he suddenly throws them out and he just physically needs at this time to have someone next to him on whom he could be discharged.

As the saying goes, as a punching bag. And it looks like he chose you for this role. It is also possible that your husband wants to demonstrate his masculine strength (plus our society actually demands it from him), but psychologically he is weak, at least he does not feel that he can keep you around him by a different, non-violent method.

And your husband beats you so that, excuse me, "the woman knows her place and is afraid of her husband." So he immediately feels like a "strong man." But that's all about him. Why do you need it like that? There may be several reasons.

If you depend on him only financially, it is much easier to cope with this (although, perhaps, everything is already so neglected that you have forgotten how to take care of yourself and it is easier for you to endure the beatings than to perceive the prospect of your own independence). But I suspect your attraction to your husband is even more confusing.

It happens that wives sometimes themselves (often completely unaccountably), as it were, provoke their husbands to aggression against them, to fight, to beating, just so that after this fight, the husband would ask them for forgiveness. First, the husband beats, then he tries to make amends.

Only in this way can these women feel like people, and not "second class sex." Only in this way are they able to assert themselves, or even feel some kind of superiority at least over their own husband ... And for the sake of this feeling, women sacrifice both independence and, in many respects, security.

I don’t want to scare you, but keep in mind that in such cases, when the husband beats, there is always the possibility that the “provoked husband” one day will not calculate the force of the blow ... and there will be no one to ask for forgiveness.

“We have lived together for 4 years. Everything was going well, I sacrificed a lot for love. But recently I stopped fulfilling the whims of my “half”, because any person has his own purpose in life. Since then he was replaced: not a day without reproach, without insult. My husband makes fun of me.

He found a trick - to blame everyone for his failures (friends, family), and he doesn't let go, he lets go, humiliates, blackmails with loved ones, takes revenge on all the friends and acquaintances around me, forbade any communication without his permission. “Better to put me in jail” and “You can think of me as a beast” are his favorite phrases.

What about a person who scoffs and recognizes only his opinion, communicates only with those who look into his mouth, cannot live without lies and exaggeration, goes to great lengths not to be caught in the wrong? Maybe he's just a cowardly and mean person? Are my fears correct, and how to get out of these fetters? Daria Pleshko ".

What to do if the husband mocks his wife, psychologist Elena Poryvaeva answers:

The most common type of domestic violence is the husband bullying his wife. That is, a man is so psychologically weak (even if he has at least three times pumped up muscles) that he does not hope to keep his wife by verbal influence, and he often simply does not have words - his intellect has pumped up.

Then he starts wielding fists and threats: "If you think of running away, I'll kill you!" Such a male simply does not see any other way to keep a woman near him. And sometimes the husband mocks physically - male violence occurs without the use of physical force at all.

The husband mocks his wife, establishes his own rules in the house, sharply restricts his wife's rights, makes unfounded claims ... Such a family dictator, firstly, has a distorted concept of justice ("I can do anything"), and secondly, an internal low self-esteem , in which he does not even admit to himself, and even more so all the time he will prove to others that "he is not like that, he is a ruble more expensive."

And thirdly, with all this, he has a frank desire for power. And he takes this power by methods of psychological violence only because he is afraid: he might not be able to do it any other way.

But starting a discussion of your specific situation will not have to be with his personality, but with yours. Having got married, you easily obeyed your beloved and "went under his arm." Most likely, this is not your fault, but a misfortune, but, nevertheless, you taught him for four whole years to think: dear, I am your uncomplaining thing, do with "me what you want, I will sacrifice everything for you!"

In the meantime, you have ceased to be afraid of life, have matured, grown as a person ... All this is wonderful for you, but not for your husband. His independence and the manifestation of some kind of ambition are elementary frightening. In response, your husband mocks you.

Imagine that you are, say, moving furniture around the house and putting your own closet (sorry for the comparison) in one place or another. And suddenly the closet starts to rest and yell:

“I don’t want to stand there, I won’t!” Why is there a wardrobe - remember the famous children's "horror films" about Moidodyr ("the blanket ran away, the sheet flew away") or about Fedorin's grief!

Right now, in the eyes of your spouse, your behavior is just like the riot of his own blanket or kitchen utensils. Yes, as long as you obeyed him, he felt good. And now he is scared. And fear, as you know, paralyzes the will and reason.

So he screams at you in a rage, and blackmails, the husband mocks and spreads his hands - he just lost control of himself, he is completely at the mercy of his own fear. And it is obvious that he has something to be afraid of: perhaps he is not too strong psychologically, moreover, apparently, he himself does not know how to rise - it is easier for him to trample those around him into the mud.

He and you, then most likely chose once for your wordlessness and humility ... And now, wanting to keep you, or rather "put in place", to return to the position of a humiliated thing, he chooses not the most adequate means. For example, he begins to intimidate you: “let me sit down” ... And they will jail him, as he hints, because he will mutilate or kill you. He wants you to consider him a beast, that is, to be afraid ...

Yes, your fears are justified. Moreover, it is about your physical safety. So if you yourself are not a masochist, you really need to leave urgently - if not run away! The husband scoffs and will not stop doing it just like that, because he will change his mind.

But this must be done with the support of an experienced lawyer (and even law enforcement agencies) and a consultant psychologist or psychotherapist. Otherwise, your spouse, hearing about your desire to leave, will not break wood yet!

There is an opinion that male assault is possible only in those families where drunkenness or drug addiction is common.

However, this is not the case. The question “what to do if the husband beats his wife” is also raised in families that are quite intelligent, at first glance.

In the end, the wife must decide what to do. But a long path of development of male tyranny leads to the finale.

Why did the husband become a tyrant?

This is far from an unambiguous question. In each case, there are reasons, which, by the way, cannot justify a pathological situation when the strong beats the weak.

1. A man follows the lead of a parental unhealthy relationship. The father "taught" his wife with his fists, and this became the norm for their adult son.

2. To beat your wife is to assert yourself. This is the logic of the behavior of male losers who face difficulties at work or do not know how to stand up for themselves in conflicts with their peers. Anger accumulates, which is taken out on the woman.

3. The most common reason for fights is drug or alcohol intoxication, which removes all prohibitions in a man's behavior. A drunk person is out of control.

The reason for the anger may be the smallest. In a sober state, such people begin to repent and ask for forgiveness. And it will go on forever.

4. Some of the blame may lie with the women themselves. There are persons who openly provoke their husbands with insults, reproaches, even bullying. It happens that it is the wife who starts the fight first.

5. Female spinelessness can also be attributed to a kind of provocation. After all, both a drunk and a sober fighter are not particularly looking for a serious reason. Any household trifle enrages him. And the wife's obedience only spurs the desire to hit her.

The role of a victim, a false sense of duty in relation to a raging husband and father is not the best position. A woman should be aware of the danger she is exposing herself and her future children.

Types of pet fighters

Psychology studying the problem of domestic tyranny has divided these men into two types.

• "Pitbull"

Even the most insignificant quarrel, he will certainly end up with assault. When he first enters this role, he apologizes for every fight, but over time, scandals become a habit, single blows turn into brutal beating of his wife.

He gets a taste, it is useless to explain to him what his ugly behavior is fraught with. Aggressiveness becomes second nature to him.

Experts explain it this way: a man begins to depend on his wife beaten by him. He is tormented by a feeling of guilt, which he drowns out with new fights.

• "Cobra"

For this type of domestic sadist, reasons for fighting are unnecessary. These are people with a disturbed psyche, they themselves cannot find a clear explanation for their outbursts of anger.

Such a type will not spare even a pregnant woman. The hardest thing is for a wife, who is not able to feel in advance when her husband is preparing to attack her.

This happened for the first time ...

The woman is stunned by what has happened: the beloved raised his hand for the first time, he hit me, yesterday, beloved and the only one! After such a dramatic incident, one must first of all calm down. Give yourself and your husband time to analyze the situation.

Perhaps this is an accident that will never happen again. If the husband also regards what happened, he will immediately understand how terrible his behavior was. Will definitely apologize.

A woman should show wisdom. Recall what the relationship was in the husband's parental family. If fights flourished there, then he followed in the footsteps of his father. And that's why in the future, most likely, such wild scenes will be repeated.

If, as a child, he was spared the horrific scenes of beating his mother, then one can believe that his breakdown is an accident. A wife should forgive her husband, provided that the repetition of such an act will completely destroy family relationships.

How to stop a tyrant at home?

We must honestly admit that the one who has struck once will rarely stop there. Does a man hit his wife ruthlessly and regularly? This means that we need to look for ways to stop it.

There are no services in Russia to help women when they become victims of domestic violence. Perhaps only the police and the ambulance, and then you have to rely on them in the most difficult outcomes. Moreover, psychology, which can help with advice.

Therefore, even a pregnant wife should rely only on her own strength. What should be her line of behavior?

1. Yes, at first it will be heart-to-heart talks about the inadmissibility of her husband's behavior. If he understands everything correctly, it would be nice for the spouses to visit a specialist psychologist together, who will analyze why the marital relationship has developed this way. It will help the husband get rid of the bad habit of taking out evil on his wife.

If the man does not accept this option, then the woman is unlikely to cope on her own. After all, the husband does not want to change his wild habits.

2. In general, from the first year of family life, a woman should know that she should never, in any situation, be subjected to assault.

3. A woman must first of all have dignity and respect for her own person.

4. When the husband struck for the first time, tantrums will not help. You should pack your things and leave the house. A man should understand that she rejects such a relationship, firmly declaring: "This does not suit me."

5. What if the husband raises his hand to his wife regularly and no words help? There is only one way out - to leave him forever. Even if love for him has not died in the soul, you need to decide on this. Otherwise, both your life and the female psyche will be crippled by humiliation.

Declare war on the tyrant

Let us recall the classics of the genre, the American drama thriller "I've had enough." Heroine – young woman performed by Jennifer Lopez – at first glance, he has a completely prosperous family. Wealthy husband, beloved daughter.

But gradually happiness collapses: the husband turned out to be not only unfaithful, but also aggressive. He regularly beats up his young wife.

The heroine's patience is running out, she and her daughter leave the house. And he decides: I will no longer allow you to beat me, I will take revenge on the monster. Trains the body, strengthens willpower.

And in the end, she repaid her husband in the same coin: she made him feel why such a humiliation is felt by a person who has become a victim of a domestic tyrant.

Indeed, the easiest way is to complain to your friends: “My husband beat me”. And where is the strength of character, strength of mind, which will allow you to get rid of the beatings? After all, it depends only on you whether you will tolerate this situation or decide to change!

Take shelter from the brawler at home

It is unlikely that a weak woman will physically cope with an angry man. If you have no way to leave home – the only home where common children grow up, it is worth starting a fight not only for their own rights, but also for the well-being of children.

You cannot change such people, they will not spare even a pregnant wife, they will cripple both her and the future child. It means that everything depends on the woman, she must declare: "I will no longer allow you to beat me and the children."

• Why not start taking self-defense courses? In such a tense home environment, learned techniques may well come in handy.
• To learn not to react to outright provocations of her husband, it is better to pick up the children at this time and leave home for a while. In any case, she must pretend that her husband's attacks do not touch her.

• It is good if the house has a room with secure doors that are locked from the inside. It will be a haven during scandals. It is advisable that a woman always has a mobile phone with her.
• Try to find another place to live and get a job. Living under the same roof with an aggressive husband is dangerous for you and your children!

If it is too expensive to rent an apartment or a room at first, ask your friends or relatives for help with housing at the time that you are looking for work.

What is the correct way for a woman to behave if you are still in the same house?

A few tips from psychology. What to do if a husband beats his wife ruthlessly and regularly?

1. At the very beginning of the quarrel, having noticed that the situation is "heating up", you should not go into the kitchen, bathroom and other rooms where there are corners and sharp objects.

2. You need to find a temporary shelter in advance, where you can hide from the fighter. The local crisis center may offer assistance.

3. Don't hide. Call the police by phone, shout that my husband might kill me. The duty of law enforcement officers is to protect the weak and make the tyrant think about why he should not offend his wife and children.

4. If the beatings left bruises or abrasions on the body and face, contact an ambulance. They will not only help the woman, but also take care of the brawler's nervous system.

5. If you have to leave home for a long time or forever, a woman should have the necessary things, money, documents, valuable jewelry ready.

6. Domestic scandals and beatings do not pass without leaving a trace for the psyche of a woman. Therefore, it is imperative to resort to the help of psychology, which gradually eliminates the consequences of moral trauma.

Remember that the responsibility for your life lies primarily with you! Don't put yourself in danger, end a relationship that lacks security and trust. And, if possible, turn to specialists who can help in such a difficult situation as domestic violence!

If you like to give advice and help other women, take a free coaching training from Irina Udilova, master the most demanded profession and start receiving from 30-150 thousand:

It hits me when I express my opinion, or say that I don’t like something, it hits me once or twice a month, this has been going on for almost 2 years, tomorrow I plan to leave, I don’t know what to do next, but I can’t take it anymore. ...

I lived with a tyrant for 2.5 years. He beat me throughout my pregnancy and after. to say that he beat is to say nothing. He just killed, stomped on me. And I decided to leave ... yes, it's hard with three children, but I have to take them away from these troubles and stresses. We women are stronger than them.

Dear women, my advice to you, run and do not hesitate! Nothing can stop these fiends. Hit once will always hit. I never thought that I myself would be in such horror. Two years of hell, despite the fact that we did not live, but met. The first time he beat me, when he told me to stay drunk, I was going home, flew out after me and kicked me, punched me right in the street until people took me away. They took me to the ambulance, did not go to the hospital. My brother made me write a statement. I took him to the forest myself, tied him to a tree and otfigachil with bats ... But love, as it seemed to me then ... I took the statement made up. A month later, his friends had a feeling of something and I was taken to the hospital with a fractured rib, nose, concussion and all kinds of hemotomies and abrasions. Then again the hospital, and this is the last, I could remain disabled, he touched a nerve in the temporal part, I had a partial memory loss. My relatives consider me sick, I turned to a psychologist, because no one has ever beat me, and after all I forgive this freak. It's good that I have relatives and friends. Soon we will have a trial, and he is persecuting me in every possible way, so that I say at the trial that we are reconciled. I have no right to give advice, but it’s not life when you don’t know how it will end every day. Have pity on yourself and your children, I tried everything, dragged him around, threatened him with prison, and vice versa was quiet and obedient, everything is useless. Therefore, if you were hit the first time, run away from this bastard before it's too late, it will only get worse, this insignificance can kill you.

Svetlana

My husband began to behave very aggressively. I'll tell you what happened. First, he began to swear. Secondly, he raised his hand to me and hit me on the head several times, once so that I got a bump! Third, he broke the glass at the balcony door. And fourth, he was sober. I think that after this he has nothing to live. And I have two children, a boy - 9 years old and a girl - 8 years old. Svetlana

The husband does not drink or smoke. Working. But his mother is mentally ill. He breaks down because of a trifle and raises his hand to me, what should I do? And there are feelings, and plans for life. And he loves children, but his psyche is not justified.

And if we have part of the apartment bought with maternity capital, and the other part of the apartment is his! And he believes that everything is his! When I say that we bought it out with children's money and that my share and the children here immediately start to shake him, immediately terrible insults and beatings, strangles, turns his head

The husband is drinking. At night he turns on music, yells and dances. The daughter is sleeping in the nursery, she is 6 months old. Wakes up from the noise. I ask you to be quiet - raises his hand. Shouts that the apartment is his, and I was getting out of here. The daughter will take it for herself. Anger takes me. I can't live on lousy children. There are no centers. Nowhere to go.

My husband, as he gets drunk, beats me in front of children, tries to humiliate me. His father did the same with his mother. They live in another city, for 15 years I have not seen them, and now I don’t want to see them, otherwise I would have said in my eyes what a freak they brought up. There is nowhere to go, in the house where we live a lot has been done with my hands, children's furniture, household appliances were bought with my hard-earned teacher's money, and a small inheritance. He won't give me a bargain - he'll kill me altogether, or make me disabled.

Mamadochi

Yeah. I thought I would never let them raise my hand, and at school I was a kid - she was mutuzzing everyone. But trouble has come, open the gate! The first time he hit me on a booze, in the morning he apologized, but at the same time in complete bewilderment "what did he apologize for" ?! - she allegedly begged. There is catastrophically NO money in the family !!! And recently he took from the maternity 6,000 for alimony. Well, the other day I was putting my daughter to bed, and he again barked under a degree, so that the one-year-old child would not whine - you see, he wants to sleep, and then he completely hit the CHILD !!! In the morning I told him in "obscene" terms that such a dad would not be useful to us in life, and that his "spirit" in the literal and figurative sense was not in the house! And now I myself think how to live on 7000 maternity leave ... But on the other hand, "it's better to starve ..." than to let your feet dry on you. I will do everything so that my daughter never knows what hunger and domestic violence are! May the strength be with me ...

All crisis centers are only on paper. In Yekaterinburg, they offered to give up the children (they will be accepted), and the mothers anywhere. I asked for a week with 2 children, in the end nothing. The psychologist is on vacation, the lawyer is ill while renting an apartment - this is the whole piece of advice. We lived with friends for 2-3 days. The police summoned me and the children for questioning - why are we homeless. No help! Women, living a prosperous life, should save for a rainy day and rely only on themselves.

Good afternoon. How to convince a husband that he needs psychological help, and maybe even psychotherapeutic help. He does not drink, does not smoke. Gives flowers on holidays. we do not live richly, but we started repairs, and since there is not enough money to do it immediately and quickly. we do a little bit, but sometimes it explodes over little things. there are often moments that one or another thing cannot be put in place, for the reason that this place simply does not exist. A thing may lie in some inappropriate place for a long time, when I ask the question where it can be put, he says that he does not know. the conversation and ends with the fact that he promises to think and shift the thing to some place. then after a while he starts yelling why this thing is here. and when I start reminding him that he himself promised to shift it, then he explodes. He starts to shut my mouth, and when I explain to him that I don’t need to shut my mouth, but just so that he would remember, then he starts to beat me. it was mostly without children. But the last time the son saw everything. I do not want the child to be like that in relation to his wife. The apartment is written for a child. I don't want to go somewhere. I and the children are registered in the apartment. the husband is registered in another apartment. When I say let's get a divorce, he says you need to get a divorce. My parents won't understand me. What should I do?????

What is a man to do? He lived with his wife for 20 years. All these years he fulfilled all her whims and the whims of her children. In response, only consumer inquiries. If I have problems, then my wife does not say a word of support. You have to do everything around the house yourself, follow everything yourself, calculate, equip. As an example: the bedding sets were worn out almost to the point of holes. There is money in the house, time too (wife does not work). Started from afar: Kits wear out, can you pick up something? In a month: I would like to buy new sets for both us and the children, otherwise there will be holes soon. Do you want the two of us to go shopping on the weekend, choose something? A month later: There is a hole in our kit. When will you buy new ones? A month later: You covered the leaky sheet again? As a result, swearing on my part due to the fact that the bedding sets of children and ours are all in holes. Then swearing again. And again ... 16 years ago I bought a huge, at that time, 4-room apartment of 140 m2. While the house was being built, he brought home many catalogs with renovation projects, with samples of furniture and interiors. Himself at work for days, so he asked his wife: Look at the catalogs, let's do it as you like, we will buy the necessary furniture. Year (!) Asked. In the evenings he took catalogs himself, invited his wife to think about what kind of apartment and furnishings we want. No action on her part. I had to think over the design with the architects myself, carry out repairs, start buying furniture. And when the renovation was completed, and the apartment was almost completely furnished, my wife suddenly announced that she wanted to furnish the bathroom herself and choose a chandelier for our bedroom. It took 16 (!). We still don't have a chandelier in the bedroom, and the bathroom is not only unfurnished, it doesn't even have a mirror over the sink! Women, can you imagine your bathroom without a mirror ?! And so in everything. Once I went on a business trip for two weeks. Before leaving, I bought home everything I needed for 2 weeks, gave my wife an amount in the amount of the employee's monthly salary: this is for your pocket money; and left a large sum in the safe. I say to my wife: I bought the groceries, I left you the money. There is a stash in the safe. The next income will be only in six months! Don't waste them. Otherwise, we will have nothing to live on. I came from a business trip, and in the house there are no groceries, no pocket money, no money in the safe. And mine sits, claps eyes. The children began to grow up, the first conflicts about the upbringing process began. I told my wife many times: Even if I am wrong 100 times, keep my side in the dispute. The child must understand that the requirement of the parent is the law. The eldest son somehow immediately after school began to gather in the club. I will not let him in, because he will have an exam soon and he needs to prepare. He's in a pose. His wife lets him go. Despite my ban. Need to say. that I never put stupid prohibitions. I always explained to my wife and children what consequences should be expected in which case. But my wife always had a position - she will turn and stop, but I will do as I want. And so, step by step, day after day. I ended up hitting her. Just one time. After, once again, she did not as I said and turned her daughter against me. She immediately packed her things and went to her mother. Moreover, I feel that if she comes back, I will hit her again. So what should I do now? Do you think I'm a finished person? Inhuman?