Youth and beauty 

Three stories, how the issue of inheritance quarreled families - Salidarnasts. Meters are more expensive than kinship: how relatives fight for an inheritance Read life stories about insolent relatives

It happens when strangers are closer and more significant than relatives by blood. Yes, if only so, and then the evil released by a scoundrel-relative strikes with prudence or its senseless cruelty, the target that relatives are. I remembered one case from the stories of parents, as eyewitnesses and direct participants in the event. My father had a cousin, Ivan. There were legends about his stinginess, I already wrote that he treated me to an apple for work in his garden, when I was five years old, choosing the smallest one, stipulating that I did not work much, was distracted by the game with his three-year-old son. He was still envious, but in general, he was a low, insignificant person.

My young mother fell ill, the village paramedic suggested appendicitis, an urgent consultation with a specialist doctor was needed.

The time was long ago, there were cars in the village, but there were no roads yet, and it was winter. Horses were the main means of transport in those years. Father went with a note from a paramedic to his brother Ivan for a horse, he was the foreman and gave orders. The collective farm kept horses, as the main draft force, in large numbers, I remember a large stable across the river, horses grazing in the meadow. Ivan ordered to harness a restive, headstrong horse, explaining that the rest would be needed for collective farm work. The father asked for something else, which could be more important than human life, but the foreman did not give in, and there was no time to argue. He put his moaning mother in the sled and, swinging his whip, drove the horse. Most likely, the outcome of the case would have been tragic, but, fortunately, a cart was also moving in the direction of the city, the horse cheerfully ran along the sled track. The unknown driver stopped and, having learned what was the matter, put my mother in his sleigh, and quickly disappeared from sight. The father arrived at the hospital a long time ago, the mother had already been operated on, having removed the appendix filled with pus, and the surgeon reproached the father for the late appeal, and the pus would have spilled out in the peritoneum for a few more minutes. Mom recovered, and then, with the same adventures, he returned to the village after dark , went past the house to Ivan, knocked for a long time, but he was not allowed in. The conversation took place later, but that evening, the cousin would have been simply beaten, and he realized this without opening the door. Father later regretted that he had not asked the name of his fellow traveler, mother's savior, it was not up to that then. At thirty-five years old, Ivan fell ill, oncology, when he was already very weak, he sent his children for his mother and asked her for forgiveness. His father did not forgive him, on the day of the funeral he changed the roof of the house and did not want to go downstairs to see his brother on his last journey. Ivan's brother was a completely different person, they had friendly relations with their father.

More than ten years ago, a grief happened in our family - our grandfather died. After his death, four children entered into an inheritance, which included an old house with an area of ​​32 square meters with a wood-burning stove and the lack of any amenities in the house. There was a cesspool on the street - my grandfather always said that it was useless to have a latrine in the house, but he washed in a public bath, since it is located on the next street. The children have all lived with their families for a long time, with their own quite comfortable housing and the house was out of work. There was no profit to sell: by dividing the amount by four heirs, it was possible, of course, to buy a supported foreign car, but no one wanted to waste time, so they decided that if any of the grandchildren lived there, they would write off his house.

Nobody lived there for a year and a half until my sister graduated from the medical institute and decided to try her luck in the village, having received a million. She talked with her boyfriend (now her husband), with her parents and aunts-uncles, received the go-ahead to live in this house and a promise that as soon as her relatives could, they would write her home right away, and went to overcome difficulties.

How they and a guy filled out a bunch of documents, how they were bullied in a rural hospital, how they worked for three rates, and received for one, how they went to work six days a week by train, spending an hour and a half on the road in one direction, talking not worth it. I can only admire the steadfastness with which for three years, limiting themselves in everything, they lived in that shack, which turned into the house of their grandfather, and waited for the payment of the lifting allowance, and then another two years, while they were building a new house nearby. For eight years, instead of a hut, a large warm house with all amenities, a garage for two cars was rebuilt, a large garden was planted, a bathhouse, a gazebo, a shed for storing garden tools and construction tools, a playground and much more.

As soon as the question about the documents arose, the relatives heard: “our people”, “so we won't throw you out on the street”, “yes, we promised your house, but we keep our word,” and the documents were never drawn up ... And then one of the heiresses' son was going to marry, of course, money was needed, so she remembered that there was a house that could be sold. In a hurry, after consulting with a lawyer, going to court, she received permission to move in, brought this resolution to the realtor, appraised the house and now demands money in the amount of ¼ of the estimated amount for this house, which is about one and a half million, instead of 200 thousand that she could get it if the house was sold right away. Where did the promise to give the house to the one who will live in it disappeared? Where is the beating in the chest with the words "our own people, we will not offend"? And most importantly, despite the fact that in court the sister and her husband provided receipts for the purchase of building materials and contracts with contractors for construction and finishing, nothing could be proved. The aunt claims that she also sponsored the construction, gave the money in cash, and since her niece and her husband lived in this house, they signed everything themselves, they say, it was easier that way.

Now my parents and my sister and her husband have taken out large loans to buy back part of the house at the appraised value. And it was just such relatives who annoyed me - greedy, arrogant and unprincipled, like this aunt, because I constantly come across such stories. And she was also annoyed by the imperfect justice system, which decided to pay money at the assessed value today, and not at the time of inheritance, believing in a blatant lie.

The bed is clean, rich cabbage soup, we will always find clothes, if necessary, and we will help out with money - relatives, after all. Only something from them no return. If only they would treat them with a sack of potatoes, because they have more than a dozen hundred square meters. No, they are all poor. You have to keep the goats and chickens, feed the rabbits. But we, urban people, in their opinion, are rich, and if they come for examination or sell the same potatoes, we must always help them out. "

When a misfortune happens to a person, the first to come to the rescue are relatives and friends. But, unfortunately, it is people from among them who misinterpret the concept of hospitality, and some deliberately abuse it. This topic is relevant today and is often discussed in smoking rooms, in kitchens, on the Ykt.ru forums. And far from all relatives are a joy. For some, they are a burden. I will cite vivid stories, perhaps among the characters presented you will recognize yourself.

Poor relatives


- We gave gifts to our relatives, helped us with money, brought food in when they came to us. And they will never give or treat anything! We visit them and go to the store to buy food ourselves. They entertained us with eternal whining: "How to live and where to get money?" So we were surprised when they volunteered to take us to the village to visit my grandmother. We paid for gasoline, which they suddenly ran out of before the trip. All the way we bought food for everyone, and the child did not eat everything from them, so our wallet was pretty empty. They recently called and asked for a visit, but we lied that we were going to the event. This cannot go on all the time. Talking to them is useless, please advise what to do in this situation?

A rowdy relative


- My mother was very unlucky with a relative, with whom she has been forced to live for a long time in the same house. Recently, the situation has worsened - mom has to listen to his insults and all sorts of nasty things, endure his antics and dirty tricks. It came to assault, but a statement to the police and a fine put him in line. Now he only "makes the brain", but this is already my old mother decaying. On the words "get out", he responds by sending three letters and then getting drunk. Really endure until the end of life?

Quirky lady


- My eldest daughter is married. They live in a one-room apartment. Their distant relative lives in the "kopeck piece" of the husband's parents. She asked to go there five years ago "for half a year" while she was selling her apartment and buying a new one. But she didn’t even try to sell this apartment, but let tenants in there and lived in the apartment for free for five years. She likes it better in someone else's apartment. And the owners are afraid to tell her, they are afraid to offend, to seem crazy. It's time for daughters and son-in-law to think about children, they just need a lot of living space. The daughter and her husband are already looking for rental or mortgage options if they have a kopeck piece. Why is this necessary?

Old fools


- An aunt and her two high school girls fell into our two-room apartment like snow on their heads. And the circus began at my house! These two overage fools sleep during the day, go to discos and dates at night. I don't get enough sleep from them. In addition, we occupied the children's beds, we put them on our bed, and we ourselves sleep on the floor. The three-day visit lasted for a month. I said by direct test: leave, YOU HINDER US! My children cannot do their homework normally, no one gets enough sleep, and I was already worn out to cook for such a crowd. In response to me: "Well, you yourself were young, let them live still." What am I supposed to do?

A family on the altar of someone else's education


- I'm married. We live in the city, we shoot "odnushka". We both work, but I am still getting higher education. After some events in my family, I am extremely jealous of my personal space. Living with strangers depresses me and introduces me to a state of chronic stress. So, the crux of the story. My husband has a younger sister, who in the same year, when I receive my diploma, will graduate from school and is seriously aiming to enter a university. And she is going to live with us. I am totally against it. I tried to talk to my husband, but he doesn't even want to bring this up. He sets as an example his work colleague, who lived with his wife, children and parents in a one-room apartment - and nothing. This is NOTHING to them, but for me it is very bad. No, I have nothing against her, good girl, but I don’t want to live with her! I want a family in the end! I want children! And what kind of children can we talk about while she lives with us? His sister will study at school for a couple of years, then she will study for six years at the university, then look for work. And even having found a job, she will stay with us, because at first she will not be able to support herself on her own. And by that time I will be over thirty. I am not ready to put my family, my motherhood and personal comfort on the altar of someone else's education.


When I came to enroll in Yakutsk, I knew that I would live in a hostel. Although the father's aunt lived here with her husband and adult daughter, but once the head of their family said: "Come to visit - please, live - no." And I went to the hostel. No one was offended by anyone, because after all, he was not obliged to endure his wife's relatives to the detriment of himself. But why should I tolerate my husband's relatives at the expense of my comfort, at the expense of my desire to have a normal family with a child?


Help from my parents so that we can jointly rent a kopeck piece is out of the question. My parents don't want to know me. A year ago, they kicked me out of the house and forgot about me. I was kicked out because I did not marry the groom of their choice. Well, that's not the point. In general, no one asks me, and my husband's sister lives with us. And I remain a childless woman, because even conceiving a child will not work. No sex, no musi-pusi with her husband, no personal space. And his little sister doesn't help me at all. And he only wastes and eats up our money. I notice that she has become a burden to her husband, but he stubbornly repeats: “She is my sister,” and she uses it! I have repeatedly tried to raise this topic with my husband, but he just snapped back, called me an ungrateful pig and selfish.

Impudent little sister


- My friend's sister lived with her children for almost a year, my friend fed her, dressed her, washed her, didn't sleep with her husband because of her for almost a year, since my sister took her bed. Then this little sister became the fourth pregnant with no one knows whom. As a result, the husband of a friend packed his things, took the children and went to his mother, and my friend was left to cook with her sister and her children. But her patience ran out, and she wrote an application for her sister to the guardianship authorities. And when the commission came to pick up the children, my sister got ready and left for the ulus, where she quickly got a job and found housing. And she didn't even say thank you.

With a cucumber under your arm


- My father has a twin brother. Outwardly - one face, and everything else is different. I can't say that my uncle is terrible. He just flows through life, and his wife, our aunt, controls it. Yes, she is sociable, smiling, but impudent like a tank. Sometimes I just do not pay attention to her, and sometimes I am jarred from antics and actions! Everything would be fine, but our country houses are fence in the fence. There is no bathhouse on my uncle's site, and every weekend our relatives wash at our place. And for ten years they have never offered to heat the bathhouse or wash it. Never bought bath and soap accessories. But they steal everything in the bath! They take everything. In recent years, I have been hiding washcloths, toothbrushes, razors, towels, brooms in my own bathhouse. After the bath, we always have dinner at our house. At least crying - at least laughing: we have not yet come with the steam room, but they are already at our table, coming with one cucumber under their arm.


They have money, but they save it for a card. He does not even help his daughter financially. The aunt says: "Let the husband feed the pregnant daughter with meat!"

Everybody ride and ride


- In the summer, my husband and I and two children finally bought a two-room apartment. Now our relatives are overpowering, they got it - we have no strength. They believe that we are obliged to give them food and drink, give them attention and share the night. We ourselves have lived in a new apartment for about two weeks, and they all go and go. All the sticks to us, since we began to live in the center. We can't even make repairs and dismantle things after the move, but they have already littered all the aisles. How tired I was and began to swear with my husband, he cannot refuse them, so I am the only bitch for everyone. Sometimes I think that it would be better if we stayed in the "odnushka" where we were happy alone.

"Eat soup so that you don't eat stroganina"


- Although I live in the ulus, someone constantly stops at my place: either relatives or acquaintances of relatives from the villages. I meet my relatives with joy, sometimes I don’t want them to leave. I go to the city every summer for diagnostics, and there my sister lives with my relatives. Although this is not her home, she often asks: "When are you leaving?" This is very annoying. And once, when I was visiting them on New Year's, she hit me on the hand at the festive table, when I reached for the slicer and said: "I specially set you soup so that you would eat less slices." What is this hospitality?

I am everything, nothing in me


- My younger sister got into a very unpleasant situation, now she has to pay off a large debt every month. Working in her own city did not provide enough money, and she moved to another city in the hope of earning money. Her student daughter, my niece, also lives in another city, with our mother. When the trouble happened, I helped my sister and mom. Now I have no free money, but my mother, feeling sorry for her daughter and granddaughter, constantly asks for money for them. None of my explanations that I have a family and many problems of my own do not suit them. Mom is a pensioner. My sister is still looking for a well-paid job. The niece is graduating from the university and has been writing her thesis for a month already. He can’t get a job, he says: they don’t take anywhere. They are always poor, deprived. They will come to me and do nothing, they lie on the couch from morning till night, talk on the phone and buy clothes for themselves - oddly enough, they have the money for this. For a month of living, my sister bought only a can of canned food for the common table. I always pity her, help her, and when I come to her, they drive me back every other day. It's a shame when "native blood" does this.

The cup of patience is overflowing


Hello! I am 22 years old, since 2001 my mother's common-law husband has been living with us, he is not registered in the apartment, he has his own. I spent all my childhood in fear and on the nerves, because this man drank and drinks terribly to this day. At times there are enlightenments, but now it's even worse. He shouted at everyone, beat his mother - it came not only to threats, axes and knives were flying. I am scared for my mother, because now I live with a young man, I come several times a week, and my mother sees all this every day. I will finish my studies in June and will live at home. How can I get this person out of the house? After all, in words it is very easy, but he doesn’t care.
And we collected his things, and called the police, and the police, apparently, come only when the murder happened. And they said in an amicable way that they would not want to live with him. Now he threatens that if I report to the police, he will throw my mother and me out of the window. Because of this, I am afraid to appear at home.


There are not even acquaintances who could be asked to expel him. I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid that we will have only two options - either they will kill us or me, or I will do it, because the cup of patience ran out long ago.

Would you even drink some tea?


According to psychologists, if there is a violation of your personal space or time, then you need to hint and show in all available ways that their life in your apartment, on your neck or their requests for help are becoming a burden for you. There are ways to influence dull relatives. For example, limiting the consumption of various goods. Perhaps the sisters who live with you for a long time and buy themselves new clothes instead of food for the common table will understand you if you start to have dinner not at home, but in a cafe. It will be useful to sit for a parasite brother for a month or two without an Internet connection. Instead of chatting and playing virtual games, give your relatives a real mode called "Not a minute idle." Let them look after the children, help around the house, carry out various assignments. It is necessary to agree with the household.
If your relatives do not understand the hints and do not accept your regime, then you need to tell them directly to their face what you want from them. Feel free to tell them that they are breaking your plans and space. You can say not rudely, but quite tactfully, but bluntly: "I'm glad you, but time (food, money, patience of the other half) is running out." In this case, you can remind about etiquette, for example, after tea you have to go home or go to bed. "


As you run out of patience, you can more and more often raise the "topic of the road" - ask how and when are relatives going to get home, or when they end up with treatment, study, business trip, business? You can offer help with booking tickets and so on.


And with very impudent relatives you need to talk in their language: “It should be convenient for you, but it’s even more convenient in hotels”, “Can I help you get ready?”, “I buy bread on the table, you - everything else. If you don't like it, look for another place to live. "


In conclusion, let me remind readers of one well-known phrase: "We are not treated the way we deserve, but the way we allow ourselves to be treated." There is no need to go to extremes: be too sacrificial and allow relatives to sit on your neck. Provide them all possible help, that help that does not run counter to your views, plans, interests, wealth and other values.

What to do with "poor" relatives - drive or help?

Opinion of the townsfolk:

My friend has a story, I share it with you with his permission.

My friend, a native of St. Petersburg, God knows in what generation, is quite an ordinary man, he has his own real estate, a wife and children, a couple of years ago he inherited a three-room apartment from his grandmother. The apartment is clean, tidy, but clearly in need of repair, because the last time this very repair was done about forty years ago, and the furniture is all from that time. Due to the lack of finance for repairs and furnishings in my grandmother's apartment, they temporarily did not touch her, they paid for a communal apartment, and the apartment was empty, until last year ...

About a year ago, my wife's cousin, who previously lived in…, showed up. no matter where she was previously living, and tearfully asked to shelter her for a couple of months, until it means she earns money for rent and finds a decent job. My friend's wife was initially against it, but the friend himself thought “relatives,” let him live in an empty apartment for a couple of months ...
They met Anna at the station, took her to her grandmother's apartment, showed everything, explained, and immediately warned that she lived in this apartment for two or three months maximum, paid utility bills, and kept order.

It turned out that instead of two or three months, money for repairs and furnishings in the apartment was saved in only eight months, i.e. The cousin lived there all this time, no one bothered her, only occasionally wondering how she was doing, and whether she needed any help.
Arriving at the weekend with Anna, a friend and his wife were very surprised to see in the apartment, in addition to his sister, a peasant with a slightly swollen appearance.
The man immediately began to explain that it was very hard for Anna poor alone, and he helps and supports, and he also changed the tap in the kitchen, and by the way he does not ask for money for this ... Oleg (friend) listened to this heresy with the scent of fumes, and announced about the urgent relocation of Anya and her swollen roommate, three months have long passed, and the apartment will be completely renovated with the replacement of all furniture and household appliances, after which the apartment will be rented out at the market price. Although if Anna and the roommate want to continue to live here, then Oleg is ready to make a discount of 20-30% (relatives), because repairs and investments still need to be fought back, gave a week for reflection or eviction, and went home.

A week later, Oleg again went to visit a distant relative, but found that the locks in the apartment had been changed, the door was not opened, but he was answered on the phone, "listen, man, we thought, well, he doesn't care about this repair, we lived normally, they paid for the apartment, in short we do not agree to the new terms. " Quietly satania Oleg calls the district police officer, calls his friends with mounts, and his wife with papers to the apartment. Friends come to break the door (fortunately, a wooden one), a wife comes, a district police officer comes, the evening ceases to be languid. I will not describe how they broke the door, I will only say that in a week Anna and her boyfriend not only changed the locks, but also collected signatures from neighbors that Oleg does not live in this apartment, and has not appeared for the last year. And that means, according to Anna, they cannot move out, tk. he gave up the property almost voluntarily.

It so happened that my family has always been mom, dad and grandparents on my mother’s side. They lived together in a neighborhood in a village in the region. Dad's family lived a couple of hundred kilometers from us, my father talked with them, went to visit, but did not take me with him. Mom said they were a little weird. I never saw my grandmother on my father's side, my grandfather somehow rolled it up, bought me a toy. Aunt, uncle and cousins ​​also taxied a couple of times, the rest of the brothers-sisters remained behind the scenes.

When I was 20, my dad died. At that time, I had already lived in the city for a long time in a one-room apartment, which my parents miraculously bought during the crisis of 98. Some of the relatives came to the funeral, I remember my aunt and uncle exactly, we unloaded them a ton of things, hunting rifles, agreed to communicate and support each other. When their son got married, my mother and I were invited to the wedding. It was there that I met the rest of my relatives. And then it started.

The first bell was when my sister and boyfriend came to visit. My friend and I met them, we all went to the store together, bought beer and snacks, and the couple did not invest a ruble in the provisions. Then I did not attach any importance to this. Sister has arrived! Of course, you need to drink and feed.

The brother, the younger sibling of this sister, drove further into the city. He entered to study at some military school in the city center and a week later he knocked on my door. Say, it’s bad in a hostel, it’s impossible to live, my sister lives somewhere with a guy and some other people in a shack, another brother and a girl are renting an apartment, there’s no way to shelter them for a while! All this confused me, because an acquaintance studied there earlier and everything was ok. But no question, relatives, went to the school, wrote a statement that my brother would live with me, allocated him a bed at home and ... hell began.

He did not have an alarm clock, he set the time on the TV, in the morning some program started yelling, I jumped up, he woke up lazily and was getting ready to go to school. At night, you see, I "interfered" with him, sitting at the computer with headphones on. She cooked all food exclusively herself, buying food with her own money. And this despite the fact that then she lived in poverty, having only a pension for the loss of a breadwinner.

On weekends, the brother went to his mom-dad, returning, he told how he ate there. His ancestors had their own household, they sold milk and cottage cheese. At the same time, my brother brought the most from home - a bottle of Buratino and belyash. I would like to note that these days his aunt regularly visited us, who rode from their village to the city in a car and sold us clothes. Another, already my aunt, kept a lot of piglets and geese, even if only a piece of meat was handed over. Nifiga. Nobody even called me and wondered how we were doing with their boyfriend. Once I was stewing potatoes and was very late for the gym. I asked my brother to stir the food and turn off the stove. He froze, saying that he couldn’t do anything. She freaked out, finished everything herself. I said goodbye to him something from the opera - I cooked everything, don't touch the potatoes. She implied that everything was ready, his help was not required. Has returned, they are sitting hungry. I ask what I haven't eaten. Answers that I asked not to touch! Hmm. At some point, I got tired of everything, I started buying food exclusively for myself. My brother began to eat beach packets and bread, which he hid from me in the closet))

At home, he did not get away from the word at all. My friend and I conducted an experiment once. We left the crumbs on the table and went for a walk. This pretzel just cleared a corner for himself, put a notebook there and "studied" like that. In general, I also worked as a servant for him.

The apotheosis was the moment when I left and asked him not to answer the phone. They should have called me on a diploma, I didn't want to talk. I come back, a friend calls, asks what the hell is going on with me, someone picked up the phone, mumbled something and dropped it. I ask my brother what the matter is. The answer killed me - oh, this is Lenka, before he f * cked to call. I couldn't even find what to say to this, just a shock.

A few months later, my mother and I decided it was time to end this. I said that a guy is moving to me and if you please go out. My brother gathered his clothes, gave the keys and dumped into the sunset, leaving us huge phone bills. It turned out that he regularly called his mother long distance calls, although they agreed that this would not happen.

When it was over, my sister began to call me, who all this time lived with us in the same city, but everything was on the side for her. Chyotin's phone also flashed on the display several times. Of course, I didn’t pick up the phone. Scored on them. Ten years have passed since then, and I have not seen any of them again. And thank God! Such relatives to the forest!