Nighttime wakefulness of a child is one of the most common problems for new parents. Why does your baby often wake up at night, and sometimes does not want to sleep at all? Here are some simple tips you can use to get your little one to sleep through the night:

Try not to deviate from the daily routine. If your child wakes up late in the morning, trying to compensate for the lack of sleep at night, start waking him up a little earlier every day, thus encouraging him to sleep at night - at the same time that the whole family sleeps. So your baby will slowly learn to sleep soundly at night.

For your baby's daytime sleep, it is advisable to choose a well-lit place. This will keep your baby from sleeping for long periods of time, which in turn will help your little one sleep better at night.

If possible, try to increase the number of feedings of the baby in the daytime. That way, he'll get the much-needed nutrition at the time that's most convenient for you. Thanks to this, your baby will wake up less at night.

If your baby is easily distracted from the feeding process, feed him in a quiet and not brightly lit room. So your baby will learn to follow the regimen and, moreover, will be much calmer.

If your baby is breastfeeding, give him the opportunity to drink more milk from the one breast to which you applied it. So your baby can get more fat and nutrient-rich "hind" milk, which is responsible for feeling full. As a result, the number of nighttime feeds may be reduced as your baby wakes up less.

It is advisable to carry your baby in a sling or kangaroo, especially in the early evening hours. Thanks to this, your baby will be in a relaxed state, which will ensure an easy transition to sleep.

Try to maintain an atmosphere of calm and tranquility in the evening so that your child does not get overexcited. If your baby is relaxing in the bath, you can buy it before bedtime. If this excites your baby too much, bathe her at another time.

If your child woke up at night from hunger, feed him in a dark room. Let your little one get used to the fact that the night is for sleep.

If possible, avoid changing diapers at night. Since this process can finally wake up the baby, and then he may not fall asleep.

And don't forget to take care of yourself! Rest at the same time as your baby is sleeping. This is especially important for you when you have a baby who requires so much attention to himself.

Why do children wake up at night

The first step to solving any problem is to find out its causes. Therefore, in order to understand why your baby does not sleep well, you need to know some patterns of children's sleep.

Studying the process of sleep in the laboratory using electroencephalographs, scientists have found that sleep is not a homogeneous process, but consists of various phases alternating in a certain sequence.

The first four phases are different stages of the so-called slow, or deep, sleep with reduced body activity. After falling asleep, they replace one another for 2-3 hours, and you probably noticed for yourself that it is at this time that the child sleeps the best. Neither light nor noise interferes with him, he does not even wake up if he is swaddled or carefully transferred, for example, from a stroller to a crib. This is the time when tired parents can finally relax and breathe a sigh of relief. If an hour and a half after falling asleep, the baby starts tossing and turning in the crib, muttering something, making sucking movements, etc. - this is not a cause for concern. Usually this happens in a dream, at moments of incomplete awakening from slow sleep, and then the baby sleeps peacefully on.

After 2-3 hours, slow-wave sleep is replaced by the so-called REM sleep, or REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. It is called so because during it the eyeballs move quickly from side to side. With the transition to REM sleep, the electroencephalogram of a sleeping person becomes the same as that of an awakened person, his breathing and heart rate increase, temperature and pressure increase. It is at this time that your baby sees the most vivid and emotional dreams.

It is easy to wake a person during REM sleep. This is a protective function of the body at night, allowing a person to perceive danger signals even in a dream: a suspicious noise, a smell of burning, goit.d., and, if necessary, immediately wake up. And just at the time of the onset of this phase of sleep in a baby, his parents usually begin to prepare for a night's rest and make more noise than usual: they wash in the shower, brush their teeth with an electric brush, or look into the room where the child sleeps. If he wakes up, then the parents are often annoyed, because just recently he was sleeping so soundly that it was impossible to wake him up. (One young couple even complained in our conversations that their baby “seems to deliberately wait until the parents lie down comfortably in order to immediately get them back on their feet.” Poor baby! No, people learn such things much later!)

Don't worry if you wake your baby up during REM sleep, he would wake up on his own after REM sleep. Because a short awakening after each phase of REM sleep before moving to slow sleep is a physiological pattern that is characteristic of both children and adults. And there is a similar change of phases up to seven times a night!

This means that absolutely all children wake up up to seven times every night. Only some immediately fall asleep again, while others begin to cry, calling for help from their parents.

Why do babies cry when they wake up at night and how to avoid it

Why does it depend, you ask. Why does one child, waking up at night, fall asleep on his own, while another cannot do this without the help of his parents?

As I wrote in the previous chapter, the phases of sensitive REM sleep with a short awakening at the end are a kind of body security system that allows you to check whether everything is in order around you, whether you can continue to sleep peacefully. A small child, waking up at night, checks, for example, whether he is cold, whether he is hungry, whether it hurts somewhere, etc.

If the child is being tormented intestinal colic(usually up to 4-5 months) or teething(as a rule, from 5-6 months), then at this time they will interfere with his restful sleep.

Incipient disease also often disturbs children's sleep. A restless night may precede, for example, a cold or an intestinal infection. Symptoms of many diseases appear for the first time just during a night's rest.

Frequent nocturnal awakenings may also be reaction to vaccination. The still insufficiently developed immune system of the baby is in a state of alarm, the body throws all its strength into the fight against the intruder. And if at the time of vaccination the immune system was already busy fighting the beginning infection (still invisible to parents), now it has to fight on two fronts. She is overwhelmed with a new task, and the baby may develop symptoms of an incipient disease, which will also deprive him of a night's rest.

Maybe a child dreamed something terrible. Indeed, at night, children “recycle” the events of the day, which can be expressed in frightening dreams. If this happens occasionally and the baby quickly calms down and falls asleep when you appear, then there is no cause for concern. Regular nightmares can be the result of childhood problems and fears, which will be discussed in a separate chapter.

If your presence does not calm the baby and he does not even seem to notice you, then this may be a sign of the so-called night fright - a condition associated with incomplete awakening from a night's sleep (we will also talk about it in more detail in the chapter "Children's fears and disorders sleep for other reasons.")

And the child, waking up at night, checks whether everything around is the way it was when he fell asleep.

And what does it turn out? He fell asleep on his mother's warm, fragrant shoulder, and wakes up in a cold, completely different-smelling bed. Or he dozed off to the soothing rocking of the carriage, and now everything is still. Maybe he fell asleep, sucking on his mother's breast, a pacifier or a usual bottle of juice, but now they are gone ... And without them, the baby is not used to falling asleep. This means that it is urgent to “restore justice”, and the baby cries loudly with all its infantile strength, calling for help. His desperate cry cannot leave indifferent loving parents, and they, with difficulty tearing their eyes, give the baby something that helps him fall asleep. That is, they are again rocked, carried around the room, bring a bottle, sing songs, etc.

Having received the usual, the child quickly falls asleep again. But not for long: each new awakening ends with a new attempt to "restore justice." Moreover, the baby has already noticed that it is worth crying a little, and he will get everything he wants!

Tired parents are ready to do anything, if only the baby fell asleep as soon as possible. There is literally no limit to their fantasies. In addition to the most common methods of soothing, such as breastfeeding, pacifier, bottle, carrying, motion sickness in a wheelchair, etc., many use non-traditional methods. So, one father drove the baby for 20 minutes in the car, so that when he falls asleep, carefully transfer him to the crib. Many parents turn on music, but there are also those who start, say, a vacuum cleaner or a washing machine, because they have noticed that a steady noise has a calming effect on the baby. A common way of laying is the presence of one of the parents in the baby's room until he falls asleep. Many stroke the child, sing songs to him, or simply hold his hand. But one mother even climbed into the crib so that the baby felt her closeness. When the bed became small, this mother lay down next to her on the floor (fortunately the bed was very low), resting her head on a baby pillow. Some babies love to twirl their mom's hair, tickle her nose, or do something similar when they fall asleep. Often parents take a crying baby to their bed or, if the baby already knows how to get out of his crib, he climbs into his parents' bed himself.

No matter how convenient all these methods of momentary calming the child, they have one common drawback: the baby gets used to them and cannot fall asleep in a different way. Of course, if your baby, having fallen asleep in this way, sleeps peacefully all night, it makes no sense for you to change something. But usually a child who falls asleep only with the help of his parents needs it, both during the day and in the evening, going to bed, and at night. For parents, this means a reusable night rise. In other words: having solved the problem at the moment, they create a lot of difficulties for themselves in the future.

To avoid them, there is only one way out: your child must learn to fall asleep on their own in their own crib. If he learns to fall asleep alone during the day and in the evening, he can easily do it at night. In addition, studies conducted by the German doctors Kast-Zahn and Morgenrot (Annette Kast-Zahn, Dr. med. Hartmut Morgenroth, "Jedes Kind kann schlafen lernen") showed that children who fall asleep on their own in their crib usually sleep at night on a whole hour longer!

Chest, stroller, motion sickness in the arms - all this is good for calming the baby during the day. He must fall asleep in the evening in an atmosphere that will remain unchanged all night, so that when he wakes up he feels: everything is fine, everything is as it was when I fell asleep. For example, a pacifier can become a help only at the moment when the child learns to find it at night by himself. One mother even came up with the idea of ​​putting several nipples in the crib to make it easier for the baby to find one or in case the nipple falls on the floor. Many more children like to fall asleep with a soft toy in their hand. It is also easy to find in the dark, waking up.

And yet, the main condition for a child’s peaceful night’s sleep is the ability to fall asleep on their own, without the help of their parents. Every healthy child can learn this, and in just a few days. How to help him with this will be discussed in the chapter "How to teach a child to fall asleep on his own."

Of course, your baby will not immediately agree to give up pleasant and comfortable habits for him. But the efforts made will justify themselves, because a good night's sleep is important primarily for the baby himself. In addition, children are happy when parents are calm, and parents are calm when they get enough sleep at night ...

From the very birth of Anyuta, her mother calmed her down by putting her to her chest. That's how the girl fell asleep every time. In the first weeks, it was quite comfortable - the baby quickly calmed down and practically did not cry. In addition, she quickly fell asleep and slept for quite a long time. Then the problems started. Not knowing whether her daughter was crying from hunger or for another reason, Anya's mother put her to her chest even when she was not at all hungry. As a result, my daughter began to vomit frequently. Now Anyuta's mother understands that the small ventricle was unable to cope with a large amount of milk. Then she thought that maybe the girl was sick. And some "experienced" advisers even tried to convince her that babies vomit when they are malnourished ... Funny? Anya's mother at that moment was not laughing, and not knowing what to do, she was ready to follow any advice. Due to constant vomiting, the baby's ventricle was empty, and she again wanted to eat. I had to feed her every 2 hours, so half the day was spent on feeding alone. At night, my mother also had to get up every 2 hours. At 5 months old, when Anya switched to milk formulas and vegetable purees, the problem with vomiting disappeared. But the baby still fell asleep only in her mother's arms. The result - frequent night awakenings and long (for an hour, or even longer) evening wear on the hands.

Constant fatigue and the beginning of health problems forced Anya's mother to finally change the situation. Using the Ferber method (which will be discussed later), she taught her daughter to fall asleep on her own, and the nights became calm on their own. In addition, the baby now cried less, worked on herself more often, and her mother had precious evening time for rest and relaxation.

Three-year-old Pavlik used to fall asleep only in the presence of his mother. She sang to him, held his hand, stroked his cheek. Waking up at night, Pavlik also demanded his mother's presence, and the procedure for laying down was repeated. The farther, the longer it took the baby to fall asleep. If in the first 10-15 minutes the mother “lulled” the baby with judgment, then the fatigue accumulated during the day made itself felt, and tenderness was replaced by impatience. When she tried to tell the child that he should sleep alone, he loudly protested, climbed out of the crib, pulled his mother by the hand, and her loving heart again gave up.

So it was until Pavlik stayed with his grandmother for several days. In the evening, putting the baby to bed and hearing his plaintive request: “Stay with me!”, The grandmother said in a tone that did not allow objections: “No, dear! You are a big boy, you are already 3 years old. At this age, all children fall asleep on their own. Besides, I don't have much time right now. But I promise you that as soon as I finish my business, I will once again come to your room to wish you good night. With these words, the grandmother kissed Pavlik on the cheek and resolutely left the room. "Leave the door open!" he asked. “Fine, but only if you lie quietly in the crib,” Grandma said. When, after 15 minutes, she quietly approached the door to the baby's room, a peaceful, even sniffing could be heard from there ... That night the baby never woke up!

Teach your baby to fall asleep on their own in their own crib, and your nights will become restful on their own!

What to do if a child, waking up at night, cannot fall asleep for a long time

Many parents overestimate their child's need for sleep. And when the baby suddenly wakes up at night and cannot fall asleep for a long time (longer than an hour), when he wants to play in the middle of the night or requires the attention of his parents in some other form, they are often at a loss.

It's actually very simple - your baby sleeps too much in total. Compare the total duration of his sleep with the data in the table (chapter "When and how much children sleep, or Some statistics"), and you will most likely be convinced of this. And since the baby’s sleep is not optimally distributed throughout the day, he ends up sleeping just at the moment when it is least convenient for you - in the middle of the night. He is simply disturbed, the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness is shifted, which is very easy to change.

Now it remains only to distribute the hours of sleep of the child at a time convenient for you. For example, if he sleeps twice during the day, then, most likely, one is enough for him now, then the night's sleep will become more calm. The only, but too long daytime sleep should be “shortened”, that is, wake the baby earlier. Or, if it's more convenient for you, you can wake him up earlier in the morning. Another possibility is to put the baby to bed later in the evening. Whichever option you choose, one thing is important - so that the time spent by the child in the crib, in the amount, does not exceed the baby's need for sleep calculated by you.

And the consistency in your actions is also important, because in order to get used to the new regimen, the baby needs time (usually no more than a week). Of course, it is a pity to wake up a peacefully sleeping baby, especially in the morning, when parents still want to sleep. But just be patient for a week, and you will no longer need to wake the baby - he will wake up on his own at the allotted time. Well, for parents, getting up earlier in the morning is still more pleasant than “walking” in the middle of the night, right?

Igor, 2 years old, slept for about one hour during the day. Around 8 pm he easily fell asleep again, but woke up an hour later, and it was impossible to put him to bed until midnight. At midnight, he finally fell asleep on the sofa in the living room, and the parents carried the sleeping boy to the crib. In the morning Igor was not to be woken up, he regularly slept until 10 o'clock! The boy was clearly out of order. He compensated for the lack of daytime sleep in the evening, and the night's rest began for Igor only at midnight.

To restore the disturbed routine, it was necessary to teach the child to sleep longer during the day and go to bed earlier in the evening. In total, the boy slept for 12 hours. This means that daytime sleep had to be extended to 2 hours, and the beginning of the usual ten-hour night rest should be moved to an earlier time. To do this, the parents first of all stopped putting their son to bed at 8 pm. Despite the whims and fatigue, he had to go to bed only at midnight in the first days, as before. In the morning, Igor's parents woke him up at the usual time - at 10 o'clock. The tired boy “filled up” the missing evening hour of sleep now at lunchtime (his daytime sleep itself increased to 2 hours). It only remained to gradually move Igor's night sleep to an earlier time. To do this, his parents put him to bed every day 20 minutes earlier, and after 10 days the boy fell asleep at 9 pm and slept peacefully until 7 am!

Little Olezhka spent 12 hours at night in his bed (from 8 pm to 8 am). During the day he slept for about 3 hours. Everything would be fine, but around midnight the boy woke up and could not fall asleep for a long time. For a while he lay quietly, talking to himself and playing with his hands, then he began to call his mother, wanted to drink, asked to be held, etc. Only after three hours the baby fell asleep again.

Calculating that Olezhka sleeps for a total of about 12 hours, the parents decided to reduce the time he spends in the crib to this figure. To do this, they began to wake the boy in the afternoon after two hours of sleep, put him to bed an hour later in the evening and wake him up an hour earlier in the morning. In the first days, Oleg, out of habit, woke up at night, but fell asleep much faster than usual. Soon the lack of sleep made itself felt, and the baby began to sleep soundly all night ...

TIP OF THE DAY ____________________

If your baby can't fall asleep for a long time at night, then you overestimate his need for sleep! The time spent by the baby in the crib should correspond to his real need for sleep at the moment.

What else is important for a restful sleep of a child

In addition to correctly assessing the child’s need for sleep and avoiding unfavorable sleep rituals, the child’s general condition, the situation in the family, as well as how his day and time goes before bedtime, and how parents react to the child’s awakening at night are important for a restful sleep of the baby.

1. It's no secret that calm, happy children sleep better. A child is calm and happy first of all when he feels parental care and love. This is the most important prerequisite for his physical and mental health. The time given to the baby in the first years of his life will pay off a hundredfold in the future. And not even so much the time devoted to caring for a child as those precious moments in which you give him all your attention and all your love - play and talk with him, sing to him, rock him in your arms with love or just attentively, with admiration watching your amazing baby.

2. Very important from the very beginning a lot talk to the child. Especially in the first months of his life, when he still does not see much around, the voice and touch of his parents are almost the only contact of the baby with the outside world. Therefore, it is worth taking care that this voice is gentle, and touches and hugs are gentle. Still not understanding the meaning of your words, the baby will clearly catch their intonation. Feeling loved and desired, he will be able to more easily adapt to this new world for him. He will grow calm and sleep well.

3. Talking to your child is important not only for his mental, but also for his mental and linguistic development. Everything that the baby hears is deposited in his subconscious and will serve him well when he begins to speak. Therefore, it is recommended not to lisp with the baby, but to speak separately and clearly, using ordinary words and sentences. Cassettes with fairy tales or music will also help the language development of the baby. Of course, he will consciously listen to them later, but included as a quiet background, they will eventually do their job. The subconscious perception of a language is especially important if you want to teach a child several languages ​​​​at the same time from childhood.

4. Children begin to understand the meaning of your words much earlier than they learn to speak. Therefore, try to explain as much as possible to the baby in everyday life, comment on what you are doing, and call a spade a spade. For example: “Mom is cooking soup now. Look here: she takes carrots for soup. And this is a potato, it also needs to be cut. Or: “Now mom will put Olenka in a stroller, and we will go for a walk. We'll take a walk in the park, and then we'll go to the store for milk. Mommy needs milk to cook porridge for Olenka.

5. All children are unusually sensitive and feel without words. not only the attitude of parents to themselves, but also their condition. Therefore, if you sometimes have a hard time, do not rip it off on the baby. Better talk to him, explain that mommy is tired, so she is sometimes impatient, but she always, always loves her baby. Even if the child does not yet know how to speak, he will understand you with his heart. Well, if sometimes this doesn’t work out, it’s better to step aside and calm down before approaching the baby again. He would rather cry for a couple of minutes alone than witness your angry outburst. Take a deep breath, drink some water or a cup of coffee, eat a piece of chocolate - and with renewed vigor to the baby. When you return, explain to him that mom really needed to go away, but now she is here again and loves her baby very, very much.

6. In addition to your condition, children also feel very situation in the family. Friendly, harmonious relationships between all family members, and especially between the parents of the baby, are one of the most important prerequisites for his happiness, and, consequently, sound sleep. Quarrels, stress or depression of parents affect the baby, depriving him of sleep and rest. Even if the parents do not quarrel in front of the child, do not raise their voices, or in some other way do not show their problems, even the tiniest baby intuitively feels their condition and reacts to it.

Therefore, parents will help the baby a lot by thinking about themselves.

7. Find time for rest and for each other.

Remember that you are not only parents, but also husband and wife. Maybe there will be a grandmother or someone else who will look after the baby so that you can go somewhere together and just relax, like in the old days. You will see - you will return home with a completely different feeling, it will become easier to look at everyday worries, and life will suddenly seem more beautiful to you. You will help yourself and your child at the same time. What could be better?

8. Will greatly help baby's night sleep also walks in the open air. Especially walks in nature, in the forest, on the lake - a real balm for the baby. And for a young mother, this is also an opportunity to relax and recharge. Listen to the singing of birds and the business buzzing of bees, watch some nondescript beech or admire the beauty of flowers, and you will immediately feel how strength and vigor return to you. In winter, it can be the crunch of snow underfoot or the reflections of the cold winter sun in hoarfrost on tree branches. Even in a big city you can find quiet, secluded streets or courtyards, with trees or shrubs that will amaze you with their beauty. Listen to the silence around you and feel the silence within you. Forget for a while about all the cases, you still have time to redo them. These minutes are only for you and your baby, and they are now the most important in your life!

9. In order for the baby to sleep well, it also plays an important role familiar environment. For example, at a party, at grandma's, on vacation and in any other new situation for the baby, he may feel insecure and sleep worse. The same thing can happen if, for some reason, he is put to sleep in one or another room (for example, when dad is on a business trip, mom moves the crib to her bedroom).

10. A child can also wake up, processing in a dream some events and impressions that frightened or excited him during the day. It can be new faces or a new environment, a huge dog seen on the street or an unexpected noise that frightened the baby. In this case, the child is usually easy to soothe with kind words and closeness. Having got rid of the unpleasant vision in a dream, he will quickly fall asleep again.

11. When the baby grows up and begins to walk, they greatly contribute to his restful sleep. active day and movement. Play ball with him, catch up and hide and seek, roll him on his back or, holding the baby by the arms, let him climb up to your chest. Let older children run on the playground, ride down the hill, play with peers, ride a bike. Take your child on a visit, take a boat ride, just take a walk around the city or even go to a museum (for a while, any child will be calm, because he is curious about everything that he sees around). You will see - when the day is full of impressions, children get tired and sleep better during the day. But do not overdo it - the active phases should not last too long and be replaced by rest and rest, otherwise the child will get overexcited, and then, on the contrary, he will sleep restlessly.

12. For young children, the environment of daytime feedings is important - it should be exciting, not soporific (bright light, laughter, conversations with the child), so that feeding is not associated for the baby with falling asleep. In the first weeks of life, many babies fall asleep on the breast or when fed from a bottle, but then they need to be gradually weaned from this.

13. Older children cannot be taught to play in a crib, it should be associated for them only with sleep. Put the baby better in the arena or just on the floor, spreading a thick blanket.

14. For babies to sleep well, it is very important that they have warm and that they don't sweat.Therefore, children's pajamas must be made of pure cotton, and the blanket must correspond to the temperature in the children's room. Some time after the baby falls asleep, gently touch his back to determine if he is sweating, and his hands to find out if the baby is cold.

15. When a child sleeps during the day, no need to whisper and walk on tiptoe. If he gets used to sleeping in silence, he will wake up at night from any rustle. Small children sleep well during the day with normal, everyday noise, and for you it is an opportunity, while the baby is sleeping, to lead a normal life: talk on the phone, listen to music, watch TV or just do homework.

16. In the evening, many children, including older ones, fall asleep more readily if they hear their parents in the next room. The quiet sounds of conversation and the feeling of closeness of parents soothe the little ones and give them the opportunity to plunge into the world of dreams without fear.

17. To help your child sleep better at night, you can try reduce daytime sleep. For example, if the baby sleeps twice during the day, then it may be more appropriate to switch to just one “quiet hour”. (To make this transition easier for the child, at first you can lay him alternately one or two times a day.) And if he sleeps only once during the day and he is already 2.5 years old, then you can even try avoid daytime "quiet time" at all. Many children, having stopped sleeping during the day, begin to sleep more peacefully at night. What is more important for you - a daytime break or a good night - you have to judge for yourself.

18. Of course, the refusal of daytime sleep will require additional efforts from you at first: children who have stopped sleeping during the day are very tired by the end of it, begin to whine and act up. But if you hold out for a couple of hours, the child will instantly fall asleep in the evening, and you will not need to put him down for a long time, even if he was accustomed to this before. You will have a calm evening, and the child’s night rest will lengthen.

19. Just do not think that it will lengthen by the number of hours that the child slept during the day - this most likely will not happen. Kast-Zan and Morgenroth state in their book that even in this case, the baby will not sleep for more than 10 hours at night. My experience and the experience of the parents I interviewed shows that a child's nighttime sleep may well increase to 11 or even 12 hours. So, my daughter, who used to sleep 10 hours at night and 3 hours during the day, after giving up daytime sleep, at first slept only 10 hours at night (restructuring of the body). Then fatigue made itself felt, and my daughter's night sleep increased to 12 hours! Sometimes, on especially busy days, she still fell asleep during the day, but not in her bed, but, for example, on the sofa next to me.

20. For a restful night's sleep, a baby is very important for a clear mode. Always put your child to bed at the same time, then his “internal clock” will tune in to sleep at the right time.

21. If a child begins to toss and turn or sob at night, then don't run to him right away It's quite possible that he's just dreaming about something. If he does wake up, give him a couple of minutes to try to fall asleep on his own.

22. Before putting the baby to bed in the evening, make sure he's full. A hungry child will not sleep for long. If you are feeding your baby with milk formulas, buy a formula that is more satisfying for the evening. Or make the semolina thicker than usual.

For infants, there is even a special late feeding method when it is advised to wake the baby for feeding late in the evening at the same time, it is best before the parents go to bed. Having got used, the baby will be hungry by this time and will wake up on his own, but then he will sleep a significant part of the night with his parents. In some cases, this method works quite well.

23. But there are children who are difficult to wake up at the right time or who refuse to eat by the clock. Some babies, once woken up, are difficult to put back to bed. Rely on your inner voice - you can better than anyone else evaluate whether such a method is suitable for your child. Although, as they say, trying is not torture, you can always try. The main thing is not to forget that to test the effectiveness of any method, you need to use it for at least several days in a row.

24. Late evening feeding is the only exception when it makes sense to wake the baby at night. In all other cases don't wake up your child at night because you thereby disrupt the course of his biological clock.

25. In the first months of his life, a rare baby can do without night feedings. But, feeding and swaddling your baby at night, try to make him understand the difference between night and day now. Silence and subdued light will help the baby fall asleep faster again. At night, it is better not to talk to the baby and after feeding and swaddling, immediately put him in your crib. Getting a maximum of mother's attention during the day and a minimum at night, he will quickly understand the difference between active and calm times of the day.

26. Having reached the age of two months, the baby should gradually learn to sleep longer and longer after a hearty evening feeding. For this, some doctors recommend gradually increase the time between the last evening and first night feedings. If you want to try this method, then do not feed the baby as soon as he wakes up at night. Try to delay the next feeding by calming the baby in other ways. (In this case, as an exception, all methods of calming are allowed, except for a bottle and a breast.) If your baby has not fallen asleep during this time, you should give him some water or tea first. And only at the end he will receive the usual milk formula or breast. With consistent application, this method may well lead to success. Just make sure that the nightly soothing methods and the water bottle do not turn into unfavorable sleep rituals over time. And if the baby after a few days or a maximum of a week did not start sleeping longer, then it is worth postponing the use of this method for a month or two.

27. And it is also very important not to forget that your state, especially your confidence or insecurity in something, is immediately transferred to the baby. Therefore, if you are sure that the application of the method will succeed, then it will!

28. Starting from six months (according to some doctors - from one year old) age, any healthy child is able to go without food or drink at night. To wean him from them, you can use the above method, gradually stretching the time between night feedings. You can, on the advice of other doctors, gradually reduce the amount of milk (or water, if the child is used to drinking at night) given to the baby at night. If you are still breastfeeding, then you need to gradually reduce the duration of night feedings accordingly. Just do not overdo it, give your baby time to get used to the new situation. Doctors advise reducing the amount of milk in the bottle by 10-20 milliliters every 1-2 days, and the duration of breastfeeding by 1 minute per day. Feeding the baby for less than 3 minutes is not worth it, then it is better to abandon this nighttime feeding altogether and calm the baby in another way, for example, using the Dr. Ferber method, which will be discussed in the chapter "How to teach a child to fall asleep on their own." In the same way, supporters of the above method advise to calm the baby if he starts crying after drinking a reduced amount of milk or water. Of course, in this case, you will need a lot of effort to bring the application of this method to the end. 29. Whether the game is worth the candle is up to you. But my good advice to you is that before you start using any methods at night, teach your baby to fall asleep on his own in the evening. In most cases, night problems are solved after that by themselves.

Six-year-old Kolenka woke up every morning in a wet bed. Although his parents never openly quarreled in front of the child, he felt the tension in the family and suffered from it. Two weeks after his parents divorced, the boy stopped wetting the bed.

Two-year-old Julia is used to sleeping in absolute silence. When the baby fell asleep, everyone in the house walked on tiptoe, afraid to wake her. If suddenly something fell on the floor in the kitchen, someone coughed loudly, or a truck rumbled past the window, the girl woke up frightened and cried. Once Yulia's neighbors started a renovation. The whole day behind the wall they drilled, knocked, made noise. Much to the surprise of her parents, Yulenka quickly got used to the constant noise and slept well without reacting to it.

Dima was 3 years old when his parents went south with him. Until that time, the boy fell asleep perfectly in his bed and slept peacefully at night. At the resort, it was impossible to put him down in the evening. Unaccustomed bed, new environment and a lot of impressions did not allow the boy to fall asleep. In the morning, Dima woke up at the usual time (to which his “internal clock” was set), so he was tired and naughty all day. Returning home, the boy, with visible relief, climbed into his bed and immediately fell asleep.

Volodya was a very calm and gifted boy since childhood. He always slept well, learned to read before other children, was an excellent student at school, and surprised his parents beyond his age with mature thoughts. Parents claimed that their upbringing system was not special. But during the conversation, it turned out that from the very beginning, the mother talked a lot with the baby, explaining to him things that he, it would seem, were not yet able to understand. For example, turning on the vacuum cleaner, she told Volodya that it was powered by an electric motor. She explained to the boy that current flows through the wires, that the earth is spherical, that a house is built on a foundation, and that the flour from which bread is baked is ground wheat grains. But the most important thing that the child learned from her words is that he is loved by his mother and important to her. And one more thing - that the world is full of interesting, fascinating things, which Volodya always began to love to learn and discover!

TIP OF THE DAY ____________________

The main thing a baby needs to grow up calm and happy is your love! Rejoice in him, talk to him. Time given from the heart to a child is the biggest and most important gift for his entire subsequent life.

mom and baby

Well, there are many ways to help a baby fall asleep. But why, you ask, does one baby need help with this, while the other seems to be calm from birth, sleeping peacefully or, waking up, lying calmly in his crib?

To understand the phenomenon of calm children, look at their mothers. Ask them about how the pregnancy went, their attitude to life, relationship with a partner, etc. You will find that calm children almost always have calm mothers!!! Because nothing affects the physical, mental and emotional development of a baby as much as the state of a person who bears it under the heart, breastfeeds and cares for the baby day and night! The energy of the mother, her health and mental state, her joys and sorrows, worries and fears are transferred to the child and either give him peace and confidence, or deprive him of them.

Therefore, if you want your baby to be calm, take care of yourself first!

1. Already during maternal pregnancy a tiny creature hears, feels and perceives everything that happens around him. Everything that happens in the mother's body is directly transmitted to the baby through the umbilical cord. Her mental state reaches crumbs as if on invisible waves and fills her with joy or fear, calmness or nervous tension. If a pregnant woman gets enough sleep, walks a lot, eats well and - most importantly - enjoys life and upcoming motherhood, then the chances that the baby will be born calm are much greater than if she eats poorly, gets tired, nervous and quarrels with her husband. Thus, scientists from the Center for Research on Child and Adolescent Health at the University of Bristol (UK) found that prolonged depression mothers during pregnancy, as well as in the first months after childbirth, entails in 50% of cases violations in the development and behavior of babies!

2. Fatally affects the health of the child also smoking pregnant or lactating woman. The weight of newborns whose mothers smoked during pregnancy, as a rule, is less than the weight of other babies. Slowdowns or deviations in their development are observed twice as often, and often persist for life. Even the placenta, in which the baby grows and develops, in heavy smokers is usually not red, but dirty gray ...

3. Do not underestimate the danger passive smoking. If you cannot quit smoking completely, then at least do not smoke in the apartment or in the room where the baby is. Ventilate the children's room at least twice a day. Fresh air – an important condition for a calm, long-term children's sleep!

4. About favorable influence complete, vitamin-containing nutrition pregnant and lactating women on the development of the baby a lot is written and said. More than one scientific study is devoted to this topic. For example, scientists from the University of Groningen (Netherlands) found that Maternal nutrition during pregnancy has a stronger effect on the physical and mental development of the child than its nutrition in the first months of life. For the development of the motor apparatus and motor skills, omega-3 fatty acids, which are contained primarily in fatty fish, are especially important. But trans-fatty acids from industrially manufactured foods, fast food and sweets, on the contrary, slow down the development of the fetus and even, as researchers at Harvard University (USA) have established, in some cases prevent pregnancy. If the participation of these fats in the diet is at least 2%, then the risk of infertility doubles! You are what you eat, says folk wisdom, and, apparently, there is some truth in it.

5. Very important for a new mother as well fresh air and movement. Walking in nature, prenatal gymnastics, yoga, water aerobics or postpartum exercises will help you stay in shape and have a positive effect on the health of your baby. He will grow more calm and sleep better.

6. If you feel that your strength is running out, then you urgently need to find an opportunity to refuel. This is the most important and urgent matter of all planned for today. Set aside everything else. Try to relax and think about what could please you right now.

7. Turn on your favorite music. Dance.

8. Go to a neighbor or friend. Meet other moms.(When I ran out of strength, I often went to visit a neighbor - a mother of 6 children, who always surprised me with her calmness. Her children did something, and she calmly drank coffee with me in the kitchen. These meetings always charged me with calmness and energy. )

9. Talk about your problems and fears to her husband (unless, of course, he is ready to listen and understand you). If not, call a friend, mom or someone else who will listen, regret, give good advice. It is very important not to wear fatigue and tension in yourself. And the feeling that you are understood often brings relief.

10. If your baby does not go to a nursery or kindergarten, then maybe he can be left for a while with his grandmother or with a friend. Well, if there is no such possibility, then take at least a few hours babysitter. And try use this time not to run to the store or finish things (you can’t redo all the cases anyway). Do something just for myself, for relaxation and pleasure. After all, to gain strength, let me remind you, is the most important thing for tired parents, because their condition is immediately transferred to the child.

11. Or spend it time with your husband just like when you first met. To keep your love, you just need to always remember that you are not only parents, but most importantly - a loving husband and wife. You need time for each other, for conversation, tenderness and affection.

12. Find at least once a day time do something unrelated to motherhood. Go in for sports, watch your favorite movie, read a book - any activity or hobby that gives you pleasure and is not related to the child will help restore lost energy.

13. go somewhere for a few days or at least a few hours. If you have no one to leave your baby with, then take him with you. A change of scenery alone can often work wonders!

14. Pay attention to which meetings with acquaintances fill you with joy and improve your mood, and after which meetings you feel tired or restless. Try to avoid people who take your energy away.(you and your baby need it now).

15. Learn relax while walking with your child, doing housework, driving to work, etc. Think of something pleasant, pay attention to the beauty around you, nature, your favorite details in your home environment, gentle sunbeams ...

16. Refuse for a couple of years from the idea of ​​sterile cleanliness in the house. (You can place the vacuum near the front door and say to guests, “I was just about to vacuum.”) To feel comfortable, keep in complete cleanliness 1-2 rooms, in which the child does not have access (for example, a bedroom). In the same place where the baby is usually located, try to create a safe environment that requires the least maintenance, cleaning and nerves (tires on outlets, furniture that is easy to wipe, no breakable or valuable items, nothing that can crumble or spill, etc.). ).

17. Cook your favorite meal so you don't feel like you're cooking and "functioning" just for others.

18. And in general: do not forget that, in addition to the child and the family, there is also YOU ​​- a charming woman, an amazing personality, with your own interests, desires and needs!

Yurina's mother was a so-called cleaner. Everything in the apartment had to sparkle and be in order. Since the boy began to crawl, scatter toys, etc., my mother was constantly in suspense, no matter how he got something dirty, spilled or spilled ... In addition, Yurochka was a very active boy, and his mother rarely managed to bring any or work to the end. After several nervous breakdowns, she decided it was time for a change. She fenced off half of the room with a partition, removing from there everything that Yura could drop, break or spill. Yurin's mother fixed the lower doors of Yurin's lockers with special latches so that the boy could not open them. She rearranged the books on the upper shelves, and removed the vases, lamps, and crockery. In the partitioned off half of the room, Mom placed all of Yuria's toys, which he could scatter there as he pleased. There, in the corner, she laid a blanket and two small pillows on the floor. In this corner, the kid loved to bask with his teddy bear.

Yura was allowed to take only one or two toys into the free part of the room. When he began to pull out the drawers there, open the doors or climb in where it was not necessary, the mother put the boy in a fenced off part of the room. So she could calmly finish the work she had begun, protecting the rest of the apartment from chaos, and Yura had at his disposal a whole half a room to lay out the toys in his “order”.

Two-year-old Christina slept very badly at night. She shuddered, woke up in a fright, screaming, then for a long time she could not fall asleep. During the day, the girl was also nervous and restless. Kristina's mother was just as nervous (this is logical!) She had absolutely no time for herself and for relaxation. The baby's father worked late and also could not support his wife.

Then Kristin's grandmother came from another city to help her daughter-in-law. Already one of her visits filled the house with joy and relief. Christina's mom was finally able to calmly take a bath or go to the doctor. She started jogging in the morning and going to the solarium. (I must say that she was very lucky with her mother-in-law, who understood her!) And even ordinary purchases were much more convenient to do without a pram. Both mother and girl felt much better now. In addition, Christina began to sleep more peacefully at night.

TIP OF THE DAY ____________________

If you want your baby to be calm, become calm yourself! Laugh, enjoy life, and then your child will also prefer the joy of life to crying and whims.

Parental bed - pros and cons

Speaking about the calm night sleep of babies, it is worth saying a few words about sleeping in the parent's bed.

The opinions of doctors on this topic are very different. There are those who argue that it is natural and necessary for a baby to sleep next to the mother, that the constant closeness of the mother (at least in the first year of a baby’s life) is a guarantee not only of sound and safe sleep, but also of a healthy mental development of the child. In many cultures around the world, mother and child sleeping together is a common and self-evident phenomenon. Often even the whole family sleeps together in one big bed. Interestingly, children's sleep disturbances in these cultures are as rare as our children, from birth, sleeping all night long. Studies by Western scientists have also shown that babies sleeping in their parents' bed are rarely threatened with sudden infant death syndrome. In addition, the proximity of the baby at night greatly facilitates the procedure of night feedings for the mother.

But the parental bed has a downside. Firstly, a child accustomed to the bed of the parents of the child is difficult to wean from it later. Second, surveys of numerous new parents have shown that our children, in contrast to babies from other cultures, sleep on average worse in their parents' bed than in a single bed. Thirdly, the presence of a baby in a modern, already not too wide parental bed prevents parents from sleeping and relaxing. Afraid of accidentally harming the baby, they sleep restlessly. Giving way to him, they move to the edge or bottom of the bed. Or the child spins and wakes them up in their sleep. In addition, a baby sleeping in the middle of the bed is a hindrance to the intimacy of parents. And they can’t even talk to each other or read quietly in bed before going to bed, because they are afraid to wake up a peacefully sleeping baby.

What to do? Which option to choose? This question is asked by many young mothers and fathers.

1. If your child sleeps soundly and calmly in the parent's bed and you also manage to sleep next to him, if the situation is all(and mom, and dad, and the baby himself) satisfied then, of course, there is no point in changing it.

2. Parents' bed is also the perfect place to sleep. for a sick child. The proximity of the mother will calm him down, and the mother will be able to monitor his condition, temperature changes, coughing fits, etc., without getting out of bed.

3. If the baby wakes up from nightmares and cannot sleep alone, you will help him too by taking him to bed with you.

4. If the child is healthy and his presence in your bed makes you uncomfortable, it is better to choose another option. At first, and also while you are breastfeeding, it will be convenient to put baby's crib next to your bed.Even more convenient are special baby cribs that are attached to the side (without a partition) to the parents' bed. In this case, the baby sleeps separately, but you can reach him without even raising your head.

5. But if the child sleeps in your room, he must still fall asleep alone, without mom or dad by your side. After all, we have already found out that the main condition for a calm night's sleep for a baby is the ability to fall asleep on its own, without the help of parents. Let him fall asleep in your bedroom, in your bed or his own, but without your presence and without other aids (see also the section "Why babies cry when they wake up at night and how to avoid it").

6. When you stop breastfeeding, you will be able to move the crib to a separate room. For a baby who is used to falling asleep on his own, it is not so important in which room this happens. It is only important that he wakes up in the same environment in which he fell asleep, and then, when he wakes up, he will feel safe.

7. What if the child, who slept with you for a long time, has grown up and you no longer have the desire or opportunity to sleep with him in the same bed? Or if the baby who slept with you during the illness, having recovered, does not want to give up this pleasant habit at all? So, it is necessary to wean him from this with love, but decisively. After all, not only your sleep, rest or intimate life suffers from the current situation, but indirectly the child, who feels the state of his parents.

8. To wean the baby from the parent's bed, It is important that both parents agree with this decision. If the mother takes the child climbing into the bed of the parents back to his crib, and the father, at the first call, carries it back to the parent's bed, then, as you understand, there will be no sense. It is very important to explain to the baby why he should sleep alone. Even the smallest children, who are not yet able to speak, are able to understand their parents. Tell your child that you love him very much, but that everyone in the same bed is cramped and that you don’t sleep well because of this. Explain that when people sleep well, they are calmer, so it will be better for everyone. After all, a calm, cheerful mother is better than a tired and angry mother, right? Talk to your baby calmly and lovingly. The main thing is that he understands that “moving” to a separate bed is not a punishment, but a way to improve the situation. For older children, you can even describe the new situation as an encouragement: you have become so big and independent that you can already (and “can” is always more pleasant than “should”) sleep in a separate bed! 9. Once "agreeing" with the child, stay firm otherwise he will stop taking your explanations seriously. If he does get into bed with you at night, you need to calmly but consistently take him back to the crib, no matter how many times during the night this may be repeated. It is especially effective to take the baby back in turn so that he understands that mom and dad are of the same opinion on this issue. If you are consistent, the nightly "movements" will stop in just a few days.

9. With older children, it is quite possible to approach solving the problem creatively. For example, you can hang a piece of paper with blank squares on the wall, one for each day of the week. For every night your baby spends in his crib, you will fill in one square with a picture, and when the whole week is filled, the baby will receive a small reward. Instead of drawings, you can use stickers, magnets, magic wands, or other creations of your imagination. You can also use dolls or a soft toy, because the doll (or bear, bunny, etc.) "really wants to sleep in this little bed, but is afraid to be alone, she needs your help." If sleeping in your own bed turns into a game for the baby, he will be more willing to “cooperate” with you.

10. And believe me: having coped with this difficult task, the child will eventually be proud of himself!

Little Natasha woke her parents every morning at dawn, climbing into bed with them. Sometimes it happened at night too. The presence of the baby did not bother Natasha's mother at all, but now dad could no longer fall asleep and felt tired all day. Growing discontent and quarrels did not improve the situation. Something had to be done. Mom agreed with Natasha: “You can come to bed with us, but only after dad gets up. He leaves early for work and must get enough sleep.” So they did. Dad began to get enough sleep again, and Natasha and mom got the opportunity to soak up the bed together, and then also chat, cuddling up to each other under a warm blanket.

The spirit of contradiction, as you know, is very strong in children. And they especially want to have something that is currently unavailable. Alla's dad played on this, coming up with an unusual way to "relocate" his daughter back to her crib. Alla had been sleeping for almost a month in her parents' bed, which caused them considerable inconvenience. One evening, Alla's dad dismantled the crib and took it from the children's room to the balcony. "What are you doing?" – the girl was surprised. “You don’t sleep in it anyway,” Dad replied. She's just taking up space. So I'll take it away, and now you MUST sleep with us, you have no other choice." “Why should it?! Alla was outraged. -But I do not want. Build my crib again! I want to sleep in my room!”

TIP OF THE DAY ____________________

If the baby sleeps with you, and everyone is happy with the situation, so be it. If you do not regularly get enough sleep or the presence of a baby in your bed becomes an obstacle to intimacy with a partner, then it's time to "move" the child to a separate bed.

The influence of music on the development and sleep of the child

Even the ancients knew about the influence of music on the soul and body of a person. They tried to treat neuropsychiatric diseases with music and even use it as an anesthetic. The influence of music on the development and condition of children for the first time in our country began to be studied at the beginning of the 20th century by the psychoneurologist Bekhterev. He discovered that music not only develops and soothes children, but also contributes to their recovery and health. Music therapy used in pediatrics, for example, is based on these studies.

Already in the womb the baby hears sounds from outside. Calm, harmonious music favorably affects the condition of the expectant mother and the development of the fetus, helps the unborn baby to grow up healthy and calm. As the French doctor A. Tomatis established, it even increases the child's intelligence and instills in him an interest in music at a very early stage of development.

Well, for a baby already born, music is simply necessary for complete harmonious development. It develops the child's senses, sense of rhythm, memory, attention, creative thinking. The older kid learns to make and imitate rhythmic movements with the help of music, it improves his motor skills and coordination of movements. Music will help you soothe the baby, rocking him before bed or distract from the pain of erupting teeth.

Children who regularly listen to quiet, soothing music grow calmer and sleep better.(For example, excitable babies are encouraged to listen to soothing music 20 to 30 minutes after feeding.)

It is very good if the young mother listened regularly lullabies already during pregnancy. Having been born into the world, the baby will recognize familiar melodies. They will remind him of a happy intrauterine time, calm him down and help him fall asleep to the familiar sounds. A newborn baby will also sleep well under mother's heartbeat recording or intrauterine murmurs.

If you didn't listen to music during your pregnancy, it's okay - you can start it at any time. Turn on soothing music during the day when doing household chores. It will bring joy to both you and the baby. A newborn baby is still limited in its movements and does not see far. The enchanting sounds of soft music will help him to know the world around him. To begin with, a few minutes will be enough for him, then the listening time can be gradually increased. Starting from three months, you can not only turn on the music, but also, taking the baby in your arms, dance to it. And when the baby learns to sit, you can teach him to clap his hands to the beat of the music, raise and lower his hands, shake his head, etc. He will be happy to imitate you, and both of you will have fun. (Just don't let small children listen to music through headphones - the human ear is designed for scattered sound, and a child's immature brain can get acoustic trauma from directional sound.)

In the evening, the usual lullabies, and later and good tales help your little one sleep. To do this, they must become part of the evening ritual, which means the end of the day for the child and prepares him for bed. (For more on evening rituals, see the Sleeping Rituals section.) Choose a lullaby CD that you particularly enjoy and play it every day before putting your baby to bed. Soon the music will become habitual for the child and will literally start to cast a dream on him.

What kind of music is best for babies?

1. Of course, most of all, kids like native mother's voice(both live and recorded). Regardless of your vocal abilities, it will fill your baby with joy, confidence, love. There are even studies according to which children, to whom their mothers sang in childhood, develop better, study better at school, grow up more calm and balanced.

2. Babies can also be placed recordings of natural sounds: the sound of the sea, the singing of birds, the sounds of the forest, etc. Listening to the sound of the surf, the rustle of leaves or the chirping of birds, the baby will quickly calm down and fall asleep peacefully.

3. Many studies have confirmed that it is especially good for the condition and development of children classical music. It not only helps the kids feel calm and comfortable, but also promotes the development of attention, intelligence and creativity and helps to reveal the inner potential of the child at an early age. The French physician-researcher Thomatis especially recommended the works Mozart, since the tonal sound range of Mozart is close to the timbre colors of the human voice. In addition, Mozart used in his compositions sound volume transitions that coincided with biorhythms in the cerebral hemispheres. Tomatis found that children who listen to Mozart before the age of three become smarter. He called this effect the Mozart effect. And in the US state of Georgia, funds were even allocated to purchase discs of the Mozart Effect series for each newborn.

4. To calm the baby, you need to choose pieces of music. at a slow pace(“andante”, “adagio”). For example, it can be the second parts of classical sonatas or instrumental concertos. In addition to Mozart, music is recommended Haydn, Schubert, Beethoven, Vivaldi, Tchaikovsky... For example, you can play the second part of Mozart's Little Night Serenade, Schubert's Ave Maria, the second parts of Beethoven's piano sonatas, Winter from Vivaldi's The Four Seasons, Lisa and Polina's duet from Tchaikovsky's The Queen of Spades, The Swan » Saint-Saens or Glinka's Lark. On the contrary, an organ or classical works in a minor key can cause anxiety and anxiety in a baby, so they should be avoided.

5. You can buy audio cassettes or CDs of traditional classical music or classics arranged specifically for toddlers (where bells are included in the ensemble of instruments). You will see by the reaction of the baby which option he likes best. And they also sell recordings of classical music against the background of the sounds of nature - the sound of the surf, the sounds of the forest, etc. These audio cassettes are called: “Baby by the Sea”, “Baby by the River”, “Baby in the Forest” ...

6. Except lullabies babies are well soothed long folk songs such as "Oh, frost, frost" or "Ural mountain ash".

7. And your baby will surely enjoy the music specially selected for babies on children's disks(for example, from the Happy Baby series: Music for Newborns, Sounds of Nature for Babies, Good Night, Mozart for Children, etc.).

Try turning on different melodies for your baby, and you will soon notice that some of them calm him better than others. And over time, you may even pick up a whole collection of musical works, which you will call "My child's favorite music."

Tanya's mother loved to play the piano. She regularly sat down at the instrument during pregnancy and tried, despite the lack of time, to play even after Tanyusha was born. Once she noticed that the works that she performed with particular pleasure during pregnancy calm the girl. She started playing the piano every time before putting her daughter to bed. The baby immediately calmed down in her bed and turned her head in the direction of the enchanting sounds. A week passed, and Tanya's mother no longer needed to put the baby to bed - every time she herself fell asleep to the usual melody!

TIP OF THE DAY ____________________

One of the best ways to rock a baby is with calm, melodic music. It not only calms the children, but also contributes to their physical, mental and mental development.

We all know how important sleep is, especially for a baby, because it is in sleep that the very growth hormone that is vital for a baby is produced. Therefore, the rating of "mother's wishes" of our columnist, the leading culinary heading of the "Good Morning" program on Diana Khodakovskaya's First Channel, was headed not even by nutrition and physiological needs, but by sleep.

To begin with, six months ago, my dream was completely upset! My daughter Nina is now 1 year and 3 months old. Apparently, for 9 months after giving birth, I lived on hormones that nature generously allocated for motherhood. At night, I got up every 1.5-2 hours to feed my daughter. I lived in Nina's mode - that is, I slept when she slept. And everything went fine, there was enough strength for a lot. A slight lack of sleep was compensated by the first smiles of the baby. I remember this time as golden and happiest.

But in the fall everything changed. Night rises have become more frequent!

My daughter gradually crawled into bed with my husband and me. Of course, we were afraid to move, we did not get enough sleep. She began to wake up more and more often, although the feeding schedule at night was reduced by age. I know that there are children who, from birth, sleep through the night without waking up. If this is your case, know that you are very lucky! Or maybe you didn’t initially make as many mistakes as I did, focusing on the stereotype “everyone is like everyone else”.

And "these all" said:

“Nothing, it will outgrow”, “Probably teeth, be patient”, “Maybe the tummy hurts”, “Everyone does not sleep at this age, this is normal.”

And so in a circle...

I waited half a year. Steel patience, I tell you! Poor mothers of those children who do not sleep well at night until they are 3-4 years old! I can only express my sympathy ... because they endure in vain! I went to extreme measures, as I thought then (they still didn’t turn out to be extreme, it turned out surprisingly easy !!!), because from frequent waking up I couldn’t fall asleep quickly ... That is, it turned out that I didn’t sleep at all at night all the way. A short daytime sleep could not compensate for fatigue.

Once again, I am convinced that when a mother is happy, not only the baby is happy, but also the husband and relatives. The whole world is smiling back!

From a scientific point of view, chronic lack of sleep or inadequate sleep (and we need to sleep 7-9 hours) leads to very unpleasant consequences. The load on the heart increases, the hormonal background changes, the psyche is suppressed, brain function and metabolic processes slow down, nervous excitement appears, neural connections in the cerebral cortex are disrupted, and dozens of other negative changes in the body. And most importantly - greatly increased irritability! And if you sometimes have thoughts from the category “and the light is not nice to me”, then you need to either sleep or eat!

It has been proven that 80% of aggression is removed by the satisfaction of two human needs - rest and food.

So, I’ll tell you honestly, it’s a pity that I can’t live without exploits! I had to first bring myself to the handle, and then solve the problem.

After reading many articles about sleep, I learned that a child is able to sleep through the night on his own, starting at four months from birth! I had to teach this skill to my daughter Nina. I also learned that a strict regime of wakefulness and sleep is necessary not only for children, but also for adults. Although more on that later.

The first thing I did was, on the recommendation of our pediatrician, I called the somnologist Irina Stepanova. I want to warn you that without consulting a professional, but simply by reading about my example, you should not experiment with your child. It is very important to understand that each family has an individual case - it is important to take into account the subtle details, as well as the temperament of the mother and baby.

I share my experience to inspire and give strength to those mothers who think that their peace of mind is at the limit! I, too, could not wait any longer, and there was simply no strength for mistakes. I am grateful to Irina, an expert on children's sleep, for psychological support and especially for insisting on the rapid implementation of the program. Apparently, I looked and sounded, to put it mildly, at the limit!

According to the table “how much sleep a baby needs per day”, Nina at her age needed 13-14 hours, of which 11-12 hours fell on night sleep.

I looked at her daily schedule and realized that the child was not getting enough sleep. And from this he gets very tired and then sleeps badly!

Here is mine with my daughter sleep management program :

• You need to determine the amount of sleep the child has in hours.
• It is necessary to establish a strict lifting regime– no later than 7 am. And, accordingly, earlier falling asleep - at 20:00.

We dim the lights an hour before bedtime, do not jump, do not run, play quiet games. Of course, because of this, Nina's entire food schedule shifted. This was step number three:

• Make sure that breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner are at the same time every day. This also applied to daytime sleep and walks.

You know, life changes amazingly when you get a "regime" child!

You start adjusting your day too... and no one else has more surprises. The level of anxiety in the family drops significantly - try it yourself!

• Rituals for falling asleep and waking up.

Now this is my favorite time of communication with my daughter. At 7 am I say to my daughter: "Good morning!", I take her in my arms, we open the curtains together, go to the potty, brush our teeth, get dressed, laugh ... And dad often joins us, because it’s impossible to move away from this well-rested kitten!

And in the evening around 19:30 we go to her room, put on pajamas together, lay out all the toys, tell them "Good night!" I read a book to Nina and sing her a lullaby. This is warm and good for the heart.

It is important that the child knows your next step - by the hour and by duration.

To my surprise, I noticed that for half an hour Ninochka was "saturated" with her mother, and now, when I leave the room with the phrase: "Sleep baby", she does not protest at all, but turns on her side and closes her eyes, hugging her favorite toy.

• The room should be completely dark and quiet.

That is why we decided to move her crib to the nursery from our bedroom. It is important that the child loves his space. Your favorite toys will help you with this. And if there is the most-most beloved, then let the child sleep with her. We chose a soft little bunny and installed a baby monitor. So I can watch my daughter fall asleep on her own and control her at night.

It is important to introduce these steps gradually, day after day, and repeat them tirelessly so that the correct neural and causal relationships are created in the child.

I want to tell you separately about your mistakes before I knew what they were...

• Motion sickness.

Returning with a child from the hospital, my husband and I did not know how to make Nina stop crying and fall asleep. A pillow has come to the rescue! Our little bundle lay down on our knees under a lullaby and fell asleep sweetly. She felt so comfortable on a feather pillow, and her mother's face was next to her ... This is a good method for the period of the so-called fourth trimester of bearing. Babies at this tender age especially need the atmosphere that was in the womb: swaying, low thuds ...

Until 4-6 months, babies still do not have the opportunity to move independently from one phase of sleep to another, as we adults do. Our sleep is also intermittent, but we don’t remember it, because we have mastered the skill of falling asleep on our own.

And I want to tell you that our direct responsibility and the duty of parents is to teach this skill to their children!

You didn't think about it?! So this is mistake number one - we rocked our daughter to sleep until she was 1 year and 2 months old, when she didn’t even fit on the pillow! But then it was the only method available to us.

• Pacifier.

There would probably be no problems with a dummy if the child did not cry for it when he woke up, but found it on his own in his crib. To do this, you can put your baby in the crib about five absolutely identical nipples. But it didn't work for us. Therefore, at 1.2 years old, we weaned Nina off the pacifier.

• Night feeding and water.

I declare with full responsibility that I was 100% sure - at night my daughter is hungry like a wolf! She drank 4 bottles of formula and about 2 bottles of water. Can you imagine what a huge load on the organs, at a time when they should rest?! But I was adamant: since my daughter woke up, it means she wants to eat or drink!

And here is the news: at 7 pm the child has dinner, drinks at night at 8 o'clock and no longer asks for water until 7 in the morning, because he sleeps like a baby!

So, I turn to the answer to the main question: HOW did I manage to fix Nina's sleep?!

In two weeks, our routine and the ritual part of falling asleep settled down. The daughter understood that now she was going to sleep in her room ... It all began with this. I did everything that I described above, plus the mistakes she was used to! Namely: I rocked her, gave her some water, milk and a pacifier. Yes, I had to run from the bedroom to the nursery, but I knew my ultimate goal!

The first thing I did when starting the baby sleep program was to reduce the amount of milk and water every night by 20-30 ml. After two weeks, we removed the pacifier! With this, the daughter did not have any questions at all, oddly enough, as if she had never been there. The hardest part is the pillow! I understood that this would cause the biggest protest for Nina.

I'll tell you honestly, I was so afraid to remove the pillow that I put off this day X until the last!

Now I can say that the most important thing is to prepare everything well, follow the instructions clearly and decide on the very main day of changes in falling asleep the child. Psychologically, this can be very difficult, especially when the forces are running out!

As I remember now: at 20:00, our ritual for falling asleep begins - it is debugged by the minute. The daughter yawned and obviously wanted to sleep. I sang a lullaby to her without motion sickness on the pillow, just held Nina in my arms, then put her in the crib and with the phrase “Sleep daughter” I left the room with a stopwatch. I had to endure the five-minute protest of the child and enter the room again, hug her in the crib and gently explain that she could fall asleep on her own (I could stay in the room for no more than a minute).

A very important point: in order for your mother to be “in order”, you don’t have to cry, shake, fight in hysterics, be indignant. Children read it.

And here I want to thank Irina, who explained to me in detail that the tears of a child in this situation are precisely a protest, since for her the situation is completely clear, with the exception of motion sickness. She knows the room, she understands that she is going to sleep, her toys are nearby, her favorite pillow ... everything is there. She is not cut or killed! Those first five minutes were probably the most difficult for me, but they are worth it, believe me! And this can only be appreciated after you begin to sleep peacefully at night again.

In the first months of his life, the child mostly sleeps, waking up only to eat. Newly made mothers are mentally prepared for the fact that they will have to get up at night. However, it often happens that a child, having overcome, still does not allow parents to get enough sleep and requires attention several times a night. How to teach a child to sleep through the night? First of all, I would like to note that you will not solve such a question at a time. Will have to be patient.

It is best to start at an early age. Very often we hear such an expression as "the child mixed up day and night." This phrase means that the baby sleeps soundly during the day and is awake at night. This situation is typical for children in the first and second month of life. Parents often wonder "how to teach a newborn to sleep at night." The thing is that the baby does not care what time of day it is. Such concepts as night and day do not yet exist for him. In such a situation, you can advise the following. During the day, even if the child is sleeping, do not create perfect silence. Let there be light in the room. The sound of the TV or your conversations will not interfere with the child. At night, on the contrary, it should be dark and quiet. Thus, the newborn will learn to distinguish the times of day.

It may also happen that your treasure has already learned to sit, the first tooth is about to appear, and you are still forced to get up to him several times a night. How to teach a baby to sleep at night?

Children at this age do not sleep as deeply as adults. In addition, they need to eat much more often. First of all, you can advise joint sleep. Next to the mother, the baby feels protected and sleeps more soundly, therefore, wakes up less often. Try to adjust the diet, he should go to bed full, then the likelihood that he will wake up soon is small.

For many parents, the question of how to teach a child to sleep through the night remains painful for a long time. There are a number of standard tips that help a lot of people. Try to walk before going to bed and be sure to ventilate the room in which the child sleeps. Do not arrange active games in the evening. Set them aside for the morning or afternoon. A bath is a wonderful relaxing remedy. You can add various herbs to the water, this will help the baby calm down and tune in to sleep. After the bath, feed him and put him to bed. If your child likes to listen to fairy tales or lullabies, be sure to perform them for him.

Such simple tips on how to teach a child to sleep through the night often help parents. But keep in mind that all children are different, and what suits one may not necessarily suit another. What to do if, despite all your efforts, the baby wakes up and screams at night? Be sure to check that the baby is not sick, that he has a clean diaper, and he is not hungry. Only after that can we say with certainty that he is just being capricious. Do not approach him at the first call. Try to ignore. Usually already on the third or fourth night, the child learns to fall asleep on his own.

How to teach a child to sleep through the night? Everyone chooses their own method. The main thing that everyone will need without exception -