Understand that the person will not change. People don't change - true or not? Signs of a rival at work

Perhaps it is impossible to judge unambiguously. There are a number of characteristics inherent in each individual, which are called character. But habits can be replaced with others that are more beneficial for a person.

Is personality a constant?

Even speaking about character, we should not forget that an individual is able to improve it depending on his own needs and desires. Times change, people change. Many people have complexes that come from childhood. For example, a child closes down and protects himself psychologically. But when he grows up, an adult begins to understand that he no longer needs the old mechanisms, they should fall out of his head, like baby teeth.

Why do we act and think in one way or another?

Neural connections are created in the brain that consolidate in our minds a certain algorithm of actions, a list of options for actions in a given situation. For example, if a child was humiliated in the yard, he gets used to being insulted, but in the future this may affect his self-esteem and cause the creation of

If people do not change, they remain the same frightened children who cannot develop either in their professional or personal lives. And even if the outside world is benevolent towards them, the created neural connection in the brain says “Suffer, there is danger, evil and enemies around.”

As a rule, teenagers experience such contradictory feelings, but some carry this trail with them into adulthood. Do people change after mental traumas in childhood or those experienced at a more conscious age? Of course! The main thing is the desire to understand yourself, delve into psychology, and not think that it’s all nonsense.

Sometimes you need to dig into yourself

As a rule, when an individual gets a profession, a hobby, the attention of the opposite sex, or makes friends, the question arises in him: “So what don’t I like?” It's time to understand the reasons for your incorrect thinking and truly become the person you always wanted to be.

People don't change unless they want to. Even the types of temperament studied by psychologists are considered not so much an innate phenomenon as a phenomenon acquired in the process of development. Many justify their indecisiveness by considering themselves melancholic, or harshness, being choleric. But this justification does not change anything. Just as people did not like excessive softness and rudeness, they will not like it, but a person will have to live with it.

He can endlessly run from his shortcomings, but it is much more effective to deal with them, clarify everything, understand the course of his own thoughts and discover at what exact moment the path of development of the internal emotional sphere turned in the wrong direction. With the right amount of effort, you can change yourself. Don’t adapt to the surrounding reality and put on a mask, but show your best qualities.

Changing the background we are on

Human flexibility in terms of adaptation to the environment becomes obvious to us in the simplest examples. For example, in children's textbooks on the subject “The World Around us” you can see what is changing. In the top row of the table in one of the tasks, items that were used before are listed. This is hay, firewood and food obtained during hunting. Looking around, seeing tall buildings, cars, supermarkets, computers in every house and apartment, we understand that people's lives are changing. In the upper compartment of the task there are those household items that helped us survive in the past, and they will no doubt seem meager to us. Now a person has more opportunities. There is a huge and non-stop flow of information that we sometimes don’t even have time to absorb.

Due to the chaos and noise of the world, many people develop mental illness. And at the same time, the world has become more progressive. There is more knowledge about how to use the gifts of nature. If it were not for the achievements of scientists, we would be deprived of many amenities, but there were times when the development of scientific thought was suppressed.

Development inhibition

When it comes to the Middle Ages, we immediately imagine castle vaults, Gothic cathedrals, Crusader campaigns and endless civil wars. We visualize the fires that were made by the inquisitors, as well as among the feudal lords. This era is famous for such signs.

How did the ideas of medieval man change against the background of these external signs? Did they see the external environment the same way as we do, and what was the driving force behind their actions?

How medieval man’s ideas about the world changed can be seen from the cultural and mental foundation, elements of which have survived to this day. People of that time learned a lot of useful knowledge from ancient philosophers and sages. There were many prejudices and distortions in ideas during this period. It is this that separates the era of the Greeks and Romans from the period that they used to call the New Time.

How are people's ideas changing, for the better? Most of the authors who touched on this topic in their works argue that no, and characterize the Middle Ages as a failure in development, a stupor in which humanity found itself. The culture of European states at that moment was much weaker than in other time periods. There was noticeable backwardness, a decline in culture and moral values, and less attention was paid to human rights. This period will be cast in a dark shadow. That’s what they call its beginning – the “Dark Ages.”

Aspirations and Desires

In the novel “The Master and Margarita” by M. Bulgakov, Woland said that people do not change. But here we are talking more about their motives. It is well known to everyone that man has always been seduced by wealth.

Also such a passion as vanity is eternal. It was on them that the hero emphasized. But at the same time, it is hard to deny that no matter how great the progress of science, self-realization, closeness with other individuals, and mutual understanding are always important to people. Civilization offers many ways to entertain yourself without being surrounded by other people, but at the same time, nothing can replace live communication in terms of quality and impact on mood. There are many instincts left in human nature that sit at the subconscious level.

Instinctive level

Sometimes we don’t even realize why we act in one way or another. Take for example the love that takes place between a guy and a girl. Women tend to overly concentrate on their partner and, without receiving news from him for a long time, fall into a hysterical and depressive state. Of course, anyone who has taken the trouble to understand their emotions at least once and bring all their causes to the surface is less susceptible to such incidents.

If you blindly follow your instincts, you may notice extremely stupid behavior. So what is causing all this? If we remember the primitive community, we will see that men went hunting, and women prepared food and looked after the children. If there was not enough food for the entire tribe, the division of material values ​​was carried out according to the principle of force. And, of course, men measured their biceps. After the strongest one, the woman ate it, then the second most powerful one and his wife.

The instinct of self-preservation

So the idea of ​​modern ladies that they cannot live without their chosen one, called love, is pure self-preservation. Selfishness is inherent in everyone, so such a feeling can be explained by some benefit for oneself.

Nowadays, a woman can earn her own living, engage in intellectual work, but still in the subcortex of her brain sits the thought that without a companion she will starve to death. Hence the desire to be beautiful, the idea that the main thing in a girl is attractiveness. All because it was precisely by this criterion that they were judged. And this is the most banal example of how our actions and thoughts are controlled by instincts.

In fact, our ancestors before us did a very thorough job of creating survival skills, thinking mechanisms and other patterns that we sometimes use unconsciously. Everything changes, life changes, people change. Or does only the shell become different, but inside we are still the same?

What can be changed and what cannot?

The attitudes that are genetically embedded in us are almost impossible to change. We need to realize them and understand why we do this. The second large layer of information that is stored in our brain is the events of childhood. We have a set of species instincts, but now we need to develop our own, determined by the situation and events that are happening around us personally.

If an individual did not develop in the most favorable environment and was subjected to negative influence, his parents fought, drank, paid little attention to him, or, on the contrary, spoiled him too much, all this can affect the further formation of the personality and cause some complications. But such a person should not consider himself a moral invalid.

Almost everyone has similar dark spots, which at a conscious age have to be scrubbed off. The main thing is not to justify yourself, but to get down to business. Don’t complain that the world doesn’t accept a person, but first get to know and love yourself.

Everyone can change for the better

Sometimes we cannot change the traits of our character and body, but we can always find how to improve them, because in everyone there is a grain of beauty, from which we can grow a whole garden with beautiful flowers and healthy tasty fruits. To do this, you just need a hardworking cultivator who can get to the bottom of the problem and shed the refreshing moisture of truth on it.

Looking at scientific progress and the cultural heritage of mankind, we see that people have plenty of strength, intelligence and opportunities for development. Looking at wars, disasters and accidents, we also understand that if we do not come out of our delusions at the right moment and do not set our priorities correctly, this power may not serve the best purposes.

All in our hands

A person is both evil and kind, stable and changeable. The beauty of our life is that we ourselves create the road we follow. If people have the opportunity to change for the better, they will definitely be able to do so.

If an individual wants to throw his soul into the fire of sin and his intention is firm, no assurances can dissuade him from this venture. For the harmonious development of the world and the presence of only positive changes, everyone must learn to take responsibility, first of all, for their own life, judgments and actions, to make themselves better. Then all of humanity will be transformed. The choice is yours!

Have you already noticed the first signs of betrayal on the part of your loved one, and have you become suspicious? Does your significant other come home later than usual, citing the fact that there is a lot of work at the office? After a long silence at dinner, does your spouse sit down at the computer and reluctantly answer all your questions? If you really have suspicions of cheating, this article will help you sort it all out and understand what is really happening to your loved one.

Note: Attempting to monitor your spouse may be illegal in some countries. Before you do anything, find out more about the laws in your country.

Steps

Eavesdrop on the phone

In order not to go far, try to first solve all the problems right at home - using your phone. These days, almost everyone uses their phones for various purposes, so rest assured that if your loved one is not faithful to you, they will most likely give themselves away over the phone.

It is very easy to eavesdrop on a conversation on a landline phone.

• Just take one of the telephones somewhere far away and plug it into an outlet. It's best to put the microphone away or disconnect it so your breathing won't be heard when you pick up the phone to listen in on the conversation.
• Then, after the phone rings and your spouse rushes to pick up the phone, go to the machine and pick up the phone in one motion. There is no need to pick up the phone carefully and for a long time - clicks will be heard on the line, and you may be detected.

1. If there is a need for this, record the conversation on a voice recorder. Some telephones have a built-in call recording feature. Sometimes it’s enough just to wait for the moment when your significant other gets bored and still decides to call your loved one, despite your presence in the house. If not, just pretend that you are going for a walk or to the store, and then wait a little - sooner or later the expected call will come.

   • If you have a smartphone or a regular phone with a voice recorder, you can simply attach it to the handset of your home device and record the conversation. If your suspicions are actually justified, immediately pack your loved one’s things and send him to spend the night with his mother, leaving him without dinner. If it turns out that your significant other is just keeping secrets with friends, and there is no romance and there never was - well, smile, cook something tasty for dinner and continue to live as if nothing had happened!

2. You can also use a baby monitor. This very cheap and useful device will help you eavesdrop on any conversation. Of course, if you don’t have a child at home, purchasing such a device will undoubtedly arouse suspicion. But here, too, you can come up with something. For example, hide the device behind books, cover it with something, or simply paint it completely with a colored spray can so that it becomes gray and invisible.

   • You can paint the body of the device with a spray can or paint, just don’t forget to close the hole with the microphone first so that it doesn’t get clogged.
   • Place the device in the room from which your spouse is most likely to call their loved ones. It can be hidden behind the sofa, behind books, or in a drawer that rarely gets looked into.
   • Turn on the baby monitor and adjust the volume on the speakers so that only you can hear it when you have the device in your hand. To adjust the sound, you can turn on the radio in the room with a microphone and adjust the receiver speakers by going into another room.
   • When the phone rings and your loved one insists on picking up the phone, say: “Okay, I’ll go do my thing on the computer.” It doesn't matter what you say anymore. The most important thing is to make it clear that you will be busy with your own business. Now go to the far room, turn on the baby monitor and wait... If your fears are soon confirmed, call the unfaithful (unfaithful) taxi, and let him go spend the night with mommy... Of course, if it turns out that this is a call from work, and your beloved is visiting Moreover, if he finds a listening device, he will have to call a taxi for himself.

3. Record the conversation with a digital voice recorder. There are many different devices for recording, in the form of pens, flash drives, phones, many of them respond to voice commands. You just need to place such a device in the room, and it will be activated automatically as soon as your significant other enters and starts a conversation. Good luck to you!

   If you dare, you can eavesdrop and spy on who your spouse is communicating with via SMS and on the Internet. If you dig deep into your mobile phone or computer, you can find many interesting messages - including from his friends - regarding a new hot romance...

   • Read the messages in your email inbox. After all, if she is actually dating someone on the side, there will be evidence in the mail indicating the place of their meetings. You just need to set up one time to forward copies of all letters from her address to yours, and you can read all her correspondence without being noticed! Such settings can be found in the mailbox itself, or you can simply download special software for this purpose.
   • If your spouse leaves his laptop somewhere, it won't be difficult to look into it. Look at photographs and recently opened files, the last pages on the Internet that he visited. Open his message history on Skype or check his email. What if you get lucky?
   • If your spouse is careful enough and puts passwords on everything, no problem. You know her well enough to guess any password! If not, you can find a huge number of programs for cracking passwords on Google.

   Using other methods to spy on your significant other

   1. Use all available means. You can purchase a covert surveillance camera, they come in a variety of colors and shapes. For example, a camera in the form of a wall clock, flower pot or table lamp!

      Install GPS on his phone. You will see where your dear spouse is going with GPS tracking technology at any time, as well as where and for how long he is. The next time your husband tells you that he is going to be late at work, you can answer him “Yes, they’ve probably already waited for you at the Tourist Hotel!”

      There is an easier way - buy a kilometer counter. This cheap and simple device will simply record the number of kilometers a car has driven in a day. Did the spouse just go to work and home, or did she stop somewhere else along the way? It's not hard to calculate.

      Pay attention to your spouse's friends. Who does he communicate with most often? Do you know this person? Look at the way he talks to you. There is no need to directly ask what interests you. Just talk about where he's going to go and so on. Silence will tell you more than conversation.

      Look at your call history. You can order a statement with all the phone numbers your spouse called. See how often she calls the numbers of her friends or employees. Maybe she calls too often to places she hasn't called before? Based on the call history, it is not difficult to guess what is happening in her life and whether anything is happening at all.

      Analyze his behavior. Has it changed recently? Perhaps his interests suddenly changed, he began to dress differently, gained or lost a couple of kilograms, began to be interested in dancing, maybe he simply began to treat you coldly and lost interest? Has he stopped being interested in sex? It is not difficult to understand the situation based on changes in behavior.

      Watch your spouse, is she trying to hide something? Keeping secrets with friends? Maybe she has a second mobile phone? View the contents of the shopping cart on her computer. Often people forget to empty the trash after deleting files.

   Catch them in the act

   If you really think that he is cheating on you, but he is very careful - you could not find any phone calls, letters, SMS messages, it is time to give him the last and final check! But first you need to think carefully about whether this is paranoia? Maybe he is really faithful to you and is just tired from work? Maybe it's just stress?

   • Ask yourself - why don't you trust your spouse? Do you have an objective reason for this? Are there any signs indicating cheating? Often spouses suddenly begin to suspect each other of cheating without any reason. Perhaps, by an unfortunate coincidence, he gave you reason for such suspicions. Think carefully, maybe everything is fine with you and it just seems to you that he has taken a mistress, maybe you confuse reality with your fears and suffer only from self-doubt and low self-esteem?
   • If he shows less interest in you, it doesn't mean he's cheating on you. If he works late and goes out with friends, that's fine, sometimes we want to spend a little time outside the house. Over time, people get used to each other, when they live together and see each other every day, they slowly show less attention and begin to lose interest. Some people simply become workaholics, they immerse themselves in work, rarely remembering family life and marital responsibilities.

   1. Think carefully about how your spouse would behave if she had a lover. How would she hide her secret romance?

      • For example, she won't text him from her home computer or call him from her home phone.
      • She won’t lie that she stays late at work, but she will run to her lover’s hotel, because there is a high risk that someone will notice them together or tell you that she left work early if you call there.
      • She will meet him at the same time that she goes to the gym or yoga, for example, so as not to arouse your suspicion. A light novel doesn't require much time. An hour there, half an hour here. She can very cleverly hide her secret meetings from you. For example, going to the store for shopping and returning with a bunch of groceries, finding between all this a few minutes or half an hour to meet with your lover. So if you really want to know the truth, do it this way:

   2. Arrange everything to catch them in the act. Borrow a good camera or camcorder from your friends, and give your spouse a GPS tracker to monitor his movements. Hide a voice-activated voice recorder in his car or bag. Or hide it behind your bed at home, and then go on a business trip...

      • Be convincing, tell us about the details of your business trip. Go to a friend’s house or to a hotel outside the city. Don't go far from home. You can even book train or plane tickets to show your spouse, then cancel them and get a refund.

   3. Leave home. Call your husband from the airport and tell him you arrived successfully. Or call from your mobile and say that you are already there. Say that you have a lot of work and you won’t be able to call often anymore.

      Keep track of what your spouse is doing using GPS. If she went to a strange place, go too, follow her from afar.

      • Keep an eye on it (you can rent a car, for example). If you have a choleric temperament and you cannot restrain yourself from angry outbursts, it is better not to monitor her yourself.
      • If your spouse stays at home, just sit and watch if someone comes to visit him.

   4. If nothing works this time, you can try again.

      • If nothing happens, but you still have suspicions, call your missus and say that you will stay another day.

   5. If you still discover that she is cheating on you, but you were unable to get any evidence, try again. Just now stock up on a camera and a voice recorder. After all, if you want to leave your unfaithful spouse, you will need not only words, but also evidence.

   What to do after checking your fidelity

   Get ready to learn a lot of unpleasant things about your spouse. If he really cheats on you, you will be very offended and feel bad. This will change your whole life. Then you will feel bad for spying on him, and remember with self-loathing how you eavesdropped on his conversations... Prepare for the fact that it will be very difficult for you to sort out your feelings.

   If you find concrete evidence that your spouse is cheating on you, you have one more reason to be depressed. But despite all this, it is better, of course, to know the truth. You deserve to be with a good and honest person. Ask your friends for support, you may need to consult a family psychologist. Only you can decide whether to get a divorce or not.

   If you do not find confirmation that your spouse is not faithful to you, give up this idea. Most likely, your loved one is doing absolutely nothing wrong. Even if you are still sure that he is cheating on you, wait a little. Over time, he will become less careful and will definitely give himself away. There is no need to accuse your husband of cheating out of nowhere - after all, you haven’t really found out anything. Why needlessly spoil relationships?

   • There is no need to ignore your premonitions. Take some time to check your suspicions, if only to calm down.
   • Sniff your husband after another late return from work. Doesn't he smell like something new, alien? Another woman? Perfume?
   • If, when answering your questions about where she was, your wife touches her face - her nose or mouth in particular, then most likely she is hiding something.
   • Search his car. You may be able to find something unusual, something that belongs to someone else.
   • If your wife bought a second phone, this is, of course, suspicious. And if she also hides him, then that’s completely strange. Or maybe she suddenly set or changed the password on her computer, email, phone? Keeps your phone on silent mode all the time? Probably waiting for a call.
   • If your spouse appears nervous when answering your usual questions, don't stop talking. Continue in the same spirit - maybe your spouse will admit everything himself.
   • Make jokes about the fact that she is most likely cheating on you, and laugh. Watch her reaction.
   • If he suddenly started dressing differently, lost weight, changed his hairstyle, bought new clothes - this could be another sign that he has someone else. But not necessarily. Maybe it's just a midlife crisis.
   • If your loved one suddenly starts working late, often going on business trips and going to work on weekends, this could be another sign of a secret affair.
   • You can buy a special blue semen detection lamp and shine it on the car or her clothing.
   • If he receives a lot of SMS messages and responds to them (more than usual), then perhaps he really has something going on.

   Warnings

   • Be prepared to not like what you learn. Do you really want to know the truth? Think about it.
   • Remember that you are invading the privacy of another person, even your husband or wife. Before you do anything, you need to familiarize yourself with the laws of your country. In most cases, it is illegal to do the following:
     • In some countries, it is illegal to spy on a person without their consent.
     • Open someone else's computer without permission and view someone else's personal information.
     • Crack passwords.
   • If your worst expectations are not met and it turns out that you are simply paranoid, and your loved one finds out that you have been following him, you will greatly damage your marriage. After this, it is difficult to maintain a warm relationship. Perhaps in this case you should contact a family psychologist.

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By cheating, your partner is deceiving not only you, but also himself. Pay close attention to your loved one's behavior. Increased irritability, aggressiveness, making claims for no reason, anger, unwillingness to be at home - all this may indicate infidelity of a loved one. Men begin to actively point out non-existent flaws in a woman’s appearance or clothing, subconsciously comparing their partner with their mistress. Women, as a rule, change their style, perfume, hairstyle and established habits in everyday life.

If your suspicions are confirmed by your partner’s behavior, then you can try to show up unexpectedly at work or come home earlier than usual. Often it is at these moments that the fact of deception is revealed. Pay attention to such minor details as a new password on social networks, short telephone conversations behind closed doors, unnatural haste in everyday situations, and ignoring basic everyday requests. In the area of ​​intimate life, you will inevitably feel changes in your partner’s behavior.

How to get out of the situation?

The first step is to have a frank dialogue with your partner, avoiding conflict and emotional outburst. Control yourself and ask specific questions that are bothering you. After a difficult conversation, see how your loved one behaves over the next few days. During this period, you will calm down and look at things more soberly.

If the betrayal is confirmed, then only you can decide whether or not. Be sure to think about the reasons that led to infidelity, since deceiving a loved one requires serious reasons. In any case, do not despair and give up on your life. Advice from a qualified psychologist can also help cope with severe psychological stress.

Every married man has thought about cheating at least once. Experienced psychologists say that even the thought of adultery affects behavior.

It is a rare man who manages to hide his infidelity from his wife. I have a friend who pays a lot of attention to his wife, shows care and does not even look towards other representatives of the fair sex - that is, he behaves as a good husband should behave, and when she is not around (she often does on business trips) - sleeps with other women.

He himself motivates his behavior with the confidence that everything in his family life is exactly as it should be. Man does not worry about his infidelity, therefore does not allow various annoying mistakes , and there are no problems in the family - the wife does not even suspect that her husband is “walking to the left.”

If a man is well aware that infidelity is bad, that betrayal in family life should be avoided, he begins to worry about his adultery. As a result hiding your infidelity becomes problematic occupation , and the man (it has been scientifically proven that representatives of the stronger half of humanity do not know how to lie as masterfully and plausibly as ladies) “gives himself away.”

A smart wife will always notice cheating. To do this, she will not necessarily have such irrefutable physical evidence as the smell of someone else's perfume, traces of lipstick on a shirt and daily delays at work.

A man's eyes give him away! True, it is worth noting that in some cases they “don’t even hint” about his moves to the left. Then 10 signs of betrayal come to the rescue. After all, a man will not be able to hide everything in any case!

1. Forgetfulness and fatigue

He suddenly I started to forget your memorable dates : dating day, weddings He even remembers your birthday only after an appropriate reminder from the electronic diary. He stopped wearing a ring , putting it somewhere on the far shelf of the closet or hiding it in your jacket pocket. He constantly complains about being tired , explaining this reluctance to have sex or go to a movie together (restaurant, theater, etc.).

In principle, his lack of sexual desire is the first sign of betrayal. Even if its reason is in him, and not in you. Also one of the striking signs is that sex has turned into a banal input-output process: no foreplay or tenderness, record speed of sexual intercourse. In general, if previously multiple orgasms were the norm for you, now even a single orgasm has become a holiday.

2. Unusual behavior

Depending on the character of the man and the reasons why he goes to the left, his behavior becomes different from what you are used to. A sudden change in behavior is also a clear sign of betrayal. It should be noted that the behavior changes as if from the inside - outwardly he is trying to show that everything between you is the same as before.

There are two options here. If the wife is to blame for the betrayal (at least if the husband thinks so), then the husband behaves extremely irritably. But if betrayal is entirely on his conscience and, in principle, there is no one to blame but himself, then the spouse, on the contrary, becomes unusually caring, gentle and loving. Let's look at both.

He is “Soft and fluffy”...

So, he became slightly distant, thoughtful, very attentive and kind. Not a day goes by without him giving you some nice trinket or flowers, arguing for his unusual extravagance by saying that he simply “wanted to do something nice.” This is how a man tries to pay off, to compensate for his adventures with increased attention, even of a material nature.

...then angry and irritable

On the other hand, he can become harsh and boorish. If earlier during quarrels he was the first to seek reconciliation, trying in every possible way to smooth out the conflict, but now he doesn’t even think about correctness and gentleness. This often means that you are annoying him and are not satisfying him sexually. That is, he simply puts all the blame on you.

3. Mistrust

If earlier you had a common profile on your computer, one email account for two, now it created my own profile and email , putting clever passwords on both. He argues that he receives important documentation with work, - he is afraid that you might accidentally delete it.

If before his phone was lying around, and he often asked you to answer the call, now even in his heart he has conversations with business partners. He doesn't let go of his mobile phone , even takes it to the toilet, afraid to leave the phone unattended, “alone” with you.

Does not explain the reasons for such behavior or provides dubious arguments in their favor. For calls and SMS messages tries not to answer in front of you , - for example, goes out into the corridor or simply turns away, covering the phone screen with his hand from your curious or even indifferent glances. Every time it rings, he shudders anxiously.

He began to react inadequately to jokes and did not take well to jokes about adultery. Any playful hint (for example, “dear, what’s that long woman’s hair on your jacket, I have short hair”) confuses him.

He looks with frightened eyes and rather stupidly tries to get out of an unpleasant situation, to “hush up” it. He became thoughtful. Often he just sits or lies, thinking about something, silent, not hearing anyone and not seeing anything in front of him.

10 signs that a man is cheating on you

5. New things in bed

He uses new ones unexpected poses for you , and does it confidently and skillfully. To your “who taught you this?” He replies with irritation that he saw something like this in a movie.

The opposite may also be true - complete loss of interest in bed. Your husband no longer hugs you when he wakes up in the morning, for example. He makes comments about unshaven legs or a “not so” intimate hairstyle, which has not been observed before.

6. The smell of another woman

He smells like someone else's perfume. It only works if the “foreign smell” has been noticed more than once. This also includes taking a shower immediately after work . He didn’t even have time to say hello to you as a human being, but he had already gone to wash himself - isn’t it strange? This has not been observed in family practice before.

Women's hair appears on his clothes, scratches and lipstick marks appear on his body. By the way, because of the scratches he goes to bed in a T-shirt , hiding his body from you in every possible way. Supposedly because he is cold.

What gives away a traitor?

10 signs that a man is cheating on you

7. Changes in the car

He painted the car and began to wash it more often and buy new accessories for it. Front the car seat is moved back differently than you are used to , in the ashtray there are cigarette butts from thin cigarettes (you do not smoke or smoke cigarettes of a different brand).

Him expenses have increased sharply , but he argues this due to frequent car breakdowns. Because of these breakdowns, he is allegedly late home.

8. Change of image

If earlier he went to work in jeans and a sweater, not adhering to a business style, now he began to wear expensive suits. He became interested in fashion for men's shoes, buys bright shirts, new watches and purses.

He began to take care of his appearance . I signed up for a gym, a swimming pool, sometimes runs in the morning, started doing manicures and pedicures, and changes my hairstyle. He reacts nervously to your comments that you like him the way he is and you don’t need to change anything.

9. New habits

He changed the brand of cigarettes to a more expensive one, buys a different shampoo, eau de toilette, aftershave gel, etc. New words appear in the lexicon, moreover, more typical for women , sometimes copies the accent characteristic of his mistress. He has become more relaxed in public and flirts often.

10. Jealousy and calculation

The husband became jealous and picky. Constantly looks through your diary, meticulously reads SMS . He is looking for something to complain about so as not to be guilty himself. Moreover, even if it allows you to do the same, the list of messages and calls often turns out to be empty. In the phone book new phone numbers of men with names close to women's appear (for example, Victor, Alexander), but new women's numbers do not appear.

In the evening he warns that he will be late and will be back later, but tries to agree on everything - for example, that he will buy such and such groceries on the way home. He does this so that you don’t bother him with calls every minute.

10 signs that a man is cheating on you

I wonder what famous women think about male infidelity? What allows them to understand that a man is unfaithful?

I am still very young and in no hurry to get married, so I can talk not about adultery, but about the infidelity of a loved one. I am sure that you can do without newfangled modern methods - lie detectors and special agencies that send fake mistresses to your husband.

There are women who are very sensitive to fragrances - they always remember what their beloved man smells like. And if the aroma of someone else’s perfume is mixed with the natural smell, this is a sure and bad sign.

And simple everyday wisdom invariably works: all I need to do is look into my eyes. It's always incredibly difficult to look into the eyes of those you deceive.

In addition, I know for sure that there is no need to try to call a man to a frank conversation. Phrases like “we need to have a serious conversation” help him come up with excuses. The best attack is a surprise one.

You need to leave the man alone, not harass him with interrogations and create the appearance of complete trust. And then at the most unexpected moment ask him a provocative question. Taken by surprise, he will become confused and will definitely give himself away.

Faithful husbands today are rare specimens. You can always guess about betrayal if it happens.

If the relationship suits her - both morally and materially (you have to think about a family future with children) - and if she really wants to build a relationship with this particular man in the future, then she will pretend that she knows nothing. Of course, what could it cost...

Well, if the relationship has exhausted itself and you want to finally put an end to it, then betrayal is an excellent reason to leave. In a relationship, everything depends on the woman.

An intelligent woman feels everything, notices everything, and if she wants something, she always gets it. The main thing is to be wise and far-sighted. And don’t live by impulses alone.

Yaroslav KOLOMIETS

One day an exhausted woman came to me for a consultation. She plopped down on a chair and almost immediately tears began to flow. “Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?” – she repeated through sobs…. Our conversation with her gave a lot of food for thought. And I want to write about something that even those closest to you will never tell you. So….

1. They will never tell you that marriage does not save you from problems, or from emptiness, or from loneliness. Another person will not shut up or compensate for your own defect; rather, on the contrary, he will either strengthen it or expose it, and only you will have to deal with it.

2. They will not honestly tell you that it is more honest and correct to remain alone than to grab the option that is simply the only one out of fear that there will not be another.

3. Children are not always happiness. These are problems, lack of sleep, complete lack of time, and sometimes even life. If you realize this, great, but if you have illusions that with the birth of a child your life will smell like roses, think carefully about whether you should have children at all.

4. Relationships are a mutual responsibility, and if everyone is responsible for themselves, and not their partner, then everyone will be better off and more comfortable.

5. Those families that you consider ideal have their own problems and their own dark bottom. There are no ideal families.

7. All “I love you” ends quickly. If you haven't learned to talk, respect, and care for each other, then you shouldn't have gotten into a relationship. You haven't grown up to them.

8. Most couples lie to each other about sex. A woman imitates an orgasm, a man considers the spasm of his penis to be intimacy. Both walk around dissatisfied and angry. Learn to talk honestly about your sexual desires—learn to talk about everything.

9. If from the very beginning you and your partner have nothing in common, then it is unlikely to appear. Therefore, after a while, there is no need to complain, you initially saw who you were choosing.

10. Learn to admit your mistakes. If you realize that you made a mistake with your choice and the person next to you is not yours, leave immediately. Don't fool yourself or others.

11. People don't change. They simply open up more and take off their masks. You, with your love, will never change anyone. If a person decides that you are a value for which you can change your life, that’s his choice. But if you decide to take on the function of the Good Wizard, you are an idiot.

12. No spiritual practice will save you from real problems. Just because you stopped seeing them doesn't mean they disappeared. Therefore, solve the problems of the objective real world in this reality with specific actions.

13. Do not live by the advice of others and do not let non-professionals into your inner world and the world of your family. “Kitchen psychology” is good as a way to relieve stress, but very bad as a system of effective recommendations. Usually it all comes down to an exchange of brain cockroaches.

14. It’s simple with men: you need to support them, listen to them, feed them, give them and not take away their place in the house. It’s simple with women: you need to talk to them and give them security and a feeling of love. It’s easy with everyone if you’re sincere and don’t want to break your partner by any means.

15. You should approach creating a family and having children when you know why you need them. Other people's opinions and attitudes of society do not work here.

16. If you make a mistake, forgive yourself and move on. Life is too interesting and beautiful to turn it into hell with your own hands.