The child started smoking: what to do and how to react? Lying in adolescence: causes and a guide to action

18.07.2019

Probably, most parents do not want their child to start smoking. Especially, to smoke early, at school age. The most heavy smokers, most often, grow out of the teenage period of their lives. It’s worth thinking about this early, the personal example of parents brings up the best. Just an example: actions bring up, not words. If parents say one thing and do the exact opposite, sooner or later the child will notice a discrepancy between word and deed. And of course, he will point you to this, and it will be too late to retreat. The "no smoking in front of the baby" option works for a while, but keeps parents on their toes and is subject to exposure.

At preschool age, children begin to be interested in how a person works, they like to look at encyclopedias with pictures, where all this is clearly presented. In the same place, as a rule, it is also written about the dangers of smoking, and there are drawings with black lungs of a smoker. Be sure to focus on this and explain how smoking harms. This is where it can be emphasized that this is why no one smokes in your family. The child will begin to ask you about it, pay attention to the fact that many people around smoke. And of course, he will be amazed that not everyone understood in childhood how harmful it is. It is in such conversations that a negative attitude towards smoking is formed. Remember to note that this does not mean that these people are bad. Say they have a bad habit. A habit that is difficult to fight and not everyone wants to do it.

Unfortunately, all this does not give an absolute guarantee that the child will never pick up a cigarette. With the onset of adolescence, the values of the child begin to change, parents fade into the background, the first is occupied by friends. If friends or a girl they like smoke, then a teenager can follow suit. In addition, a cigarette is also a symbol of another, “adult” life. Everyone tries smoking sooner or later, but not everyone becomes a smoker. This should be borne in mind and not panic when you find the first signs of smoking a boy or girl.

As a rule, the first thing parents notice is the smell of tobacco. The smell doesn't really mean anything though. The student will tell you that he talked with older guys who smoked. And perhaps this will be true. Parents are alarmed by this answer, and they begin to check the briefcase and pockets. What to do if you find cigarettes and/or a lighter in your pockets? Firstly, this is the most difficult thing - to pull yourself together and calm down. In no case should you run into the room to your son or daughter and shake cigarettes in their face. Surely, as a child, you taught your child that it is not good to take someone else's things, that you should not rummage through other people's bags and pockets. And now you yourself have done it, and it turns out that you can, but he can’t. Refrain from this thoughtless act. Your child smokes - this does not mean that it is forever, and the end of the world has already come.

Approach the first conversation with your child about smoking calmly and deliberately. He already considers himself an adult, and you should be ready for an "adult" conversation. If you have good contact with the class teacher: you respect him and trust him, go to school first. Teachers usually know all "smokers". And they will tell you how many people in the class smoke and for how long. In no case do not remove responsibility from the child for his act. Do not blame the school, teachers, friends, and even more so, their parents. The argument that in your family “no one smokes, but in the family of his school friend Vanya both dad and mom smoke, which means they are to blame for everything” only provokes a scandal, and nothing more. The problem will not be solved from this, but will only be aggravated by the fact that the child will begin to be ashamed of you.

Threats against the child: we will not let him go for a walk, we will take away the phone, we will not give pocket money, etc. sometimes they really work. But in general, following the path of threats is unconstructive and does not contribute to improving relations. Moreover, you should not force the child to smoke a whole pack in front of you, "to discourage the hunt forever." It is also dangerous for the health and life of a teenager.

First, tell your child that you know that he smokes. You can refer to the fact that your friends or neighbors have seen him repeatedly smoking near the school. No need to say that he is "still small" and lecture. Smoking can be just an experiment. Thus, a teenager can protest if he is placed in too “narrow limits” at home. Now it's too late to talk about the dangers of smoking in the language you used to do it when he was still a preschooler. A picture with black lungs of a teenager smoker will not impress, proverbs and sayings about the dangers of smoking, too. Put him one step next to you, do not raise your voice. Let him understand that you still love him, you only dislike his new habit.

You should not go to the other extreme - to allow smoking openly at home, to provide funds for cigarettes. Don't give your child the right to smoke. But do not be inactive, “do not close your eyes” to the problem. Let the teenager make his own choice. Emphasize that you consider him an adult, warn of the consequences. Express the hope that he will soon make the right decision. Your son or daughter must trust you. Then smoking will no longer be a "forbidden fruit", which, as you know, is sweet. For yourself, try to understand why the child started smoking. Maybe he lacks your attention, or new experiences, or he is attracted to danger. Find a replacement for this, direct the energy "in a peaceful direction." Perhaps you will give the child a little more freedom, a little more rights. But remember that new rights come with new responsibilities. When there is no hard dictate, the understanding that smoking is “not cool” comes by itself.

Unfortunately, if a teenager is caught smoking, then this is most likely not the first cigarette. That is, smoking has become a bad habit that is detrimental to his health. But it is very important for parents not to panic, there is no need to make scandals, not to push the child away from themselves with screams and threats.

A teenager starts smoking not out of a desire to spite his parents. The reason for smoking in adolescence is the desire to assert oneself, to be no worse than peers, to demonstrate one's independence and independence. But if a teenager realizes the need for self-affirmation and respect from others in such a rather destructive form, this is a signal of the presence of psychological problems. This means that the teenager was not understood and heard by his parents in time, his need for trust, respect and understanding remained not understood on their part. Of course, smoking, from the point of view of parents, is bad. But you can't blame the child alone. It is important to try to establish contact with him, to restore the broken trust. Whatever happens, a teenager must feel that you accept him for who he is, with his problems and even bad habits.

Intimate talk

As with all issues related to teenage issues, the universal recommendation is a heart-to-heart talk. Try to understand what motives, problems and experiences prompted your son or daughter to smoke. Do not scold the teenager, but do not hide that you are upset, and most importantly, that you care about the child's health and state of mind.

It is better if the conversation on such a complex topic is led by the person in the family with whom the most trusting and warm relationship is - it can be one of the parents, or grandfather, grandmother, aunt. Ask what cigarettes he smokes, how often, how much per day, when and under what circumstances he tried for the first time.

But if a teenager closes in on himself, does not answer your questions, you should not forbid him to walk, chat with friends, deprive him of pocket money. By doing this, you will only provoke to break the prohibitions, to start smoking out of spite, out of a teenage sense of contradiction.

Education by example

Try to push your teenager to the decision to quit smoking and support him in every possible way in this endeavor. Share your experience if you have quit or are quitting smoking. Offer to quit together if you smoke yourself. However, in the latter case, you must be able to really quit so that the teenager cannot accuse you of dishonesty, and "double standards."

In any case, remember that a teenager especially needs the support and understanding of the family, a calm home environment with a trusting and respectful attitude of parents. And smoking a teenager is not a reason to make the situation unbearable due to constant lectures and scandals.

The scourge of modern society. Let them tell us about drugs and smoking from TV screens, constantly increase the cost of cigarettes, alcohol and other "nasty things" and actively promote, there are no fewer smokers. Where one cigarette goes out, two are lit on the other side of the world. The statistics are not encouraging.

The problem of smoking is especially acute for the younger generation. The age at which teenagers start smoking is getting smaller and smaller every year. Girls try their first cigarette by the age of 13, and boys have smoked almost since the first grade. And you won’t explain the frightening statistics to them, you won’t cite the lungs of a smoker as an example, and you won’t tell them about dead horses and aesthetics, because children and teenagers have their own point of view on everything and begin to think about the consequences only when they feel the whole thing in practice. But what about parents? WANT.ua will tell you what to do if a child starts smoking!

HOW TO KNOW WHAT YOUR CHILD IS SMOKING

Attentive parents will immediately notice the signs of a smoking child, but this is only if they themselves do not smoke. The smell of cigarette smoke eats into the skin, hair, clothes. A person who has recently started smoking has, gradually his teeth and nails turn yellow, the color of his face and hands changes. These signs are especially characteristic of those who smoke cheap cigarettes.

The psycho-emotional state can also give out a smoker. When a child cannot get rid of your presence for a long time or leave to smoke, he begins to get nervous, pull his nails, snap, and behave aggressively.

If a child smokes not cigarettes, but weed or spices, he begins to experience instability of emotional behavior - he rushes from one extreme to another.

Moreover, you will definitely someday stumble upon a pack of cigarettes from a child, a lighter or tobacco in a bag or pockets. Constant chewing of gum can also lead to the thought of.

WHY THE CHILD SMOKES

When you find that a child smokes, you should not rush from one extreme to another, get nervous, scream, punish and force him to smoke 5 packs of cigarettes in a row, hoping that this method will completely turn him away from addiction.

Best sit down and calm down, think about why he started smoking. Even better, call the child to a frank conversation to find out the reason for smoking, and start from it, solving this problem.

There are many reasons why children smoke:

The child became interested in what cigarettes are and he could not stop;
A bad example - relatives, parents, acquaintances and friends smoke;
It's just that with a cigarette he looks older and "cooler";
Pressure from friends;
Colorful advertising and drawing of prizes from manufacturers;
To the evil of parents, because they control every step of the child;
The Forbidden fruit is sweet;
Boredom, lack of impressions, a lot of free time, inability to realize oneself in society;
The need for self-expression, independence, independence in decision-making.

Once you figure out the cause, you can fix the problem. It makes no sense to tell your child about the dangers of smoking, to put on frightening documentaries for him, to show photos of the lungs of a smoker if you yourself smoke. The best way to show your child the dangers of smoking is by personal example.

WHERE TO RUN AND WHAT TO DO

You don’t need to run anywhere - that’s exactly, exactly the same as grabbing a child’s belt or collar with screams. The problem must be approached seriously, thoughtfully and carefully. Not a single cry and punishment has had an effect on the child for a long time.. All for the time being. Locking him at home won't accomplish anything either - you won't be able to lock your child up until their 18th birthday, right? Sooner or later, house arrest will have to be canceled and it is not a fact that the child will not return to cigarettes again.

It is important for children to be given the right to choose - this often works. Some children, through smoking, want to draw their parents' attention to themselves, to feel their need and parental indifference.

If you give your child the right to choose by talking about the possible consequences (without intimidation, of course), there is an option that the child himself will refuse cigarettes.

Some parents, having learned that a child smokes, begin to give him money for cigarettes, so that he does not smoke all sorts of filth and are allowed to smoke in their presence. This is a rather controversial method that speaks of permissiveness: a child can go further, since his right to smoke was recognized. Still, it’s better not to give money for cigarettes, and even more so not to buy smoke. Let him invest in his new "hobby" pocket money that you usually give him - when he feels that for the sake of cigarettes he has to deny himself other pleasures and purchases, he will smoke less, or maybe even quit.

You can introduce the child to an authoritative and non-smoking personwhom he will listen to. The opinion from the outside works much better than the conversations of the parents.

Pay attention to the situation in the family. Trouble, quarrels, scandals can become one of the main reasons for a child's smoking - this is how he tries to relax, relieve emotional stress and forget. The situation will improve, the child can and will quit his addiction.

If your child smokes to hang out with cool kids, teach them other ways to communicate. It may be worth enrolling your child in communication training if you do not have enough personal experience. Help your child discover the talents, personality traits and virtues that will help them gain authority from their peers..

Give your child more freedom of choice in terms of clothing, hair, music, hobbies, friends, books, then he will not have to defend his freedom in this way. Permanent bans do not lead to anything good.

Teenager is lying. What to do? First of all, pull yourself together and do not smack the fever. Understand the reasons. Find out what was the reason.

But going ahead is a failure. For a conversation, you need to choose the time, environment and mood. If all conditions match, mutual understanding is guaranteed.

Adults nearby, wise and understanding, are the dream of every child. Kid or teenager, it doesn't matter.

That frightening moment of the first lie in a big way

There comes a time when parents catch a teenager in a lie. If the habit of lying did not manifest itself at an earlier age, then this becomes a shock for loved ones. It seems that you can no longer trust a person who deceives at the everyday level, it seems that you can no longer believe a single word.

It is especially scary if this person is your flesh and blood. Here was a small, obedient or not very, so close and understandable. And suddenly a stranger - frightening.

Teenager lying - what to do?

We will not now consider pathological lies with or without it. If you respond correctly to the first manifestations of deceit, then lies will not become global and permanent.

Parents wish the teenager only the best, they want to keep his life under control for as long as possible. Alas. A young person has his own affairs related to relationships with peers or those that it is better not to know about adults. But lies have short legs. The secret has become clear.

And here punishment or an explosion of anger can seriously harm mutual understanding between the closest people. We will have to accept that the child has risen to a new stage of his growing up and try to find out the reasons for the lies.

FEATURES OF PERCEPTION OF THE WORLD BY A TEENAGER

It is worth knowing something about the periods of adolescence.

Adolescence starts from 13 years old to 15 years old. At least, this is the generally accepted scale. This period is characterized by harsh judgments. Criticality to others rolls over. To himself is perceived almost tragically. Everything in this world is complicated. So much so that a lot of conflicts with peers, teachers and parents overcome the critical point and turn into a war. Not all warriors are by nature. For many, it is easier and easier to lie than to prove their case to their parents or someone else.

Teenagers 13-14 years old

The most difficult period of human development. Everything is perceived very sharply, without halftones. The critical evaluation is over the top. Each act of adults, as if under a magnifying glass, increases many times over. Each step or requirement is evaluated on the maximum scale. But he is also highly critical of himself. Some withdraw into themselves and become isolated, others enter into confrontation with all those around them.

Teen 14 year old

Assessing the behavior and beliefs of friends, adults, and one's own take meaningful forms. It begins to be based on the foundation of the formation of the character of a maturing personality. The teenager becomes more sociable, but at the same time he is inclined to join some groups that seem close to him in terms of beliefs and inclinations.

Teen 15 year old

Almost an adult. He considers himself completely free and independent. Zealously defends his own right to actions, opinions and behavior. In clothes, manners and behavior expresses itself. Very susceptible to influence from those whom he considers worthy of respect. This applies to outsiders - peers or the established collective community. Alas, this does not apply to parents. Most often, parents are perceived as an annoying hindrance to complete freedom.

TEENAGE REPAIRS AND LIES

Imagine a situation where a conflict between teenage boys must be resolved by an “arrow” (a term from the lexicon of adolescents), that is, a meeting, in a predetermined place and at a certain time.

As a rule, such disassemblies are collective and not always peaceful. Arguments and fights are possible. How can you tell your parents that you are going to such a showdown? Most parents will try to intervene, not let them in.

A teenager cannot fail to appear at such a meeting - the shame and condemnation of friends and enemies is much worse than parental anger. The code of honor, sometimes very peculiar, has not been canceled.

Then an urgent matter is devised for a classmate Petya (Vanya, Misha), usually related to studies (take an essay, take a textbook, prepare lessons together).

By hook or by crook, a teenager breaks out of the house and returns dirty, overexcited or beaten.

It turns out that the parents were deceived, there was no talk of any lessons, but there was an event that threatened the health of the precious offspring. If they knew, they wouldn't let go for anything! At the threshold, they would lay down with bones.

After all, this is a suitable occasion to call for frankness. It's time to have a heart to heart talk. Find out whether the reason for the “shooter” was worthy, who managed to prove what and to whom.

Has the enmity been exhausted or will it continue. Depending on the seriousness of the cause and consequences, take action. But those that can in no way damage the reputation of a teenager.

Let emotions spill out, but not parental, but your grown child. Wait until the wave of excitement subsides, let them speak. Chaotic, hot. Only then, you can say your opinion, if it is at all appropriate and necessary.

Talk, carefully find out the composition of the warring parties and whose side your offspring was holding. Understand the cause of the conflict. And, even if she seems unfair to you, stupid to keep her assessment to herself. But the debriefing will not hurt.

Ask him not to hide where he is going and why. In response, promise not to put obstacles. To understand and feel the laws of the world in which a teenager lives. Even if you don't like a lot, put up with it.

This is a social environment in which the ability to adapt in society is formed, this is a world that is not chosen, but that exists around different age groups. We all have to defend our interests, protect our values all our lives. By the way, in different ways.

A reasonable parental response to a teenager's lies will prevent that snowball of alienation from building up or widening the crack between you for the rest of your life. Nothing can replace parental love and wisdom, even if during this period of adolescence, your fucker sees in a lie the only way to get out of custody and gain freedom. How does he understand it.

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The problem of smoking is increasingly affecting the youngest. Disappointing statistics show that the age at which teenagers start smoking is getting smaller and smaller. So, girls are increasingly trying their first cigarette by the age of 13. And boys even earlier - by the age of 10. But what about the parents of children who have started smoking?

The first cigarette will not give pleasant sensations. Its taste is unpleasant, but the child's unwillingness to be a black sheep among his peers makes him smoke again and again. Psychologists and narcologists have proven that addiction, in other words, nicotine addiction, occurs already from the fifth cigarette. Needless to say, children can become addicted to cigarettes incredibly quickly. Initially, the child will smoke exclusively "for the company", without experiencing the pleasure of a smoked cigarette. But the more often he does this, the faster he will develop the need for the psychostimulant effects of nicotine.

Only medical facts!

Before proceeding to the study of the question of how to be parents if a child suddenly starts smoking, it is worth considering in more detail the data on the dangers of nicotine for a young body. Only parents should take into account that it makes no sense to tell him stories about the dangers and dangers of smoking. This will in no way help him quit smoking. Accurate medical statistics and your own example will have a much greater effect.

If we talk about the dangers of smoking from a medical point of view, then nicotine has a negative effect on the nervous system. It literally exhausts the nerve cells, which leads to a constant feeling of fatigue. Irritability and nervous excitability soon come to replace the endurance and activity habitual for a healthy organism. Constant nervousness is a faithful companion of a smoker;
Smoking sharply worsens the work of the organs of perception. Smell, hearing and vision begin to function with failures. The enamel of the teeth of smokers is destroyed much faster. This is due to the fact that when smoking a person inhales air, the temperature of which is much lower than that of cigarette smoke, and this difference provokes the destruction of tooth enamel;
Memory due to smoking gradually deteriorates, and the development of basic thought processes also deteriorates. At the same time, the more a child starts smoking, the more likely it is that his analytical thinking will gradually begin to falter;
Another body system that suffers more from nicotine addiction is the respiratory system. Due to the fact that the body is still growing, the respiratory system is not able to process tobacco smoke entering the lungs. Because of this, part of it literally settles on young lungs. This always complicates the course of colds. Over time, even with a slight load, the timbre of the voice will begin to change in a young smoker, shortness of breath will appear, a constant hysterical cough;
The appearance will also begin to suffer from regular smoking: acne and pimples, shiny skin. Often it is these signs that can give out a young cigarette lover. Despite all the harm that smoking has on the body, children in this matter are not very literate. Usually they do not even suspect and do not think that smoking is not just entertainment, fashionable among peers, but a real addiction that eventually destroys the young body.

Why do children start smoking?

You should not rush from extremes, being nervous and punishing the child for starting to smoke. In this case, it is best to calm down, not be nervous, and after thinking carefully about why he is still addicted to this habit, start acting. The best option would be to talk in a friendly tone, without yelling and swearing. At the same time, parents can find out why their child still started smoking. It is much more likely that he will tell you about the reason for smoking if you talk to him kindly, without punishing.

So, why does a teenager take up a cigarette for the first time? As it turned out, there can be many reasons for this:

The child simply wanted to try what cigarettes are;
Parents themselves have become an example in order to start smoking;
Friends offered to smoke, because it is fashionable;
A cigarette was offered by peers, taking it to “weak”, they say, everyone smokes, and what are you, a weakling?
He began to smoke in order to look older and more authoritative in the eyes of his own friends;
Sometimes kids see their favorite movie characters smoking, so they start doing the same;
Favorite show business stars also smoke;
Bright advertising, prize draws often encourage teenagers to smoke;
Children are often drawn to everything harmful and forbidden;
Excessive parental control, diktat forced to take a cigarette in spite of parents;
Excess free time, boredom and monotony - all this can also push a child to smoke;
Craving for dangerous and forbidden...

Despite the reasons described, the personal example of the parents will always be one of the primary reasons pushing the child to smoke. It makes no sense to tell him about how harmful smoking is if you yourself smoke in front of him. Therefore, it is a personal example that can influence the refusal of a cigarette.

Separately, it is worth mentioning such a problem as the inability of a teenager to realize himself in society. If he does not go to any sections and circles, does not do what he is really interested in, then he is left to himself - this is very likely to push him to a cigarette.

How can you tell if a teenager smokes?

If parents are attentive to their child, they will easily notice some of the characteristic signs of a smoking child. The smell of cigarette smoke lingers on clothes and hair for a very long time. If a person has recently started smoking, then a dry cough will give him away. Over time, the smoker begins to change (turn yellow) the color of the skin of the face and hands, the color of the nails. Similarly, the teeth turn yellow. This is especially true for those who smoke cheap cigarettes.

The psycho-emotional state can also give out a smoker. If he cannot get away from your supervision (to smoke) for a long time, he starts to get nervous. More serious smokers (spice or weed) betray the instability of emotional behavior. Such a teenager often rushes from one extreme to another.

At the bottom of the pockets and in the bag of a smoker, particles of tobacco may appear. If he constantly chews gum, then it is likely that he "chews" the unpleasant smell of cigarettes.

What do parents usually do if they find out that their child smokes?

Some parents, having learned that their beloved child smokes, allow him to do it at home. Sometimes it works and the teenager kicks the addiction. But it may turn out that he, knowing permissiveness, will go even further in his actions.
Some moms and dads force their child to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes. So that he experienced an aversion to nicotine on a physiological level. This is not only harmful, but also useless from an educational point of view. It is highly likely that he will continue to smoke "out of spite."
Swearing, threats of punishment, demands to quit a bad habit, prohibitions to communicate with "bad" guys. Unfortunately, such measures are rarely effective.

Help resist temptation

One of the most effective ways to help your child resist the temptation to start smoking is by example. If you do not smoke, then you can easily set yourself as an example to a teenager.

If you still begin to suspect that your child has started smoking, then try to have a friendly talk with him about it. Remember that at the initial stage it will be much easier for a teenager to give up addiction. Do not hide your emotions and feelings from him. Let the child know that you are not going to scold him during the conversation, that you are really worried about this news and upset. Explain to him that you cannot remain indifferent to the fact that he is poisoning himself with nicotine, but you will not put pressure on him with your authority.

To help your son or daughter resist the temptation to start smoking, try to spend more time with him, be interested in his hobbies and desires. If your child likes to ride a bike or play football, then do it with him.

Give your child more freedom in terms of choosing interests, clothing style, books and music - then he will not have to defend his freedom and protest against the parent's "no" with cigarettes. If something is regularly forbidden to him, then there is a great chance that he will start smoking to spite you, demonstrating his independence.

Unsure of himself, not wanting to lose credibility in his company, a teenager is unlikely to give up cigarettes so easily. And, nevertheless, try to convey to him that the ability to defend your opinion and your position is an important quality, that this is a sign of a well-formed personality, you don’t need to “be like everyone else” and poison your body for the sake of friends.

In order not to be late, start talking about the dangers of smoking when your children are small and for the first time wonder what kind of sticks they are in their mouths and why they are. You don’t need to dismiss the child with a simple “this is kaka” and “fu”, it’s worth explaining to your kids what it is and how harmful it is. Of course, information must be presented, given the age of the crumbs.

What if the child started smoking? How to help a child quit smoking?

Of course, this news will upset you. Moreover, as experience shows, few people in such a situation are able to calmly talk with a child on this topic. More often it is a domestic scandal with tantrums, threats, slamming doors and giving slaps in the face. Stop: shouting will not help the cause. And it is certain that your threats in the style of “once again and I to you” will not solve the problem. First of all, you need to choose the most appropriate moment for the conversation: when you have already “digested” this news, calm your nerves and be ready to calmly talk with your child about his smoking, and the child, accordingly, will be ready for a conversation.

Sometimes teenagers don't realize that indulging in cigarettes can lead to serious addiction. To make your child understand that this is not a joke - ask him not to smoke for at least a week, and then discuss it together. Let him understand that in reality everything is not so rosy and fun.

Do not think that the way out of this situation is a harsh punishment. Many parents do exactly this when they find out that their beloved child has started smoking. However, this can provoke a protest in the child, which will lead to the fact that the child will begin to do everything to spite the parents. But what about parents who have just found out that a teenager is addicted to cigarettes?

To help your child, make a plan together to get rid of the habit. Your help and support will be needed more than ever. Read all kinds of literature on the topic "How to quit smoking", look for it together. Let the child feel your concern for him - this will give him another additional incentive to fight.

Ardi Rizal is only two years old, but already now he cannot live a day without smoking 40 cigarettes. The father taught the boy to a bad habit:

Try to find out why he smokes, what is the reason that prompted him to try? Do not just get an answer, but invite the child to explain to you why he smokes and whether he really understands how harmful it is for his growing body.
Do not start serious conversations with the words “smoking is harmful to health”, “you are not mature enough yet”, etc. By doing this, you will ensure yourself a failure in achieving the result in advance. Build the phrase so that the child understands that he is put on the same level as an adult.
If you forbid a teenager to smoke, but continue to do it yourself, then it will be difficult for him to understand the logic of your behavior. In this case, actively discuss your smoking experience with your child. Tell him about how you or your friends quit smoking, how you did not like the first taste of cigarettes. Focus on the fact that it is quite easy to quit smoking at first, and it is better for the child to do it right now, without postponing "for later", getting used to smoking even more. The whole conversation should boil down to the fact that adult smokers are still harming their health, because they could not or did not want to do it when it was still easy.
Follow the child when he returns home. How does he behave? Does he smell like cigarettes? If you notice an unpleasant smell from clothes, then you can be sure that his entourage is smoking. If he smells from his mouth or from his hands, then we can say for sure that the teenager himself smokes. If a child is afraid to be a “black sheep” in a company where they smoke, then try to convince him that this is a delusion. Suggest that he can resist temptations and not take up cigarettes in a smoking company.
Try watching documentaries with your child that prove the enormous harm of smoking. The scarier these films are, the better. After watching, be sure to discuss the film, allowing the teenager to speak.
Teach your child to rest and relax without using cigarettes. Tell him about harmless ways to have fun and relax. Try to accustom him not only to a healthy lifestyle, but also to any kind of sport. Athletes don't smoke. At the same time, load your child with activities to the maximum so that he has a minimum of time to engage in addictions.
Never use a child's age as an argument in a conversation about smoking bans. If you tell him that he is too small for smoking, then he will do everything to spite you. This is one of the most common parenting mistakes among parents.
If, after the conversation, the child made a promise to quit smoking on the same day, support him in this endeavor. Check in regularly to see how he is doing.
If a child has quit smoking, you should regularly ask if he has returned to this habit again. After all, any experienced smoker will tell you that it is hard not to quit smoking, but to restrain yourself and not return to this habit.
If you are unable to influence the child in such a way that he would give up smoking, then do not hesitate to contact a psychologist for help. He will help you by giving advice on how to communicate specifically with your teenager.

Kindness and patience will help you find the right approach to a child who has started smoking. Look for the cause, and only then eliminate the effect. In no case do not hysteria, do not scandal and do not punish a teenager. Only in this case you will be able to succeed in weaning your child from addiction.

Video: what to do if a child starts smoking

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Irina, 45 years old

I recently found out that my son started smoking. She was very upset, punished: she deprived him of pocket money and put him under house arrest. A month passed, everything somehow smoothed out, I already thought that from now on he does not smoke. But yesterday I caught him doing it again. Again I had to be punished. Now he doesn't talk to me at all. I understand that this is not for long, but I am sure that he will again take up a cigarette. What do i do?

Psychologist's answer: You initially built the wrong line of behavior with your child. Punishment will not give the desired result, after it he will do everything to spite you. You need to talk heart to heart with the child, in a friendly tone without threats of punishment. In such a conversation, he will tell you why he picked up a cigarette. Together you can also come up with ways to get rid of this addiction.

Elena, 38 years old

My daughter smokes. Why she decided to do this, I don't know. I haven’t talked to her about this topic yet, as I found out recently. I'm afraid that I myself could become an example for her, since I myself smoke. How should I behave in further conversation with her?

Psychologist's answer: Of course, you yourself set a bad example for your daughter. It makes no sense to tell her about the dangers of smoking if you yourself smoke like a steam locomotive. After all, you are the main example for her. Therefore, stop smoking yourself, show her that it is not so difficult. You can start living a healthy lifestyle together.

Vika:

I started smoking at the age of 14-15. For the sake of interest. Moms of smoking girlfriends caught, frightened, scolded, they did not give money. Of course, the guys could always shoot. They chewed, ventilated, so as not to stink, poked around as best they could, but smoked! Surprisingly, my mother calmly somehow reacted, didn’t scold, didn’t scare, she just said, if you want to smoke, smoke, don’t poke around. I lost interest. And the girlfriends, whom their mothers chased for cigarettes, have not stopped smoking and are still hiding from their mothers, although they are already over 30.

Elena:

We have living examples of the dangers of smoking. Grandfathers on both sides smoked and died of lung cancer. Doctors openly told them so - because of cigarettes. There is nothing to invent here. Now my grandfather's brother, also a smoker, is coughing so hard that it looks like his lungs are about to burst out. I told my son that if I find out that he smokes, I will stop investing in him moral, physical and material costs. Because smoking is the road to self-destruction. And I'm not going to develop a personality that "scored" on itself.

Svetlana:

We don't smoke ourselves. Friends, our guests, in the majority - too. We will unobtrusively try to instill the opinion that smoking is a bad taste. We will give it to sports, if there is a desire. This is how other values are also inculcated. We will definitely not threaten, shout, check our pockets, etc. Smoke, then - such a choice. I would not like to introduce elaborations and prohibitions, and it is useless. I will try not to pay attention to this habit.

Zhenya:

A personal example, too, alas, does not always work. Non-smoking parents are good, but there are a lot of other people around who smoke and it’s also impossible to say that smokers are bad. Indeed, among your acquaintances there are good people, but smokers ... Plus, peers can smoke and, as they say, he can also start for the company, but does a child admit that his friends are bad ....

Marina:

I remember when my mother caught me, she calmly lit a cigarette, gave it to me and said: “Well, since you are such an adult, let's sit, smoke, talk” .... I don’t know why, but then I was sooooo ashamed and I cried and said that I wouldn’t do it anymore ... Perhaps because I’m a girl, if boys smoke, they are more restrained, it seems to me.

Shahinya:

Of course, you can even beat a child, show a movie, go to the story museum, but there is one rule - if you want a result, find out the reason. If you have a close relationship with a child - on occasion, not on purpose, talk to him about his friends, about girls, what they do, how they spend time. Does he enjoy authority in his environment. Pull him out of the shell with stories about yourself, about your growing up. If the child "opens up" - open up and you. Tell us about how you felt at his age, as well as how you experienced when you realized that he smokes.

Verbena:

I have been smoking since I was 12 years old. Mom tried to talk - it didn’t help, but if she began to forbid, yell, close houses - it would be worse, she would smoke anyway. From the age of 14, she has already openly smoked at home, and this is better than poking around in the hallways and eating toothpaste. Of course, smoking is bad, but if in 9-10 years I find out that my daughter smokes, I will try to intimidate with words, films, pictures. Do not be afraid - let him smoke normal cigarettes and not in the alley.

Shell-well:

I could not influence my son in any way. Scold - did not scold. But she kept talking. Reactions are nil. Saved by the fact that he met a girl, and she is categorically against smoking. Thank her very much. He no longer smokes, but only thanks to the influence of his girlfriend. Unfortunately, I was powerless.