Respectful treatment of people. Address and greeting

22.06.2019

A polite person combines knowledge of etiquette with internal culture and spiritual subtlety. Communication between polite people is filled with mutual respect, courtesy, goodwill. Politeness helps people feel comfortable in each other's company and avoid tension in relationships.

Problems in modern Russian related to address

Starting a conversation with a person, we turn to him, calling him in a certain way, and thereby set the tone for all further communication. With the help of the appeal, you can emphasize the peculiarity of the relationship (“ladies and gentlemen”, “friends”, “darling”, “citizen Ivanov” and others).

When addressing, we, first of all, want to attract the attention of the interlocutor, and here our own names come to the rescue, the names of people by degree of kinship, by position in society, by profession, position, by age and gender, which will act as appeals.

In informal communication with relatives, friends and loved ones, everything is quite simple. Appeals in this case not only attract the attention of a person, but also express their attitude towards the addressee (Elena, Lena, Lenochka, Lenka). Diminutive suffixes (mommy, daughter, son) are numerous in addresses, giving the word most often a positive emotionally expressive coloring.

Difficulties arise if it is necessary to turn to a stranger whose name is unknown, and even more difficult if the occupation, profession, position is also not easy to determine. Most often, in modern communication, one has to resort to methods of attracting attention without naming the addressee (sorry, sorry, tell me). A way to express respect for the interlocutor is a polite “please”.

Many linguists speak about the problem of the lack of a commonly used address in modern Russian that could be used in an informal setting. Thus, the candidate of philological sciences A. V. Zelenin writes that in our time "the old system of addresses is largely destroyed, discredited, and the new one has not yet been created." Attempts to revive the treatment for general use "sir", "madame" were unsuccessful. Doctor of Philology N. I. Formanovskaya believes that the reason for this is “that the image of not every contemporary of ours is easily combined with the image of the madam.”

The address "Mr", "Madam" has become commonplace at Duma meetings, in television programs, at symposiums and conferences, but not in everyday communication between people. At the rallies, you can hear "Russians", "compatriots", "compatriots". Scientists, teachers, doctors prefer to use the words "colleagues", "friends" when addressing. Appeals denoting a gender (woman, man) cannot comply with the norms of speech etiquette. “It is preferable to start a conversation without appeals, using etiquette formulas: be so kind ... be so kind ... sorry ... sorry ...,” writes L. A. Vvedenskaya, Doctor of Philology.

From the call history

In the Old Russian language, there was a special form of the vocative case for expressing appeals. It is preserved in the Lord's Prayer, which begins with the invocation "Our Father". The vocative case can be found even in the literature of the 19th century, for example, in A.S. Pushkin: “What do you need, old man?”.

Interestingly, until the 18th century, it was traditional in Russia to turn to “you”. Peter I introduced the European style of behavior, and an appeal to "you" appeared. “You” meant that “you alone are worth many” and emphasized special courtesy towards each other. Active opponents of borrowings, including V. I. Dal, opposed the polite European “you”. In modern Russian, an unreasonable appeal to "you" is considered false friendliness, unacceptable familiarity.

In pre-revolutionary Russia, naming when addressing was very diverse. The social stratification of society, which existed in our country for several centuries, influenced the formation of official appeals. The "Table of Ranks", first published in 1717-1721, contained a list of military, civil and court ranks. They also determined the system of appeals. There were such appeals as “your excellency”, “your excellency”, “your excellency”, “your highness”, “your majesty”, “the most gracious (gracious) sovereign”, “sovereign” and others. Appeals "master", "lady" were used in relation to privileged persons or lower in position to the highest. Between unfamiliar and unfamiliar people, the most respectful and official was the somewhat strict formula "gracious sovereign" and "gracious empress." In the dictionary of V. I. Dahl, the variants of appeals are indicated: “Our fathers wrote to the highest, gracious sovereign, to an equal, my gracious sovereign, to the lower, my sovereign.” In common speech, the form of address was simplified into "sovereign", and then the first syllable was discarded. Thus, "sir" and "madame" became the usual form of addressing middle-class people, wealthy and educated, and was used along with the form "master", "lady".

Among the people of the lower class, the appeals "dear man", "dear", "aunt", "father" were adopted, emphasizing a respectful attitude towards an unfamiliar interlocutor. The landowner also often addressed people of the lower class as “dear” or “my dear”. The most common appeal to ordinary people in the 19th century was the form "dear person."

In the languages of other countries, unlike Russian, there were appeals that were used both in relation to a person occupying a high position in society and to an ordinary citizen: Mr., Mrs., Miss (England, USA); senor, senora, senorita (Spain); signor, signora, signorina (Italy); pan, pani (Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia).

After the revolution in our country, all the old ranks and titles were abolished. The habitual appeals gradually disappeared. But the diplomatic language has retained the formulas of international courtesy: to the heads of monarchical states - "your majesty", "your excellency", to foreign diplomats - "mister", "madam".

Starting from 1917-1918, the appeals "citizen" and "comrade" became widespread. The word "citizen" in the language is not new: it is recorded in the monuments of the XI century. In the Old Russian language, the word came from Old Slavonic and meant "resident of the city (city)". In this sense, "citizen" is also found in texts dating back to the 19th century. So, A. S. Pushkin has the lines: "Not a demon - not even a gypsy, But just a citizen of the capital." In the XVIII century, this word acquires the meaning of "a full member of society, the state." In the 20-30s of the 20th century, “citizen under investigation”, “citizen judge”, “citizen prosecutor” became the norm. The negative association has taken root in people's minds and made it impossible to use the word "citizen" as a common address.

The word "comrade" is recorded in the monuments of the XV century. It originally meant "companion in trade". Then the meaning of this word expands (“companion”, “friend”) and is fixed in proverbs (“On the road, a son is a friend to his father”, “A smart comrade is half the road”). With the growth of the revolutionary movement in Russia at the beginning of the 19th century, the word "comrade" acquires a new socio-political meaning: "a like-minded person fighting for the interests of the people." In the first years after the revolution, this word becomes the main address in the new Russia and acquires an ideological meaning, but after the Great Patriotic War, it gradually begins to emerge from the everyday unofficial address of people to each other, remaining in the military environment.

Features of conversion in the Orthodox Church

Status appeals also exist in the Orthodox Church. They are traditional and have undergone only minor changes. The name of the priest in the church environment should be called in the canonical form (Sergius, Alexy) in combination with a noun indicating the dignity.

In an official speech, metropolitans and archbishops should be addressed as “Your Eminence” (to the Metropolitan of Kiev - “Blessed”), to bishops - “Your Grace”. In a solemn or official speech to archpriests and archimandrites, the address “Your Reverence” is considered correct, to priests and monks - “Your Reverend”.

In oral speech, it is permissible to address the bishop as “Vladyka”, to the priest “Father John”, “Father Stachy”. It is not customary to begin an appeal to a priest with the words: "Hello", "Good afternoon." It should say: "Bless." In the period from Easter to the holiday, they turn with the words: “Christ is Risen!”.

In Russia, for a long time, the people affectionately and lovingly call the priest father. This is a common colloquial form of address ("Father, bless"). It should not be used in formal settings. Addressing a priest as "father" without a name is unacceptable, as it sounds familiar. When addressing a deacon, one should say: "Father deacon ..." or, in the same way as to a priest, with the addition of the name: "Father Michael."

Believers in the temple, regardless of age, call each other "brother" or "sister." The address "mother" is possible only to the wife of a priest or to the abbess of the monastery.

Combination of etiquette forms of address and internal culture

When addressing, it is necessary to monitor not only speech, but also gestures, facial expressions, posture, and gaze. The whole appearance should be decent: meek speech without expressive words, a minimum of gestures and facial expressions. The look should not be intent, studying, ironic. Intonation is of great importance when politely addressed. It should not be harsh, and the voice should not be too loud. You should not look ingratiatingly, pick up obsequious intonations, turn the appeal into excessive courtesy.

As Archpriest Alexy Gostev emphasized in one of his conversations: "The ideal is a harmonious combination of spiritual growth, spiritual culture and good treatment among people and with people." It is the internal culture that will determine the politeness of the appeal. But at the same time, trying to be polite, in particular when addressing, we embark on the path of spiritual growth.

Irina Rokitskaya

It has long been a myth that only women love with their ears. Men also love to receive pleasant and gentle words addressed to them..

However, pleasant phrases acquire weight and significance in specific situations. Tender words spoken out of place, at best, will cause bewilderment in a man.

When is it important for men to hear a kind word

Most men are proud and very vulnerable, so it is important for them to hear words of support and praise. They want to be appreciated and proud of their success. Therefore, affectionate and pleasant words are appropriate in any situation in which a man has shown himself.

This includes not only the conquest of Everest and the salvation of mankind from the epidemic. A simple everyday situation is enough to make a man feel loved.

For example, a man organized a romantic dinner, arranged a trip to a concert or a museum, helped with shopping or cleaning. All these household "exploits" deserve an affectionate and kind word. A man will understand that he did not try in vain, and he managed to please his beloved woman.

In no case should you turn affectionate words into a tool of manipulation and speak them at the “right” moment!

If you call a man affectionately only in case of a request, he will no longer perceive pleasant words in their true sense and will associate them only with the next task.

To charge your man with positive thoughts for the whole day, do not be shy to say gentle words to him in the morning before work.

This is especially important if a man is experiencing some professional or life difficulties: tenderness in words will support him, he will know that everything he does has meaning and importance.

Also it is important to speak affectionate words in an intimate and home environment, on vacation and in bed. These are the most convenient places for verbal expression of your feelings: you can feel free to say the most sincere and tender words and be sure that a man will hear and appreciate what was said.

Pleasant words are always appropriate, in any situation when you want to express your true feelings and tell your partner about them. Words of love and tenderness do not need special dates. and "opportune" moments. The important thing is to remember to talk about your feelings out loud.

What affectionate words do men love

Men, just like women, want respect and understanding.. Therefore, a rare man will refuse a compliment addressed to him or become irritated by words of support.

Men want to hear how wonderful and beautiful they are for their woman, how smart and elegant they are. A man needs confidence that a woman appreciates him and will not leave him. preferring an opponent.

What do men want to hear from a woman?

Words of support

Not everyone goes smoothly in life. Workload, quarrels with friends and colleagues, problems with parents, finances or housing. Stress, irritability, overwork - all this greatly affects physical and mental health.

That is why, no matter how hard it is for a man at the moment, so that he is not disturbed and interested, he wants to know that his wife or girlfriend will always be there and always support not to happen. Don't forget about it.

Words of gratitude

Sincere gratitude, at times, affects more than words of love. You can be grateful not only for the performance of a particular deed or for a perfect act.

Gratitude can be expressed to your man in general: because he is there, because he is reliable and caring, because he carefully listens and supports.

words of praise

A man is waiting for praise for his actions, it is important for him to know that he was ultimately right and did everything right. Do not praise a man for every minor action with an ironic overtone(“Well done, honey, you took out the trash!”).

Most of the time it's inappropriate and sounds derisive. Oh, what can offend a partner.

However, if a man showed his abilities, quickly navigated the situation or achieved some success (finished the project ahead of schedule, received a promotion, got the last tickets to the theater for the premiere), then it is necessary to praise him. Let him know that he is appreciated.

Words of love

Of course, everyone wants to know for sure that they are loved. It is enough to tell a person about it or remind him that he is loved just like that, and not for some feats and abilities. It is worth reminding a man more often that he is loved and significant.

Choose carefully lacquer words for men. You can make your own list, or you can learn something for yourself from the article. All your will and imagination.

compliments

Oddly enough, but Men love compliments just like women do. A man likes compliments that emphasize not only his mental abilities and successes, but also his appearance.

If a man, going on a date, tried to look “pure”, then you should tell him that he looks beautiful and elegant. Then the man will understand that his efforts were not in vain.

Important to remember! Pleasant and affectionate words, phrases of gratitude and admiration help to improve the mood of the addressee. Gentle words inspire, inspire confidence and give energy.

Do not skimp on pleasant compliments and tenderness towards your partner. Even if a man has already heard many times that he is smart and handsome, it will not be superfluous to remind him of this again.

Affectionate words for a beloved man, boyfriend (list)

What affectionate words can you say to your boyfriend or man:

cute;
favourite;
gentle;
affectionate;
sweet;
the only one;
best;
wonderful;
crazy;
strong;
real;
beautiful;
fairy;
beloved;
unique;
bold;
soft;
shining;
tasty;
fluffy;
hot;
temperamental;
attentive;
unusual;
magic;
clear;
caring;
desired;
sincere;
long-awaited;
unforgettable;
sexual;
talented;
omnipotent;
hot;
erotic.

Finding the right epithet is easy. The main thing is to listen to your loving heart.

list of tender words

Gentle words can brighten up and soften any phrase. If the partners are arguing about something, but at the same time they call each other affectionately and by name, they let each other know that they do not want a scandal and a quarrel, but they just want to clarify the situation and find the truth. This is important to remember when communicating with a partner.

Remember that affectionate words for a man, the list of such is endless. You can always add to the list more and more new words that please your loved one. It is enough just to show imagination, to emphasize the best qualities of your strong half.

How tenderly can you turn to your man:

Affectionate words in your own words (I miss you, I'm waiting)

Don't be afraid to express your feelings in simple terms. It is not necessary to have a gift for poetry or writing in order to beautifully and tenderly express your feelings with the help of words, both verbally and on paper.

Sometimes a simple note with the words “I love you and look forward to going home!” is enough. to express your feelings. The main thing is the presentation and the embedded meaning.

Here are some examples of how you can simply and sincerely show feelings of love and affection for a partner:

Unusual affectionate words for a man

The fantasy of a woman in love can be limitless. It is worth trying it in inventing unusual, original and non-banal words for your beloved man.

The list of affectionate words for men is a personal, individual part of each girl. The choice is hers, depending on her preferences.

Here is an inspiring list of creative endearments:

Funny affectionate nicknames for men

Nicknames usually hint at a closer connection than just acquaintance and friendship., since nicknames can reflect the character traits, habits and views on the world of a partner.

So nicknames should be chosen suitable for a particular man. Only then will he truly appreciate his “second” name, invented by his girlfriend.

It's important to know! Not all men like nicknames. A man can be quite pleased if the woman he loves calls him simply "cute" or "beloved." Therefore, before coming up with a nickname for the chosen one, it is worth discussing with him how he relates to affectionate appeals.

What funny tender names-nicknames to choose for your man:

Fluffy;
Kitten;
Lion cub;
Murzik;
Oduvan;
Bagel;
Squirrel;
Nibbler;
Donut;
Fyr-fyr;
Mouse;
Bald;
Sugar;
Tigrik;
Barsik;
Buska;
There-there;
Zaikin;
Mumrik;
Sweet;
Umka;
Foot;
Wolf;
Eyeball;
Lapkin;
Cupcake;
Somik.

Affectionate words for a loved one (friend)

A male friend can also be treated gently and express your respect and admiration with the help of affectionate words, especially if the relationship promises to develop into something more than just friendship.

However, it should be borne in mind that the personal distance between friends is still much greater than between couples in love and spouses. When choosing an appeal, you should adhere to tact and clearly understand the boundaries of what is permitted. so as not to go to familiarity.

For instance, for a beloved friend, you can use the following neutral appeals:

expensive;
cute;
imposing;
cute;
understanding;
courageous;
required;
native;
unusual;
interesting;
sincere;
extraordinary;
friendly;
musical;
communicative;
attractive;
nice;
mysterious;
fabulous;
smiling;
unexpectedly pleasant;
joy;
Sun;
charm;
bunny;

Affectionate words in English for a man

There are gentle and affectionate words in any language of the world. If a woman speaks a foreign language well, she can express her feelings in a foreign form, even if the partner does not understand.

Tenderness in a foreign language will give a woman more charm and replenish her vocabulary of affectionate words. If a girl does not speak a foreign language, she can still learn a few foreign words and phrases that express feelings.

For example, some affectionate words in English:

Honey - dear, sweet;
Sunshine - the sun;
Pumpkin - pumpkin;
Muffin - cupcake, pie;
Shorty - baby
Wifey - honey;
Babycakes - baby;
Sweetie pie - sweet pie;
Sweetheart - sweet, beloved (literally "sweet heart");
Bubble - a bubble;
My love - my love;
My precious - my charm;
Sugar plum - sugar plum;
Bunny - bunny;
My hero - my hero;
Sugar lips - sugar sponges;
Sweet cheeks - sweet cheeks.

Affectionate words to beloved husband

Certainly, husband is the best man ever otherwise the woman would not have married him. However, it will not be superfluous to remind him of this from time to time. At the same time, you need to understand that the relationship between the spouses is close and trusting.

Most likely, they know very well the worldview, habits, gestures of each other. So the slightest manifestation of falsehood, ridicule or indifference will be immediately noticed.

What kind and tender words can a spouse say to her husband:

Gentle words of gratitude for a man

Gratitude can be expressed in different ways. AND Sometimes, instead of words, a strong hug or kiss is enough so that a person understands the full power of gratitude, and sometimes a simple “thank you”, uttered with feeling and sincerity.

Sincere gratitude, expressed from the bottom of the heart, is much more appreciated than polite words on duty.

A man behind formulaic phrases can hear indifference, which will leave in him a not very pleasant impression of a woman.

How can you tenderly express your gratitude?

Affectionate compliments to a beloved man

Compliments are needed in order to emphasize the dignity of a person. and express their admiration (regardless of gender). That is why "duty" compliments are rarely truly heard.

Do not give compliments inappropriately, simply because the rules of decency require it. For example, a person feels unwell, slept little and does not look very fresh, and the compliment “you look good” or “you are so beautiful today” will sound like a mockery.

It is more appropriate in this example to ask about the state of health rather than highlight what is not there.

What compliments should a man say so that he feels the sincere admiration of a woman and feels confident?

Here are some examples:

Sweet words that rhyme with the name

Not all names rhyme. At the same time, it can be difficult to find an affectionate rhyme even for sonorous names. However, when addressing your partner playfully, you can use suitable rhymes for the name.

Some examples of rhymes for names:

Poems for a beloved man with affectionate words

It will not be difficult for a girl who knows how to write poetry to compose at least a quatrain. For those who are not “you” with poetry, poems by classic poets will help- Tsvetaeva, Akhmatova, Akhmadullina, Bergholz, Gippius. You can also compose simple couplets expressing tender feelings.

Some examples of simple quatrains:

Expressing your feelings is great! It is important for a loved one to hear sincere words of love and devotion every day. You should not be afraid to express your feelings - your loved one will definitely remain grateful.

In this video, you will learn how you can use affectionate words for men. list of these words.

This video will advise you an example of affectionate words for your man.

It is difficult to imagine a person who would not want to be confident, relaxed, free in any society and company. Everyone wants to please, to attract others with manners, appearance, the ability to feel free in the most difficult situation. How to achieve this? It is very simple to master the art of communication etiquette.

How to contact people

There are three types of appeal:

Official (citizen, sir);
Friendly (dear colleague, old man, dear friend);
Familiar, permissible only among the closest friends.

Older people should be addressed with "you".

You also need to address unfamiliar peers with “you”.

Only the closest friends are referred to as "you".

General rules of greeting at a meeting.

The younger ones greet the elders first, men - women, a woman greets a man who is much older than her. Exceptions to this rule: the one who enters the room, be it a man or a woman, is the first to greet those present, the one who leaves is the first to say goodbye to those who remain.

In the case when there are several people in the room, they first greet the mistress of the house, then other women, then the owner of the house and men.

When greeting a man, a woman should be the first to give a hand. If she is limited to a bow, a man should not extend his hand to her. The same is true between older and younger men.

A man always gets up (except for the very old and the sick, who find it difficult to get up), greeting both women and men. A woman, greeting a man, does not get up. A man, greeting a woman, gets up.

Exceptions: the mistress of the house, receiving guests, always gets up to greet them; in a service situation, a man may not get up to greet a woman. Women also stand up to greet very elderly men.

Having greeted his peer, a man can sit down. If he greets an older man or woman, then he can sit down only after they sit down, or with their permission. If the mistress of the house offers to sit down, but she herself continues to stand, you should not sit down.

Greeting a lady, a man can kiss her hand. However, this can only be done indoors!

It is not customary to greet through the threshold, through the table, through any partition.

More difficult situations

If you need to address your relative or close acquaintance, who is the leader, in the presence of outsiders, it is better to call him by his first name and patronymic and “you”. In this case, it is inappropriate to demonstrate family or friendship ties to everyone.
If, for example, in some new team for you, everyone addresses each other as “you”, and you are used to “you”, it’s better to accept the rules of the team than to dictate your own.
If someone calls you impolitely, for example: “Hey, you!”, You should not respond to this call. However, there is no need to lecture, educate others during a short meeting. It is better to teach an etiquette lesson by your own example.
When telling someone about people, it is not customary to talk about them in the third person - "he" or "she". Even about close relatives it is necessary to say: “Tamara Mikhailovna asked me to convey ...”, “Viktor Ilyich will be waiting for you ...”.

Where does communication begin?

More complex etiquette situations

If you notice a friend in the distance (on the other side of the street, on a bus, etc.), and if you also notice you, then you need to greet the acquaintance with a nod of the head, a wave of the hand, a bow, a smile. You don't have to shout at the top of your voice!
If you see a friend approaching you, you do not need to shout "hello!" from afar. Wait until the distance between you is reduced to a few steps.
If you are walking with someone and your companion says hello to a stranger, you should also say hello.
If you meet a friend in the company of a stranger, you need to greet them both. You also need to greet everyone in the group you are approaching.
If you go in a group and meet your friend, it is not necessary to introduce others to him. You can apologize, step aside for a few seconds and talk with a friend.
Be sure to greet those people with whom you often meet, even if you do not know them, for example, with the seller of the nearest store, with the postman, neighbors from the entrance.
If you enter a room where there are a lot of people, you should not greet everyone individually, but say a general “hello!”.

Handshakes

For etiquette:

The elders are the first to give a hand to the younger ones, and not vice versa.
Among peers, women are the first to shake hands with men.
If two married couples meet, then the women first greet each other, then the men greet the women, after that the men greet each other.
Before shaking hands, a man must take off his glove. A woman does not have to do this. However, when greeting older people, everyone should remove the glove.

How to respond to greetings

If you are greeted, you must be sure to respond to this greeting.

If the person accompanying you greets, you need to respond to this greeting even to a stranger.

Probably, there are no such people who would not want to learn how to be relaxed and confident in the company of other people. Everyone wants to please others, admire the ability to stay in public, be attractive in appearance and feel like a fish in water in difficult situations. How can you learn this, you ask? The answer is simple and complex at the same time, you need to know at least the basics of communication etiquette and speech etiquette.

Appeal and greeting.

How to contact people

There are only three types of treatment: 1) Official (citizen, sir, sir); 2) Friendly (old man, friend); 3) Familiar, which is allowed only between the closest people.

“You” should be addressed: to older people and to unfamiliar peers, but to “You” they turn only to close relatives and friends.

General rules of greeting at a meeting.

At a meeting, the younger ones should be the first to greet, men - women, if the man is much older, then the woman greets him first. As with all the rules, there are also exceptions to this: the one who enters the room is the first to greet those present, regardless of age and gender, just like the one who leaves, he is the first to say goodbye.

If you entered a room where there are several people, then you need to greet in the following sequence: with the mistress of the house, with other women, with the owner of the house, with other men.

The woman is the first to offer her hand, greeting the man, but if she only nodded her head, the man should not extend his hand. Similarly, between men of different ages.

A man, greeting, should get up (except for the very elderly and those who find it difficult to get up due to illness). A woman, on the contrary, should not get up (except for those situations when she greets a very elderly man). The exception is the mistress of the house, who, according to etiquette, always gets up when she receives guests and greets them. At work, a man may not get up to greet a woman.

After a man has greeted his peer, he sits down, and if with an older man or woman, he sits down only after them. If the hostess of the house offered to sit down, but she herself continues to stand, then it is not recommended to sit down.

At a meeting, a man can kiss a woman's hand, but in the event that this happens indoors.

You should not greet through an obstacle: threshold, table, partition

If your relative or close acquaintance is the leader, then in the presence of colleagues, it is better to address him with “You” and by his first name and patronymic. It is inappropriate to show close ties.

If you are new to the team, and are accustomed to communicating with “you”, but here it is accepted for “you”, then you should accept the rules of the majority.

If they called you, ignoring politeness, “Hey, you!”, Do not respond, but you don’t need to read notations either, it’s better to teach a lesson by your own example.

If you tell someone about those who are absent, you should not talk about them in the third person, it would be more correct to call them by their first name and patronymic.

Where does communication begin?

Communication usually begins with a greeting. According to etiquette, probably everyone knows this, you should greet a person with the words: “Hello!”, Or wish him a good time of the day.

What is important in greeting

It is very important with what intonation you greet a person. Saying hello to him in a dry tone can offend him. Warmth and affection should be invested in the greeting.

Smile when you greet the person and it will make both of you feel better.

In addition to words, the greeting should be accompanied by a handshake, bow, nod, hugs.

A man is supposed to take off his hat during a greeting, with the exception of a winter hat, cap and beret.

It is not customary, when greeting a person, to lower your eyes, it is advisable to meet his gaze.

When greeting, do not keep your hands in your pockets and a cigarette in your mouth.

If you notice a friend in the distance, you can greet him with a nod, a bow, a smile, or a wave of your hand. But shouting all over the street is not worth it.

If a familiar person comes towards you, you should not greet him from afar, wait until he comes closer. If you are accompanied by someone and your companion greets a stranger, you should also greet him.

If you meet someone you know accompanied by someone you don't know, say hello to both.

If you are walking in a group of people and you meet your friend, apologize and step aside with him, it is not necessary to introduce everyone.

You need to greet strangers if you often meet with them, for example, with sellers, neighbors, a postman.

Entering a room where many people are present, you can say “Hello” to everyone at the same time.

How to respond to greetings

If you are greeted, you must certainly return the greeting. If your companion is greeted, you must also greet even a stranger.

How to start a conversation

There are various options for starting a conversation. It depends on the situation in which you and the interlocutor are.

If you are invited to a party, and there are strangers around, then you can choose from the company the same as you, “alone” and you can start a conversation with the words “Hello! My name is ... ”Then you can continue the conversation, asking for help to figure out who is who here. And then it is likely that you will find common themes.

Asking for help has always been a good conversation starter. In the library - about the book, in the store - about goods, at the opening day - about paintings, on the street you can ask how to get to the place you need.

And you can strike up a conversation with a compliment. For example, to tell a man about his good physical shape, or to praise a woman's excellent taste.

It is quite acceptable to start a conversation with banal complaints about the weather, or the hackneyed question “Where could I (could) see you before?”.

How to continue the conversation

To continue the conversation, you can find a variety of topics and questions. For example, about films, about music, about the political situation. This will make it possible not only to overcome embarrassment, but also to determine what the interlocutor is interested in. You can tell some incident from your life and express your attitude to it.

If you want to be an interesting conversationalist, you should at least have an idea about the news, understand a little about music, keep abreast of new cinema, be aware of the topic of sports. It’s good if you are an interesting storyteller and can tell about something unusual that happened to you. In general, read books, magazines, newspapers, listen to music and watch movies.

It must be remembered that people are always more interesting with those who know how to listen, because everyone is more interested in telling. Therefore, you should learn to listen carefully to the interlocutor, trying to ask questions in the course of his story, and it will be pleasant to communicate with you.

It is unacceptable to suppress a person with your intellect, because no one wants to be more stupid than another. If you begin to interrupt the interlocutor with exclamations that you have known everything for a long time, you should not be surprised that he no longer wants to communicate with you.

Conversely, if you are not good at something, do not be shy to say so. Most often, people are pleased to hear: “Tell me more about this.” By the way, this is a good call to continue the conversation.

How to end a conversation

How the conversation ends depends on whether the acquaintance will continue. Try to do it politely and decisively so as not to accidentally offend the interlocutor. If you see that the conversation has exhausted itself, do not grab onto the search for new topics like a straw, do not hold back the interlocutor, it is better to say goodbye, maintaining dignity. You can say goodbye that you were pleased with this acquaintance, that you hope for its continuation.

If you don’t have time for a conversation, then you need to be able to gently, and at the same time, decisively let your interlocutor understand this. Glancing at the clock, rising from the chair, looks eloquent. So that your departure does not look like an escape from the conversation, you can end it with encouraging phrases like: “It couldn’t be otherwise!” or “I, unfortunately, have to go, but we will continue the conversation next time.”

What to Avoid in a Conversation

You should talk about yourself last, even if you were asked about it, then do not abuse your attention and transfer the conversation to another topic. Do not discuss your problems and hardships, household chores and illnesses, leave them for the family circle. People go out into the community to relax.

It is considered bad manners when meeting a doctor in a company or on the street, asking him about diagnoses and medications. This should be done during office hours.

If you write poetry, then please yourself or the publisher with them, if there is one, but do not demand from the interlocutors that they listen to your torments of creativity, while still praising them, this is tactless.

You should not share sensitive information, as such frankness can pass for talkativeness, and such a person loses confidence.

It is not nice to discuss the weaknesses of others in public. Do not try to rise at the expense of others, it is dishonorable.

The conversation should be exciting. Cooking recipes, or the rules of the game of hockey may be of interest, but not for long and not everyone. If one of those present reads morals all evening or speaks on some narrow topics, then this will tire the rest. Don't engage in empty talk.

If you see that the interlocutors are listening to you without attention, interrupt the conversation without regret, do the same if you doubt that the conversation is interesting to your interlocutors.

Do not leave society with a group of interlocutors, if you want to retire with someone for communication, invite him to your home.

Wait for the most respected guests to turn to you, and do not leave the interlocutor until he has finished talking with you.

In response to the objections of the interlocutor, do not get annoyed and do not get angry, otherwise the sympathies of even those who did not particularly follow the topic will not be on your side, even if you are right.

You shouldn't whisper to someone in front of everyone. If you want to say something to someone in private, it's best to take them aside.

When you are talking, speak clearly and slowly, while trying to look into the eyes of the interlocutor. But to look him in the area of the button on the suit, or, even more so, to turn it in his hands, is extremely indecent.

It is considered the height of indecency to point a finger at someone, or to keep your hands in your pockets during a conversation, or to put them on the interlocutor's shoulders.

Do not hold up a conversation with your friend on the street if he is in a hurry somewhere or waiting for someone. If your acquaintance goes with a woman, then only in case of emergency, you can contact him.

Don't try to judge a person just by talking to them. After all, it is not words that matter, but deeds.

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Instruction

After the greeting, it is worth introducing yourself and explaining the reason why the addressee writes to a stranger - the addressee. Perhaps the main rule is saving someone else's time. Phrases need to be formulated capaciously, clearly, concisely. With punctuation, emoticons and slang, do not overdo it. If literacy is lame, then it is worth writing in simple sentences, without a locomotive of participial turns after the first comma. Greetings are better to choose neutral: "Good afternoon", "Hello".

The next paragraph is the main part of the letter, where the author explains his interest in more detail, asks questions, explains the essence of the problem in detail. If this is a business letter, then it would be appropriate to refer to two or three mutual acquaintances or people who are respected so that the recipient can verify the information presented. If this is a purely personal and delicate letter (for example, the addressee is a potential relative, classmate or person whose help is needed), then it is worth saying the emotions of the interlocutor. For example: "I understand that you may be surprised to receive this letter" or "I hope you are not upset, but the situation..."

The third paragraph is an expression of gratitude and general phrases like: "Thank you for paying attention and reading this letter to the end" and "I look forward to productive cooperation." A polite "tail": "Sincerely" or "All the best" is acceptable, but it would be better if it was a personal signature, and not a template hammered into the mail program. A business person leaves his contacts after his signature: the company's website, reception phone numbers. Private correspondence implies a link to a phone or blog - any personal resource that will help you navigate the subject of the letter.

note

Correspondence with a stranger implies politeness, goodwill and the hope of continuing the dialogue. At the end of the letter, a postscript is possible: "If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them."

Sources:

Letter templates for all occasions.

Relatives, friends, acquaintances are those whose support you can always count on. But what to do if you have to contact a stranger, and besides, not personally, but through a letter? In this case, courtesy and the correct approach to writing a message will help out.

Instruction

Choose a title depending on the age of the person you are writing to. It is customary to address a child under 16 with “you”, when communicating with a stranger older than this age, good manners require the use of the pronoun “you”. At the same time, it is quite acceptable to call the young man or by name without a patronymic, for example, “I know, Alexander, that you ...” or “I decided to write to you, Natasha ...”. A person of middle and older age is addressed by name and patronymic. If it is of character and addressed to an official, regardless of age, call him by his first name and patronymic.

Introduce yourself and give some information about yourself.

Briefly state the essence of your letter. Inform the recipient about whether you want to tell him something, ask for something, or apologize for something. For example, “I think you will be interested that you have relatives in Belarus” or “Circumstances force me to turn to you with a request for help.”

State the information that you want to convey to the addressee. Try to write concisely, avoid ambiguous phrases and expressions: the person is not familiar with you, does not know what to expect from you, so there is a possibility of being misunderstood.

At the end of the letter, specifically formulate your request or wish so that the addressee has no doubts about what you still want from him. If you make a request, accompany it with an apology for the inconvenience.

Say goodbye politely. Thank you for your attention to your message.

Re-read the written letter, make the necessary adjustments to it.

Useful advice

Especially delicately and thoughtfully should be treated to writing a letter of request. If the fulfillment of what you ask requires significant effort, the natural reaction of the addressee will be to refuse you. In such cases, you need to think about what can serve as a motive for a stranger who does not owe you anything to take actions in your interest. Unobtrusively appeal to high feelings: responsibility, compassion, etc. Sometimes, on the contrary, such incentive motives as the desire to obtain material benefits, to become famous, turn out to be more effective. Support the request set out in the official letter with justification for its legitimacy and references to the law.

A business proposal, regardless of whether it concerns partnerships, the sale of goods or services, cooperation in specific projects or an invitation to a key employee, must be clearly structured and contain maximum information with a minimum of text.