Give me time to think. How to put up if the husband does not want to talk

02.07.2019

by Notes of the Wild Mistress

"Lovely scold - only amuse" - is it so?

There are quarrels between lovers - this must be taken for granted. Quarrels are different, but they have the same result - to be able to make peace and forget all the negative things that happened during it. Women's psychology is such that it is often more convenient for her to blame a man for a conflict than to admit her own wrong.

Today there is a phrase that is gaining more and more momentum: "If a woman is not right, a man needs to come up and apologize." This phrase was coined by an unreasonable woman who thinks only of herself. It should not be forgotten that a man is also a person, and he is no less capable of experiencing torment from experiences and quarrels than a woman.

By the way, men endure quarrels harder than women. A woman can throw out her pain in the form of tears and tantrums. A man carries all this in himself, which means that it is much harder for him.

Why do quarrels happen?

All fights are completely different. There are domestic quarrels: you left your socks in the wrong place, you folded your clothes in the wrong way. There are fights because of stress. We live in a very fussy world where we experience discomfort every day, and if we restrain ourselves at work and in transport, then we can vent all the evil at home.

There are personal disputes. Time passes, and remorse begins to torment us, but it is not so easy to make peace with your husband. After all, the most important thing to do is to step over your huge and arrogant "I".

How to reconcile with your husband if you yourself are to blame?

This question is asked by many women. Reconciliation with a man can occur in different ways. Here, another important fact is played by the temperament of a man. There are those who need to be given time to "cool down", to analyze the problem, to evaluate it.

The main thing is not to delay reconciliation, a maximum of two days of quarreling, and then you just urgently need to look for ways to each other.

So how to make peace with your husband, if you yourself are to blame? There are several banal, but effective ways to make peace with your husband if the fault lies with you, and the first of them is to admit your guilt.

Learn to apologize for your mistakes

Moreover, to obey is half the success. A simple apology works much more effectively than other methods. It is clear that it is not so easy to say to a person in the eye: “I'm sorry, I was wrong,” but without this, nowhere!

You should not apologize by phone, in the form of SMS, or send banal apologetic cards to the post office or social networks. This is what small children do, and adults should be able not only to admit their mistakes, but also to be able to apologize for them. The reaction will be immediate - most men will melt and forgive their beloved. Of course, if the reason is not so global and fundamental.

A romantic dinner will pay off a quarrel

Psychologists generally recommend having romantic dinners at least once a month. But, even if you and your spouse do not have such a tradition, then making a romantic dinner as a sign of reconciliation is the very thing! Prepare his favorite dishes, meet your loved one with a smile right at the door.

Of course, such dinners should have their logical conclusion in the bedroom. Men love with their eyes, so please him with beautiful underwear. By the way, in general, teach yourself to wear exceptionally beautiful underwear, this will allow you to feel more confident yourself, and your man will be pleased to look at you.

Honest conversation is so important!

Frank talk during a quarrel is a dangerous option, but you still need to talk with a man. If you are guilty, explain to him the reason for your action and what you now think about it. True, here the line between just a conversation and a new wave of quarrels is very thin. Be careful. If you see that your husband only breaks out from such a conversation - stop. Explosive emotions do not lead to anything good.

If you intend to end the conflict in this way, then you need to constantly keep yourself within the framework.

The easiest way to make peace with a man if you yourself are wrong is a romantic dinner and an apology. This gives an almost one hundred percent guarantee that he will forgive you!

From life experience...

Finally, I will tell you one story. I have one friend - a quick-tempered and very emotional person. She quarreled with her husband. The quarrel was domestic, something she did not like in his behavior. Word for word, they raised their voices at each other, expressed to each other something that had absolutely nothing to do with the cause of the quarrel.

Particularly striking were the claims to her husband on her part, as they say, she said too much. You know how it happens - you start with one thing and end with another. Staying in the house became unpleasant for her, she took it and went to her friend for the weekend. There she had time to think and analyze the situation. And it became embarrassing. And for the words, and for the departure. Pride does not allow to reconcile, but also a keen understanding that it was she who was not right did not allow her to sleep peacefully.

Returning home, she bought all sorts of goodies and wine, and while her husband was at work, she cooked dinner. The husband came home from work, and the first thing she did was just ask how his day went. A person melts as soon as he sees that someone is interested in him, that he is not indifferent. After such questions, a man, if he does not become talkative, then at least will answer briefly how the day went.

Seeing dinner on the table, the man begins to think: “I took care of it, cooked it, so I was waiting.” The most important thing is not to waste a minute at this moment. And my friend did not lose. Touching his hand lightly, she said, “I'm sorry, I was wrong. Something happened to my nerves, but I didn't mean to offend you."

The most important thing is to fully admit your guilt, without any reservations there, such as: “But you are good too.” When reconciling with your husband, you need to think about your mistakes, and not about his. After such an attack of apologies, the man himself admits his mistakes.

Then my friend bombarded her husband with questions: how was he without her these days, while simultaneously recognizing what a stupid thing she had done, that she had gone to her friend. Everything ended well. Passionate sex after a delicious dinner and verbal apology erased the last remnants of the conflict.

In general, when a woman apologizes, she should know that the crown will not fall from her head. Men are mere children, who also perceive everything through the prism of emotions, they just have such a role - to keep impregnable. In fact, melting his touchy heart is easy.

Therefore, to make peace with your husband, even if you are to blame, is not so difficult. Three rules - verbal apologies, intimate dinner, passionate sex - after this, the man himself will feel guilty (for what?!) and will please you in every possible way.

Quarrels and skirmishes between husband and wife are common and natural. Professionals in the field of psychology say that it is quarrels that take relationships to a new level. After all, if the spouses stop arguing and swearing with each other, this indicates only one thing - their feelings have cooled. But if marital quarrels occur too often, there is nothing good in it. This means that relations have reached a dead end and you need to look for a way to reconciliation and understanding.

How to reconcile with a spouse if she is to blame?

A woman is more emotional than a man, so she often becomes the culprit of a quarrel. The reasons can be very diverse: lack of money, her husband's refusal to buy anything for her, jealousy. However, the fair sex cools down as quickly as they flare up. Then the woman begins to feel guilty, but she does not know how to make peace after a quarrel. For such ladies, psychologists have developed several effective recommendations:

1. Find a reason for communication in which he cannot refuse to talk: a trip to his mother, children's problems, household issues. After starting the conversation, it will be easier to apologize and explain your behavior.
2. Arrange a joint dinner. Cook his favorite dishes, light candles and create a romantic atmosphere. With a glass of wine, the conversation will go easier.
3. Do not remind about the scandal. It is necessary to give the spouse to calm down and cool down. With a hot head, he will only become more angry and there will be no talk of reconciliation.

How to make peace with Aquarius

What if he is at fault?

The husband may also be to blame for the fact that the spouses quarreled. But men are stubborn and do not want to be the first to put up. A woman needs to push her husband to reconciliation. There are several effective ways to do this:

1. Do not blame, but try to figure it out. Tactfully explain to the man what his offense is. Try not to hold a grudge and not drag out a quarrel with silence. With this behavior, the husband realizes his mistake and asks for forgiveness.
2. Cause jealousy. If the husband is not to blame for a minor offense, but in a serious situation (flirting with another, betrayal), but the woman does not want to lose him, you can try to make the spouse jealous. Change the style of clothing, hairstyle, stay late from work, keep him at a distance and often chat on the phone. However, you should not go too far. As soon as the husband shows concern, you can safely take the first step.

The choice of method of reconciliation depends on the nature of the spouse. A person with an explosive temper needs to be given time to comprehend the situation; a quick-witted husband can be safely approached a few minutes after a quarrel.

How not to argue with your husband

How not to bring the matter to a divorce?

If the quarrel was so big that the spouse does not want to talk or even left the house, you must act immediately. Otherwise, it may lead to divorce. To avoid this unpleasant event, a few tips from a psychologist will help:

1. You should not get annoyed and fan the scandal even more. This will only push the man away and strengthen his desire to get a divorce.
2. No need to obsessively persuade your husband not to leave the family. He needs time to think about the situation. Perhaps the fatal words were uttered in the heat of the moment, and after a while the spouse will come to his senses and ask for forgiveness.
3. It is not recommended to talk about the quarrel with girlfriends, neighbors, etc. The advice of people who are unfamiliar with the situation can only do harm.
4. If the spouse does not talk and does not make contact in any way, you should be at home more often. Cook your husband's favorite dishes, try to create homeliness and a comfortable environment. More touching a man as if by chance.
5. You need to talk to your husband as a friend, try to express all your grief and dissatisfaction and listen to his point of view. This will help to better understand each other and solve family problems.

Reconciliation according to the horoscope

Astrologers say that it depends on the sign of the Zodiac how easily a person goes to reconciliation. If you study the horoscope of your loved one, you can easily find an approach to him and quickly make peace with your husband.

Zodiac sign	Characteristic
Aries	Aries men are quick-tempered and explosive. A quarrel with a representative of this sign turns into a violent showdown. But Aries are quick-witted and quickly forget insults. They are not too interested in the feelings of their partner, so the woman should be the first to put up with him.
Taurus	It is very easy to make peace with a Taurus. This sign hates disputes and conflicts and is quite capable of asking for forgiveness first.
Twins	Gemini tend to worry even because of a petty quarrel. For reconciliation, they need to be drawn into a conversation, and the Gemini will immediately forget about the quarrel.
Crayfish	The Cancer man is very vulnerable and vindictive. He harbors resentment for a long time and will never come first. Therefore, this step must be taken by a woman
a lion	It is very difficult to make peace with a Leo husband. Lions are touchy and remember the words spoken in the heat of the moment for a long time. For reconciliation, it will be necessary to repent for a long time and beg for forgiveness
Virgo	The Virgo man needs time to think about the situation. After that, he will most likely apologize himself.
scales	Libra is one of the most peaceful signs, it is almost impossible to quarrel with him. If this nevertheless happened, you need to invite your Libra spouse for a walk and talk frankly with him. After that, the conflict will be resolved
Scorpion	Scorpio men are vindictive and touchy. Before going to reconciliation, they will make them humiliate for a long time and remember all their grief
Sagittarius	Sagittarius is quick-witted and does not remember insults. He forgives his woman a lot, if not all
Capricorn	It is difficult to reconcile with the pedant-Capricorn. After the conflict, he withdraws into himself and does not want to talk. To call him for a conversation, you have to try
Aquarius	Aquarius is the most unpredictable sign of the zodiac. He is able to go for reconciliation a minute after the quarrel, or he can be silent for a whole month, harboring resentment
Fishes	The Pisces man is very sensitive and goes through every quarrel. He needs to be gentle and patient.

Harmony in the family is achieved through many years of persistent building of relationships, and disagreements along the way are inevitable. But all unpleasant moments can be settled if the desire to reconcile is mutual.

It would seem that it could be easier to reconcile with a loved one, but as practice shows, it is with loved ones and loved ones that we put up with the most difficult thing. How to reconcile with your husband if he is guilty? The difficulty of the situation is explained very simply - we are most susceptible to the actions and actions of our loved ones, and hence the insults caused by them, it is most difficult for us to "survive" and even more so to look at them soberly.

However, if we love, we want to live in peace and harmony, and even when a loved one is offended by wrongs, we crave reconciliation with him.

So why not reconcile and not forget about the grievances? Moreover, so much is said that only the weak do not forgive.

Many psychologists advise going to meet her husband and put up first. It is argued that it is easier for a woman to do this, since emotions are her forte. And this is true, but the whole problem is that it’s not about forgiveness, because when a woman wants to make peace with her husband if he is wrong, when she thinks about reconciliation first, then deep down she has already forgiven him.

How to reconcile with your husband

And here remains the most important reason that haunts and which does not allow reconciliation to be the first - this is the fear that a similar situation will happen again and such behavior of the husband will become the norm. The fear that by forgiving and going to reconciliation first, she will not only forgive her husband, but will take his guilt upon herself. Thus, she will give her husband the opportunity to continue to offend her without a twinge of conscience. At the same time, she will have nothing left to do but constantly swallow grievances and go to the meeting first.

Now one could say, why then do you need such a husband. It means he doesn't love you, it means he only thinks about himself and generally disagree with him, but this is all lyrics. People are not perfect, they are carried away, they are often wrong and do not see their mistakes - this is life and reality.

Therefore, the most effective way to show a husband and a person in general his mistakes is to poke him with his nose or make him feel like this on himself.

Actually, this is what we will do with you, because it’s not enough to want to make peace with your husband if he is guilty, you need to be able to do it right, be able to do it so that the husband is aware of his guilt and draws the right conclusions.

How to reconcile with your husband if he is guilty

The first thing to learn is that the task is not to make your husband feel guilty and ask for forgiveness from you. And to make them understand and realize their mistakes so that they do not happen again.

Thus, you will have to act very deliberately, probably stepping on your own throat. What to do, the strength of relationships is taken not from the air, but through the ability to manage your emotions.

The husband does not know about his guilt.
Of course, anything can happen, maybe the husband knows about his fault, just out of pride he does not fit and does not ask for forgiveness. Probably you could have had a strong scandal in which you openly insulted him for the offense, and for this reason he is not suitable and cannot be put up with. But most likely the reason is that the husband is confident that he is right, not seeing what is happening in reality, he looks at the situation from only one point of view and is convinced that the truth is on his side.

Be that as it may, there are reasons by which he justifies himself, so there is no need to get angry and assure yourself that he is an insensitive egoist, he is to blame and is not yet suitable for reconciliation. Even if this is true, just understand that your worldview and his are at odds. There is your side, there is his, and if his guilt is obvious, you just need to show him your side.

Force yourself to listen.
To do this, the beginning of your conversation should include the words: “Forgive me,” that is, you need to apologize to him.
Even if it seems to you that you are not to blame for anything, and you should not apologize, then just accept this item as a tricky move - by apologizing, you automatically endear the person to yourself and do not force him to listen to himself, but he himself wants to listen and hear you . This is what you need, because your goal is for your husband to realize and accept his guilt before you.

In reality, of course, there is always something to apologize for: for a raised tone, for rude words, for impatience, and so on. You need to understand that a quarrel is not one-sided, so think about what you could have done differently and apologize for not finding the strength to do it.

Get to the point.
After explaining what you apologized for, proceed to describe your point of view.
The transition should not include unions: but, but, only. Also, you should not go over to his personality, that is, to his side.
Your task is to show your side, and therefore you need to talk about yourself.

Example "Forgive me, I was wrong that I flared up and offended you, I should not have done this, but you ... .." - this is not possible

It is necessary: “Forgive me, I was wrong that I flared up and offended you, I shouldn’t have done this, it just hurt me, I’m from this situation ... ..”. And then everything, as you saw the situation that offended you, and in colors describe those feelings and your pain that you felt.
Thus, you will show him how it looked from the outside and describe that it really hurts.

Listen to him.
There should be no one-sided conversation, so he should also speak out and say what he thinks about the situation. At the same time, knowing your side, he must somehow react to it.

DO NOT expect him to apologize, but the words I understand that you were hurt, I won’t let this happen again, this is ideal.

Do not delay the conversation, brevity is the sister of talent, so after you understand that your husband has realized everything, close the conversation by saying “I'm glad you understood me, I love you” - something like this. Such a conversation will already be a victory for the two of you, and will give a good prospect for a peaceful solution to the difficulties that arise. http://love-911.ru/

How to reconcile with your husband if he is guilty. Video

Quarrels and conflicts between spouses are quite natural and quite frequent. Psychologists say that this is exactly what is necessary for the development of relationships and bringing them to a new stage. After all, if people completely stop conflicting, then this will already speak of complete indifference to each other. But quarrels are sometimes too exhausting, and it can be very difficult to make peace with a loved one, besides, situations are sometimes quite non-standard. This is what we will talk about today.

And the answer is silence...

It happens, it happens that after the raging "tsunami" the spouses do not really want to communicate at all, and even more so to make contact. Even if the wife has already thawed, and is trying in every possible way to improve relations, the husband can take a principled position, especially when he considers himself right. How to be in a similar situation? How to reconcile with your husband?

If your soul mate turned out to be incredibly stubborn, this does not mean at all that you need to immediately run to apologize or repent. Otherwise, you can only do harm, because in this way you will make it clear to your husband that you lack elementary self-respect, and give him a reason to disregard your opinion too. Patience is the main rule to follow. After you manage to pause, you can proceed to the next stage - to organize a small feast at home with the participation of mutual friends of your family. This will cheer both of them up, and besides, it will help to tune in the right way, since with acquaintances the husband will not embarrass himself by involving you in a quarrel. It is likely that after the holiday, the husband will finally have a desire to talk with his wife, to make contact.

Calm down the tsunami

Sometimes family quarrels are so strong that the question of how to make peace with her husband is very acute. After all, everything is at stake: the well-being and further development of the family. But even at such a critical moment, something can be corrected and returned to its place.

Very often, even the most difficult situations are solved simply. Quarrels are no exception. The fastest way is to pretend that nothing happened and simply “forget” about the conflict. Yes, it’s not easy, but sometimes it’s worth rethinking everything and understanding that the relationship with your husband is more important to you than personal ambitions. And no matter how strong the quarrel is, this option remains the most acceptable. Another method that will be no less convincing is if you simply silently approach your spouse, hug him and say a couple of affectionate words in his ear. Yes, both of you will immediately forget who was wrong and who was right. If quarrels are resolved in this way, then they will immediately become much less.

You can also approach your spouse, expressing the reason for your dissatisfaction in the correct form. That is, do not express your emotions, but voice them. For example, tell him: “I resent you for being…” and so on.

save the marriage

When quarrels are very serious, it comes to divorce, then drastic measures are needed. The main thing is not to panic ahead of time and not wind yourself up. It is likely that these are all your personal speculations, or your husband, in a fit of passion, threw a careless phrase, but anyway, it's worth checking.

Everything is very simple. The wife needs to muster up the courage to try to make contact in any way, even if the spouse does not go to him. For example, the husband knows that you return from work at five in the evening. Allow yourself to linger for a couple of hours, and not warn him of anything. It is important that none of your friends and family know where you are. Then you return home, look at the reaction of your spouse. Whether he was worried, whether he immediately began to ask about what happened, or not. This is a great method that immediately gives one hundred percent result. So you can immediately understand whether he wants to or not for a very long time, otherwise it can aggravate the situation.

Wisdom is the best ally

It also happens that you need to look for a way to make peace with your husband, provided that he himself is to blame. In this case, you need to give him the opportunity to realize this.

It may happen that your spouse simply does not know that he is guilty, thinking completely differently. For example, in a fit of emotion, you said a lot of offensive words to him, and now he just doesn’t want to apologize out of pride. But you still know that you are right about the essence of the conflict! Therefore, act in this case wisely, with progressive movements. Oddly enough, but you should squirm first. So it will be easier to win over your husband after a quarrel and realize that somewhere he could hurt you. Believe me, his apology will not be long in coming! It’s also very good if, after mutual apologies, you simply move on to arguing your point of view, return to the subject of the conflict, but with a different mood without insults and claims. Also, give him the opportunity to speak, try to listen carefully, and do not interrupt. The main thing is that in this way you will be able to establish relationships and wait for an apology.

admit mistakes

If you need to improve relations with a man, provided that the woman is to blame, then you should try.

You can cheat a little, allowing the storm to settle down. As soon as the spouse forgives you, he will immediately take the first step towards reconciliation. Most men are quite easygoing, perhaps this is your option.
Any quarrels are resolved in an instant if the wife offers her husband a trip to his mother. It is known that for many men, mother is the standard of woman and beauty. Even if you don’t manage to make peace in 5 minutes, the spouse will still feel better from such an event.
Speaking frankly and apologizing for all grievances on your part is also a good option in this case. The husband will appreciate this step, he will even be proud that his wife can admit it when she is really guilty.
And you can use the "classics" - a delicious romantic dinner, smoothly flowing into intimate games. Your significant other will be delighted, and in the bedroom it will not matter at all who was right.
Surprise. You can write how you love your husband by putting a message in his jacket pocket in the morning, and then wait for reconciliation.

Some more effective ways...

In the case when reconciliation after a quarrel does not come in any way, and you have already made all attempts, you can use a special conspiracy. Here you need to follow a few rules.

It is best to read it before going to bed.
After that, do not give any items to anyone.
Don't communicate with anyone.
Do it alone.

“The sun and the moon do not go to war with each other! Stone and water always live in friendship! The spirit of heaven and earth must be in harmony! So the Servant of God (husband's name) with the Servant of God (name yourself) in affection and love to reconcile, do not sulk, do not swear, but joke and laugh! Amen!" Read three times.

The conspiracy, of course, is only suitable for those who believe in magic. In addition to conspiracy, you can also use simpler methods of reconciliation. For example, you can invite your husband to do a joint business: cook a meal together or do a general cleaning. Or you can just invite him to the park for a walk. There are many options, the main thing is to choose a method that will quietly unite you, then reconciliation will not take long.

Thus, you should not puzzle too much about how to make peace with your husband. After all, it is important not only how it will be done, but also with what mood. The main thing is that you sincerely want to continue your relationship, and also take care of the further well-being of the family.

It would seem that it could be easier to reconcile with a loved one, but as practice shows, it is with loved ones and loved ones that we put up with the most difficult thing.

This phenomenon is explained very simply - we are most susceptible to the actions and actions of our loved ones, and hence the insults caused by them, it is most difficult for us to "survive" and even more so to look at them soberly.

Nevertheless, if we love, we want to live in peace and harmony, and even when a loved one has offended and is wrong, we crave reconciliation with him.

So why not reconcile and not forget about the grievances? Moreover, so much is said that only the weak do not forgive.

Therefore, the most effective way to show a husband and a person in general his mistakes is to poke him with his nose or make him feel like this on himself.

How to reconcile with your husband if he is guilty

The husband does not know about his guilt.
Of course, anything can happen, maybe the husband knows about his fault, just out of pride he does not fit and does not ask for forgiveness. Probably you could have had a strong scandal in which you openly insulted him for the offense, and for this reason he is not suitable and cannot be put up with. But most likely the reason is that the husband is confident that he is right, not seeing what is happening in reality, he looks at the situation from only one point of view and is convinced that the truth is on his side.
Be that as it may, there are reasons by which he justifies himself, so there is no need to get angry and assure yourself that he is an insensitive egoist, he is to blame and is not yet suitable for reconciliation. Even if this is true, just understand that your worldview and his are at odds. There is your side, there is his, and if his guilt is obvious, you just need to show him your side.
Force yourself to listen.
To do this, the beginning of your conversation should include the words: “Forgive me,” that is, you need to apologize to him.
Even if it seems to you that you are not to blame for anything, and you should not apologize, then just accept this item as a tricky move - by apologizing, you automatically endear the person to yourself and do not force him to listen to himself, but he himself wants to listen and hear you . This is what you need, because your goal is for your husband to realize and accept his guilt before you.
In reality, of course, there is always something to apologize for: for a raised tone, for rude words, for impatience, and so on. You need to understand that a quarrel is not one-sided, so think about what you could have done differently and apologize for not finding the strength to do it.
Get to the point.
After explaining what you apologized for, proceed to describe your point of view.
The transition should not include unions: but, but, only. Also, you should not go over to his personality, that is, to his side.
Your task is to show your side, and therefore you need to talk about yourself.
Example "Forgive me, I was wrong that I flared up and offended you, I should not have done this, but you ... .." - this is not possible
It is necessary: “Forgive me, I was wrong that I flared up and offended you, I shouldn’t have done this, it just hurt me, I’m from this situation ... ..”. And then everything, as you saw the situation that offended you, and in colors describe those feelings and your pain that you felt.
Thus, you will show him how it looked from the outside and describe that it really hurts.
Listen to him.
There should be no one-sided conversation, so he should also speak out and say what he thinks about the situation. At the same time, knowing your side, he must somehow react to it.

DO NOT expect him to apologize, but the words I understand that you were hurt, I won’t let this happen again, this is ideal.

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