He is bad, but without it is impossible. I feel bad or as a break of a life crisis

Hello, my name is Vika. I have a problem in the family I don't know how to do and what should I do.

I am already living with my husband for 15 years during this time I have a husband I think I think that I know his mood of his habit and his tastes and lifestyles.
When we met, I fell in love with him from the first upgrade I was 16 it was not only the first love but also the first man in my life. Before this meeting, I did what I wanted. I went with girlfriends to the disco and I had my own circle of friends, but my husband didn't like my friends nor my hiking on the discos.
I began to live as he liked and stopped himself with his friends fearing that he would not like it. But we always had a problem in intimate life I didn't want so often how he would like it, and he suspected me that I had something besides him Ah, and this is not so we have always swore and talked to these topics. A summary of why it is.

I do not understand why I don't want so often as if he would like. For some time, I did everything as he liked and paid him all his time before the appearance of our child.

When we had a daughter became even worse, he did not help me. We lived at Mom 3 months (because I had Cesarean), and he lived at us at home and came only to spend. Duty cried all the time I could not sleep and wearing a long time I could not wear a long time, but he didn't help him does not matter. We moved home the same thing and the first year is simply not endured.
We always swore he wants to have no strength. And all our 15 llag owls. He did not do any life at home, until the scandal did not occur and he said that this is because the Unas is not so often sex as he would like.

And I do not have the strength and desire and I understand that it is not unlimited and what it can lead it. I don't know whether it is correct or not may I have to do it in strength to keep the family.

He blames me in treason, I do not do this because I don't want it to eat this. I went out from the decree to work, and he had problems with working, then the boss did not like the type of work, otherwise he wanted to take his business. And we sat down in deep ... on my salary, and she is minimal.

I understand the recession and fall in the business, but he stopped giving money and spends only on the car.
Throughout our lives, we did not have enough money, but my parents and his parents were helped. "They gave us all and for repair and equipment and products in those moments when we could not cope. But the husband did not want to do anything on the house even garbage I myself.

He came the lady and wanted to be clean that it was to eat and so that I spent time in the evening. It's hard for me to all taway without seeing moisture or even attempts to help me on the housework. I start every day from 5 am at work, I took in 16 child from kindergarten and at home cleaning, cooking and so every day.

He began to leap at work all the time busy went home for the computer and weighs on the Internet we do not speak we live like neighbors.
We have new friends married couple. We began to communicate quite often and I began to postpone that his friend's wife began to skim himself as strangely to act like the phrase that I began to look after her and listen. I began to notice that I was not pleasant for me and I hurt him jealous, that it is love or this is mine and naked.
He began to carry it to work they melt along the way or a friend asked. She herself says that she likes this type of men as my husband.

I began to behave differently. I changed the lost weight began to dress as I like and talk in general to behave relaxed and beyond how my husband was unresolved for me for all the time of our life. And I felt the attention of not only his friends, but also surrounding, but only not her husband, he immediately, or did the view that he could not.

I revealed that I stopped to be interesting. I began to think that he was interesting to him who else would be the other. I began to think that this is all the end will be divorced that this life does not suit me and I mentally prepared myself to this, but like the husband wanted me To talk about it to everyone, but I did not think that after this conversation I would feel like hell.

The husband said that he could not live like that he wanted a female and not sister that he was tired of living like this and what was better to divorce and live on. That he does not feel a closure for proximity, but I am the most expensive people with my daughter for him and he is ready to give away for us.

He says that he himself is guilty that I like myself so myself with him, and that I need a man, but he cannot become the man who I need.
I asked you want a divorce, but I don't want it, I don't know why I wanted to save, I asked him not to write, let's try to live differently, he agreed.

I understand that for the month I will not correct what collapsed for years but I didn't want to do it so much I don `t know me very much to understand that this is all the end I relieved to believe I tried to do what he loves and what he wants and in sex too But he was and remained cold to me.

Why does it hurt me now when I myself prepared myself to the divorce, I can't put it down as I would continue to live without him, although I am not urba and not deprived by the posted by the attention of men, I'm not afraid to stay alone I am afraid without him.

What to do in this situation I do not know. I root every day I feel bad.

He says that this is not love that this is the habit that we are close people, but it is not love. And shouts when he sees that I will cry that he hurts him that I am so reacting to his behavior and words.

Why I feel bad with him, but I do not want without him. Why I lived all my life as he wanted, but when he gives me the right to live like I want it, I didn't want to change this month of my attempts to change and I did not have a response reaction, he also had no time to disappear at work and proximity he also did not need He says that I myself wanted so much and I achieved this and that he does not want not only me and others too.

I say then let's divorce and he does not want.
I don't know what I do to do it torment me. I will calm down, I will calm him jealous to everyone and with a tolnaya I will roar even now Cunda is writing it.

I am so bad for me so bad and why he does not want to divorce if a month ago he wanted it that I don't know. I'm confused.

I go to a closed circle. The person with whom we together for 4 months, I will not notice at all at all. He was not so important now to call me, write, walk with me ... It's long known that he does not love me, he hides our relationship from his acquaintances. I asked many times: "Why do you do that?" And he answers me: "I say that I have a girlfriend, but it's not necessary to know that they are, I don't want to gossip" I believe, I calm down for a while, and then ... then I find out that he fluttering everything, That he is a free man ... I did not believe first, and then I asked my girlfriend to piss him. Compleced to the truth, he led immediately! I made a hysteria, he stated me that he just joked that he loved me. I knew - this is a lie ... It's lying again, but I loved too much, forgot ... My meaning of life closed on it. He knows how I love him and it seems to me just regret. Because he belongs to me completely indifferent.
I tell me to let go, do not torment yourself, but I can not imagine life without him. Once, I was already staggering pills when we just quarreled, then I almost died ... Do not think that I did it to scare him and return it. I just did not want to live without him.
It is addiction. What to do?

Ksana, St. Petersburg, 16 years

Answer art psychologist:

Hello, Xana.

Yes, your condition looks like a love dependence - you can not without him, you are not interested in life without him, I don't want anything without him. And your condition is understandable. Of course, with such states you need to work in part at the consultation of the psychologist, especially since you have already had such a difficult case with pills. If you have the opportunity, if close to support, consult a psychologist in person. In the meantime, think about your life more widely. In 16, you brazed the pills and did not want to live, you can't without this person wipes about you legs, you can enjoy you and your feelings. What will happen in 18? And in 21? And in 24? How would you consider worthy to live these years? Do you want to be with him all this time and hope that your relationship will ever be applied and will be full? Objectively, the chances of this are practically equal to zero. Everything can only be worse - in the end, he will betray you and leave. And you from this person, put your hand on the heart, do not expect this? Then you say that it is better to die? Perhaps also exit. But you never wanted to love and be truly beloved, and not to serve as a foot rug? Did not want to learn and deal with something interesting in life? Did not want to have family and children in the future? They did not want to develop in a beautiful and interesting woman, see a lot in life, a lot to try, somewhere to go, do something? And how do you think it seems to do it for some young stupid scum and put it all on the card - this is the most faithful solution? How much do you have ahead! How many decent men who themselves will give you love, joy, care and run after you! You have parents, close, friends - they consider worthy to change your life on this individual, is it worth it? Come on, Ksana, we bury you better than you stay without such a wonderful guy, like this, where it is still still to find, it will be better in all life, so that or with him or in any way. Does all this seems to you adequate, normal worthy of? I understand you, as it is impossible, you love, you want with him by anything, you feel bad without him. But in the relationship of man always two, and if the other does not want, does not try, does it all on the contrary, then it does not make him to love him, the love of the bastard does not conquer, it does not change any actions. So you need to change myself, change your attitude and change your life if you respect yourself if you love yourself even a bit, if you think that you are worthy of a normal future and happy youth.

Sincerely, Pugacheva Maria.

Why I feel so bad that I do not feel that harmony, as it was before? How to get rid of the terrible feeling of emptiness that accompanies me everywhere? The soul suffers from such thoughts, and the desire to live is simply not. When life acquires the status "everything is difficult," and the day consists of some failures and moral stresses - it's time to get behind the helm of your "ship". The search for the reasons will help to send to a new direction, because they laid the "root of evil". Help is not far off - just read to the end.

Everything is very bad or why it happens

When the morning begins not with a cheating charge and smiles, but with sadness, complete hopelessness - obviously, you need to think about yourself. Where does that deep sadness arise from which it is difficult to get out of the week? Why there is a soul failure, and you are no longer the cheerful man, and a gray shadow? Negative emotions will wait at the most inappropriate moment when we do not expect it. Yesterday there was a novel with a loved one, wealth, peace, and today everything is awry. Negative can fly into life, but it is important not to let him go here. When everything is bad -, and with it, the energy disappears anything. It is important to figure out what exactly the reason for sadness is. This state has obvious, as well as hidden features.

When a person says "Help me bad," he can experience:

• Family problems - The most frequent occasion. As part of a misunderstanding from the close, the eternal quarrel is born with a closure in itself. Negative feelings arise due to insufficient love, mutual understanding, support.
• Everything is very bad and at work. Colleagues do not understand, and still this boss criticizes ever? You have to go for hours to another part of the city, and then stay until the night in the office? Stressful employment is capable of making a worn crust from an energetic personality. The disloyal team is a frequent cause of nervous disruptions.
• I feel bad for health. When you feel your weakness, I want to cry and return to normal. Habitual life with light thoughts is difficult to imagine without good health. It is important not to delay, turn to the doctor and lead yourself in the opposite form.
• How bad I feel, because a loved one threw me. Nights Night in tears, a sad look in the window, apathy towards the surrounding world - all this brings depression. Difficulties in relationships are happy to be joyful.

A person can also say "I feel bad", if he for a long time could not get out of the bitter state. Negative tends to turn into a chronic depression, which is difficult to find calm. One reason is capable of refable to another, which creates a chain of unpleasant consequences.

For example, a university student is experiencing problems in communicating with classmates. He always comes home in a bad mood, ignores relatives on the nervous soil, grows them. It provokes parents on the scandal and the verbal swords begins. At the same time, the child's child ceases to learn well, which threatens him from a departure from the budget to the contract. The family can not afford to pay training, and the son under the wave of depression begins to take alcohol, smoking. This is a pretty banal example, but it takes place in real life.

Likewise, there are thousands of others, and the conclusion is one - people themselves drive themselves into a deaf angle. It is worth dealing with one problem, which will eliminate the appearance of the following. The output from the depressive state often lies with us before your eyes.

What to do when bad

I feel bad and it eats me morally every day - help me! It is important to immediately take yourself in hand and do something in the form of moral shake. The feeling of own helplessness gradually makes the person of uncontrolled. Stresses are increasingly affecting behavior, much ceases to delight, as before, and strong feelings cease to morally help. In the launched cases, scold for strong exposure circumstances is the best lesson that can be learned.

Council, the word from the side sometimes can not break through the wall of misunderstanding, which man himself created. Is it all bad so much that I want to bring ends with the ends? We take the will in a fist, call the most important people to whom you can trust, and express everything that has accumulated during this time. Comrade, native will always understand, help in a difficult moment. Perhaps all this time the victim is not enough sincere understanding, the release of yourself from all this confusion.

If the feeling "I feel bad" you seen you, then read our advice and they will certainly help you.

Avoid solitude

When everything is very bad - you do not need to finish yourself more silence. In such an atmosphere, a person pumps the situation, becomes vulnerable. ? It is important not to justify your behavior and blame others in your troubles. Under any circumstances can be distracted. Why not read the book? View interesting movie or go shopping? How is the idea to listen to your favorite music that will save from the inner barrier? Karaoke, by the way, helps very well.

Surround yourself care

This Council complements the previous one. Positive charge can be obtained from dusty friends who can drive up at any moment, call in a cafe! There is always the one who is with you, as "not spilling water." I am very bad, but no one can get me! What to do? It is important to defuse the situation and go into the outside world. Why not get acquainted with an interesting person, do not go for a long-awaited date, discard fears and offer someone to meet? You can cheer yourself if you stop thinking about sore.

Overcome fear and fix the situation

In order not to be this, you need to correct the fatal error, which is the cause of everything. The problem is reached for many months, maybe a year? Such a stone on the soul simply sews the opportunity to live fully! If the conscience is tormented, then you do not need to be afraid to apologize, tell the truth. I would like to say about your feelings - the main thing is not in gross form, but it is clear that the person is clear. Fear is gestay, deprives the gift of speech - you do not need to put up with it. You can always chat the guilt, which will not only calm you, but also the opponent.

Decide Time Sport

Sport - radiant vitamin, from which the body flies, the soul is facilitated, the mood is updated. Breathe free breasts, in a beautiful, powerful body - is it not happiness? Regular classes raise willpower. It is her who often lacks to fight moral Handrea. After a few months of fitness, the gym The one who used to be without his strength for any reason, today will confidently stay afloat.

Have fun and relax

When, you should afford to relax. The holiday is impossible in the gloomy, the attached setting. The terrible sadness messes, if you go to the long-awaited journey, please yourself with a gift, invite relatives to the restaurant, leave the city in nature. Why not visit the spa for a relaxing massage? Or maybe go to a football match and cheerfully cheer for your favorite team? It is worth replacing the usual habitat on something bright as we will play new paints.

Proper nutrition and care

I feel bad because I'm ugly, fat, I'm angry for any reason. We are those that we eat. Gastronomic interest woke up in a person since antiquity and does not fade since then. We eat to move, think, grow morally and physically. Feel the ease of thoughts in a healthy body. It's time to get rid of unnecessary kilograms, because of which there is no feeling of freedom.

It is worth replacing eating cakes on fresh fruit, and fast food on vegetables, cereals, fish. Everything must be moderately, but can never be launched to disgrace. In a state of long depression, a person with a radiant smile, a thin waist, a smooth tone of the skin turns into a similarity of an unhealthy personality. P. S. Black chocolate, tea, oranges perfectly tone!

Positive thinking - the best medicine!

Why is I so bad? Case in thinking! It is important to reconsider your view on the world, not to lower your hands, see the prospect in your future. Bad thoughts directly leave the imprint on the worldview. Even in a gray day, you can think about the world around, health, opportunities to walk, see, dream. Someone is now a completely terrible situation, and we, sometimes, are upset by trifles.

You are well done that they reached the victorious end of this article. We believe that now you are less worried about the idea "I feel bad and life is over." Continue today with new thoughts about good, find a way out of this West. Start changes for the better never late, but even useful!

After 4 months, he made me an offer in front of the whole family, on one knee, gave a gorgeous ring - everything was so beautiful! They wanted to hang. I was on the seventh heaven from happiness - I was sure that it was! But in fact, everything was not so beautiful, as it seems. He is a very emotionally unstable person. He was tormented by unhealthy jealousy to my previous relationships and sexual partners - he constantly asked me about everything in detail, wanted to know everything! And I, stupid, thought that if I was frank with him, he would become easier, and he told him everything. Everything was only aggravated. He continued to jealous me, we continued to quarrel because of this. But all this was periodically. Between the quarrels and jealousy, our relations turned into a fairy tale, full of love and tenderness. And we both believed that now everything will be fine, and dreamed together about a strong family, three sons, a big beautiful house, and dreamed of to be together. Against the background of all the rest, we decided to wait with the wedding. For me it was a very difficult solution - as if to take a step back in the relationship. I flatly refused to go to the registry office, but still he convinced me that it doesn't matter for him - he wants me to be his wife in spite of everything, and we will be mistaken - in a year or two - when we are really ready for This (I must say that we have not been 18 years old for a long time .. I almost 27, he is 25). We filed a statement, appointed the date and time, announced the whole family and friends. But problems were, and remained. We continued to quarrel on the soil of his jealousy. He was in this situation heavier than everything - he applied to psychologists, Orthodox spiritualists, I tried to watch the relevant films and read the literature, but nothing helped. As a result, it was such a day when he said that he was tired of offending me, and it does not want to hurt me more - and we need to disperse. I will say that we lived at that time abroad, and removed the total housing, that is, "drove" meant - to break through different rooms and stop sleeping together. We continued to live under the same roof - I suffered, he did the view that he was good. Or he was actually good. Against the background of all this, his mother hated me. She said me and accused that I kept him that I was the same (at that time I did not work) that I didn't have a couple of him .. I read him lecture that he needs to stop relations with me, and did it very much Workshops - washed his brains to such an extent that over time I stopped learning to know my beloved person. At this time I ended the university, I sat on the textbooks in the afternoon and at night. Instead of supporting me, my young man continued to flour my nerves, we diverged, they went home, I flew to me back with flowers and apologies, and oaths, that it was the last time .. again parted, I flew again. These were the most difficult months in my life. However, I had enough strength to finish the university, and, as was planned, we returned together back to your homeland - forever. We have no housing here. Planned to buy an apartment, but all the formalities would take at least six months. The first time (three days) lived at his parents (his mother calmed down by that time), but in the end she kicked us out. They switched to my parents - they took silence, although against the background of all the events were not so happy to him in our house. And we all continued to swear, offend, insult each other in quarrels. And we dispersed again. He left to live to his parents. For three weeks I lay in bed - neither alive, nor dead. Parents did not know what to do with me. Girlfriends could not pull me out of the house .. And at that time he rested, communicated with his friends, spent time in pleasure. Three weeks later we came together - promised to try each other once again, give each other a chance ... He said that without me he was not him, and only I am his own woman, and no longer he can be happy. No wedding, naturally, no speech. Now our relationship is rare (maximum 2-3 times a week) meetings in the evenings, from which I do not get any more pleasure. However, put the point I have no strength and determination. I am afraid that I still love him, but I do not know if it is. Still calm the hope that we can be happy, although I understand that there is no head! He turned into a terrible egoist, a calculating and mercenary person! Tenderness, heat and trepid no more. His eyes he looked at me as no one had ever looked earlier, walked and became strangers. But I still love him ... I am deeply depressed - I turned into a boring, uninteresting bore. I want nothing. I do not go anywhere. I was covered with laziness, apathy and full indifference to life. I don't want to walk more with him on dates, I don't want him to come to me - because I know that this will only bring me another portion of pain. And at the same time I pray for the phone, waiting for his call or SMS. But without him, I can not imagine my life - what if everything will come back? Please tell me what to do? How to find the strength to return to life, and part (or establish relationships) with this person? What literature to read? Where to seek salvation? I want to be happy. But now in my life except the tears and disappointment there is nothing. Thanks in advance!