An independent child - learn to make decisions and make a choice. Tasks of moral education and ways to implement them how to teach a child to make a choice

26.06.2020

Elena, Mother of 8-year-old Zhenya, says that one day her son brought a new handle from school. He said that he found her on the floor in the classroom, and therefore took himself. Elena explained to his wife that it could not be done and said to give a pen to the teacher so that he would find out who she belongs. At first, my wife did not like it, but when Elena explained why it will correctly give the handle to its owner, he agreed.

Parents and teachers must teach the child to moral principles and explain to him what actions are correct, and which are not. The understanding of moral behavior and the ability to act correctly depends on the environment in which the child is growing, as well as from its emotional, cognitive, physical and social skills.

Consider the main stages of the moral development of children and try to figure out how parents can instill moral values.

what that moral

Morality is the ability to see the difference between the correct and incorrect intentions, thoughts, actions and behavior. Parents must instill with the child these concepts - this is the main goal of the whole process of education. The moral development of the child is associated with the concepts of morality, which the child is learning from infancy and throughout the adult life.

Stages moral development children

The moral development of the child occurs gradually, starting with infant age to adolescent and older age. Consider in more detail the main stages of this process:

1. Infancy

Babies do not understand the moral principles. Their understanding of the right and wrong depends on their feelings and desires. After spending 9 months in the womb, the baby expects the mother to continue to meet his needs. From whether these needs are satisfied, it depends on how the baby understands the correct and incorrect:

feelings of hunger and loneliness cause discomfort to the child, so he considers them wrong;
when Mom cares about the child, hugs and feeds him, he concludes that it is right, and if the mother does not respond to his needs, feels fear and concludes that it is wrong.

2. Early childhood (2-3 years)

At this age, the child begins to understand that other people also have rights and needs. However, he still does not realize the difference between the right and wrong. At the age of 2-3 years, the baby may feel guilty and stick to the moral behavior based on empathy. Based on the reactions of parents, the child understands the need to obey them, because:

the child knows that pick up toys from younger brother is bad, because for this parents can punish him;
he does not understand why the peers can not push, but knows what will be punished for it;
the child usually adheres to the established rules to avoid punishment.

3. Preschool age (3-5 years)

At this age, the child adopts family values. We note some patterns of this process:

since the rules and norms are necessary for discipline in the family, they become important for the child;
the child expects parents or other adults to take control over the situation;
he understands the role of a child and an adult and expects adults to control it;
he understands that the acts entail the consequences;
positive education allows you to establish a connection with the child, and it behaves well. If there is no such connection, the child will come, based on his feelings, until he is caught on poor behavior.

4. Schoolage (7 – 10 years)

From the age of seven years old, children begin to doubt if parents, teachers and other authoritative people are infallible. The features of this phase are:

the child clearly understands that he should and what should not do. He wants to participate in the establishment of rules;
the child develops a sense of justice, he understands the need for rules;
he understands that children have their own rights. He considers the rules on the basis of whether they are suitable for him or not.

5. Teenage age (11-16 years old)

As the child approaches adult age, he begins to develop his own moral values, analyzing and questioning the values \u200b\u200bthat parents instill him:

the teenager expands the horizons of its moral principles and sees the rules as a set of social benchmarks that benefit everyone;
he appreciates the rules, but discusses them;
teenager shows interest in what is useful for society, because at this age he develops ability to abstract thinking;
he begins to understand that his solutions affect the surrounding people;
teenager wants his peers to take it, for this he can change its moral principles;
thus, the child's opinion is changing from "I do so, because I think it is right" before "I do it, because it is so accepted in my family" and further - "I do it, because it is right."

The moral development of the child is a more complex process than the absorption of family values. Psychologists offer various theories explaining this process.

The theory of moral development Jean Piaget

Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget, whose works were devoted to children's development, argued that in its moral development, children pass two main stages.

The first stage, which lasts up to the seven age, is called heteronomy. At this stage, moral principles are imposed by a child. After seven years, a new stage is gradually begins - autonomy.

Piaget noted that the moral development of the child depends on its cognitive abilities. Accordingly, he shared the process of moral development to such stages:

Sensor stage (up to 2 years):

the child understands the world in accordance with the development of motility;
he gets a new experience through physical interaction: looks at objects, grabs them or puts in the mouth;
the child absorbs the "constancy of objects": he understands that items exist, even when he cannot see them, hear or grab.

Preoperative stage (from 2 to 7 years):

the child does not have the ability to decentralize, that is, all his actions come from the belief that his needs someone should provide;
it is not well developed by logic to carry out mental operations;
the child's thinking is egocentric, i.e. it is not able to understand the point of view of another person.

At the first two stages, the child is not able to distinguish what belongs to him, and what belongs to others. Consequently, all his actions are aimed at meeting their own needs, so it is concerned about this.

Stage of specific operations (7-11 years):

the child has no ability to abstract to argue;
during this process, the child increases the mental presentation of objects;
due to the development of a cognitive-symbolic sphere, the child quickly masters the language;
the child decreases egocentrism.

Stage of formal operations (11-12 years):

the child begins to argue abstractly;
the child develops a physical and mental representation of objects.

At the stages of concrete and formal operations, the child can see things from the side. He understands the importance of cooperation, reciprocity and equality. During this period, it moves from heteronomy to autonomy.

The theory of moral development of Lorenz Kolberg

American psychologist Lawrence Kolberg proposed the theory of moral development, in accordance with which allocated the following steps:

Stage 1: Orientation for punishment and obedience. Little children behave correctly because they are afraid of those who have power, and follow the rules to avoid punishment;
Stage 2: Egoism / Individualism. The child considers the correct actions that satisfy its needs, and sometimes the needs of others. Reciprocity at this stage is not associated with affection or justice;
Stage 3: Good boy / good girl. The correct action in the understanding of the child is the one that the surrounding and impressive is impressive. The child is worried about what impression he produces on others, with the help of good behavior, he is looking for approval;
Stage 4: Orientation on the law and order. Proper behavior means fulfilling its debt, submission to social norms to itself for the benefit and respect for power;
Stage 5: Orientation on a social contract. The child recognizes universal principles, rights and social norms. In addition to socially accepted norms, the correct actions are based on personal values \u200b\u200band beliefs;
Stage 6: Orientation on universal ethical principles. Correct actions are determined by the conscience of a person in accordance with the selected ethical principles.

The first and second stages of Kolberg called the preconvenational morality, the third and fourth - conventional, and the last two stages - post-conventional morality.

The theory of moral development Carol Gilligan

Carol Gilligan, a student of Lorenz Kolberg, noticed that the study of Kolberg concerned only the moral development of boys and men. She argued that the moral and mental development of women and men differs. Men are considering morality from the point of view of rules and justice, and women are in terms of care and relationships. Carol Gilligan allocates such stages of moral development:

in the preconvenational stage, the purpose of the child is survival;
then the child acquires a sense of responsibility for others;
at the conventional stage, the child develops self-sacrifice;
then the child perceives himself as a person and is now trying to behave not well, but correct;
in the post-conventional stage, the child understands the need for no harm to himself and others.

Theory of Moral Development Berres Skinner

The theory of Beret Skinner is based on the principles of behaviorism:

the external world is crucial for the formation of the morality of the child;
the main tool of moral development is socialization.

There are several theories about the moral development of the child. Their essence lies in the fact that parents and the environment of the child affect this process.

The role of parents in the moral development of children

Children learn morally from the closest people. To help in this child, parents can take the following steps:

motivate the child to act within acceptable norms;
the definition and recognition of emotions in the early stages will help the child to understand what you sympathize with him;
praise the child every time he manifests positive behavior and demonstrates the correct moral behavior. So the child will understand what is expected of him;
your children carefully watch you. Store the rules you teach the child, show him a good example.

In addition, to become a good example for imitation for your child, you should teach it right from a moral point of view of behavior models.

how instill to kid moral values

To instill a child any moral values \u200b\u200bnot easy. We offer several tips on this:

explain to the child the moral principles that, in your opinion, are of paramount importance;
tell the child how bad behavior affects others and himself. For example: "If you are telling a lie, one day no one will believe you";
discuss with the child hypothetical situations so that he appreciates his thoughts and decided. For example: "Imagine that you are mocking at school. How would you do? ";
explain to the child that good deeds have good consequences;
make sure you fulfill your obligations and promises, data to the child, and show kindness to it;
apply a good example of highly melted behavior;
encourage classes that teach a child of morality.

Classes developing morality in a child

To show his best moral qualities in the child, offer him to play individual, group and educational games. Games can teach children to cooperate and equality, as:

group games (for example, hide and hide and running running, etc.) teach children honesty and the importance of following the rules;
through group games, children understand that the rules should not be followed to avoid punishment, but because it is correct and ethical;
the game in the noliki cross is well suited for young children. Play her with a child to show that you can be with him on an equal footing;
this game helps children understand that they can take responsibility for some of their actions and solutions and that not everything depends on other people.

The moral development of the child is no less important than the physical and mental. You do not need to wait until the child grows up to explain to him moral norms. Start from early childhood and become a good example for a child. So the child will be able to adopt your moral values \u200b\u200band make them an integral part of his life.

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When children face problems and difficulties, their behavior becomes either part of the problem or part of its solution. The ability to make the right choice - even if there is no desire, it requires guidance, briefing and practices. Help the child to develop the psychological stability necessary to manage its behavior even in cases where it is upset or faced with difficult circumstances.

The behavior of the child, as well as his thoughts and emotions, is often completely dependent on the circumstances. The child who coped well with the control work in mathematics, thinks: "I am a smart guy" and all day is proud of himself. In the evening of the same day, he gladly fulfills the mother's request to do homework, because he feels excellently.

But if the same child is the next day receives an unsatisfactory assessment, he might think: "What is I stupid", and every day to blow and sorry yourself. When in the evening his mother reminds him that it was time to do homework, he can argue or complain because he feels disgusting.

It is very important to teach children to the fact that even when they are bad or their troubles, even when the circumstances seem to be not in their favor or do not allow to think calmly, they still can make the right choice. Initially, the mastery of this skill will require greater support and learning educating adults. But the ultimate goal of the child should be in the ability to manage their behavior so as to make a healthy choice, even when there are no parents nearby.

Focus on causes and consequences

Children should know that their behavior leads to the consequences of a certain kind. It is important to show that the choice they do affects their feelings and feelings of other people.

Teach the child of empathy, sympathy and compassion, encourage pay attention to how his behavior affects other people. For example, if he wants to leave the football team, his choice will affect all the members and the team as a whole. Or, if he does not want to invite someone on his birthday, it can hurt the feelings of this person.

In addition, discuss how the behavior of the child affects his own mood. For example, if he chooses the option to sit and watch TV all day, then it may be bored. But if he goes outside to play with a friend, then may feel inspiring, joy and tide of energy. Or if he hits his friend at the time of resentment or indignation, then after some time it may feel bad, because he did painfully with another person. Talk to the child about how important it is to find healthy ways to manage your own emotions.

Instite confidence that encourages solving problems

The way children choose a way to respond to everyday problems, extremely affects their life experience in general. Even when children demonstrate potentially successful solutions, many of them believe that these solutions will not help, do not work. Their negative thoughts interfere with them even try.

Too often, children avoid solving problems, convincing themselves in the fact that they are not able to do something or what it will be too uncomfortable. A six-year-old child is not solved to ask a group of children, whether you can play with them, and just moves away. A thirteen-year-old teenager refuses to do homework, because he does not know how to approach her, and it is afraid to seek help.

Promote the child to think about whether his behavior will solve his behavior, whether it will help to avoid it or only aggravate it. Children need to teach special skills to solve problems so that they have the tools necessary for an effective approach. With every problem, which they successfully decide, they acquire confidence and their abilities.

Encourage perseverance

Usually, children quickly refuse to make efforts, if their first attempt was not crowned with success. Whether it is about incompatinity in a basketball team or about the test not traveled from the first time, children often give up prematurely. They tend to make the spelling conclusions and call themselves "bad" or "stupid".

In addition, children try to hide their mistakes or hiding them, because they are afraid, because "errors are bad." Explain to the child that make mistakes is normal. Errors can become one of the best learning tools, but only if children are ready to take over

The ability to choose is one of the most important human qualities, and the right choice is inherently for each person.

Therefore, parents wishing to grow a full-fledged and independent person from their child is so important to teach the baby on time.

How and when to do it?

Teach a child to choose best from the very infancy. And from now on, parents need to learn to respect the choice of the child.

Let the Kroch choose one of the rattles of only a few minutes, and then he will lose interest to it and will dyate after another, since it still does not know how to focus and concentrate his attention on something one.

However, so the child still makes his choice - perhaps the first, not very conscious and not reasonable, but very important.

And when mom or dad give the baby the opportunity to choose toys, but those that he did not choose, for a while hide or move, they teach a child to choose.

Even if at the same time the baby will choose both rattles or does not take one, it will still be his solution, its choice.

JOINT PURCHASES

When son or daughter is growing a little, you need to continue to train their ability to choose - clothes, food, toys, gifts and more.

For example, going for shopping with a child, let him choose something for a predetermined amount.

In order to teach the baby to choose a reasonable, weigly and reasonably, best of all from an early age to ask him to tell you why he did such a choice.

Of course, this does not mean that as soon as children are able to lead a normal dialogue with their parents, they will already be able to explain their desires and preferences. However, to train such a skill is very useful - both for the overall development of the child and for his ability to make a choice.

Respect his choice

By the way, by providing the baby the right to choose and ask him questions, be ready to respect not only the choice of the child, but also his explanations, no matter how stupid or strange they seem to you.

Unfortunately, many parents cannot recognize the right of choice, constantly moving the "age strap of maturity." That is, some believe that their child is not capable of an independent choice until he goes to school, others say - until he graduates from school.

And there are such that even quite adult and family children refuse their right to choose, preferring to choose everything for a child.

Why do you need it?

As a result of such a "educational approach", dependent, non-feasible, unsure of themselves, who are absolutely unable to choose either friends, nor work, no wife or husband. Such people prefer not to decide anything and wait for someone for them to choose and will not determine their own life.

Unfortunately, there are also such parents who subconsciously do not want to produce a child from their one hundred percent influence.

Moreover, these adults are simply confident that they come from the best motives that solving everything for a child, bring him benefits. However, this is not the case, and not learned to choose in childhood will not be able to then find his place in life.

Of course, while the child is small, and is not yet able to make a conscious choice, parents determine what baby choose from.

But as we grow up, try more often to grant the child a chance to choose myself, telling him about each of the choice options before him, and you will see that even in the grocery store, the child 4-5 years will already choose not only sweetness.

Pseudovybor.

There is in science to choose and one "but" - many psychologists advise parents to manipulate their children, providing them with "pseudovyt".

For example, the baby does not want to dress, and Mom offers him to choose a green t-shirt to wear or blue. That is, the child is forced to choose from several equally uncommenting options.

However, this approach is suitable only if it is clear that the kid is simply capricious. If he has some informed and clear desire, having a reason, then it is impossible to hide from it and offer the child "pseudovyt".

In addition, be prepared that at some stage the son or daughter is no longer "catching up" to your trick and openly say that they do not want neither one or the other.

Therefore, if the child insists on his not because of the whims, and if there is such an opportunity, try to listen to his opinions and desires.

In addition, if he stubbornly refuses to sleep, there is, walking or played, pay attention, whether everything with the child is in order, - otherwise you risks just harm the baby.

So, learn the child to choose and justify your choice from an early age, listen to him, respect his opinion and his decisions, and in time he will be able to explain to you the causes of your actions. From the learned to choose children more often grow independent, responsible people.

How to teach a child to choose.

The ability to choose is very important in the life of every person. In essence, our whole life consists of some solid elections. Choosing the Institute, Choice of Satellite of Life, Rabats to the Soul or Just Jogurt in the store. But how to teach such an important skill, how to choose, a small child!? This is a rather difficult question, but do not regret the time to figure it out! Do not think that this skill comes itself. Not! They are not born with this, it learn. After all, almost all mistakes in life we \u200b\u200bdo because of the inability to make the right choice.

So, let's begin.

1. Try to create around the child an illusion that he decides everything in his life himself! Why illusion? Because, our kids at an early age can make not quite an adequate choice ... for example, dress a bunny costume or snowflakes in a kindergarten on a weekday. The child can choose to wash hands once a week. Brush your teeth once a month. Well, what parent will like it !? It is better to offer a child to choose one of the useful options for breakfast. Porridge oatmeal or cheesery. Offer choose what to wear. But offer options such as trousers or jeans. Thus, the child will think that he chooses himself. And you, in turn, will always be satisfied with his choice.

2. But still the child will know sooner or later on the existence of McDonalds and mini skirts. What are we going to do then? First, you do not need to order your chad! After all, the forbidden fruit is sweet. Yes, and the quarrel is not quite the right method in the upbringing. Secondly, try to explain to your baby why the harmful option is the worst. Draw in bright colors all the consequences. Tell us that the fast weight appears from fast food, and from mini-skirts extra sores. It is unlikely that the child will want such consequences.

3. Teach your child to give up one thing for the other. This will help him choose, for example, toys. It is impossible to have everything. But the baby wants absolutely everything and necessarily immediately. Help make him a choice between the two things you like. Find all the advantages and cons of these items along with the child. So you will not only avoid unnecessary financial costs, but also teach analyze.

4. An important issue for a child is and choosing friends. Small children are easily negative. Therefore, it is important to look close to their friends. Try to learn more about them. But do not need sharpness. The phrase of the type "Vasya Bad" is not suitable here! You need to justify your conclusions. Clearly show the child for what criteria you judge about people. Kids learn from examples. Visual examples of the behavior of a beloved adult.

5. The little child does not see the face between good and bad. Long read the mind of fairy tales and good books, so that he has a presentation that there is something. Talk more with your favorite creation. If you have a trust relationship from early childhood, then it will be easier to solve the questions. After all, confidence is the basis of the family!

But remember that both your experience is very important. Each in life you need to "burn"! This makes us wiser and stronger. Head to support in difficult life minutes. The wrong choice cannot be changed, but you can smooth its consequences. And get closer!

Important and personal example! Be for a child, the vertex to which you need to strive. Be consistent in your decisions and elections. Together with your children. Try to understand them. Only then will they listen to you. Learn on your life experience!