I want a guy leaving the army. How to cope with the test when your guy goes to the army
Why women do not like the army sometimes more than men? Probably the fact is that a person who goes into the army does not have so much time to worry as the girls left behind the gate of the military unit. When our close is where he is far from perfectly, there are constantly some of the bad thoughts. Each girl wants a close person to feel happy, and the military service of this joy clearly does not bring. That is why when a person leaves, women are worried and can even fall into prolonged depression. Time passes, but the feeling of emptiness does not go away. What to do when a close person goes into the army, how to survive?
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Perhaps not all women wonder: close people go to the army - how to survive? Some ladies know how to quietly release even the most native people. This does not mean that the person is not expensive for them. Just such women as if abstract from this, try not to think about the fact that a close man is not near. But not everyone manage to survive care with such ease. Some ladies seem to be easier for them to go to the army themselves than let go of a native person there. How do they convince themselves that if a man goes into the army, this is not the end of the world.
The guy went to the army: how to survive
First, you never need to show a guy who goes to serve how bad you are. Of course, completely detain emotions either will not work. But, one thing, when you once allow yourself to cry on his shoulder. And quite another, when you constantly tell him about how terrible you, as you do not want to live without him, and at the same time, we cry all the time. Remember that your friend, guy or brother is also completely not easy. He just understands that they will not change anything and tries to keep himself in his hands. And the fact that you constantly rush hysterics and worry, spoils him nerves and upsets. Of course, he understands that it is not easy for you and will also be bored. And believe me, he will be much more complicated and worse than you. Just your future military will not have so much free time as you, to cry over photos and remember every little thing. Therefore, try to keep yourself in your hands and, first of all, to support it.
But if you even find the forces to restrain when your close person will be there, how not to fall into depression after he goes to give the duty to his homeland.
So, first, in no case do not allow themselves to succumb to nostalgia. The more you will listen to your favorite songs, watch movies and walk where you often love to be, the worse it will be. Understand that, in the end, no one died and this is just one year. Of course, it is hard and bad without the support of your native person, but this is not the worst thing that could happen to you. Try to think optimistically and think about what your boyfriend (friend, brother) would not want you to destroy themselves, striking. Remember that once, back in the nineteenth century, was taken to the army for half of twenty five years. That was really scary. Women of those times could still be understood. And the main thing you do not rush and do something useful.
Of course, we all have heard about what is happening in the modern army and fantasy draws us the most terrible paintings. Never need to focus on it. In the end, if you constantly think about bad, it happens, and if you set up on a positive - everything ends well. Your native man is not a fool and will be able to navigate in the established conditions. It is not necessary to inject his capabilities and assume that he will definitely do somehow not so that the terrible consequences will entail.
Every year, the army takes place hundreds of thousands of young people and only units are really complaining about what is happening. Therefore, it is not necessary to tune in, and even more so, to customize the future servant on the fact that something happens to him.
During the service you can call from time to time, so it will not be so hard for you without a native person. The main thing, survive the first months, when, most likely, it will not be possible to communicate normally. Then, when he starts to call you, hold yourself in my hands and not. Of course, you can say that you miss, and you lack it, but you do not need to reveal hysterics again. Understand that he wants to hear his own voices, get a portion of positive and energy to have the strength to carry the service further. And if you bring one disorder and negative to him, it may happen that the guy will no longer call you. Therefore, always control your emotions and do not allow yourself to put your own feelings above strangers.
When your close person will serve, do not need to be closed from around the world and turn into anchorant. So it will be only worse. Communicate with your friends, have fun, travel, rest. You should not sacrifice yourself, arguing it by approximately the following phrases: if it cannot normally spend time, then I will refuse everything from a sense of solidarity. A normal person will never appreciate such sacrifices and considers them nonsense from your side. Therefore, we behave adequately and do not fall into extremes. You do not need to conduct calendars and settling days. So you will only focus on the fact that my native person is not there. It is best not to think about time and just live. Do our affairs, to get involved in something new, get acquainted with people. If you go this way, then this year will be much easier and easier than you seemed to. Of course, you will not be very easy for you first, but over time you will learn to treat what is happening philosophically and cease to dwell on the fact that there is no man who you love and which you do.
And when he returns - then you can cry as much as you want, because these tears will no longer hurt him and sufferings, but will only show him how much they love him and wait.
Hello, tell me how to be in such a ridiculous situation? I had the longest attitude with a guy about three to four years. First love, all things, after anyone, trying to survive this period of parting, I was looking for a replacement. For two years after parting with him, I had a couple of guys with whom I tried to conduct some kind of relationship, but for a long time they did not last, everything is not all right. Hezhoras of course were there, and not without it, but I didn't fall in love with it, I thought that my first love would last all my life. This summer, waking up at three nights from thunderstorms and shower, I became something scary, so I went in touch in order to get rid of my fear and decided to communicate with someone to distract. The first online list was a boy with whom we were familiar - "For how much - for so much," through common friends. I decided to write to him, and here I was myself a long correspondence, at the end of which he wrote to me that the next day it goes into the army. I especially did not take it seriously, in principle, what do I care about this, we almost do not know each other. But waking up in the morning I began to notice these "strange thoughts" about him. We began to communicate further, and he began to make me very much to himself with his communication, kindness of some kind of caring in his words. Of course, it's all just a dialogues, and perhaps it is stupid, but I felt that I start to fall in love with him. He eclipsed at once all my memories of the first love, and I was as easy to communicate with him, as if we knew each other for a hundred years. Well, the train takes it to serve him, he throws the phrase "Ehh Why didn't the thunder woke you up before," and I find his phone number through my friends, because in contact he is unlikely to appear. In general, I dared and wrote him all sorts of pleasures, in childbirth to be easily served and so on, and if there is a desire and time, write, call. What he answered that he would write the address to which I would write to him letters. After a while, everything happened, the first calls, the first letters, and everything is easy and everything is like without commitment. Nobody promised anyone a friend. Recently, in connection with his service (as he said), he began to very rarely appear, it became harder, the thoughts do not pass about him and it is not, he happened in contact and did not write me at all, while another girl put like huskies . I know, Brad, all these likes and so on. In general, the girls love to wind up, which fell. But it began to seem to me that he suddenly disappeared to me interest, or he likes the other or something else. In general, I do not know. Perhaps this is all because of the service. Help me please figure out, is it worth it to your feelings so serious? Should I wait for it? And in general, maybe so fall in love?
IN relationships With a very young guy, one big problem may unexpectedly emerge - this is a call to the army. If your young man still decided to serve, you want you or not, you will have to come with it. Try not to thwart the paint, in fact, everything is not as bad as you think. And to roll the hysteria to your young man, rushing to him on the neck with the words "Do not go, I will not let you go." It is possible that he himself is not delighted with this venture, but he simply does not have another way out.
Not dusty So much, because now the service life is reduced to one year, and this, you agree, not so much. Remember, because in the old days the men served for decades. Of course, during parting it will seem for you that life is over, and this year will last as a hundred years, but in fact it can fly very quickly if you find a decent lesson.
1) during absence The guy can make a lot of useful actions, thanks to which he then will be proud of you after returning. For example, tighten your studies at the university. Surely, thanks to the enthusiasm and permanent meetings with your favorite person, you often waved my hand to study, I don't really pay much attention to her. And now, when you have a bunch of free time, you can easily catch up.
Visit the library, carefully prepare To the seminar, try to get the exams with a machine gun. If you never closed the entire session on perfectly, it's time to make attempts for this. After all, over the whole year, you will have more than two chances of stand out from your student group while passing exams. Imagine how you will be pleased with your young man.
2) if you are not student, And trying to build a stunning career, forced separation on you can also have a beneficial effect. Also, thanks to the fact that you will have a lot of free minutes, you can make additional work or continue to be improved in the selected profession, visiting courses and training trainings. I think your young man will be incredibly glad if in a year you will meet him and report a new position. Pride for you will overfill it.
3) You can change your appearance. Sign up into the gym, start compliance with the correct mode, filter your diet, in general, start keeping a healthy lifestyle. Not only that extra kilograms will leave without a trace, so you can also raise yourself a mood and gain a pleasant ease of body.
If you tasted To the cardinal changes, repaint hair, make laying or fashionable hairstyle.
You are want toSo that your boyfriend does not recognize your girlfriend on arrival? Then do it all. Go shopping, update your wardrobe. You may even want to change your style. Thoughts about what admiration will be your boyfriend when he sees you, should more encourage you to such updates.
4) Find some new passion, try to learn something. Roller skating, skating, the ability to guess on the maps, sew, cook. Yes, do not you know in the life of interesting cases that you have not yet mastered? Manifest a fantasy, pick up in your memory and remember, maybe you had some kind of dream or goal, but for some reason you forgot about it? It's time to return to this and try to achieve something on the field you are interested in.
Suffer this year without hugs a loved one not so easy, After all, it would be no longer parted more than a week. But what is a good time check, because if your feelings are sincere and real, they will only get fixed after such a test. It is possible that after arriving from, your young man wants to translate your relationship to a new level in gratitude to you for the fact that you managed to wait.
There are phone numbers in the army, and the Internet, so you can still virtually maintain communication with each other, exchange SMS messages that can be made to your relationship for a long time forgotten romance. After your favorite returns to the homeland, you will experience a huge feeling of pride, which is a girl not a simple guy, but a real soldier.
The army is not only a debt that guys give birth, but also a terrible beast, carrying the separation of loving hearts. The readers shared their stories about how this beast changed their lives.
"If you like - wait"
Of course, to spend the whole year in separation with your loved one - it is incredibly hard. And yet there are many evidence that love is able to suffer any obstacles.
Alina, 26 years old:
"We were to the army together a year and a half, and I waited two more years. He served in Moscow, from our city is 700 kilometers. I went to him, the date went with a bang, a solid romance. He came, and since then we do not part, the family is already. Sorry, of course, two years of separation: to miss, call, live without sex ... But it was a check of our love, and she was successful. "
Svetlana, 23 years:
"I waited for my boyfriend a year, waited. He served 400 kilometers from the house, I traveled to him as often, as we turned out, writing letters. Six months ago was "demob", now we think about the wedding. Girls, wait for your guys, they really need your support and love, they will return to you real, insanely loving men. When I went to my beloved, I saw those guys who had only recently thrown girls about whom friends had forgotten. They are insanely hard. And my boyfriend was constantly waiting for the letter, called when he could. I love him very much! ".
"The army destroyed everything"
Unfortunately, not always a long wait has a happy end. Life is not a film with a positive final, where the heroes are hugging and crying. Often there are cases when the army is capable of separating two loving hearts.
Karina, 21 years:
"We met with a guy three more than a year. Nine months I waited for him from the army: I went every weekend, - Before, serves next to the house. Dreamed that my beloved sooner would be returned. And he once called and said that he was blown away. I'm shocked. After all, I still love! It is better not to go to the army, - she changes people ... "
Nadezhda, 24 years:
"Met five years. Such love was - just like in a fairy tale. The year of the army, followed by two weeks of stretched relationships. As a result, I hear in an unpleasant and gross form that they do not like me, I don't even want to touch me, someone else's. I'm not married, so it's enough for him to take my time. It seemed to try to love, did not work. Ignore is hard, the attitude towards me is disgusting. There is no teal who I loved. And I, like a fool, I hope that he will come back. Always ready to wait, no pride, nor dignity ... Girls, do not let them in this army! Wait not hard! But it is disappointed ... it's very painful. "
"The army gave us both to understand what we are created for each other!"
Alena, 23 years:
"I met a boyfriend for three years, then we talked about two years as friends, and I always believed more than the best friend, he loved me. Agenda came from the military office, took into the army. But this circumstance did not prevent me from riding it every weekend. I terribly lacked him, but I did not hurry to return to the status of his girl ... he got tortured with me. Somehow he came to the weekend home, and I got sick, lying down the temperature. All the time he did not go away from me, cared, she saw tea ... And I realized that I would be very sorry if I would lose it all. We reunited, I am very glad! ".
Oksana, 29 years old:
"It all started not very smoothly, but the army changed everything. My lovemen got acquainted in the south, we communicated at a distance, and then he came to me. Everything was so beautiful, we were so good! The year lived in a civil marriage, followed by a quarrel. As a result, he said that he didn't love me and what was not yet on the moment (he was 20 years old at that time, and I was 23). After some time, he was taken to the army. He said - do not wait, you will find yourself better! And I knew that I would not find it so much I love him. I wrote to him letters, which at first remained unanswered, but then he was seriously ill, and I rushed to him for a thousand kilometers. After this incident, he said that I understood how much I mean for him, but he did not notice. After his return, we began to live together again, and then we had a daughter. The army gave us both to understand what we were created for each other! ".
These examples are designed to simultaneously inspire and warn those girls who are only preparing for a teenage waiting for a loved one. In addition, even the most hopeless and sad situation can be viewed on the other hand. After all, instead of sig, you can spend this time with benefit! We prepared for you several tips:
- tighten your studies or start building a career;
- improve your appearance;
- update your wardrobe;
- sign up for educational courses;
- become a volunteer;
- get a blog;
- take advantage of free travel time;
- learn to prepare;
- start learning a foreign language.
I will begin, perhaps, from the most important thing. For their orientation - I bisexual. I like both girls and guys. Some serious experience in relations with no other things ... to one moment.
About three or four weeks ago I met a network with a guy to whom it was 21 years old.
On something serious, in general, I did not expect .. But with each day of communication in the network - we still liked each other. After a week of communication in the network, we decided to meet ... and the initiative was mutual - no one forced anyone.
It was the first person with whom I truly wanted to meet. And the goal of the meeting was not to satisfy lust. We just wanted to see each other live, even more to meet. And this meeting happened. I was wildly worried and worried, but ... she passed perfectly. And after another 3 more meeting occurred (in total, we met 4 times), which were also perfect.
After each meeting, we were increasingly understood how much common between us .. We had a lot of similar in tastes, preferences, interest .. Yes, just looks for life. And everything is fine, but ...
Even after the first meeting, he warned and warned me that on July 5, he goes to the army .. then it seemed to me that there were still ahead of the weeks that we promised to spend together ... and happened. All 4 meetings - we walked in the parks and forests, we were good together, we communicated a lot ... it came even to the "hug".
I felt truly necessary ...
And now, today - July 7, exactly 2 days as he is in the army. These two days are just the worst in my life .. I do not find myself places.
Many things are reminded of him ... Even one mention of places in the news, where we walked - it is already immediately associated with him ... It even comes to the tears who constantly ... I'm not enough of it, it's awful terrible lonely...
I just don't know what to do ...
At the time of the last meeting (which was July 4, literally the day before) - I promised that I would wait for him from the army, and after we continue our "friendship" ... and I still am going to wait for it, but ... I am very hard . It's hard not that I want someone else, but in the sense that I miss him ..
How can I cope with this? How to survive this year? ...
The guy went to the army - I feel bad without him