Read first: “Children and money. Money as a gift. Is it good or bad? Should I give my child pocket money?
Should I give my child pocket money? And if so, how much and at what age? Do it regularly and in a fixed amount or on a case-by-case basis? The Village asked these questions to a psychologist who specializes in child education.
Julia Guseva
psychologist, expert of the Montessori.Children community
First you need to figure out for what purpose you want to give the child money. So that he learns to manage them wisely? As a reward for good behavior or household chores? So that the child does not feel inferior to others? Or because you remember how sad you yourself were when you were a child without pocket money? The answers to these questions will help you make a decision.
First, I'll tell you how not to do it. It is definitely not necessary to give pocket money in the form of wages for doing household chores, and even more so for homework. In this case, money becomes paramount, and the parent begins to control the child - for example, deprives him of another "pay" if he has not completed some task. At the same time, the child will inevitably have negative emotions towards the parents. At the same time, he will not learn how to do household chores properly, efficiently. On the contrary, everything will be done carelessly, only in order to get money as soon as possible.
At what age should you start giving your child money? A preschooler, starting from about four or five years old, may have a piggy bank - a box where adults throw off a trifle that is lying around in their pockets. In such a piggy bank, for example, you can collect money for a desired toy, the purchase of which parents want to postpone for one reason or another. But we must remember that the preschooler does not yet have the opportunity to spend money on his own. And, besides, it is difficult for him to estimate the cost of the desired thing and the time, how much he will have to save up for it.
But it’s good for a younger student to have a small amount of money for personal expenses. Entering school, the child finds himself in a new social environment with new rules. If in kindergarten money was not needed, then in the school cafeteria they are needed. And even if food is not sold at school for cash, but is given out on coupons, it will still be good if at the beginning of the week the student receives some amount from his parents. With this money, he can buy a chocolate bar or put them in a piggy bank.
Watch how your child spends money. Does he spend the whole amount on Monday or evenly throughout the week? Does he buy something exactly when there is a need? Spends pocket money or saves it?
Try not to teach your child if he spends money not quite the way you think is right. After all, the youngest member of the family needs to get their own experience. And it will be better if he gets this experience in childhood with small amounts. For example, having spent all the money on the first day of receiving it, he will realize that he will not be able to buy anything for the rest of the week.
As for a teenager, he simply needs to have pocket money. If for a younger student money is an opportunity to buy something, then for a teenager it is an opportunity to spend time with friends.
I always pay attention to how children behave in the school cafeteria. Younger students most often order a full lunch. They carefully read the menu, calculate how much money they need, and then with pleasure, very thoroughly make an order and eat. They care about the fact that they, as adults, choose their own food and pay for it themselves. By the way, younger students often eat alone. Teenagers, on the other hand, come running in flocks - they quickly buy a pie and a glass of tea, sit down in a group, moving a couple of tables. It is important for them to communicate, and food becomes a means. But alas, without money in this case, the teenager feels uncomfortable.
If you decide to give your teen a certain amount weekly (or monthly), be consistent. Do not punish him with deprivation of pocket money. This will only lead to the fact that in order to get them, the teenager will begin to hide and lie to you, trying to avoid punishment.
Pocket money is given to the child by parents for small joys. This is the first and very important experience of budget planning.
Illustration: Nastya Grigorieva
Hi all! Friends, when is the best time to learn something? Probably, you will agree that everything needs to be done on time. And it is better to study in advance, so that when the time comes and the need arises, you can show your knowledge and skills in practice. And that's the best thing about money. You need to learn how to properly manage them not when the child grows up and receives his first salary, but in childhood, so that he knows exactly what and how to spend hard-earned money. And this is exactly what we will talk about today: is it necessary to give pocket money to children and how much.
It is necessary to teach to understand the value of both things and money in several stages:
- To show that every thing is worth something is a primary task, which is not easy to cope with for parents of very young peanuts, and for those who have begun to raise their schoolchildren. What will help with this?
I'll show you with an example. Play the situation: agree that when buying a new toy, the baby should give 2 old toys. In the future, the child will be able to return the old toy if he really needs it for 2 others. And say what you buy for those toys that you took. Let the baby understand that the purchase is a compensation for the “lost”. If the baby is older, then everything is simple, pay attention to the price tags, tell us about the money, and why they are found in the wallet, and what you have to work to earn them.
- When the word "buy" is mastered, it's time to move on to the second stage, namely, to independently manage the pennies.
How to do it? Start giving your baby pennies, telling and showing at the same time what they can be spent on. For example, you can buy colored pencils or a set of balloons, or 2 things at once: crayons and a bow. What will the little one choose? Ask him why this is? Show how you think by choosing bows or pencils.
- Another stage is to teach you to wait, to compromise or negotiate in order to get what you want.
What am I talking about? Look, you have offered goods for which the baby can spend his pocket money. But what if what he wants to buy is more expensive, and he does not yet have the required amount? Show him that the situation is not hopeless and there are at least 3 ways out:
- Accumulate;
- Buy cheaper similar item;
- Arrange with you so that you give him money now for a few days, but then do not demand it.
Tell me how to proceed for each item. And let the baby decide what to do, and you help him in this by supporting any of his decisions! If the baby has a financial goal, he must know how to strive for it correctly and what means are in his arsenal.
And I emphasize once again that the money is issued at your discretion, once a day, once a month or a week. But these funds are for the expenses of a small one at HIS discretion! Spending on trifles? Yes, okay! It's his money, let him spend it on whatever he wants. Don't count his expenses! But help (without notations and moralizing) him to calculate them himself and think about whether he is satisfied with his acquisitions. This will be the basis for teaching the crumbs to plan their budget.
With school age children
It's even easier here. The main task of the parent is to determine the day and amount of pocket money. And just give them without being attached to the result. Many parents give money with a caveat: this is for something useful, you can spend it on whatever you want, but something useful. They give and are afraid at the same time that he will “lower” them. But it is in your interest to write off this money at a loss at once, and hope that the child will buy not something prudent, but something stupid.
The child should spend this money on a whim, on something unnecessary, on something stupid, on something harmful for gaining experience. And do not ask how he spent the money, do not interfere at all, do not break the thin, thin thread - the idea of \u200b\u200bthe efficiency of spending money that develops in the child's head. The child begins to think like an adult.
Thus, if you could not prepare him for all the temptations, so that stupid things were not valuable to him, then at this stage the child will have to gain experience himself. And you will have to finance this experience. The less you interfere, you do not violate his thoughts, the faster he will learn and, perhaps, he will come to you to share his thoughts and learn something from you.
If, however, to limit, put pressure on the feeling of guilt, then there will be no sense, on the contrary, the child will not be able to analyze the mistake, he will never understand whether it is stupidity or not, but will only think what his mother will say.
The experience that you could not give him, he must pass by himself. If you said that smoking is bad, but he did not understand, that is, you could not convey the danger to the child, then you can buy Prudent for him yourself.
What if the kid is wasting money?
By the way, pocket money is not what you pay for school lunches or mugs. These are the finances that the little one will spend on his “I want”. But what if he does not study, and from year to year spends everything he has on his empty Wishlist? Themselves carefully, unobtrusively, set a tempting goal for your child: new expensive paints, a prefix, a phone, cool crosses. By the way, unobtrusively, it means without pressure and subsequent control!
It is a completely different matter if the baby deliberately takes from the money that you have allocated for lunch or whatever else is needed. How to be? Let him realize that he took your funds, spent not his own, but someone else's. Offer him a way out: to give from his hard-earned money, or to do without it at all (not without lunch, of course, but without a circle or a purchase you have planned). And by the way, if this question affects another person, for example, a teacher, a little friend, etc., let him justify himself to him, blush and puff. But he will understand and once and for all he will kill on his own nose what such behavior leads to.
Another point that deserves attention. If you are able to give sufficient amounts to your little one, tell (without intimidation) that there is a danger that he may be robbed. What should he do? Once again, do not brag, do not dust bills unnecessarily. Safe to use means protecting yourself and your money from unnecessary spending and theft.
Share what exactly you are doing so that your little ones are aware of this issue.
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It is important to know about the principles of proper handling of money from childhood. Do not deprive the child of pocket money, control his expenses and pay for help around the house. We suggest that you familiarize yourself with these and other mistakes in the financial upbringing of a child in detail.
1. Ban on talking about money
Many parents prefer not to devote their children to the financial affairs of the family. Usually, a conversation about planning a monthly budget takes place without their presence. As a result, the younger generation may have a misconception about the purpose of money, and at a more mature age, difficulties will arise with the disposal of their own funds. Remember that discussing the family budget is a completely normal process that should not be hidden from the child. It helps to understand how to spend money, thereby forming financial literacy.
2. Lack of pocket money
Having their own money allows children to feel independent. Starting around age 6, try giving your child small amounts weekly or monthly that they can use as they see fit. With age, he will begin to spend this money wisely - pay for the Internet or buy gifts in honor of any holiday.
We read on the topic:Children and pocket money. How to teach a child to treat money correctly -
3. Constant control
Do not forbid the child to buy something with pocket money or scold him for another unnecessary waste. Of course, you want to teach him how to properly handle finances, guided only by good intentions. However, it turns out that the allocated funds belong to your children only formally. Such a rigid approach gives rise to a feeling of insecurity - the child is constantly afraid of making a mistake and angering his parents. Get ready for the fact that initially attempts to spend money on your own will be erroneous. Only in this way valuable experience is accumulated and desires and possibilities gradually begin to be measured.
4. Complete lack of control
It is important not to go to extremes, trying to take part in the financial education of the student. He must be sure that he has a reliable support in the person of his parents, who will give wise advice and support. Be sure to voice the basic rules for handling money: take only small amounts with you, do not tell your friends about your “wealth”, avoid gambling and disputes. Give advice on how to quickly collect the necessary amount for the purchase of a coveted toy.
5. Cash reward for achievements
It is not recommended to use money as an incentive - this applies to both good grades and exemplary behavior. A child goes to school not to earn money, but seeks to acquire the knowledge and experience necessary in later life. This is practically the only serious task of a student throughout the entire period of stay in a secondary educational institution, so learn to instill a craving for knowledge in some other way. In extreme cases, let useful things be a gift for a report card with excellent marks - a computer or a sightseeing trip to another city.
6. Paying for home help
Constantly handing over money for a carefully cleaned room or timely watered flowers is not the best solution. Children will quickly get used to this way of “earning money” and will refuse to do something for free in the future. But the mother does not receive a surcharge for the cooked dinner, and the father repairs the broken vacuum cleaner for free. Teach your child the idea that all family members should equally take care of the house and create comfort in it. It is better to provide a teenager with intangible privileges for buying groceries or helping raise a younger brother.
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7. Measuring everything with money
It is necessary to teach the child to distribute values correctly, without neglecting spiritual education. Of course, a financially successful person has a lot of advantages, but security does not at all imply the presence of limitless opportunities. It is worth explaining to children that the importance of a person is not measured at all by his well-being. Books, illustrations or films, the main theme of which is love, friendship, kindness and mutual assistance, will help to form the right attitude towards intangible values.
8. Withdrawal of earnings
Often teenagers want to earn some extra money during the summer holidays. No need to take away their entire salary to replenish the family budget. Instead, ask for a meal for the whole family, or offer to part-pay for a shared movie trip. At the same time, part of the funds should still remain with the teenager for personal needs. It will be useful to inform him about the possibility of capital accumulation - for example, a tenth of the money earned can be set aside every month in a savings account.
We also read: How and why should children be encouraged? Should money be used as a reward? How not to praise a child -
9. Salary career choice
There are many professions that do not involve career growth and solid earnings. A teenager has the right to choose a specialty he likes and realize himself in a field close to him. You may not like his choice, but you should respect him. Offer to discuss his plans for the next few years. Ask where he sees himself after graduation, and ask if he will be completely satisfied with life if he gets the job he wants. The most convincing argument will be the example of parents. Share with the children your personal experience of choosing a profession, climbing the career ladder, and your own achievements.
10. Money manipulation
The main purpose of issuing pocket money is to lay the foundations of financial literacy. With their help, the child feels independence and responsibility for his own actions. Make the process of receiving funds transparent and obvious. It is recommended to establish a clear and consistent scheme for the payment of a certain amount, which should in no way affect the relationship between parents and children. It is worth depriving pocket funds only for serious misconduct.
12 rules for issuing pocket money to children (personal experience). Plus video consultations of specialists -
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Pocket money: why and when to give it to children?
Should parents give their children pocket money? When to start doing this and how much can we talk about? Financial consultant Elena Eidelman answers these very difficult questions in the Rosina Mother program:
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As children grow older, love and care alone are no longer enough ... They begin to demand more material evidence of your disposition. Most of the time it's about money. Parents have to decide an incredibly difficult question: to give or not to give? Having solved this question, another one arises: if you give, how much? Then - one more: and if you give, then how to control the child's expenses, and is it worth doing it at all? Is it worth giving this money as a reward for something (homework, good grades, etc.) or just like that? The solution of these problems is not easy for each parent, but at the same time, everyone must solve this issue for himself, because there are no generally accepted norms. Let's hear what the statistics say about this...
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Should children be given money?
Most parents are in favor.
About 95% of respondents believe that children need personal funds. At the same time, according to parents, the optimal age for receiving pocket money is over 10 years old.
About 26% are of the opinion that children can manage their own money from the age of 7, but they also believe that 10 years is the optimal age for managing their finances.
And only 7.4% of parents believe that at the age of 10, a child does not need money at all.
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Practice shows that a child begins to have money much earlier than 10 years old - as soon as he goes to school, he constantly needs to buy something or pay for something. As a rule, at first it is target money - for lunches, for travel, for a bun, etc.
Why does a child need pocket money?
The primary task of pocket money for a child is to teach him how to properly manage his finances. Only if he has his own funds, the child will be able to learn a healthy attitude towards them, master or adopt the model of successful money management, learn about the true value of personal funds and the possibilities of their correct and rational use.
If given, how much?
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On average, parents are willing to provide their children at the age of 10 with a monthly amount equivalent to 30 US dollars.
About 18% of adults do not dare to provide such a large amount and prefer an amount that is half the above.
Experts say that the amount of monthly pocket money will directly depend on the monthly income of the parents, directly on the age of the child, as well as on how mature the child is in making decisions, in which country the family lives (some countries determine the amount of pocket money at the legislative level), the relationship of the child with the parents and the amount allocated to the child's peers.
That said, even if the family doesn't have the ability to give the child $15 or $30, it's important to give him at least as much as you can afford for personal use. Owning your own money will allow the child to become more independent and look at life from a different angle.
Why give money?
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About 26% of the parents surveyed are sure that they should give money only when their children help around the house. And 72% of adults are of the opinion that a child should not be responsible for cleaning the house in order to get pocket money.
Psychologists agree with the majority and believe that the main compensation for the work done around the house should be the joy of parents, and not money. The child must be aware that he has made his own contribution to the maintenance of his family and care for her.
Sometimes the initiative of parents to act as the first employers of the child is welcome, but there must be clear agreements. It is also necessary to immediately stipulate the moment that money should go to the child only for the creative use of his abilities or for one-time work that is not his daily duty.
By doing this, you will be able to form the right attitude towards money in your child. It is important that the child treats them not as an end, but as a means.
Dear readers! Do you already have valuable experience in solving this problem? How do you feel about pocket money for children? How much and for what do you pay your child?
Whether to encourage a child for fives with money? How to control his expenses? Ekaterina Ushakova, a family psychologist from Mitin, spoke about this.
1. At what age can a child be given money?
Not earlier than from the age of 12, from about the fifth or sixth grade. At this age, it is already possible to convey information about how to properly manage money.
Schools have breakfasts, parents pay for them, but not all children love them and ask for money to buy pizza or chocolates. If this is encouraged, we will accustom the child to unhealthy food. For example, I myself have three children - 6, 12 and 14 years old. I don’t give them money for school, they don’t have pocket money. We have a tradition that a child asks for money for something specific. So I can understand what they want and what they spend it on.
2. How to ensure that money is spent correctly?
If we give pocket money - for example, 500 rubles a week - we must clearly define what can be bought with it. But many teenagers can still spend it, for example, on games on the Internet. The main thing in controlling a child is a trusting relationship. Even if he bought something harmful, let him be honest about it. Do not scold him, but try to agree: "let's drink soda once a month." Or, for example, if the child bought chips, invite him to read the composition and hint that the stomach is unlikely to withstand such food for a long time. That is, you seem to offer, but do not insist. The child must bring this information to mind. And if you constantly scold a teenager or teach with long lectures, he will simply begin to dissemble.
3. Do boys and girls have a different attitude towards money?
In the modern world, perhaps, there are no differences. Although it is commonly believed that girls are more thrifty, but often girls are very uneconomical, and boys, on the contrary, are thrifty. Girls have very impulsive purchases - "I want, give." Boys want less, girls want everything.
4. Should the child be rewarded for good grades?
Many parents are very busy now, they do not have time to take care of their children, and they motivate them with a ruble, pay off them. I cannot blame them, but as a mother and as a psychologist I do not support such a position, this is wrong. Just like household chores: taking out the trash or washing the dishes does not need to be paid. Otherwise, the child will begin to evaluate everything. You can motivate to study in other ways, for example, joint trips, games, a new designer, and so on.
5. Is it necessary to discuss the family budget with a child?
Children understand that we earn, but most of them do not understand that there are expenses. We need to talk not about income, but about expenses. The child forgets that parents pay for the apartment, school, breakfast, food, clothes. From the age of 12-13, teenagers have growing needs, and you need to learn how to discuss this. For example, a child wants a phone that costs 30 thousand, and your salary is 50 thousand. He thinks this is a very affordable purchase, because there are still 20 thousand left, and that's enough for everything. It is necessary to calculate the costs together so that he understands how much the costs actually are. Explain that when large purchases are made - sofas, cars, televisions - we save money for this, we save.