Ten rules of persuasion. Rules for persuading an interlocutor Ways of persuading an interlocutor

28.09.2019

Introduction

People's opinions are always based on something. Each person in his life at least once experienced the propaganda or educational influence of others. Indeed, everywhere people are trying to convince of something: in politics, in shops, in the family, in court. In this regard, social psychologists are trying to understand what makes a message effective? What factors make a person change his mind?

Few people are fortunate enough to have the gift of persuasion, most of them are deprived of it. Only a few naturally gifted people simply know how to capture the attention of an audience, win over the indecisive and dissuade the opposition. It's not only the ease with which they use personal charm and eloquence to get others to do what they want that's captivating, but the zeal with which people get it done.

However, often people with the gift of persuasion are often unable to recognize their wonderful gift or pass it on to others.

This paper outlines possible tactics of persuasion, methods of argumentation, shows the possibility of defending one's position, as well as the ability to convince opponents and listeners, bring weighty arguments in favor of one's statements and put forward counterarguments against opponents.

Rules of Persuasion

Psychological influence on people is the most important practical direction in modern psychological science, since it penetrates the secrets of human relationships and equips them with the basics of managing people. The effectiveness of interpersonal communication, as practice shows, largely depends on the perfection of the ability of interlocutors to skillfully use various types of psychological influence. The main types of psychological influence in interpersonal communication include: persuasion, suggestion, psychological infection, imitation, and some others. Let us dwell on only one most important form - persuasion.

Persuasion is an influence on the interlocutor in order to change his attitude towards something when he holds a different opinion. It is important that this change in attitude should also change the person's actions. The perfection of the persuasive effect is manifested in the fact that the opponent does not so much do what is recommended to him as he wants to do it. It follows from this that the purpose of persuasion is to transform one's own desire into the desire of the person being persuaded. However, in order for the interlocutor to want to do what you want, you must first reach an understanding with him, without which it will be impossible to persuade him to your point of view. To create a benevolent atmosphere of communication, it is important that everything that is said sound convincing. The speaker achieves the greatest persuasiveness if he observes a number of rules.

1. The order of the arguments presented affects their persuasiveness. The most convincing order of arguments is: strong - medium - one strongest. It follows from this rule that it is better not to use weak arguments: having identified them in the process of preparation, do not use them for persuasion. They will do harm, not good. Indeed, the interlocutor pays more attention to the weaknesses in your arguments. Therefore, it is important not to make a mistake. It is not the number of arguments that decides the outcome of the case, but their reliability. One very important circumstance should be noted. The same argument for different people can be both strong and weak. Therefore, the strength (weakness) of the arguments must be determined from the point of view of the interlocutor.
2. To get a positive decision on an important issue for you, put it in third place, giving it two short, simple questions for the interlocutor, to which he will easily answer “yes”. This rule has existed for more than two thousand years, it has been tested by hundreds of generations of educated people. It is alive because it is true. And only relatively recently were found out the deep - physiological reasons that explain the effectiveness of this technique. It has been established that when a person says or hears “no”, the hormones of norepinephrine enter his bloodstream, setting him up to fight. Conversely, the word "yes" leads to the release of "pleasure hormones" - endorphins. Having received two portions of “hormones of pleasure”, the interlocutor relaxes, tunes in benevolently, it is psychologically easier for him to say “yes” than “no”. One portion of endorphins is not always enough to overcome the bad mood in which the interlocutor may be. In addition, it is impossible for a person to instantly change from one mood to another; one must give him more time and more “pleasure hormones” to ensure this process. Preliminary questions should be short so as not to tire the interlocutor, not to take up a lot of his time.
3. The persuasiveness of arguments largely depends on the image and status of the persuasive. It's one thing when an authoritative, respected person speaks, it's another when it's insignificant, not taken seriously. A high official or social position, outstanding success in some area, education, recognition of others, high personal qualities raise the status and image of a person, and with them the weight of his arguments. In order to apply rule three, one should keep in mind some facts and circumstances that indicate differences in the perception of status depending on the situation. For example, sociological surveys conducted on the eve of the elections of the deputy corps showed that voters give preference to men over women; middle age, not young and old. On the contrary, in court hearings in divorce cases, the status of a woman is generally perceived by judges as higher (due to the prevailing stereotype that such vices as drunkenness, assault, infidelity, selfishness are more inherent in husbands).
4. Do not belittle the status and image of the interlocutor. Any manifestation of disrespect, disregard for the interlocutor is an attack on his status and causes a negative reaction. Pointing out the mistake of the interlocutor or his wrongness negatively affects the image of the criticized.
5. Do not drive yourself into a corner, do not lower your status. Insecure behavior belittles a person and is associated with his low status. Apologies without proper reasons, showing signs of insecurity should be avoided. Here are some typical examples of a “suicidal” start of a conversation: “Excuse me, did I interrupt?”, “Please, if you have time to listen to me.”
6. We are condescending to the arguments of a pleasant interlocutor, and with prejudice to the arguments of an unpleasant interlocutor. The mechanism of action of this rule is the same as the rule of the "third place": a pleasant interlocutor stimulates the production of "hormones of pleasure" and unwillingness to enter into a confrontation. Unpleasant - vice versa. A pleasant impression, as you know, is created by many circumstances: appearance, respectful attitude, competent speech, pleasant manners.
7. Wanting to convince the interlocutor, start not with the moments that separate you, but with what you agree with him. Let it be even secondary circumstances in the statement of the interlocutor. Everyone listens with great pleasure to what he agrees with and what does not contradict his views. Conversely, we get annoyed when what we hear contradicts our opinion. The first makes the speaker a pleasant interlocutor, the second - unpleasant.
8. Be a good listener. Attentive listening is the key to persuasiveness. You will never convince if you do not understand the train of thought of the interlocutor. In addition, an attentive listener wins over the interlocutor.
9. Avoid conflict. Conflictogens are words or actions (inaction) that can lead to conflict: rudeness, threats, ridicule, peremptoryness, etc. Usually they do not go unnoticed, and the conversation turns into an altercation.
10. Watch facial expressions, gestures and postures - yours and the interlocutor. A person who knows the language of gestures and postures “reads” the interlocutor, receiving additional information. At the same time, we are often unconvincing if our gestures and postures do not match the spoken words. Knowing the features of non-verbal communication allows you to make speech more convincing.
11. Show that what you offer satisfies some of the needs of the interlocutor. A person needs to satisfy many needs: the need for security, confidence in the future, the need to belong to some kind of community, the need for respect, the need for self-realization, the need to receive positive emotions, etc. And all this serves as a source for finding strong arguments.
12. Show empathy. Empathy is the ability to comprehend the emotional state of another person in the form of empathy. Empathy helps to better understand the interlocutor, to imagine the course of his thoughts, as they say, "get into his shoes." Without showing empathy, it is impossible to fulfill the first rule. Indeed, we must evaluate the strength of arguments from the point of view of the interlocutor, that is, we must put ourselves in his place. The same applies to the second rule - you need to anticipate the reaction of the person being convinced to your words, that is, again, show empathy for him. Similarly, in order to use image and status in the process of persuasion, one must evaluate one's status and image from the point of view of the interlocutor. Empathy is also necessary to fulfill the conflict rule.

Various arguments, judgments, arguments have a direct impact on the human brain: its mind and perception. However, the degree of impact of arguments, and equally, counterarguments on a person is different and depends on the validity of the arguments. They are strong, weak, or completely untenable. Their persuasiveness is also affected by the sequence of their presentation. The most convincing sequence of arguments is the following: strong argument - medium - strongest / strongest. In this article, we will consider in detail all types of arguments, as well as the basic laws and rules that help to convince the interlocutor.

Argument types

Types of arguments according to the strength of the impact on the human mind:

1) Strong arguments- substantiated, evidence-supported arguments that cannot be criticized, challenged, ignored. Such arguments are determined by the following criteria:

Judgments based on proven, related facts;
existing and actually enforceable laws and other regulatory legal acts to be enforced;
expert assessments and conclusions;
conclusions confirmed by experimental experiments and tests;
professional statistics;
testimonies of participants in the events;
citing books, articles, essays, public statements by scientists and experts in the field.

2) Weak arguments- unsubstantiated, unsubstantiated, dubious arguments. These include:

Judgments based on several unrelated facts;
illogical formulations and arguments (alogism is a deliberate violation of logical connections. It is widely used in poetry, as well as in humorous works: “A village was driving past a peasant. Suddenly, a gate barks from the gateway”);
quoting unfamiliar or unfamiliar experts and specialists;
bringing analogies and not exemplary examples;
personal justifications based on motives, desires, subject to circumstances;
biased statements, judgments, digressions;
conclusions, evidence, theories put forward on the basis of assumptions, conjectures, suspicions, impressions;
conclusions based on insufficient information, such as statistical data.

3) Invalid arguments- these are arguments by which you can expose and put in a bad light the opponent who applied them. These include:

Conclusions based on distorted facts presented in a false light;
reference to unreliable, dubious sources;
unenforceable decisions;
fiction, suspicion, assumption, fiction;
judgments calculated on error, prejudice and illiteracy;
conclusions based on forged documents;
advance promises and assurances;
perjury and false guarantees;
deceit and distortion of spoken facts.

Rules to help convince the interlocutor

So, in order to convince the interlocutor that you are right, you must adhere to the following rules:

1) When you give your interlocutor your arguments, make sure that you both understand them in the same way;

2) Do not persist in your judgment if it is categorically rejected by the opponent;

3) Do not refute the strong arguments of the opponent, on the contrary, show him that you understand them correctly, interpret and do not diminish their significance;

4) Give your new arguments that have no connection with the previous statements of the opponent, only after answering all his arguments;

5) Consider the type of temperament of the interlocutor, and, based on it, set the pace of your argument;

6) Remember that the clear superiority of the opponent in the dispute causes a feeling of resentment, therefore, excessive persuasiveness always breeds confrontation;

7) Apply a couple of strong arguments, and if they had an effect on the opponent, be satisfied with this and end the argument.

Psychological rules of persuasion and laws of argumentation

The ability to convince an interlocutor requires knowledge of certain rules and laws that will significantly increase your chances of convincing an interlocutor:

1) The law of implementation (embedding)- you seem to be introducing your arguments into the logical chain of reasoning of your opponent, without contradicting his logic and without expressing your arguments in a parallel plane with the arguments of your opponent.

2) The law of the common language of thought- if you really want to be heard by your interlocutor, speak the same language with him, using his information and representational systems.

3) The Law of Argument Minimization- Human perception is limited. The maximum person can learn 5-7 arguments at a time, so if you really want to convince the interlocutor, reduce the number of your arguments to 3-4.

4) The law of objectivity and evidence- Apply only those arguments that are used by your opponent. Do not get confused by facts, opinions and other evidence.

5) The law of demonstration of equality and respect Show respect for your interlocutor and his opinion. A "friend" is more easily convinced than an "enemy".

7) The Law of Reframing- do not discard the interlocutor's arguments, recognize their relevance, deliberately exaggerate their significance and strength. Exaggerate the value of your losses in case of accepting the opinion of the interlocutor, and vice versa, reduce the value of the benefits expected by the interlocutor.

8) The law of gradualness- do not set yourself the goal of convincing the interlocutor as quickly as possible, take gradual and consistent steps in this direction.

9) Feedback Law– take personal responsibility for misunderstanding and misinterpretation of your arguments by your opponent. In the process of conducting a discussion, always make an assessment of the emotional state of the interlocutor, and immediately give feedback if any misunderstandings arise.

10) The Law of Ethics- do not allow yourself aggressive, arrogant behavior during the discussion, do not hurt the opponent "for the living".

Classic rules of persuasion

Great philosophers and scientists, in their vast legacy, have also left us rules on how to convince an interlocutor:

1) Homer's Rule says that the persuasiveness of your arguments directly depends on their order. The best order for persuasion is the following order of presentation of arguments: strong - medium - one strongest. Do not use weak arguments, with their help you will not convince the interlocutor, but will only harm your entire argument. Remember that the strength/weakness of an argument is determined not by the person who brings it up, but by the one who makes the decision. That is, arguments that seem strong to you will not necessarily seem so to your opponent, so be as objective as possible when choosing evidence.

2) Rule of Socrates is that if you want a positive answer on an important question for you, put it third in line, preceded by two easy-to-understand interlocutor and short questions to which he will easily give you a positive answer. Thus, you prepare the ground by setting up your interlocutor in a positive way, and at the moment when you ask the third important question for you, he is psychologically set to answer you “yes”.

3) Pascal's rule urges us not to “finish off the enemy”, driving him into a corner with his arguments. Give him a chance to "save face" and preserve his self-esteem. Believe me, the opportunity you give your interlocutor to “surrender” with dignity will disarm him.

Non-verbal signals as a means to convince the interlocutor that you are right

Non-verbal cues are an auxiliary tool that helps to increase the effectiveness of communication and the level of understanding of the interlocutors to each other. If you want to learn how to convince the interlocutor, then it is absolutely necessary for you to study the body language in order to understand the position of the interlocutor, his degree of involvement in the discussion, his attitude to your arguments, as well as to identify misunderstandings in a timely manner, and be able to bypass "sharp corners".

Below, we will give you a number of signs and distinctive features of sign language that will allow you to "read" the interlocutor, and use this information in order to convince the interlocutor that you are right:

1) Interest, involvement of the interlocutor. The main sign of the partner's interest and involvement in the conversation is manifested in the turn of his body in your direction, the inclination of the head and torso towards you. The more he turns your side and tilts, the higher his interest in the conversation, and, accordingly, vice versa:

Increased attention to the interlocutor: inclination of the head and upper body towards the interlocutor, face turned towards the interlocutor and direct gaze with a straight head, increased speed of movement, brisk landing on the edge of a chair/sofa, sudden cessation of rhythmic movements of the arms, feet or legs, active and open gesticulation of the arms and hands, accelerating speech;

Solidarity with the interlocutor, trust, respect, lack of criticism: the head is relaxed, it can be slightly thrown back or tilted to the side, a wide, relaxed posture, planting legs on the leg, a calm and open look directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, barely noticeable nods of the head, a calm, free smile, eyes closed for a split second.

“combat readiness” for work and vigorous activity: the body becomes tense, there is a sharp throwing of the head, the upper part of the body takes a free, direct landing.

2) Decreasing interest. Abstraction. In this case, the rule says that the more the interlocutor leans back, turns away from his opponent, "hides" his body parts, the stronger his distraction. Such a posture may also indicate his rejection of the words of the interlocutor or be regarded as a manifestation of protection:

Passive state: backward deviation of the head and upper body, defiantly lazy posture, expressed in the tilt of the head and upper body to the side, active participation in the discussion is replaced by some rhythmic movements of the hands or feet, slowing down gestures and speed of speech.

3) Distrust, uncertainty, doubt and internal anxiety: incessant movements of the hands, toes or feet with a small amplitude are interpreted as negative nervous tension; repetitive movements with a broken rhythm, such as uneven tapping with a finger, fidgeting back and forth in a chair, etc.

4) Deep thought, reflections are characterized by a relaxed look, looking into the distance, hands clasped behind the back, rubbing the forehead with slow erasing movements, touching the mouth with fingers while looking as if through space, eyes closed for a few seconds, active, but at the same time inactive facial expressions.

5) Aversion, active and/or passive defense, increasing distraction: deviation of the whole body back with palms extended forward, turning the face away from the interlocutor. With anger, excitement, reluctance and surprise, strong tension, the appearance of vertical wrinkles on the forehead, clenching of teeth or vice versa, their exposure, increased voice volume, reddening of the face, strong inappropriate movements, clapping the palm or knuckles on the table are characteristic.

The ability to convince the interlocutor developed and honed over years of practice. Someone learns to convince the interlocutor faster, someone slower. But knowing certain principles and laws of influence on the interlocutor, being able to classify arguments according to the degree of their strength and influence, reading non-verbal signals, and applying other tips given in this article, you are guaranteed to be able to convince the interlocutor of your point of view.

1. Rules of Persuasion

1. The order of the arguments presented affects their persuasiveness. The most convincing order of arguments is: strong - medium - one strongest. It follows from this rule that it is better not to use weak arguments: having identified them in the process of preparation, do not use them for persuasion. They will do harm, not good. Indeed, the interlocutor pays more attention to the weaknesses in your arguments. Therefore, it is important not to make a mistake. It is not the number of arguments that decides the outcome of the case, but their reliability. One very important circumstance should be noted. The same argument for different people can be both strong and weak. Therefore, the strength (weakness) of the arguments must be determined from the point of view of the interlocutor.

2. To get a positive decision on an important issue for you, put it in third place, giving it two short, simple questions for the interlocutor, to which he will easily answer “yes”. This rule has existed for more than two thousand years, it has been tested by hundreds of generations of educated people. It is alive because it is true. And only relatively recently were found out the deep - physiological reasons that explain the effectiveness of this technique. It has been established that when a person says or hears “no”, the hormones of norepinephrine enter his bloodstream, setting him up to fight. Conversely, the word "yes" leads to the release of "pleasure hormones" - endorphins. Having received two portions of “hormones of pleasure”, the interlocutor relaxes, tunes in benevolently, it is psychologically easier for him to say “yes” than “no”. One portion of endorphins is not always enough to overcome the bad mood in which the interlocutor may be. In addition, it is impossible for a person to instantly change from one mood to another; one must give him more time and more “pleasure hormones” to ensure this process. Preliminary questions should be short so as not to tire the interlocutor, not to take up a lot of his time.

3. The persuasiveness of arguments largely depends on the image and status of the persuasive. It's one thing when an authoritative, respected person speaks, it's another when it's insignificant, not taken seriously. A high official or social position, outstanding success in some area, education, recognition of others, high personal qualities raise the status and image of a person, and with them the weight of his arguments. In order to apply rule three, one should keep in mind some facts and circumstances that indicate differences in the perception of status depending on the situation. For example, sociological surveys conducted on the eve of the elections of the deputy corps showed that voters give preference to men over women; middle age, not young and old. On the contrary, in court hearings in divorce cases, the status of a woman is generally perceived by judges as higher (due to the prevailing stereotype that such vices as drunkenness, assault, infidelity, selfishness are more inherent in husbands).

4. Do not belittle the status and image of the interlocutor. Any manifestation of disrespect, disregard for the interlocutor is an attack on his status and causes a negative reaction. Pointing out the mistake of the interlocutor or his wrongness negatively affects the image of the criticized.

5. Do not drive yourself into a corner, do not lower your status. Insecure behavior belittles a person and is associated with his low status. Apologies without proper reasons, showing signs of insecurity should be avoided. Here are some typical examples of a “suicidal” start of a conversation: “Excuse me, did I interrupt?”, “Please, if you have time to listen to me.”

6. We are condescending to the arguments of a pleasant interlocutor, and with prejudice to the arguments of an unpleasant interlocutor. The mechanism of action of this rule is the same as the rule of the "third place": a pleasant interlocutor stimulates the production of "hormones of pleasure" and unwillingness to enter into a confrontation. Unpleasant - vice versa. A pleasant impression, as you know, is created by many circumstances: appearance, respectful attitude, competent speech, pleasant manners.

7. Wanting to convince the interlocutor, start not with the moments that separate you, but with what you agree with him. Let it be even secondary circumstances in the statement of the interlocutor. Everyone listens with great pleasure to what he agrees with and what does not contradict his views. Conversely, we get annoyed when what we hear contradicts our opinion. The first makes the speaker a pleasant interlocutor, the second - unpleasant.

8. Be a good listener. Attentive listening is the key to persuasiveness. You will never convince if you do not understand the train of thought of the interlocutor. In addition, an attentive listener wins over the interlocutor.

9. Avoid conflict. Conflictogens are words or actions (inaction) that can lead to conflict: rudeness, threats, ridicule, peremptoryness, etc. Usually they do not go unnoticed, and the conversation turns into an altercation.

10. Watch facial expressions, gestures and postures - yours and the interlocutor. A person who knows the language of gestures and postures “reads” the interlocutor, receiving additional information. At the same time, we are often unconvincing if our gestures and postures do not match the spoken words. Knowing the features of non-verbal communication allows you to make speech more convincing.

11. Show that what you offer satisfies some of the needs of the interlocutor. A person needs to satisfy many needs: the need for security, confidence in the future, the need to belong to some kind of community, the need for respect, the need for self-realization, the need to receive positive emotions, etc. And all this serves as a source for finding strong arguments.

12. Show empathy. Empathy is the ability to comprehend the emotional state of another person in the form of empathy. Empathy helps to better understand the interlocutor, to imagine the course of his thoughts, as they say, "get into his shoes." Without showing empathy, it is impossible to fulfill the first rule. Indeed, we must evaluate the strength of arguments from the point of view of the interlocutor, that is, we must put ourselves in his place. The same applies to the second rule - you need to anticipate the reaction of the person being convinced to your words, that is, again, show empathy for him. Similarly, in order to use image and status in the process of persuasion, one must evaluate one's status and image from the point of view of the interlocutor. Empathy is also necessary to fulfill the conflict rule.

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Ivan Mikhailovich Sechenov (the famous Russian physiologist) once said: "You need to have the courage to express your convictions."

How often do we express our beliefs? In my opinion, it is a fairly common practice when we avoid speaking out for various reasons, but we all have one thing in common: we are afraid that our beliefs will not be accepted and we will not be able to defend them.

We are starting a series of articles about “beliefs” in which we will talk about different methods and techniques on how to convince and look convincing. Today we will talk about 3 rules named after scientists and philosophers of bygone days. These are the rules: Socrates, Homer and Pascal.

Socratic Rule

To get a positive decision on an important issue for you, put it in third place, prefixing it with two short questions, to which the interlocutor will answer you "yes".

First, let us cite two historical episodes showing that in ancient times the most enlightened people acted in accordance with this rule.

First example from the life of the great Chinese sage Kunzi (Confucius) (c. 551-479 BC).

Confucius, in his travels on Mount Taishan, saw Rongqiqi, who walked around the wasteland near Cheng, dressed in an unusable fur coat, girded with rope, played the qing and sang.

Confucius asked him, "Why is the teacher so joyful?" He replied: “I have many joys. Heaven gives birth to all ten thousand things, and only man is the most precious thing. But I managed to be born as people, and this is the first joy. The difference between a man and a woman is that a man is revered, a woman is neglected "Therefore, a man is more valuable. And I managed to be born a man, and this is the second joy. There are such lives when a person is deprived of the opportunity to see the days and months, even without having had time to part with the diapers. And I lived to be ninety years old, and this is the third joy. Poverty is common for a learned man, but death is the end of a person. Living in the ordinary, I wait for the end - so why be sad?

The persuasiveness of Zhongqiqi's speech captivated Confucius. Let us pay attention to the fact that the wanderer led the listener to a non-trivial conclusion by a series of statements, to each of which he was forced to mentally answer "yes".

The second story.

"Aspasia of Miletus" - this is how one of the most amazing women of Ancient Greece is named in the "Dictionary of Antiquity", published in 1889. In 432, this hetaera philosopher was brought to trial on charges of immorality and disrespect for the gods.

Samples of the conversations of this educated woman have been preserved, in which, in particular, thanks to the rule of Socrates, she led the interlocutors to the desired conclusions. As an example, let us recall her conversation with the historian Xenophon and his wife.

So step by step, getting consent, Aspasia led the couple to the conclusion she needed.

Socrates' Secret

What is the secret of the effectiveness of the rule of Socrates? It turns out - in the features of our hormonal system. When we say "yes", this means our consent, and with it the realization that confrontation with the interlocutor is not expected in the near future. Our body, focused on the economical expenditure of forces, immediately relaxes, which is carried out through the release of endorphins (hormones of pleasure) in the blood.

Thus, by relaxing the interlocutor with a few "yes", we reduce his mood for resistance in the main issue.

The genius of Socrates was that, not knowing anything about endorphins (this is a discovery of the 20th century), he pointed out the amazing power of conciliatory "yes".

Endorphins help to relax the persuaded when the persuader is a pleasant person for him. And also when applying the rules of a good listener (Pascal's rule): do not belittle the status of the interlocutor.

Homer's Rule

The order in which arguments are presented affects their persuasiveness. The most convincing order of arguments is: strong - medium - one strongest.

Consequences: a) avoid weak arguments; b) don't start with a request, start with arguments.

Strong arguments, with which Homer's rule recommends starting persuasion, are primarily aimed at instilling credibility. Against its background, the arguments of average strength that follow them look more weighty. The use of the strongest argument at the end of the speech is also psychologically more than expedient: it sounds at the moment when the persuaded person makes the final decision. If the decision is postponed, then the laws of memory work: the best thing to remember is what was at the end of the speech, then what was at the beginning; the middle is the least memorable.

The fact that Homer's rule forbids the use of weak arguments (even at the expense of reducing their number) also makes a deep sense: a weak argument immediately breeds distrust. One weak argument makes the whole speech unconvincing. The effect of such an argument is analogous to the behavior of a computer virus that "devours" everything around it.

A list of ten rules of persuasion with brief and clear comments: from the well-known ancient rules of argumentation by Homer and Socrates to the analysis of the persuasiveness of arguments, official position, status, as well as facial expressions and gestures of your interlocutor.

The order in which arguments are presented affects their persuasiveness. The most convincing order of arguments is: strong - medium - one strongest.

It follows from this rule that it is better not to use weak arguments: having identified them in the process of preparation, do not use them for persuasion. They will do harm, not good.

Indeed, the interlocutor pays more attention to the weaknesses in your arguments. Therefore, it is important not to make a mistake. It is not the number of arguments that decides the outcome of the case, but their reliability.

One very important circumstance should be noted. The same argument for different people can be both strong and weak. Therefore, the strength (weakness) of the arguments must be determined from the point of view of the interlocutor.

Second rule: Socratic rule

To get a positive decision on an issue that is important to you, put it in third place, prefixing it with two short, simple questions for the interlocutor, to which he will easily answer you “yes”.

This rule has existed for 2400 years, it has been tested by hundreds of generations of educated people. It is alive because it is true.

And only relatively recently, deep - physiological (!) - Reasons explaining the effectiveness of this technique have been clarified.

It has been established that when a person says or hears “no”, the hormones of norepinephrine enter his bloodstream, setting him up to fight. Conversely, the word “yes” leads to the release of “pleasure hormones” (endorphins).

Having received two portions of “hormones of pleasure”, the interlocutor relaxes, tunes in benevolently, it is psychologically easier for him to say “yes” than “no”.

One portion of endorphins is not always enough to overcome the bad mood in which the interlocutor may be. In addition, it is impossible for a person to instantly change from one mood to another; one must give him more time and more “pleasure hormones” to ensure this process.

Preliminary questions should be short so as not to tire the interlocutor, not to take up a lot of his time.

Third rule: the persuasiveness of arguments largely depends on the image and status of the persuasive

A high official or social position, outstanding success in any field of activity, education, recognition of merit by others, high personal qualities raise the status of a person, and with it the weight of his arguments. The support of a respected person also increases credibility. (In fact, rule 3 is used by those who ask a respected person to “put in a good word for themselves.” Or they refer to the opinion of a respected person by everyone, quoting him in support of their arguments.)

In order to apply rule 3, one should keep in mind some facts and circumstances that indicate differences in the perception of status depending on the situation.

For example, sociological surveys conducted on the eve of the elections of the deputy corps showed that voters give preference (ceteris paribus) to men over women; middle age, not young and old.

On the contrary, in court hearings in divorce cases, the status of a woman is generally perceived by judges as higher (due to the prevailing stereotype that such vices as drunkenness, assault, infidelity, selfishness are more inherent in husbands).

Fourth rule: don't underestimate your status

Any manifestation of disrespect, disregard for the interlocutor belittles his status and usually causes a negative reaction. One of the masters of advertising put it this way: "Do not think that the consumer of advertising is dumber than you."

Fifth rule:we treat the arguments of a pleasant interlocutor with indulgence, and we treat the arguments of an unpleasant interlocutor - prejudiced

The mechanism of this rule is the same as the rules of Socrates: a pleasant interlocutor stimulates the production of "hormones of pleasure" and unwillingness to enter into a confrontation. Unpleasant - vice versa. A pleasant impression, as you know, is created by many circumstances: appearance, respectful attitude, competent speech, pleasant manners.

Sixth rule: wanting to convince, start not with the moments that separate you, but with what the interlocutor agrees with you

Seventh rule: show empathy

Empathy is the ability to comprehend the emotional state of another person in the form of empathy.

Empathy helps to better understand the interlocutor, to imagine the course of his thoughts, as they say, "get into his shoes."

Without showing empathy, it is impossible to fulfill the first rule (of Homer). Indeed, we must evaluate the strength of arguments from the point of view of the consumer, that is, we must put ourselves in his place.

The same applies to the rule of Socrates - you need to anticipate the consumer's reaction to your words, that is, again, show empathy for him.

Similarly, to use the image and status in the process of persuasion, it is necessary to assess the status and image of the persuading character from the point of view of the interlocutor. Empathy is also needed to fulfill the next rule.

Eighth rule: avoid conflictogens

Conflictogens are words, actions (or inaction) that can lead to conflict. The literal translation of this word is “giving birth to conflicts”, because the ending “gene” in a compound word means “giving birth”.

The word "powerful" is key here. It reveals the cause of the danger of a conflictogen. That it does not always lead to conflict reduces our vigilance towards it. For example, impolite treatment does not always lead to conflict, which is why it is tolerated by many with the thought that it will “go away”. However, it often does not “go away” and leads to conflict.

Ninth rule: facial expressions, gestures and postures of the persuasive should reinforce the words, be friendly to the audience

facial expressions- the main indicator of feelings. The most easily recognized positive emotions - happiness, love and surprise. It is difficult to perceive, as a rule, negative emotions - sadness, anger and disgust. Usually emotions are associated with facial expressions as follows:

astonishment - raised eyebrows, wide open eyes, downturned lips, parted mouth;

fear - eyebrows raised and brought together above the bridge of the nose, eyes wide open, corners of the lips lowered and somewhat laid back, lips stretched to the sides, the mouth can be open;

anger - eyebrows are lowered, wrinkles on the forehead are curved, eyes are narrowed, lips are closed, teeth are clenched;

disgust - eyebrows are lowered, the nose is wrinkled, the lower lip is protruded or raised and closed with the upper lip;

sadness - eyebrows are brought together, eyes are extinct, often the outer corners of the lips are slightly lowered;

happiness - the eyes are calm, the outer corners of the lips are raised and usually laid back.

Artists and photographers have long known that the human face is asymmetrical, with the result that the left and right sides of our face reflect emotions differently. Recent studies have explained this by saying that the left and right sides of the face are under the control of different hemispheres of the brain.

The left hemisphere controls speech and intellectual activity, while the right hemisphere controls emotions, imagination and sensory activity. Control connections are crossed: the work of the left hemisphere is reflected on the right side of the face and gives it an expression that can be more controlled. Since the work of the right hemisphere of the brain is reflected on the left side of the face, it is more difficult to hide feelings on this side. Positive emotions are reflected more evenly on both sides of the face, negative emotions are clearly expressed on the left side. However, both hemispheres of the brain function together, so the differences described relate to the nuances of expression.

Tenth rule: show that what you offer will satisfy some of the needs of the listener

We have already said that according to the classification of A. Maslow, human needs are divided into five types. It is appropriate to supplement them with one of the most important psychological needs - the need for positive emotions.

All these needs serve as a source for finding persuasive strong arguments. The opportunity you offer to satisfy some of the needs of a person is a strong argument.