How to cope with children's aggression. Aggressive child

11.09.2019

The baby is always associated with a little benevolent, who willingly go on contact with others. What is the surprise of parents when numerous complaints come to their child, and one day mom and dad see the child's aggression towards other children. Why do such colossal changes occur?

Aggression in children requires mandatory correction

Definition of aggressiveness in children

Aggression is destructive behavior aimed at other people, which brings physical and moral suffering. Not only the surrounding parents suffer from this state, but the child himself, the environment turns away from him, the baby begins to feel offended. Negative emotions grow like a snowball, misunderstanding of others generates new attacks of aggressive behavior.

Types of aggression in children

It is noted that the aggression is activated when the child falls into the children's team. When he was in a family circle with her mother and dad he was the center of attention. In kindergarten one educator and at least twenty people are the same as he.

With aggressive behavior, the diseases of the nervous system should be eliminated. In the total number of cases of aggressive behavior, these reasons occupy a small percentage. The difficulty is that to work with such children without comprehensive surveys and drug treatment.

Why is it important early upbringing?

In other cases, most problems can be solved with the help of upbringing. The process of interaction with the child must begin with the first meeting. It has been proven that the child remembers the appeal with his parents from the first days of life. When the child has their own children, he copies parents' behavior.

Aggressiveness can appear in early childhood

It is noticed why children who fed little breast milk are often aggressive. In the history of the development of an aggressive child, there is earlier the excommunication child from the chest.

Close contact with the mother gives the child a feeling of protectedness and tenderness, the child compensates them through all the children's years.

Age up to year - an aggressive child what to do?

Many adults, consider aggression congenital quality, because many children often cry and arrange hysteria. But such a newborn reaction is nothing more than the ability to express their emotions. Cry kid expresses various emotions and needs.

The aggressiveness of parents is transmitted to children

From the age of one year, the child begins to show strong emotions. The kid is mastering the seat, crawling, walking, says his first words. If the child does not get the desired, then expresses his discontestation of the wave of protest. If the baby seeks to get it from an adult, then anger may have anger in relation to him, the child may hurt, pinch, raise hysterics. At this moment, the older relatives try to switch the child's attention, at first it succeeds.

Why can not limit the child in desires and aspirations?

It is necessary to prepare a safe space for the kid, where he could carry out. For example, a child likes to get things from the shelves in the dresser. For its safety, you can close all other shelves, and on the lowest put soft things without dangerous accessories. So the baby will fulfill his desire, will remain safe.

The protest and discontent of the child is not true aggression, the problem may appear later. It is important from an early years not to break the psyche of the child and not kill in it aspirations for the knowledge of the world.

Children in the interval from 2 - up to 3 years

Each child develops individually, specifically for this age is not worth it. Your child can come closer to this crisis stage with a semi-annual late or on the contrary before. It is necessary to clearly track signs of aggression in the behavior of the child.

From this point on, the child differs from other people, his personality is formed. The baby begins to say: "I myself, mine, give!". The child shows independence, trying to do all actions alone. You can not stop the desires of the child in this case you will come across resistance and misunderstanding.

Aggression can manifest itself to things, parents, strangers

The manifestation of indignation may begin due to a minor event. The aggressive child reached for a toy, failed to grasp, at first there is a loud crying, all attempts to calm the child face irreconcilable resistance.

Why does the child react to the words of aggression?

Aggression attacks can be caused not only in response to actions, but also on words. The root of this state can be observed when the baby has a scant vocabulary. When you try to explain my desires and aspirations, he faces misunderstanding and laughter. It is very important to treat with understanding to any verbal expression of feelings by a child, otherwise the child appears anger and insult.

Aggression can manifest itself verbally, in actions and hysterics.

Children from 4 years - to school age

With the growth and development of the baby, the sense of control over their emotions and actions is being improved. To this age, children skillfully begin to manage their actions, as a rule, are less likely to fight, although some children continue to find out the relationship. Although some continue to select toys, fight and bite peers.

Aggression from schoolchildren is often directed to peers

By age of 4-5 years, children begin to lead an active controversy. They are trying to humiliate the dignity of the incomprehensible child with words, begin to call and swear. Why can I hear an obscene break from the mouth of the little man? Such behavior is usually a child absorbs from family communication. It is very important not to find out the relationship with the child.

If your child is seen in this form of aggression, it is worth talking to him seriously and change the relationship in the family. The best example is your own benevolent attitude. Tell your child that you can not humiliate the dignity of other children.

The aggressive behavior of the child speaks about excess of emotions and energy. Perhaps it makes sense to arrange a child in a section or a circle where it will be physically and emotionally involved. Very useful in this regard, classes based on competition, martial arts, competitions.

Teenager and aggression

Why is it difficult to work with this age group?

The most tragic stage of development of aggression aged 11-14 years, if it is easier to work with a child, more positive response. That in the case of aggression of the grown off, everything is much more complicated. Root problems are still in the family. Many parents are very busy people, they lack time to sit down and simply talk to the child, all communication is limited to duty phrases.

Certain with teenage aggression is not very simple, here you need a consultation of a psychologist. A thorough conversation is needed about the importance of your work, the child does not work yet, the standard of living of all family members directly depends on your employment.

The struggle is not necessary, but you need to try and believe in success. There are no hopeless situations, if you do not know what to do is looking for experience in other people and specialists.

Causes of children's aggression:

Industrial influence of human society. A person cannot exist in the separation from society. However, the people with whom we and our children interact are not always filled with good and positive. The child due to the age and lack of experience is easy to mislead.

Cause of aggression - attitude to the child

Problems in family communication from children's years. Often the reason for the child's aggression lies in the disclaimers in the family. Aggressive children often copy the behavior of adult family members. Some parents find a relationship with children, can reach abuse and fights. You need to learn to control your emotions and teach this child. In human society there are many ways to solve problems, aggression nor in physical or psychological form is not welcome.

Discomfort in society is one of the causes of aggression

Media. This source of an example for behavior pursues a child constantly. So aggressive children gradually turn into adolescents. From TV screens, there are many scenes of violence, swearing, fighting. A child from an early years is not protected from exposure. If there was an adult with a TV between the child and the computer, the TV was constantly once. Communication with your favorite tea they leave for later. So the middle-aged child assimilates the lessons from the media as a capital truth. To date, even children's cartoons changed priorities. Already in fashion, good cartoons who taught capital truths. Today, young people bet on the bogacity and audacity. This method of solving conflicts does not bring to good.

Psychologists consider. Internet leads to children's aggressiveness

Methods of combating children's aggression

Sharpen the child if he just really deserved it. All misconduct should not remain without your assessment, the child should not feel impunity. If the child has shown himself from a positive side, then do not leave it without attention, your love and care will find a response.

What to do with an aggressive child

What errors should not be allowed when combating children's aggression

Get your pet. Children who hate the whole world can be attached to a puppy or kitten. Through this communication will be easier to reach the heart of the child.

Related Materials

Aggressive behavior and stubbornness is not only a type of negative and hostile disorder of social relationships, but also upholding their right to protect against interference or insult from others. A stubborn and aggressive child is usually inclined to join the quarrels with adults, often neglecting his dignity, swelling it, inclined to easily give the will of anger or aggression. What if you have an aggressive child, our psychologist will tell.

What if the child is aggressive?

It is very important that the psychotherapist pays more attention to working with parents, since their behavior has a direct impact on children. All participants in the therapeutic process should understand the purpose of treatment and their own opinion to send to achieve better results.

Experts are unanimous in that asocial disorders, including the child aggressive, more often arises in families, where the behavior of parents does not know the borders. Opposition behavior is also common among hyperactive children. In these cases, the successful treatment of hyperactivity, as a rule, also removes other behavioral problems.

In relation to children, whose opposition behavior is not associated with hyperactivity, the basis of treatment is therapeutic work with the child and his family. Parents should learn to behave correctly and understand that they should abandon negative conclusions against children protesting against the gross behavior of parents.

Most aggressive children are likely to be convinced that their behavior is acceptable and efficient. Small children are constantly experiencing their environment to action, as they cannot clearly express their intentions in words. If it is allowed to them, they express their irritation, scattering toys or throwing them into comrades in the game, which meet them the same. Children are soft and indecisive by nature, deeply perceive the teachings of adults and when repeating such a situation, stop maintaining the aggressive behavior of other children.

An inconsistent response to the child's aggression is particularly harmful, which is sometimes punished, and sometimes ignored. Children cannot understand the meaning of such conflicting behavior of adults. The disappointment arising in such cases may further lead to aggressive behavior.

How to behave at the time of the attack of the child's aggression

To cope with the aggression of the child, you need to establish and save contact with it. Spectator - an important medicine, thanks to which you give your child love. With visual contact, you support the baby favorably, and the child looks at you.

Visual contact with it is light and normal, such as when you look at the baby, which in response you smiles. True, it can be very difficult.

When your child is angry with you and noisily expresses its own rage, and you have problems and you feel that another drop - and your patience will burst, then thinking does not want to look into his eyes with love. But it is necessary to do this because of myself and the child. Since it is extremely difficult, during the perturbed outbreaks of the child you will need to talk with you. That is, calm yourself.

This will undoubtedly help not lose self-control, even in anger. When you are in an angry state, it is hard to assure yourself in this. However, this is a single method to teach it to manage its own rage. This conversation with you will undoubtedly help to establish friendly visual contact with him in this heavy, principal moment.

Despite the actions of an aggressive child, the contact really works. If your child is ruthlessly looking at you, then you may want to hover. But avoiding contact with the eyes, you only increase its rage.

Of course, in no case, do not pour your anger on it. Children perceive it rising than spiritual or physical pain.

Physical contact

When an aggressive child does not want to enter visual contact, that is, still physical. Studies demonstrate that few kids have quite a few such contacts that can replenish its emotionality. When everyone is great and nice, he is perceived by both children and parents like merit. In grave days, physical contact becomes salvation.

When the child is angry, he is so absorbed by his thoughts, which loses the orientation and does not think what is happening around. In such periods are affectionate, lungs, fast touch helps. True, if an aggressive child is still angry at you, it is better to do without physical contact until it rests.

Any child needs to be given time. And to give him a lot of time to know that he is the most important person for you all over the world. To cope with the anger of the child, you need to know how he himself. And then apply characteristic ways.

"My daughter is four and a half years. In the past few weeks, I began to notice her aggressive behavior (in kindergarten bitten and pinched the girl, and herself often comes in bruises). At home we talked about it, and in a couple of days everything was repeated again.

When you start to explain to her that it is not good, closes the ears with his hands, and says: "Enough, I understood everything," but then everything starts again. The child aggressive, stubborn, often pretends that he does not hear when I call her call or do something.

An early childhood showed independence and independence, now only what will choose herself. Hyperactive, no moment on the spot and not a minute of silence, although it is not bad. But her aggression and stubbornness are very bothering, how to cope with it, it is to cope, and not to deal. We tried, but nothing helps, it becomes even worse ... Lala Grigoryadis. "

What if you have an aggressive child, psychologist Elena Pornvaeva is responsible:

The ability to stand up for itself, in general, useful to kids, including girls; However, you describe a slightly different behavior - first of all enough inadequate. For example, you say that the girl comes from kindergarten in bruises - and does not make any conclusions from it, continuing to act in the same way.

So, there is some stimulus who provokes and even makes her behave. Do not forget that children are a kind of weather barometer in the house, that is, a mirror reflecting the family relationships, primarily between meaningful adults.

In your case, the girl is not clear even towards parents - when she is trying to say something, clamping ears, etc. Aggressive child cannot sit quietly, because ... pay attention to your behavior ... ask, Maybe something provokes your daughter to such behavior in kindergarten ...

What could be the causes of children's aggression? What if the child behaves aggressively?

"He came up!" - a dramatic voice exclaims a teacher in kindergarten. Under barely restrained maternal annoyance, a small man returns home. There, his fate will be solved on the family council: the fate of a person who has committed an unforgivable aggressive act.

Modern society dictates our rules of the game. And then for that 100 years ago, my father would praise, today it causes Parents to panic. What is children's aggression? Is it worth dealing with her? And if it is, how.

Types of aggression in children

According to the most common interpretation, children's aggression is a behavior aimed at others or on itself, and related to harming. Depending on how this behavior is manifested by the following types of aggression:

Verbal "The child shouts, swears, calls, wonderingly insults." Depending on whether the baby will pronounce a man who raised him, or complains of a third party who did not have a relation to the conflict, aggression is divided into direct and indirectly respectively.
Physical - Here is the causation of material damage to the inclusion.

Such aggression may be:

straight - Children fight, bite, knock, scratch. The purpose of such behavior is to hurt another person;
indirect - In the course there is harm to the obeusing things. A child can break the book, break a toy or destroy someone else's sand castle.
symbolic - represents the threats to the use of force. Often this type of aggression develops into direct. For example, the child shouts that he bites you and, if intimidation did not work, embodies him into life.

No matter how children's aggressive behavior was manifested, the parents always cause a stupor and bewilderment. Where did it come from? What to do with it? Ordinary talk about what to fight and swear bad, do not help.

Causes of outbreaks of aggression and aggressive behavior in children and adolescents

Especially painful family members perceive aggression aimed at them. Why a child is aggressive with other children can be understood, but after all the houses are good to the child. So what is the causes of outbreaks of aggression and aggressive behavior in children and adolescents?

The most common group of reasons can be qualified as "family problems". Moreover, it can be both difficulties in the relationship between parents and a child and the problems of adults, which directly to the baby are not related: Divorce, the death of a close relative
Children as well as adults have their own individual features. Therefore, the second group of reasons can be attributed to "personal peculiarities". The child can be easily excited, anxious, irritable. It is difficult for him to control his emotions, so any trifle can bring him into rage
And the last group can be described as "situational reasons". Fatigue, poor well-being, heat, long monotonous pastime, poor-quality food. Such things can withdraw not only a child, but also an adult

Diagnosis of aggression in children

All these factors can intersect, superimpose each other. To identify that it was the cause of the aggressive behavior of the child in a particular case, a qualified psychologist will help. The diagnosis of aggression in children is carried out in several meetings, according to the results of which a specialist gives an analysis of the problem and offers ways to solve it

The choice of aggression correction methods depends on the set of moments. But parents need to be prepared for the fact that there is no simple way to treat aggression. To help the child will have to work a lot, and above themselves

What to pay attention to the first place, what recommendations to parents of aggressive children should be guided? It depends a lot of both from the causes of such a child's behavior and from his age

Aggression in children in 2-3 years

For this period there are a crisis of 3 years. Kids are selfish, not used to sharing. In case, disagreement with something they can hit, scream or break something belonging to them.

It should be remembered that while children do not know how to control their emotions, so this behavior is rather normal than deviation. Do not scold the child, better try to distract something from the object of his bad mood.

Excessive severity can lead to aggravation problems. Take the baby to the side, gently tell me that it is impossible to behave and offer a new occupation.

Aggressive preschool children

Most often, aggression in children for various reasons arises in preschool age. At this time, the little man still does not know how to express his emotions and feelings and tries to express them as aggression.

Aggression in children in 4-5 years

At this age, the child begins to master in society. He checks, examines how his behavior affects other people, including parents.

If his actions do not harm others, let him build a border of his "I". It should be understood that this does not mean permissiveness. It is necessary to clearly understand the child that you can and what is not. How can he express his anger (words), but as not (physically).

Aggression in children 6-7 years

Senior preschool children are not too often aggressive. They have already learned to control themselves, understand that well, and what is bad. If the child behaves aggressively and cruelly, you should think about the reasons.

Perhaps he lacks independence or difficult to communicate with peers. Now interaction with other children for the baby in the first place.

Aggression from schoolchildren

Schoolchildren also do not have another psyche formed to the end and most often express their feelings on peers and teachers as aggressive self-defense.

Aggression in children in 8-9 years

The child is growing actively, expanding his knowledge about the world and about himself. And boys, and girls begin to pay attention to the opposite sex. An adult authority is questioned.

It is important for parents to understand that the child stopped being a baby. From now on, children require a relationship as equal. Schoolchildren's aggression is often associated with rejection by adults of this fact.

Aggression in children in 10-12 years

Junior adolescent age prepares parents to crisis and complex teenage. Already now the authority of peers for the child is more important than the parent. Aggressive flashes are not avoided now.

It is important not to respond to aggression on aggression and not join a slippery track of confrontation. It is better to try to build partnerships with a child. Cut it more time, talk on adult topics. Of course, the framework and boundaries should be. Still, you are a parent, not a friend of your child.

In any of these periods, it should be understood when aggression is only temporary, situational, and when it threatens to turn into an accentuation of character. If the problem of children's aggression in your family is sharp enough, and you feel that you do not cope with the situation, do not be afraid to ask for help. Education of aggressive children is not an easy task. And the work of the psychologist will not be superfluous here.

How to remove aggression in a child? Treatment of aggression in children

There are various techniques how to remove the aggression in the child. The network has a large amount of information on this issue.

Video: Children's aggression. How to help your child get rid of her?

All these classes and developments can be tasted to apply. Someone from children does not like to draw, but I will gladly write a story with fictional characters. Some guys like to build and break. And someone simply experiences the need to scream, thus releaseing anger.

Aggressive child recommendations to parents

No matter how much way you choose, it should be understood that this is only a transitional stage for your child.

Through games and exercises, you can remove the tension, but they are not a panacea
The child must learn to cope with his emotions constructively, expressing them with words. Showing the true cause of your disorder, he will experience relief and can search for the options for solving its problem. Agree when inside everything bubbles from anger difficult to find output
Perhaps during classes with their child you will understand that the problem of children's aggression lies in you yourself, in parents
Recognize such hard, but this is not an indication that you are a bad mother or a bad father. This talks about you as an adult, a person responsible. Having committed certain efforts, you can change the situation. And that would not have done your child, remember, he is waiting for you to love him no matter what
Confidence in your need, values \u200b\u200bfor the most important people in their lives - parents - can work miracles even with the most reserved hooligans

Video: How to teach a child to manage your emotions and express your feelings?

Games for aggressive children

The life of children, especially younger age, consists of 90% of games. Through them, the child knows the world and learns to live in it. Therefore, often when words in order to explain the baby how to cope with the passions with the passions in it is not enough, you can also use game situations
Stootite each other with pillows, arrange a "war" in winter in winter and water guns in the summer, play darts, loudly leucing with every hit, run chairs, play the sea battle
This will help the child to reset the internal tension. Remember the films in which the hero, angry, threw his enemy in the face of the cake, and ended with everything with a laugh and friendly mercy of the residues of sweets

Exercises for aggressive children

In addition to the simple, famous for all of the childhood games, in collaboration with children, prone often to show aggression, apply the exercises developed by psychologists.

Video: Games to reduce children's aggression

Classes with aggressive children

During all games and exercises, mentioned above, it is important to give a child to understand that with their help he can cope with his emotions and without your direct assistance.
During a quarrel, you can, for example, to say: "We both are very angry now, let's take pillows and will fight until each other forgive each other." So you not only remove the voltage, but also show how you can solve a conflict without victims.
Another important point in any occupation with the child is to build the boundaries permitted: during the battle, the pillows need to specify that you can only beat the pillow, without the participation of the legs. If you need to cope with verbal aggression, then you can affect, but not disappointing, for example, the names of vegetables

Education of aggressive children

The necessary components of the educational process of children who cannot constructively express their emotions are reflection and personal example.

The concept of reflection implies the ability to analyze their feelings. When a child shouts or beats other children, he does not always understand what happens to him. It is important to talk to him about this so that he felt your participation and support in a difficult situation for him.

All ways of their interaction with other people, children are absorbed primarily in the family. Please note how you and your loved ones are coping with anger. Maybe your baby just copies adults? And before changing his behavior, you need to change yourself?

Video: Children's anger and aggression. Why are our children become evil?

Why a child is aggressive with other children

Often the situation when the child is aggressively leading to himself, parents will learn from third parties. Complaints of the teacher or the educator cause bewilderment. How to act in this situation? What measures should be taken
First of all, you need to breathe deeply and delve into the situation. What exactly happened? Under what circumstances? The child exhibits aggression to someone concrete or to all children
It is also important to find out the child's opinion on this issue. Try to ask him. But do not press. Kids do not always tell about their experiences
You should pay attention to what it will take place in the evening. Tulched a doll head? Talk about what a doll did, it's good or bad why it was necessary to punish. You can paint together and through the drawing to play the situation in the afternoon

Work psychologist with aggressive children

If you understand the causes of constant aggressive outbreaks of the child, it is not independently necessary, you do not need to release the situation on "Samotek". In some cases, consultation with a psychologist is equally useful for both parents and a child.

The specialist will help to figure out what is behind such behavior and will give recommendations for the upbringing of your baby. In some cases, psychocorrection work is needed.

Correction of aggression in children

When mentioning the word "psychocorrection", many parents occur in a panic attack: something is wrong with my child, he is not normal, as it happened that they will think that others think, suddenly think that my child is psych. But should not avoid appealing for help because of your own fears.

Thanks to the fact that you and your child will not attend a psychologist, the problem will not disappear. Think more importantly: how you will look in the eyes of the surrounding or health of your baby.

Depending on what kind of children's problem, correctional work can be:

individual - the child is engaged in a psychologist one on one. More suitable for senior adolescents, not ready for group work
family - When classes with a psychologist attends the whole family or someone from family members and a child. This type of work is ideal for young children. He is able to teach not only the kid himself to cope with strong emotions, but also help his mother with dope correctly understand and respond to emotional outbreaks of his child
group - the child visits classes together with peers. Through game situations, communication he learns to better understand himself and behave in society an acceptable way, not humiliating and not offended by others

Prevention of aggressive behavior of children

Not always fears of parents about the fact that their child has serious problems justified. Often apparent unresolved difficulties in fact are not so scary.

And yet it is important to listen to your children and understand what is happening in their lives now. If it is right, you can easily prevent an aggressive outbreak, to send strong emotions to the right channel and reconcile the child with your own feelings, which means with the whole world!

Video: How to repay aggression in a child (S.A. Amonashvili)

Is children's aggression always a negative factor or does it serve as a good baby? The Austrian zoopsychologist Conrad Lorentz considered aggressiveness and conflict as one of the aspects of the instinct of self-preservation. From this point of view, hostility is a useful skill existing for defending their rights and interests. However, if the baby is not explained on time that uncontrolled outbreaks of aggression are unacceptable, consequences can be very serious. Conflict to turn from the constructive tool into destructive. So how can the aggression and adolescent aggression on time, how to react to the aggression of the child? And what to do to teach a child to control your emotions?

Causes of children's aggression

Crisis periods in development. Through conflict and capriciousness, children are trying to find their place in the changed atmosphere, build a new type of communication with others.
Manifestation of a somatic disease. The aggressive behavior of the child may be associated with his mental or neurological diseases.
Worsening of well-being on the eve of a cold. The baby feels ailment, but due to the age does not understand that it bothers him, and cannot explain it to adults. He begins to behave badly, trying to attract attention.
Excessive love for one of the parents. The second parent becomes the object of aggression.
Strong stress associated with the loss of a loved one, severe relative's disease, another serious family problem. So he removes the tension, the fear breaks out, grieving, anger.
Lack of love, indifference from parents. The child exhibits aggression to get at least some emotional response from them. The reasons for teenage aggression often choke in a cold ratio from the mother.
Copying adult behavior. If mom and dad comes out every day, fighting, screaming, swear with outsiders, it is difficult to expect from the baby of another behavior.

When does the aggression of a child should not be suppressed?

Mother It is important to be able to distinguish the attacks of aggression from the child from the desire to protect their interests.

Example 1.. A older girl is suitable for your daughter on the playground, pushes, calls, trying to take a doll. Your baby has good reason to begin to be angry and try to protect your property with all their might.

From this righteous anger in the future will grow ability to defend their point of view. If in such situations you will scold your child, then he will consolidate the conviction that to protect himself is bad.

Diagnostics of the state of aggression in adolescents and children

There are various techniques for identifying children's aggression. Consider some of them.

Observation scheme, composed of Alvord and Baker. It includes 8 criteria. It is necessary to track the behavior of the student (pupil) at least 6 months. If the child is aggressive, then during this time it will manifest a minimum of 4 signs.
The Lavrentieva and Titarenko questionnaire contains 20 questions to which you need to answer "yes" or "no" (the form fills the teacher). This questionnaire helps to determine the level of schoolboy's aggressiveness.
The test "Hands" Wagner allows you to reveal in children not only a tendency to violence, but also other features of the emotional-volitional sphere of the child. It is also used to examine children with OVD.
Picturesque tests ("non-existent animal", "Cactus") detect hidden aggression, can be applied in diagnostic surveys of junior preschoolers and children with developmental impairment.

Types of children's aggression

Aggression happens:

Physical. It manifests itself in applying physical and material damage to the offender. The aggressor can bite, hit another person or animal, break some thing.
Wonderful or verbal aggression includes insults, slander, screams. Girls are much more often resorted to this method, using boycotting, intrigue and manipulation instead of fists.

A conflicting person can manifest her:

straight (do it hurts, insult in the face);
indirectly (break the thing of the offender, to dissolve unpleasant rumors about him or unflattering to respond "behind the back");
symbolically (threatening).

These are open manifestations of aggressiveness in children. If the child does not know how to openly conflict, he begins to do it hidden (passively): refuses to perform homework or eat, unfortunately emanates with other children, refuses to compromise. Hidden aggression in adolescents prevents healthy relationships, it becomes the cause of uncontrollable jealousy and suspicion, leads to self-dispersion.

How to cope?

Aggression in children of preschool age: what is it caused? How to cope with the aggression of the child-preschooler?

Children's aggression is a very frequent phenomenon. Why do children behave, seemingly not peculiar to such a young age man? This is due to the highest pace of development and inability to control emotions. Physical aggression prevails in preschool children. Preschoolers are fighting, bite, call, whipped, arrange hysterics and try to manipulate adults.

Aggression in children from 1.6 to 3 years

For a year and a half accounts for the first crisis. The baby appears new desires, emotions, interests, but there is no opportunity to express them with words. Aggression in children of 1.6-2 years may be associated with an abrasiveness of feelings. So from the tide of love for the mother, the baby can start beat it. What to do in this case?

Mom should catch the hand of the child, with a serious expression on the face of strictly and calmly say: "No, it is impossible!". In no case should not smile or speak gently, because The baby can decide that Mom plays.

If Chado is trying to bite someone, you need to substitute a tense palm under his teeth. Why? Because it will slide your teeth. The kid will take a few more attempts to bite, but quickly will lose interest in what he does not work.

Aggressive behavior of children in 3 years

The second crisis period: children begin to strive for independence. The kid takes out other people's toys, drives out other children from the sandbox, does not allow them to a slide. Favorite phrases three-year hundreds: "I myself!", "This is mine!".

The aggression from preschoolers does not pass by itself, but it is not worth emphasizing. If mom is too emotionally reacting to minor conflicts, he can only aggravate the situation. It will be better to move away with the baby to the side, calmly talk and offer him another game. A pleasant feature of this age: preschoolers easily switch to another occupation and forget the insults.

Causes of aggression in children from 4 to 6 years

In the older preschool age, children actively know the society. They learn respectfully to the caregivers, to build relationships with peers, check the "strength" of the surrounding people. At 4 years old, the preschooler begins to build his personal borders and zealously guard them. He becomes aggressive if someone encroaches on its territory. From 5 years old girls try to hide their conflict behavior. They are moving from physical aggression to speech, which begins to manifest themselves in inventing offensive nicknames, the refusal to be friends with someone, set up all against the "enemy".

Aggression of younger schoolchildren

Another important stage in the life of the child accounts for 6.5-7 years. He goes to grade 1. The elementary school entails many changes: gaming activity is replaced by the study, the newly-handed student falls into a new team, starts receiving marks.

Speech aggression in younger schoolchildren becomes more sophisticated. If children have an outbreak of indulgence in preschool age, they are inevitable to control themselves, then at 7 years old they commit acts of physical violence consciously and purposefully. Junior schoolchildren have a new character trait - avenue.

If parents did not fight with the manifestations of aggression from the child in preschool age (or did it wrong), then when moving to school, its conflict and cruelty will increase dramatically. Work on the correction of behavior will require more effort.

Specificity of aggression in adolescence

Teenage aggression is a bright indicator of the start of transition. Even those children who always behave well become exposed to flashes of rage. A teenager has active hormonal changes that entail impassable, suspicion, irritability with which he does not always know how to cope. Aggression at school becomes a way to express yourself, conquer authority. These factors make adolescents most vulnerable to negative environmental influence.

Dangerous underwater stone aggression of adolescents is hidden aggression, leading to an unmotivated "cold" fight with everyone and everything. It can cause self-destructive behavior, suicidal thoughts.

The reasons for aggression in adolescents can be wounded in the wrong education: hyperemp (excessive concern) or hypoems (abandonment, lack of attention from mother and father), authoritarian, violent methods of upbringing.

Aggression in children with disabilities

Any defect imposes an imprint on the character of a person. Aggression in children with ABS is more often observed with mental retardation, mental delay (CPR) and autism.

In children with SRR, mental processes of the brain are developing unevenly, lagging behind the norm. Among them are the processes of excitation and braking. This is the main cause of the aggressiveness of children with the CPR. In response to the stimulus, the schoolboy becomes aggressive. This splash of hostility should "remove" the braking process, but it is not able to extinguish the excitement.

In children with autism, autoagression is more common. Autist can batch, scratch, beat himself to get rid of discomfort.

How to deal with aggression from a child with OVD

A child with ABS behaves aggressively, due to the features of the development and availability of serious diseases. First of all, it must be treated. Treatment of aggression in children with ABS necessarily includes continuous monitoring of the psychiatrist and neurologist, the reception of discharged drugs, the implementation of therapeutic procedures.

If you do not teach a special kid at an early age, the uncontrolled aggression in adolescence can lead to very serious and unpredictable consequences.

Correctional and developing work contains general (suitable for all children) and specific game exercises for lifting tension, the ability to understand other people's emotions and adequately express their feelings.

Work on the elimination of physical aggression is based on the teaching of the child to understand the feelings and control the emotions. Aggressive children should be able to express their anger in safe ways.

The preschooler can suggest to turn the legs or throw the ball when he is angry. The internal tension helps to remove the game with bulk materials (crouping, sifting the manus, drawing tracks on the sand surface) and water (transfusion, starting the ships, "sink is not sinking").

Get rid of speech aggression will help the bag in which children can "cry" the entire negative.

Pupils of medium and older classes teach analyze the consequences of their actions and use the "I-saying" ("I'm angry when you do that." Instead, "stop do that!"). They offer the exercise "Laying Couples" (classmates in turn say that they do not like each other), playing unpleasant situations with further discussion.

The school desk can be equipped with an "wrath" sheets ", which students can squeeze or break when anger feel.

Sometimes the aggressive behavior of adolescents requires a psychotherapist intervention. If you feel that you do not cope with the situation, do not be afraid to ask for help from a specialist.

Prevention of children's aggressiveness

The character of a person largely depends on the microclimate in the family. Parents should stick to one style of upbringing, peacefully settle the differences arising, treat the child with respect, praise him even for the most minor successes and achievements.

Adults must be able to control themselves and submit to children the correct example.

Parents must voice the feelings of the baby and the reasons for which they appeared. So he will quickly learn to understand what happens to him. ("You are angry, because Seryozha broke your machine.")

Do not hide the death of a loved one from him. Later, when it really becomes known, he will feel like a devotee, deceived.

If the aggressive act is not dangerous, the mother should not focus on it.

It is not necessary to glow the situation during communication with children, prone to violence.

Condemned an act, not a child ("You entered very irresponsible", and not "what are you irresponsible!").

Take your baby time, hug him and play with him. Teach your baby to talk, share your experiences and fears. Then he will not need to seek your attention and prove its significance by aggressive methods.

The age of seven years is a very important frontier in the life of a child. He becomes a schoolboy, expands his circle of communication. The routine of the day changes, new responsibilities and hobbies appear.

It is now that academic activity begins to actively displace the game, and thinking from visual-shaped, becomes verbal and logical.

Auditable attention is developing and meaningful memory. And it is during this period that aggression has 7 years old. Tips for a psychologist, can help comfortably and correctly overcome this difficult period.

There are several forms of children's aggression:

Physical - expressed in physical impact on others or in intentional damage of objects. The child hits, pushes, bits of other children, throws or runningly breaking items.
Verbal - performed orally. It includes: insults, threats, scream, swearing.
Indirect - indirect aggression. These are gossip, complaints, eyebrow hysteries, burning conflicts among peers, intentional violation of the rules adopted in the team.

Showing aggression, children pursue different goals. For one kid, this is a way to achieve a specific goal, get the desired. For another, the way to protect yourself from the offender or take revenge on it.

Some children, hitting the new team, being among unfamiliar people, seek to pay all attention to themselves, and do not find anything better than shocking those surrounding their behavior. For someone hostility to the address of peers - this is an attempt to earn authority, feel your superiority or uniqueness.

Causes of manifestation of aggression

Potential aggressors are kids of the following categories:

Guys with a deficit syndrome, or in one word hyperactive. They are unnecessarily active, fuss, are not able to focus on the long time.
. Lefters differ from the rightmost not only in the dominant hand. They have completely different thinking, they are more wounded, offended. Most reduced performance and more often arise in training.
Children with impaired emotional volitional sphere. These are disturbing children, and vane, and too shy.

Some can also make a child aggressive. The kid who witnesses the scandals between the parents, who is subjected to family violence, most likely will behave hostile to others.

The lack of attention of relatives or excessive guardians can also negatively affect the behavior of the child.

Stimulants of aggression in a child

Even such small troubles in the opinion of adults can seriously upset the child and cause aggressive behavior:

Stresses with which the child meets in society.
Quarrels with friends.
School with its new, sometimes incomprehensible, laws.
First failures in study.
Unexpected situations on the street, in transport.

Infringement of the basic needs of the child, such as:

communication;
traffic;
independence.

Cruelty and violence on the TV screen and in computer games, this virtual world of the so-called "shooters", where the player rating is calculated by the number of shots and shots, very quickly captures the consciousness of a small impressionable person. And often flies into real life.

Sometimes the cause of the causing behavior of children is not aggression, but a peculiar "strength test", which they deliberately arrange for adults.

The energy of these seven-year people has a key and not to turn into devastating power, it should find a peaceful way out.

Hyperactive kids need:

training attention;
comply with a clear schedule of training sessions;
provide motor activity;
praise for good actions, trying not to pay attention to causing.

Parents and teachers should show love for children in any situation, criticize not the child himself, and his actions. The baby must know and feel that he loved. This gives him a sense of confidence and security. For the left, you need to properly organize space. In the class they should sit by the window to the left at the desk. Do not require from them without failure.

Fortunately, there are a great many ways to combat this problem. After all, each small aggressor needs a special, individual approach:

Satisfy the need in motion. Together with the baby, choose an interesting sports section interesting for him and to visit it regularly. More often to go to the nature of the whole family, contact the baby for help by the housework.
Being for children with a positive example. To behave restrained and friendly in any situation. Both at home and in society.
Hug children. Hugs are a great way to repay negative emotions. In the attack of rage, the baby cannot control his emotions, nor listen to the persuasion and comments of adults. And in the arms of a loved one, he will gradually calm down.
To bring up independence, but to show willingness to help if necessary. An independent baby is more confident and resistant to stress. At the same time, he should know that mom and dad is always there and be sure to help if necessary.
Respect the personal space of a little man. So that the child felt calmly and shared with her parents with his experiences, he must trust them. Therefore, it is necessary to respect his personal space, keep it secrets, do not overhear the conversations, not read the "secret" letters and notebooks that you like to start younger schoolchildren.
Maintain the usual way of life of your chad, keep stability in everything. Children react rather painfully to changing the usual mode, so they need to be prevented about these metamorphoses and prepare for them.
Explain how unprofitable behavior is for the child itself. In a relaxed atmosphere, you need to discuss unworthy behavior and its consequences. For example: "Now you have taken the ball with force at the girl, and now the children will think that you are unborn."

From parents, it is necessary to clearly observe the established boundaries of the behavior. The child needs a frame. In the atmosphere of permissiveness, it becomes nervous, anxious.

Therefore, it is important to clearly designate what can be done, and what is impossible. These rules must be stable and not change depending on the situation.

Methods of combating aggression in children

The first step towards victory over aggression is the ability to express your emotions with words.

In this particular case, do not do without adults.

Seeing that the baby comes out of himself, it should be calm and kindly to explain to him the reasons for his anger, show his sympathy and participation.

For example: "You're angry, because I did not have time to finish your drawing. But you can finish it at home, and tomorrow you will show us the result. " Over time, children learn and voice their experiences themselves.

For the verbal expression of the problem, there is a method of "pebbles in a boot". A teacher or parent must hold a parallel and explain the rules: "Did you ever get to the pebble shoes? Remember this unpleasant feeling when it is almost impaired, and then it starts to rub more and scratch my leg. And if it is not immediately untidy it, you can even graze corn. And when you rent a shoe, you will be surprised how small and imperceptible, this ill-fated peas. So our experiences.

Even the smallest and inconspicuous insult will be angry and hurt us while we do not tell about it. " Children are invited to compare all their troubles with the peasant. And to tell about them, use the standard phrase: "I have pebbles in the boot." Next, to state, what exactly is this pebby: pushed a classmate, a pigtail broke out, did not have time to go to the blackboard, and so on. In such a game form, it is much easier to talk about your problems.

Learning the child to express aggression in peaceful ways. There are many angry control techniques:

"Beeing pillow, or a" scream bag ", which come to the aid of an angry baby.
Humor can be an excellent assistant. Children will definitely enjoy the game "Obught". The essence of the game is to invent funny harmless challenges. You can use words on one topic: Vegetables, fruits, garments, dishes and others. And perhaps, in a conflict situation, children will want to joke in the same way instead of insulting the opponent.

Children's aggression brings a lot of experiences and the child himself, and his loved ones. And it is impossible to cope with it alone. But if there will be loving, attentive close people next to the child, he will be able to overcome any difficulties.