How to distinguish love from feelings of falling in love, affection, passion, hobbies, friendship, what a person just likes: comparison, signs, psychology, test. How long does love and falling in love last and can falling in love turn into love? How to distinguish love

05.08.2019

Love and affection are the feelings that every person experiences for their other half. Sometimes it is difficult to understand your heart and find a fine line in a relationship. Psychologists point to the close relationship of these concepts. They cannot be replaced with each other. Interacting, love and affection provide a strong union of two people. Relationships built only on affection are short-lived. Sooner or later they will destroy even the happiest family.

It is important to be in a relationship with money. See how to do it in the telegram channel! watch >>

Love and affection

Before understanding what distinguishes these two feelings, it is necessary to understand what lies behind each of them. Famous philosophers, poets, writers and composers talked about love, but in order to understand what it is, you need to experience it yourself. It is distinguished from other feelings by absolute disinterestedness, the absence of negative emotions and motives. This is a sincere desire to see a happy loved one.

Love breeds affection.

Relationships in which these feelings are woven together are filled with harmony and a state of absolute happiness. Attachment is manifested in the fact that people miss each other during a long separation. Loneliness is unthinkable for them. If there is no love in the relationship, but only affection, they will not last long. This is a physical need in a person, incomparable with love, which gives wings behind one's back. The absence of sincere feelings creates an imaginary feeling of love - a mirage that one day will completely dissolve.

The Soviet poet Vladimir Levy wrote a poem that begins with the lines: "Love is measured by the measure of forgiveness, affection is measured by the pain of farewell." These lines reveal the essence of feelings, the line between which is so difficult to distinguish, especially at the very beginning of a relationship.

How to distinguish love from infatuation

How to deal with your feelings?

There are criteria, with an objective approach to which one can distinguish love from affection:

1. Love is absolutely selfless, it does not know the pronoun "I". In marriage, spouses show sincere care and tenderness for each other. A man does not have the thought that regular cleaning and cooking is the responsibility of his wife. He gratefully accepts her work around the house and offers her his help. If a person feels only attachment to another, then personal convenience for him will remain a priority.
2. Love is hard work, attachment is some kind of agreement or habit based on mutual needs and interests. Loving people face trials that can only be overcome if their feelings are sincere.
3. Love frees a person, gives him joy. Attachment makes him a jealous owner. Often in such relationships there is unreasonable jealousy. One of the reasons for the appearance of this feeling is the unwillingness to lose a person next to whom it is “convenient” and “comfortable”.
4. A loved one is a source of inspiration, thanks to which there are strengths for accomplishments. Attachment is the constant fear of losing your partner. Fear often breeds jealousy, incredulity, obsessive thoughts. The love scene is a demonstration of inner uncertainty. This is a clear sign that a person is afraid of losing his power.
5. The presence of so-called "rituals" will help determine the characteristics of the relationship. A joint trip to relatives, gifts on significant dates, regular attendance at various events. All this is evidence that for a person, not feelings, but the external side of the relationship come first. does not care that his half does not want to support these rituals. He ceases to take into account her interests and dictates his own rules of behavior. Such communication will not last long, because every person values \u200b\u200bfreedom and does not tolerate being limited in it.

What is love? What is true love between a man and a woman?

How to understand whether it is love, or something else - attraction, love, friendship, just a habit, or even a painful addiction?

Which love is stronger, based on friendship or mutual physical attraction?

What is true love?

Similar questions have long been asked by poets, scientists and, at least once in a lifetime, each of us.

The real difficulties in understanding each other, the test of time, overcomes the doubt in the unambiguity of choosing this particular person among all possible contenders for the heart and place in life next to you.

The famous American psychologist Robert Sternberg, after his many years of research, came to the conclusion that true love has three components. By the way, his triangular model of love withstood all possible and impossible criticisms and was recognized as the closest to reality. So three mandatory components of true love are:

- Frankness or, as this component is also called, sincerity, trust, understanding, intimacy, desire to help each other, common feelings, mutual sympathy. This is the ability and desire to show one's true face to a partner without fear and fear of being misunderstood, rejected, ridiculed, condemned. At the same time, it is not necessary that you approve of all the thoughts and actions of a loved one. You know him well and understand why he thinks and acts this way. Or at least want to understand. Intimacy at the level of feelings is the emotional component of love.

Physical attraction, desire, or subjective attractiveness of a partner of the opposite sex. This is exactly the form of communication that can only be between these two men and women. It is not inherent in friendship or other forms of love, for example, related ones. Physical attraction fuels romantic feelings, has a stimulating effect on relationships, and is a source of pleasure. This is the motivational component of love.

Loyalty, devotion, the obligation to be together, the desire to share the present and future with a loved one. This includes a conscious intention and a conscious decision to remain faithful to your chosen one, despite the difficulties in the relationship. To love this particular person, despite the existence of other attractive objects of the opposite sex. This is the cognitive component of love.

So, true love includes frankness, physical attraction and fidelity.

How to distinguish true love from falling in love? There are two types of falling in love - infatuation and romantic love. The first is more inherent in physical attraction and to a lesser extent - frankness, sincerity, mutual trust. Romantic love includes both physical attraction and trust, understanding, and common feelings. Whether falling in love develops into true love depends on the desire and willingness of the two to jointly solve emerging problems, overcome difficulties, find mutual understanding, and remain faithful to each other. As a rule, over time, physical attraction, albeit a little, decreases, and frankness, mutual understanding, and common feelings increase.

How to distinguish love from passion? Everything is clear here: there is only desire, physical attraction, external, even if only subjective, attractiveness of a partner.

How to distinguishlove fromfriendship ? In friendship there is sympathy, frankness, understanding, trust, fidelity, devotion, but there is no physical attraction, desire.

How to distinguish love from sympathy? Everything is the same as for friendship, except for loyalty and devotion.

How to distinguish love from attachment (habits of being together)? In this case, there is no frankness, sincerity, understanding, trust, sympathy and, as a result, there is no real intimacy between partners. Perhaps all this was once, but at the moment and in recent times there is no commonality of feelings, open communication. There is no physical attraction, no desire. All that remained was inertial attachment, fidelity out of old habit.

How to distinguish love from addiction? In the first months after meeting, at the peak of emotions and in the grip of an all-consuming passion, falling in love can be mistaken for addiction. Falling in love caused by a hormonal surge cannot last more than six months - a year and a half. Addiction can last for years and even become stronger over time.

love addiction suggests emotional helplessness and "physical discoordination" of a person's actions without his object of love. This includes:

a feeling of joy and enjoyment of life only (!) in the presence of a partner,
the closedness of the circle of interests only on the object of love,
moreover, the latter must live for the sake of the love-dependent, satisfying his emotional and other needs,
inability to independently influence their emotional state,
inability to satisfy their own emotional needs,
complete dependence of mood on the actions or inaction of the object of love,
inability to receive help and support from others, relatives and friends,
complete lack of confidence in oneself and one's actions without the approval of the "beloved",
lack of self-confidence, in their abilities being alone or in another company.

There are two types of love addiction, and although there is little similarity between them at first glance, they are two sides of the same coin. Either a person clings to the object of his love, or deliberately pushes away because of the fear of losing his autonomy and falling into that same addiction. And the greater the risk of becoming attached, losing control of his emotions, the fear of losing a loved one, the more desperately he will avoid what he calls "love."

But back to true love. Does it exist, this perfect, ideal love? Someone will say “yes” without hesitation, and someone will think that it is very difficult, almost impossible, to find, or rather, to achieve such love.

Everything that you can imagine and for which you are ready to fight is possible. Love is a dynamic process, and what your love will be depends largely on your efforts. And true love begins with the desire to give love and the willingness to be loved.

Love and be loved!

How to distinguish love from falling in love, addiction, affection. What is true love?

4 Rating 4.00 (2 votes)

It is impossible to say with certainty exactly when the concept of love was formed. Even ancient philosophers and thinkers thought about it. It is difficult to imagine the modern world without it. There are many shades and types of this feeling. They are difficult to define and explain. And yet we will try with the help of qualified how to distinguish love from affection.

The evolution of love

At first glance, it seems that each story of human relationships is unique and unrepeatable. This is not entirely true. Love or falling in love always begins with sympathy. A person singles out one person from the surrounding crowd who seems to him the most interesting and attractive. At the very beginning of communication, the object of sympathy seems to us more and more attractive every day. Sometimes, even after a few days after meeting, the confidence comes that this is the very second half. Such feelings are nothing but love. With complete reciprocity and regular communication, love relationships begin. Gradually, lovers take off and begin to discover the shortcomings of their partner. Much of the romanticism and passion from the relationship also disappears. Comparing the beginning of the novel and its middle, it is difficult to resist disappointment. How to distinguish love from affection and understand whether it is worth trying to maintain a relationship?

Express test for love and habit

In your free time, while alone, ask yourself a couple of questions and try to answer them honestly. You can even write down all your thoughts. This exercise is advised to their clients by many practicing psychologists. Question one: what do you like about your partner? The listing of some features of appearance, social status or individual qualities of character is a direct hint that you are experiencing affection. A person who truly loves will answer that he appreciates the partner's personality, realizing all its strengths and weaknesses. Try to appreciate how this relationship has affected your life. If you are not interested in anything other than a partner, and all other people were “abandoned” by you, it is most likely about attachment. Love is a feeling that preserves and develops a person. People who love each other maintain their own interests. Such an alliance is complete, each of its participants can have their own friends and hobbies. Now you know how to distinguish love from affection. The test above can be simplified a bit. Think about how you most often talk about yourself and your partner. "We", "our", "us" are the words of true love. "I" and "he" are a clear sign of habit or affection.

Five signs of true love

Still wondering how to distinguish love from attachment to a person? Remember the five main signs that characterize a deep feeling. The first of them is constant thoughts about a loved one. During the time of falling in love or attachment, we also often think about who we have this feeling for. Most often, these are dreams of a joint future and memories of moments spent together. Love, on the other hand, is characterized by thoughts of a somewhat different nature. A person who loves never forgets that he is not alone. We warn our loved ones if we are late; we worry when they are late, we miss them when they are apart. A good way to distinguish love from attachment is to analyze the quality of communication with your loved one. If deep, you can talk with each other for hours and on any topic. Popular wisdom says that love is the desire to make the loved one happy. Indeed, without this emotion, it is difficult to imagine this feeling. inspires. For the sake of a joint future and the happiness of your beloved, you want to be better and achieve success. A loving person soberly evaluates his chosen one. The secret of love lies in the fact that, knowing all the shortcomings, we continue to love and accept a partner as he is.

Attachment Symptoms

Many people ask themselves: “How to distinguish love from attachment?” The psychology of relationships gives the exact answer. Attachment differs from love by pathological dependence on the object of sympathy. In a relationship characterized by this feeling, there is always a side that "loves" and a second side that "allows you to love yourself." Addiction manifests itself in the desire to spend as much time as possible with a loved one and the desire to possess it alone. Very often in such relationships there is a hypertrophied feeling of jealousy. At the same time, the dependent party can be very jealous of other people, including relatives, pets, and even inanimate objects. Sometimes the attachment becomes so strong that in the absence of the "beloved" there is not only a depressed moral state, but also physical symptoms of malaise.

bad or good?

At first glance, it seems that it is love-addiction that can help build strong and long-term relationships. But in fact, this is a big misconception. Attachment brings a lot of problems to each of the partners. The addict is in constant psychological stress. He is sincerely upset every time a partner is not around. Most often, experiencing affection, a person realizes how dependent he is on his soulmate. From this grows the fear that the partner may disappear from the life of the addict. The side that "allows itself to be loved" has no easier time in such a relationship. The main problem is too much attention from the partner. The addict will call every hour, demanding communication. Surely he will be offended if his beloved wants to spend the weekend without him.

Love is respect and care

Love is similar to affection and falling in love in many ways. And yet this feeling is special. No wonder it is called the highest and real. Love never brings negative emotions and is built on pure disinterestedness. If you appreciate and respect your partner for being nice to you, it's about falling in love or affection. A loving person will take care of his soulmate. He really cares about how his partner's day went, and he is always ready to talk heart to heart, help in solving problems. Experiencing love, a person knows that his chosen one is not perfect. But, despite this, he respects him and will never allow himself to speak disrespectfully of him.

Love does not love?

Understanding yourself is not easy, but it is quite possible if you wish. And how to distinguish love from attachment in marriage and understand how your spouse feels towards you? You can get an answer to this question by analyzing the behavior of your soulmate. The easiest way to recognize affection from a partner. If the other half literally suffocates you with their attention and wants to control your every step, most likely there is no love. A simple way to distinguish love from affection in men: try to understand how jealous he is. Unfortunately, constant scandals and baseless suspicions have nothing to do with love. High feelings allow partners to feel harmony. Loving people almost never swear and always respect each other.

Is it possible to love your partner after years of marriage?

Realizing that in marriage you experience not love, but affection, it is difficult to resist disappointment. How to act in such a situation? Is it really necessary to file for divorce? In fact, you can live for many years, experiencing only a feeling of affection for a partner. But there is an alternative option - to try to love it. Try to give more freedom to your chosen one. Take care of yourself, find interests outside the home and spouse. It's not your significant other in your life that will decrease. By leading an active lifestyle, you will become a more interesting person. Perhaps this will help you spend more productive and quality time with your loved one. We hope that our article on how to distinguish love from attachment has helped you understand your own feelings and improve your life.

In this article, we will look at the difference between love and falling in love.

Love, sympathy or falling in love, and sometimes just passion - these are the feelings that are familiar to each of us. Well, that's just the way we are - we will definitely be drawn to another person and we will always have a desire to be attached to someone. Love and infatuation, as well as friendship and affection, go together. Yes, they stand so close and go toe to toe that many of us confuse them or are not even aware of the presence of any feeling.

How to distinguish love from a feeling of falling in love: comparison, signs, psychology, test

Love and falling in love are very closely related, they are similar and cannot exist without each other. More precisely, how to say, love will not arise without sympathy and previous love. After all, love takes time. Therefore, these feelings are often confused. Perhaps this is due to the fact that each of us wants to find that same, true love. By the way, a lot depends on the character. There are individuals who fall in love every week with a new partner. Naturally, in this case we are talking about love.

What are the signs of love. Everyone is familiar with these riots of hormones, butterflies in the stomach, feelings of sublimity - all this is a side of the emotional aspect of falling in love.

As they say, "love at first sight" is a myth. Only love can arise. Here she will take you by surprise. And we, unfortunately, cannot choose who and when this will happen.
Falling in love starts like the flu. Yes exactly. Some scientists even attribute the status of a disease to this feeling. A person in love has mood swings, pressure surges and insomnia, and some even have headaches.
The desire to always and more be close to the person you like. Yes, now we are talking about those “random” meetings.
Lovers want to communicate, talk, act and learn something new about each other every day. And most importantly, that there is no boredom and monotony.
But a person in love often feels absent-mindedness, confusion in thoughts (from this, delusional first speeches are obtained). And what kind of rash acts love pushes. If you look at your life in the past, you already become ashamed of yourself. Yes, this item applies more to teenagers, but a person in love is susceptible to them at any age.
And how do you want to present yourself in the best quality and light. That is, a man in love, as if making it clear that he is the one.

IMPORTANT: Falling in love is more selfish, because a person in this state, first of all, thinks about himself. He wants to look, touch and be near, so that he feels good. A man in love rarely wonders what his soulmate is like. Even if such thoughts arise (purely because of common sense), personal interests and benefits always outweigh on the scales.

In a passion, you cannot be 100% sure (no, for example, girls often have thoughts about a future wedding and children), but external data (smile, eyes, gait) can evoke feelings.
By the way, when interests collide, each other's shortcomings begin to appear, which we may not accept. Some even manage to start a family or create a civil marriage. And then, a whole bunch of discontent blooms.
If you can't be around, then look with your eyes. Yes, a man in love as often as possible (almost constantly) will look for his passion with his eyes. Therefore, so often lovers meet eyes.
And yet, when we start talking with a person we like, the timbre of the voice involuntarily softens and becomes quieter.

But love already has slightly different characteristics:

The first thing I would like to highlight is time. Love does not arise quickly and spontaneously. It takes time and work on yourself (both partners). But on the other hand, one can be sure of the duration of such a feeling for many years.
We mentioned that only external data causes feelings in a person in love, and flaws can be wildly annoying. In a state of love, we perceive a person as he is. That is, they love him not for his eyes or expensive gifts, but simply for the fact that he is, he is the best and only.
There shouldn't be anyone else. That is, a person becomes everything for you. For example, a girl walks and looks at a handsome guy, and thinks to herself: “a beautiful jacket, I should buy my husband!”. You do not pay attention to others and do not even notice their positive qualities.
No, contact is maintained with friends or relatives. Even more than during the period of love. It means that no one else causes such sympathy.
With a loved one, you can just be silent. Yes, loving people can communicate, as if with a glance or at a telepathic level. And with such a person you feel calm, safe and comfortable. After all, you are in the right place.
In love, there are no thoughts of separation (divorce). Even during quarrels (they happen to everyone - this is also a natural and normal process), a loving person understands that they will reconcile, find a compromise and move on. And how else! After all, now they have become halves of one whole.
By the way, those who love do not have “mine” or “yours”, but “ours” comes to replace it. Moreover, both partners have not only common interests, but even common habits and even character traits become a little similar.
The main thing is to always work on yourself. Both partners. This also includes the feeling of forgiveness. Yes, you always need to specify the problem and seek a compromise.

IMPORTANT: A loving person is always more concerned about the state of his soul mate. That is, he does not think about his own benefit or convenience, but about making his beloved feel good and comfortable.

Now let's touch on their psychological side.

Love:

We all want to continue our family. This is inherent in nature and not only in man, but in any living creature on the planet. Therefore, there is such a feeling as falling in love. Therefore, one thing can be said - the human body itself induces a feeling of love.
By the way, love is often deceptive. A person was attracted by external data, and the mind and imagination have already done everything else. And then, when we have to face reality, we are disappointed. In other words, we idealize a partner.
Under the influence of hormones, a person rises, becomes joyful and cheerful. Moreover, the feeling of falling in love is also reflected in our luck. After all, with a positive personality, things go much higher than the rest. Therefore, being in love is even beneficial for our body.
And it is impossible not to touch upon such an aspect as parents. No, now we are not talking about the love of parents and children. Probably, many have heard that on an unconscious level we choose as partners a person who is similar (if parents are associated with positive moments) or, conversely, opposite (when parents are associated with negative memories) with our parents.

Now let's talk about love:

Love arises over the years - this is a fact. But there are also some types of love, for example, maternal or brotherly, and there is also love for a neighbor, for the Motherland or work. And, of course, there is sexual love, that is, between a man and a woman, between spouses.
Love is often confused with feelings of affection or fear of being alone. But more on that later. I just wanted to say a few words about love - the lover will not suppress her partner or create unsuitable living conditions for him, and he will not try to assert himself by any means.
And it is impossible not to note the stages of love. Yes, they exist:
- Sympathy or falling in love is a period when hormones are dancing a waltz, and rose-colored glasses are in front of your eyes.
- A glut or tipping point is the period when all the shortcomings begin to be noticed. Moreover, the glasses are off, and we really don’t like these partner’s habits. And he (or she) does not want to give them up or change them.
- Denial or the desire to quit everything follows the rose-colored glasses. It is difficult to find a compromise, the partner has many claims, and he himself does nothing for the sake of the relationship (and each of the partners thinks so). And then there are thoughts that the ideal option would be parting. Unfortunately, this is the longest period and most couples end up in a breakup.
- The beginning or birth of love occurs when partners dare to stay together and begin to work on themselves. Once again, do not confuse with hopelessness or a sense of affection. In love, care and tenderness for a loved one comes first.
- And true love, as the final stage. Unfortunately, only mature partners who have really known both joys and sorrows can achieve it. Friendship, passion, interest and spiritual intimacy should also go with love. Of course, partners must be able to get along in a team, be responsible and devoted to each other.

To finally establish the final verdict, we offer you a small test:

Pay attention to your appearance.
- A man in love is prettier and tries to attract attention as much as possible. There is a blush on the cheeks, a radiance in the eyes, and a smile on the face.
- Love does not like loud and flashy outfits. She is generally more inconspicuous, and the changes in appearance are minor.
character and conversation.
- During the period of falling in love, we try to be near our chosen one more often, and conversations can only be about him. Questions are constantly tormented: “Do I like me?”, “Do I look good?”, “Did my outfit notice?”.
- In love, there is a desire to make your soul mate only better, so that he feels good. And not only, others also fall under the distribution of happiness and help.
What emotions are overwhelmed.
- Jumps and mood swings - this is what is characteristic of falling in love. Cry because you didn’t call on time, or didn’t meet at the first break, and then at the sight of your passion, it all changes with loud laughter and high spirits.
- The weak point of lovers is their looks. There are no longer those jumps (sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly), feelings are more stable and calm.
What is the difference in behaviour.
- When falling in love, some may blush sharply, others become silent or, conversely, begin to communicate loudly and provocatively. And there are cases when shy representatives simply run away.
- In love, everything is different - with a relative (in love, he becomes like that), you feel yourself easily and at ease. There is no desire or need to show yourself from the other, unnatural side.

How to distinguish love from feelings of affection: comparison, signs, psychology, test

We have indicated above the symptoms and signs of such a feeling as love. Therefore, we will not go deeper again. Let's talk about attachment, which is also often confused with love. Falling in love is more related to schoolchildren and teenagers, but affection is more characteristic of those partners who have managed to live together.

In general, affection is a feeling of closeness, which is based on sympathy or the same love. As you can see, all these feelings are very closely interconnected.
In a couple where there is affection, one always gives and the other receives. That is, one loves, and the second turns the cheek.
Attacks of jealousy are also more related to attachment. The desire to control and completely personally possess a partner does not speak of love at all. So there is too much control. There is always room for trust in love!
Fear. An important indicator, since an attached person is afraid of losing a partner. And they are more concerned about material qualities. This is where the extra attention comes from.
Also, it is worth noting that there is no development of partners as individuals. That is, loving people can develop not only together, everyone can have their own hobby or passion.
And yet, attachment, like falling in love, is based on external qualities.
Let's also talk about distance. Attachment can at first lead to melancholy, and then, on the contrary, cause a feeling of lightness and freedom.

Therefore, you can easily pass a small test:

Again, pay attention to what you like in a partner.
How do you feel after a week off?
You put your interests above that of your partner. Or vice versa?
Now remember about the shortcomings of the partner and your attitude towards them.

Answer only honestly, and the conclusion can be drawn from the above signs.

How to distinguish love from a feeling of passion: comparison, signs, psychology, test

The Kama Sutra interprets love in its own way. Every person has three drives: mind, soul and body. In the first case, respect is born, in the second - friendship, in the third - desire (aka passion). Love is the combination of all three qualities together. We will not go around in circles for a long time and repeat ourselves, so we will immediately move on to passion.

Again, it is based only on physical sympathy.
It flares up like a forest fire. But it fades just as quickly.
Passion often makes you resolve any conflict in bed. Pay attention to how you resolve your conflicts. In love, there is always a place for calm conversations, but passion overshadows the mind.
A loving person will never offend his partner, while passion allows taunts and rudeness towards the second half.
And an important criterion! Passion can refer to several. Love is monogamous (we have already mentioned this above).

If we talk about the test, then it is enough to answer the questions from the previous paragraph. Answer honestly and quickly, and also remember (we already mentioned) such aspects as conflict resolution and flirting on the side.

How to distinguish love from a feeling of passion: comparison, signs, psychology, test

To distinguish the feeling of infatuation from love, and to understand what kind of feeling overwhelms you, it is enough just to answer the following questions. The feeling of infatuation is very similar to falling in love, but it can even be called the initial stage.

Naturally, answer honestly what attracts you in a partner. Only a few points can be called a hobby. And only external or physical aspects.
How often and for how long interest is shown. The passion is so fleeting (yes, falling in love is more permanent in this matter) that a person very quickly switches to another object. Moreover, the person goes out very quickly. He is engaged in other things, only when reminded can he remember his passion.

Again, the topic is how conflicts are resolved. With passion, of course, all roads lead to bed, but attraction is expressed by too emotional perception. Yes, a person begins to react very sharply to any comments. And any quarrel turns into a world-class conflict.
Do you care about your soul mate? This item plays an important role. Yes, love arises gradually and, naturally, people get to know each other in detail. Hobbies are selfish in nature and are aimed only at personal gain.
And it is necessary to note such an aspect - an earthly or supermundane feeling. The fact is that when carried away, only earthly needs are of interest, which are expressed by thoughts, pleasures and banal deeds. Love has no barriers, and for lovers, intimacy is in the first place.

How to distinguish love from a feeling of friendship: comparison, signs, psychology, test

They say that between a man and a woman there is never a feeling of friendship. We will not delve too deeply into this issue, since this is a “sick” and eternal topic for controversy. Maybe friendship will turn into love. Or maybe someone's feeling of sympathy, on the contrary, will destroy friendship in a few years. We will consider an example when there is only spiritual intimacy (that is, friendship) or the desire for the body (love) already appears.

How do you behave. If it is easy and at ease, do not be afraid to make yourself look ridiculous, then there is only friendship between you. No, in love, too, no one experiences tension, but it comes with age. Communication goes to another level, and it is different from all other friendships.
There should be no place for jealousy in friendship. You easily communicate with the passion of a friend (girlfriend) or you can simply discuss the person you like. And no negative. That is, a person specifically does not want to put a passion in a bad light. Of course, if the circumstances really do not require it.
Care. No, friends also take care of each other, but lovers do it differently. You will not be able to allow a loved one to snack on dry food or junk food (or drink a lot of alcohol), but a friend will sit down for such a meal with you.
Analyze time apart. How often do you remember a friend, but think about who and what you do with. Friends don't have this issue. They live their lives.
How do you feel about a friend's criticism of you? As a rule, a loving person wants to show himself from the best side. Of course, it is still too early to talk about deep love, but its initial stage will not let you listen to reproaches or even comic barbs addressed to you. The words of a friend are perceived easier, moreover, you can even laugh at them together.

Of course, you can endlessly consider examples of love and friendship, but to understand your feelings, the above five points are enough.

How to distinguish love from feeling that a person just likes: comparison, signs, psychology, test

We won't beat around the bush. Since we have considered several options, simple sympathy is similar to ordinary love or infatuation. The only difference is that we can like many representatives. One person who likes has beautiful eyes, and the other has a smile, and the third jokes well. But! All of them have negative sides, which we immediately notice.

That is, in a simply sympathetic person, we single out only one or two qualities that we like.
And this is necessarily either external data, or just some kind of behavior.
I don't want to be around all the time. You can have your own life, but you remember about passion only if necessary.
With the person we like, we always feel embarrassed and awkward.
And sympathy can fade away very quickly, and in general it is characterized by its inconstancy. Appear someone who has more beautiful eyes, and attention will switch to him.

What is the difference between true love and other feelings: psychology

We have indicated what are the main features of each of the senses and how to recognize them. Therefore, we will not repeat ourselves, but simply summarize the information.

Love is a feeling that arises gradually and after a certain time.
A person is loved in the overall picture, yes, for his soul (as they often say). No, external data is also important, but not put in the first place.
Love includes friendship, passion, and spiritual intimacy.
Love does not idealize like other feelings. A person is perceived with all the pluses and minuses. And they love it because it is just there and nearby.
Love does not require constant presence (like falling in love), control (like affection), and at a distance or through time it does not pass and does not go out (like passion).

In love, they always put their soul mate above their hobbies, amenities, and even happiness. More precisely, in a loving person, it consists in making the partner feel good.
You can have your own entertainment, hobbies and even different friends. But this does not become a reason for jealousy and conflicts on this basis. This is what love is.
Don't forget to pay attention to those around you. Love has enough time and attention for everyone, and even a piece of your happiness. Other feelings are simply fixated on one person until they go out. Or until they develop into something bigger and higher.
And once again we will touch upon the topic of conflicts. In love, quarrels become rare over time. Yes, the reason for this is that you perceive your partner completely and completely, and with all the shortcomings. Moreover, they are also easier to solve. Conversations are calmer, and compromise is easier to find.

Can there be love without falling in love?

No, he can not. All these stages of sympathy must necessarily go through the lover. Moreover, love also requires friendship and mutual respect. The fact is that everything is thought out to the smallest detail by nature.

If it were not for the hormones and the euphoria of falling in love, then not a single couple would have lived together for more than a week.
- Remember that conflict is normal. After all, two different people are on the scales. If everyone does not begin to regulate the scales on their part, then they will continue to outweigh and fluctuate.
Next comes the habit. Yes, her role is also important. You don’t need to live only out of habit or attachment, it’s just that at that turning point when you want to drop everything and run away, it’s just that – attachment that slows you down.

And only then, when you go through the “seven circles of family problems”, learn to put up and accept your partner as he is, then love will begin to engender.
And then, for its development, you need to constantly work on yourself and your relationships.

How long does love and falling in love last and can falling in love turn into love?

They say "love lasts 3 years". This is both true and wrong at the same time. This is the period of love. When the butterflies from the stomach are gone, and you begin to look at the world with a sober look. By the way, for some, this period develops in different ways - from 6 months to 4 years. Love is born for a long time and has no definite time. They say that it is eternal. Yes, love can really last a lifetime.

Love and Love: a parable

There is a very informative, instructive and touching parable. The essence of the parable is that Love will forgive and endure much, except for Indifference.

It would seem that thousands of books have been written about love, and how many grandiloquent phrases and beautiful words have been spoken! But the theme does not become obsolete and never will become obsolete. What is love? What is attachment? How to distinguish love from falling in love? ?

Most of the minds of mankind agree that love (or, perhaps, its classic version) consists of four phases: infatuation, falling in love, love and affection.

The first step is passion

Love is always born from infatuation. The man saw an attractive representative of the opposite sex, for some reason or something he attracted his gaze - and away we go. The basis of the feeling of passion is a huge admiration for the unique abilities of a girl or a man, his character traits or fantastic talent. However, you can also get carried away by the plump lips of a lady, gorgeous breasts, long legs, a pumped-up figure of a man and his brilliant smile - only external data.

This, of course, is far from love, and this feeling usually lasts for several weeks or a couple of months, according to knowledgeable researchers. Infatuation can eventually develop into love, or it can end quickly, and a person’s attention will immediately switch to a new object.

The second phase is love

The feeling of falling in love smoothly emerges from passion. This happens when you continue to communicate with the person who once attracted you. At some point in a person’s mind, the importance of the positive qualities of the chosen one, which once caused enthusiasm, increases, and the degree of negative ones decreases literally to zero. In fact, during this phase, the idealization of the partner is observed. How is love different from falling in love? People fall in love not with a person, but with an ideal created by them.

Falling in love lasts much longer than passion - from 2 months to six months. Most often, falling in love develops into love, as it is its upcoming phase. But there are exceptions to the rule - in this case, the ideal created is quickly destroyed and disappointment sets in. No need then to try to understand, at that time it still did not exist as such!

The third stage - classic love

If you have found your soul mate, then the feeling of falling in love will be replaced by love, that very aesthetic and moral feeling, expressed in a disinterested desire for a partner. True love is a selfless devotion to a dear person, a combination of actions and feelings directed at him. Researchers call this a sensual pinnacle in the relationship of subjects of opposite sexes who like each other.

Only if people really love are they ready to legitimize their relationship, so in this period, about 90 percent of marriages between a man and a woman take place. Life, however, is a cruel thing, and often unrequited love develops into real tragedies. Love is a long-lasting feeling, according to scientists, it lasts from 3 to 5 years, and then subsides, goes out, moving into the next phase of human relationships. At this stage, no need to think, it just continues to develop.

The final phase - attachment

The feeling gradually weakens, and love is replaced by affection. How to distinguish love from affection? This period comes after several years of living together, when there is no flame of passion, but there is devotion to a partner, a desire to be near. It is a feeling of calm when you are next to your loved one. According to scientists, it can last until the end of life.

But there is another important question - how to distinguish love from habit? Indeed, sometimes a person just gets used to being close to a partner, gets used to seeing only him and communicating with him. But if you leave for a while and stop seeing each other, this feeling will go away. So, this person was not needed for you.

Of course, love does not always arise according to the rules and corresponds to some kind of pattern. A real feeling can flare up immediately, without passion or love.