Fitness and healthy lifestyle 

“Execution cannot be pardoned”, or what to do if the child is nervous and naughty. What to do if the child is nervous and naughty

All parents know the feeling of affection for their child - it is easy to admire the baby when he is smiling, complaisant. But in children, the mood changes quickly, now mom and dad are a little confused, watching the whims of the crumbs. Further - more: if adults are not able to calmly understand the reasons for the child's bad behavior in a timely manner, it risks becoming the norm for many years to come. So, what to do if the child is nervous and naughty?

We are looking for the guilty

Any expression of childish disobedience, from ignoring simple instructions to violent tantrums in the store, have one purpose - to influence the "spectator". Often, relatives succumb to provocation, go on about the baby. Buying another doll or car will not solve the problem. Bizarre desires, nervousness and disobedience are a way to attract attention, the child does not know other methods.

Analyze family relationships. Powerful parents sometimes emphasize their authority too much, involuntarily provoking a child to protest - the child becomes nervous, disobedient. The opposite situation turns into no less acute conflicts, when the little man is left to himself, and mom and dad are always busy. The desire to be convinced of one's own importance gives rise to defiant behavior, and the attempts of adults to simply pay off with another gift will only aggravate the situation.

Often, parents who have gone headlong into work shift the task of raising a child to grandparents. At first, this exit suits everyone, but after a few years it turns out that the little man is completely uncontrollable, growing nervous, naughty. There is nothing to be surprised, respect for parents is laid in early childhood.

Another nuance is the adequacy of parental requirements. Mothers who have read books on child psychology and early development tend to harass their child with nit-picking, scolding for the slightest offense. The brain of a small child is simply unable to remember a lot of new information at once, and teenagers are very sensitive to criticism. Yes, boys and girls aged 15-16 are also children, their psyche is not yet fully formed - do not forget about it.

If you can't blame yourself for not paying enough attention and respect for your child, read the following list of common causes of child disobedience. Perhaps one of the points is quite applicable to the situation in your family, you just do not want to notice the obvious.

Fixing bugs

It happens that in a married couple who approached the issue of raising children reverently and responsibly, their beloved caressed child suddenly becomes nervous and disobedient, despite all attempts to smooth out conflict situations. There can be a great many reasons, here are the most frequent “misses” of parents:

  • Too many restrictions. Anyone will be pissed off by angry, frightened shouts: you can’t, don’t touch, don’t go, don’t take, don’t look. Just sit down and sit, it's so calm. Keeping a child safe is a direct task of parents, so remove dangerous objects, minimize the risk of domestic injuries, and tirelessly monitor the movements of the young why-why child. So you save your nervous system and keep the balance of the child's psyche. Constant taboos will make the baby nervous, naughty;
  • Once you can't, you can't always. A clear designation of the boundaries of what is permitted helps the child to form a stable view of the world. Discuss the established rules with all household members: often compassionate grandmothers slip forbidden chips to their grandchildren, they are allowed to stay up until midnight and, in general, do everything that is impossible at home. The result - the child abruptly becomes naughty;
  • Divergence of words with actions. It is you who are the role model, the child is guided by your behavior. First of all, take care of yourself, be consistent: forbidding the baby to eat sweets at night, do not rustle candy wrappers in the evening;
  • No taboo. Permissiveness has nothing to do with parental trust. It is convenient to explain the rudeness and aggression of the little rebel by the inability to forbid anything - they say, we love too much, so we indulge. It usually turns out that mom and dad are just too lazy to build a consistent line of education, hence the disobedience of the offspring;
  • Provocation. Unfulfilled promises, deceit, betrayal deeply hurt the psyche of the child. The response will be protest. Sincerely ask for forgiveness if you are guilty before your son or daughter, explain the reasons for the misconduct. Provocations include humiliation, constant comparisons with other children, which lower the child's self-esteem;
  • Lack of authority. Psychologists' calls to treat children as equals are often taken too literally. A child is an independent person who has the right to his own opinion, but is obliged to obey adults. Let him choose which hat to wear from those offered, but whether to wear it at all or not, mom decides, this is not discussed;
  • Adult quarrels. Children painfully react to any conflicts between dad and mom, becoming nervous, withdrawn. You will soon forget about a minor quarrel, and the baby will relive what he saw for a long time. Solve controversial issues strictly in private, protect the child from unpleasant scenes;
  • Jealousy. For the appearance of a younger brother or sister, the child should be prepared by explaining that you will not become less fond of him and appreciate him. Entrust the older offspring with some of the care of the newborn - walking with a stroller, washing bottles. The fact of trust will increase children's self-esteem.

I'm going for the trick

Faced with the problem of childish disobedience, do not expect to find a universal solution that instantly works - it will take a lot of patience, various cunning tricks. Turning on your fantasy, you will certainly come up with several ways to defuse the atmosphere in the family, but for starters, you can use proven tricks:


Some children are nervous and rebellious by nature, they are called hyperactive. Hyperactivity is a neurological diagnosis, it is made only by a doctor, who also prescribes drug therapy. If the standard methods for the child do not work, his condition causes you concern, visit a pediatric neurologist to confirm or refute your fears.

Experiencing age crises

Raising children is a long process. During this time, the child's nervous system is going through several important stages and turning points - crises:


Difficulties in relations between different generations have been and will be, this is normal, although sometimes the child is not just naughty, but nervous, uncontrollable. In such cases, child psychologists agree on one thing: regardless of age, children are in dire need of the attention of their parents, and when they are convinced of their love and understanding, they change before our eyes.

Ideal children do not exist, but for any parents, their child is the most beloved. And it happens very bitterly when a little man becomes nervous and naughty, or even simply uncontrollable - behavioral disorders can range from mild negativity to severe tantrums and severe aggression. Why this happens and how parents should act in such cases - first things first.

Disobedience or sickness? Causes of behavioral disorders

In some cases, nervousness, irritability, aggressiveness are caused by neurological disorders. But such serious disorders do not occur out of the blue, but are the result of a difficult pregnancy or childbirth, infectious diseases, traumatic brain injuries, and some other reasons. In these situations, the doctor makes a diagnosis and prescribes treatment.

Often violate the generally accepted norms of behavior and hyperactive children. They do this not from evil or to achieve some specific goals or to obtain benefits, but because of the imbalance of the nervous system, when excitation prevails over inhibition. It will help to draw up a correctional program for such children. General recommendations - a calm environment, avoidance of noisy gatherings and exciting situations.

In most cases, the causes of disobedience, irritability, rudeness, tearfulness, hysteria of children are the mistakes of the parents themselves.

The first reason is authoritarianism.

Constant pulling and prohibitions (both excessive and inadequate) without explanation. Children become either intimidated and anxious, afraid of their parents, or forced to begin to lie and dodge.

The second factor is overprotection

The child is not allowed to take a step on his own, they protect him from everything, he is fully served. A child in such an environment either grows up absolutely infantile, or "explodes" and violently protests, "breaking free."

The third reason is the lack of a unified approach to education

Mom forbade - dad allowed, today you can’t - tomorrow you can. The kid does not feel support in any of the parents, adapts to each, is cunning, can only obey one parent and be rude to another or achieve what he wants with tantrums.

The fourth source is quarrels and disagreements in the family

The child loves both parents, often considers himself the culprit of scandals or divorce. He may become withdrawn or anxious and aggressive.


The fifth factor is the lack of quality attention

Parents who work hard and play active roles in society get very tired and replace full-fledged communication with the child with gifts and a lot of toys. In other cases, he does not get even this - mom or dad falls on the sofa without strength and only brushes off the child. In this case, he “gets” the missing attention, provoking his parents with disobedience - negative emotions are better for him than none.

The sixth reason is jealousy

The child is jealous of his parents for younger children and “pulls the blanket over himself”, showing this by “falling into childhood” with tantrums, whims and lisping - also to get attention. He can also make faces like a little one without younger brothers or sisters - believing that babies have more privileges.

The seventh source of problems is insufficient vocabulary and the inability to express one's emotions

Wanting to insist on his own, to prove his importance and adulthood, the child cries, screams, stamps his feet and even beats in hysterics.

To cope with the "wrong" behavior of the heir, parents need to determine its cause and correct their mistakes.

  • Children are sensitive to our inner state, they capture all shades of emotions. Try to communicate with the child, disconnect from external problems and give him maximum attention. It is not even the quantity that is important here, but the quality - 15 minutes of a sincere conversation is better than an hour of “loneliness together”, when the child is on his own, and the mother is busy with household chores or talking on the phone.
  • Do not crush the child with hyperprotection and excessive restrictions.
  • Develop well-defined, well-grounded rules and stick to them at all times. Both parents should lead the same line in education - knowing a clear framework and understanding their need, it is easier for a child to adapt to the external environment.
  • When “falling into childhood”, unobtrusively demonstrate the benefits and privileges of “adulthood” - games, activities, respectful attitude of others.
  • When aggressive attacks do not succumb to provocations, do not break into a cry. Be patient - some age-related manifestations the child just needs to “outgrow”.
  • Do not put yourself above the child, in a difficult situation, be sure to establish visual and tactile contact with him - squat down, look into his eyes, take his hand, and only then calmly express your wishes to him.
  • Give your child the opportunity to choose and express themselves and their abilities.

As you can see, there are a lot of reasons for children's disobedience, but with the right approach and the desire to establish contact, parents can quite cope with the problematic behavior of children, given the recommendations given. Be sure to keep in mind that you will need to adhere to the established rules all the time, not succumbing to manipulation and only adjusting the “boundaries of what is permitted” as the child grows up.

Very often at the reception pediatric neurologist or mom's psychiatrist complain about "wrong" behavior, difficult character son or daughter. Like, they are unrestrained, rude, any remark causes them an outburst of irritation, they often miss lessons, leave school ... Not every “difficult” child is necessarily sick, but doctors consider some forms of violation of the behavior of children manifestation of nervousness.

In a nervous child, changes in behavior sometimes appear as early as preschool age. They are most often expressed as hyperexcitability and restlessness. At this age, the process of inhibition is still not sufficiently developed, the process of excitation predominates, so it is difficult even for a healthy child to suppress his desire for movement. The child looks at adults with surprise: how can they sit for so long? You rarely hear a child complain that he is tired of playing or running, but often he says to his parents: “ I'm tired of sitting».

Why are they "different"?

Increased activity is characteristic of healthy children. However, it differs from aimless, chaotic restlessness of a nervous child. Nervous kids move a lot, fuss, everything the environment attracts their attention, but not for long: they take a toy and immediately throw it away, demand to read a fairy tale, but very quickly stop listening to it, get distracted. This anxiety is usually accompanied talkativeness, and the child's statements are inconsistent, fragmentary. He endlessly asks questions, but without waiting for an answer, he himself begins to talk about something. With fatigue, a change in the situation, the appearance of a new person in the house, when traveling, the baby becomes especially excited, naughty, can't sit still.

Motor restlessness, disinhibition often occur in children who have undergone a number of diseases or head injuries. This behavior of the baby is easily fixed with the wrong attitude of the parents towards him.

Noting the excessive anxiety of the child, parents should not constantly make comments to him. As already mentioned, the process of inhibition in such a child is weakened and he is unable to suppress his excessive mobility. It is necessary to send her to useful activities, give the child feasible assignments around the house, keep him busy with games related to movement (rolling a car, folding blocks, etc.). The child should be allowed to run freely in the yard without worrying that he will stain his clothes. To strengthen the nervous system of the baby, it is necessary to ensure that he observes daily regime(correctly alternated hours of study and rest). For him, frequent visits by guests, a long stay on holidays are harmful.

Constant prohibitions, remarks, punishments lead to the fact that some children have protest reaction: they do everything in defiance of their elders, scream, fall to the floor, stomp their feet, try to fight.

Such a reaction can occur not only in motorally disinhibited children. At the age of 3-4 years, the child develops desire for independence, he wants to do everything himself: dress, eat, play. And many parents, fearing that the child will drop the glass, burn himself or dress incorrectly, limit him. It is against these restrictions that the child begins to protest. Such upbringing can cause protest in older children. Let's look at a few typical situations that will help see the difference between strict and overly strict, between the caring and overly caring attitude of parents towards their children. Parenting is a very delicate matter, in which it is sometimes difficult to draw the line between right and wrong, which is why we, in conversations with worried parents, have to operate with such words as “too much”, “not enough”, “too much”, etc. But this particular , sorry for the primitive comparison, “over- or underweight”, which seems completely harmless to an adult, can deeply hurt the child’s psyche and start the mechanism of inappropriate behavior, "uncontrollability" of the child.

Carrot and stick

Sasha's protest against adults was expressed in refusal to read aloud in class and at home. Sasha's mother always demanded that her son obey her, she forbade him a lot, without explaining the reasons for the ban. One day a child asked permission to take a toy with him. The mother, without explaining why she was doing this, threw the toy out of the bag. Another time, when Sasha quarreled with the boy and hit him, the mother turned and left the child, causing a long cry and tears...

This was the reaction of the baby to the too "cool" treatment of the mother. A refused to read aloud Sasha after his mother in the presence of classmates said he was the worst reader. The boy was offended, wept, threw away the book, and for several weeks he could not be forced to pick up the book. So excessive (and unreasonable) exactingness, remarks made in a harsh form, hurting the child's pride, can lead to a violation of behavior.

Threats, constant fear of punishment make the baby "downtrodden", timid, dependent. Some kids get in this situation deceitful, insincere.

Especially adversely affect the health, development of the personality of the child conflicts between parents in education. Often one of them is overly strict and demanding, fully strives to subjugate the child to his will, while the other (most often the mother) protects him from such a harsh attitude of his father, “secretly” indulges whims, tries to please with a new toy, sweets, but in case of disobedience, resorts to father's authority, threatens to complain to him, reminds him that "father will punish."

Here second situation, drawing how relations developed in a family where two children grow up. Mother does not work, and Katya and Seryozha are always under her supervision. The father with the children is very strict, he achieves the unquestioning fulfillment of all his instructions, without explaining their necessity. Once on the train, he did not allow the boy to take off his warm sweater, despite the fact that it was very stuffy and hot. The ban was due to the fact that the boy put on a sweater without permission, and in response to his father's warning that it would be hot, he gave his word not to complain. The father believes that only with such upbringing will children grow strong-willed, courageous, independent.

Mother - a caring, affectionate, kind woman, pities the children, tries to free them from unnecessary stress, believing that they are overtired. Pitying the children, she often, in the absence of her father, cancels his orders, pampers them, and allows them a lot.

And children do not grow up the way their parents would like. They restless, nervous and irritable, Seryozha even got nervous tick(twitching of the muscles of the face and shoulders). In the absence of a father, children are rude to their mother and others, demand that their whims be fulfilled, quarrel and fight. At school, they often have conflicts with classmates. When the father is at home, outwardly peace is restored in the family, the children do everything that their parents tell them. But this obedience to Katya and Seryozha is only an external form of behavior, but in essence they are growing. undisciplined, insincere.

In the family, despite parental love, the conditions of upbringing turned out to be very difficult for children. They have to adapt to constantly changing conditions, they develop not an integral character, as we would like, but bad habits and skills. Moreover, these conditions cause stress on the nervous system, as a result of which Serezha developed a nervous tic.

Quarrels and strife

A common reason for a change in a child's behavior is quarrels, disagreements between parents. Children are painfully experiencing this, they are in a state of anxiety, become shy, whiny. Older children have impaired performance, they complain of fatigue, headaches.

Lyuba's parents wonder why their daughter's character has changed. The girl was always affectionate, cheerful, cheerful. And now, when she is 9 years old, she is highly excitable, whiny, fussy, twitching her shoulders. Lyuba became gloomy, distrustful, unsociable, does not like to talk about herself, closes ...

Over the past two years, the situation in the family has changed. Father comes home drunk more and more often. Watching frequent quarrels, Lyuba cannot figure out what is happening between her parents, but she constantly in a state of nervous tension. She turns to her father, then to her mother and asks them not to offend each other, she feels sorry for both. Parents love the girl, worry about her, but with their intemperance they themselves harm her.

In an unfriendly family, where quarrels and strife are frequent, where they are rude to each other, the child often manifests rudeness, unkindness to others, these character traits are fixed, the person becomes difficult to communicate. At school, the child comes into conflict with teachers, since there is no authority for him.

Children are very receptive, they easily adopt the form of behavior and attitude towards others, which they are used to observing in their loved ones. So raising a child is, first of all, great demands on oneself.

Childhood fears

Often the first sign of nervousness is fears at an early age. The child is afraid of the dark, scary characters in books, afraid to be alone in the room, afraid for his life and health. However, fearfulness and fears are not always a sign of a disease state. The child is just getting to know the world around him, much at first seems incomprehensible to him, and therefore scary. With age, as life experience accumulates, acquaintance with new phenomena, fears usually disappear.

Fear as a manifestation of nervousness can arise under the influence fears, scary stories, with an unexpected change of scenery, with troubles and quarrels in the family. Even a dog, a cat, a loud cry, a whistle of a steam locomotive can cause fear in a small child, especially if the child has not seen or heard all this before.

And again I want to resort to examples from medical practice.

Gala is 5 years old. For a year now, she has been waking up not only at night, but also during daytime sleep, crying, screaming, repeating that she is seeing a terrible dream. about Baba Yaga". These fears appeared in Gali after she heard a fairy tale from a kindergarten teacher. How can this be explained? It turned out that only in kindergarten Galya began to read books for the first time ...

Fright response in a young child especially easily occurs at a time when it is weakened by any disease. After an illness, a child is usually capricious, requires increased attention. And adults try to entertain him by any means - they read books, but not always suitable ones, they allow him to watch programs on TV. Parents do not take into account that during this period a minor irritant, some kind of surprise that seems harmless to them, can cause fear in the child.

Four-year-old Nina suffered a severe form of mumps, ate poorly, and was capricious. Her parents did their best to cheer her up and calm her down. They read all the children's books that were in the house to her, bought a lot of new ones, and turned on the TV in the evenings. The girl liked it, and if the TV was turned off, she began to cry. Parents felt sorry for Nina, and they obeyed her demand. After some time, Nina began to wake up in the middle of the night in fear. She trembled, cried, did not let go of her mother, shouted that she was afraid of "uncle", pointed to the TV and repeated: "He is there, he is there."

A strong fear can also cause fears in a healthy child. This state sometimes lasts for a long time.

Fears suffered by a child at an early age, if appropriate measures are not taken to eliminate them, can lead to the development of a painful condition, to the formation of negative character traits: children grow up fearful, timid, they are lost in new conditions. At school they anxious, afraid of a verbal answer at the blackboard. They spend all their free time preparing lessons, trying to memorize the task carefully, they are afraid that they will not be able to answer the teacher's questions. At school, they are anxiously waiting for the teacher's call, and if they are asked, they forget what they have carefully learned. The immediate reason for the fear of answering in the classroom may be the ridicule of children with an unsuccessful answer. But this fear arises, fear is usually in children who have had signs of nervousness before.

When a child develops a sense of fear, special approach to him from the parents. Do not force a child to overcome fear. In the first days after the fright, it is necessary to exclude all talk about the subject that frightened him, try to create a calm environment. It is recommended to consult a doctor who will prescribe the necessary medicine. In the future it is very important gradually introduce the child to the object that he was afraid of, - games, conversations, examples. Try to convince him that there is no reason for fear. So, if a child is afraid of any animal, it is useful to pet this animal in his presence, to play with him.

In order to prevent the appearance of fear and the development of such character traits as timidity, fearfulness, indecision, it is necessary to educate the child in activity from an early age. He must fulfill hard work, dress yourself, and when older, make your bed, help set the table, clean the dishes. It is important that the child constantly has certain duties, the fulfillment of which is necessary for others.

You obviously noticed that in the course of my conversation I emphasized the fact that there are deviations in the behavior of a healthy child caused by mistakes in upbringing, and here it is enough parents themselves to analyze and correct their behavior, family relationships. As assistants, you can attract popular literature, consult with a school teacher, a psychologist. But there are deviations in the behavior of the child, which already indicate a painful state of his psyche. This is where professional help is needed. psychoneurologist, psychotherapist.

We have such specialists, and there is no need to drag out a visit to them, there is no need to be afraid that this will be misinterpreted by neighbors, relatives, teachers. After all, the most important thing for you is the health of the child.

Natalia GRIGORYEVA, Candidate of Medical Sciences.
Published in Health and Success, No. 1, 1997.

The concept of "nervous child" is very capacious and, depending on specific situations, can cover a different set of behavioral characteristics. What unites different unbalanced children is only our negative attitude towards the reactions that occur in the baby in response to his interaction with the outside world in general, and with us, his family and friends, in particular.

A nervous child can be whiny and shy, aggressive, overly irritable, excitable or hysterical. Whichever of the reactions prevail in your baby, the root of evil, as a rule, is always the same - mistakes in education. Accordingly, nervousness should be “treated” by correcting such errors.

Physiological causes of childhood imbalance

To begin with, let's try to get by with "little blood" in correcting a nervous character. Physiological factors also influence the behavior of children, especially younger ones.

The conditions that, first of all, you need to create for your child for the full development and formation of him as a person:

  • established daily routine;
  • sufficient sleep;
  • proper nutrition;
  • proportionate physical activity;
  • personal hygiene.

If all physiological conditions are created, but the baby still remains nervous, then you need to adjust your relationship with him.

If the baby is nervous, then it is beneficial for him.

Children are very practical people. If they, consciously or unconsciously, make their choice in favor of nervousness, and not calmness and poise, it means that it is beneficial for them, and it means that you, at one time, showed them how to use nervousness in their own interests.

Situation: Mom is busy, and her daughter needs something from her. The baby asks calmly - the mother answers “Yes, now, wait” and continues to do her own thing, then the daughter asks more insistently, and only when she breaks down to crying does her mother notice her and give her what she needs. Gradually, the baby develops an understanding that it is easier to immediately present your requirements in the form of a tantrum - then it will be fulfilled faster.

Mom in this situation should have done this: if she can fulfill the demand of her son or daughter and there are no reasons for refusal, then this must be done immediately, without waiting for hysteria. If the requirement is impossible, then you need to explain why it cannot be met, and not indulge in a whim, even when your offspring is crying and hysterical. The baby should not form a model of interaction with others “I cry - I get what I want”, our goal is “I ask normally - I am rewarded”. In other words, children need to create conditions in which it is beneficial for them to be calm and healthy, and not aggressive and capricious.

Parental composure and consistency

If the moment has long been lost, then your task now is to be cool and make the mechanism work in the opposite direction, reward the child when he is calm and constructive, praise him for being able to calm down quickly and encourage him in every possible way for his poise, even if it looks artificial.

The next aspect that contributes to the formation of nervous behavior in a child is the inconsistency of parents in the system of rewards, prohibitions and punishments.

This means when the same act of a child in one situation is interpreted as negative and punished for it, but in some other context it is not noticed. This also includes the model of parental behavior when they put forward a requirement to a child, but nine times out of ten they do not make sure that this requirement is met, and on the tenth they go straight to punishment, and for the first nine too.

For instance: the son watches TV, and every time his mother passes by, she calmly says: “Turn off the TV.” Children interpret such a request as optional.

It would be correct to say:“You watch another 2 minutes and turn it off,” and after 2 minutes inform that the time is up, come up and turn it off. The child can put forward counter demands, ask for another 5 minutes, and if this is not important, then the mother can allow, and after 5 minutes turn off the TV. The child, most likely, will object, but less, because his requirement is fulfilled, he is considered.

The power of the parent word

If parents want to see a child balanced and obedient, then they must do everything to ensure that their word does not lose its meaning in the eyes of children.

When you make a demand, be prepared to go all the way and see to it that it is met, otherwise don't make it.

It's the same with threats - if you say, "If you do this again, I'll punish you," then you must punish. If you are not sure that you can realize a promise or a threat, do not promise or threaten.

Expediency of bans

Children of the earliest age instructions “Do not touch!”, “Sit still!” are also interpreted as requirements, not mandatory, because by reproducing these phrases, the parents themselves are well aware that the child will continue to touch, run, jump. Phrases like "You can't yell on the bus!" or "Don't eat with your hands!" are also very doubtful, because how is it impossible when the baby is successfully doing just that, while he thinks “I scream and eat with my hands, so it’s possible”, in the end - our “impossible” is worth absolutely nothing, we have a nervous child, what to do and how it happened, we do not understand.

Prohibitions take place in education only when it is really necessary.

If in a third-party setting or in a different mood you would not limit the child, then it is better to immediately explain to him how this situation differs from similar ones. For example, “We are visiting and there is an elderly grandmother in the house who has a headache just now, so we will not sing karaoke. Let's go home - then you can."

Proportionate emotional and mental stress

The harmonious state of the child is balance and a tendency to compromise, if you stop observing this in your child, then there is a failure in the processes of excitation and inhibition. Either one of them has become dominant, or they replace each other too quickly or randomly.

The most common cause of childhood nervousness is an overload of the excitation process.

This is not necessarily a systematic state of the child - nervousness can manifest itself situationally. For a baby, this is an excess of information, too rapid a change of events, a large number of impressions that he cannot digest. For a school-age child, this may be too much academic and extracurricular workload. Dose emotions and loads.

Modeling the semantic load of events

Nervousness develops very easily with unpleasant or terrible impressions, both constant and isolated. Moreover, the situation does not have to be objectively catastrophic - it is more important what meaning the child himself gives it. Here the reaction of the child is a complete reflection of the reactions of his parents and those close to him.

Even the classic cause of childhood neurosis, the divorce of parents, can be more easily endured by a child if the relatives do not dramatize the situation and do not escalate the situation.

Artificial lowering of the importance and tragedy of any most unpleasant event on the part of parents eliminates the negative impact of this situation on the child and, accordingly, reduces the risk of nervousness.

If a child grows up in an atmosphere of nervousness, where parents do not talk, but constantly shout at the child and at each other, where the child observes the most extreme manifestations of emotions by people close to him, there is nothing surprising in the fact that he absorbs everything that happens and reproduces you what observes around you. Your task is to learn to carry a positive charge yourself and then you will not notice how your attitude will be transmitted to others and, first of all, to your once unbalanced child. Be attentive to your children, because their nervousness can be a manifestation. Here, all your efforts and love will already be needed to correct the situation when it could have been avoided. Love and hug your children more often, this is conducive to peace.

Psychologist, psychotherapist, personal well-being specialist

Svetlana Buk

The psychologist tells how the child's neurosis is connected with problems in the family:

Whims, disobedience and childhood neuroses - what is primary and what is the consequence? Some mothers consider the noisy tantrums of their children to be a manifestation of a disorder in his nervous system, but it happens the other way around - endless whims and inappropriate behavior lead to the emergence of childhood neuroses.

Nervous child - illness or disobedience

The nervousness of children is associated with deviations in their behavior - increased excitability, tearfulness, sleep disturbance, irritability and impressionability. A nervous child is difficult to communicate, spoils the mood of others, but first of all, the inadequacy of behavior changes his life, depriving him of simple childish joys. Many years of research prove that the causes of childhood nervousness in most cases are laid down in early childhood and are the result of improper upbringing.

The nervousness and disobedience of young children are so closely intertwined that it is sometimes difficult to figure out who is to blame - parents or their children. Among the many reasons for disobedience, the main ones can be distinguished:

1. The desire of the child to attract attention to himself - noticing that much more parental emotions are manifested if he commits any misconduct, the baby suffering from a lack of affection unconsciously uses a proven method.

2. A child, limited in independence and tired of numerous prohibitions, defends his freedom and opinion by the method of protest disobedience.

3. Children's revenge. There can be many reasons for it - the divorce of father and mother, failure to fulfill promises, unfair punishment, inappropriate behavior of one of the parents.

4. The child's own impotence, the inability to perform any actions available to others.

5. Diseases of the nervous system of children, mental disorders.

Despite the fact that only in the last paragraph problems with the nervous system are named as the cause of disobedience, each of them convincingly indicates a close connection between the child's behavior and his psychological state.

Children's neuroses - causes and signs

The fragile and unformed nervous system of children is extremely susceptible to neurosis and mental disorders, so the baby’s strange behavior, his whims and tantrums should alert attentive parents and prompt them to take immediate action. Constant stress, prohibitions, lack of attention gradually accumulate and develop into a painful state - neurosis. Doctors call this term a disorder of the child's psyche of a transient nature caused by all sorts of stressful situations. Neurosis may be the cause of the child's inappropriate behavior, or may be the result of it.

Most often, neurosis develops by about five or six years, although an attentive mother notices some of its individual signs much earlier. Particular attention should be paid to the behavior of the child during periods of age-related changes in the psyche - from 2 to 4 years, from 5 to 8 years and in adolescence. The causes of disorders of the nervous system of children can be considered the following:

- traumatic situations - alcoholism of parents, divorce, quarrels with peers, adaptation in a children's institution;

- a strong fright as a result of any mental influence;

- excessive severity and rigidity of parents, lack of attention and lack of affection;

- the atmosphere in the family and the relationship between parents;

- the birth of a brother or sister, on which the main attention of mom and dad is switched, and bitter childhood jealousy.

In addition, there may be external causes - an accident, death or serious illness of loved ones, a catastrophe. The first signs that the nervous system of children is not functioning properly are:

- the appearance of fears and anxiety;

- sleep problems - a nervous child has difficulty falling asleep and may wake up in the middle of the night;

- possible occurrence of enuresis and gastrointestinal disorders;

- speech disorders - stuttering;

- nervous coughing;

- unwillingness and inability to communicate with peers.

If parents note aggressiveness, irritability or, conversely, excessive isolation, irritability, lack of communication skills in the behavior of their little monster, then it is best to discuss the problems with the doctor. Allowing the development of a possible disease to take its course and not taking any measures, parents risk raising a timid, indecisive person who is unable to cope with emerging problems and contact others. It is also necessary to consult a doctor if the state of the nervous system of children violates the normal rhythm of life. The presence of stuttering, enuresis or nervous tic requires immediate complex treatment from specialists.

Nervous tics in children - causes and symptoms

Doctors characterize a nervous tic as a short-term inappropriate movement of a certain muscle group, which the baby simply cannot resist. According to statistics, every fifth child, at least once, experienced such manifestations, and about 10% of children suffer from a chronic illness. This indicates that a huge number of children from 2 to 18 years old have complexes when communicating with their peers, are embarrassed by their obsessive movements, and the existing problem really prevents them from living a full life.

Nervous tics in children can be divided into several main groups:

- motor - biting lips, grimaces, twitching limbs or head, blinking, frowning;

- vocal - coughing, sniffling, hissing, snorting, grunting;

- ritual - scratching or pulling the ear, nose, strands of hair, clenching teeth.

According to the degree of severity, nervous tics in children are divided into local, when only one muscle group is involved, and multiple, manifested simultaneously in several groups. If motor tics are combined with vocal tics, this indicates the presence of a generalized tic called Tourette Syndrome, which is inherited.

It is important to distinguish between primary and secondary tics in children, whose clinical manifestations are similar. If the latter develop against the background of other diseases - encephalitis, brain tumors, traumatic brain injury, congenital diseases of the nervous system, then the primary causes are:

- malnutrition - lack of magnesium and calcium;

- emotional shaking - quarrels with parents and their excessive severity, fear, lack of attention;

- stress on the central nervous system in the form of frequent and increased consumption of coffee, tea, energy drinks;

- overwork - prolonged sitting in front of the TV, computer, reading in low light;

- heredity - the probability of a genetic predisposition is 50%, however, under favorable conditions, the risk of tics is minimal.

During sleep, nervous tics do not appear in children, although their effect is observed in the fact that the child falls asleep with difficulty, and his sleep is restless.

Is it possible to cure a nervous tic and when to see a doctor

In no case should you leave nervous tics in children unattended. A visit to a neurologist is necessary if:

- it was not possible to get rid of the unpleasant phenomenon within a month;

- tick causes inconvenience to the baby and interferes with his communication with peers;

- there is a strong severity and multiplicity of nervous tics.

Important! A feature of nervous tics in children is that you can get rid of them relatively quickly forever, but you can also stay with the problem for life. The main condition for successful treatment is finding out the causes of the appearance of a tick and timely contacting a doctor.

After conducting certain studies and consultations with other specialists, the doctor prescribes the necessary treatment, which is carried out in the complex:

- medication;

- measures aimed at restoring the normal activity of the nervous system - individual psychotherapy and psychological correction in group classes;

- traditional medicine.

Parents are required to ensure a calm environment in the family, good nutrition and the correct daily routine, sufficient exposure of the baby to the fresh air, and sports. Decrease teak decoctions of soothing herbs - motherwort, valerian root, hawthorn, chamomile.

The age of the child has an important influence on the course of the disease. If nervous tics in children occur at the age of 6-8 years, the treatment is likely to be successful, and there is no need to worry about the return of the disease in the future. The age from 3 to 6 years is considered more dangerous, you will have to watch the baby, even if the unpleasant signs disappear, until you are fully grown. But the appearance of nervous tics before the age of three is especially dangerous; they can be heralds of schizophrenia, brain tumors and other extremely dangerous diseases.

Raising and treating a nervous child

Successful overcoming of malfunctions in the work of the nervous system of children depends on two main factors - comprehensive medical care and the correct upbringing of a nervous child. Do not think that the problems will go away with age, without the qualified help of specialists, the treatment of a nervous child is impossible. If the doctor has diagnosed a neurotic disorder, both medication and sessions with a psychologist will be required. There are special types of therapy that help get rid of the tightness of the baby, adjust the ways of communication, restore activity and sociability. Parents can help a lot with this.

Mom and dad should carefully analyze the causes of the child's nervousness and try to eliminate them, create comfortable conditions for their child. In the absence of independence, which your offspring stubbornly seeks, you should give him more freedom, without focusing on controlling his actions. Catastrophically not enough time to communicate with the baby? Think about what is a life priority for you - a career and impeccable cleanliness in the house or psychological health and selfless love and devotion of a little man.

Raising healthy, mentally balanced children is not only a completely understandable desire of parents, but also their duty. Take care of the unformed and vulnerable psyche of the baby, so that in the future it will not be necessary to treat a nervous child from specialists. Moms and dads are quite capable of creating a stable and balanced microclimate in the family, avoiding unnecessary quarrels and unreasonable prohibitions, giving their child maximum attention and tenderness, and raising a self-confident little man. In no case should you frighten the baby, respond inadequately to his misdeeds, excessively restrict freedom. Following these simple tips from experienced psychologists will serve as a reliable prevention of various neurological disorders in your children.