My best friend took my boyfriend away. How to understand that a guy likes a girlfriend? How to know if a friend loves my boyfriend

How to understand that a guy likes a girlfriend?

Classic love triangle or secret sympathy. In any case, no one wants to share, and certainly does not want to be fooled and heartbroken. Let's try to understand the situation. How to understand that a guy likes a girlfriend?

Let's look at two cases. The first is that your boyfriend may like your girlfriend. Is it true?

1. Your partner is often interested in your girlfriend. He asks how she is doing and her health, sends greetings, offers to spend time together.
2. When you meet all together, the guy and girlfriend communicate with each other too much without noticing you. You feel out of place in this small company. The young man jokes, your girlfriend laughs and listens carefully. Is there anything more than friendship between them? Did some kind of spark fly through?
3. In the presence of your girlfriend, the young man changes his attitude towards you. He becomes more rude, avoids bodily contact, hugs and kisses. Often, he can make a hurtful joke on you.
4. He texts her on social media. Likes and comments on photos.

The young man feels sympathy for your girlfriend. You don't have to blame her right away. Perhaps she did nothing to interest your boyfriend, she does not wish you harm, just the man himself shows sympathy in her direction. Have a conversation with your man, if he likes your girlfriend more, then maybe he will be better with her? Why would he deceive himself and you. But here, of course, it all depends on the situation. It also happens that girlfriends envy or experience some other negative feelings, and try to switch the guy's attention to themselves.

The second case - you like a guy, you communicate with him, but suddenly you notice that he is more interested in your girlfriend. How can this manifest itself?

1. If you are walking with three or in a large company, he invites you first, not you, but your girlfriend, and you are already walking with her.
2. If you are alone, he asks about your girlfriend and almost all conversations lead to the topic of her.
3. He looks at her, asks questions, is interested in something, listens carefully. And you remain on the sidelines without his attention.
4. After a walk, if you go home all together, then first he offers to accompany you, and then your girlfriend. So the young man has a chance to be alone with her.
5. He replies in monosyllables to your messages on social networks, while he has a fairly active correspondence with his girlfriend.

To understand the situation, it is better to talk with your girlfriend. If she admits that their communication cannot be called friendly, and the young man does not hide his sympathy for her, then it may be better to step aside. Neither you, nor the young man, nor the girlfriend are to blame for the fact that everything is going that way.

Are there really few free men in the world, and is it necessary to spoil friendship with an ugly act? Perhaps such a question was asked by any woman who found herself in the role of abandoned by her missus because of her friend. Surprisingly, a man “recaptured” in this way rarely stays next to the one who recaptured him. Usually, their relationship quickly gets upset or becomes so unbearable that the rival herself is no longer happy with what she did. No wonder the phrase “you can’t build happiness on someone else’s misfortune” appeared.

Psychologists are sure that female rivalry has very deep roots. Men have their own topics for competition, and the fairer sex has a battle for love that almost washed away their whole life. But then why don’t some women try to assert themselves with the help of someone else’s chosen one, and don’t feed others with bread, but let them annoy their friend? If the craving for rivalry is too strong, as is the inferiority complex, because of which the insidious girlfriend cannot achieve her female happiness in any way, then attempts to destroy someone else's love will occur constantly.

Why take someone else's boyfriend

In fact, all men are good - choose any. But for some reason, a friend's boyfriend is always better, more fun, more attractive, smarter, etc. But usually the insidious girlfriend is pushed to meanness not by great love, but by the usual feeling of envy for a more successful and happy competitor. Not at all because of the exclusivity of the chosen one, as many men think.

The trouble is that nature itself has laid down that a happy woman is a married woman, that is, in a couple and behind a reliable man. Despite the progressive emancipation, the female need for a strong shoulder, laid down for centuries, if not millennia, makes itself felt. For many years, a single woman was considered a woman lost and extremely unhappy. Today, loneliness is far from being a symbol of death or misfortune, but it is one thing to choose such a life yourself, and another thing to fail to win a man. That is why some women are constantly "practicing", proving to themselves that they are competitive, beautiful and in demand.

Psychologists explain this behavior in terms of an inferiority complex. A strong woman does not need to prove to herself what she is capable of. That is why such representatives of the fair sex quickly find a life partner, arrange a family, become successful, loved and happy. Unsuccessful girlfriends will rush for a long time between the guys taken away by deceit, and they will never find their soul mate. After all, taking away someone else's, you can not count on a cloudless and happy life. In rare cases, a woman is driven by true love, and not a banal feeling of envy. If, nevertheless, the power of feeling for a strange man is strong, then a self-confident woman will find a way to achieve what she wants without sinking to meanness and betrayal.

How to recognize the intention of a girlfriend

Psychologists note that deceived women themselves provoke their girlfriends to meanness. If a friend does not have a personal life, if she likes to flirt with other men and does not hesitate to discuss spicy topics, then it is better to refrain from communicating with such a friend or at least tell her less about yourself. Many women are envious by nature, but some manage to take control of the primitive feeling, others do not. In order not to get into an unpleasant situation and not become a victim of deceit by an insidious girlfriend, you need to pay attention to her behavior. You should be wary if a friend:

• looks unhappy and constantly needs help - of course, any woman may someday need help or support, but the excessive exploitation of a strange man should lead to certain thoughts. Situations are especially undesirable when a man goes to help his girlfriend alone. It is not known in what form she meets someone else's chosen one. Maybe she had already set the table and put on a spectacular negligee. Unfortunately, this is exactly what most sly friends do;
• too curious - if a friend is interested in the details of your personal life, this is a bad signal. Intimate questions help her to better probe your man and find your weaknesses. One has only to complain to a cunning girlfriend that you do not like some kind of position in sex, as she will have a trump card in her hands. It is better to discuss intimate issues in the office of a sexologist or psychoanalyst, but not with a lonely girlfriend;
• seeks to treat a man - it is known that the path to a man lies through his stomach, so many women try to attract attention in this way. The less a man eats "from someone else's hands", the better. Even if a friend does not have selfish intentions, you should not give your missus a reason for comparison, especially if cooking is not your forte;
• overly praises a strange man - men are greedy for compliments, and wives and constant girlfriends eventually stop pampering them with warm words. If a girlfriend subtly reminds your man of how strong, self-confident, successful, etc. he is, then this will surely endear the man to her. And the first sympathy may be followed by a stronger feeling;
• shares secrets with your man - your chosen one is not a vest and not an adviser to your girlfriend, then why does she go to him, and even discuss slippery or personal topics behind your back? The worst thing is when a friend starts talking about you, and if you really have secrets that you would not like to reveal to a man, then such a close relationship between a friend and a faithful is doubly dangerous;
• treats a man like a girlfriend - she can ask him for advice on how to behave in a given situation, what dress to choose, which restaurant to prefer. At first, it looks innocent and seemingly harmless, but, on the one hand, this is how she demonstrates the significance of a man and emphasizes his authority. On the other hand, the excessive involvement of a man in her personal space makes him think about her more and more often, develops a habit and even affection. It is especially dangerous to take a man for joint purchases. A sly friend might ask him to zip up a dress in the fitting room, or evaluate how beautiful the underwear she has chosen for herself is.

Is it worth cherishing friendship with such a woman who makes eyes at your husband or boyfriend? Of course not, because already at the moment when a friend secretly dreamed of a strange man, the friendship ended. But this does not mean at all that you need to swear with a dishonorable girlfriend and burn bridges. Especially if you are connected not only by friendship, but by professional or family relations. You just need to keep track of changes in the conduct of your girlfriend in time and stop her attempts to put pressure on your man. You can even limit communication, find reasons not to run into an unreliable girlfriend once again, or try to switch her to another man. Sometimes this can save both your own marriage and your relationship with your girlfriend.

No matter how self-confident a girl is, almost everyone has a feeling of jealousy. And the thought is especially frequent: "The guy likes my girlfriend." But before you start sorting things out, you need to understand the situation and check your suspicions.

Best friends and boyfriend - this is the most urgent problem for a girl. Of course, I want them to communicate well and maintain friendly relations, but nothing more. But this fine line is very easily erased, and you need to be on the alert so as not to lose both. It is also important for a girl that there is no enmity between a friend and a boyfriend, otherwise you will have to choose, and this is very difficult.

Very often, girlfriends and a guy try to win first place in a girl's life. They try different ways to get her attention. Yes, it's great, because the girl is important and significant both for the young man and for the girlfriends. But that's when the suspicion arises: "My boyfriend likes my girlfriend." What to do in such a situation?

Well, first of all, you need to analyze this situation. How did it happen? It is best to ask the opinion of third parties, because it is difficult to rationally assess the state of affairs. You can ask another friend or friend to watch them. It is better to organize a party or a walk. Loving glances are unlikely to be hidden.

Very often, girls confuse their boyfriend's sympathy for a girlfriend with a good attitude. If a girlfriend is a good person, then why can't he like her as a friend? Such thoughts are not justified, and most likely just a fantasy.

If the signs of attention of a guy to a girlfriend are clearly visible, then you need not put everything on the back burner. You need to have a serious talk with him. He must understand who he is dating, and such behavior is absolutely not acceptable for building relationships.

The reaction of the guy can be different. He may just turn out to be a womanizer, then such flirting for him is a common thing. In this case, you need to immediately leave him. If a guy tried to court a girl's girlfriend, then there can be no question of any respect. Then what's the point of continuing to build relationships with ladies' man? For a friend there will be another friend, and so on ad infinitum. Even if a girl loves her chosen one, it is necessary to overcome her feelings as quickly as possible.

By the way, maybe the guy's reaction was provoked by the actions of his girlfriend. In this case, you need to "get rid" of it. You can't allow people like this. It is good that it has now become known.

It is very important not to jump to conclusions. It must be remembered that people are cunning and insidious, and sometimes, in order to shield themselves, they substitute others. Therefore, the priority in relation to the boyfriend and girlfriend must be set carefully, remembering all the situations that happened to them.

Many psychologists advise girls to observe the behavior of not only their boyfriend, but also their girlfriend.

If a friend decided to beat off a guy, then this can be predicted by several signs.

For example, if she began to show excessive interest in him. It will show up in conversation. The girlfriend will be interested in his life, habits, what he likes, where he spends time and so on.

Also, if a friend is constantly interested in relationships with a guy, you need to be on the lookout. You should not devote her to all the problems, otherwise she will take advantage of this in her selfish plans. And do not confuse this with ordinary curiosity.

A friend can act like "poor and unhappy", and all the time seek support from a guy. Frequent requests for help will become a constant thing for her. So she's just trying to spend more time with him. This should alert the girl, and she should stop this communication.

Another alarm bell is the stories of a girlfriend to a guy about any secrets of a girl. She does it on purpose to compromise. But, of course, a friend will tell the girl that she accidentally let it out. In this case, she cannot be trusted.

In general, there should be a certain line in the relationship between a guy and girlfriends. Most often, when a girlfriend beats off a guy, this is the mistake of the girl herself. You don't need to bring them together all the time. Yes, holidays, birthdays cannot be avoided in a common company, but extreme caution must be exercised.

It is best to get together in pairs, then flirting is self-exclusive. It is necessary to distinguish between spending time with a guy and with girlfriends.

Yes, of course, this does not apply to all girlfriends. But before the girl understands who the real friend is, a sufficient amount of time must pass, fixed by real actions. But no matter how it was between a man and a woman, friendship is extremely rare, so you should not push your girlfriend and boyfriend together in the hope that they will be friends. Don't light a fire where there shouldn't be.

The girl also needs to do this removal carefully so that neither side suspects this: neither the boyfriend nor the girlfriend.

Often stupid jealousy causes the loss of dear and close people. No need to make hasty conclusions when passions and emotions boil. Even what you see is not always what it seems, and vice versa. It is especially scary to believe rumors and gossip.

When there is a suspicion of your boyfriend's sympathy for a girlfriend, you need to be extremely objective. These dear people may not even suspect the girl of doubts. Therefore, before setting priorities, throwing tantrums, you need to analyze everything.

"Hello, Katya!
There is a topic that has been bothering me for a long time. Namely - female friendship. I hope you will answer my letter, for I myself no longer understand why I am alone.

Julia, I'm 24. I'm not a stupid, beautiful, sociable girl with a lot of hobbies.
I entered and studied excellently in the best university in the city. Money was always tight, but I never stopped looking after myself - I went in for sports, read a lot of books, behaved with dignity, knew how to dress beautifully for a minimum amount of money. She was cheerful and sympathetic to those around her. I liked everything that I had - I had no reason to complain, be offended by something, and even more so to envy someone. I understood that, yes, maybe I don’t have money now, like, for example, my classmates, but I’m not stupid, I’m kind to people and I look good - I’ll definitely find everything that I lack in life. And even if I don’t find it, most likely it’s not what I needed. That life does everything right. No, Katya, don't think that I rely on fate and go with the flow, not at all. Rather, it is my way of thinking, which helps me to believe in the world around me, not to compete with anyone, not to envy any material goods and just love myself.

I had no problems with young people.
There were always guys who were interested in me, there were lovers, those who look at you with bated breath for years, but you understand that it’s not yours. There were those who I really liked, but for some reason did not agree. In general, nothing supernatural. I just didn’t really need a relationship until a certain point, it was the tenth item on the list. The whole world is open to me, and here are some guys with their very transparent intentions.

But with the girls ... It's difficult. Very difficult, Kat. This is just from that opera, when you seem to be doing everything right, but it’s somehow crooked. And this is not one or two cases, but almost every time. So the problem is clearly mine.

In childhood, of course, there were girlfriends.
Until the age of 12, she was a ringleader in the classroom, in the yard, she was friends with many people, everything was simple and clear. At 12, she moved with her family to a small town, and somehow it turned out that there was absolutely no one to communicate with except her classmates. Well, there somehow it was not customary to be close friends. It seems like no one needs it. And I have always been drawn to people and it was difficult and incomprehensible.
In general, until the age of 16, my girlfriends were my mother and grandmother and the neighbor's kids, with whom I sometimes sat. After graduating from school, I moved to St. Petersburg and felt that this is it, finally there will be many peers around me, open and interesting people. And she was friends. Purely young so - cinema, walks around the city, large companies, drinking, after all.
But this, of course, did not bring much spiritual satisfaction, I did not find friends there.
Guys - they are. They somehow immediately stretch, are interested. I also tried to be friends with them, but, as you understand, at that age and in the company they were looking for far from that, which was not interesting to me.

Then there were many already conscious parties, outside the university environment, and now, I found it.
She is the daughter of a wealthy mother, cultured, educated, beautiful and just as a little crazy as I was by that time. We had everything - living together, going to clubs and terrible drunken alterations, details of an intimate life, long conversations at night, common troubles for two ... and much, much more.
This was my ideal. We were sisters, always together, always close. It was above all the love stories that I experienced at that time.
But it's over. After two or three years, I was focused on graduating and she said that I was getting too serious and like I was old.

At first she said this as a joke, but at some point she just found herself another, less busy and more crazy girlfriend. And then I just could not be on the sidelines.
Look at the photos in social networks, where the two of them hang out here and there, and also at those Zhenya-Sasha's last Saturday.

Sounds weird, I get it.
It’s as if I’m projecting emotions that are no longer friendly on friendship.
But this is all because she was the very person who gave me warmth and joy, the closest and dearest soul. I have never felt more uncomfortable during a breakup than I did then. We still tried to somehow fix everything later, but it was not the same as before. And her life has already changed too abruptly.

Now I have the best young man, I am very happy with him. There are two best friends, also guys. I feel comfortable and protected.
But I really miss the warmth of such female communication, which was with her.
I have many female friends whom I can write to and arrange to go to the cinema, drink coffee or take a walk around the city. I have a very sincere attitude towards these girls, I wish them the best and I want to get close to them, but it doesn’t go beyond that.
The most incomprehensible thing for me is that I invariably remain the initiator of calls, meetings, and even correspondence. Despite the fact that I do not impose, and I see that the girls are pleased and fun with me when we meet. But for some reason I am always the initiator. Maybe they just don't need it? Maybe they're too busy solving their own problems, and I'm here with my friendships and coffee get-togethers?

Tell me, please, Kat, what am I doing wrong?

P.S. Once I asked my man why, as he thinks, none of the girls is going to get closer to me, because I really want this. He laughed and said: "Would you like to be the ugly girlfriend in a couple? So they don't want to." I understand that he tried to calm me down and compliment me at the same time, but now this thought haunts me. Is it really that I can't find a girl to match me?"

I thought it was an interesting letter
Once upon a time, a woman said something that shocked me. Like, my girlfriend is a husband, but I don’t need others.
Now, after decently years, I am also a little outraged by such categoricalness, but I understand that there is some truth in this.
Girlfriends are needed, but somehow life arranges that girlfriends do not even fade into the background over time; and the man with whom you live knows no less than your girlfriends about what you are like and what is in your head. Everyday little joys and sorrows you share with him. It just happens that way, and how else.
Reception, he knows more about you than his girlfriends) You tell your girlfriends yourself, and he sees you a la naturel every day)

In general, a man who has appeared, if he has an emotionally good relationship with him, usually occupies a niche of "friendship-communication" very strongly. And if you live well and do not swear at all, then there is not much left for a friend. Both time and emotions.
And any friendship forever anyway sooner or later turns into "get together, drink coffee" well if once a month. Well if.
I'm talking about intimacy. For the future.

So I read the letter and think: what degree of intimacy do you need? And for what? Why do you need a bosom girlfriend? How often can you meet with her? What do you want to discuss with her?
A close friend is needed when you have to discuss emotion. Those very "details of each other's intimate life", when they have not yet become commonplace, still cause delight)
True, the more personal life becomes in everyone's stash, the more boring it is to talk about it. You have already seen it, and a friend, what is there to discuss)

In general, that friend just fell into such a period where students, revelry, the beginning of everything and a bunch of emotions that you want to share, otherwise you will burst.
And give you this girlfriend now - well, you won’t go to parties again and get into trouble. Everything has its time.
Girlfriends - they are generally not for friendship forever, forever, in spite of and never part. Girlfriends are just a certain group of people with whom you feel good.
You have to visit someone. And have someone guide you.
And repetition Togo, with the same emotional intensity - impossible.

No, of course, it's good when there is a bosom girlfriend.
But in essence any girlfriends act as a cover group)
You know that they exist and, if something happens, you at least have someone to whine or tell something funny. If it happens. And if it doesn’t happen *the further, the fewer events, everything settles down* - then what do you meet often about?
What is there to dig at all. Especially if you're doing well.

And further.
Among my friends there are a couple of very close ones who saw me in snot, and in tears, and other indecency.
It's true.
But to think so - what kind of heart secrets do I have that my girls still don’t know about me? I know everything about Lizka, Lizka knows everything about me. Lizka is close, very close. But we both know everything about Svetka, Olya, Irka, Natasha... and they know everything about us. And we sympathize with each other quite sincerely, and there is someone to rejoice with.
We rarely meet all together, if we gather with a full company, then a dozen will be typed. But mostly we meet more with someone.

Someone is geographically close, someone has the same work schedules. Someone is just generally closer in spirit to someone.
But nonetheless we are all friends with each other. Not TM Best Friends, but girlfriends, a bachelorette party of good friends and old acquaintances. Gathering together - happy to chirp.
And yet they know who has what kind of pain, who was abandoned, and who had an abortion. On major holidays and anniversaries (God, God, we have lived up to this!) - we all get together. Good time. And, by the way, we also have girls who never call first (or only if it's a holiday), but if you call, they come, they're glad to see you.
It’s just that everyone has their own rhythm of life, their own affairs, troubles
But we do not care for each other anyway, girlfriends. What else is needed? What is the degree of intimacy?

Here you write: "I have a lot of female friends to whom I can write and arrange to go to the cinema, drink coffee or take a walk around the city. I am very sincere about these girls, I wish them the best and want to get closer to them, but it doesn't go any further."

If you have friends with whom you have a good and pleasant time, and you have someone to go to the cinema with, chat, drink coffee, then this is already wonderful. Trust me, that's a lot!
And why do you want more? What do you want to share with a really, really, really close friend? Moreover, martyr won, as you say, very close.
This is life itself so arranges, so there is no need to yearn.

It's not about you and nothing at all.
It's just that the stars converge so that sometimes friends become almost relatives. For life, even if they somehow quarrel, it doesn’t matter where you go - relatives.
But these stars are very hard to align. Not everyone agrees and not always. This is more of an amazing coincidence than a regularity.
________

© Ekaterina Bezymyannaya