How do orphans live in orphanages live. "Life in an orphanage - View from the inside"
Every year, children's houses send about 20 thousand of their pupils in adulthood. Of these, 40 percent is imprisoned, the same is starting to bommer and 10 percent cums of suicide.
Those who cope with adaptation are negligible - only 10 percent, about 2 thousand people ... "MK Chernozemie" talked with former orphanages to understand what the cause of such terrible statistics is.
"No one taught us to be women"
"Only my name is changed, please," says Alena Ivanova, fueling the naughty strand of the hair. - I did a lot to do not associate me with the orphanage, and I do not tell people that they grew in the boarding school just because of stereotypes. They are strong, and it is impossible to do nothing.
Alena - 28 years old, works in a large company development company. Single.
- The question of marriage is now the most important thing that girls from the orphanage ask me. When I say I'm going to give birth to 35 years, they are taken after the heads and are very defeating about this. Of course, leading as an example of its semi-sends, which for me is not an example. I do not want to offend anyone, but I do not plan to repeat the mistakes of my parents, and my family was exactly the "floor". It was impossible to call it whole grain.
History Alena Banalna. Just can tell most of the pupils of orphanages.
- Mom suffered from alcoholism, I brought up my grandmother. Who is my father, do not know. Even someone else's name I wear. The story of my emergence of a special secret is not covered, but I live all my life under the name of the second husband of the mother, who had nothing to do with my conception. In the children's house, after the death of a grandmother, who struggled to give me a primary education: she made me read in syllables, although I hated it. I hated her for a while, because everything was walking on the street, and I studied the letter. Now I am very ashamed for it. Read learned in kindergarten. At school read the fastest. Only then I realized that my grandmother did, and thank you. In fact, so far she says it, even though she has not been with me for a long time.
At the boarding school, Alena does not complain.
- I grew there, where the caregivers were not all the same. We were taught a lot: cook, wash, clean, make repairs. However, in such an education there were serious cons: no one taught us to be women, correctly spend money, no one really explained that it would be outside this institution. After I graduated from school, and it was time to leave the orphanage, I could have been singing, to dance, reclaim Mandelstam, Pushkin, block and other great. But none of them opened me secrets, such as, for example, to distribute the budget. I had to comprehend this by samples and errors. The first and last "female secret", which Mom opened me, was as follows: "When a man you love, come from work, do not talk to him and do not ask for anything. First put it at the table and the faded dishes. Then ask what you want. " Then it seemed to me some nonsense. Now I understand that it works.
Life in GOST.
- Feed disgusting! In the sense that they did not give fried potatoes, which I love so much. Then he hated salad from beet, now I cook. There are fed by
GOST: a specific menu, certain portions. Maybe because there was no freedom of choice, the food seemed bad. I do not know. Now, you will not believe, the food from McDonalds seems to me worse than there! Although at the time of the orphanage thought it was nothing disgusting. It turns out, there is a hamburger.
There were almost no excesses: groups of girls, as a rule, less conflict than the boy. When they brought new, the girls immediately began to show where she will sleep with whom to study in the classroom, they talked in detail about the routine of the day. Surprisingly, we found a language instantly, without friction and tension. Immediately began to change things: we loved it very much. You understand myself, we are still girls. Everything was different in the group of boys: there I looked closely to the newcomer, checked it, proved that they were trying. There I had to immediately show ourselves to "Alpha-male", otherwise you could become an outcast.
You know, children in orphans are divided into two types: those who always run away, thinking that there are some enemies around, and those who make friends from themselves. Here I take the second type. It is easier for me to adjust the situation than to run away from her. After all, it is impossible to escape from it.
The most difficult stage in the life of pupils of boarding schools - when boarding up.
- Only after a while you start to acquire friends and acquaintances. It's not so easy to do immediately. And this is one of the reasons, because of which we are hard to assimilate into society. Therefore, many continue to maintain exclusively orphanages. Not very good practice. It is so much more difficult to form a new environment.
Alena does not complain about the lack of support from the state. He says that material assistance was enough, but the children needed not only that.
- I think many of us would be much more successful if you could understand our main problems and somehow solve them. In orphanages there are psychologists, but they rarely can reach children. Basically, we pass some tests, choose some kind of card nonsense from the proposed geometric figures. That's all. I do not know who helped. I - no. I think the main responsibility of a psychologist in the orphanage is to understand what kind of child in front of him, "evaluate the damage" and unobtrusively start the work individually.
There is no "control package", as I call it. When you leave the child, you get a piece, I do not even remember with what ... some phones are incomprehensible. I think everyone is thrown away at once. And should not give a piece of leafle, but almanac with information about, "who is to blame and what to do." I'm not only about emergency telephones. It is necessary to describe in detail a graduate where it can contact, indicate everything: from the rooms of the nearest hospitals to the addresses of the nearest affordable hairdressers. After all, you are starting to live alone, you are not more than 17 years old, and cause accidents if the pipe flowed, you can not independently.
"We look like our parents, and in this our main problem"
- From my orphanage, only ten people earn money well. For us, it is much easier than to have a normal family. All together has not yet been able to anyone. Mother single, Non-coming fathers ... History is repeated? Yes, of course. We are like our parents, and this is our main problem. It is impossible to ignore genetic information, but also pretending that it is a fundamental factor in life, too. The most optimal option is to admit that you were born in a family that was not ready to have children. Everything. He admitted, Potked, regretted himself and went to start the alarm clock for tomorrow, because tomorrow the new day and it should not be lived as it fell.
The question of the ideal family is the most difficult for me and in general for orphans. It's how to ask about the ideal of a man or woman, mother or father. They are not like a family ideal. I plan to have a family, of course. But if I do not find a man who would become a good father and who would have seen a good mother in me, leave this idea. Perhaps because I'm scary I'm afraid not to cope ... it gives a little on me. Many orphans try to quickly create a family that could not really have anyone. Hence the early marriages, early divorces, suffering children. All over the second circle. I am against this cyclicality.
And, alas, but I agree with the stereotype: "Dudomovsky means unfavorable." This is very regrettable, but in most cases it is. Yes, the parents are not lucky, tragedy, but life does not end. Now some guys, which I knew close, is no longer alive. And they died for some absurd reasons. Who blame? I do not know…
Moms for them were perfect
Nadezhda Aseeva knew who was blamed. The fate, which is too cruel and unfairly cost the girl from a prosperous family.
- I had wonderful parents. And both leaders. And I remember how in childhood to the question of who I want to become, answered: "Head." In principle, it turned out. Now, at the age of 30, ranking the top manager of a large chain of stores in the Tyumen region, where he moved from the Black Soil. To this lay a long way: two higher education, three secondary specials, a bunch of courses and additional training. Sometimes I think it would be possible for me or not if the parents were alive. I do not know the answer to this question. Most likely, I would just "attached" to a good place and that's it. I was too spoiled. Imagine a girl who up to 13 years old did not know how to turn on the gas stove.
Happy childhood for Nadi ended when she was 13.
- Parents did not become in the 97th, and in the country was, how to say, not the best period. I was very lucky that I was not at first not to the dispenser, but in the shelter. There was a normal nutrition, an excellent care. Went to a regular school. Only children in the class watched strange. And I didn't want to be friends with anyone. Already then I understood how life I tumbled in a puddle.
So 9 months passed. Then there was a children's house. I forever remembered the first day there. Immediately, as I went, I hit the smell of burnt porridge. A bunch of children, dressed the same and poor. We were immediately told in the dining room. Portions are small, tasteless food. When I think about an orphanage, I remember how I always wanted to eat. I remember how in the evening the bread and ate, ate, ate, ate in the dinner. The coolest thing was to go to the weekend to relatives and bring food. Immediately everyone was going and began to absorb her.
That summer my life has changed. We were sent to the pioneer camp, and in the middle of the night I woke up because the guy was lying about me. I hid something in the room of councils. And after a couple of days, it came up with a guy: broken nose, shaking and eternal understanding that you can not fight with men. Relations with other orphans did not develop. I was someone else's home. I had good loving parents ... But you know what is strange? These children, despite all that they made their parents, did not allow anyone to say a bad thing about Mom. Moms were perfect. One of the girls after leaving the orphanage set a monument on the grave of the mother. Although mother saw, walked and did not think that somewhere there is a daughter. Other girl Mother kicked out on the frost in light clothes. In each story - pain. Someone had parents, someone drank ... At the same time, for the orphanages they remained the best.
"Now I'm not afraid of anything."
- Then there was winter, and it was a nightmare. Cold, of the windows, daru, slept in warm sweaters, pants and socks. Top two thin camel blankets. In the morning I did not want to get up and washed. The school was also difficult. I studied in a classroom with home children. All full, well dressed, free in the choice of friends and entertainment, all at home - warm and love, and I have only anger and insult. Why did it have to happen exactly with me? What am I worse?
At the same time, Nadia warmly recalls educators:
- They just turned inside out so that we would not feel deprived. It is now a bunch of sponsors for every orphanage, but before that there was no such thing. The year of the orphanage I survived only maliciousness and stubbornness. I wanted to survive and not slip down.
You know, I am glad that I lived it, I'm not scary now. Life hit me on the wall, but I realized that no one was obliged to me. It is a pity of the broken fate of the children: one girl after the orphanage immediately gave birth, despite the fact that he mastered only 7 classes by 16 years, the guy went to prison. A couple of years ago came there - everything changed: children are well dressed, fed, all modern gadgets. Only longing in the eyes did not become less ...
Tells Lyudmila Petranovskaya, teacher and psychologist, working with children from orphanages, with adoptive parents, with employees of orphan institutions and guardianship services, founder The Family Development Institute.
The text is emotionally heavy, warning in advance! Do not want to spoil yourself the mood - go through ... Although I would advise you to read all your parents, to better understand what the child needs to grow happy.
An orphanage is a system in which the child does not have affection, attitudes towards its meaningful adult. And human beings are so arranged that their development spins around affection. Formation of personality, knowledge, interest in the world, any skills, abilities and everything else is drawn on attachment, like pyramid rings on the rod. If there is no settling, then the pyramid on the view may seem common until we try to push it and it will not be easily crumbling. It seems that a child who grows in an orphanage is a child like a child. He walks to school, he has toys there, things put on the shelf, playing games and so on. But this rod is not. And therefore, as soon as the children's house as a formwork is removed, the will and the nature of the child are scattered.
When he feels a security when he feels that the rear is covered, he is wondering, he has a lot of strength, he tries a lot. Even if he hit, frightened somewhere, something did not work out, he still has his adult, to which he returns.
It was estimated that in front of the baby's eyes in the child's house flashes about twenty-five different adults. Change teachers, nanochki, speech therapists, nurses, masseurs - who are only not. There are many of them very much, and attachment is formed only in conditions when the child has its own adults and there are strangers. A normal child will not allow someone else's person, for example, to approach and take it on the hands and take somewhere. He will not understand what is happening. He will resist, he will cry, it will be scary. He will look for parents. And a dedusion child anyone else's aunt can approach, take from the bed and carry where he wants. To do, for example, it hurts him - some vaccination. And there is no one who defended him from this, there is no one who he can perceive as his adults, for whom he should hold on, which will not give him offense. The attachment is selective, it cannot be attached to twenty-five aunt at once, even if they treat him like a child, and not with the Klot.The affection program is not about love-carrot, but about survival.This is a program that allows young mammals to undergo a period of helplessness after birth. Cubs all the time attached to his adult, who watches him, who his feeds, who takes it on himself in case of danger, which he holds it if a predator comes. This is about life and death. Therefore, a child who is not in the situation of attachment is a child who has a death horror every minute of its existence. Not sadness and loneliness, but mortal horror.
And he, as can, copes with this horror. He goes into dissociation - this is a redemption and a stupor. He goes into obsessive actions when swinging and beats his head about the bed, about the wall. He goes into an emotional outlook. If he has all the mental strength to spend on overcoming horror, then what is his development there, what does he care about the fact that the world is interesting?
I had such an experience when I conducted classes in one provincial city for employees of orphans. When we get acquainted, I ask people to remember their first impression: here you came to this work, for the first time saw these children - what did you get into the eyes, what did you remember what I am amazed, impressed? And it so happened that we first sat the staff of the shelter, where children fall, just selected from the family. And then the staff of the boarding school were sitting, where children are sent from the shelter. And the officers of the shelter began to talk about the children who fell to them: they are grieved, they miss, they love their parents - even the most neat, drinking, they worry about the fact that no one helps his mother or grandmother. Then they spoke at the boarding school, where the children had spent many years. And they tell: the children are still, they do not like anyone, nobody needs them. They belong to people consumer, they are interested in a person only from the point of view that you can get from it. They report that the mother died, they say: "Well, the pension will be more." And she accidentally happened, I did not plan it, but when this circle was passed, this was just silence ...
Children come to the system, yes, let the dirty, albeit luxury, let something do not know how and do not know, but alive, loving, devotees, with a normal heart. And after several years of life with balanced nutrition and with computer classes, they turn into something frightening, which you say that the mother died, they answer: "Well, the pension will be more." And this is the main horror of this system.
Next problem - Total violation of personal borders in all these children's institutions.No toilet is closed there, no souls are closed there. There is normal when the pants lie in the general box to the entire group. There is normal when the girl needs gaskets, and she must go to the nurse to another floor to ask for this. A constant total violation of the boundaries, when you can constantly note that someone's inspection are completely people. I recall some talk show, where the scandal was sought, as in the orphanage, the man himself, being a guardian, took the boys for a weekend from the orphanage and they have aroused them. Not that raped, but backed. He climbed on the fact that he called a child from the courtyard and also climbed a family child to him. And the family child came home in a shock, in tears. His mother immediately noticed this, it became for him to ask, and all this was promoted. Children from the orphanage he took two years before that weekend, and another boy from the orphanage he lived constantly. We have never been in shock, nor in tears. Journalists take an interview at the director, she says: "Yes, it can not be that, but they didn't complain, every week inspects the nurse, we would notice." She is not very much aware that he says. In fact, children live for years in a situation where anyone else's aunt can sit at any time, to explore, to climb into all the places. What will they surprise a pedophile after that? Well, they were not impressed, he is still uncle. By the way, perhaps he does it more affectionately and carefully than a nurse.
Children constantly live in a situation of disturbing personal borders. Naturally, they are then very easy prey for any scoundrel, because they do not know how to say "no". And violence is very much inside the children's teams, because children do not see problems in this: well, they roasted in the corner, well, they fucked, and what? And of course, it is very difficult for children who have fallen into an orphanage in a more adult age from the family, for them it is a difficult injury.
When a child lives in the family, we gradually convey to him more and more solutions. At the age of five, he can only walk with us, you can already be for ten, and in fifteen he drives the city. In the orphanage, the rules for all alone, whether you are four years or eighteen. Children's homes are becoming increasingly closed when inside the case from the floor it is possible to pass only by electronic pass. The most expensive cheap children's homes are arranged as prisons: security, security, security. And for all routine of the day with a selection of nine hours. Children live a fully regulated life.On the one hand, you have everything regulated, on the other - everything is done for you. There are now in the fashion preparation room for independent life. Kitchen, where teach prepare, for example. But after all, preparing for an independent life is not in that, so that you are taught to cook pasta, it is possible to cook pasta on the Internet in five minutes. I always ask: if you gave them money for foods, and they went to the store and bought a peps-cola with chocolate or cigarettes instead, did not bought foods for dinner and did not prepare dinner or so it was preparing that he was incredible - they Will all dinners stay on this day? Supporters Already Kondrati is enough: "As, of course not, it is impossible!". ABOUT neither understand the main thing: in life it works so that if you did not prepare dinner, you just will not have dinner. No one will raise you, no one will read you notation - it will simply not be, and that's it.
Responsibility does not occur at all.If the child has broken or stained the T-shirt, he removes it and throws out the window. Then he will say Zehomethoz: "Lost" - and the Zaughz will pull another. For him, this is some kind of incomprehensible and bottomless source, which will be represented by another T-shirt. And all these benefactors who come with gifts - then volunteers tell how children in football play sweets and go with a crunch on mobile phones. The child has a fantasy that he is a poor orphan and the world is arranged so that everyone should.
Psychologists are surprised by ideas about the life of children from orphanages. Children say: I will live in a big house, and I will have servants. And they live - in a big house where they have servants. Because now San Epidemstation has banned everything: they cannot participate in cooking, they can not wash.
Madness, just madness: Children cannot respond to anyone, they themselves zero percent of freedom and one hundred percent guarantees. Then they grow up, and in one day everything changes. They are issued to the hands of a savings book, on which two hundred and three hundred thousand rubles. They have no experience of self-regulation. They for a week around restaurants, on the saunas, these all the money stroll. And, as all the previous eighteen years of life suggest them, the continuation of the banquet is waiting, and it does not occur. Well, then the criminal history begins. All our programs that are most often reduced to making money, this position is only strengthened. In Moscow, for example, if the graduate of the orphanage after the school did not find a job at once (yes they are not looking, because it is better to say that he did not find), he can go to the labor exchange, register there, and as a graduate of the orphanage he will For half a year to receive for not working, some very considerable amount - forty-five, or thousands monthly. Then six months end. And it turns out that from tomorrow the rule is changing, he should work for eight hours on uninteresting - and where is interesting? - And unfortunate work for fifteen thousand. Who would want. They start looking for other options. Therefore, the orphanage is a dear self-deception of society, he eats insane money - from forty-five to one hundred and ten thousand rubles per child per month - and ulods children.
The only thing that our state is able to control. They say that we have a country of winning Parkinson. The control system begins to work itself. Now the teachers laugh that the school has become a place where children interfere with teachers work with documents for higher authorities. Guardians and adoptive parents, if they receive benefits, must report on their expenses. Not just checks, but checks from supermarkets, where the name is written. And in full, people with a pencil and checks are sitting, for the month collected, the line behind the line is checked: whether there are no cigarettes or beer somewhere? There is no need for this, and it creates the difficulties of a variety of people.
/ According to the materials of Article Lyudmila Petranovskaya - Psychologist, the author of the book "The receiving child came to us" /
There are such philistine ideas that children in the children's institution are lonely, sad and lacking communication. And so we should start walking there, we will arrange chatting children, and their life will become more joyful. When people really begin to attend the orphanage, they see that the problems in children are much deeper and sometimes even frightening. Someone stops walking, someone continues, trying to change the situation, someone understands that for him the only possible way out is at least one child to pick up from this system.
In the regions you can still meet children's homes, where children are not well-groomed, are not treated and so on. In Moscow, you will not find a similar institution. But if we look at children from orphanages, prosperous in the material plan, we will see that they differ from the "home" to perception, by reaction in situations and so on.
It is clear that children's institutions can be different: a children's house for 30 children, where children come to a regular school, differs from "Monsters" for 300 people.
In children who came to children's homes, there are past injuries, difficult experience. And with these injuries, they do not fall into rehabilitating, but on the contrary, stressful conditions. Some of these stress conditions:
1. "Dictate Safety"
Recently, much has changed, children's homes have become more equipped, but at the same time there is a "revivanism", dictate security, "Sanitary Power". "Harmful" is declared soft toys, flowers on the windows and so on. But still, it is like to live in humans, and here the child appears a teddy bear with whom he sleeps, the windows begin to decorate flowers. Before checking, all these forbidden things are hiding in some orphanages.
Very much declined in children the ability to deal with anything economically useful (again under the slogan security). Already almost no in orphanages workshops, household sites, children are not allowed to participate in cooking and so on. That is, it is planned to the tendency of "wandering children" from all sides. It is clear that in "big life" they will be completely not ready for this life.
2. "Mode Life"
Children in the children's institution are in a constant stress situation. Now, if we, adults, send to the Soviet Sanatorium, where in the ward - 6 people, where at 7 am - a mandatory rise, at 7.30 - charging, at 8 o'clock - a mandatory breakfast and say that it is not for 21 days, but Forever - we will go crazy. Of any, even the best conditions, we want to get home, where we eat when we want to rest, as we want.
And children in such stress-regime are always located. All life is subordinated to the regime. The child can not adjust his day under his well-being, mood. Does he have sad thoughts? Anyway should go for a common entertainment event. He can't lie in the afternoon, because the bedroom is most often not allowed.
He can't "chew something between meals, as children are doing at home, because in many institutions it is impossible to carry food from the dining room. From here - "Psychological Hunger" - when children are even from the most prosperous children's homes with a balanced five-volume diet, getting into the family, start continuously and eagerly eating.
By the way, in some institutions they are trying to solve this question like this: dried crackers and allow children to take them from the dining room. Trifle? But the child is important to eat at the moment when he wants ...
3. The child cannot dispose of it in this hard routine. He feels in reservation, "behind the fence".
4. Lack of personal space and violation of personal borders.
Lack of doors in toilets, in shower. Change underwear, perform hygiene procedures Even adolescents are in the presence of others. This is stress. But living, constantly feeling it, is impossible. And the child begins to turn off feelings. Children gradually learn not to experience shame, constraint.
Even if in the orphanage a bedroom for several people, no one will in mind that you need to enter, knocking.
The concept of personal boundaries in a child may appear only if he sees how these boundaries are observed. In the family it happens gradually. 
Now the orphans in society pay a lot of attention. But more often the help that people seek to give children's homes, does not benefit, but on the contrary - it is often corrupt. Externally, it turns out - a gloss in orphanages, and inside - all the same absence of personal space.
It makes no sense to buy carpets and televisions in the institution while there are no toilets with cabins.
5. Isolation of children from society
When they say that children from orphanages need to be introduced into society, it's more often about unilaterally: make sure that the children go to normal school, in ordinary circles and so on. But not only children need to go, it is important that the society comes to them. In order for them to invite classmates to visit the circles that there are homemade children from neighboring houses in the orphanage, so that the inhabitants of these houses are invited to concerts that pass in the orphanage.
Yes, all this requires employees of unnecessary responsibility. But here it is important to arrange priorities: for which you work - for children or bosses?
6. Inability to communicate with money
Many children in orphanages have not kept money to 15 - 16 years old and therefore they do not know how to dispose of them. They do not understand how the budget of the orphanage is arranged, it is not customary to discuss it with them. But in the family with the elder children, such questions are necessarily discussed. 
7. Lack of freedom of choice and the concept of responsibility
In the family, the child has been learning to all this gradually. First, he is offered to choose milk or tea, then asked what to choose in a T-shirt. Then the parents give him money, and he can go and buy a T-shirt you like. At the age of 16, he is already calm one goes around the city, and sometimes further.
A child in an orphanage from this point of view is the same and in three years, and at the age of 16: the system is responsible for him. And at 3 years old, and at the age of 16, he should go to bed at 21.00, can't go to buy clothes and so on.
Everyone who works with children in orphanages is important to understand what they mean: children are people who will then grow and start living in normal adults; Or children - just the area of \u200b\u200bresponsibility under 18, and what will happen then - no longer important?
It is strange to expect that people who up to 18 years have had 100% guarantees and 0% of freedom, suddenly in 18 years, suddenly, as if the magic wand, learn what it means to be responsible for themselves and for others, how to dispose of themselves as Make a choice ... Without preparing a child for life and responsibility, we deal with him for death. Or hint that in the adult world there is only one place - "zone", where there is no freedom, and there is no responsibility.
8. Invalid ideas about the outside world
Do we not introduce children to mislead, doing so that every way out into the world for them is a holiday? When everyone is worn with them, they are engaged in them. And on TV I show this world, where it seems to have every counter - bags of expensive brands, dear cars and little worries ...
Once, psychologists conducted an experiment and offered children from orphanages to draw their future. Almost all drew a big house in which they will live, many servants, who care for them. And the children themselves - do nothing, but only travel.
Psychologists were surprised at first, and then they realized that after all the children live: in a big house, there are many people behind them, and they themselves do not care about others, do not know where the means of existence are taken from and so on.
Therefore, if you take a child home to the "guest mode", it is important to try to involve it in your daily life, talk about it. It is useful not to the cafe of the child to reduce or in a circus, but to work. You can discuss family worries when it is a loan, the fact that the neighbors flooded and so on. To the external life does not seem to him with a solid circus and McDonalds.
Lyudmila Petranovskaya also notes that the volunteers are important to change tactics in relations with the leadership of orphanages and from such aspirability: "Can we help children?" - Become partners, communicate on equal. You need to talk with them not only about children, but also about them, about possible development options. And the smart leaders will listen, because it is important to keep the institution (jobs) against the background of what kindergarten houses in the form in which they exist now are doomed - maybe after 10 years, maybe in fifteen ... but you can save Just reorganizing, not trying to cling to the old one.
Hello! My name is Evgenia, I live in Moscow, married, there are two children. But in this day, my relatives will not be, because I left on June 25 in Vologda, and from there on June 26 - to Sokolsky orphanage for children with disabilities, which is located in the village of Pine Grove, about 40 km from Vologda. The creative mug of the orphanage I was lucky for creativity for which my LJ FRRANDs discarded, and your master class on creating jewelry. Under the cut of 70 photos of my day on June 26, 2013.
On June 26, I woke up at the Spasskaya Vologda Hotel, had breakfast in a taxi 9-40. Already at 11-00 o'clock I was at the gate of the orphanage - a little bit of my taxi driver. I was met by girls and led in their "apartments".
This is such an official status of this orphanage. 
After I unloaded my heavy suitcase with materials for creativity, I was invited to a holiday-contest, who arranged for children on the task of the leadership of Vera - the head of the cultural part in the orphanage, according to the old - massacre. 
The tasks were somewhat. One of them - girls draw boys, boys - girls. 
Everyone was trying very much. 
Everyone asked to take pictures of them and those drawings that they were depicted on asphalt. And then looked into the camera - to see ourselves). 
Another contest - with dressing up. Groups of boys and girls were supposed to form three couples - in each - a boy and a girl in the costumes. If someone did not work independently to change clothes, they were helped by staff and more "saved" pupils. But everyone tried, well done! 
In such events, only pupils with serious violations are involved, "saved" is not interesting, they usually only observe. Perhaps it's time to give an explanation. In this house lives 250 pupils. Of these - 38 lying. These are very serious cases that need medical care, and it is in the house. The rest are walking, but with serious health violations and "preserved" people - those who have fallen into this house in deep childhood for various reasons, more often - as refusal. Age of pupils from 5 to 45 years. It is not at all like an "orphanage". Now the reorganization is passed - the kids will be taken off on other ornament. Sokolsky will become a house only for adults. 
Yeah, here and a couple of winners among boys - the fastest dressed up in a young lady and cavalier)). 
Another contest was played in the train. All pupils took part with a huge desire. 
And here are the prizes - balloons. I inflated the world. Someone did not work - the staff and other guys helped. By the way, the faith then told me that the balls - also help the benefactors and it is impossible to dilute them. And how to please children, I'm interested in? Here such little things also need money - buy these balls and send them to the orphanage. 
Teacher team who took me. From left to right - Tatyana Kozlova, a labor teacher, a pupil - a name forgot, clarify)), Vera is the same "cult-mass sector")) and Natalia is also a teacher in labor. People are crazy, in the good sense of the word, who give themselves to work at 100%. 
Rooms for rehearsals. 
With a huge mirror in the whole wall. 
There is also a costume. These are all ownership of faith. 
In an orphanage several workshops. This is a shoe. Now there are apprentices. But I was told the story that one of the pupils of the orphanage received "legal capacity" and opened his workshop on the repair of shoes in the neighboring city. He does not give up his own, helps them learn this craft. The story was told with the silence, like something, going beyond the partitions. 
Worked - you can relax with songs under the harmonic)). 
Muscovites, remember when you relate to your shoes and how much you took. You can compare with prices that pupils-shoes take care of their work. Communism! 
This is an assembly hall. At the moment he is preparing for repair. 
Gym. The chairs dragged from the actual repairs. 
This is a branch for lying. Three chambers. They asked not to photograph, but I confirm - there is no horror, the children all sleep on the beds with mattresses and linen, there are nyacks and medical staff. And for a walk of them to the nearby Square, really, that day I have not seen the walking "heavy" children. But there is a ramp for strollers, it means that I hope they are still in the fresh air.
Here you need to say that in the orphanage "Saved" pupils live in the rooms by the type of hostel. And I have shown all their farm. But for some reason I forgot to ask for a room for children with severe disorders, but walking. I hope the next time to fix this misunderstanding. This is the bathroom of the boys, although they have long been in age not boys, but men). 
One of the men's rooms. 
Male order). 
Class for classes. 
On the wall - propaganda against smoking. I think right). 
Pupils themselves painted posters. In orphanage, many pupils smoke. Propaganda, alas, they do not take them. Smoking do not throw. 
The foam rubber is cut here for packing toys and pillows. Pupils love to do this and according to their instructor, even in line). 
Turtle pillow. How do you? 
Cat plush. 
And this is a sewing workshop, here they sew covers for pillows and toys). Well, childcare workers ask for themselves clothes. If it turned out to be long, for example, trousers, they see them here. 
And this is a weaving machine. 
Wonderful "track mats" are obtained on a weaving machine. 
Kitchen, in my opinion, Girl. 
Well, we got to my master class (time - 14-20). Polynina sits next to me (in a yellow T-shirt). She is 28 years old. In the orphanage she fell small, his mother refused (mother at that time was a high-ranking "lump"). Polina's intelligence and health are absolutely saved. But due to the fact that it is in an orphanage with the status "for mentally retarded," it requires several commissions to prove their legal capacity. She has already tried once - and received a refusal. I sincerely wish her to make another attempt and defeat! 
Something very actively clarify. 
And something funny was). 
And listeners what attentive! 
Here someone did not lose time - did his bracelet). 
I show how you can cut the wire. 
Very attentive). In the center - two sisters - twins - Vera and Nadia. They are 27 years old. The story is similar to the polynic. Only when they were small, the mother died, and the father and grandmother did not want to do and handed over in the orphanage. The family was unfavorable - the parents drank ... In general, I must say that girls are all - well done, a lot of things can and can. By the way, one of the sisters, the one, that in a black and white dress, it seems that it is Nadia (here, a fear of me, I have not learned to distinguish the girls - but I correct)), makes beautiful hairstyles, knows how to make a beautiful manicure and even pedicure. Dudom staff to her runs for services. And she takes the visual penny - manicure for 50 rubles, how do you like it? All girls are preparing great, I treated me with different yums. Polina baked mannik - sodium). 
In the rooms of girls solid "prohibitance" - pets. But at least here the manual closes his eyes, and when SES arrives, cells hide from the eye. This chic parrot lives at Polina and her neighbors. She bought him herself, boasted that the parrot was not cheap - 3,500 rubles cost. 
And the guinea pig is. In total, their three pieces counted in the rooms of girls. 
And cat. 
Apparently, people believers here live here. 
In another room - aquarium. 
Pure and neat. 
Some of the girls embroiders at leisure. There will be a pad). 
That's how the wall was designed in our room). 
And this is already a tea party (time - 16-10). He was preceded by a chic lunch, all completely from home dishes. 
Then we went to walk around the territory. Everywhere Flowers - the pupils themselves make flowerbeds and take care of plants. The flower beds are smashed to their taste - who "Sun", who "circle", etc. 
General plan house on the side of the game site. 
The playground itself. 
And these are gardens. All the pupils make them. Potato grows here. 
There is a pond. Only boys bathe. Girls abstracted this occupation as someone from the guys drowned the cat there. 
And these are a bed attached to the groups of pupils. 
There is a pigsty. It was closed, though, so photographed through the grille. There were more pigs. Now they left several to train pupils of pig breeding. 
Immediately local "security". 
Corob. Cows also left a little. And also for learning. 
But they give milk and calves. 
And there is a horse. The girls told that they rode on it, without a saddle - so more convenient). 
Protection of personal gardens. 
Two brothers broke their garden. 
With greenhouse. 
And with a gazebo. 
Evening watering beds. 
And this building of a separate dormitory built just for the "saved" pupils. And Polina, and other girls should go there. But there is no money for furniture, so this house is empty. 
Total dining room. 
And here - behind the fence, the very playground, where "walk" under beds. 
For sale! 
I left about 19-30. My day ended as well as started - in the hotel Vologda. And I got impressions from this trip are not unambiguous. For the first time in life, I realized that I almost could not help these people on a large scale. And my help in small is like a drop in the sea. But I will help and further - than I can, because these people live locked, almost anywhere, for them, the trills like me - like light in the window. Tatiana told me that they, discussing our day, said about me: "She is good." And this is the highest praise in the mouths of Dudomovsky, people are divided into good and evil. Thank you, girls, we will still see you!
Every year, more than 20 thousand people come out of the children's homes of Russia in adulthood, as in space. Further fate is extremely understood by the language of prosecutor's statistics: 40% in the first years they go to prison, another 40% become homeless, 10% cum by suicide. The remaining 10% is "conditionally successful", that is, those who do not give special trouble to the state. The most successful - interests of the percentage. It is believed that the only chance that the graduate of the orphanage is given is a chance to a miracle. But the successful orphanages themselves are sure: while we will replace mystic technology, they will not have any chances
Happy end
Natalia Pigasova 26 years old. She sits on the sofa in his new apartment. No, not the one that the state was provided to her in accordance with the law: part of the germination in an abandoned village kindergarten. Natalia sits in his own apartment purchased in a new house for his own money. Yes, on credit, yes, in Ramenskoye, yes, an hour on the train to Moscow, but these 40 square meters are the result of their own efforts.
Natasha does not hear my questions, it's as if something stunned, she caresses from the space of a notch unfamiliar to her until now the state and smiles restrained as a turman's mind. The girl as if he had just returned from a long war and still could not understand how to live when no one shoots.
This is my second meeting with Pigasova. The first one took place seven years ago in the office of the company, the owner of which, Andrei Zakharov, was helped in those days to help children, and not only money, but also opportunities. He hired a 19-year-old graduate of the orphanage from the city of Shuya Ivanovo region, although at its salary it would be possible to hire a much more experienced office manager. In the first days, Natalia shocked the whole team that in his free time was not sticking out in ICQ, but walked on the office and rubbed the tables.
And if you still fill, you will come back on? - I asked her seven years ago.
No, I won't be back, "answered Natalia. - I like in Moscow. Here it is so quiet, calm.
Calm?!
Well, in the sense of no one knows you and you can become like that you want. And in Shu, everyone knows you as you are. There you just won't let you change.
Today it works as an accountant in the Moscow heating network and is studying at once in two universities: on a sociologist and economist. And seven years ago, Natalia saw a parquet for the first time in his life - in the room, which found an ad: "Elderly pensioners will surrender housing with a lonely girl." In place it turned out that retirees left for the summer to give, and instead of them - a couple of young and healthy "grandchildren." This is a well-established scheme in engaging in prostitution of naive provinces. And if Natalia came to this room alone, her fate would be predetermined. But with her were Murziki - people who know that miracles do not happen.
Murzik technology
I want you to remember one thing: you do not need anyone here. You, so wonderful, young - Lena, Venya, Katya, Natasha - do not need absolutely no one in this city. And I, Herman, so big and smart, too, no one is needed here, and if you need, only because I do what I do. Here in Moscow, you will be needed to someone, only if you do something. Nobody will flag over you, our time is very expensive. So think if you are ready to take such rules. If not - we will put you on the car and take it there, from where they brought.
It was also seven years ago. Hermann 14, the leader of the charity movement "Murzika", performed a disbelief on the first participants of his new project to adapt the orphan graduates to life in Moscow. Herman has not yet assumed that the success of the starting will be distributed inversely in proportion to its expectations. The smartest, Katya Fada, will come down from the distance in the first days and ascertained back to Rybinsk. Venia Kochetkov, to whom we will come back, filed great hopes, but led the pride, and in two years he also returned to his own. Summer Mouse Natasha Pigasov we already know. But most at first were tormented with Lena Fomina.
We took it into our firm to the secretary at the reception: Telephone, Paper, Tea-Coffee, meet, spend, - painfully told me at the time another Murzik Nikolai Sabinin. - At first, the whole office moaning it. When customers called, it seemed to them that they were in a dumplorn-pancake. And the worst thing - she did not want to change. At some point we are already desperate and began to look for her a replacement. But as soon as she understood it, the matter immediately moved from the dead point.
A few years later, Lena was still left from Sabinin's company, but herself was already on an increase in another firm. Since then, she has become a small boss, learned English, successfully married, but knew with Murziki, and even more so communicating with journalists does not want. He says he wants to forget how a terrible dream, his orphanage and everything that reminds of it.
Murziki's movement arose 10 years ago as a form of charitable tourism in the weekend. His founder, a plastic surgeon Hermann 14, once accidentally found himself in the orphanage number 72 of Rybinsk, where he experienced a moral shock: gray from the lack of maternal love of children, in the dining room - a menu of two lines and mayonnaise jars, instead of glasses. " Herman was rigorous, he began to buy wholesale children's clothing and on Saturdays to deliver it to orphans within a radius of 300 kilometers from Moscow. Gradually, they began to stick the same as he, young secured people, matured for reasonable social responsibility. In the end, Herman turned into a dispatcher of good gusts of the Moscow middle class.
I just built the logistics chains: I collected information about what kind of kinder you need, and found where these goods can be cheaper than to buy in bulk, - remembers Herman. - I gave newcomers and said: "Make everything yourself." With money, we initially did not have any business, the main thing is personal action. This caused confidence, and after a few years in our ranks there were already hundreds of Murzikov - from ordinary office employees to the owners of quite large companies.
Why Murziki?
The name was born out of emotion. This is the first word that came into my head when I saw orphanages. Already then we summed up the semantic base under this emotion: Murzik is both the little person who needs to help, and that little person who can help.
For several years, Murziki was dragged on tens of birthday tons of humanitarian aid. But with each weekend, it became more clearly more clearly, that it does not change anything in principle. Dressed, shoe and fed children after leaving the orphanage just also replenished prisons, streets, panels. In addition, the state by the middle of zero badly learned to ensure its institutions itself.
And then Herman decided to invest not only in the clothes, but also in brains. Murziki began to establish production in supreme orphanage, arrange exit labor camps for the summer, and then the idea arose to give the most promising graduates a chance to a career in Moscow. The scheme is simple: for the first six months, Murziki is looking for graduates of housing, they arrange them to work in the company belonging to them and watch what happens. The main condition is no concerns, everything should be like in life.
After all, they have all hospital syndrome, "says Herman. "They don't even know how kefir looks like a kefir." In the orphanage, they lived although not rich, but on all ready. And this habit - I must all! - Monstrously hard to overcome. Worst of all, when some bored altruist sticks to a graduate and begins to smear him ... Marmalade: Here are tea, coffee, beer, money. We generally tolerate altruists at all. They do not work on the result, but on the process. Because of them, we have already lost a few promising guys.
At the start of the Moscow project "Murzikov" caused a stormy discussion in charitable circles. Many believed that this is a ruthless experiment on a pediatric psyche: after the temptation of Moscow, they no longer want to work for a penny in their small town, and they are doomed to degradation. But the time has shown that these fears were in vain. For seven years, the hands of Murzikov passed dozens of orphan graduates, ran away from Moscow about half, but of them only the units disappeared from sight. After life in the capital, many in their homeland is easier to make a career: at least they already understand what it is.
Technology insepass
An orphanage in the city of Shua Ivanovo region is a huge gray building with a long corridor between two buildings. This corridor is a symbol of a standard graduate career. Going out of the walls of the orphanage, he is looking for the same cold treated walls and, as a rule, they find them.
All our guys are safely satisfied in life. - Director of the orphanage Anatoly Makarov, a man with the unpleasant eyes disappointed in the motherland of Chekist, issues a standard false phrase, thousands of times repeated by him and his colleagues in all sorts of conferences, pedsovets and graduation evenings.
True, in the first few minutes of the conversation, it turns out that it means to go to PTU. This is the only chance that state gives a graduate a state. So the only thing that on the boarding jaron of graduates is called "Hubzians" - from the word "Hubza", that is, vocational schools. In these institutions, they become for teachers by the main source of headaches, and for classmates - physical. But no, even the most Hellic headache will make the administration of PTU or college publicly say about the orphanage anything bad. Because for their third-rate educational product, the chief supplier of students, and therefore - budget financing.
From the orphanage in vocational schools, from Veta to nowhere - this chain built at the level of any area makes any efforts of orphans to grow up in the souls of orphans at least some ambitions. If suddenly, the director of the Shuisian boarding school will go crazy and starts hard to prepare his wards for admission to universities, it is most likely to come to the administration and say: "What do you do? Stop immediately! "
In the Yaroslavl region, the local charitable organization "Friends of the Russian orphans" recently held a study on this topic, the results of which turned out to be more than predictable: 49% of the children who entered professional schools from the first days of study did not attend classes. Of these, 8% - for the reason that they are already sitting in prison, the rest simply do not want. They suggest their behavior asking themselves because studying in vocational schools is not their choice, the state did it for them, so let it study.
But even those who are thin to the end of their studies, go to the so-called local labor market without learning nothing. And then the state inflicts them the last blow - issues the alimony accumulated over many years, which all this time deducted their parents deprived. Even if they paid minimal, it is still more than 200 thousand rubles. What after that can be a career?
The school that I graduated, every year produces 400 people, "says the former deddudomota Venya Kochetkov. - There's about half of ours there, and most do not even try to work. And if Pataushnik still comes to the autobomas or in the garage, he gives a bucket and say: "Burn to the Zaughzow, bring clearance." And most really run. After that, they immediately say goodbye. Because the clearance is not a liquid, but the distance between the lowest part of the car body and asphalt.
Venia Kochetkova we already know - he is from the very first Murzikovsky call. The story of his success began at 12, when a truck broke in the boarding school, and there was no money for repairs to repair. Then Venya simply took a tutorial on an auto mechanic, he read it for a long time, and then changed the cross in Kardan. The car earned.
It was so surprised, "says Venya. - Batz! - And something happened. I began to repair cars in the evenings in the evenings, and when I had already arrived at the college, I started buying old Avtoahlam, put it in order and sell more expensive. In principle, you can live in Shu, but I decided to go to Moscow, because I wanted to grow higher.
When seven years ago, I first talked with Venia, I first thought that Herman breed me - the boy came up from the Moscow intelligent family. Believe that in front of me a person who has lived in an orphanage from three years, it was impossible. He made a good Russian language very correct life attitudes, he struck some adult calm confidence in himself, for several months of work as a driver in one of Murzikov established himself from the best side. I didn't have the slightest doubt that I could not worry about the fate of Vingia Kochetkov.
The veins led the typical "disease" of the orphanage: the fact that in the language of psychology is called "the dominance of protective forms of behavior", and on human - inability to constructively resolve conflicts. When even Herman stopped in him doubt and let go to his free swimming, Venya suddenly quietly quit, without coping with an elementary problem: he has changed the boss - his new leader did not believe him and began to overcome from work, and to seek help to Herman Venya. Advantages.
From half a year, he was hung in Moscow - he worked in McDonalds, "but then suddenly I remembered that the state should have an apartment to him, and he returned to knock her out. She was engaged in this three years, he was depressed, but he achieved only the fact that he was in a queue without end and start. Probably, this attack of the firmity would finish it finally, if not a rare quality for the orphanage: Venya did not drank alcohol in his life. Finally, he desperately fuck something from the state, and as soon as she spat on this thing, his life began to stand again.
Now he works in two works - the driver on the Shui flight bus and an auto electrician assistant. I recently bought myself a house - old, horseradish, but his own. Proudly shows me in a prescription in the passport. And he says that when former children's waves learned about his act (educators), they only twisted the temple with his finger: "Why?! After all, the state of the apartment should! "
Now, it seems, we got to the most important thing. To a miracle. The most ordinary.
Mathone technology
In the boarding school for difficult adolescents, where the atmosphere of the eternal war between the frozen children and the icy adults reigns, the new teacher of singing comes - Cleman Mathieu. Incredible tension of the pedagogical talent, he managed to captivate children with singing and organize the choir of them, which in itself becomes a powerful educational tool. This threatens the professionable director, MSA with a raised, a repressive management system. As a result, Mathieu is expelled from work, the choir decays, but one of the pupils, who has recently considered the most hopeless, persuades his mother to pick it up from the boarding school, enters the conservatory and becomes a great musician.
This is a summary of the French film "Horists". He was shot six years ago and during that time became a cult for all successful orphanages, with whom I communicated. And this cult is perhaps the only thing they have in common. So, here and need to dig.
His Clemander Mathieu was almost all familiar to me successful orphans - a teacher of music, literature, physical education, a priest, anoinous veteran of war from the neighboring house, a graduate of boarding school, who managed to achieve something in life, a clockwork benefactor or even spinning, but not lost patriotic Saved military. Was her Clemane Mathieu and in Shuisky Detomy. His name was Anatoly Anatolyevich Heads. He, too, was a music teacher, but no one expelled him: he worked for 35 years and died last year. Almost all his students who subsequently achieved success were spiritually close to him. And who was not close - she did not achieve success. Copy further.
In Russia, a boom of development of social technologies is now, a story with "Murziki" is only one of many. The question "What to do with graduates of orphanages?" There are thousands of answers, hundreds of projects and dozens of attempts to implement them. Social creative boils in charitable organizations, the public sector, church circles. "Write a child a letter", "Ansify the Syrota to the Church", "Take a dedication to work" - rehabilitation technologies as dirt, and their authors, as a rule, hate each other, believing that only they save children, and the rest harm the cause. About the same Hermann Pyatov His "Competitors" told me gigabytes of the negative, and he himself issued no less about others.
And all these projects seem to be Metically correct, necessary and even sincere, but most of them are sinking in the fact that on professional jargon is called "Charitable Vampirism". This is when a person goes to help not for the sake of the result, but to increase its own self-esteem. As a result, the bulk of the effort is wasted or even harm. As one of the former orphans told me: "Sometimes I really want to wear a shirt with the inscription" Many have already gotten. Hurry up and you "".
If you look at this social renaissance with a sober look, then you have to admit: there are no bad social technologies. Each of them is good as much as "Factor Mathieu" operates with its implementation. It is superbatal, but it is: only a person who infects the child with his example, can pull him out into the world of successful people.
This "Factor Mathieu" is quite explained from the point of view of psychology. Among the researchers of the orphanage, the theory of the German psychotherapist Gunter Ammon, the founder of the Berlin school of dynamic psychiatry is very popular. According to Ammon, every person is born with the potential of the so-called structural aggressiveness, that is, with the desire to master and change the world around. And this instinct cannot be suppressed in any person without prejudice to his mental and even physical health. With the normal development of the child, this "aggression" is converted into a healthy creative principle. With defective upbringing, it acquires destructive character.
The system of modern orphanage practically carries the child to the second option. And the failure in this system occurs only when it accidentally turns out the "Clemar Mathieu virus". The problem is that the probability of the appearance of such a virus in the radius of the perception of the world is steadily declining.
Mathieu can not appear among teachers and educators, because the spear wages accumulate in the orphanage of non-professionals. Mathieu is less and less common outside the orphanage, because the human environment in provincial cities is impoverished, the best people are leaving. Mathieu will not hug even virtually - on the screens of televisions and pages of books, because the country lives without ideology and without heroes. A teenager for normal development is vital to feel in itself the potential of some large whole, but for this you need it, the whole, existed in nature.
And this is already a problem not only or childhood children, "says Oksana Puzenkova, deputy director of the boarding school, located in the village of food of the Smolensk region. - Before you come here, I worked for a long time in an ordinary school, and believe me, there is a percentage of successful children not much higher than here. Yes, they live in normal families, but do not receive sufficient attention from parents. They are not authority for children. In essence, these are the same orphans, only their orphans - family.
Technology Maradona
"After the boarding school, I finished PTU, and then served on a nuclear submarine. The submarine is very similar to the orphanage - there is nowhere to go with it. If after the service I returned to Suzdal, then exactly someone would kill someone and took it to jail. But in the train Murmansk - Moscow on my desk lay a gross newspaper in which I saw an announcement that the Petrozavodskaya School of Culture provides his students a hostel. I jumped from the already exhaust train, and it saved me. "
This is a quote from the book by Alexander Gezalov "Salt Childhood". Alexander, perhaps, the most famous orfit in Russia, in any case among other successful graduates. He is 40 years old, he has a bunch of medals and orders, he has the title "Man of the Year of the Republic of Karelia" and the largest charitable organization "Equilibrium" - and with all this good he lived on bird rights in the six-meter slang for ski storage Petrozavodsky boarding school number 22. And there would still live there, if it were not married and did not go to Moscow.
In his youth, Gezalova had a nickname Maradona - for little growth, a centerous physique and irrepressible energy. He does not go, and most often runs, spreading his hands to the parties, like a small airplane. And yet - he never had his Clender Mathieu. But this exception only confirms the rule.
A bad children's home is much better than a good orphanage, "Alexander himself explains the root of his success. - If your childhood was a real hell, it can awaken something in you for the future life. And a prosperous orphanage is a lullaby song before execution. Solominka for those who have already drowned. I was lucky: I grew up in a very bad orphanage.
"The waves understood that the boarding school was conveniently delegating their authority to senior pupils. And they drove themselves with their power, turning our childhood to hell. So it was and so there. Already becoming an adult, I realized that the state is exactly the same s. Appointing workers of children's homes, meager salary, it gives even normal children in the hands of people of unfortunate, flawed and vicious. When I was 7-8 years old, I often overheard how the waves in the smoking were talked about about this. Lucache, dirty, sometimes with hatred. Most of all I got my husbands. I then did not know who such husbands were thought, it was dogs or some other animals. "
When the pupil of Gezalov Doros to the senior classes, he arranged in the Suzdal Child House of PE. He and a few of his friends hit the whole class to refuse to perform their repressive functions. Everyone agreed that they would not beat the junglers. Alexander still can not explain why this happened. Perhaps, simply the previous generation of "Ochrichnikov" has ceased, having exhausted their class to such a state that the mechanism of psychological compensation has given ones. For the proh, it was equivalent to the revolution. They needed to rebuild the entire system of upbringing.
Alexander Gezalov also loves the movie "Chorists". Only he believes that in his Suzdal boarding school, the choir was born himself, without the help of Clender Mathieu.
In the future, graduates from our class did not meet the familiar prosecutor's statistics, "says Alexander. - those who found themselves in life turned out noticeably more than usual.
Himself of Gezalov for a long time floundered as he could, changed a bunch of works, but by 25 years he achieved only what he left afloat, did not get into prison, nor into the street or in a bottle. The recipe for this relative "success" is as follows:
Not to drink. Do not strive to get everything immediately. And ... - Long pause. - To beware of people.
Watch people?!
Yes. Do not run into this world, the opening of the arms until you learn to understand people.
Did you learn?
More than.
What can you say about me?
Let's not be better.
No, let's be.
Oh well. You can not trust a hundred percent. You are a man with good intentions, but very quickly you get tired of them. Flash and go out. Journalists are generally very similar to orphans.
In the sense?
Look at the orphanages who are behind the fence and ask for the passers-by cigarettes. And look at journalists to which some newsmaker came out. Some and the same faces.
The first person to whom heded all the same revealed his arms, became the actress Clara is Great. It was in the mid-90s. Alexander, by that time, is already Doros before the administrator of the Karelian Philharmonic, and he was far in Petrozavodsk on tour.
I accompanied her on a trip in the republic, told about my life, and she then told me: "Sasha, you should write about this book. And you have to do charity. You do not do our own business, so and you stand still. " So "Salt Childhood" appeared. And so it turned out everything that I did later.
"I started to" walk around the bodies. " Bodies most often met without getting up. They just pointed out which chair you can sit down. But I always sat on another, which surprised: how did I not obey? Then we started the conversation. When I understood that the meeting would be fruitless that the body would not give money, I quickly hid a teaspoon in my pocket. So that there is no feeling of failure. "
In the end, Maradon, after all, managed to build his game in the region. He established a charitable organization "Equilibrium", which was fitted in all structures capable of somehow change the situation: administration, diocese, business, and even local execution of sentences. He fell out the house of Baby's diapers, built up the region with churches and chapels, established regular communication with prisoners in the SIZO, but the main attention still pays to his internovsky.
His project is a club of future graduates of orphanages, in which they are taught to help each other to solve elementary problems independently, without hoping for anyone. His phone has any Karelian orphan, and he always answers their eshemis. The condition is one thing: not to complain, but ask for advice.
Having moved to Moscow, hezalov went to a new level - his "equilibrium" will now work with unfavorable families. Because, according to Alexander, the problem of orphan graduates have only one single rightful decision - to make it so that children's homes in Russia are not at all. And only that graduate of the orphanage can be considered truly successful, who will achieve it. Well, or at least try.
Of course, I do not suffer to the mania of greatness. I understand that this is so simple, I will not destroy this evil, "Maradona writes on Skype. "But one day I was struck by the thought, which one of my familiar priest expressed me - also, by the way, a former decorator. Here Christ - he came to the ground during the times of the slave-ownership. And never said: "Down with the Lord!" But Christianity won this system. People just accepted a new faith, and there was no place for slavery. So any system is secondary, and the human souls are primary, and first of all your own. Here with such wonders, Dima, we will work, and other miracles do not happen.
Photos: Sergey Kaptilkin for "RR"