How to get rid of jealousy. How to deal with her jealousy? Signs and reasons for women's jealousy

14.07.2019

Jealousy does not exist in itself. It is always a consequence of self-esteem, the consequence of mental injury, an overly developed ego or an acute complex of inferiority. She is able to burn the strongest relationships and feelings. On the other hand, without her relationship like food without spices - become fresh. The amount of jealousy in the emotional background of the pair is strictly individually. Someone does not accept her at all, but for someone it is proof of love. But in any case, it is always a painful condition and if it is needed for happiness to both partners - they are sick emotionally. Is it possible to cure this disease?

What is this feeling?

Are subject to jealousy in the same degree of man and women. The main motive revealing jealousy is the desire of all. Passionate desire to own a partner is undivided. Only a free personality can take the right to freedom of choice of another person. What prevents the revisions to be free, or what are the true causes of jealousy?

The first and most important reason - a developed sense of property

Diffidence. By nature, it can be primary, that is, the inherent person initially due to a complex of upbringing and life experience, or secondary, when a person has already had a negative experience in particular these relationships. A person is afraid that as a result of comparing him with an opponent, the partner will choose another. That he is worse, not so beautiful, smart, successful, attractive, sexy, etc. He constantly compares himself with someone and always is someone better than he. Against this background, he understands that it is impossible to allow comparison situations, because there is a chance to lose your beloved.
Fear of loneliness. The causes of jealousy in women are often associated with a banal fear to remain alone. If, at the same time, the couple have children, it is subconsciously afraid of their children, because a man is a breadwinner. With age, the fear of loneliness is enhanced, which means that it is growing and distrust. A person tries to tie a partner to him, control all its contacts and actions.
Anxiety. The reasons for women's jealousy are often hidden under an inexplicable excitement or anxiety. In society, historically it happened that men are in polygamy. On, that is, certain reasons. As a result of wars, harmful habits and thrust to traumatic types of leisure and sports, the ratio of sexually active, healthy men in society has shifted significantly to the number of women. Competition of women for a man became stronger than men for women. Therefore, the ladies are in a state of constant combat readiness. To maintain this state you need to have a strong nervous system. When psychological overload occurs - the woman is tired, suffered stress, got injured the nervous system gives a failure and, being invalid to competition, a woman begins to jealous his man. So it manifests her innate fear of losing the father of his children and the breadwinner.

Insecurity - the second prevalence cause of uncontrollable jealousy

In addition, women are subject to huge hormonal overloads during pregnancy and after it. On the one hand, she herself feels ugly, thick, unattractive, on the other hand, they beat hormones on the head, which add emotionality.

During this period, a man needs to be extremely attentive and helpful to his companion, in order not to give a reason for jealousy. After all, she very quickly penetrates the consciousness of pregnant and nursing ladies.

Views

Despite the variety of forms, it is conventionally distinguished by several types of this state, depending on the prevailing motive:

How to cure this disease?

Should I doubt - can excessive jealousy be the cause of separation? Quite. Any relationships are based on trust. The presence of jealousy implies the lack of confidence. No confidence - no freedom, there is no freedom - no love. Love is impossible without freedom. If you love a person - you, first of all, you want him to be good. If he is good with someone else - loving, let go.

If you want, first of all it is good to you - this is not love, but ordinary egoism. Therefore, treatment of jealousy is the treatment of egoism. Recognize the right partner for happiness, get rid of envy and anger, forgive yourself for the suffering that brought to yourself, this is what will have to work with a person who decided to get on the way to get rid of this disease. It is difficult to get rid of this feeling, so you need the help of a practitioner psychologist. Without such an opportunity, it is necessary to look for support in religion, philosophy, authorities, partners, friends.

Speak with your partner more often. Feelings are good, but still people of creatures are social and to disclose the situation, gaining confidence and understanding, it is necessary to talk about problems with their second half.

Jealousy-possession is worse than others to treat. This painful state brings suffering to both parties. Find words that you can convey to the partner, your pain. Jealousy-infringement also requires the desire to work on the correction of both partners. Tell the jealousness, what is wonderful and how much you love him and do not want to lose it.

Often, jealousy is not a consequence of love, but is generated by a vulnerable person, who simply does not want to realize that he preferred someone else

Remember, jealousy is a prison for love, she cares in her and dies, or runs away forever. Only true love is free from the flour of jealousy. Take care of your loved ones, love and be free.

"Let go of his pain")

10 reasons that feed jealousy.
Exercise for self-help.

Case from practice.

Question: Help please solve the problem. Very jealous wife, straight reaches the absurdity. She does not give me reasons for jealousy. We are 7 years old, there is a daughter, everything is fine in the family and, nevertheless, until what I start following it, I keep track of her contacts in social networks, check the phone and all such a similar one. Once hired a private detective. He followed the week and did not find anything. She is very offended by all these my actions and recently said that if it does not stop, then she divorced me.

In general, I understand that the problem is in me. What should I do to stop jealous? Thanks in advance for the answer.

Answer: In order to get rid of jealousy, it would be nice to understand its reasons. Jealousy may occur if there is:

1. Distrust of the partner (it may arise if the jealous before marriage had a lot of sexual partners, or there were partners in the second half).

2. Insecurity (it happens from shortly in childhood, from lack of attention from parents, or vice versa, from their increased demands).

3. Sexual dissatisfaction (inability to diversify sexual life, shame to confess their sexual fantasies, unwillingness-laziness to meet a partner, fear of being injured, social taboo and prohibitions).

4. Lack of attention to her husband (especially if a woman has little children).

5. The courtesy of the partner to the persons of the opposite sex (it arises from a partner with a lack of communication and can form him, for example, a desire to widely communicate in social seeds as compensation for this shortage of communication and innocuous entertainment).

6. The impassableness of the relationship (often arises in the first stages of living together).

7. Nearmonic communication in a pair, when it happens on the principle of communication Parent-child or an adult child, or a child-child (you can read the book E. Burn "People who play games").

8. Insufficient communication. The lack of a real understanding of itself and its partner, superficial relations, unwillingness to understand independently for the causes of misunderstanding.

9. Jealousy, as a means of attacking for better protection of yourself according to the principle: "While I am jealous, you will not suspect me in treason."

10. The influence of the cultural tradition of the ethnic. The traditional view of the Russian people, socially approved behavior according to the principle: "jealous, it means he loves", "beats - hence loves." These winged expressions about the fact that a person is experiencing very strong feelings, but this is not love, but just about its deficit.

Foundation of Jeanity - fear of loss. The course of the thoughts of the jealous partner usually goes as follows: I compare myself with a man of my sex and puts it better (relatively) qualities. Fantasy fines his work, as a result I feel the fear of being abandoned, devoted, rejected, deceived, used, insolvent.

A jealous man is afraid of losing a favorite woman, and as a result she leaves him, unable to live under constant load, pressure, suspicion. It goes just nowhere, not to another man, but simply from these relationships to feel comfort and exemption from the feeling of unfair. From the oppression of this terrible charge.

And it happens that the offended woman begins to change, so that again, not to feel unfairly accused, not because she liked someone else, but simply from the feeling of protest. It turns out that jealousy pushes to treason!

Jealousy is dictated by the desire to submit a partner, make it completely addicted. With the help of jealousy, you can form in a partner and calmly manipulate them. "If how many goals are so many minds, then how many hearts are so many loving love," L.Nolstoy wrote. Everyone loves, as I can or as learned, or as this relationship has absorbed in childhood, youth.

I had a client a few years ago, a very beautiful and successful young man suffering from jealousy. As a result, it turned out that he also had a mistress.

They began to understand, found out that the roots of his jealousy lie in childhood when he had to compete with his brother for the love of mother. After several meetings (7-8) with the client, the jealousy began to torment him less, but he didn't want to work further, otherwise it would take to throw a mistress. Each person has its own way and their understanding of love and happiness.

Look at your actions from the side. What do you want to get from your spouse? Excuse, assurances of her strong love and affection for you, evidence?

What kind of evidence will be sufficient for you, so you stop jealous?

An innocent person must prove anything.

I think this is the road to nowhere. Moreover, that you yourself wrote that no reasons for your spouse gives you.

Now let's look at the effectiveness of your methods to hold a spouse next to you. She told you that he would give a divorce. It means that your method is not only not effective, but quite the opposite - leads to the destruction of family relations. Only sincere love, care, understanding, patience, adoption of a beloved person with all his pros and minuses (and with minuses especially) can be held.

Since jealousy is an emotional process, then it is necessary to solve it at the level of emotions, and in this format I can give you only some brain construction. I am not an angel herself, I had a hard experience of the experience of jealousy, and however, you can cope with this attack.

I really like our artist, Satir's writer Mikhail Zadornov. I respect him very much and admire it that he increases the self-esteem of the whole nation. He has wonderful thoughts on the topic of jealousy. Jealousy is the opposite of loyalty.

You first punish yourself. Question: What? Do you feel about my wife?

When the emotions are overwhelmed, raise your right hand (as shown in the movie when they swear on the Bible) and tell me loudly: stop. Make a long step to the side. Strongly slap your hands.

Change your negative thought that accompanies emotion to positive. And do so many times until you feel clear relief. Tell yourself that cease to punish yourself with the help of jealousy. And forgive for everything. It would be nice to frankly talk to his wife. Tell her only about what you feel, and not about what you think about her. Maybe it makes sense to ask the spouse forgiveness for your non-trust. Loving woman will find for you the most faithful and tender words.

For each person, the word "jealousy" has a different meaning. In any communication sometimes there is a feeling of jealousy. Jealousy is the feeling, and not emotion. A feeling of jealousy appears in relation to a person who means a lot of great importance in life. Jealousy is also a steady feeling. So why is jealousy?

Causes of jealousy

Love. Razing phrase: "jealous, which means - loves" nothing to do with real life. Jealousy means distrust, or just a sense of ownership. Obviously, any person expects full devotion and loyalty from her beloved person. But still every person, whether it is a man or a woman, is afraid of losing her beloved or beloved. Hence jealousy. If jealousy is a kind of sense of ownership, then there will not even smell love. Just the "owner" acquired the "item" liked to him and now bends, if suddenly the "thing" begins to show character. Sketch from such "owners", because it is from such cases that there is home tyranny and all other troubles.

Diffidence. The morally strong person never drops to a small domestic scandal on the ground "Why is he staring at you?!" Or the female option: "Why is she almost hanging on you ?!" For a confident person, you will always be his subject of pride and adoration. And your second half will be proud that you are next to him or with her and his confidence will only increase. Such a person will always be a support and support for you. But be prepared, what will require you instead of the same. Uncertain in themselves, people will doubt absolutely all and everyone. Sort of "non-believers". No matter how hard you try to please such a person, you can never do it. The new reason for jealousy will be found. In this regard, it is impossible not to remember the phrase Sergey Sergeyevich Pathodov from the film "Cruel Romance". This phrase sounds as follows: "The jealies are jealous without any reason."

Fear of loneliness. It follows from self-satisfaction. A person with such fear is afraid not so much to lose his favorite or beloved, how much just again stay alone or one. So people like air, it is necessary to awareness of their own need and significance in your life. But calm the jealousness with such a cause of jealousy is the easiest. They will have enough words like: "I need you need / need," "I can't live without you," "I love you", etc. And immediately the storm subsides, as the jealous of the reassure is soothing, because someone is needed.

Excitement. Such people are jealous because it is elementary worried about you. They can not know every minute, whether everything is fine with you, who is near you and will not cause you harm to you. The jealies cannot protect you every minute of your life and help if this very help is needed. This is one of the most frequent reasons why jealousy appears. The person who you are expensive is trying to protect you from everything bad in this world, often not realizing that you are a whole, independent person, capable of getting well in the outside world.

Attempt by self-defense. It happened to treason. Only not on your part, but from your beloved or loved one. And after this treason, awareness comes to what it could not only be done (she herself), but you too.

Types of jealousy

Severe two types of jealousy:

Object-motivated jealousy. Simple words are a sense of ownership experienced by one partner towards another. There is such a type of jealousy, where one partner has power over the other. And jealousy in this situation turns out to be elementary fear of losing this power. Object-motivated jealousy often includes a component of the overestimated self-assessment. Relaxing the jealousness with such a type of jealousy is impossible, because he sees the evidence that may not be. All your excuses such a jequinist interprets in the opposite sense, that is, the more you justify, the more he considers himself the right side, and you - guilty.
Subject-sensitive jealousy. This is the fear of losing an object of dependency. In this situation, a person does not feel the opportunity to lose his power over someone, and his own instability due to losing someone's attention. Such jealousy is typical of people with self-esteem problems.

Despite the above causes of the appearance of jealousy and types of jealousy, diagnose and analyze the jealousy itself difficult because of the mixture of causes and types. Even the definition of the type of jealousy (it would seem that it's easier) - a difficult thing, because there is no one-sided dependence.

Jealousy in pairs with long-term relationships, as a rule, arises where there is no partnerships between the two parties, but there is a direct confrontation of the type "who is the main thing here and who is reserved", that is, everyone pulls the blanket on themselves. Often for this reason, the work of the psychotherapist is conducted with someone with some of the pair.

How to cure jealousy in women and men?

Not only people are suffering from jealousy, in which this jealousy is spreading this jealousy, but, as a rule, the revisions themselves. The feeling of jealousy spoils relationships, because jealousy is doubts about a loved one. Such doubts sooner or later will still spoil your relationship and lead to a rupture. Therefore, do not run the problem of jealousy, fight it until this jealousy has become pathological. But how to cure jealousy?

Stages of treatment

For the treatment of jealousy, several consecutive steps are distinguished:

Improving self-esteem. The basis of self-assessment is laid by parents in childhood in the process of upbringing. But the level of self-esteem may drop sharply in adulthood due to a certain situation that causes severe psychological trauma.
Self-criticism. Do not engage in self-criticism or, simply speaking, myself too often. You are not a dollar and can not like everyone. You should not compare ourselves with other people, because comparisons may not be in your favor.
Watch out. Caring for their appearance will take you a lot of pleasure, and the result of this care will increase self-esteem. Do not be lazy to attend the hairdresser, periodically update the wardrobe, stick to a certain diet and go to the gym.
Collapse your own emotions. To sort out the emotions that you worry, do not lie yourself, be honest with you. After analyzing, determine how everything that happens in your life affects you, which causes positive emotions, and what is negative. Try to avoid situations that cause you negative emotions.
Conversation with the object of your love. Explain to the person you like, that you are very jealous of it, but also tormented it. Never blame someone you like and in no case shout. The conversation should be calm, honest and frank. Usually, after such a conversation, jealousy dies.
Self confidence. Remember your progress and victories, praise yourself for them. Do not be afraid to make mistakes, because all people are not perfect and only the sapper is mistaken.
Do not dwell on your jealousy. Take away from thoughts that the person you love is changing you. For this you can go shopping, make up cleaning, any sport or a favorite hobby. The main thing is that this case distract you from negative thoughts about the possible treason of your beloved person. Also try to remember times more often when you were good together.
Appeal to a specialist. This item is already for the most "running" cases. If nothing helps you to distract from your jealousy, then you need to seek help from a graduate specialist. Otherwise, your pathological jealousy you destroy not only your life, but also the life of the person you love.

Treatment of female jealousy

Many women themselves want to get rid of their jealousy. So how to cure jealousy in women?

Several methods for the treatment of women's jealousy are distinguished:

Negation. The woman herself and completely deliberately closes his eyes to painful thoughts and pretends that nothing happened. But this method is not suitable for every woman, because it is necessary to have "iron" nerves, but not every woman possesses.
Improvement. Woman finds the reason in herself. If she has some reason to suspect a man, then the woman believes that the reason is hidden in it itself. Usually, women who live in the matriarchal type of family consider it.
Compensation. In this case, a woman is looking for positive sides that could compensate for men's shortcomings. Often with such parties the recognition of the facts that a man is a good father, he earns well, etc.
Transferring thoughts. In this situation, a woman thinks about his jealousy, and then thinks about whether it would not want to change she herself.
Full alienation. In this situation, the woman is fully revealed from the situation, but such a revenue occurs after the cheating. A woman just tries to show that above all this "dirt."

Treatment of men's jealousy

Women is a male jealousy, and they are often wondering: "How to cure jealousy from my man?".

Do not provoke jealousy.
Do not hide your plans from your man. Call and warn if you hold back somewhere.
Try to spend together as much time as possible. In this case, your man will not feel deprived of your attention.
Introduce him to all menwho you know yourself. Whether classmates, classmates, work colleagues or even just familiar - do not neglect anyone in order not to give an extra reason for jealousy.

Jealousy is not the best of feelings. This feeling kills love and all good in relationships. Burn with your jealousy, and then love will not leave your home anywhere.

Psychoanalyst, art therapist.

The causes and motives of jealousy may result from both children's experiencing experiences and psychological characteristics (for example, narcissistic personality disorders) and from life situations - existential manifestations related to isolation and fear of loneliness, with injustice and betrayal in the past, with fear of loss of material factor a. The causes of this feeling can be both unconscious and conscious.

Most often, a serious difference in age is always good soil for jealousy. If one of the partners are older than another, with time the physiological leap begins to occur, which leads to a qualitative difference between the rating of relations, and it creates an inequality that leads to a decrease in self-esteem. As a result, it causes suspicion and fear of losing a partner.

There is a notion of "jealousy of the talent", the motive of which is the distracting maneuver to conceal his own treason. Usually, this kind of a class is in constant stress from his own lies, so he often assigns the jealousy of his partner. On the one hand, he tries to hide the deception and his adherence to the left, on the other hand, it is being tormented by doubts about the partner of the partner - maybe changed the modest too?

Thus, to conceal his change, he chooses the style of a zealous terror in relations for psychological control and manipulation of the partner's vigilance.

So, the causes of jealousy can be:

Inadequate self-esteem, insecurity;
Neurotic personality disorders, a complex of inferiority;
Jealousy of the priest in self-defense purposes;
Age crisis;
Provocative games, flirting;
Injums of past relationships.

Signs of jealousy manifest as:

Inflatable imagination and bright sexy fantasies, obsessive thoughts. Lead to modeling and presentation with a revision of various situations, taking a harmless reason as a basis;
Custom accusations. The slightest signs of attention and decency aside and on the part of the partner are regarded as love hints for sexual relations. The lateness or force majeure is considered as the possibility of treason;
Total control over the circle of communication and work. The data about friends of the partner are collected, information in the computer, telephone, as well as business and working connections;
Establishing a secret or explicit surveillance for a partner to confirm the facts of treason;
Scandals and public scenes. Frequent emotional flares of jealousy for public spanking - as a preventive measure for conscience of a partner, to control and impose feelings of guilt.

From the very beginning of the human existence there were two important feelings - love and jealousy. Two completely opposite qualities are eternal satellites of human relations. Even in the animal world there is a second. It is not known how about love, although the attachment between the female and the male is noted constantly, but the jealousy is always there. But what does it mean and why in family relationships arises jealousy? A sign of what is feeling, is it necessary between a man and a woman and how affects the fortress of marriage?

There are folk sayings "If jealous - loves!", "The stronger love, the stronger and jealousy!", "Jealousy is the shadow of love itself!" etc. The poems, novels, treatises are devoted to this topic. Because of jealousy, war, conflicts, people killed each other. But how are the feelings are interrelated?

Correctly speak the people, that if jealous, it means not indifferent. It is worth understanding the types of jealousy a lot. Some guide this feeling towards another person because of selfishness, the second due to the fear of losing relationships. There is also a type of men and women suffering from mental illness. For them, jealousy is one of the forms of manifestation of the psyche disorder, and in a hysterical, dangerous form.

Can jealousy kill true love

Yes, unfortunately, this feeling simply destroys strong relationships. This is about:

cynical;
rough
offensive;
humiliating;
baby jealousy.

As a rule, it is manifested after the official entry into the marriage union. It would seem that all is well, full idyll, the second half is not what he loves, but adores, but still there are the reasons for which jealousy and scandals arise. And they suffer from this "disease" both halves - both husband and wife. For such a person, there is not enough complete and unconditional love, it will continue to torment, the trust will disappear.

An example - she was called by phone. And while the conversation lasts, pleasant, cheerful, it will rush out of the corner in the corner, and feel the alarm, fear, an explosion of emotions. "Who is there on the end of the tube, maybe this is some kind of designer with whom she wants to instruct me" horns ", or a girlfriend with which they agree to go to someone on a date." It is not enough that the jealous of the jealous of the terrible thoughts, he also arranges a surveillance for his wife, or controls her regime, limits contacts with friends, relatives.

The same thing happens with jealous. She is unbearable to ensure that the spouse communicates with former classmates, a cousin, girlfriends at the institute, employees on work. And in the same way, she arranges "espionage" behind him, secretly stones his mobile phone, does not let go to friends, to relatives, etc. In short, it comes to the utmost marasmus. And what's the shame, the conversations in this situation will not help anyone. There is an internal problem that needs to be solved gradually. Perhaps you will need the help of an experienced psychologist, and even a psychiatrist.

After all, most often a person understands that he suffers from psychological illness, but nothing can do with it. But why does this ill-fated jealousy arise, and what is it - a sign of distrust or the most true love?

Common example from life. "Larisa K. Married about 3 years. With Igor, they got married in great love and dreamed of living their lives together. But about a couple of weeks after the wedding it was replaced. She could not communicate not that with friends and relatives of the opposite sex, but also with girlfriends.

He forbade her to attend parents, demanded that those came to visit them. But for some time there is no time, the mild and sociable lara stopped appearing at family celebrations, both in their relatives and close spouse.

The thing is that for her it was not a rest, but the test. Rather, she suffered after dinner. After all, it is impossible to spend time surrounded by people and do not communicate with anyone. It was worth her at least throw a pair of words with someone from acquaintances, the scandal was provided. No, Igor never swore before outsiders. But his nervousness was felt by everyone, tensions arose. And he composed anything, if only faster to retire from the celebration. The house began horror. Screams, Ore, accusations of infidelity, insults. On other days it was a golden man, but the pathological jealousy reduced the "no" of all his efforts. "

What is jealousy

Jealousy is a versatile feeling. She can, how to strengthen the marriage relationship, and completely destroy love.

Young people in the candidate-flower period do not give this sense of much importance. Moreover, "if he or she jealines, then, it really loves and is afraid of losing love." Agree, such a situation can flatter any person. The situation means that it makes no sense to be afraid to lose the second half. Since "she is completely under my control and watches, as not to lose me." That is, a guarantee of the strength of the relationship arises. But experts claim that falling on the "rod" of jealousy, a person risks losing freedom. And not ordinary, and complete.

From the very beginning to draw attention to the nature of the manifestation of the feeling. If these are attacks in which a person is not able to keep emotions - a doctor's assistance is needed, a psychologist. Another thing, if a person tactfully shows that he is afraid of losing you. The point is really in love. And the pathological jealousy is complete distrust. In his thoughts, he sees you in terrible angles changing, treacherous. Next, the attitude inside will deteriorate.

Only light jealousy and love can be combined in a normal person, and they will strengthen the marriage, will become an incentive to create a full-fledged family, the birth of children, etc.

The manifestation of feelings depends on the person himself, its character, temperament, education, mental state. If he is able to keep himself in his hands, that is, controlling jealousy - everything will be fine. After all, the majority of the planets are jealous, but not everyone knows how to curb quality. The ability to neatly express about his discontent is expensive. It is to such a gallant opinion, as a rule, the second half is listening.

Moreover, controlled jealousy is a plus in relationships. Let the beloved person know and sees that he is roads and do not replace.

If a person is not able to control himself - he is dangerous. In the rustling of jealousy, a tremendous number of grave crimes committed. Remember the story with the family of boa. "No one could assume that Irina and her spouse Alexey have problems in relations. Just a woman was silent and did not tell anyone how his husband got his jarny. It came to the point that they divorced, but continued to live in the same apartment. Two children were constant disassembly and humiliation.

It all ended the tragedy. The next quarrel of the former spouses turned into a man's hands-written, who in a rush of anger simply strangled a woman. To hide your crime, he threw a message on the network that Irina disappeared. Crowds of volunteers fusified Moscow parks and Moscow region. And the husband folded his wife's body into the bag and left on the balcony.

It was a case in winter, stood a strong frost, and for this reason nothing gave the crime. Police examined the entire apartment and even went to the balcony. But they could not assume that a package with a body was lying in the corner. And only when a man decided to transport her to the forest and bury, the police found him surprise. They just asked to open the trunk, and there was the deceased Irina. "

Here is a clear example of what you can not connect your life with a person who is not able to control their feelings. And how it all started beautiful. Families pointed that once it was a beautiful and harmonious couple. Now the father is in prison, a wife in the grave, and children remained orphans and are brought up with the parents of Irina.

Why jealousy arises

Probably, many of us agree to consider in a person love is much more complicated than jealousy. The first feeling is often hidden, afraid to open. But as for the second, everything flies here with the coils. He fired - get scandal, reproaches. Unrestrained people as far as they tried, they cannot hide their discontent and certainly want to say about this in the second half. And judging by the above examples from the life of the Kabanov family, we understand that a light and flattering feeling can quickly turn into despotism and.

And sometimes permanent accusations of infidelity literally pushed a woman or her husband in the arms of another person. Why you need to constantly justify and listen to insults for what I did not. Since I was to blame, then in the case. Strange, paradoxical situation. But it is treason with another puts the point on family relationships. And even if the spouse or spouse is goodbye to betray, then there is no longer anything about the past confidence or sincerity. We now turn to a more detailed study of the main causes of jealousy.

Inferiority complex. If someone says that the jealous suffer from low self-esteem, it will be absolutely right. But it is worth noting that a person can feel his own inferiority of both consciously and at the subconscious level. Most often, this is manifested in the following moments: "He can find more beautiful than me," he pulls him on long-legged beauties, "" She can get carried away with a rich friend, "" Her strong men are attracted, beautiful, and I'm not like that "and T ..
Past life. If the second half had before that marriage, or a spouse or spouse had a long love relationship, had before the marriage of lovers, then conflicts will emerge in family life with jealous. For example, a jealous husband will not miss the moment so as not to reproach the spouse in her lovingness and immediately remind you of her long connection with the former lover.
Participation of third parties. So people are arranged that they cannot not be justified about the family life of their buddies, friends. It is impossible to say that only female half is successful. Believe me, men either will not miss the opportunity to move the bones to the spouse of their close friend. Especially painful for her husband hear that his wife once met by some of them. Sometimes in retaliation for the fact that she did not let go of a fishing husband, insidious people can compose a story about her ugly behavior in his absence.
No less guilty of family labels due to jealousy and girlfriends. Someone can talk in three boxes only because he envies harmony in relations between a married couple. Well, how, my really does not work, it does not earn anything, and here you are doing like a dove, he makes her expensive gifts, wears in his arms. Also, a man who could not arrange his family happiness could also create a goat against the loving couple. Not only envisteous, so much has accumulated so much anger for your fate that I want to make it all on my way. And what about, I do not want to be lonely and unhappy one, you need others to make a company in an eleceptible and offensive position.
Alcoholism. In this case, the attacks of jealousy and rage occur due to the effects of alcoholic beverages. Here you do not need any reasons that jealous everything has already painted in your imagination and is ready to pounce on your victim for no reason. It all starts with a small quarrel on the basis of drinking light beverages. Then the amount of alcohol increases, and the rage is sharpened. It comes to the point that the jealous of the scandals with enviable regularity. In any case, his booms begin to be associated with scandal, insults, humiliation, etc.

Types of jealousy

Psychologists conducted a mass of experiments and allocated 4 main types of jealousy, with which almost each of us faces. Or and worse, suffers from this psychological disease.

Tyranny. The jealousy of this species is characteristic of despotic, unrestrained, coarse and stubborn persons. Usually, such types are required from the environment too much, and it is impossible to fully comply. They do not cause any understanding, no regret, nor sympathy. They are not able to arrange a person to themselves and are ready to arrange a scandal, conflict at any time. To live with such a day hell. There will be no holidays, no celebrations, no weekdays without tears, offended and disappointment. Persons with these impartial traits of character never feel guilty, but only angry at those who surround them. As a rule, these are creative people - artists, singers, writers.

Low self-esteem. This type suffers in uncertainty in itself, is in constant anxiety, anxiety, suffering with dimming, weakness of character. They often plunge into longing, sadness, depression, and for this you do not need some worthwhile reason. They are waiting for trouble, and such a feeling that they attract them. The same in relation to the second half. Now and then they are waiting for them to "horns", they even think about how treason is happening. And by inertia, in every familiar of his wife or spouse, they see a potential Uhager, and even a real opponent, lover (mistress).

Jealousy facing. There is no behavior of a person who will not miss a single skirt (trousers). These people themselves are incorrect, walk to the left and right. And of course, they believe that their half suffers the same habit. Knowing how ugly to change, they are afraid to be a victim of the Aduiltra and become cuckold. That is, as they say, "judged!".

Jealousy grafted. Most likely, a person was brought up in a family where there was no sincere love and trust between parents. He absorbed as a sponge of a certain type of relationship, in which someone from the elders or both parents go to the left. And for him there is a stereotype - the woman is wrong with his husband (or dad is wrong with his wife).

The opinion of the authoritative people who listened to a person from orphanage was also important. It can also be parents, some of the close relatives. If Dad said all my life that "all the women ..." (you know what word), then the child has a concrete opinion about the woman and feel confidence in his beloved he will not be able to. In any case, for the formation of another, positive opinion will need to spend time, nerves and patience.

Jealousy adult woman. According to statistics, about 30% of cases of divorce causes a treason. And no matter how people argued, nor proved the opposite, mostly of the wines lies on them. Nature has created them polygamous beings.

Here you need to pay tribute - not only young, but the female gray men are not lagging behind in the amount of betrayal. You know such a term - "". So, now it has become a real science, the behavior of representatives of strong sex at the age of 40. They are fond of and, as a rule, young girls. Of course, experienced ladies approaching a certain age for her husband causes concerns. That family friend left the family, then the other. In this whirlwind of hobbies can get her husband.

What remains his legitimate wife? Caulter old age alone and suffer because of the betrayal of a person she presented her love, youth, the best years of life. They built the future together, and all the laurels will reap the special, which will come to all ready. So the woman of Balzakovsky age looks at all potential mistresses of his spouse with anger and distrust. And, of course, she jealines him to each post.

Jealousy is solid. There is an alarm and anxiety based on the real state of affairs. It happens in life - she loved the other. Or he met the one about which he dreamed of all his life. Yes, before that, no one forced him to go with you under the crown, but an error occurred, a failure. Nobody wanted to do nobody. But to live away from your loved one - unbearable flour. It is necessary to talk, and seriously, open, not hiding "cards".

If there is strong love - you need to go to her, and not torture either yourself nor the second half. Why wonder the time to spend time. So the one who stayed alone with problems will be able to win time and maybe he will meet the true fate of his whole life.

It is important to understand that the main cause of acute jealousy is distrust, and not only to the beloved object, but also to itself. But do not forget that the second half can also give a reason to feel discomfort and feel the growing horns on the top of the top.

Famous psychologists in their opinion converge in one - jealousy - this desire to fully possess a person. And not only physically, but also morally, psychologically. There is a desire to control his thoughts, plans, dreams, and, of course, actions and actions. But so build relationships categorically impossible. Do not forget that your spouse is also someone's friend, brother, employee, boss, son, nephew, uncle, etc. A person should belong only to himself and enjoy what is cute and interesting.

Everything comes from childhood

These studies are more than depressing. The farther, the greater the divorces because of family treasures. If in former times, people tried to obey the rules of decency, they were afraid of condemnation from the outside, now complete freedom of action. Especially concerned about the behavior of young people. No, we are not Hangi and believe that young people have the right to proximity. But we are categorically against random sexual connections.

Whatever the film we did not look - everywhere everything ends with a bed. They still do not know each other, she is drunk, he is drunk - immediately went to the toilet nightclub and merged in ecstasy. Full loss of morality, no fears and fears for health. Even worse - people stopped being afraid to commit the sin of adultery. What kind of loyalty can we talk about if, before that, each of the couples or one of them constantly took into random sex.

There is such a thing - "erasing faces." If you constantly twist the bolt, then the carving will be erased, and in a person who changes the sex partner without stopping, the shame is erased, conscience, decency measures.

Everything comes from childhood. Parents need to be paid as much attention as possible to such issues as decency, reputation, authority, respect for others, purity of thoughts and souls. Only so you can bring up a person for whom sexual proximity will be something special and pleasant, and not an ordinary adventure, one of the sports. And there will be no aggressive jealousy in his life, the wishes to control their half everywhere and arrange her scandals about and without.

So far.
Sincerely, Vyacheslav.