How to lag behind the person you love. Wait to enter into a new relationship. He is the center of the universe

13.07.2019

Probably, each of us faced such a problem, some on our own bitter experience, and someone, comforting a friend who “didn't work out”. One way or another, each thought about how to forget the person you love, so as not to dream at night and not cry into your pillow. It is clear that quickly forgetting your beloved, no matter how hard you try, will not work, it takes time and the more the better. But you can speed up the process by making the most of your time. Let's look at ways to forget your loved one forever.

Step 1

The first thing to do in order to forget a loved one is to realize as clearly as possible that he is already a former, passed stage in your life. And there is no point in going back. Do not walk in circles all your life. And since you decided to forget, then you need to do this right away, you should not be interested in the life of the ex, call and make scandals. Just delete the phone number and prohibit mutual friends from notifying you about his life, you are no longer interested in it. True, when answering the question of how to forget a loved one forever, some psychologists give advice to call ex-men. But only sometimes, and only if you really want to dial his number. An unfulfilled desire can lead to depression, and therefore it is necessary to call, but only in order to communicate in a friendly way. If you do not feel such abilities in yourself, then we forget his phone number, email address and other contacts.

Step 2

The advice of any psychologist on how to forget a loved one will necessarily contain the following paragraph: "Do not keep emotions in yourself." This means that you need to find a grateful listener and burst out well, tell how it hurts, and so on. If you can't find a listener, or if you can't express your emotions for some reason, try to give them a different outlet. For example, do you feel angry with your ex? Tear his photographs to shreds, shoot the soft toys presented to him with darts, throw his things from the balcony (just don't aim at passers-by), whatever.

Step 3

Not sure how to quickly forget your loved one? Psychology advises us to think about whether he was so good, to make out all his positive and negative features. Remember this old technique: divide the sheet in half and write the pluses in one column and minuses in the other. Often this method helps, if you don’t forget your beloved, then you’ll be disappointed in him for sure. An offended woman finds so many shortcomings that at the end of filling out the table she is amazed how she has lived with this monster until now.

Step 4

How to try to forget a loved one? But in any way, stop already, in the end, trying to stubbornly erase him from your memory. Just live on, there is still so much good in life, and it was, and is, and will be. Don't dwell on the past. Well, so that unnecessary thoughts do not visit you, fill your day with deeds to the limit. This does not mean that you need to turn into a workaholic, walks in the park (shops), meetings with friends, fitness classes are perfect under the concept of "business" (in the cutting and sewing circle, modeling from plasticine, any hobby is welcome). And after a busy day, no sad thoughts will have time to settle in your mind, the body will urgently require rest and no love dramas at this moment he will not be interested.

Step 5

Often parting with our beloved, we cannot understand for a long time that there is still a place for joy in life. To cope with discouragement, learn to notice the little things every day that made you smile. It doesn't matter what it will be, aromatic coffee and cake tasted in a cozy cafe, a kitten with surprised eyes looking at a butterfly or a successfully submitted report. There is happiness, and it is in these little things. Every evening, remember what good happened that day. So you will again get used to smiling at the world, and he will definitely smile back at you.

Parting with a loved one is always a difficult period. Everything around becomes gray and boring, nothing makes me happy, dreams and desires disappear, I don't want to see anyone, the state of depression is getting deeper every day. Intellectually, a person understands that life does not end there and one must continue to live on, but you cannot order your heart, it is drawn to it. It's not so easy to get out of the habit. Depression is harmful not only to the person experiencing it, but also to those around you.

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Starting life anew after breaking up with a loved one is not easy, but possible. To make this period less painful and faster, you need to follow some advice from psychologists.

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Is it possible to forget a loved one?

Most women experienced parting with a loved one. The reasons for this can be very different: betrayal, betrayal, cooled feelings, hurt, used, etc. Whether a loved one abandoned him or a woman had to leave him and leave, betrayed or the girl's feelings were unrequited, whatever the reasons for breaking up relations, this period always very difficult and painful. Parting with a loved one can lead to a plunge into deep depression, to a deterioration in physical well-being against the background of experiences.

Failures on the love front can give rise to complexes that are deposited deep in the subconscious. All this has a negative effect on later life.

In order for the world to sparkle with bright colors and life to acquire meaning, you need to forget your loved one, throw him out of your head, learn to live without him, as if nothing had happened. Of course, this is not as easy to do as it sounds. Psychologists say that three simple steps will help to transfer this period easier.

Step one

The first thing you need to do is throw out all your emotions and feelings. If you want to cry, then you don't need to hold back, you want to scream, then you need to scream. You should part with feelings such as anger, resentment, disappointment, anger. Without splashing these feelings out, a person risks receiving psychological trauma.

It is recommended to remember the moment of separation and rethink everything. Take everything that happened for granted, look at the situation with real eyes without unnecessary sentimentality. Understand and convince yourself that this is how it should have happened.

On a blank sheet of paper, you can write perspectives associated with a breakup. There should be at least three of them. For instance:

It is worth considering moving to a different area, city, region or region. It is recommended to think about changing jobs (if the girl works with him, this item is mandatory). Perhaps there was a dream of moving to another place, but because of the man who was nearby, she could not be fulfilled. So, you should take the opportunity and fix everything.
Continue to study or enroll in some university or institute again. You can go to some courses. Perhaps the past life did not leave time and energy for this. Studying will not leave you time to think about your ex, it will help you to distract yourself.
You can plan a vacation to places you have always wanted to visit. You should fulfill your desires and dreams. If there is no money for vacation, then you can plan a trip to visit relatives or friends living in another city.

It is worth getting rid of anything that might remind you of a former relationship. These can be gifts, photographs, things, etc. If a hand does not rise to throw it out, then you can simply remove them from your eyes, hiding them deeper. Unnecessary memories should be avoided.

You should not be alone, it is advisable to spend as much time as possible with close friends, acquaintances, relatives. And in no case should you look for casual or deliberate meetings with your ex.

Step two

Some people, falling into depression, stop taking care of themselves. They don’t wear makeup, don’t do their hair, don’t worry about clothes. In no case should this be done.

The second step is to take care of yourself. For instance:

You can go to the salon to change your hairstyle or hair color, get a manicure. A visit to the SPA-salon, massage will not be superfluous.
Sports activities are great for raising your spirits and giving you a sense of confidence.
Watch some comedy at home, or even better go to the cinema. It is advisable to do this not alone, but with someone.
If you wish, you can throw a party with your closest friends.
Take a picnic out of town.
Find a new hobby or hobby for yourself.

And the best way to cheer up is shopping. If there is not much money, then you should please yourself with at least one new thing. When purchasing new things, you should pay attention to bright wardrobe items that have a positive effect on mood. It is recommended that you pay attention to clothing that is the opposite of the usual style.

Helping a loved one helps to forget your problems very well. Perhaps there is someone in the inner circle who is much worse. It is worth giving him a helping hand, supporting him, and the woman will gradually forget about her experiences and mental pain.

Step three

Now you can fully think about your life. Remember the good moments in life that happened before the ex-man appeared, and think about the future. Forcing yourself not to remember, throwing your old love out of your head. If the previous two steps were fully completed, then a rethinking of its importance and significance has occurred. After all, what was done was done only for oneself.

Now it finally follows:

Stop being interested, thinking about him.
Reflect on what it would be like if you did not break up.
Parting is perceived as a new step into a happy future.
Understand that the main thing is not to lose yourself.
To summarize and make an invaluable experience for yourself.

After that, you can let go of your loved one from your thoughts forever. Cool down completely to the person.

Now you can rediscover yourself to new relationships. To do this, you should:

Start noticing the looks of men in your direction.
Pay attention to the stronger sex.
Convincing yourself that you are a woman who is liked by men is worthy of attention and respect.
Flirt with men. But don't have fleeting romances.
Pamper yourself, love and respect. There is no need to put anyone's feelings and desires ahead of yours.

How long it will take until the parting is completely forgotten, no one will answer for sure. It depends on several factors:

the duration of the relationship;
individual character traits.

If you follow the steps carefully, the pain of a breakup will subside quickly.

In modern psychology, much attention is paid to the issues of relations between a man and a woman. Psychologists give advice on how to quickly and less painlessly get rid of feelings for a loved one.

Advice	Performance
After breaking up, you need to completely exclude the former man from life.	This will help you quickly forget it. You shouldn't look for random meetings with him, don't call him, don't write SMS, exclude communication on the Internet. You shouldn't be interested in his life. Complete indifference should be shown. Ignore everything associated with it
You should not look for the culprit in what happened	You shouldn't delve into yourself after breaking up. Convince yourself that no one is to blame for what happened. You need to sincerely and honestly determine for yourself the mistakes that were made in the relationship in order to prevent them in the future.
It should be understood that everything in the world is changing	No relationship can last forever. Everything has its beginning and end. You should convince yourself that you will never be together and this relationship should have ended sometime.
Reconsider the attitude towards yourself	Do not think that if a woman is alone, then she is worse than someone. If there is a break in relations, then something is wrong with her. You need to reconsider all your qualities and characteristics and make sure that you are a self-sufficient person. You need to love yourself and appreciate. You can write out all your positive qualities and features on a sheet of paper and constantly re-read it.
It is worth starting to live anew	You need to treat parting as a chance to start a new life and open up new perspectives for yourself. It should be bright, rich and varied. Perhaps the girl has always dreamed of changing something in her life, so it is worthwhile to start making her dream come true. Make new acquaintances, learn new hobbies and hobbies. Consider this as a chance to change everything for the better.
Convince yourself that you deserve a better man	You shouldn't think about the fact that you were madly in love with your ex-boyfriend and that you don't need anyone but him. You should not allow the thought that the man with whom they broke up was the best in the world and there is no other such thing to be found. If the couple is not together, then he is imperfect. It is worth convincing yourself that you deserve the best.

Many of the women who parted with a loved one forever experienced feelings of bitterness and pain in their lives. If only there was such a pill or mixture, after drinking which you can completely painlessly, quickly and forever forget your beloved man, erase him from your memory and from your heart! But there is no such medicine in the world.

Relatives and friends sympathize with you, advise you to be distracted and unwind: “Well, did the light really fit like a wedge on it? You will find yourself a hundred times better. " Friends are trying to introduce another representative of the stronger sex: “You can take revenge on your ex. If you fall in love with another, the first will suffer and suffer. " You, of course, understand that they wish you well, but this does not make it easier. After all, you cannot order your heart.

But you need to find strength in yourself, accumulate your will and energy, clenching your teeth and clenching your fists, say to yourself: “Stop! Enough! Life is not over ... I deserve love and happiness, and I can and will definitely be happy! "

How to Forget a Loved One: Three Easy Steps

If, in fact, it was so easy to take and forget your loved one at once. It is quite difficult and painful to take and erase from memory all those wonderful moments spent together, the beautiful words spoken in private in moments of revelation and the highest bliss, and the beautiful deeds performed by the beloved in a fit of inspiration. You can ask for help from professional psychologist... He will help and advise how to let go of the person you love, and how to quickly forget your loved one forever.

If this is not possible, apply the tips below. The following program of actions, consisting of only three steps, will help you cope with a difficult task.

First step

You need to accept the breakup situation as it is. That is, one should once again rationally comprehend what happened, remember the moment of parting and admit what happened... You need to try to comprehend everything from a real, practical point of view, without unnecessary sentimentality, oohs and oohs. This is the most difficult, but also the most necessary step.

Let your feelings out. If you want to cry, cry. If you feel anger, resentment, anger, then urgently get rid of them. If you want - beat the dishes, swear, shout. The main thing is that feelings for your former beloved, whom you need to let go and forget forever, can leave you.

On a piece of paper, write at least three perspectives that may open up in connection with these circumstances, n. P.:

To fully understand the gap, clear the space around you, let not a single little thing remind you of your former lover. No regret throw away all things and gifts, forgotten by him at parting and reminding of him. This will make it easier to avoid unnecessary memories.

Try to change the setting at least for a while:

give yourself a vacation at the sea, in the mountains, in unusual places or conditions for you;
enjoy unity with nature, which will help heal mental wounds;
go to a party, visit a club with friends, just walk around the city, make new acquaintances.

Remember that it is better to communicate with your girlfriends and friends, and not in common with your ex-boyfriend.

Second step

It's time to take care of yourself. There are many possibilities for this:

A separate event that, like no other, is able to cheer up a woman and restore harmony in her soul, is, of course, shopping. There is, perhaps, no such woman whose mood will not improve when buying new things. The number of purchases depends on the amount available, but it is recommended to buy at least one bright and attractive piece of women's wardrobe. In addition, you can purchase a lot positive emotions already at fitting, and not just at the purchase itself. A woman should turn her attention not only to things from her usual wardrobe, she needs to try on things that are opposite to your style.

Third step

Now is the time to think again about the place that the former beau occupies in your new life. Emphasize that both before him and now you have many happy moments and joyful experiences, you are excellent you can enjoy life and without his presence. Proof of this will be the last days and weeks that you have spent using our advice, and the positive changes that have occurred to you as a result of taking just two simple steps.

It is important to fully comprehend your new position, your uniqueness and significance. After all, everything that you have done lately, you have done only for yourself and for your own sake.

Eliminate the past from your thoughts completely.
Perceive parting as a new round that will take you to a new level in self-improvement and achieving harmony and happiness.
Understand that failure on the love front is far from the worst loss in life, the main thing is not to lose yourself.
Summarize and conclude about the lesson you learned from your former relationship. When you did the right thing, and where, perhaps, not quite. This will help to avoid such mistakes in the future, because experience is an invaluable assistant and advisor that will help maintain new feelings and new love.

And now you can finally answer the question of how to forget your loved one forever.

And the final stage of our program "How to forget a loved one after parting" is anew open yourself to the world and discover the world for yourself:

It is impossible to determine exactly how long it will take to completely forget a former loved one. It depends on many circumstances:

from the individual characteristics of your character;
the duration of the relationship;
from a number of external factors.

In modern psychology, much attention is paid to the issues of interpersonal relations. But it is not at all necessary to re-read entire volumes or scientific treatises in order to find the strength and courage to painlessly let go of a loved one. Professional psychologists have a number of practical tips to help you with this.

Cross the ex-loved one out of your life, as if he was not and is not. This is the first and most important advice from psychologists on how to forget your loved one forever.

Immediately after parting, you must completely and unconditionally let go of the past. Avoid any contact with your ex: in life, on the phone, on the Internet, etc. Avoid places you visit together. Do not show any interest in his life: where and with whom he is now. The main thing is complete indifference.

You cannot blame yourself or your partner for parting with your loved one.

What happened happened. Don't berate yourself or him. Just identify the mistakes that you made so as not to repeat them again with another person. You can write error analysis on the paper. The main thing is to be sincere in front of yourself.

Realize that everything in the world is transitory, nothing lasts forever. Everyone and everything is subject to change and you are no exception.

In psychology, there is such a thing as a "mind trap." In our case, the trap is the idea that your relationship should last forever. This does not happen: everything has its beginning and its end.

Review your assessment of your personality and personality.

Often, after parting with a loved one, you feel your “inferiority”: everyone around is happy, and I am alone, I have no other half, I’m probably worse than them in some way. Throw such thoughts away. Reconsider your personal qualities and make sure once again how self-sufficient and self-confident person whether you have a soul mate or not. Love yourself and build your self-esteem. Enjoy life by discovering yourself new.

Start life from a new leaf - only a new world and new people in it.

Lead an active lifestyle, visit public places more often, travel, play sports. Implement what you have dreamed of for a long time, but did not have enough time to accomplish what you wanted. Make new acquaintances. Live a full, vibrant life. Remember that any break is a push to a new level, it is new perspectives and chances... You should not be isolated in yourself, discover the wonderful world in all its diversity.

Give yourself permission to be with your best partner.

Paradoxical as it may sound, often people willingly do not want to be with a better partner. You are accustomed to a long-term relationship with a certain person and cannot imagine another life: "I love him, I do not want it to be better for me alone, let it be better for the two of us together." In psychology, this phenomenon is considered as a habit to get rid of... Know that you can be with a better person and you deserve it. Letting go of your beloved, forgetting your unrequited and blind love is not only possible, but also necessary.

What not to do after breaking up with a loved one

So we figured out the question of how to let go of a loved one, what is recommended to do for this. Now it is worth paying attention to those things that cannot be done:

We sincerely hope that the above tips will help you to more easily endure the pain of parting with your loved one and heal mental wounds. If you follow them, you can quickly restore your vitality, start new relationships and a new life from scratch.

All people are going through a breakup very hard. It is generally accepted that women suffer much more than men. This is not true. It's just that the beautiful half of humanity reacts more emotionally to the very fact of the breakup, experiences feelings more deeply, while men usually go headlong into work. How to quickly forget a loved one, get rid of mental pain and continue living further, we will consider below.

Why do we suffer when relationships end?

Do not assume that only those who have been abandoned or cheated on are experiencing a breakup. If the relationship was long, then both parties are worried, and the question of how to forget a loved one forever is often asked by both former partners.

Many psychologists view a couple as a dynamic balance of two personalities, one of which, over time, needs a partner more than a partner needs him. The people say about such a phenomenon "allows himself to be loved." When the balance becomes imbalanced, i.e. one of the couple begins to literally fall into dependence on the partner, his opinion, assessment, mood, then a state of severe imbalance arises and the relationship begins to move towards a break.

Why do both suffer when parting: both the beloved and the loving? If everything is clear with the lover, then it is more difficult with the object of love - there is an opinion in society that the one who quit is cold and heartless, who acted disgustingly with the person who loves him. Of course, this also happens, but most of those who quit feel guilty, depressed and responsible for the feelings and even the life of the one they left. And if the emotions of the abandoned are completely directed to suffering and tears for "lost happiness", then the abandoned one experiences a deep sense of guilt and disappointment.

Three important stages

Psychology considers the question of how to forget a loved one as a process that requires certain efforts and time. First of all, psychologists advise to realize that the relationship is over. The ending of your love story can be beautiful and sad, or ugly, with betrayal and scandal. It is not worth digging up and mentally going over all possible variations in the development of events on the topic "but if I said, did, called, kept silent, etc." Understand that there are two involved in a relationship, you cannot change anything alone.

After a short stage of awareness, which has the right to be accompanied by aggression, screams (better on the phone to a friend than to a hated ex), tears, tantrums and other vivid emotional reactions, the second stage begins - raising self-esteem. Usually, in connection with a breakdown in a relationship, a woman's self-esteem rapidly rolls down. Some psychologists consider this phenomenon as a defensive reaction of the psyche - it is easier to accept that you left an "ugly", "stupid", "hysterical" than to understand that you were abandoned due to the loss of absolutely all romantic feelings for your person. % how to make yourself forget your loved one% and raise your self-esteem? The advice is banal, but effective: take care of yourself! Sign up for a gym, dance, language courses, trainings - you have a lot of free time that you need to devote to yourself and the development of your personality.

The third and most important stage in experiencing a breakup is called "maximum distance." You should be as distant as possible from your ex. There is no need to go to his page on social networks, call to congratulate him on the holiday (understand, this does not look polite at all, but stupid!). Of course, it is very difficult to keep your distance if you live in the same house or work in the same place. In this case, you should not sigh languidly or try to "accidentally" get into the eyes of your ex. Remember, the further you are from the object of your love, the faster and more painlessly the process of getting out of a failed relationship will go.

Interesting!

If you suddenly really want to call or write a message to your ex, then you should not despair. Instead, allow yourself this prank, but ... only after 30 minutes! Yes, yes, after 30 minutes, you can call or write. In 99% of cases, in half an hour, the mind manages to get the best of emotions, and you will understand that this should not be done. The remaining 1% - you at least think about what to write, so as not to lose the remnants of pride.

So, here's a simple answer to the question of how to forget your loved one and three simple steps to take:

awareness
raising self-esteem
distance

The good thing about these steps is that it's entirely up to you to implement them. It would be nice to keep something like a diary, in which you will mark the "milestones" of your independent life: where you were, whom you met, what new things you learned. You will be surprised to see how rewarding your life can become after a breakup. You can give yourself small gifts on "memorable" dates, for example, 5 days without X. Soon you will not need such gifts, you will stop counting the days spent without the former, but at the initial stage, such measures help.

Will a new relationship help?

Asking the question of how to quickly forget a man, many women do not find a better answer than to replace the collapsed relationship with the construction of new ones. Of course, there is nothing reprehensible in this, but still it is much more correct when a new relationship arises from mutual sympathy, and not from your fear of being left alone. Everything here is individual: if you easily make acquaintances, quickly get close to people and turn the head of men, then flirting, easy communication will do you good. If by nature you are an introvert, then you should not pretend to be a cheerful laugh, this will take away your mental strength, which you now need to collect and strengthen as much as possible.

However, one should not go to the other extreme - to withdraw into oneself. Chat with people, meet men, but at the same time keep a comfortable distance for you.

Love suffering: when will it end?

Constantly thinking about how to forget and let go of a loved one, it often seems to us that suffering will be eternal, and we will never be the same, and even thinking about a new love is unpleasant. Everyone who suffers from unhappy love wants to know: when will this end? When will life sparkle with colors again, and the storm of emotions will subside?

Asking how to forget a beloved man, the advice of a psychologist gives an almost exact answer: each year of a relationship corresponds to one month of suffering at a breakup, i.e. if your love lasted 2 years, then the period of acute longing for your ex-lover will be 2 months. Of course, this formula is not a rule, it rather reflects the degree of emotional attachment (painful dependence) to a partner.

Consider, however, that most people experience the loss of a loved one and start new relationships. This does not mean that you need to try on the stories of friends, colleagues and acquaintances, but you can take this moment into account.

Here are some general tips to help you survive a breakup with minimal loss to your personality:

As much as you would like, do not talk to mutual acquaintances about your ex. Do not ask how he is doing, how he treats you, what he says and does. You broke up and nothing else binds you. Such inquiries will bring relief for a short time - you will feel involved in the life of your loved one, but this is only an illusion that leads to a decrease in your self-esteem.
Do not feel sorry for yourself, on the contrary, rejoice! You got rid of a relationship in which you are no longer held dear or loved. They did not torture you, hold you down, humiliate you, they treated you honestly, giving you the opportunity to meet someone who will appreciate you and will experience a deep feeling.
Don't have mental dialogues with your ex. Remember, his phrases and answers exist only in your thoughts - these are only your conjectures, which have nothing to do with reality. The person not only expressed his attitude to you, but also demonstrated it, preferring to break off relations with you.
Do not try to "switch" feelings from love to hate. Hatred will take a lot of energy from you, your thoughts will still be occupied by the object of love, albeit in negative colors, and your task is to distance yourself from this person as much as possible.
Do not entertain yourself with the illusion that your beloved will understand what treasure he has lost and will return back. Even if this happens, it will be a new love story, and the old one must be forgotten.
How to forget the betrayal of a loved one? If you have been betrayed (changed, used your trust, etc.), then you should not delve into yourself and your partner in an attempt to find out the reason for his actions. You will not be able to read his thoughts and understand the logic of his actions. In fact, you will simply conduct a dialogue with yourself, and this cannot be allowed.
If the betrayal concerns the material side (the former took away your property, or the amount of money), then you should seek the advice of a lawyer who will help to consider what happened in terms of legislation.

If all of the above tips do not help you, your condition worsens, suicidal thoughts appear, then you are deeply depressed and you urgently need professional help.

Do I need to use magic?

Women in matters of love and relationships often resort to various elements of magic. They believe that the problem of how to forget a loved one, the conspiracy can be solved quickly and efficiently. If you really believe in magical actions, then you can resort to such help, but do not forget a few rules:

magic and rituals should be directed specifically at you, and not at the former lover, i.e. in no case should the concept of "how to forget" be replaced by "how to return"
do not expect an instant result, do not look for meetings with an ex to make sure of the effectiveness of the conspiracy
do not go to a psychic or a sorcerer alone, it is better to take a skeptical girlfriend with you

Remember, when your heart is broken, you are especially vulnerable, which means that you can become an easy prey for scammers and charlatans.

How to forget a loved one? Psychology provides many valuable tips and advice, but simply reading them will not be beneficial if you do not work on your inner world. Life does not end with a breakup, you will surely meet a new love, and your current experiences will surely seem meaningless and immature to you.

Most often, when one has already made plans for his own separate life, and for the second, a break in relations becomes an unexpected blow. The so-called "grief syndrome" can occur, which dulls the senses and protects from the colors of life for a long time. Is there an answer to the question: how to forget a person with whom we will never be together, whether to listen to the advice of a psychologist?

How to survive a breakup and at the same time not cross out everything that was beautiful and light that was in your past relationship, make your personal experience your wealth, and not a heavy burden? Can the pain of parting help you open up your strength and experience the joy of meeting a new person?

What happened yesterday? How to remember? How to remember ?! Ahh, I remembered! Bliiin! How can I forget? How can I forget ?!
author unknown

Research by psychologists

According to research, the process of experiencing separation can last from 3 months to 3 years, it all depends on the individual.

The inability to cope with psychological trauma can lead to nervous breakdowns, and in the future - to the emergence of psychosomatic diseases.

In order to cope with how to forget a person with whom you will never be together, there are tips from psychologists that offer a universal and rather effective scheme for overcoming the consequences of separation.

Psychologists distinguish three phases, which in turn are subdivided into 6 stages, which any person going through a breakup goes through, regardless of its reasons.

1.Phase of revision

The initial phase is divided into 3-4 stages:

denial;
expressions of feelings;
after parting;
the stage of dialogue and bargaining.

The revision phase is the most difficult emotionally. Realizing the need to establish relationships with oneself, eliminate internal contradictions, build an internal core that will allow you to stay in balance, not focusing on someone from the outside, often a person feels severe mental pain, which literally does not allow distraction.

Denial of the reality of a breakup is associated with such emotional manifestations as avoidance, misunderstanding, self-pity. Denial has several options. You can deny the end of the relationship in whole or in part, or you can devalue them, comforting yourself that nothing terrible has happened. There is a feeling of understatement, I want to write and continue some unfinished conversation. The person continues to waste energy on false hopes and maintaining non-existent relationships.

For a successful transition to the next level, you need to stop all attempts to return a person and leave hopes for his return. Otherwise, you can get stuck in a state of denial for many months and years. Psychologists consider it normal if the stage of denial passes in 3-5 weeks, but it can take up to one and a half years, depending on the mentality and character.

If there is no one to tell:
"- Do you remember?"
There is nothing else to do but to forget.
Valentin Domil

Recognize the right of a loved one to be free

Do not search social networks for information about your ex, do not find out through friends how he is doing. Talk about him and your relationship as little as possible, and in general, try to think as little as possible about anything that might upset you.

No matter how the period of denial proceeds, sooner or later it will pass into the stage of expressing feelings, in which irritation, anger, anxiety and shame come to the fore. At this point, people usually begin to feel the reality of what is happening. They wonder how to forget a person with whom they will never be together, seek advice from a psychologist and very vividly experience all the negative emotions associated with this.

Resentment and guilt, directed both at the culprit of the breakup and at oneself, self-pity, blaming the person who left, searching for the reasons that led to the breakup, and, as a result, senseless self-examination are also manifestations of the stage of expression of feelings.

At this moment, there is no point in restraining yourself. If the inner prohibition on aggression is turned on, and the loss is not mourned, then a person can live his whole life at this stage. This stage is very important in order to subsequently be able to understand yourself and the situation.

In order not to get completely entangled in the storm of what will be happening in the soul, you can try to write him a "letter" listing all the claims and unspoken grievances. This well-known psychology technique, which allows you to let go of the past and start living in the present, helps you to objectively look at the situation, not to interpret what is happening and not to paint the situation. When writing a letter, it is important to note the feelings that a particular memory evokes.

Moreover, it does not have to be sent, but can be destroyed immediately after writing. Breathing practices such as grounding and centering can also help you focus and achieve tranquility.

After this comes the stage of dialogue and bargaining, when you can establish a time interval and conditions for yourself when the renewal of relations is still possible.

The most important thing here is not to relax and let the process of healing from a painful breakup take its course. Because the next inevitable stage is the stage of depression. Its main features are tension, apathy, and a sense of helplessness. The repression of one's own feelings and the removal of one's own pain leads to inner emptiness. At this stage, people often commit rash, stupid and often irreparable actions.

A characteristic feature of the step is the presence of obsessive thoughts. According to statistics, only a tenth of the mental suffering from a breakup is directly related to the impossibility of further close relationships. The remaining 90% are speculations and fantasies that bring painful devastation.

And in order to cope with these symptoms, you must first understand that these thoughts represent an external, hostile force that is trying to plunge into despair. The thought that we accept and begin to ponder becomes ours, and we ourselves hurt ourselves. If you try to understand these thoughts, it turns out that the ideas from which they are "collected" contradict each other. For example, many girls think that somewhere there are women who are absolutely and completely happy, do not need anything, they love them. But this state of happiness and complete satisfaction cannot last forever.

Another example of such ideas: an abstract, somewhere existing ideal guy with whom you can be happy forever. This is a big misconception. Everyone has problems. The main thing is not to carry over your past mistakes into a new relationship.

Human memory is a strange thing. She stubbornly keeps what she wants to forget as soon as possible.
Janusz Leon Vishnevsky. An irresistible desire for intimacy

2. Disposal phase

This phase is directly related to the admission of defeat, but entails the search for new ideas and the creation of a new concept of life.

As a rule, the acute pain has already subsided, the person fully accepts what happened, adapts to the new realities.

The conducted internal analysis helps to see the situation as it is, to assess your real and imagined feelings and needs.

Ruthlessly remove from your life everything that in any way reminds of your former romance: delete all contacts from your phone, SMS messages and shared photos. Throw away all memorable gifts and souvenirs, or put them in a separate box and put them away.

3. Separation phase

The final phase of the complex process of breaking up relationships psychologists call the phase of separation. One day there comes a moment when you realize that you can look into the past and no longer feel such strong emotions as resentment and anger.

You feel ready to meet new people, you feel the strength to implement new cheerful plans, hope for a near joyful future. Your self-esteem and self-worth increases. Gradually, new impressions fill life, paint it in new colors. The mention of a former lover and everything connected with him no longer brings mental suffering.

The easiest way to relive a breakup is in great shape - change your image, arm yourself with impeccable styling, perfect manicure and makeup. Buy new perfume, trendy clothes, stylish shoes. Try to visit interesting places, master classes, exhibitions as much as possible. Learn something new. If you have long wanted to visit a new place, make an exciting journey - the time has come.

Conclusion

Although the path of liberation from the past often becomes difficult and painful and takes a long time, this malaise is treatable. Almost always, people who are faced with the question of how to forget a person with whom they will never be together, following the advice of a psychologist, are so completely liberated that they can hardly imagine that a breakup could hurt so deeply.

Even when we feel pain, we must understand that by making efforts to restore inner balance, it is possible to gain a feeling of relief, discover new potential in ourselves and feel the joy and harmony of life. When your heart becomes truly free and open, then you are ready to meet your soul mate.

We hope these tips are helpful for those trying to cope with an abrupt end to a relationship. And we will be glad to know, but how did you cope with this?