The role of sex education in adolescence. Conversation for parents "problems of sexual education of teenagers". The main tasks that are the same for the family and the school

05.04.2019

For so long your child has remained for you the smallest and most tender creature on earth. But time goes inexorably, and now you have a teenager who declares his rights and desires, and besides, he has a lot of uncomfortable questions. The menstrual cycle, first and sexual fantasies, body changes and relationships with the opposite body. The topics are very sensitive and most parents prefer to avoid them. However, the sexual education of adolescents is an extremely important issue, and ignoring it often leads to disastrous consequences.

First changes

The age at which they become especially noticeable may vary. For some, this is 11 years, for others - 14. At this time, the body as a whole is actively developing. Body weight and height increase significantly, working capacity increases, all physiological systems actively develop. But the endocrine glands work most actively at this time. Under their influence, even behavior changes. Sexual education of adolescents should be started as early as possible, competently answering all questions and not hushing up topics of interest to him, so as not to create an information vacuum.

School or parents

This is another important question. Relatively recently, sexual education of adolescents did not take place at all. Information had to be collected by the children themselves bit by bit, learning it from older comrades. As a result, it came in a distorted and not always complete form. Today, society has finally reached the point where it is extremely important to educate a teenager not only in the bosom of the family, but also to conduct special training within the framework of school education.

The introduction of special items allows you to increase the level of information awareness and gives each teenager the opportunity to ask questions of interest to him. Thus, we can say that the sexual education of adolescents is the task of the whole society as a whole. That is why today there are so many informational videos that are broadcast on television. They are designed in an accessible and simple form to convey to yesterday's child the most important information that he needs so much.

At the intersection of physiology and psychology

Both the boy and the girl in their incomplete 14 years become completely different, which is often a cause of concern for a caring parent. And how not to worry if an affectionate and contact child suddenly begins to withdraw into himself, to fence himself off, he has his own life, about which he does not want to talk. In fact, he himself does not fully understand what is happening to him. The fact is that the pubertal period is characterized by a sharp one. It is thanks to this that the active appearance of secondary sexual characteristics, the formation of constitutional features of the body, the breaking of the voice and all the accompanying changes with the external and internal genital organs occur.

But that is not all. A boy and a girl do not yet know what exactly is happening in their bodies, so all the changes can be scary. The activity of the gonads easily explains the instability of autonomic functions and frequent mood swings. As you can see, the change in behavior is well justified. The increased activity of the gonads at this moment also plays a role. Hormones are released as much as there is not even in an adult. At the same time, a teenager does not have the opportunity to fully realize this energy. This results in rudeness and stubbornness. Do not be offended, it is best to teach the child to adequately implement everything in the right direction. Interesting activities, sports, outdoor activities will help.

School objectives

Sex education in our schools is in its infancy. This is facilitated by the fact that most of the information that is related to sex in our society is taboo. This is a relic of the Soviet past, when sex education at school was reduced to a page in an anatomy textbook, where the genitals of a man and a woman were drawn. But even this information did not receive any comments from the teacher.

Why is it recommended to work in a team? Because there is an opportunity to invite qualified specialists and experts who will give information that each parent individually does not have in full. Or if he owns, he does not know how to convey to the younger child. The second point: this information immediately spreads to the whole class, that is, each of the students forms the correct idea about the nature of sexuality. As a result, it will be easier for them to have discussions outside the classroom.

The main problems that sex education solves in school

First of all, it is necessary to name the filling of the information vacuum. Teenagers have always been interested in taboo topics. However, distorted or inaccurate information often does more harm than good.
Prevention of problems that carries with it the early onset of sexual activity. Today this issue is becoming more and more relevant. Even if the very fact of early entry into adulthood persists, it is imperative that safety is maintained for both partners.
Prevention of sexual violence. Sex education for girls should necessarily include educating adolescents about the problem of pedophilia in order to reduce the number of abuses against them by adult men.

Information block

Do not forget that information must be received in a timely manner and strictly in the required amount. At the age of three, to the question "how did I appear?" you can tell a fairy tale about a king and queen who loved each other very much and slept tightly hugging each other in the same bed. And one day they realized that someone appeared in the queen's stomach. He grew rapidly, and soon the court physician said that it was a girl. Everyone was very happy. And when she grew up, she came out into the world.

Usually, with admission to the kindergarten, the child begins to understand the difference between the sexes. And again, do not dismiss such questions. Confirm that the genitals are arranged differently, in boys they look like a faucet, and in girls they look like a slit. For now, this will be enough.

When the child reaches the age of five, you can add a little information about how he got into his mother's tummy. Here it is appropriate to tell that dad gave mom a cell of himself. She united with the mother's cell, and a child developed from it. If the baby saw dogs or cats on the street at an intimate moment, and he again had questions, then you can stick to the same version. So animals pass their cells to each other, and soon babies will appear in the tummy of the female.

The age of 8-9 years is considered optimal for the first talk about sex. This does not mean that the child needs to be planted and laid out to him everything that you know. But, having seen an advertisement for pads, you can start a conversation with a girl that she will soon begin menstruation and her breasts will begin to grow. Now she will become even more beautiful and turn into a young girl. The husband can tactfully tell the boy about the approaching wet dreams and the breaking of the voice. And again, it must be emphasized that this is a normal phenomenon, and it indicates that everything is in order with his body.

At about 8-9 years old, you can already talk about sex. Explain that the sexual organs have serious names - the penis and the vagina. Hugs and kisses are very pleasant for both men and women. From this, the penis increases and it can be inserted into the vagina, like a key. Spermatozoa come out of it, which combine with the female egg and form a new life. At the age of 13-14, it will be possible to impose a conversation on contraception and protection against sexually transmitted diseases on this basis. The main thing is not to compose fairy tales and fables, but to talk seriously and frankly with the child.

What parents need to learn

Questions of sexual education of teenagers seem so sensitive to us, first of all, because our parents did not have such conversations with us. And so far, although we ourselves have adult children, talking about “this” seems too unethical. However, you should be well aware of the following points:

Personality and sexuality are indivisible. This rule also applies to sex education, which cannot be considered in isolation. You just need to properly educate the child, communicate with him and answer his questions.
Work on sex education with adolescents should be carried out long before they have reached this very age. All questions asked by the child should be taken seriously, and the answer to them should be built as competently as possible. No need to tell a three-year-old kid fairy tales about a stork. Suffice it to say now that the parents love each other and therefore a baby appeared in the mother's tummy. As it grows, it will be possible to increase the amount of information.
In fact, giving a child a competent idea about intimate life is no more difficult than teaching any other things.

Basic rules for parents

We all come from Soviet childhood, which leaves its mark. But in fact, the sexual education of adolescents by parents is a consequence of properly developed houses; they will always listen to him, believe him and protect him. If the parents managed to prove in practice that they are worthy of this trust, then no problems will arise in the future.

The second point is the personality of the parent himself. The problems of sex education are often associated with the fact that an adult has to deal with his complexes and problems, to carry out internal work on them. And the most important thing is not to pass them on to your child. It is only about the attitude towards your body and the process of conception as such. It must be unambiguously positive. There is nothing wrong with the body.

Well, one more thing: in the process of sex education, the situation in the family plays a very important role. Normal, trusting and warm relationships between mom and dad contribute to the child's natural perception of sex-role differences between men and women.

Pedagogy of sex education

Of course, not all parents are teachers and psychologists, so this aspect of education is perceived with certain difficulties. Moreover, sexual education of the younger generation is one of the weakest areas of modern and, in particular, family pedagogy. Not all parents, like teachers, fully understand what it includes.

Gender problems of sexual education of adolescents are acute in single-parent families, where a parent brings up children of the opposite sex. However, even a married couple sometimes cannot decide who will talk with their daughter or son on a particular topic. However, the main thing here is to understand that sexual education is a complex of pedagogical influences on the educated person. This question is considered from two sides:

It is an integral part of moral education. If a child has clearly formed such concepts as girlish honor, moral purity, manhood, respect for a woman, friendship and love, then consider that you have completed your mission.
The second aspect is a social and hygienic problem, which is associated with health and well-being. That is, a certain minimum of knowledge is simply necessary.

It is the full disclosure of these two aspects that implies sex education. Topics should be raised as the child's interest develops. It is impossible to separate sexual education from the development of moral qualities.

The main tasks that are the same for the family and the school

The program of sex education for adolescents should be unified, since it serves the same goals. Today in our society there is a tendency to conduct a promiscuous sexual life, the number of divorces is growing. Moreover, this affects the demographic situation in a far from good way. The concepts of civil and guest marriage that have emerged and become stronger bring their confusion into the overall picture of the world, which children absorb. There is nothing better for the formation of the correct model of the world and gender relations than the model of a strong and friendly family.

Based on this, let's formulate the main tasks pursued by the sexual education of adolescents, and the role of the school in this matter:

Formation of a positive attitude towards a healthy lifestyle and the desire to have a real, friendly family.
Help in understanding your needs and adequate ways to meet them.
Providing children with competent information that will enable them to understand what is happening to them and adapt to changes.
respect for other people, male and female.

School is a social institution where boys and girls learn not only to read and write, but also to build their first relationships with members of the opposite sex. Therefore, teachers, no less than parents, should be involved in the process. Their tasks are even more global, since the correction of sexual education of adolescents, neglected in the family, falls on the shoulders of a school teacher or a social worker.

The main directions of sex education

We have already considered the main tasks in accordance with which it is necessary to build the work of both teachers and parents. The sexual education of girls in the classical sense will be aimed at developing an understanding of oneself as the guardian of the family hearth, traditions, and the successor of the clan. Boys learn respect for a woman, a gentle and careful attitude towards her, protection. Thus, it is possible to formulate several directions of sexual education:

Sexual education. It helps to form psychological masculinity and femininity. In addition, it is at school that children learn to establish effective communications between themselves, as representatives of the male and female gender.
Sex education. It is aimed primarily at the optimal formation of sexual and erotic orientations.
Preparation for responsible marriage. First of all, guidelines for mutually responsible partnership should be worked out here.
Preparing for responsible parenting.
The red thread here should be the idea of a healthy lifestyle. It is assimilated through the clarification of the dependence of sexuality, marriage and parenthood on such bad habits as alcoholism and drug addiction, on infidelity and related venereal diseases.

Sex Education Methods for Adolescents

We have already well understood what tasks we are facing so that the future generation will normally enter adulthood. At the same time, I would like to note that not much is required from parents and teachers in order to accomplish these tasks. Communication is the main tool. First of all, you need to establish contact with the child and enlist his trust, and then carry out the process of education. However, communication is different. Today we will highlight two main ones that can be used:

Orienting communication methods are unhurried conversations and explanations in the process of communication. The most effective way of such communication is the question-answer option. Discussion of various situations and lectures is another form of educational activities.
Methods of educative communication is another large section that suggests that a person in the process of education not only learns some norms and rules, but also experiences some feelings that form mental neoplasms. Sexual education cannot be reduced only to the assimilation of certain norms. Among the methods of education, one can single out the reception of positive samples of gender-role behavior, as well as methods of approval and disapproval. However, they act only because they cause certain emotions. Therefore, the right choice of means of influence and an individual approach are so important.

Best helpers

Most parents find themselves lacking the right words and explanations, especially when it comes to sex education. The book is the best help. Choose a good encyclopedia and present it to a teenager when he is 10-12 years old. His interest in taboo topics will only grow, and when he comes up with the question of who a gay or transvestite is, you can always refer to a book. For example: "In the encyclopedia, this issue is covered better, let's look together."

Sexual education of a child is a joint journey into the world of adults. From the very first days of his life, you teach the baby so many things that it is a matter of habit for you. All the difficulties that arise with sex education are connected only with our own fears and complexes and shame. Do not focus on this so as not to pass them on to the child. Answer calmly and accurately. And so that the child does not take you by surprise, think over possible answers to the question in advance.

Don't wait for your child to start asking questions. In accordance with age, you can start complex conversations yourself in the form of informational tales or unhurried conversations at the most suitable moment for this. And the most important thing is the formed trust between you and the child.

There is a lot of literature on the shelves of stores, but not all of it is suitable for competent education of a teenager. Moreover, there are books that are best read to parents in order to be able to competently tell the child about everything that interests him. Among them are:

"From diapers to first dates" D. Haffner.
“Where did I come from. Sexual encyclopedia for children 5-8 years old ”V. Dumont.
“Encyclopedia of sexual life for children 7-9 years old. Physiology and Psychology". C. Verdu.

If you want to additionally give a teenager the opportunity to read on their own and find answers to questions, then it is recommended to buy him the book “My body is changing. Everything that teenagers want to know and what parents are embarrassed to talk about, published by Clever. Having presented this book, do not forget to tell your child that you are open to dialogue, and you can discuss everything that he reads here.

In adolescence, the whole organism develops rapidly: height, weight increase, efficiency increases, all physiological systems develop intensively - the respiratory, nervous, and especially the endocrine glands. A characteristic feature is the uneven development of individual organs and systems. Along with functional completion or approaching some of them, others continue to improve. At this age, the most protracted and most pronounced third physiological crisis, called the puberty, proceeds; there is rapid growth and a radical restructuring of the body, leading to significant changes in physical, mental and spiritual development. And this determines the formation of the personality of a teenager. His appearance also changes: the teenager becomes lanky, awkward. He has such uneven growth of various parts of the body that one arm can be longer than the other.

The pubertal period is characterized by a sharp endocrine shift, violent activity of the adrenal cortex and gonads. The activity of the endocrine glands contributes to the development of secondary sexual characteristics: the formation of the body according to sex, breaking of the voice, involuntary secretions of seminal fluid at night in boys, the development of mammary glands and the appearance of menstruation in girls.

The enhanced function of the gonads affects the activity of a number of body systems. This explains the instability of vegetative functions in adolescents: sharp fluctuations in blood pressure, discomfort in various parts of the body, decreased appetite, sweating, lethargy, intolerance to stuffiness, frequent mood swings, etc. All this requires exceptional care and sensitive attention to children with side of the parents.

Increased activity of the gonads causes disharmony in the development of a teenager. More sex hormones are produced in the body than in adult men and women; there are no opportunities for realizing this stormy energy. And it results in stubbornness, rudeness, irritation, etc.

Due to the vigorous development of the sexual apparatus, increased secretion of sex hormones that excite and tone the body, interest in the opposite sex is awakened, and a need for love arises. Without knowledge, life experience, a teenager cannot always understand and cope with all the changes that happen to him.

It is necessary to inform adolescents in a timely manner about the appearance of signs of puberty in boys (emissions) by the age of 13-15 and in girls (menstruation) by 12-13 years. Parents should take on this responsibility and tell their children in an accessible form about the changes that are taking place in their bodies.

Girls during this period grow rapidly, sometimes up to 5-10 si per year. They closely monitor the development of their body. Some look forward to these changes and do their best to emphasize their physical development with the help of clothing that highlights the contours of the developing female body. Others, on the contrary, seem to be ashamed of their development and begin to stoop when walking.

Teenage girls can be clumsy, awkward, angular, which is why they often suffer. Therefore, it is very important that the mother explains to her daughter in time that the beauty of a person lies not only in his appearance, but also in kindness, cordiality, and the ability to do good to people. And clumsiness, awkwardness will pass with age.

In girls, puberty begins with the rapid development of the mammary glands, external genitalia, etc. The shape of the body becomes more rounded, the subcutaneous fat layer is deposited on the thighs and buttocks, hair appears in the pubic area and under the arms. All this creates new sensations. At the same time, the character also changes, shyness, coquetry, amorousness appear.

An important sign of puberty in girls is the appearance of the first menstruation. During menstruation, the body undergoes a number of changes in the cardiovascular, respiratory and other systems. Mood changes, fatigue is observed, sometimes a headache. Therefore, during the period of menstruation, it is recommended to be more in the fresh air, relax, and not overwork. If the girl is healthy, then sports activities or light physical labor should not be completely excluded, but hard physical work is contraindicated for her.

With the advent of menstruation, the girl's body has already begun to prepare for the important and noble function of motherhood. The girl turns into a girl, but puberty has not yet come. It will come later: at 17-19 years old.

The transitional period in a girl's life is very responsible, so the mother must explain to her daughter that every year she grows up, that at the age of 10-13 years or later, menstruation appears, which happens monthly. When girls do not know the purpose of menstruation, fear and shame may appear. Some girls even believe that they have some kind of terrible disease, avoid people, become withdrawn.

Often parents find themselves in a difficult position, do not find the right words when explaining to their children many intimate issues, including those related to the appearance of the first menstruation. Thus, the mother of ten-year-old Tanya confessed to us that she did not know how to tell her daughter about menstruation, which the girl had heard about on the street. At the same time, the woman stated that no one had told her about the menstrual cycle at one time either. When asked how she found out about all the changes taking place in the body, the answer was: “There were older sisters in the family, and I was peeping.”

A conversation with a teenage girl should be conducted by a mother or teacher.

The room is dark. Only mother and daughter are at home.

Let's sit down, Natasha, let's talk. Want? asks the mother.

The girl willingly agrees and quickly climbs up with the notes on the sofa, next to her mother. She hugs her by the shoulders. Mother had already noticed that Natasha likes high school girls. And now we are talking about them too.

You like them so much that you probably would like to be like them yourself, right? Anna Vasilievna smiled.

Natasha nods.

Of course, they are smart, adults.

And you will soon be the same. And they will say about you: “Natasha is a smart, good girl!” You understand: not a girl, but a girl.

Mom, what's the difference between a girl and a girl?

You said it yourself - she's an adult. Girls grow up gradually. And boys grow up, just differently from girls. At the age of ten or eleven, a girl's mammary glands begin to swell. Remember, you complained to me once that your chest hurts and swelled up. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Your figure will soon begin to change - you will be a little awkward at first, then you will become the same as your older friends. And inside you change. Do you feel it, perhaps? You sometimes look at the boys with great interest, in front of the mirror I began to stop more often, the mood is not very stable, right?

Natasha nodded thoughtfully.

The mother continues:

But the most important changes will begin in you when menstruation, or regula, monthly cleansing appears. Have you heard anything about them? When a girl becomes a girl, she (about every 28 days) has spotting from the genital tract. This continues for 3-5 days. You will probably start your period soon. Do not be afraid. It happens to every girl when she grows up. And do not be upset: becoming a girl is wonderful, really, and very responsible. After all, a girl is a future wife and mother. The time will come, Natasha, when young men will begin to pay attention to you, and then only it will depend on you how modest they will turn out to be. A real girl will never let anyone take liberties with her. She is strict and demanding of herself and others and is very friendly.

Mom, does it hurt when it bleeds?

No, it usually does not hurt, but sometimes, you may feel unwell or pulling pains in the lower abdomen. Yes, we will consult with you later on what to do if there are pains. I prepared a bag, in it - a few swimming trunks and soft, clean, well-ironed pads. You must take great care of yourself these days so as not to damage your health and so that no one notices anything. Not because there is something shameful here, but simply because it is very intimate. You see, there are things that only the person himself and his close friends should know about.

The girl must be taught to keep a diary, where she must note the time of the onset of menstruation, their duration, abundance, pain, etc.

Adolescent girls should be familiar with the structure and activity of the genital organs and, of course, with the rules of personal hygiene, especially during the menstrual period. During menstruation, it is necessary to wear hygienic dressings that you prepare yourself or buy at a pharmacy. The girl should be told that the used pads are either carefully washed and ironed, or, if thrown away, they must be wrapped in paper. An ugly, unaesthetic spectacle happens when bloody pieces of gauze and cotton wool are lying around in school women's toilets. The girl must be neat, clean, clean linen. She must firmly grasp that cleanliness and accuracy are guarantees of attractiveness.

In boys, at the beginning of puberty, the size of the external genitalia increases, hair appears in the pubic area. A little later (at the age of 14-16) the timbre of the voice changes, muscle strength increases. The body of a teenage boy is formed into the body of a man. During puberty in boys, there may be soreness and slight swelling of the breast nipples. This physiological phenomenon disappears with age and should not cause alarm in parents.

In boys during puberty, seminal fluid containing spermatozoa is ejected (pollutation). Pollution is one of the natural physiological stages of approaching puberty. Pollutions appear in boys aged 14-16 years. After them, it is imperative to wash the genitals, but allowing rubbing or combing.

Boys should be warned about the possibility of wet dreams.

"Sasha! I noticed that lately you have become irritable, unrestrained, sometimes even rude. It seems to me that you do not fight these shortcomings in your character because you do not understand what is happening to you. It's time to tell you something. Have you already noticed that you have a yellowish spot on your sheets and underwear after sleeping? This is understandable - a consequence of wet dreams: the release of seminal fluid in a dream. This phenomenon is normal and happens to ... guys at your age 1-2 times a week. During this period, young men have a strong sexual desire, and as a result of this, there may be masturbation or even an early sexual life. Read about the dangers of onanism in early sexual life in the brochure that I brought you.

Such a conversation between a father and son will not force him, with the appearance of wet dreams, to turn to comrades or outsiders, who often give incorrect, perverted explanations and advice.

During puberty, all skin glands work hard, the released sweat decomposes, which is accompanied by an unpleasant odor. Increased sweating, especially in the genital area and in the armpit, can cause irritation and even sexual arousal. Therefore, it is recommended to wash the genitals at least once a day. From a very early age, the boy must be taught to systematically toilet the penis. Then and in the future he will develop the habit of performing hygiene procedures.

An important and essential feature of adolescence is the development of sexual feelings, the formation of sexual sensations. Accordingly, as we have already said, there is an interest in the opposite sex.

Sexual attraction is associated not only with biological factors, but also with the social environment surrounding a person. Therefore, a teenager must be able to master the sexual instinct, and constantly keep it under control in accordance with duties towards a person, family, and society. The moral regulation of sexual instincts is ensured by the proper organization of work and rest for girls and boys, their involvement in sports sections, interesting hiking trips, labor camps, etc.

In adolescence, there is an intense search for a friend, but sexual desire, sexual interests are indifferent in nature and do not have a specific focus on a specific person. That's why teenagers don't know how to choose their girlfriend or boyfriend. Often a teenager first creates a favorite image, and then accidentally finds it in another person and is mistaken.

Parents should know that the awakening of sexual desire in girls is much less pronounced than in boys, and is not so sensual at first. Most often, it manifests itself in girls in the form of falling in love, striving for affection, attention; at this stage, the girl sees the boy as a friend rather than a future life partner. The need for affection, tenderness and attention in most girls persists throughout their lives. The girl dreams of meetings, joint walks, dances, knightly attention to her, etc. Puberty in girls begins earlier than in boys, which gives rise to some tension in their relationships. Girls cease to be comrades in common games with boys, they look down on them. Those, in turn, respond to them with harshness, rudeness.

Later, teenagers, wanting to attract the attention of girls, to please them, seek meetings with them, try to emphasize their strength and dexterity, be polite, show affection and tenderness.

In adolescence, love can already be born. The beauty of the relationship that develops between children of adolescence largely depends on the parents, their tact, understanding of a good, bright feeling of a son or daughter.

With a teenager, you must definitely talk about friendship, love, girlish honor, about everything secret. It is at this age that a boy should be educated in a caring attitude towards the girl. If the feeling of masculine nobility and respect for a woman is not awakened in time, a selfish and vulgar person will grow out of a boy.

In craving for the opposite sex during adolescence, preference is given to beauty, from both girls and boys.

The task of the family is to instill in children aesthetic tastes in relation to appearance, clothes, shoes, to show teenagers true beauty from a moral and physical point of view, to prevent the early manifestation of sexuality.

This article may be the topic of a pedagogical lecture at the parent meeting "On the sexual education of a teenager" to acquaint with the peculiarities of the relationship between boys and girls

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Problems of sexual education of adolescents

Tasks: Familiarize yourself with the features of the relationship between boys and girlsin adolescence; give recommendations for conversations with your daughter, son; focus on the behavior of parents during the period of the first child's love.

Sex education is a process of systematic, conscious, planned and implemented influence on the formation of sexual consciousness and behavior of people.

In adolescence, there are more and more problems that concern both children and their parents equally. Among them is the youthful friendship of boys and girls, which reveals to teenagers a bright range of feelings previously known to them.

During puberty, adolescents' feelings and attitudes change. A new meaning is given to them by sexual coloring.

The main goal of sexual education is the formation of moral forms in the younger generation in the field of gender relations in all spheres of activity. “Bringing up in a child honesty, hard work, sincerity, directness to purity, the habit of telling the truth, respect for another person, his feelings and interests, love for his Motherland, we thereby educate him sexually” - so thought A.S. .Makarenko.

At the age of 13-15 years, puberty occurs in adolescents. Adolescents at the time of puberty should get a fairly accurate idea of the anatomy of the genital organs, reproduction, pregnancy, childbirth. It is better for the father to have such conversations with the son, and for the mother with the girl. In both cases, adults should briefly talk about the changes taking place in adolescents of the opposite sex, emphasizing their naturalness and importance. Physical puberty in girls begins a year or two earlier than in boys, and is more intense. So, the main criterion by which one can judge the onset of puberty in girls is menstruation. In boys, the first wet dream occurs between the ages of 13 and 16, and the first signs of puberty appear between 10 and 15 years.

Acceleration (acceleration) is primarily reflected in physical development: increased height, body weight of adolescents, puberty began to occur earlier. Acceleration brought a lot of problems both for the children themselves and for adults, in particular, associated with earlier puberty - the possibility of motherhood and fatherhood at an age when our children still cannot perceive themselves as such and their formation has not yet been completed.

Puberty is an important, responsible and difficult stage of life. It is characterized by a complete lack of harmony. Neither the boy with a penetrating mustache nor the girl with fully developing feminine forms have yet come to the adult world, but have already left the world of childhood. Hence the duality of their position and actions, hence their many troubles. The loss of balance is caused by the restructuring of the hormonal system in the body, the difference in the pace of physical, spiritual development of a teenager and the degree of his social maturity, independence. All this can not be reflected in the mental state. The disharmony of spiritual and physical forces sometimes puts them in a difficult position. Lack of experience, self-doubt do not allow to get out of difficult situations with honor. A teenager often does stupid things, does things that are inexplicable from the point of view of logic. Psychologists consider this stage of development the most difficult for children emotionally. This should be taken into account by parents. If you trust teenagers, communicate with them on an equal footing, without humiliating their dignity, they will try to justify such an attitude. It is most expedient to conduct sexual education not through edifying conversations with children. And involve the child in everyday, family affairs. If parents, together with their children, plan and spend their leisure time, if children constantly see agreement and friendship between parents, then this is the best form of solving the issues of sexual education of the child in practice.

At this age, the next phase of psychosexual development begins - the phase of romantic love, on the one hand, and erotic desires, on the other. Erotic sexual desire - the desire not only spiritual, but also bodily contact, tenderness, caress, touch - worries a teenager. Adolescence is called hypersexual. Consciously or unconsciously, but it is at this age that the significance of sexual relations is especially high. Questions on this subject are asked, as a rule, by small children, and teenagers practically do not ask questions. Boys are embarrassed to talk about this topic with their fathers, and girls with their mothers. More often they turn to "older comrades" or peers. But their perceptions are distorted. Meanwhile, the cause of many teenage neuroses is due to incorrect sexual education. With such an attitude towards sex in the family, such an atmosphere at home, when a teenager has to suppress feelings and desires in himself, by a certain age he comes to the conclusion that sex is a sphere that is shrouded in mystery, and some kind of shameful, “dirty” one. He developed ideas about sexual relations as something nasty, low. But the attraction does not disappear from this, you cannot run away from yourself. And then the teenager subconsciously, as a means of self-defense, there is aggressiveness, irritability in relation to this area of feelings. The train of thought may be like this: “It doesn’t matter to me, I will consider that this is all nonsense.” So there is an artificial underestimation of the value of sex, sexual relations are depreciated. The nervous system in adolescents is very vulnerable, it does not tolerate rude interventions, disrespectful attitude to the inner world and experiences. Tact and patience of adults are needed, their recognition of the personal life of a son or daughter as an independently existing sphere. It is impossible to reduce sexual education to petty guardianship, to be limited to detailed questions and categorical humiliations, what to do in this or that case. It is best to try to lead the conversation in such a way that the teenager comes to the desired conclusion himself. If adults made a mistake when solving some issues, they must honestly admit, and not defend the wrong point of view for the sake of maintaining authority. After all, children at the age of 13-15 already understand everything perfectly and correctly evaluate this step that requires considerable courage.

How to treat parents to the first love of teenagers? Forbid? Arrange surveillance and appear in front of a couple who have taken refuge in a secluded place at the very moment when the first timid words of a declaration of love are ready to sound? To intimidate her daughter with the possibility of meeting a bad person who only thinks how to pick a flower of pleasure? Take repressive measures to make dating impossible? If sex education at the previous stages was carried out correctly and the parents taught their son or daughter to control the sexual instinct without suppressing the sexual experiences and emotions associated with it, they may not worry - the first love will not bring any unpleasant consequences. Well, if no one was seriously engaged in sexual education before adolescence, it is difficult to predict the behavior of a son or daughter.

From the age of 13-14, boys become extremely amorous. True, in the vast majority of cases, a kiss turns out to be the ultimate dream, but the intensity of the feeling does not decrease from this. Unlike girls of the same age, they are more prone to sexual fantasies. All this is accompanied by erotic dreams, pollutions and masturbations. And here it is necessary to actively promote the knowledge that abstinence does not harm the youthful body, but, on the contrary, contributes to its strengthening and maturation. The right attitude towards girls, girls, women should be laid down from childhood, maintained and formed throughout life. If a young man is not accustomed from childhood to treat women, if he can allow obscene expressions in their presence, if he does not feel guilty when talking to them, not even being drunk, but only “drunk”, he is not brought up.

In cultivating the right attitude towards women, the most important role is played by personal example. The example of a father in a family always influences the formation of a man-husband and father in children of both sexes.

In connection with changes in the psychophysical state, a girl of 13-15 years of age should receive information about her sexual life. Starting a conversation like this isn't easy. But necessary. It is better if there is some suitable reason for this, but you should not wait too long for it - you can be late. It is impossible to smear black paint on all young men, without exception, who are allegedly only interested in achieving intimacy, this can cripple the daughter of the happiest time of life - the time of first love. But it is necessary to awaken a sense of self-esteem, girlish honor and pride, to convince that love is higher than purely bodily pleasure and that a young man who, as it sometimes happens, declares: “If you don’t agree to intimacy, then you don’t love,” just not worthy of love, and in any case he does not love himself.

There are two main mistakes in the sex education of girls. Some mothers (with girls, of course, mothers should talk more and more often on such topics) completely ignore the issues of sexual life, others, paying sufficient attention to them. Illuminates them only from the negative side. The second variant of mothers' behavior is no better than the first, because the forbidden fruit is always sweet, there is doubt about the validity of mother's words, and therefore the desire to check who is right.

An important task of sex education is to develop rules of conduct with members of the opposite sex. In relations with all males, a girl must remember her exceptional position in nature. She must remain (or become) feminine, beautiful, weak (and thus strong). She must know and remember that the highest destiny in life is the birth of her own kind, the continuation of the family, and not momentary joy and pleasure. It is also important to cultivate chastity of thoughts, relationships, and meetings. So that neither a friend, nor a friend, and even less so the first person you meet, has any idea that it will be easy for him to achieve intimacy with this girl. Often the wrong behavior of girls leads to serious mental trauma, rape, innumerable troubles of a broken personality. It is also indisputable that accustoming a girl to neatness, morning exercises, hair care, etc. relates to sex education and can be no less important for establishing harmonious relationships in the family than all other points directly related to sexual life.

Proper sex education should instill in adolescents a negative attitude towards cynical inscriptions and drawings, obscene jokes and vulgar anecdotes, cheeky behavior in society and on the street. And here the example of parents, their highly moral behavior helps the child to avoid dirt and vulgarity in matters of sex.

Many adults hope for a “maybe”: if they grow up, they will find out for themselves. This is a vicious method of sex education. In order to successfully solve the problems of sexual education, teachers and parents should be provided with relevant information, correlated with the sex and age patterns of human development, they should have developed adequate educational attitudes and skills. Today it can be difficult for parents and educators to overcome the barriers erected in the way of sex education. Like any education, sex education should be carried out from early childhood.

Sexual education of adolescents is a very important aspect, and sometimes very difficult for parents. Who sometimes think it will corrupt their children. Or they think it's too early. In addition, in our society it is customary to remain silent about sexual relations, as there is too much embarrassment and shame. Sometimes unbearable.

The Importance of Sex Education

Sexual education of children and adolescents includes not only the topics of sex. It contributes to the harmonious development of the child in the personal and social sphere.

Let us consider in more detail which areas are affected by proper sex education:

Helps to assign an identity. Children from the age of three discover their gender and can distinguish boys and girls by gender. At an older age, they think about how it is to be a man or a woman. What are the differences? What are the features? How are relationships with the opposite sex built? What difficulties arise? They understand what attracts them in another or, conversely, repels them.
Forms sexual preferences and orientation. Helps to understand your sexuality. Thanks to this, the enrichment of the personality occurs and the ability to love increases. And also, due to the awareness of one's attractiveness, the risk of sexopathological disorders is reduced.
Prepares for responsibility in partnerships and marriages. Helps to understand their role and responsibilities in the family.
Prepares for parenthood through the formation of role-playing behavior. How is it to be a father or mother? What does the father do, and what is the role of the mother?
And of course, forms the habit of a healthy lifestyle. Effects of alcohol, smoking or drugs on health and childbearing. Proper and daily hygiene. Protected sex against unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Features of sexual education of children are that it begins immediately after birth and improves with each period. Therefore, it is already a little late to start talking about sex education in adolescence. The processes started many years ago.

Features of sex education at different ages

Early age

Psychosexual development occurs immediately after birth. The baby responds to touch, stroking and motion sickness. At the age of 6 months, he begins to be interested in parts of his body. He only discovers his separation from his mother and explores himself. Therefore, he touches everything he gets to. No need to be scared if the genitals are examined much more often. This is normal, do not scold and remove your hands.

At the age of two, he knows the names of all parts of the body. And at three, it already distinguishes boys from girls not only in pink and bows. He may start to wonder how he got into his mother's tummy. Tell us in an accessible way and without details how children are born (from the love of dad and mom ...). And in no case do not invent about storks and cabbage. Otherwise, the baby will grow up and lose confidence in your words.

At 4 years old, self-identification with a boy or girl occurs. May begin to repeatedly touch his genitals, realizing that it is pleasant. Do not scold him again, it will pass soon. But with a sharp negative situation, difficulties of a sexual nature may develop over time. After all, it will be deposited in the mind that it is shameful, dirty and ugly. If you feel uncomfortable, leave the room for a minute.

Preschool and primary school age

At the age of five, shyness appears. From now on, the child should take a shower only with a parent of the same gender. If this is not possible, teach proper hygiene of the genital organs, he will wash himself. Or he enters the bath in his panties, and takes off after he is helped to wash his back and head.

At school age, they can actively discuss the topics of sex with their peers. This is an important period when you can form a trusting relationship. Explain to the baby that in case of any questions on the topic of sex, he can contact you. It is important to talk about menstruation with girls under 7-8 years old, otherwise she will be scared when this does not happen to her for the first time.

Adolescence

During this period, children undergo a restructuring of the hormonal background. And puberty is starting to kick in. In boys, sexual desire is more pronounced, they strive specifically for sexual contact. It is important for them to like, fall in love and receive romantic confessions from guys.

What to talk about

First of all, you should tell your child about how to protect and maintain your health. As well as the health of the future partner. Choose the right time and be sure to talk about topics such as:

The physiological structure of their genital organs. There can be a lot of embarrassment and tension, but still try to call all the organs by the appropriate terms. No need to come up with affectionate names, the child must know reliable information about the structure of his body. Tell us about the functions of each organ, why it was created by nature.
Puberty. Provide information about the processes that occur in their body. It will be much easier for them to deal with change when they know it's okay. That this happens to everyone, only for someone it starts earlier, for someone later.
For girls, detailed information about menstruation, that breasts can change. Hair will begin to grow in intimate areas. It is important for boys to know about the occurrence of nocturnal emissions. The fact that sometimes they will experience arousal and erection. The voice will begin to “break” and vegetation will also appear both in the intimate zone and on the face.
Hygiene. It seems so understandable, children have long been accustomed to hygiene. But now you can tell in more detail about the diseases that occur when cleanliness is not observed. It is important to change your underwear daily and wash yourself regularly. Sometimes even the abuse of washing can lead to an inflammatory process in girls. Rare washing threatens the boys with infection of the lubricant that accumulates under the foreskin. And over time, this can cause it to narrow, which is called phimosis.
Venereal diseases. What are the signs of infection, the consequences. Tell us about which doctors are engaged in diagnostics. What treatment can be prescribed. It is important for them to know about the consequences of a rash act. That this can lead to colossal changes in their body. That treatment can take a very long period. And diseases such as HIV and AIDS remain for life. And they require constant maintenance of the immune system with the help of medications.
Methods of contraception. Tell the existing methods of contraception and protection not only from diseases, but also from unwanted pregnancy. Show how to use a condom correctly. Which way to turn and how to dress correctly. What can not be opened with teeth in order to avoid damage. It is also undesirable to carry it in your pocket, otherwise it may rub off. All these nuances are very important, otherwise the protective functions are lost.
Bad habits. Adolescents should be aware of the harmful effects of smoking, alcohol and drugs on their bodies. That it is addictive. It greatly affects the health of future children. It can change their consciousness and destroy their health.

How to communicate about intimacy

It is important that a parent of the same sex conducts a conversation with a teenager. Otherwise, it can cause a lot of embarrassment in the child. Because of which he can refuse dialogue. In the case when this is not possible, try to tell something in stages. When he gets used to it and trust builds, you can move on to a more open conversation.
Regarding the topic of hormonal adjustment, provide not only information, but teach how to deal with changes correctly. Support your daughter, choose the necessary hygiene products during menstruation and teach them how to use them. Boys, in order to avoid feelings of shame in front of their parents, teach how to change and wash the bed on their own. Show me how to shave safely. What bra to choose, what underwear is necessary for comfort and health.
If you find pornographic material - no need to make a scandal. This will only alienate the teenager from you. Their interest is experimental. Teenagers usually discuss any points related to sex. They exchange knowledge. Therefore, it is not surprising that your child decided to satisfy his curiosity. Be calm if a son or daughter has seen pornographic moments, this does not mean that they do not understand the difference between close relationships and just sex.
Besides, forbidden fruit is sweet. He will always find an opportunity to get the necessary material, another time hiding it better. Do not intimidate and also do not talk about disgust for such a process. Otherwise, he will devalue all the information that he previously received from you in order to protect. Be patient and respect your teen's personal boundaries. And take the time to create a value system in which sexuality does not overwhelm other interests.
Watch movies about love together, discuss them. At the same time, give the teenager the opportunity to express his opinion. And in no case do not criticize him. He is only learning, he has no experience compared to you. It is better to share your relationship history, mistakes and their consequences. How did you cope with them, lived through difficult moments.
Teach them to declare their boundaries, about what they don’t like or don’t want. Let him understand that refusing and saying “this is unacceptable to me” is normal and correct. No one has the right to force them to ignore themselves in order to please. Because of the fear of rejection, they can do a lot of stupid things. Learn to respect yourself and accept them for who they are.
Teach them that falling in love should not replace everything in their lives. Studying at school, duties at home and attending circles should not be ignored. And in a relationship, it is important to be able to respect the other, take care of him. Show affection, support and listen.
Do not react with anger or resentment if the child laughs and jokes during the conversation. He does not discount your attempts, but tries to cope with his awkwardness. Thus, discharge occurs.

Sexual education of children and adolescents sometimes requires enormous efforts. But they are justified. Thanks to timely information, your child will learn to build harmonious relationships with the opposite sex. According to statistics, children with whom parents talked about sex were less susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. If you have a successful conversation, over time you will return to it. Because your child will feel supported and seek the experience with new questions.

Psychologist, psychotherapist, personal well-being specialist

Svetlana Buk

A person learns to love all his life, and this must be taken seriously.

Scientists have long known the stages in which the manifestation of the inherent ability of any person to love is expressed especially strongly.

1. About 3 years old, when a boy or girl of the same age or older begins to really like them,

2. Junior school age (7-8) years, when semi-childish love manifests itself in mutual tenderness and pity, and sometimes in negative actions.

3. This is adolescence (12 - 13 years), when a feeling for another person of the opposite sex is expressed in a craving for communication, an insatiable interest in the object of love (sometimes it attracts any one component of appearance - for example, hair or legs).

4. Adolescence (15-17 years), when the attachment of boys and girls to each other is already almost completely “adult” in nature, because it is based on a craving for deep personal intimacy, the desire to know the personality of the “object” of love.

In the "transitional" adolescence, there is often a kind of "dress rehearsal" of the entire love life. A person learns to recognize love, to feel and distinguish this special state of mind. And even if this is really only a “rehearsal”, then it is of great value for the formation of a person. Here the ability to cope with oneself, enjoy the company of a loved one, experience love failures, defeats, express one's feelings and much more is honed.

Finally, at this time, the formation of the girl as a woman and the boy as a man takes place. A sense of their feminine and masculine value, strength and attractiveness is formed.

Much of what seemed important to a teenager, whether it was a pimple on the nose, plump legs or protruding ears, the number of boys “falling in love” with you or “winning” girls will subsequently lose almost all significance. But the feeling of your love viability or insignificance can remain for life.

In the sexual education of adolescents, the wise, thoughtful tactics of adults, parents, who would not be crushed in their children by feelings that need to be preserved, are extremely important. corrode these natural human urges. (By the way, psychologists have long concluded that a neurotic is someone who, in the field of feelings, forbade everything to himself, all natural manifestations; an apsychopath is a “slave” of his

"slaves", his feelings, the one who let them loose their belts).

Among parents there is no single point of view regarding the sexual education of children. Some believe that it is not necessary to conduct any conversations on the topics of sex education, because this will exacerbate interest in instincts, unconscious processes. Others believe that these purely biological explanations are up to doctors and teachers, not parents. I think both of them are wrong. This is not about biological explanations, but about sex education. So wouldn't it be better not to talk about this topic at all? It must be assumed that the negative attitude to this problem is due to the complexity and unusual nature of its content. Indeed, not all educators and parents are ready to conduct conversations on these topics. After all, an unsuccessful conversation on such topics is not only useless, but also harmful. On the other hand, if we remain silent about this sphere of human relations in the process of personality development or let it take its course, then the youth will be beyond the control of the elders.

Sex education, first of all, should be based on the formation of respectful relations between a boy and a girl, between a man and a woman. Sex education is, first of all, a delicate attitude towards their gender, natural data.

The period between childhood and adulthood is called puberty or adolescence. This is a period of rapid physical and mental development. The skeletal and muscular system is strengthened, consciousness of one's own strength arises, interests become wider, the inner world is richer, emotions are brighter and more contradictory; there is irritability, irascibility, sharpness.

A teenager begins to mature sexually, and this brings with it new sensations, experiences, a new perception of himself. He observes himself more, he is more worried about everything related to himself than what is happening in the world around him. Introspection, self-esteem, come to the fore in a teenager. The desire to understand oneself, compare, evaluate becomes a need.

It is very good if by all previous upbringing a teenager was prepared not to conceal his problems and thoughts from his parents. Sincere trusting contact at this time is extremely necessary both between parents and children, and between teachers and pupils. And yet it is more convenient for the mother to talk about some physiological manifestations (meaning manifestations associated with puberty) with the daughter, and the father for the asson.

In conversations with teenagers, it is important to touch upon issues of a moral and ethical nature - respect for a woman, mother, girlish honor, the honor and dignity of a young man, mutual respect, modesty and chastity (although in our time they have somehow begun to forget about the latter), friendship and love, about anatomical and physiological manifestations in boys and girls, about the hygiene of girls and boys. At the same time, it is not recommended to be limited to facts of a biological nature and advice from the field of hygiene. It is necessary to inspire children with confidence in the naturalness of new sensations, to convince them that there is nothing terrible, let alone indecent. “It's just that you, the daughter are getting older” - this is a must-have for a teenager, but so naturally to help him calmly relate to complex emotional experiences associated with his physical condition.

Parents know that all boys are happy to perceive an increase in growth, the accumulation of muscle effort, and strive to demonstrate them to others. But some of them carefully hide the manifestation of wet dreams from their parents. Partly with fear, partly with interest, adolescents meet the onset of changes in their bodies caused by sexual development.

The duty of the father to explain to the son that the wet dreams that have arisen is a physiological act, consisting in the spontaneous release of seminal fluid. This process is harmless, inherent in all the guys at this time, and that it should be treated calmly, since this is one of the manifestations of puberty; if there were no pollutions, then this would indicate some deviations in the development of the organism. But when a boy's ejaculation occurs too often (every day), a doctor should be consulted.

In girls during puberty, the appearance changes noticeably: the figure is rounded, growth slows down somewhat, the mammary glands increase - all this causes new sensations, along with them - modesty. Girls are embarrassed, ashamed of themselves. The elders in the house - mother, sister should tactfully explain that the feminine outlines of the figure are not only natural, but also very beautiful, that they speak of the approach of a new, beautiful time in life. The mother should prepare her daughter for the onset of menstruation. Some girls perceive menstruation as something incomprehensible, unexpected, and even terrible. They have a decrease in working capacity, fatigue increases, neurotic reactions appear: irritability, tearfulness. During this period, girls especially need care and careful handling.

At the time of adolescence and youth, girls are constantly worried about the problem of personal beauty. Is she beautiful in face, appearance, figure, and if the girl really has a flaw, even an insignificant one, it brings her great mental trauma. That is why all sorts of jokes about her appearance cause her pain and suffering, and here one must be more delicate. At the same time, girls are gratefully ready to accept both praise addressed to them and advice (namely, advice, not notations) on how to dress, comb their hair in accordance with their characteristics and age, in order to be graceful and attractive, if these tips are expressed in a benevolent manner. form.

It is good if parents do not forget to also emphasize that a person is valued not for external, but for moral qualities. By instilling in a girl or boy such qualities as honesty, kindness, responsiveness, sincerity, respect for another person, we are already preparing the foundation on which human relations at future work and marital relations in the family will be built.

The personal example of parents, their correct attitude towards each other, love for children, respect for the mother on the part of all family members - this is the invaluable example for the future family man. It is especially important to teach a child to show tender care for people, relatives and others. This is the first step towards respecting a woman, seeing her as a friend and future mother.

Unfortunately, some adults have a persistent delusion that any intimate-personal relationship between boys and girls is inevitably fraught with sexual contact.

But if you avoid talking, teenagers (and sometimes even younger children) will get interesting information on the topic “why and how I was born” from other, less decent sources. If you have to give the "official" version of love, conception, the birth of a child for the first time, it's good to adhere to the following principles.

1. You should not instill in children a view of intimate relationships as something terrible, immoral, unclean. I would like to recall here the danger of a very serious pedagogical mistake by many parents (and sometimes teachers), who form negativism towards the opposite sex in teenagers, boys and girls. Mothers show a special, but completely unnecessary activity here, diligently intimidating their daughters with “these rude men who only need one thing”, assons with “bad women who just want to get you under their heel, or take advantage of your inexperience and infect you with a disease. It is necessary to cultivate a calm, natural attitude towards the problems of gender relations. Not simplified, vulgar, but simple, healthy, which will help create a normal family in the future.

It is very important to talk about love, during which we will talk about the nobility and culture of feelings, respect for each other. It is very important to avoid any fixation of the guys on the sexual side of the relationship, to give balanced, thoughtful information on this topic, and to do it calmly, without excessive emotionality, or, conversely, contemptuous arrogance, without making a terrible secret out of it.

It is quite natural that after the age of 13, a teenager thinks about intimacy, about the realization of his sensual, erotic dreams. But this does not mean at all that they should be immediately implemented, and it is precisely the refusal of such attempts that speaks of the willpower and maturity of a person.

2. It is necessary to explain that only the questioner himself can decide the question of the possibility of intimacy, neither mom, nor dad, nor friend or girlfriend, nor teacher, nor, moreover, strangers have the right to dictate terms here or give advice. (It must be remembered that adolescents often want to do everything contrary to such advice, especially if this advice is expressed in a harsh form). But it must be borne in mind that every decent person, if he is old enough (morally mature), must act in such a way as not to cause misfortunes for himself and another person. At the same time, one should not forget that although two love, a third may appear as a result. According to the level of physical development, almost every senior high school student can already become a father or mother.

Doctors say that an early sexual life is harmful to the body of both girls and boys. It carries loads that they are not yet ready for, loosening the nervous system, weakening many functions. Especially it should be said about the negative impact of early sexual experience on subsequent sexual life, about the possibility of weakening sexual potency, distorting the range of acceptability (this is the name of the set of forms of sexual behavior that causes a positive emotional and sensual reaction in partners).

3. What motives drive boys and girls when they have sexual intercourse?

It turns out (and this needs to be explained to girls) that a young man, as a rule, seeks to start a sexual life out of curiosity, a thirst for self-assertion, to satisfy his sexual needs. The choice of object is quite often random, it can be any girl or woman who has fallen into the space of sexual attraction. Therefore, loves are short, interest in the object is quickly lost.

Girls primarily value emotional contacts. For them, physical intimacy is more a means to strengthen relationships with a young man than an end in itself. Therefore, when a girl refuses a guy intimacy, she doesn’t “break down” at all, and doesn’t fill her worth, as guys sometimes think.

Girls need to remember that boys are characterized by a phase of so-called hypersexuality. It starts in adolescence and lasts 2-3 years. This period is characterized by increased excitability and the growth of erotic interests and fantasies.

Girls develop differently. Although they mature earlier than boys, they first have a need for psychological, emotional intimacy with a young man, and only later - erotic feelings.