A single mother deserves a real man, not another child. Single mom - a cross on personal life

13.06.2019

Hello! The topic of today's article is a single mother wants to meet. Are you a single mother and the topic of dating a man is one of the most important for you? Let's discuss how it is right for a single mother to get to know a man, so as not only not to push him away from herself, but also to achieve complete sympathy and mutual understanding.

Many women who are raising their baby without a father are afraid to start new relationships with men. Naturally, a mother should first of all think about her child, and then about herself. You can not bring into the house the first guy who came across who aroused sympathy. To get acquainted you need to prepare yourself, and the baby, and the man. Some representatives of the stronger sex categorically refuse to start relationships with single mothers, fearing that they will have to take care of someone else's offspring. How can a single mother meet a man? What to pay attention to? How to bring it into the house? You may also be interested in articles on or men?

So, if a single mother wants to meet a man to further create a family, then following a few simple recommendations described below will help her with this:

The main thing is that you do not need to hide anything from anyone. You should immediately tell your new lover that you are raising a child. If a man reacts negatively to this information, does not feel any sympathy for someone else's child, then he should not even be introduced to his child. Leave this person as a lover for now. If over time the situation changes, then it will be possible to think about closer communication between the baby and the man.
Introduce someone else's uncle to your son or daughter as a friend. At first, children should not know about the love affair between the mother and an unfamiliar man. Let the child get used to it a little, begin to communicate freely. Only then will it be possible to reveal all the cards.
If you are going to have a serious relationship with a man, be sure to get to know his parents, close relatives and friends. Sometimes it happens that the inner circle of a young man expresses frank dislike for single mothers. Such people will constantly tell your boyfriend that you and your baby will become a real burden for him, that he must find a free and lonely lady. Not every man can withstand such pressure. Therefore, you should think carefully about the continuation of your relationship.

It is very important for any woman to see that people close to her have found a common language with each other. Do not forget that if a single mother wants to meet a man, but her baby is still too small, then he can become very attached to this man. And if the relationship ends, then the child may feel unwanted and abandoned. But most often, the appearance of a stranger in the house causes wild childish jealousy, which is very difficult to cope with. Then the woman will definitely have to choose between the calmness of the baby and her own love. Are you ready for this choice? Happiness to you!

2. Time is precious to her.

Children take a lot of physical and moral strength, so in rare moments without them, mom wants to take a nap, watch a new movie, drink or do something else just as pleasant. But in reality, this time is more often devoted to cleaning, cooking and other household chores. Therefore, a single mother values her time most of all and will not waste it on those who are not worth it. If she gets bored on the first date, then the second one will definitely prefer laundry.

3. She can't let her emotions out.

A single mother usually does not have time for sobbing into the pillow and emotional distress, because she is busy with children, home, and even work. Therefore, if she seems overly restrained and harsh, it most likely only seems.

4. Getting to know her child is the most important event.

A single mother will definitely not introduce a boyfriend to children after the first date. And after the second. This requires a really promising relationship, no matter how child-loving the new man may be. The reason is simple: children quickly get used to the new “dad”, and if he disappears in a week or a month, they will be very bored.

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5. The baby is her top priority.

A man in the life of a single mother will always be in the background. It's one of those things that doesn't need to be explained: she put her whole soul (and part of her body) into the offspring, and anyone who tries to break their bond will lose.

6. Sometimes she will have to take the child on dates.

Of course, she would like sensual dates and preferably for the whole night. But the circumstance in the person of her child will have to be reckoned with - after the man passes the acquaintance test. Sometimes there will be no one to leave him with or he will want to see “that uncle” again. So you have to keep your feelings to yourself.

7. Communication with an ex-husband is not the same as feelings for him.

If a single mother gives the child to her ex-husband or meets with him on some children's business, this does not mean at all that they want everything back. They are just good parents, and the child is the only thing that unites them now.

8. She can cancel a date.

Troubles happen, and most often - with children. A date can be postponed if the baby suddenly gets sick, needs attention right now, or something unexpected happens. Do not be offended - anyone has the right to get sick.

9. She doesn't need to be rescued

A single mother is not at all an unhappy person who is just waiting for a prince on a white horse to appear and save her from paying bills and screwing in light bulbs. There is a time for everything, and pity, along with unsolicited help, is out of place here. However, as in any other relationship.

Today we are talking about single mothers. Each of them deserves to be loved.

But the fear of letting any man into your life is even stronger than the desire to find love. After all, now she thinks not only about herself and her happiness, but also about the well-being of her children. She is a woman who can take care of her own home. She is strong enough to love fearlessly, but if a man proves that he is worthy of her heart.

Too many men dread the idea of dating a single mom because of the responsibility that comes with it.

No single mother will start dating without a specific goal. And it scares men.

If she chose you, then you should know that she chose you to lead the family. To you, as her man, she believes that you will be strong enough to shoulder the household chores. She won't "play house".

Most single moms manage their own household chores, pay their own bills, take care of themselves and their children, and all this in addition to their main job. Life brings down on them and everything else. Be grateful that she believes in you, gives you the opportunity to prove that you are worth her time.

Single mothers do not waste time with boys who have not yet come off their own mothers' breasts, but want to be perceived as real men.

A single mom has kids of her own to take care of your ass too. actions, they are not turned on by beautiful words and promises. They need men who make phone calls and make plans.

She demands nothing more than your loyalty and love. Show her that you're worth her time. Since she chose to spend it with you, away from her children, at least be honest about your intentions.

If you grew up in an incomplete family, then you know about all those battles that mom goes through.

Be the man your own mother would like to meet, the man you would like to see in your father.

Stepping into a single life after many years of marriage and raising a child alone is very difficult. Many single women try to create a new family and arrange a personal life, but only a few succeed.

Desperate divorcees?

By the evening of acquaintances, the divorced 39-year-old Irina Osipova, the mother of a seven-year-old son, prepared thoroughly: she lost weight, made up, in a word, began to look more stylish and attractive. At the party, having chatted in a short time with several potential chosen ones, Ira chose one of them. Several times she tried in vain to communicate with him via the Internet. “In the end,” she says with a sigh, “I asked the employee who organizes such evenings to show me his resume, from which I learned that he prefers childless women ...”

Unfortunately, often attempts to re-arrange personal life can be unsuccessful and painful. Not to mention the factors that cannot be ignored: stress, the need to earn more, the difficult process of "settling down" a new relationship with an ex-husband, looking for a nanny for a child. The above is enough for a single mother, in despair, to forever bury the idea of going on a date and spending the evening in the company of a pleasant man.

In fact, not everything is so gloomy. Many moms are even enjoying the freedom that comes with her new status! The modern woman does not feel single mother forced by all means to have a husband in order to legitimize her role as a mother. In addition, more and more divorced women are occupied with a career and are not limited to family interests. Therefore, they do not have an irresistible desire to fill with something the gaping emptiness in their hearts, which their husband recently occupied.

30 years ago, for example, there were half as many single mothers as there are today. As a result, public opinion towards single mothers (desperate divorcees who hunt for potential daddies for their unfortunate children) has changed dramatically. The modern single mother is more interested in arranging a new life, and for this she does not have to look for a man at all. If, nevertheless, a woman tries to find a soul mate, then she does it on her own terms and not always immediately after a divorce. Although in the end, most of them remarry after about three years. Nevertheless, any divorced mother faces certain difficulties. And there are three basic rules that will help to overcome them.

First: take your time. Think about how the man you have chosen can fit into your life.

Second: don't lose your "sense of balance". Put your needs on one side of the scale and your children's needs on the other.

Third: respect the boundaries. Not all information about changes in your personal life needs to be shared with children.

Most divorced women put work and raising children above their own free time and female happiness. And if the chronic lack of time is complemented by a difficult relationship with an ex-husband and his unplanned visits to meet with children, then many will forever refuse spontaneously planned dates.

At the same time, many single mothers, when dating other men, feel confident, because they do not need to prove to anyone that they can get married at least once. After all, they have already taken place in the most important role of a woman - the role of a mother.

Some women want to remarry and have a child with a new husband, but there are others who are openly enjoying themselves after a failed marriage. Most psychologists believe that divorced mothers who meet new men are much calmer and less frustrated with life than unmarried women. But this is not easy for them: a strange child for a man is not a long-awaited gift. “When I meet men, I have no doubt that they are passionate about me,” Elena Startseva, a 32-year-old manager of a large construction company, shares her experience. “Until I inform them that my son is waiting for me at home. In most cases interest in me instantly faded away.Sometimes men invited me on a date even after they found out about their son, but rather, just out of politeness. "

Instant Family

There are men, psychologists warn, for whom a single mother is easy prey. For some reason, they think that young divorced mothers are desperately looking for male attention and love. They are warmed by the thought that such women should be grateful to them: after all, the man turned his favorable gaze on her, and not on the younger, childless, unmarried ... Therefore, before entering into a serious relationship with a man, it is better to try to find out motives for his courtship.

37-year-old Olga Morshanova, mother of a three-year-old daughter, spoke about the failures that befell her in relationships with three men. One of them, after the first meeting, called her home at 3 o'clock in the morning (say "Good morning"?). The second (also after the first date) said that he does not fall into ecstasy from the fact that she has a child. The third called Olga a "hot mom" and said that she had an "instant family - just add water." It is clear that she quickly said goodbye to these men.

Some men, especially those who have not yet known fatherhood, are frightened when they are directly confronted with a reality where toys and diapers reign. “I would like that for the man I am dating, going to a cafe or to the cinema with my child would not be a painful burden,” says Olga. “After all, for me, a child is an indisputable priority and I hardly find time for evening dates” . Unfortunately, not every man is able to understand this.

“Being a single mother and a woman is like experiencing a split personality,” says 33-year-old nurse Ekaterina Lavrova. “90% of the time I am the mother of a five-year-old daughter, the remaining 10% I can spend on myself and communicate with people of interest to me. That’s enough, to feel like I'm 20 again! At first I worry about leaving home for a date or a party, but then I suddenly realize: wow, great! You can relax and take your mind off your worries! There is something strange about going on dates and being mother. But you need to understand that you are not only a mother, but also just a person! And meetings with the opposite sex return me, who was thoroughly shaken after a divorce. " By the way, for Katya acquaintance with a man - not an end in itself. "How many times they tried to introduce me to potential suitors! But I was in no hurry to find a husband for myself - I focused on work, family and felt very good!" - confesses Katya, who recently had a serious contender for her hand and heart. She regrets only one thing: she brought one of her boyfriends into the house too early. 6 months after the divorce, she became interested in one man and introduced him to her little daughter as a groom. After some time, their paths parted, and the daughter, who became attached to him, asked for a long time: "Where did mother's fiancé go?"

When 30-year-old Marina Stepanova divorced her husband, her son Danila was only a year old. At first, she allowed the men she met to accompany them with their son on walks in the park or invited them to her home. “I soon realized that it’s better not to do this. All of them considered it necessary to show their parental abilities. One of them even began to correct the reading of the growing Danila, which I didn’t like at all.

Men can only say how much they enjoy dating a single mother. In fact, not all unmarried men feel comfortable in the role of the father of a ready-made child. When 35-year-old firefighter Igor Vasiliev began dating 33-year-old Anna, a supermarket manager, he couldn't keep up with her son Gosha's schedule. Therefore, Anya met him mainly when the boy was with his own father. On the other hand, Igor liked Anna precisely because she "values her family and is very responsible." “I didn’t want to immediately throw my son and beloved man into each other’s arms,” Anna recalls. “I tried to make them communicate in a friendly way, given that Gosha’s own father does a lot.” Over time, Anna's beloved men developed a true friendship. But she was worried about another problem: the future acquaintance with Igor's parents. Anya was very worried: how they would accept her child. But the worries turned out to be in vain, Igor's parents are friendly and Anya recently married Igor.

Single father willing to compromise

The most reliable category of men for single moms is single dads. 40-year-old Inga Bovina accompanied her daughter Katya to school every day. And every day I watched admiringly a middle-aged man who drove his daughter to school by the same route. “He is not only good-looking, but also attentive and accurate - his seven-year-old daughter had a wonderful pigtail braided every day. It shocked me,” Inga smiles. One day they got to talking, got to know each other and learned a lot about each other. “Dating single fathers is much easier,” Inga says, “they are ready to compromise, because it is important for a child to understand that he is the main one, and a man should be okay with this.” In addition, single fathers are no less pragmatic than single mothers. "On the first date, Sergei immediately told me: divorced, I want to marry again. Meeting with him, I got to know myself again. And I really appreciate that he gave me this opportunity."

The lonely voyage of Marina Stepanova also ended. She met a 39-year-old widower who raised his daughter alone. "We soon realized that with our schedules, we could only meet once a month." During the year they only occasionally saw each other, talked only on the phone, then they realized: they must either part or unite their destinies. They chose the latter.

Arrange a personal life or leave everything as it was?

“When my husband and I divorced after 10 years of marriage,” Elena Rybchinskaya confesses, “I made a promise to myself to follow the law of three “not”: not to use my son in a relationship with my husband, not to do a facelift, not to turn into a lady ready to jump into bed to the first person I met. Nevertheless, the first thing I went to a store that sells beautiful underwear. Even if I have to take off my clothes in the presence of a new man, I'd rather be buried in expensive lace than in a modest, featureless linen of a stall. It's amazing, but along with the new underwear, I also had new thoughts. sex. In pre-married life, everything was simple: do I want to sleep with this young man and does he want to sleep with me? In married life it's even simpler: do I want to sleep with my husband or do I just want to sleep? But intimate life after divorce is more complicated. With whom? When? And most importantly, why?

The only thing I was sure of until the end: I need to make the right choice for myself and nine-year-old son Nikita. A choice that would not leave psychological scars in our souls, already painfully surviving the breakup of the family. I understood very well: the chances of making a stupid choice immediately after a divorce are very high! I did not want to plunge into a light romance that would lead to the inevitable communication of my son with a complete stranger. I vowed not to introduce Nikita to any of my new acquaintances until our relationship moved to a more serious level. Sometimes I was even overly cautious. Dating a man after a divorce is like driving again after an accident. You understand that it is necessary, but you already realize how easy it is to lose control. In this state, a woman needs, first of all, compliments, entertainment. But what is it really? A night spent with a man, the next day waiting in vain for his phone call, and the belated realization that you've been fooled.

My vigilance sharpened when my ex-husband had his first girlfriend, who stayed overnight even when Nikita came to his father for the weekend. I was worried about their rapidly developing relationship, because when we lived as one family, Nikita had a habit of bursting into our room in the morning without knocking and hugging us in turn. "You don't have to go into daddy's bedroom if the door is closed," I said. "Because they're having sex?" my son surprised me. "Maybe so". - "And what is" to have sex?

As far as I know, the son did not come to his father without knocking anymore and did not ask me questions about sex anymore. Although, of course, he was annoyed by the inevitability of sharing his legal hours with his dad with some other aunt. And then I decided: until the passions subside, I will not force my son to share his mother with someone else. Nikita needs a mother more than I need a dear friend.

Once a man appeared in my life who, on the very first date (it also became the last one), told me that he had not seen his teenage son for five years, because his ex-wife was so-and-so ... Until now, I I remember him with a shudder. I experienced something similar to love for a man who kissed me as if I were the only woman on Earth: gently and passionately at the same time. I admired him. But, if I met the same man on the way, then the time turned out to be not right ... Every single mother has the right to an intimate life. But safe, with a man who will never make you cry and will certainly never hurt your children. A woman needs a life filled with love and respect. In short, such that you suddenly want to shave for someone your legs, which have been worked out during the day. In the meantime, I spend Sunday evenings at home watching TV: on one side of the sofa, a dozing cat was attached, on the other - my beloved smiling son. And between them, I am all romantic, old-fashioned and demanding, in a dressing gown, under which beautiful underwear is waiting in the wings.

Approximately 75% of divorcees are between the ages of 25 and 44.
The more children a single mother has, the less likely she is to get married again (about two million divorced women have one child, a million two, half a million three or more children under the age of 18).
75% of officially registered remarriages take place after a period of civil residence.

Psychologists believe that one of the most common mistakes single mothers make is an attempt to combine their personal life with family life. Do not rush to do this: the consequences can be the most unpleasant. So:

Introduce your friend to your children only when necessary.

Children may become genuinely attached to him and feel abandoned if your relationship ends. Some kids will painfully experience another loss.

Discuss personal life with children less.

First, introduce the man as a friend. So you will not awaken feelings of anger, jealousy in the child, you will not provoke a completely understandable "strike" in relation to your friend.

Consider the age of the children.

Young children do not need to immediately introduce their new buddy. Still not understanding what a date is, they may get worried: maybe this uncle will be the new dad. And they will see only one thing: a strange man takes away their beloved mother from them. Older children are able to understand that a mother should be happy not only in the family, but also outside of it.

Discussion

Single father.

08.10.2017 02:29:43, Leonty

I have a tragedy, my man left me when I was pregnant. Now my daughter is 1 year 2 months old. I don't know where to find my husband? On the street, no one is familiar with the pine. I am depressed

03.11.2016 21:42:27, Elizabeth

Not a bad article, only the numbers are a little depressing. I am 35 years old, my daughter is 12 years old from my first marriage, now she is pregnant from her second husband. It seems that she observed all the "rules", and withstood a certain period, and introduced her beautifully, and after all, they wanted a joint child, and as soon as she became pregnant she immediately became uninteresting. No, of course, I will not be hysterical, and even on emotions I do not allow the thought of abortion, but how can one find the "golden mean" here? For me, it’s better to leave right now and at least calmly bear the child, and then we’ll see. And the husband is not an end in itself, I agree that you need support and you want affection, but it’s worse than feeling like a burden for him, no. After all, there is the most important question, do we really need each other?! If you need it, then in general you can cope with all the problems, maybe I'm an idealist, but how could it be different?! And therefore, I think there is only one rule - there are no rules!

09.11.2009 10:39:10, zena-voin

Indeed, how many people have so many opinions. Simply, in my opinion, single mothers can be understood by the same single mother. Others are a little more difficult to feel the situation. I really liked the author's article expressing and not imposing his point of view.

07/27/2007 02:43:04 PM, Irina

In my opinion, a good article should contain its analysis, conclusion, versions ... and here is a set of "life stories" and 2-3 stamped advice like "Volga flows into the Caspian Sea" ... Being a single mother for 34 years, nothing from the fact that it would not have been clear to me already during pregnancy, as well as nothing that I would like to think about, I didn’t read here.
P.S. No offense!!!

05.10.2006 20:58:12, umklaidet

I don’t know. I’m reading all the articles now. Something helps me morally. I realized that I made another mistake by marrying another boyfriend. By the way, he is a single father and I hoped that he would definitely be a good father to my children .Alas ... He abandoned his child, but my attitude was cool. Often offended my son in my absence, and I found out about it late. Do not believe that every single man with a child will be a good father to your children. to connect with a single father, it takes a long, much longer time to observe his relationship with his own child.

Strange article...
Especially the statistics are depressing. Like "a divorcee with three children, don't even rock the boat" - there won't be enough men for everyone.
It always seemed to me that:
1. if a man is really interested in you, then he will take part in your child,
2. that single women with a child are "valuable" - they have already shown their ability to survive and provide for themselves and the child, they are independent, their attitude towards the child is clear, and the young one does not yet know how she will show herself ..
3. I especially like it - the second husband is always better than the first
So I myself do not lose hope for the creation of a new family and I wish you the same !!!

I agree that getting married a second time is very difficult. It is very difficult to try to reconcile your personal life separately from the child. It's hard to build something really big.
I will say one thing. If I could assume that my husband would leave me with a child, I would not give birth categorically.

I recently read that sex is a good prevention against breast cancer, and generally good for health (of course, if you exercise reasonable caution). From this I proceed.
Other people's children, as a rule, really do not need anyone. Often you don't even need your own! But, on the other hand, if a man has already been "caught", it is easier for him to accept that this woman has children than to look for someone again - verified.
And it’s really better not to introduce a child to boyfriends - it’s a pity, I realized this too late.

For some reason, I want to say that the article was written by a woman with an unsettled personal life, and deeply unsettled in her head ...
The child comes first, let mom forget about her personal life, sex after a divorce - why? Filisovsky question, damn it.
- hmm, it seems that a woman after a divorce is not 16-18 years old, in the article all the links are entirely to those who are well over 30, is it really possible to keep the youth of the soul for so long ...
- a moot point, mom is not going anywhere and she needs a joyful and contented life.
The desire to shave your legs for someone who will awaken this desire, and why shave them if you don’t need sex and you’ll be deceived anyway, and it’s better to spend the evening on the couch with a child watching TV ...
And if you walk with an overgrown macaque, then where will the desire for sex come from :))
And what is bad when a man helps a child in reading is not at all clear to me. Those. does not show attention badly, go away once my child is not interested, showed attention, also went out you have no right. But after that, who would want to continue the relationship with such a madam ... Although, apparently, this is for the reason that a woman considers her child only hers and no one, even a dear friend, has the right to even the slightest correction, let alone education .. .
The child is the author's highest priority. This is true, but most unmarried men, and many divorced ones, just don’t get involved with divorcees (I don’t like this word) precisely because they will be in a maximum of 3rd place, after the child and mother of the woman. I read this on some men's site, I didn't invent it myself :) I don't know how true it is.

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Discussion

You are the only one who tolerates him, he is grateful to you ..) not everyone will allow you to mock yourself like that ..

26.11.2012 21:46:48, as one of the options

You give him a status - a man who has a mistress. For example, in front of friends. Let him feel himself in front of his wife Man, as she knows about his problems like no other, and then she turned out to be deceived, by the same harmless husband. Maybe she was joking when she was over him, but now she has been avenged.

He drives to restaurants and gives gifts - everything is like real lovers. The game is such that you don't go crazy with the problem.

I think that it is not necessary to talk to him about this problem. He uses you for his own purposes and you use him for now, if you need it for now.

11/26/2012 9:33:22 PM, advice

I, probably, like many mothers who raise children alone without dads, from the phrase single mom becomes somehow uncomfortable. Now there are many women who have acquired this status. Some got married, gave birth to a child and were soon left without a husband. Others were left without a beloved man, after a positive pregnancy test.

Many stories, one ending. You are a single mother. One of the main axioms says - "Only a woman needs a child," therefore, when you give birth and have a husband, do not reassure yourself that this is forever. Alimony, in the future, as an argument is very unconvincing. Unfortunately, in our country the law is on the side of men. And therefore, if the ex-husband once a month transferred you a ridiculous amount in the form of alimony, no one will pursue him. He listed something. And it doesn’t matter what his child will eat, how to dress, what he will buy medicines for, and teach this baby. This is the mercantile side of the issue. But the whole world now rests on it.

Very often I heard - "Why do you breed poverty?". And I always thought that you would never get into this situation. After all, today you are a successful specialist with a high salary, who is valued and respected at work. And then the following happens in your life.

You got pregnant and went on maternity leave. And they safely forgot about you at work, and they were not going to remember in 1.5–3 years. But you come back, because you have to feed the child, pay for the garden, buy clothes and so on down the list. And you were no longer expected.

And you, with a highly paid specialist, quickly become a burden with sick leaves and a small child in your arms. Income is reduced by several times. They constantly threaten to fire you, tell you off at planning meetings. The appearance of a twitchy, worn-out mother annoys everyone. Nobody wants to associate with unsuccessful people. But, in their opinion, you are “unsuccessful”, if only because you were left alone. There is simply no one to protect you. How to survive as a single mother?

And here comes the realization that you just do not know how to live on. You grab onto any job, hack, your brain is looking for something else to do, how and where to make money. Where to get money? And very often your efforts do not give the expected increase in money. But it definitely leads to a nervous breakdown. It's good if you are stopped by the first ambulance driving away from your door. Here on the threshold appear despair, panic. And behind them is the disease, because nervous strain will make itself felt sooner or later.

And then you got sick. You can't go to the hospital or spend as much time on treatment as needed. There is no one to replace you. There is no way to just relax for a day or two. Naturally, there is no money for medicines and vitamins. And if the child is small, then there is no way to even lie down just for a couple of hours. The future of you and your child remains without any guarantee for tomorrow. Even if everything was fine before the birth of your daughter or son. You can only rely on yourself. You have no insurance, no guarantees. Fear begins to drive you into a deep depression.

This is where you should stop and start breathing evenly, deeply and calmly. Salvation from irreparable acts will be your baby or baby. Your child needs you. For him, you are a support and support. And when your child smiles at you with gratitude, pulls his arms towards you, hugs you and says, “Mom, I love you.” All fears and sorrows will recede, and you will begin to understand the real meaning of your whole life.

His successes, his first funny phrases. So he learned to sit, talk, here is the first tooth, he learned to walk and so on. But children are not always smiling and obedient. And they are not all right. And sometimes a transitional age, tantrums, whims. And you're stuck again. Always and everywhere you will be constantly haunted by questions: “What to do?”, “How to live on?”.

Raising a child alone is very difficult. And although everyone says - "God gave the child, he will help put him on his feet", but

It didn't get any easier for any of the mothers. And it's good if your parents or friends with girlfriends are able to help you. Don't turn down anyone's help. And be grateful for everything, even if it seems to you now that they are doing very little, but they help you survive now or close another gap in your budget.

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And although now society is modern, but do not forget you will always and for everyone remain a single mother, something so unacceptable to society. You will always be under the close supervision of neighbors, kindergarten teachers, other parents, teachers at school. Very often you will be discussed behind your back. How are you dressed, how is your child dressed. Don't buy into the smiles of others. They are false 90% of the time.

You will be angry at the father of the child. It's okay to be angry, but don't take your anger out on your child. A quarrel with a child will lead to even more depression, and it will only make it worse for him. Don't take your hurt out on the little man. He is definitely not to blame for this, even if outwardly he is a complete copy of his dad and in character too. This will not help you one hundred percent, and will lead to alienation of the child from you.

The child will begin to strive in search of a "good" father. And one fine day, God forbid, he will go looking for him. Therefore, it is better for the child to know who his own father is. Whether he is good or bad, he will draw his own conclusions in the future. And believe me, he will do them absolutely correctly, without your intervention.

All these problems are difficult, complex, but can be solved with time. Sometimes you have to live from hand to mouth, without new clothes, visits to solariums, fitness clubs, restaurants, cinemas.

But many new and positive things have entered our life. Your baby teaches you to live again, to see the world in a new way, from a different position.

You are given the opportunity to educate him, raise him, teach him something, give something, extend your family, etc. The opportunity to grow up, stop being an ordinary consumer, give back to the world the loan you received with interest from your parents. Many things take on a completely different value for you. It's great to be a mom and learn to give your human warmth. This is often the main realization of a woman.

You begin to perceive the world in a completely different way. Otherwise, the word “Love” sounds to you. You will learn a new real meaning of this concept. Love is the ability to give everything you have without expecting anything in return.

Letting go, even knowing that it is likely that they will not return to you. You forgive all hurtful words, sleepless nights, whims. You are learning forgiveness. The world takes on other, more saturated colors. In men, you will learn to value reliability, readiness to help. You will learn to see the real virtues of a man. And where you saw flaws before, you will see virtues.

There is a misconception that a single mother will throw herself on anyone's neck. It is quite difficult for a woman who was left alone with a child to find a mate again. Having created our own small family (me and a child), we carefully look at who to let in and who not. And very often we are not in a hurry to find a husband. After all, we already know the difference between promises, words and deeds.

Every day that passes is a small victory. We are becoming much more creative. How to make a new thing out of an old thing, how to cook a delicious dinner out of nothing. Our thought process often finds a way out of difficult situations faster than women without children. After all, we often need to be in several places at the same time, doing several things at the same time. We rarely watch TV shows and feature films, more often cartoons.

The understanding comes that an ideal figure is not a guarantee of happiness, but a guarantee of health. Now we want to look attractive not only in the eyes of men, but also of our child. We are finally growing up. Infantilism disappears, rose-colored glasses. We are learning to make serious decisions, on which the future of our beloved man now depends. There is a serious deep transformation of the personality as a whole. A lot of things now recede far into the background, and something moves forward and becomes important.