Symptoms of forgetfulness. My memory has deteriorated: why do I forget everything. Forgetfulness, absent-mindedness is normal

Hello dear readers! I forgot to call my boss and tell about an important meeting, I forgot to see my girlfriend and say important words to her, I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. Surprisingly, this happens often, however, people do not take it to heart and do not attach importance to it. The symptoms are getting worse every day, but no one goes to the doctor. Why is forgetfulness happening and why is “always forgetting everything” becoming the norm? Let's try to figure it out.

The reasons

Forgetfulness, according to doctors, is the so-called “information overload” of the human body. Nothing can be done - today's world sets its own rules of life, which we, the people, are forced to follow.

This phenomenon has a large number of reasons. In especially difficult cases, forgetfulness is attributed to a neurological disorder. First of all, they talk about Alzheimer's disease. Unfortunately, it is impossible to cure it, but there is a chance to alleviate the condition.

Patients are injected with transmitters - a special drug that makes up for an insufficient amount of a substance that helps information travel through cells.

Another reason that is quite common is dementia caused by vascular disease. This type of disease develops very quickly, so it is important to stop the symptoms immediately.

For this, there are special drugs that will support brain activity. However, it is important to distinguish a real illness from banal fatigue or worries. Do this experiment.

For example, you feel that you have forgotten the name of some thing, but as soon as you hear the name, you immediately remember it, therefore, this is only a malfunction, and not a serious illness. Contact a psychologist to avoid starting a case.

Often such a phenomenon as forgetfulness happens at a time when a person ceases to understand himself, not hearing inner thoughts, and the feeling with which he goes through life is a test that will never end.

In a difficult life situation, when a person has problems at work or in life, he wants to disconnect from reality and not think about anything - easy forgetfulness comes to the aid of the brain, when the body, thus, tries to disconnect from reality at least for a while.

This is a saving way, alas, for a short period of time.

Any negative event that we experience or experienced once causes our body to exist in a zone of discomfort and anxiety. These feelings crowd out some positive emotions and thoughts, so the brain tries to forget it. A psychological defense is being built that does not allow thoughts to penetrate the body.

The brain forgets what caused pain in a certain period of time. A person moves away from himself, but nothing changes, because the source of suffering has not disappeared anywhere. We just forgot about it.

This happens for several reasons. The first is banal fatigue and lack of sleep. When negative emotions accumulate in the body during the day, for example, a quarrel with a girlfriend and an angry boss, it is difficult to control oneself.

If this is added to lack of sleep - irritability goes to a new level. Add to this the accumulated fatigue and voila - the brain is trying to protect itself from an excess of information, forgetting elementary things.

The second reason is depression or displeasure from everyday life.

The body is under stress, as it does not feel positive emotions when getting up in the morning. Instead, he receives a portion of dissatisfaction with external circumstances, which also negatively affects the state of the entire nervous system.

Breakfast is not happy, work is not happy, and it seems that there is no point in continuing to exist on this planet.

The brain is surprised, sometimes it tries to return to its former life, but it is pointless. You have a clear installation that it will not be better. The brain begins to build up defenses and suspend its activities.

There is forgetfulness and a constant feeling that something has not been done. This will continue until you decide to return to normal life.

What to do?

Keep in mind that everything that is in our head is the unconscious, which often comes into ordinary life with the help of fragments of actions, dreams, reservations and forgetfulness. No wonder they came up with the expression "Freudian slip."

Indeed, Freud's teachings are very interesting in this regard. He claims that any action of the body, any word is not accidental.

This is our subconscious, which is trying to say something with the help of such short signs. Often we do not want to listen to him, attributing everything to banal fatigue. Freud's advice is this: every time there is a typo or slip of the tongue, write it down, and then try to put together the words you wrote down.

He says that in some cases a real story comes out, which allows you to find answers to many questions. For example, you constantly forget the keys to your own house. Dig into the past.

So, you have been living separately since the age of 19. It would seem that childhood has already been forgotten, but this problem creates some inconvenience. Rejection occurs - this feeling is very destructive, as it is difficult to own and difficult to control.

You forget the keys, which means you are trying to free your own soul from unnecessary experiences. But you only make it worse. You see a locked door, so you feel that no one in this vast world needs you. This is where the problem comes from.

The feeling of abandonment in childhood interferes with life now. The fact that you forget indicates a problem, and what exactly, you can easily analyze the cause of such manifestations. Analyze yourself to enter the unconscious, to relive memories, freeing yourself from them.

Exercises

There is a way out of every situation, just like this one. These recommendations for every day will help improve memory, tidy up your brain activity and be more successful.

  • Brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand. If you are right-handed, take the brush in your left hand (the second hemisphere is trained, the speed of thinking and memory improve) and vice versa.
  • Train yourself to keep your shopping list in your head, not on a piece of paper. Otherwise, by the age of 50 you yourself will not go to the store at all, it will be beyond your power.
  • After watching the movie, mentally scroll through it in its entirety, restoring the course of events in your head. It will take no more than 20 seconds, but the benefits are enormous!
  • Read new educational literature every day. At least 1 book per week. Total - 52 books a year and 520 books in 10 years!
  • Get a bright frame from the store into which you insert a new poem every week. Your task is to train your memory by memorizing one or two poems in seven days.
  • The dance studio will help to tidy up the body and memory. You will have to memorize the movements, which will allow the brain not to enter a state of forgetfulness. Plus, dancing relieves stress.
  • Do things gradually, so as not to cover all things at once. Rest on time and don't be afraid to put things off until another day if you feel tired.

Other ways to train your memory can be found in Sipe Roger's book. “Brain development. How to read faster, remember better and achieve bigger goals .

What is this book about

We all want to succeed, set records and influence the world, but not all of us reach our full potential. In an effort to grow and develop as a person, we look outside ourselves for answers - secret formulas, miracle cures that promise to give us instant results. But most often the answer is in ourselves - we do not know how to effectively use the capabilities of our brain.

In this book by Roger Sipe, self-improvement coach and consultant, you'll find proven techniques for accelerating learning, continuous improvement, and achieving record-breaking performance. They are fun to learn and easy to use. And although there are no magical remedies in this book, the results will seem like a real miracle to you:

- remember information three times better;
- read two, three or even four times faster;
- formulate energizing goals and achieve them;
- to be aware of and overcome mental barriers;
- manage time so that it is enough for everything really important;
- manage your energy throughout the day;
- and also understand your main purpose in life.

This book will replace several publications on the development of memory, intelligence, speed reading and energy management. Read it with a pencil in your hand, write down your thoughts and do all the exercises suggested by the author, and you will raise your results to a new level.

Recipes for cleansing the vessels of the brain

Honey and walnuts

It is necessary to grind five walnuts and mix thoroughly with one tablespoon of natural lime honey, add a pinch of crushed cinnamon and ginger, mix, place the mixture in the refrigerator for a day. Take the healing mixture should be three times a day half an hour before meals, one tablespoon.

Folk wisdom says: onions - from seven ailments. And this is no coincidence. The beneficial substances that make up this miracle product help to solve many health problems.

Japanese researchers have found another useful property of onions. It has a positive effect on the functioning of the brain. This is due to the sulfur compounds that are part of the onion.

These compounds are easily absorbed by the body and prevent premature aging of the brain.

It turned out that the product, popular all over the world, increases the susceptibility of positive emotions, and also helps to restore memory.

According to experts, it is most useful to use onions mashed with honey. It has a simply miraculous effect on the body and is especially useful for the elderly, prone to the development of sclerosis.

But even younger people should not neglect this plant. It strengthens the immune system and promotes overall health of the body.

Onion juice and honey

It is necessary to squeeze a third of a glass of onion juice, mix it with a glass of natural honey, use the healing mixture one teaspoon three times a day half an hour before meals. The healing mixture will not only effectively cleanse the vessels, but also strengthen the immune system.

natural juices

Every day, half an hour before lunch and dinner, drink half a glass of pomegranate juice (alternate with apple juice and carrot juice) - when choosing juice in a store, pay attention to the fact that the juice should be as natural as possible, or make freshly squeezed juices.

Burdock infusion

It is necessary to pour a handful (about 10 grams) of dried burdock roots with boiling water in a thermos, let it brew for 8-10 hours, then strain and put in a cold place. Take a healing infusion should be 4 tablespoons half an hour before breakfast. The course of admission is one month. 5th method: healthy foods For general healing of the body and cleansing of blood vessels, one tangerine, a handful of raisins and walnuts should be eaten daily half an hour before breakfast, after 15-20 minutes, drink a glass of water mixed with one teaspoon of honey and a slice of lemon, more After 10-15 minutes you can start breakfast.

Healthy foods

For general healing of the body and cleansing of blood vessels, you should eat one tangerine, a handful of raisins and walnuts daily half an hour before breakfast, after 15-20 minutes drink a glass of water mixed with one teaspoon of honey and a slice of lemon, after another 10-15 minutes you can start to breakfast.

Eat walnuts, seaweed, lose weight, walk and move daily and quit smoking!

And be sure to fall in love - nitric oxide is produced in the blood, which repairs damaged blood vessels, so that the brain begins to think faster.

Do you often forget some important things? Be sure to follow these simple rules and put your memory in order and life anew. Good times and good days.

If this information is not enough for you, then additionally read our articles:

How to start leading a healthy lifestyle? Understanding the Basics
How to overcome insomnia and improve sleep quality
— Daily routine as an important component of human health
— Development of motor activity: where to start
- Fighting overweight: is it possible to eat at night
Everything you need to know about personal hygiene: basic rules and regulations
— The effect of alcohol on human health
- The harm of smoking for the female body: how to get rid of

See you soon!

Having memory problems? Can't remember where you put your receipt or car keys? Well, the usual absent-mindedness is not scary. But if more serious problems arise, when not only long-term, but also short-term memory suffers, such violations prevent us from living. What could be the reason for memory loss?

Stress, nervous stress, chronic fatigue, accompanied by insomnia - the most common cause of memory problems. During sleep, the brain sorts the information received during the day, and since it does not have enough time for this process, some of this information is lost.

Deficiency of certain substances necessary for the normal functioning of the brain. For example, vitamins C, E, B6, B12, nicotinic and folic acids.

Alcohol abuse. At first, memory impairments occur episodically, losing only memories during the period of intoxication. Then the memory worsens more, there is a slowdown in the thought process and the speed of information perception.

Smoking also contributes to forgetfulness - while inhaling tobacco smoke, a spasm of blood vessels that supply blood to the brain occurs, and its intoxication occurs.

Diseases of the thyroid gland. Memory impairment may be one of the symptoms of endocrine diseases associated with a lack of production of thyroid hormones.

Inflammatory and infectious diseases of the brain and internal organs. Symptoms of impaired short-term memory disappear after the disease is cured.

Lack of blood supply to the brain. As a result of oxygen starvation of the brain, entire sections of blood vessels and organs cease to do their job. Occurs with hypertension, e, e and heart disease.

Age-related changes, such as Alzheimer's disease.

Head trauma with damage to brain tissue. Therefore, try not to ignore s and blows, and hurry to consult with a specialist.

brain tumors. They disrupt cerebral circulation, squeezing blood vessels and brain tissue.

In any case, in case of memory impairment, do not self-medicate, but seek the advice of a neurologist. Only a specialist can find the cause of memory impairment.

Each of us at least once asked ourselves the question of how intelligence and memory change with old age, is it possible to recognize the first signs of their deterioration in loved ones and what needs to be done to delay their deterioration.

Do you forget where you put the keys, can't remember why you came to the room, and the right name suddenly falls out of your memory? Any person can forget something due to a large amount of information, stress, overwork and exhaustion of the nervous system. In such a situation, distraction of attention and rare “memory lapses” for events and names are possible. But after rest, vacation, the memory of a healthy person is restored. If, after rest, you do not notice improvements or symptoms progress, this is an occasion to consult a doctor.

Most often, this disease manifests itself in older people after 60 years, but it also occurs in young people.

Can Alzheimer's risk be reduced?

The risk of Alzheimer's disease is reduced with the right lifestyle. It is worth avoiding overwork, stress, do not forget about rest, exercise, spend more time in the fresh air, keep a balanced diet.

Many believe that with retirement and reaching old age, a decrease in attention and memory in older people is a natural process. In general, the way it is, especially if no measures are taken to prevent them. Therefore, very often, even after noticing the first signs of a deterioration in memory, motor skills and attention in grandparents, their relatives are in no hurry to seek help from specialists, risking missing the symptoms of such a formidable disease as Alzheimer's disease, as a result getting to the doctor already at the later stages. the development of the disease.


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Signs of Alzheimer's disease

So, what you need to pay attention to if you have elderly relatives, or, perhaps, you yourself have already exchanged the sixth decade:

1. Reduced short-term memory. People with impaired short-term memory function find it increasingly difficult to remember some current moments. For example, turn off the water or light, and also perform actions that are mostly automated: the usual rituals of washing hands, dishes, making the bed, etc. Such a person does not remember whether he did this recently or not. But he can guess that he forgot something, for example, when he saw the lights on in the hallway or found the soap in the bathroom dry, since the ability to make long logical chains at this stage is not lost.

2. Deterioration of concentration. It becomes more and more difficult to maintain attention for a long time, especially if it is an intellectual activity. For example, focus on reading a book, or instructions for some device. In order to grasp the essence, one has to re-read several times in a row /.

It is natural that with the advent of the first two points, the following ones also come.

3. Difficulty in perceiving new information and deterioration in learning skills. We have all repeatedly observed how grandparents clumsily try to master modern technology, remember “fashionable” words. Even the acquisition of new motor skills, for example, when performing physiotherapy exercises, is difficult. In the case of Alzheimer's disease, this process becomes even more difficult and lengthy, and sometimes even impossible. Such patients are very difficult to teach something new, even simple, such as using a mobile phone. This happens both due to a decrease in memory, and due to a deterioration in concentration.

4. Loss of previously acquired skills. What used to be easy and simple is now turning into a complex and painful process. So, the patient may painfully remember how to cook an omelette for breakfast, or how to load laundry into a washing machine. He can confuse the sequence of actions, and skip some altogether.

5. Impoverishment of emotions and vocabulary. Speech becomes less rich and emotionally colored. The patient replaces complex concepts and expressions with simple ones, and replaces long sentences with short ones. At the same time, the ability to express emotions is reduced, facial expressions become poor, the face may resemble a mask. The speed of speech also decreases, and individual words completely fall out of memory. In this case, the patient may try to describe a concept or object whose name he has forgotten. For example, if we are talking about a tonometer: "Such an object with which pressure is measured." That is, he remembers the purpose of the device, but is not able to remember the word itself.

6. A very important sign is a violation of motor-spatial skills, namely, a decrease in the ability to navigate the terrain, perform some simple actions that require the participation of fine motor skills, slow down actions in pace. Patients can easily get lost even in a well-known place, do not find their floor and apartment, slowly begin to dress and undress. The process of fastening buttons, zippers is significantly lengthened. Often things are buttoned up incorrectly, or put on inside out. Having partially lost spatial perception, it is difficult for patients to determine the distance to objects, height, depth. The gait becomes uncertain, slow, and the movement is constrained.

What to do?

If you notice the above signs in yourself or in your loved ones, do not postpone a visit to the doctor. This may be a neurologist, therapist, psychiatrist or geriatrician - a specialist who deals with diseases associated with old age. The patient will be asked to undergo cognitive tests, and magnetic resonance imaging is also possible. Only after that the doctor will be able to make a final diagnosis.

Kirill Arkhangelsky, medical expert, deputy chief physician for medical affairs, SM-Clinic

As soon as you have a breakup, you should immediately cut the person out of your life.

You're done, accept it.

The first advice of a psychologist on how to forget a loved one forever will be just that. Your past reality does not exist.

Your ex relationship is dead, the person is dead. Start looking at it this way now.

Let go of the past completely.

You seem to be reborn and start from scratch.

New world, new people.

2. Absolutely no contact with former lovers

Remove any connection with a person:

  • in the Internet;
  • by phone;
  • by mail;
  • Skype and other means of communication.

3. Remove from life all psychological anchors that evoke memories of a former passion

What anchors need to be removed from life in detail:

  • common music that you spent time together;
  • gifts (either hide in the basement, or give to friends);
  • do not go to those locations and places where you had cool dates together before;
  • any forgotten things: be it clothes or a lens from a former passion that has not been thrown out before (it's time to throw it away);
  • delete shared photos and videos on your computer, phone and other media.

Follow these steps and you will get rid of restless thoughts about how to forget the person you love, but he does not have you, without any conspiracies and other nonsense.

4. Do not fall into his perception: do not think about what his head is doing

Do not fall into someone else's perception and do not think about what the former partner's head is doing!

Otherwise, you will fall into the pain of loss.

Do not be interested in the life of a past partner and do not fall into someone else's perception.

What does it mean in detail:

  1. You should not care about the relationship of the former partner and with whom he is now.
  2. It doesn't matter if your ex is suffering or not. For now, the only thing that matters is how you feel.
  3. Do not hang and do not stick on the page in social networks of the former person.
    Knowing that he is doing better will not make you feel any better.
  4. You do not get better or worse with rumors or some news about a past person.
    Absolute and complete indifference!

Implement this principle and no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to forget a person with whom you will never be together.

5. Don't blame yourself for never being together again.

In such cases, the focus of a person can only be occupied with negativity, and it is a mistake to make only yourself the culprit.

Otherwise, negative energy will accumulate in you.

It is not your fault! What happened happened.

You don't have to beat yourself up!

A fine line which needs to be remembered.

  1. It's cool that you look for your mistakes, analyze your behavior so as not to repeat your jambs. BUT: find these mistakes and don't attack and don't blame yourself!
  2. Find mistakes for yourself, so as not to repeat them in other new relationships, and not to go back to the past partner!

You find your mistakes so that you don't repeat them with a new partner and never step on the same rake again.

Remember this, and you no longer need to look for answers to questions from psychology about how to forget the person you love quickly and in a short time.

6. We learn new insights and lessons so as not to step on the same rake again

Lessons are learned through analysis.

The analysis is done with pen and paper, asking yourself as many questions as possible, and answering them in writing.

The more questions, the better.

  1. Who is to blame for the fact that you initially chose the wrong partner?
    Answer: myself!
  2. Why did this happen, how did you let it happen?
    Answer: I had no personal boundaries, I had a poor idea of ​​the person I wanted to see next to me.
  3. What kind of person do I want to see next to me, what do I allow and what not in a relationship?
    The answer indicates the exact characteristics of the personality, not the appearance.
  4. What did I understand and learn from past relationships?
  5. What mistakes should I not repeat again with another partner?

Be as sincere as possible with yourself when you write the answers to these questions.

Thus, you will solve your problems yourself and there will be no need for the advice of a psychologist on how to quickly forget a loved one and start a new life.

7. Don't be alone: ​​Know that you are always full of choice.

You have to have faith that you will have another person with even more emotional connection and chemistry.

Know that you are always in abundance of choice. You can always find a soul mate.

You should not look at this as an everyday duty and a need to get a new partner as soon as possible.

Just understand that it is foolish to keep in your head what is no longer there until your death.

Accept change and don't resist it.

Any break you have this is a time of great growth for you.

Remember this and don't worry about how to forget the person you still like.

8. Do not blame your old partner and do not hold a grudge against him, remove the bitterness

Some people like to continue texting their ex or calling from time to time even a year after the breakup.

People hold in themselves the anger and negativity of past relationships, which then manifest themselves and have an effect in the next relationship. By having the same mindset in a new relationship, all the old mistakes will be repeated over and over again.

Don't fall into this vicious repeating circle.

A fine line. Instead of falling into anger at your partner, it is better to deeply thank him for what happened!

Through hatred, you yourself will maintain an energetic connection with your former lover, cling to him and why give energy to negative thoughts in vain. Do you need it?

You can easily fall into such hatred. Get rid of it, and by doing so, you will remove the worries about how to forget the person who hurt you once.

9. After a breakup, don’t label everyone as “they are all like that,” otherwise you yourself will attract such people into your life.

Often we hear from a person after a breakup: “All men are goats” or “All women ...”.

They painfully broke up with a partner, and now they themselves are looking for evidence in everything that “all men are like that” or “all women are like that ...”

And they do it unconsciously and do not understand it.

And you know what? It will be like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You will really attract these people to you.

And also having these attitudes in your head, you yourself will unconsciously look for such negative characteristics in other people, try to look for confirmation of them.

Why do you need it?

Stop lumping everyone together, and no longer ask questions about how to forget the person who betrayed you or acted in a certain way, not living up to your expectations.

10. Realize that nothing is permanent in the world, everything comes and goes.

Look at it from the spiritual side.

  • You were born alone and you will die alone. Nothing is eternal.
  • Everything is constantly changing. And it is useless to resist change. These are the laws of the universe.
  • Do not cling to old emotions and memories.
  • Life is like a slide. You are up and down. And that's what makes it interesting.

Realizing this, you will save yourself from the dilemma of how you can forget the person you love very much and blindly.

11. You must still be open-minded to a new person, aware deep down of the fact that nothing lasts forever.

There is such a trap of the mind: "To think that the relationship will last forever." Don't live this illusion!

But at the same time, you still open up to new people after breaking up old relationships, you are not afraid to open up and expose your real self to others.

Keep opening up 100% with other people and sharing moments together.

But realize deep down that there is an end to everything.

Example. You eat delicious ice cream. You can enjoy it. Enjoy the process. But deep inside you are aware and understand that the ice cream will run out.

If you think that you will continue to eat the same ice cream non-stop for the rest of your life, you are trapped in your mind.

He leads you by the nose and plays with you.

Be aware of this. Know all about in between.

It will be useful to remind yourself of this for women who are wondering how to forget a married man whom you love and still dream of some blind hopes in relation to him.

A fine line

  • Don't forget to enjoy the process. It's like enjoying life until you die.
  • It's the same thing with relationships: enjoy them because they can end.
  • But do not deprive yourself of enjoying relationships with this knowledge.

Wise words of Osho in the video

On our site you can also to get over breakups and breakups relations.

12. When looking for a new partner, do not compare him with the old one, do not look for a replacement for him, look for and create new experiences

  1. Do not try to find the same partner that you had.
    Don't look for the same person.
  2. Don't make comparisons.
    It only spoils and destroys everything.
  3. Don't look for the same personality characteristics as your ex.
    Do everything for a new interesting experience!
  4. Do not impose the former manner and style of communication as it was with an old partner when meeting a new person.

You can also talk about attachment and love addiction in a new publication.

Remember these principles, and you will stop worrying about how to forget your loved one if you see him every day.

Example

Otherwise, for example, the guy broke up with the girl and now, when meeting a new one, he wants the new girl to behave in the same way as the former.

Then he imposes on the new girl a model of behavior that is not inherent in her.

But she behaves in a completely different way, the guy’s expectations are collapsing and this negatively affects your flirting and the process of rapprochement.

It is a mistake to see a new person as a replacement for the former.

It only makes your condition worse.

Do not try to close your pain with a new partner!

13. Review your personality traits, remind yourself of them

There is such an illusion after parting that now, allegedly, "you are not self-sufficient, because you do not have a soulmate."

It is especially found in girls who are disturbed by restless thoughts on how to forget their beloved man.

When it's all over, it's time to go back and re-evaluate your personality.

It is important to remind yourself of them!

You need to reconsider the new you that went through this whole journey with a past partner.

Continue to enjoy life, discovering and learning even more of a new you.

14. Understand that your passion, self-sufficiency and love are always with you, no one can take it away from you

Let's look at three simple steps on how to forget a loved one, and analyze the psychology of such perception.

  1. Realize that no one can take away your passion and true purpose from you.
  2. No one can take away your life, your partiality.
  3. Your self-sufficiency should never depend on externals. Whether you have a significant other or not, you are still self-sufficient.

15. Allow yourself to be with a better partner, let go of old limiting beliefs.

We attract who we are.

You must realize that you can attract the best partner.

But the paradox is that people themselves do not want to be with the best partner!

Why does this happen to people?

Because after a long relationship man taught himself: “I love my soul mate. I don't want the best for myself, I want the best for both of us."

Track this habit in yourself and get rid of it.

People cannot believe that it is possible and necessary to forget the person whom you love unrequitedly and blindly.

16. Do not look for a new partner because of revenge or in order to make the old one jealous.

  • Do not fall into the trap of your ego! Don't have these low, insignificant selfish motives.
  • It is a gross mistake to find new partners only for the purpose of asserting themselves in the eyes of the former!
  • Otherwise, by such actions you will only strengthen the thought in your mind: “She/he is the only one”.
  • And then all your selfish actions in order to arouse jealousy or out of revenge are a big reaction to a former partner.
  • Let it all go and enjoy a completely new partner, share your passion with each other.
  • Have the perception “Now your ex is a random passer-by” and there is no point in thinking about him.

Keep these principles in mind to close your questions on how to forget the person you love and see every day.

17. Don't make the following common mistakes that don't solve problems

What does NOT solve problems after a breakup:

  1. From alcohol, all sorts of substances, random connections of meaning and benefit to zero.
  2. Trying to travel or move is all trying to run away from the problem and pretend it doesn't exist. It's like a soldier was shot in the leg, and he went on a forced march to run a kilometer and pretends that everything is super with him.
  3. Remembering the negative qualities in the former person and the negative in the past relationship is another absurd piece of advice! By following it, you are still thinking about it! You will spend a lot of energy on these thoughts, the negative takes a lot of energy.
  4. To think of some other person is the most useless advice. This is tantamount to telling you not to think about the pink elephant that pops up in your head anyway. Not thinking is also an action, which is also energy-consuming.

It is better to re-read all our advice again and live in harmony. They contain everything you need to realize and what to do to forget the person you love unrequitedly, once and for all.

Simple absent-mindedness or obvious health disorder? Can we cope with our forgetfulness on our own or should we seek help from specialists?

Memory impairment can have many causes. The most difficult cases are associated with neurological disorders. “And above all with Alzheimer's disease,” says neurologist Vladimir Zakharov. - Only in the initial stage of this incurable disease can we make life easier for patients. We store their memory with transmitters, drugs that make up for the lack of acetylcholine, the substance by which information is transmitted from cell to cell. Another common cause of forgetfulness is vascular dementia. It develops rapidly, and in this case, memory helps to preserve drugs that normalize cerebral circulation.

It is necessary to distinguish these serious disorders from simple forgetfulness, which can be caused by stress, depression, or long-term traumatic experiences. And in these cases, it is quite possible to improve memory. “If, having forgotten the name of the actor, you remember it when you hear his name, then the violation is not of a systemic nature. In this case, you can turn to a psychologist,” says Vladimir Zakharov.

Psychological reasons

“Forgetfulness often occurs at the moment when a person’s connection with himself is broken, he stops hearing his inner voice, and perceives life as a difficult test,” says psychoanalyst Ksenia Korbut. “Oblivion turns out to be a saving way out, however, only for a short time.” Psychodramatic trainings, work with a psychotherapist help to clarify the relationship with oneself and with one's family history.

From the point of view of psychoanalysis

Everything that we once experienced, everything that causes us a feeling of discomfort, anxiety, fear, we displace into our unconscious. “This is how one of the methods of psychological protection works,” explains Ksenia Korbut. - “Forgetting”, we get rid of the ambivalence of our feelings, protect ourselves from negative experiences - in a word, for a while we forget about what causes mental pain. But at the same time we move away from ourselves, because the cause of our suffering remains unchanged.

"I couldn't remember how old I was"

Nikolai, 51, employee of the Ministry of Culture

“For the past few years, I keep forgetting things. For example, I need to find something in the office. But while I'm going there, I forget what I was going for. On duty, I have to conduct many negotiations with a variety of people. And often I completely forget our preliminary agreements. Some kind of sudden failure, a veil ... This happens to me more and more often, and it becomes simply unbearable. And the other day something quite out of the ordinary happened: I could not remember how old I am! All of this makes my life miserable."

Everything that is stored in our unconscious periodically erupts in a symbolic form, in the form of plot dreams, erroneous actions (slips of the tongue, slips of the tongue), memory lapses. Alexander, 32, constantly forgets or loses the keys to his apartment. He grew up in an authoritarian family, and his parents made it clear very early that he had no place in their home. From the age of 18, Alexander lives independently. It would seem that he forgot about what he experienced in childhood, and perhaps only such a strange forgetfulness worries him.

“Rejection is a strong destructive feeling, it is difficult to cope with it,” comments Ksenia Korbut. - Unconsciously forgetting the keys, Alexander is still trying to free himself from this experience. But each time, faced with a locked door, again and again he feels abandoned. Forgetting indicates the presence of a problem, and what exactly we have forgotten can tell us where to look for the cause of suffering. Psychoanalysis helps to plunge into the unconscious, to relive painful experiences and thus free oneself from them.

What to do?

Do mindfulness exercises

Buy a beautiful frame, insert a sheet with some kind of poem into it and hang it in a conspicuous place. Your goal is to memorize one or two poems a week.

Work with the body

Sign up for a dance studio: classes will help you maximize your memory and attention.

Don't try to do everything

Forgetful people often think about a hundred things at once. Let's relax and learn to shift some business to others - then it will be easier for you to stick to the main thing.

Play associations

Pairing one performance with another is a great way to remember them. Look for your memorization techniques.

Develop sensuality

The more your feelings are included during some activity, the more likely it is that it will be well remembered. Go to a perfume shop to enrich your olfactory palette, quit smoking for a better taste, and pay attention to tactile sensations.

The main victims of forgetfulness are those who forget themselves! So don't be too harsh on them. If, having forgotten about the agreement, the person again let you down and is trying to find the reason for his forgetfulness, show tolerance. Prompt, ask leading questions related to a particular situation. This is exactly what the therapist does during the session. Help your forgetful loved one train their memory: instead of repeating the same thing three times, ask him if he remembers what you just said. Such "checks" will contribute to his greater concentration.