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How not to worry about the child's assessments. Stresses due to study. Think what went wrong

Do you know why there should be estimates? They must, must (2x) show the result of your work for a certain period of time. Semester CR - the result of the work for the semester. Wed for the topic - for the month, etc.

But not always the assessment put fairly. If you know 90% of the entire material, which goes according to the school program plan - then you are not talking about. If not, and the assessment is fair (albeit "bad" for you) - then pull up, the life of this and teaches: study on mistakes, their own and others.

If you ask "adult uncle", who really think in an adult, then they will say that with the school you will be useful to a maximum of 20% of the material, but the school teaches not only knowledge (Pythagore's theorems, chemical elements of Mendeleev), she teaches life.

Once, a teacher of mathematics Jeremmi Kuunas asked the question of which each of us broke out: "And where will all these sines, cosines, integrals come in handy to me, and all the other geometry algebra? Unlike most of their colleagues, Jeremmi was not confused, and called 5 reasons why mathematics is important.

    Mathematics teaches to recognize their mistakes. And not just recognize them, but also move forward so that they still won the long-awaited victory over an insoluble task. Suppose Carl and Clara stand over the equation written on the school board. Clara is confident that the equation is decided right, and Karl knows exactly what is not. It takes an hour for which these two are changing roles: Clara believes that the equation is erroneous, and Karl grows his legs and calls Clara with an incredible stupid. Fantastic situation? But mathematics are found with such a little bit every day. Ask any teacher what to do if the task is not solved. The answer will be very simple: "Start first and try to go to another way. And most importantly, do not worry because of the mistake made, because it ultimately sent you on the right track."

    Mathematics helps to select accurate and right words. Accuracy - the politeness of all mathematicians. It is quite difficult to argue with this, because each term and the specified phenomenon has its own very clear definition. Remember how Teachers made us by heart to jar of definitions of geometric shapes or, for example, the conditions of the Pythagores theorem? In school, we had no idea where these knowledge would be able to come in handy, but let's think about it: Do we always say words nor for a second not doubting their meaning? Can you, without thinking, answer what is the world, what is happiness or what is love? Do your answers match these questions with the answers of your relatives and loved ones? And most importantly, will you be able to call something that does not have exact definition?

    Mathematics teaches to think a few steps forward. It is like to solve the mathematical task that play chess. Any incorrect, careless step can lead to disastrous consequences. How often, doing homework on algebra, did you go to a dead end due to the fact that instead of the plus put minus? Even the most tiny mistake can break all the plans and become a huge obstacle on the way to a cherished dream. And mathematician teaches us to be attentive and responsible for your own actions. Not enough, right?

    Mathematics teaches never to give up. After all, if you do not decide the task, it will definitely decide anyone else. So why not become first?

    "What I say now is falsely" - this is exactly what the famous "liar paradox" sounds, which is not exactly describes what is happening in modern science. Many theorems, rules and Axists, which were previously considered true, and now cease to work. And this means that it is not worth blindly trusted even to the most authoritative opinion as long as you have figured out everything yourself. Scientists call it "reasonable skepticism" to which mathematics teaches us so well.

Pyss. Sorry for mistakes, I'm just a khokhol.

School estimates may be an incentive for hard studies, and may cause serious children's experiences and neuroses, up to school rejection, reducing self-esteem and disappointment. The child's attitude to estimates largely depends on how parents belong to its performance. The case is aggravated if they occupy an extreme position in this question: forcing the task to the ideal species, they meet four, and even more so three or twice in the diary with harsh silence, notations or punishments and with discontent clarify: "Why not a five? You taught! "

In the upbringing of children, the motto is often promoted: "The main thing is not a victory, but participation," but when it comes to the final ratings for a quarter, in adults there are questions: "How did the top three come from? Why this time there were four, if before Five? " Sometimes parents forget about participation and see the importance only in a victorious result, depreciating the process of gaining knowledge.

In the meantime, the estimate is not the only indicator of childhood success. Humanitarian child often cannot solve mathematical tasks with an asterisk, but writes talented writings, and the one who is capable of accurate sciences may suffer literacy. Good knowledge of the subject does not always guarantee the successful surrender of the exam on it: as a result, the excitement may affect, the issue of increased complexity or subjective assessment of the teacher accepting the exam.

What if the child is worried too much due to the estimates?

First of all, to convey to it sound attitude to the estimates. Of course, studies are the main responsibility of the child at school age, and you need to try. But it is worth remembering that the Four is a worthy assessment, and it is still important that during cooking lessons a child receives knowledge that someday can come in handy. When exactly? Remember the examples from your experience: maybe one day you learned how to seek on your own initiative, and when you receive a job, the ability to quickly print turned out to be an advantage. Or once learned to school German comes in handy in the European journey. So and the child, preparing a presentation, was better understood in the computer program, learned new historical information, strained to speak in front of the audience.

Children are often trying for parents, and it is important to give them to understand that they will always be loved, regardless of school grades. If the child is very upset because of low estimates, tell me that you are ready to help him pull up. Maybe you need to go to the teacher together and consult what themes to study more. Or you offer every day to repeat one rule in the Russian language and do the exercise for this rule. Try to understand the reason why the performance is lame. Maybe the child is shy to say that it missed the topic, or cannot establish relationships with the teacher, or the fault of the disease passing. Be prepared for open conversation and help: hire a tutor, ask the teacher about additional classes on a problem subject, help themselves. Children is important to know that in a difficult situation you are ready to be with them in the same boat.

The Four of Physics or Troika in Russian does not speak badly about the identity of the child, his character, the ability to be a good friend, son or daughter to their parents. This is just one of the knowledge measurement tools. But unfortunately, this tool strongly affects children's self-esteem. Everyone loves when he is praised, and what does it feel if the teachers put in an example only excellent students? It is important to remember that the success of a child is not only success in school: hobbies and socialization are important, and for children who study on one five, communication with peers - especially sick place: excellent students are too frequensed by tasks, they are afraid to reduce the bar success and do not match Expectations. Therefore, it is important to pay attention to other parties to life. Well, when, in addition to studying there is a lesson in which a child can demonstrate its abilities: Sports, music, art school. If something is particularly good, the child easier perceives non-ideal results at school.

Rejoice with children with positive results, especially comparing them with estimates of the previous period: "What are you well done, you managed to fix the top three in Chemistry on the Four!" And be sure to inspire, set up your students on the fact that everything will turn out: often it happens that because of past failures, children expect new failures and stop believing in the best. And when parents believe in the children's forces, then the study ceases to be a race for estimates, and complex school subjects no longer seem to be unnecessary.

This happens with each. The teacher returns you a test work or a task with which it seemed to you, you coped to "excellent", and then your heart falls into the stomach. You have a bad assessment, not even average. Questions one after another finish your consciousness. How do you improve performance indicators? What will parents say? What rating will now be at the end of the year? To return to the rut and avoid this mistake in the future, you need to know how to act correctly in this situation. Start from the first point of this manual to learn how to survive a bad assessment.

Steps

Part 1

Keep calm

    Allow a panic quickly pass. When we get a bad assessment, we panic (if only for you it is not a usual thing). It seems to us that we have lost our mind, attention, our talent and strength. But this is not how things are in general. Each of us can be stupid. In fact, the mistakes that we do in our life are just doing the people we are, they teach us to correct and seek the best results next time.

    Remind yourself that one bad assessment will not destroy your entire academic career. The training career consists of many different tests and control works, and not just from those tasks and presentations that you do in the classroom. It depends on the relationships that you build with your teachers; from the influence that you provide on your friends; And most importantly - from what you learn. To judge the success of your academic career for one assessment is, it is like judge about the party's success on one who has arrived. Such judgments are far from accuracy.

    Just in case, make sure come back to the test and recalculate your balls. Make sure the teacher did not allow mistakes by counting your balls or summarizing the final rating. Remember: even Mathematics teachers allow mistakes in counting!

    • If you still detected a mistake, check again and then take time to talk to your teacher. Instead of doing focus on error - "You are mistaken in my dough, quickly change my estimate!" - Try to show more understanding. Remember that honey you attach more bees than vinegar. Try something like that: "I noticed that it was not counted here, or I do not understand something?"

  1. Carefully find out which assessments your classmates got. Probably, you will not get very upset, if you got "3" or "3 -", when everyone else received "Troika", because it means that you have been evaluated within the normal range. However, be careful when you will find out the assessments of others - they may not want to share with you or wish in return to know your result.

    • If your teacher in proportion to all the assessments, then to your result will look at the estimates of all the others. Thus, if "4 -" is the maximum test score, then it becomes the "five", and the "Troika" turns into a "four".

    Part 2

    Aid search to improve the situation

    1. Talk to your teacher about possible ways to improve the situation. Teachers adore when students who received a bad mark show the desire to learn and increase performance. It makes teachers feel successful doing the right thing, good deal. Therefore, if you come to your teacher and say something like "Hello, Julia Sergeyevna, I did not like how I showed myself on the test. Can I somehow forget about it and work on writing better work?" Your teacher will simply lose consciousness from satisfaction.

      • Even if it causes difficulties with you, you can extract much good from meeting with your teacher:
        • The teacher will explain to you the problems in which you are mistaken, and the ideas that did not understand.
        • The teacher will see what you want to learn, and can take into account this in your final assessment.
        • The teacher can give you a task for additional points.

    2. Ask for assistance from students who coped with the test better. Assist to others is nice, and that is why many students who have written work well helped those who coped worse. Just make sure you really spend time studying and work, and not for jokes and chatter. And try to choose whom you do not consider very attractive, and to whom you have no secret sympathy - we all know what will be "studying" when we are in the same room with a man-handsome or beautiful girl.

      Think about telling parents about a bad score. Although you can not do this, the conversation with my parents on this topic is still a very good idea. Your parents are worried about your successes. That is why they are worried about your bad ratings - not because they want to make you unpleasant. Remembering this, you will be easier to open up before them and hopefully get the necessary help and support.

      • Your parents can sit down and explain to you what you made a mistake; They can hire a tutor who will help you with learning; They can also agree on a meeting with your teacher (although it is unusual to do it after one bad rating), in order to find out how you can improve your performance.

    Part 3.

    Success in the following test

    1. Do efficiently, not necessarily for a long time. Many believe that learn correctly means learning for a long time. It is not always true. A targeted study with enthusiasm often wins long hours of monotonous labor.

      Record your marks and comments from hand, not on a computer or laptop. Studies have shown that the letter with the pen on paper improves your memory, unlike simple printing on the computer. This is due to the fact that writing letters and numbers activates the brain departments responsible for the motor memory. Improving motor memory means improved memory in general and memorize the information you write.

      From time to time, take a break to refresh memory. 10-minute breaks once a hour help in memorizing and mastering the material. You can spend one sixth hour to go to walk, play with a dog or call your friend and sympathize with him before returning to study.

      Make a training test in front of a real test. Training tests are an excellent solution if you can get them. They give you a good idea of \u200b\u200bthe problem area of \u200b\u200byour knowledge and about what you need to work. Practice is the path to the perfect result.

      Try not to tool. If you can do without a cramp, it is better to refuse it. She exhausts, worsens your understanding of the material and sometimes reduces your confidence in your abilities.

      Sleep off before the control. Studies have shown that every lost hour of night sleep increases the level of stress by 14%. It does not seem such a problem until you see how stressing affects your performance. So well, pour at least a few nights in front of an important control to give your body the maximum chances of success.

      Go good in the morning in front of the test. Your brain and your body require fuel in order to cope well with the control. So an excellent breakfast is an important priority that should not be overlooked. Try unsweetened porridges, wholegrain baking, yogurts and muesli, oatmeal and fresh fruits to give your body the necessary energy for excellent results.

"I got three, then I am bad!" Or "I got a twice - now I will not love me in the family!", - The frequent course of children's thoughts. And help cope with this - the task of parents.

But helping, it is very important to not harm, pick the right words. What is important to understand?

Do not focus

Often such a nervous attitude towards bad marks is the result of nervousness of the parents themselves. We do not notice how to send invisible impulses to our children. We are waiting for them that they will become the most capable and most talented, and not wanting themselves, drive them into the angle. Often it happens in families where the child's performance is constantly discussing: a guest is praised by their estimates, they ask to show a notebook or diary. Children want to get a five in order to please dad, and cry because of twos, because the mother will be sick. Therefore, if you notice that the child inadequately reacts to the mark below the five, upset, crying, does not show the diary, stop concentrated on the success of the young student. Release the situation. In the end, at school, the most important thing is not an estimate, but the knowledge gained.

Do not punish

Many parents generally make the child's assessments by the pedestal of their personal success. "My son gets fives - it means I'm a good mother." Conversely, "the child brought a twice - I do not have it enough for its development!". Such parents should review their attitude to study. The main thing is that the child is cheerful and happy and knew that his houses will understand him.

In addition, many dads and mothers decide that the best motivation is fear. In their arsenal, many punishments - excursion from the computer, tablet, the cancellation of the excursion, corner and even the belt. But all this is not effective: punishing a negligent student, you risks to instill hatred for his studies. And the performance may not be corrected at all if there are good reasons for bad marks.

Attend

So, your child came sad and drooped, with a bad mark in the diary. It is important to choose the very words that enjoy it. Try not to make caustic comments: "This is yes! Now we will be two? " Or "Well, you upset me! I expected more from you! " Speak: "Five, of course, good, but this is not the end of the world! Correct! "

Do not let in comparison with other classmates, do not start putting someone as an example: "But Petya got five! See what smart boy! ".

It is important to evaluate the success of a schoolboy, which he achieved, what problems decided: "Yes, there are mistakes! But how beautifully wrote! The handwriting clearly became better!

Remember your childhood

You were not a circular excellent student? And did you have misses? Then now - it's time to tell about it so that the child knows, parents are also not perfect. But they corrected or tried to correct, because so?


Disassemble mistakes

Behind a bad mark can be a serious reason, and it must be understood. First, the marks can be unfair: the teacher did not like the behavior of the child, and he understated the assessment. Secondly, the student himself may not assimilate the material for various reasons: tired, did not sleep, did not understand, poorly explained. Parents need to sit down and figure out this. And, of course, help stretch in the subject, and for this or work out with the child yourself, or hire a tutor or buy additional clarifying literature, or ask friends, child classmates to help in the subject. The main thing is that your schoolboy knows you are near and leave it in a difficult moment.

Set up good

Successful - does not mean an excellent student. The child is not obliged to receive fives in all subjects. The main thing is that there was an area of \u200b\u200bknowledge that he likes to which he would have stretched. And it is important that the crumbs have their hobbies and favorite classes (sports, music, painting or something else). Try to bring up a versatile, confident person, and not clogged, tortured with study, looped on your marks. Customize your child - he is good, the most beloved, and he will all work out in life!

Question to a psychologist:

Hello! I am worried about the problem associated with my nervous system, my mental state. I study in the 11th grade, I will soon pass his ege, and I do not know, in what condition to live, if I can cope with my excitement in the exam itself. I'll tell you everything from the very beginning. It all started after passing GIA. Throughout grade 9, I did not really strain, all the trial I wrote normally, at the end of the year it was 4, I solved a lot of tests, I was doing a good certificate, if you compare with previous years, when I studied very badly. For a year and a half, starting from the middle of the 8th grade, I pulled my authority. If before no one asked me anything, everyone got used to that I did not answer in the lessons that I, say, stupid, now everything has changed, I ask me how I did any task, can I show how Made and the like. I already treat me more respectfully and it is very important for me. I would not say that I was given a study at 8.9 grade so hard, just then I needed to do Gia that I did. I was engaged in school, at home.

At first we handed over mathematics, then Russian, I do not remember that I was very worried, I just thought that I already hand over the exam and it was very important to get good grades. First, the results were voiced in mathematics, I was very well upset, I received 3, I had very few points. It became a shame that I was doing, solved trial tests well, but not very much. All hope was in Russian, but in it I was sure I was sure that I would speak well. But, as it turned out, I overestimated my strength. On the day, when the results in Russian became known, my mother approached me, she stood beside me, and I sat at the computer table, my mother decided to call the teacher in order to learn my results. I was all in my attention, I was waiting for an answer. To be honest, I am very unpleasant to remember this moment, because it was then that I felt everything collapsed. In Russian, I also received 3. That is, I strived for good estimates, to be at the level of those people who did not do anything, did not work, and it turned out that I was what a stupid was, such and remained. It's just awful offensive, unpleasant. My classmate, which in all the lessons chatted, did not write writings and presentations, for the whole year she had very little them, she was constantly scolded, but she was still. As a result, the mathematics she passed on 3 and was pleased with this, but the Russian she passed on to 5. Not doing, not doing anything, she got 5. I don't know how I just looked at her eyes when she boasted her results. Well, the reason I did not write Russian was that I did not cope with the writing that constantly wrote over the 9th grade. I missed the problem that was listed in the quote. And because of this, I lost a lot of points, my test part was good, the presentation is also good, but the essay ruined me everything.

After the announcement of all the results, I very often cried, I vinila myself, I scolded myself and so on.

In addition, I also had a little brother in 2013, my mother constantly asked for help, for me it was unusual that I should spend my free time to sit on the hour with him. I used to come home, and my care was to relax, cook myself a lunch, I even get out, because I was one house until five o'clock, I felt freedom, and then, when I still studied in the 8th grade, my mother went to the decret, then by the end 8th grade Mom gave birth, and it was very hard. At night, the brother woke up, cried, I came up to shift it when she makes him Milk, sometimes I walked myself and did this mixture. In the afternoon he slept, it was impossible to go to the bathroom, because the water noise and brother could wake up, listen to music and watch movies only in headphones to go to the bathroom, it was necessary to wait for it when he gets up. In the evening, they are also not going to go much, he watched the clock in 9, and then it's impossible to noise again. I do not really know how to communicate with children, and even more so with such small. When I graduated from grade 9 and I was very upset by the results, I just stopped believing myself, I was constantly on the nerves, at any moment I could cry. And then my mother still needed help with his brother, we even quarreled on this reason, I didn't want to go into the hall and in the kitchen, because she was with my brother there was constantly what is happening so far. The only thing that has changed is now - it's not necessary to sit so much as before. He can watch cartoons, play independently, you just need to follow, so that with him everything is in order. Yes, and the quarrel is no longer there for this reason, as he is already big, I can go to the bathroom, a little noise, he does not wake up from it. But the summer, after 9 and before the 10th grade it was quite depressive for me, a constant feeling of anxiety was disturbed. I also bothered that I slowed the metabolism, I began to gain weight, I had problems with the fact that menstruation lasted from 10-15 days, which was not the norm for me.

Now I have on my nose the exam, test exams also go well, but only in Russian and social studies. When I decided entirely, I went out on both subjects about 60-70ballov, that I was enough for admission to the correspondence department. I have only problems with mathematics, I can't pass it at all, I am very afraid that I will not pass, I don't know what I will do with me and these thoughts scare me. In contrast to the 9th grade and previous years 10 and the beginning of the 11th grade is horror, terrible in our school, it turns out that most of the students are exhausted, tired, a lot of stress, lack of sleep. We give a lot of material. We share a class on the social economic and physico-mathematical group. I am in social economics and with us, unlike the physics, a lot of material, we have the right, economy, social studies, for these subjects a very strict teacher, it is very demanding, we have a lot of tests and simply no time to relax. Also in Russian with us require reviews, essays are large. On history, there is also a lot of information, but I do not rent a story, although I still need to learn it to be an assessment in the certificate. And in history even more material. Talking to teachers that we are all already tired - it is useless, they give us even more. I finished the 10th grade armed with glycine and paracetamol. I fell asleep and woke up with notebooks, I seriously, I taught in the evening and in the morning. In the afternoon - I can not learn in any way, the information simply does not climb into my head. Such a load, which is now in 10 and 11 now, I never experienced, and here there are still exams, I'm terribly afraid to pass badly. Memory refuses to work, since the beginning of the year already standings on all topics, somehow I repeat, there is almost no time for mathematics. With mathematics in general, a separate story, our teacher believes that we should prepare themselves, it will only hold us at a class of grade 11, in which there will be topics that are in the exam. I have a constant stress, you require good estimates and knowledge, and I can not give them. I'm already starting to be nervous as soon as we are talking about school somehow comes. I do not fall out in the morning and I can not sleep earlier than 11 hours. I constantly twitch, a feeling of anxiety, tears. In May, when the month has remained until the end of the 10th grade, I was sitting in the lesson and we had to have a test on social science, I just had a punishment penalty, I thought about the exams, about my result that again we need to tell a lot. I then let some tears, who, fortunately, nobody noticed. Now I can not remember anything, as soon as I sit for the lessons, then the hysteria begin is nervous. The problem with health, about this I will go soon to the doctor. I had pain in the uterus and kidney problems.

I am supported by my boyfriend and my friend, with the other I am generally familiar with 5 years old, he says that I will survive that I will end up to suffer and he believes in me. Only I do not believe in myself. The guy is also trying to support, says that he will be there and remains not so much. But all this I am not enough. I do not know how I need to rest so that my condition is less normal. Soaps about suicide scare me most if they could have been, then it is not serious and very rare. Now they are very frightened by these thoughts, and they often appear and more seriously configured.

Mom does not require me impossible, dad doesn't care, the grandmother wants, so that I finished well, I got a good certificate and passed well. He says that I have to try to suffer, and I do not know already, as I need to try, I can't more. I do not know what else I can tell. I tried to get distracted throughout the summer, but it does not work, anyway, the thought again twisted me and I break up, I think about it, nervous. The last thing I can say is that when I studied in primary grades, my teacher was shouted at me with the fact that I am doing at home more and perform tasks more than you need than she asked. After this case, I ceased to learn to her evil, I did not respond fundamentally, I was very insulting. Then I got into grade 5 and I was just like studying. Help, please, what should I do?

The psychologist Prakracanova Ekaterina Vadimovna is responsible for the question.

Hello, Christina!

I would like to start with the fact that you are well done! A truly well done! You are seriously approaching the question of study, they are preparing for exams on their own, set up for admission. All this case is accompanied by the appearance of a small little man in the family, which, of course, requires attention. And, of course, his regime makes its own adjustments to the life of the whole family. But it is not necessary to forget that he grows and, as you herself noticed, this question itself disappears slowly.

Now this situation is in many schools. Children are not just taught to some subjects, but they train to give Gia and Ege. Many fall into hospitals with one or another diagnosis (optionally nerves), because Psychosomatics works in such a way that everything that does not find a yield through emotions will find an output through the body (for example, the kidneys can say that a person often strives for the fact that he is "necessary", and nothing wants, or in the soul). Of course, you need to go to the hospital and control all the processes attentively.

"Memory refuses to work" - do not worry, memory works for you. At the right moment, she will give out everything that (of course, all that you have laid)).

Your close (guy, friend, grandmother) is absolutely right. It remains a bit and need to be patient, to bring the case to the end - to finish school and go to the institute, and then everything will turn everything, gets wrapped and becomes easier. If you look at all this situation through the prism of important and global problems, ask yourself - so it's scary ?? Through it is all. I agree that now in schools is going to horror, but what to do, the side effect of reforms, progress, etc.

At home you are not forced to be an excellent. At school too. So you demand this myself. For what? For admission to correspondence, you definitely enough. And to drive yourself for excellent marks - is it really important for you?

The teacher of the elementary classes, probably, wanted it better, but misunderstanding and position happened, "... I stopped learning her for evil, I did not fully answer ..." From the opera "called the conductor I will go on foot."

Now to the main question: we have a goal - to finish school and enroll in the institute. We confidently go to her. We have enough strength. We act in the same way as before - we go to the lessons, do homework, treat seriously. BUT

We help our body in achieving the goal. How?

We are right, good, useful eat (no starvation and strict diets);

we make small charges in the interruptions;

we arrange meditations to yourself (we find a suitable audio recording);

we often listen to the music of Relax (you can even during the preparation of homework);

taking the bathroom we add aromamasla / essential oils, which contribute to relaxation and energy and energy lifting;

we also begin to love oranges (at least their fragrance) - raises the mood;

before bedtime, we go out to breathe air on an hour with a friend / guy / grandmother and unload the head;

drink vitamins that increase immunity (we write out by the doctor);

in time go to bed.

Nothing new and supernatural! These at first glance, simple ways will help your body survive stressful time and successfully cope with the task!

But if the alarming dark thoughts do not leave you or intensify, that is, it makes sense to contact a psychologist for a full-time meeting (your school psychologist is perfect for this).

Successes to you, Christina!

Sincerely, Ekaterina Pracanova.

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