The man should be the head of the family. Male and female roles in the family. Male representation of the family

28.09.2019

The family is a unit of society in which all members carry out certain goals through the division of duties. In the family, someone must be in charge in order to solve any domestic difficulties. Women by nature are rather weak creatures. They cannot cope with some problems on their own. If the fair sex decided to become the head of the family, thereby she belittles not only the role of a man, but also his self-esteem. Once upon a time it was accepted that a woman should obey her man in everything, so the guys on a subconscious level choose the girl who is able to be obedient and accommodating as their wife.

A man, no doubt, should occupy a dominant and leading position in the family. The fact is that the representatives of the stronger sex have the least emotionality, so they are able to more soberly assess the current situation and competently make decisions to eliminate the difficulties, obstacles and problems that have arisen. They can provide for their household financially, as well as provide them with moral support.

A woman cannot be the head of the family, not only because of her weakness, but also because she is subject to the negative influence of external factors. She cannot ensure safety and make the right decisions in time in various emergency situations. A completely different task is assigned to the girl: she creates comfort and coziness in the house, raises children, improves the microclimate in relationships and provides moral support to her soulmate. If a woman tries to become a family leader, living in a marriage with a henpecked man, such a relationship is doomed from the very beginning. Although any rule, of course, has its exceptions, so it is impossible to speak about it unambiguously.

Is there equality in the family?

Some people are sure that an idyll reigns in their relationship due to the fact that husband and wife are equal in rights. In fact, equality is only an illusion. Yes, the spouses jointly discuss some problems and make important decisions together, but the responsibility still lies with someone alone. Most often, it happens that during a family council, a woman expresses her point of view to her husband, the husband either agrees with it or refutes it, and in the end, he most likely proves to his wife that he is right.

In a family, a man should be the main one, any woman wants to feel like behind a stone wall. How can I help my husband become the head of the family?

Instruction

The first thing a woman needs to know is not to take on the responsibilities of a husband. Even if you are sure that you can do better. Leave everything to the man, or he will just get used to the fact that he is not needed, and calmly shift the entire burden on you. You can not kill in a man the desire to take the initiative into his own hands.

Show your spouse that you are dependent on him. Say that you could not have done it yourself and he is doing much better. Men prefer weak and fragile women who require their protection.

Ask your husband for help on your own. It’s hard for a man to guess about your needs, and resentment and quarrels can be avoided if you simply ask a loved one for a favor. Even if the husband often forgets about promises, do not worry, men have so many things to do and thoughts in their heads. He will be grateful to a caring wife who, without unnecessary reproaches, will calmly remind him of the promised deeds.

Be sure to praise your spouse for everything he does, for the slightest success. Do not be afraid to overdo it, a man will want to reach the ideal, as his wife sees. Such regular praise stimulates the desire to do more, to comply. This is a good method to increase a man's self-esteem and give him self-confidence.

Emphasize the headship of the husband especially in public. Tell how he copes well with all matters, solves any family problems. You feel protected, next to a reliable man. You don’t need to discuss your husband’s shortcomings and mistakes with your friends, always show respect, he is the best, just because he is yours, be proud of your choice.

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 3 minutes

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In our time, the concept of "head of the family" is gradually lost in a series of changes in modern life. And the term "family" itself now has its own meaning for everyone. But the head of the family determines the family order, without which a calm and stable coexistence is impossible.

Who should become the head of the family - the spouse or the spouse? What do psychologists think about this?

A family is two (or more) people connected by common goals. And a necessary condition for the implementation of these goals is a clear division of duties and roles (as in the old joke, where the spouse is the president, the wife is the minister of finance, and the children are the people). And for order in the "country" you need comply with laws and subordination, and . In the absence of a leader in the “country”, unrest and pulling the blanket over each other begin, and if the minister of finance instead of the president takes the helm, then the laws that have been in force for a long time are replaced by ill-conceived reforms that will one day lead to the collapse of the “country”.
That is, the president must remain the president, the minister - the minister.
Extraordinary situations are always solved by the head of the family (if you do not take into account the peeling paint on the windowsill and even the broken tap). And without a leader in solving some difficult issues simply can not do. A woman, as a being, in fact, is weaker, not all issues can be resolved on her own. If she also takes on this sphere of family life, then the role of a man in the family is automatically belittled , which does not benefit his pride and family atmosphere.
The subordination of a wife to her husband is the law on which the family has been based since ancient times. A husband cannot feel like a full-fledged man if the wife puts herself as the head of the family. Usually, the marriage of a "spineless" and a strong female leader is doomed. And the man himself intuitively (as intended by nature) is looking for a wife who is ready to accept the traditional position of "the husband is the head of the family."
The leader of the family is the captain who leads the family frigate in the right direction, knows how to bypass reefs, and takes care of the safety of the entire crew. And even if the frigate, under the influence of certain factors, suddenly loses its course, it is the captain who takes him to the right pier. A woman (again, by nature) is not given such qualities as security, the ability to make the right decisions in emergency situations, etc. Her task is to maintain peace and comfort in the family, raising children and creating an environment for his spouse that will help him become an ideal captain. Of course, modern life and some circumstances force women to become captains themselves, but such a position does not bring happiness to the family. Two options for the development of such a relationship: the wife-helmsman is forced to put up with the weakness of her husband and drag him on herself, which is why she eventually gets tired and begins to look for a man with whom she can be weak. Or the wife-helmsman carries out a “raider takeover”, as a result of which the husband gradually loses his leadership position and leaves the family in which his manhood is belittled.
Fifty/fifty relationships where responsibilities are shared equally with leadership - one of the fashion trends of our time. Equality, a certain freedom and other modern "postulates" make adjustments to the cells of society, which also do not end with a "happy ending". Because in fact there can be no equality in the family - there will always be a leader . And the illusion of equality sooner or later leads to a serious eruption of the Fujiyama family, which will result in a return to the traditional “husband-head of the family” scheme, or to a final break. A ship cannot be run by two captains, a company by two directors. Responsibility is borne by one person, the second supports the decisions of the leader, is nearby as a right hand and is a reliable rear. Two captains cannot steer in the same direction - such a ship is doomed to become a Titanic.
Woman as a wise being , is able to create in the family such a microclimate that will help unleash the inner potential of a man. The main thing is to become exactly that “co-pilot” that supports you in emergency situations, and does not pull out the helm with a cry “I will drive, you are steering in the wrong direction again!”. A man needs to be trusted, even if his decisions, at first glance, seem wrong. Stopping a galloping horse or flying into a burning hut is very modern. A woman wants to be irreplaceable, strong, able to solve any problem. . But then it makes sense to complain and suffer - “he wipes his pants on the couch while I plow at three jobs” or “How do you want to be weak and not pull everything on yourself!”?

The head of the family (from time immemorial) is a man. But the wife's wisdom is in the ability to influence his decisions according to the scheme "he is the head, she is the neck." A smart wife, even if she knows how to handle a drill and earn three times more than her husband, will never show it. because a weak woman, a man is ready to protect, protect and pick up in his arms if it "falls". And it’s very difficult to feel like a real man next to a strong woman - she provides for herself, you don’t need to feel sorry for her, she changes a pierced tire herself and doesn’t cook dinner, because she has no time. A man has no opportunity to show his masculinity. And to become the head of such a family means to recognize oneself as spineless.

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Mendelssohn's waltz sounded, champagne ran out, all the guests went home and the newly-made husband and wife were left alone. But the trouble is, having counted the donated money for the wedding, the spouses cannot decide where to put them: buy a fur coat for the winter or make a down payment on a mortgage, because living with parents is not an option. A month has passed, and the spouses still cannot agree. Nobody gives in. And parents say: “You are now a family, solve your problems yourself!” But the parents are right! Now they decide for themselves what their life will be like together. Who will decide where to invest money, and who will have the final say in everyday matters. All this is up to the two of them to decide. So that there are no conflicts in the first days of married life, you need to decide who will be the head of the family?
Recently, social foundations and family relations have changed somewhat, equating women in rights with men. The very concept of “head of the family” has also changed. Let's take a look at what has changed and what has remained the same.

How to determine who is the head of the family

Just 100 years ago, this issue was not discussed. Now it depends on his decision how successful and long family life will be. From time immemorial, the head of the family has been a man. And here it is better to give preference to her husband, agreeing with social stereotypes. But what about the fact that today, more and more often, the main thing in the family is the one who solves all problems, establishes a stable order of things and is responsible for the peaceful existence of his own household.

When the husband is the head of seven, this means that the family is patriarchy.
When a woman is the head of the family, it means that the family is matriarchy.
So what is the right model of family relations?

What are the duties of a husband and wife

How to constructively solve problems without pulling the blanket of the head of the family over yourself? To do this, you need to know the duties of the spouses that have developed from time immemorial, which cannot be changed no matter what century it is in the yard.

The family needs a clear division of responsibilities and roles. The woman believes that all the worries and difficulties of family life are on her, underestimating the authority of the man and arguing that the wife is the main one in the family! The husband, quite often, claims to be the leader solely because he is a man and does not want to listen to a woman. Who is the head of the family? How to determine?

A successful marriage is rare these days. Every person dreams of a happy marriage, but not everyone knows how to achieve this. Happiness in marriage does not come by itself. It needs to be worked on. And increasingly, the question of headship stands in the way.

There cannot be two leaders in a family. There will always be someone who will make decisions and take responsibility. But the ability to yield does not mean that you show weakness. On the contrary, it is indicative of wisdom.

The spouses must agree - the main man or woman in the family, otherwise the blanket will be constantly pulled over. Despite the fact that much in family life depends on the man, the psychological climate in the house is mainly determined by the woman.

The following mini-test will help you find out the leader in the family. Circle the appropriate letter or two (if you are mutual on this question) on the next quiz. Calculate which is more "m" or "g". So you will find out who is more important in your family: husband or wife.

	Functions of the head of the family		Duties family heads
m/f	control and implementation of clear rules	m/f	*Making money* . Who is the guarantor of the material well-being of his family. And also who is responsible for the safety and accumulation of family investments.
m/f	strategic and tactical allocation of costs	m/f	*Making Important Decisions* . Who takes the initiative in making all fundamentally important decisions.
m/f	resolving difficult issues and taking responsibility for the consequences	m/f	*Security* . Who is responsible for every member of the family? Who eliminates intra-family conflicts.
m/f	force resolution of the problem	m/f	*Personal example* . Who sets an example to follow by their behavior. Both spouses or just one?
m/f	representative functions	M =
M =		F =
F =		F =

A father is a model of masculinity for a son, and for a daughter, a standard by which she will choose a life partner in the future.
The behavior of the mother is the key to a successful relationship between the son and his wife in the future, and for the daughter the standard of raising her children.

Now remember your father and mother, and the parents of your companion. Is it so? Do you copy the patterns adopted in childhood in your family.

What laws of distribution of constructive leadership in the family exist

Relationships between men and women are influenced by certain laws that must be followed if they want to have a happy family.

The husband is the head of the family . Not formally, but in fact. He takes on the function of a breadwinner and breadwinner. And the more responsibilities he has, the better. When the father is the head of the family, he feels his responsibility - that he is irreplaceable, hope and support. As soon as a woman understands and agrees with the statement that a man is the head of the family, she will be able to build a harmonious relationship. If the clear leader is the husband, then the role of the “grey eminence” is given to the wife. She doesn't mind small things and quietly manages him when making important decisions, thus not undermining his authority.

The wife is the head of the family . Sometimes a woman seizes the place of a leader in the family, doing it ahead of her and openly. Earning on an equal footing with her husband or more, raising children and looking after the household, a woman tries to bypass and suppress her partner, capturing his area of family responsibilities. A strong man, in turn, resists the onslaught. As a result, conflict situations arise, sometimes unresolvable. Once the wife gladly gives up leadership, she can be a woman and the husband a man.

Two leaders in the family . If both spouses are leaders by nature, how to determine who is in charge in the family? Husband or wife? Such a family breaks up at the stage of formation. Any topic becomes a subject of controversy, the adoption of a simple decision - the cause of a serious conflict and long resentment, and a discrepancy of opinions - a scandal. The way out is in compromise and concession.

Equality in the family is the fashion trend of our time. But, a priori, this cannot be. There will always be a leader. Equality refers to a partnership in which responsibilities, skills and abilities are shared equally. Each member of the family is a master in his own area. When making joint decisions, the spouses express their personal point of view to each other. Only one is responsible, the other supports the decision. Respecting each other's rights, they are ready to help their soul mate.

The attitude of psychologists to this issue

When is a woman the head of the family? Then, when she builds relationships. When her wisdom is revealed in the ability to influence the husband's decisions: he is the head, she is the neck. The aphorism “A man and a dog are masters in the yard, and a woman and a cat are in the house” has not lost its main meaning today. The mother is the head of the family - this is the internal climate, spiritual comfort.

When is the man the head of the family? When a woman lets him.

Women are increasingly complaining that they cannot find a real man. But they simply cannot allow men to take over them. After all, a modern woman is used to deciding everything herself and cannot allow herself to be commanded.

But sometimes our parents' script interferes with our lives. If in the husband’s family, the mother was responsible for everything, the children always went to the mother for help and did not decide anything on their own without her consent, then in his family, such a man will give leadership to his wife without hesitation.

But women from patriarchal families will not hesitate to agree with the leadership of their spouse.

What if a woman is used to deciding everything for herself all her life, used to being a captain, not an assistant. Very often, such women marry late, because they cannot find "the same Man." But the problem is not that there are no worthy men nearby, but that (as mentioned above) they simply cannot allow someone to dominate them. Psychologists believe that in this case, the woman should soften, start to yield to the man and gradually delegate some leadership responsibilities to her partner. Only in this way can she feel like a real woman. But do not be upset and think that now you are subordinate. It's time to turn on female wisdom, remembering that a woman is "the neck that rules the head." If a woman remembers this more often and skillfully applies it, this will help to avoid numerous conflicts in family life. And the marriage will be long and happy. When handing over the post of “head of the family”, practical recommendations will help the spouse:

Agree that the head of the family is the husband . Take it as an axiom. Transfer not only responsibility, but also the right to make decisions. Show not by word, but by deed that you respect his opinion.
Stop being annoyed and nag your spouse. He also has a head, and the ability to draw conclusions. You can suggest something, give several options for solving the problem, but let him decide what to choose.
Particularly industrious to reduce their activities or quit your job. From this begins trust in a man, and it is easier to transfer leadership to her husband. Unless, of course, it is necessary and does not significantly affect your family budget.
Have patience . He, too, is given a difficult male role, as well as a female role for you. After all, a woman is also not an ideal hostess every day, so why do we demand from a man that he be perfect.
Praise your husband for his strength and masculinity . He will appreciate it and will carry his wife in his arms. The ability to praise your spouse in time, notice his achievements, strengthen his self-confidence and increase productivity.

The real head of the family is the two who managed to agree.

Psychologists advise, even at the stage of a romantic relationship, to understand and agree who in the future family will make the final decision and be responsible for it. The wedding tradition “who bites more than the pie” is like an instruction from the ancestors that it is still important to decide on the head of the family hearth.

Today, young couples are increasingly getting married because: “All my friends are married and I want to, I’m no worse”, “I have to go”, “What will others say”, “All the younger brothers and sisters are already married” etc. And they completely forget about how they will live in this marriage later.

No one has to make all the decisions. Often in families such correct phrases are heard:

“So, you take care of the children, I provide financial support” or
“Issues of the family budget are regulated by you: where to spend, how much to save, where to invest, because. you are more competent/competent” or
“I hire workers for repairs, I also control them, but you do the planning and interior design, I trust your taste.”

The main thing is that these phrases should not be the beginning of a conflict. It is important that both spouses come to a compromise, speak out loud all the responsibilities and agree. So that there is no such thing as “my mother gave more money for the wedding, it means to me and decide where to spend it.”

Proper distribution of responsibilities will build a harmonious climate within the family. Delegation of responsibilities, in the adoption of certain issues, will save you from conflict situations.

Family - this is not a place for the realization of leadership ambitions, this is a place where all family members feel safe and calm, where everyone respects each other's opinions . Family - this is a place where children come for advice in personal relationships in their mother, and for male support to their father .

The attitude of the church to this issue

Who should be the head of the family? In Christianity, the answer is clear and simple: husband.

The Christian headship of a husband is perceived as a duty to take care of, think about each member of the family, maintain well-being and peace in the family.

The church takes the position that the wife is subject to her husband, just as the church is to God. At the same time, the husband must also love his wife, and if necessary, then sacrifice for her, just as Christ sacrificed himself for the sake of faith. For the sake of the Church, Christ went to torment. Is the head of the family capable of doing this for the sake of his wife? Many men still need to grow up to this level.

The position of the church is that there can be no equality in the family. The inequality that God created in the relationship between a man and a woman is not at all humiliating. No matter what century is in the yard, you cannot shift the duty of a woman to give birth to children on her husband.

The recipe for a harmonious life is very simple: love and respect each other.

The legal position of leadership in the family

It is quite interesting how the law protects family foundations. Russian law provides that property acquired during marriage is jointly acquired and both spouses have equal rights to it, regardless of who was at home and took care of the children, and who went to work every day by 8 in the morning. That is, in order for the spouse to fulfill her main duties - the birth of a child and his upbringing, the law protects her from possible disputes when a division of property is required. After all, she also cared about the well-being of the family, like her husband. She made sure that everyone was full and happy, and her husband, so that there was something to buy food.

In some cases, during a divorce, a woman is even entitled to alimony if she was dependent on her husband for the period of marriage.

Julia Vysotskaya on why a woman is the main one in the family.

The family is the cell of society. And the fact that a woman has to bear everything on herself when her husband walks, drinks and rowdy, is solely to blame for him - the spouse. And the fact that there is no harmony in the family, the children are scattered over seven grandmas, and having matured they cannot start normal relations, the mother is to blame, who did not fulfill her direct duties.

Psychologist, 16 years of practical experience. Olga works in the following areas: Gestalt therapy, Psychodrama, Systemic family therapy, Short-term psychodynamic psychotherapy.

The wedding march has died down, the candy-bouquet period is over, the boat of love is dangling in the sea of everyday life and is about to break into everyday life. Someone needs to take control of the family ship, make the voyage successful and stable. It's time to decide who is in charge in the family.

A hundred years ago, the question of who is more important - a man or a woman, was not brought up for discussion. A man is the head of the family, breadwinner and breadwinner. A woman is the keeper of the hearth, a loving wife and mother, obeying her husband in everything. Time passes, social foundations and the psychology of family relations are changing. Now the statement “the husband is the head of the family” is no longer an axiom.

Duties of the head of the family

The traditional responsibilities of the husband of earning money and providing security are increasingly being taken over by women. But the functions of the head are much wider:

establishing clear rules and monitoring their compliance;
the ability to make a single decision and bear responsibility for it;
tactical and strategic spending planning;
the ability to forcefully resolve the problem;
representative functions.

Most of the male duties disgust a woman due to her innate worldview, she is closer to maintaining comfort. The wife, creating a favorable atmosphere, supports the status of her husband as the head of the clan. The wisdom of a woman, without coming to the fore, to guide a man in useful endeavors, gradually influencing decisions, and here it is already difficult to understand who is more important in the family.

With a formal leader, a “grey eminence” appears. Many men are satisfied with this state of affairs. Retaining the status of a leader, he is freed from solving most problems. The wife also receives an additional opportunity for self-realization. A smart woman will not change the wheel of a car on her own, hammer nails and carry a bag of potatoes, even if she is very good at it.

The strong sex is psychologically easier next to a weak woman who needs his protection. The situation with the “head of the family” looks approximately the same. It is better for the wife to suggest a solution to the problem or push at the right time, thereby maintaining the “status quo” of the man, without raising the question of who is more important in the family with an edge.

The wife is more important

A family in which the spouse clearly plays the leading role is, in most cases, doomed to failure. This is not related to the life experience of a woman, her ability to make decisions in difficult situations. The failure is associated with the prevailing stereotypes in society and the innate needs of a man to be a leader, protector, earner. Having not received the opportunity for self-realization at home, a man, consciously or not, will strive to fulfill his destiny in another cell of society.

Two leaders in the family

If both spouses are leaders by nature, who is the main husband or wife in the family? Such a unit of society can disintegrate even at the stage of formation. The process of psychological "grinding" is very difficult. The adoption of any decision can cause a serious conflict. The only way out is to compromise every time. Over time, the true leader will still appear.

Sometimes you hear about couples where there is no head of the family, everything is decided together. The leader is still there, or he will appear in the near future. A family ship cannot be steered by two captains. There must always be someone capable of making a decision and taking responsibility.

In the family, as in any team, the range of responsibilities is distributed. It would be better if everyone defined their own duties to their liking. A man has a house, a car, a dacha, a job. A woman has children, a kitchen, shopping.

Wife or husband: who is in charge in the family

Wife or husband: who is more important in the family? This is a rhetorical question that most young people face, and how long and successful the voyage of the family ship will depend on its solution. When choosing a captain, it is better to agree with social stereotypes and give preference to a man. The husband should be the head of the family, and whether formal or not, each family decides in its own way.

“Who is the boss in the house - me or cockroaches?” - this is how a man usually jokes, whom his wife is trying to drive under the heel.

And really: who should be the head of the family? In theory, the husband: well, it’s been accepted, like, from time immemorial. But lately, their wives have been trying to take over men and command over all households. Well, let's talk about this.

The family is like a state

Let's imagine that the family is a small state, and its president has not yet been elected. It is clear that the “people” are children and pets. The wife and husband claim the head. We need an undeniable leader, because without elections, anarchy, collapse and confusion will begin.

It's dangerous to make a mistake! A bad president can mess up with reforms that will lead to a family crisis. The “people”, as in an ordinary state, are as always ignorant and naive: whoever beckons with a yummy, whoever takes a sip, is the president.

Sometimes "influential countries" interfere in family politics - mother-in-law with father-in-law, mother-in-law with father-in-law and other relatives. As practice shows, this intervention most often threatens with war. Therefore, it is better to stay away from their advice, or to remain neutral.

So who should be the head of the family in the end - the husband or the wife? In a young family, while “influential countries” dictate the rules, at first nothing is clear - everyone pulls the blanket over himself. But with the birth of children and obtaining separate housing, you must definitely decide.

How to Choose the Right President

In a small family, there cannot be many “ministers”, so a man or a woman takes on this role. Well, or they are distributed in half: according to talents and abilities, which is much more correct. But how to do it?

Who is responsible for the financial flow

Most often it is a man and occasionally a woman, but still, let's take the husband as a basis. Without the main breadwinner, the family will be in need.

What can happen if he is infringed on his rights in some way or even kicked out of the family:

From distrust, he will make stash and often lie. What else is left to do? He must feel like a man.

If there is control over his earnings, then he will look for a way to earn extra money, which he will also keep silent about.

If he is expelled from the family, then he can even hide from alimony - and look for his fistula then, getting out of poverty.

Particularly greedy women drive their husbands to three jobs, which can negatively affect the health of the husband. And the result can be deplorable, including hitting your pocket.

1 point in favor of the main earner.

Who is in charge of the economy

Not always the earner is free to dispose of the money he has earned. Most often it happens that the husband brings home a salary, and the wife rakes everything down to the penny. It’s good if she leaves her husband for pocket money.

But the point is not who has the money. It is important that they be in the hands of those who can competently manage the family budget. And this means:

timely pays all current bills (loans, communal, garden, school);
calculates the amount of food until the next salary;
keeps track of those who have a real need for something in the family (for example, in clothes);
if possible, postpones for a rainy day;

That is, the “Minister of Economy” cannot be a spender in any way: give the last money for knick-knacks and grab unnecessary loans. Such a spendthrift should be immediately and categorically dismissed.

Another 1 point to a competent economist.

Who is in charge of "foreign policy"

He is also a diplomat, he is also a peacemaker, he is also the main one in relations with people outside the family. Of course, there will be one of the spouses who does not like or is even afraid to “resolve” something, so he blames everything on the other.

And there's a lot to be done:

resolve conflicts with relatives;
solve problems with all documents;
attend parent meetings;
negotiate with officials

Nerves are dangling, so the character must be strong. Plus, a clearly defined voice and at least a basic knowledge of the laws. But at the same time, it is unsuitable for a “diplomat” to be noisy and bazaar, courtesy, intelligence and “inner core” are welcomed.

Another 1 point is awarded to the one who is responsible for solving problems in the family.

Who is in charge of culture

No, it's not just holidays and family vacation planning, it's much more serious. The upbringing of children and the inner peace in the family is what is important. A kind attitude towards each household member and smoothing out “sharp corners” in case of conflicts can only be entrusted to a wise person.

By the way, these are not always women. If a woman in the family is hysterical and stupid, then the man takes on this role. Unless, of course, living with a bitch, his nerves can withstand. But sometimes husbands do not leave the family precisely because they feel sorry for the children. They will not be given to him in court, and being brought up by a hysterical woman, they will not receive a proper upbringing.

But if not everything is so difficult, then there are other pleasant chores:

joint vacation with family and decoration of holidays;
reading books at night to children and competent answers to little "why";
instilling family values and traditions.

Another 1 point to someone who can be responsible for the culture in the family.

Who is in charge of the household

This means external comfort: to make the house clean, warm, beautiful, and delicious on the table. Well, of course, this will be done by a woman. Unless, of course, she changed roles with a man: she is all at work, and he is on the farm and raises children himself.

Not all families, however, are impeccable cleanliness and pedants. Maybe it’s even good somewhere: people of creativity, as a rule, don’t pay much attention to external gloss, but that’s their business. If there is something to eat in the house, and cockroaches do not run around the house in droves, it’s already good. The main thing for them is peace in the family.

Another 1 point for someone who wears a rag in the house and cooks deliciously.

Counting points

And whoever tries to shout down the other that he is zero without a wand without him, then if the score is not in his favor, he is clearly disingenuous. The receipt of money, their distribution, solving problems inside and outside the house is only within the power of the head.

Sometimes you can watch strange families where a child is elected "president". More precisely, a small usurper king. Grandparents knock down to please the child, his own father lisps with him, and his mother tearfully begs to eat a spoonful of porridge. And this overgrown toddler spits in the face of this porridge to his "retinue".

The child grows up and dictates its conditions:

He fits into the family budget, managing it: what sweets are required instead of dinner and where to buy him a more fashionable jacket.

Beats in hysterics if something did not go according to his plan and demands an apology and complete obedience to him.

He decides for himself - who enters the house, where to move the furniture, where to spend the weekend and whether he can swear.

From the outside, it looks disgusting and few people want to communicate with such families. But even that is not scary! Such a child, when he grows up, will become aggressive towards the world around him and people. After all, no one will lisp with him, as was customary in his family!

But it happens even more absurdly when some animal is made the head of the house: a cat or a dog. You can still forgive this weakness for a lonely old woman, but it’s terrible when it happens in large families: “The little girl wants to sleep on the bed, well, let her sleep, we make a bed for ourselves on the floor.” Madhouse!

Be wise even if the "president" is you

Do you want respect for your family from others? Then do not try to tell anyone that you dominate your husband. Society despises henpecked men and female commanders. The attitude from others will be appropriate: the family of a rag and a market aunt.

The woman is the good spirit of the family. In a wise woman, the husband himself will not notice how she cunningly and cleverly guides him, but at the same time it is he who wears the crown. Therefore, even if you got the most points, then make sure that your family is respected. And that's another point in your favor.