Reminders, advice, recommendations. Age and psychological characteristics of boys and girls in senior preschool age

19.05.2019

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Why does nature need male and female? The answer to this question was proposed in his theory of asynchronous evolution of sexes by Doctor of Biological Sciences, geneticist V.A. Geodakyan. He proceeded from the position that two opposing tendencies always struggle in evolution. The first is the need to preserve what has already been created, to consolidate those traits that are beneficial, to pass them on by inheritance, to make descendants as similar as possible to their parents. And the second is the need for progress, further search and change, diversity of descendants, among which one will someday appear exactly the one who will give evolution a new beneficial direction and ensure adaptation to new conditions, will expand the habitat. So, the struggle between the conservative and the progressive, the stable and the changeable, the old, the reliable and the new, the unknown, the risky. These two tendencies are embodied in the division of living beings into male and female individuals, which gives tangible benefits in the implementation of both tendencies. At the same time, the female sex retains in its genetic memory all the most valuable acquisitions of evolution, and its goal is to prevent their changes as much as possible, while the male sex, on the contrary, easily loses the old and acquires a new one: some of these acquisitions may be useful in the future or already in the present, especially at the moment of occurrence of some extreme conditions. That is, the female gender is focused on survival, and the male gender is focused on progress.

Therefore, nature "protects" the female sex, and the male is not so "sorry" for her. On males, all the "novelties" of evolution are worked out. The spread of congenital traits in males is much greater. Women seem to be more the same. Men have more beneficial and harmful mutations (genetic abnormalities). . But every living being, throughout its life, is influenced by the external environment, the conditions in which it is located, and under their influence it also changes to some extent. It turns out that nature has given female individuals a wider opportunity to change under the influence of external conditions. In boys, external similarity is determined precisely by innate properties and much less by the influence of the external environment. With all the changes in the environment, including social ones, males suffer more. It is these differences that determine the high predisposition of males to search behavior. This is vitally important for them, this is the way out that nature has given them. And their brain is larger, more advanced in development, but as a retribution - and less reliable, more vulnerable. The search behavior is also determined by the attraction of males (including men) to the development of new spaces, their great intelligence in difficult situations, the tendency to search for non-traditional new solutions, and risky ventures.

Girls and are born more mature for 3-4 weeks, and by the period of puberty, this difference reaches about two years. Then, in elementary school, boys are, as it were, younger than girls in terms of their biological age by a whole year. Boys start walking 2-3 months later, start talking 4-6 months later, complications are more often observed at the birth of boys than at the birth of girls. Women have more miscarriages if they are carrying boys. According to various data, for every 100 conceptions of girls, there are 120-180 conceptions of boys. Often the death of the unborn boy occurs before the woman knows that she is pregnant. Statistics show that among children 7-15 years old, injuries in boys occur almost 2 times more often than in girls. Difficult children are also more often boys. Boys, even very young ones, are more often scolded, less often picked up. In relation to them, the speech of adults often contains only direct instructions (go away, bring, give, do, stop ...), and in a conversation even with one-year-old girls, older ones often mention sensory states (like, love, sad, cheerful ... ).

The physiological side of perception is also somewhat different in boys and girls. It is shown that up to 8 years of age, the hearing acuity of boys is on average higher than that of girls, but girls are more sensitive to noise. In the first and second grades, girls have higher skin sensitivity, i.e. they are more irritated by bodily discomfort and they are more responsive to touch, stroking. Girls' games are more often based on near vision: they lay out their "wealth" in front of them - dolls, rags - and play in a limited space, a small corner is enough for them. Boys' games are more often based on far vision: they run after each other, throw objects at the target, etc. and use all the space provided to them. This cannot but affect the features of the development of the visual system.

In addition, it is shown that boys, unlike girls, require more space for their full mental development than girls. If the space is small in the horizontal plane, then they master the vertical one: they climb stairs, climb onto a closet.

Let's ask ourselves a question: if boys have so many different deviations, if there are many losers and difficult-to-educate among them, then why are almost all outstanding scientists, artists, writers, doctors, composers, designers - men? And why did so many great people do poorly in school? Probably, among the poor boys there are many who will never be able to realize what nature has given them. Why?
Apparently, because we do not know how to teach boys. The teaching strategy in both kindergarten and school is most often designed for girls. Both girls and boys are taught more often by women: at home - mother and grandmother, in kindergarten - a teacher, in elementary school - a teacher, and only in middle and high school occasionally there are subject teachers - men.

If we compare the drawings of children, then the following pattern will come to light: boys often draw equipment (tanks, cars, planes ...), their drawings are filled with action, movement, everything around is moving, running, making noise. And girls draw people (most often princesses), including themselves.

And how do boys and girls respond in the classroom in kindergarten or school? The boy looks at the desk, to the side or in front of him, and, if he knows the answer, answers confidently, and the girl looks in the face of the tutor or teacher and, answering, looks in their eyes for confirmation of the correctness of her answer, and only after the nod of the adult continues more confidently . And in matters of children, the same line can be traced. Boys often ask adults questions for the sake of obtaining some specific information (What is our next lesson?), and girls to establish contact with an adult (Will you still come to us?). That is, boys (and men) are more focused on information, and girls (and women) are more focused on relationships between people.

Experts note that the time required to enter the lesson - the period of development - in children depends on gender. Girls usually after the start of classes quickly gain the optimal level of performance. Teachers see this by the eyes turned to them and build the lesson in such a way that the most difficult part of the material falls on the peak of performance. But they are guided by girls. The boys, on the other hand, swing for a long time and rarely look at the teacher. But now they have reached the peak of performance. And the girls, on the contrary, have already begun to get tired. The teacher immediately noticed this, because. he has established good contact with the girls - he always sees their faces turned to him. He begins to relieve the load, the lesson moves into another phase. And the boys should be given the key material for the lesson right now. But the most important thing has already been given, but they missed it or did not understand it, because at the right time, the level of their performance, the ability to learn difficult knowledge were low.

Girls in preschool and primary school age usually have better developed speech, they are often physically stronger than boys, their biological age (even at the same so-called "passport" age) is higher. They push the boys back physically and “beat” them verbally. But their answers are more monotonous, and, apparently, their thinking is more uniform. Among boys there are more variants of individuality, they think outside the box and are interesting, but their inner world is often hidden from us, because they rarely reveal it in words. They are silent, and it seems to us that they do not think, are not looking for solutions, but the search is on, it is more interesting and richer than we can imagine.

It has been established that men perform search activities better, put forward new ideas, they work better if it is necessary to solve a fundamentally new task, but the requirements for quality, thoroughness, accuracy of execution or design are not high. And at school, a boy can find a new non-standard solution to a mathematical problem, but make a mistake in the calculations and get a deuce as a result.

Women usually perform better tasks no longer new, typical, stereotyped, but when the requirements for thoroughness, elaboration of details, and the performing part of the task are high. And that's exactly what the school wants. First, it explains how to solve the problem. That is, the search stage is excluded, it is taken over by an adult, and children are required to solve typical problems that were discussed in the lesson. Minimum requirements for research and innovation, maximum - for the thoroughness of execution. This is good for girls, but the boy needs a little more explanation and push him to find the principle of the solution. By this, of course, we will not teach him accurate and consistent writing in a notebook, but only in this way will he understand, and therefore remember the principle of decision: what he has reached with his mind is usually not forgotten. Psychologists believe that women (and girls) are superior to men in speech tasks. Even initially non-speech tasks they can solve in a speech way. Men (and boys) outperform women in video-spatial skills because the performance of spatial-visual tasks requires a search.

Under unfavorable conditions, for example, when our pedagogical influences do not correspond to the individual characteristics of the child's psyche, girls adopt an unusual strategy for solving problems imposed by adults, and to a certain extent, better or worse, cope with the tasks. Boys in such a situation try to get out of the control of an adult, not to obey him, because. It is extremely difficult for a boy to adapt to activities that are unusual for him.

And what are the features of the emotional sphere of boys and girls? A survey of educators and teachers regarding the individual characteristics of the behavioral characteristics of children makes it possible to assume that boys are usually more excitable, irritable, restless, impatient, unrestrained, intolerant, unsure of themselves and even more aggressive than girls. Boys briefly, but vividly and selectively react to an emotional factor, while in girls in a situation of activity that evokes emotions, overall activity increases sharply, and the emotional tone of the cerebral cortex increases. The brain of girls, as it were, is preparing to respond to any trouble, keeping all brain structures in a state of readiness in order to respond at any second to the impact that came from any direction. Apparently, this achieves the maximum focus of the female body on survival. Men, on the other hand, usually quickly relieve emotional stress and switch to productive activities instead of experiences.

Children's sexuality. Children's interest, being adequately satisfied, does not acquire an unhealthy coloration and often disappears altogether. The bottom line is that, when telling the child the truth, convey it not all, but the part that he, to the best of his understanding, is able to adequately perceive. Psychosexual development of children of three to five years: the first level (3-4 years) is “geographical” (where he was born), the second level (4 years) is “making children” (children imagine that they are molded from different parts), the third level (4 - 5 years) - "transitional" (the understanding comes that in order to "turn out" a child, mom and dad are needed).

Sexual differentiation of preschool children. By the age of 3-4, the child learns his gender. Self-awareness develops and - as an important part of it - awareness of oneself as a boy, a man or as a girl, a woman. A special place in the psychology of gender identification is occupied by the formation of the image of the body. A special place in the psychology of gender identification is occupied by the formation of the image of the body. There is a connection between onanism and a lack of tenderness and affection. There is also a connection between masturbation, especially in girls, and compulsion to eat .

Gender conflict. Note: gender - psychological or social sex, as opposed to biological sex. Gender reflects a person's ideas about himself and is associated with external manifestations (sex-role behavior - for example, the manner of dressing, walking, talking). Certain symptoms of pre-homosexuality easy to recognize, usually these signs appear early enough in a child's life.

1. A persistent desire or insistence that he or she belongs to the other sex.

2. Boys have a tendency to dress up or imitate women's outfits. In girls, insistence on wearing only typically masculine clothing.

3. Explicit preference for cross-sex roles in role-playing games or insistence on presenting yourself in a different field.

4. Intense desire to participate in the games and activities of the opposite sex.

5 A pronounced preference for activities characteristic of the other sex.

The formation of most signs of cross-gender behavior occurs in preschool age, between two and four years. In most children experiencing gender conflict, the symptoms of early homosexual development may be less noticeable - unwillingness to play with other boys, fear of rough and active games, shyness when changing clothes in the presence of other men (but not in the presence of women), discomfort when communicating with the father and lack of attachment to him and possibly increased attachment to mother.

During infancy, both boys and girls are emotionally connected to their mother. In the language of psychodynamic therapy, the mother is the first object of love. She satisfies all the primary needs of her children. Girls continue to develop their feminine identity through their relationship with their mother. But boys have an additional developmental challenge to stop identifying with their mother and reorient themselves towards identification with their father, they must separate from their mother and cultivate differences from their primary love object in order to become a heterosexual male.

However, the father of the boy must also perform his function. He is required to reflect and maintain the masculinity of his son. He can play contact games with his son, games that are fundamentally different from those he would play with his daughter. He can help his son learn to throw and catch the ball. She can show him how to plug a hole in the fence or take his son with him to the shower, where the boy will easily notice that his dad has the same masculine body as he does.

A significant, outstanding (i.e. strong and supportive) father destroys this mother-son "blissful symbiosis", which he instinctively perceives as something unhealthy. If a father wants his son to grow up to be heterosexual, he must break the close bond between mother and son that is acceptable in infancy but later no longer in the best interests of the boy. Thus, the father should become a role model, showing the son that it is possible to maintain a loving relationship with a woman, his mother, and at the same time maintain independence. In this sense, the father should be a healthy buffer between mother and son. Parents should be aware that their children may have their first romantic feelings at preschool age and try to be respectful towards them.

Too often a bad marriage contributes to a son's problems. A boy's ideas about masculinity suffer if his mother speaks negatively about men. If father and mother are fighting each other, one way to settle scores is to emotionally abandon their son. Without realizing it, mothers can have too much control over their sons' lives. In some cases, this behavior may be due to necessity - for example, when the son needs attention because of his illness. Many studies have found an increased correlation between homosexuality in adulthood and health problems in early childhood.

Sometimes mothers overprotect their sons to meet their own needs, because they did not find emotional closeness in marriage. Single mothers and women with abusive or emotionally distant husbands are at particular risk of falling into a dependent relationship with their son.

What is castration anxiety? The boy develops fantasies about being his mother's "man": the same as dad, even better - instead of dad. The boy is afraid that his powerful father will find out about his thoughts and fantasies and will take revenge. In an attempt to protect themselves from castration anxiety and feelings of phallic inferiority, boys often use aggression. In this regard, the role of the father is especially important. The father helps the boy regulate aggressive behavior. If the Oedipus conflict is not internally resolved, then the man must constantly prove (to everyone, and first of all, to himself) that he is the most important, the most courageous! The resolution of the Oedipal conflict leads the child to personal growth, to going beyond the family and to the possibility of mastering a wider social environment (peer society).

Three stages of development of boys that you need to know. The first stage (0 - 6 years) is the age during which the boy is most closely connected with his mother. This is "her" boy, even though the father can play a very big role in the child's life. The purpose of education during this period is to convey to the boy great love and a sense of security, to "charge" him for life as a great and exciting journey. The second stage (6 - 14 years) - the boy wants to learn to be a man and looks more closely at his father, his interests and actions. (Although the mother remains a very close person, and the world around her is becoming more and more interesting.) The purpose of education during this period is to increase the level of knowledge of the child and develop his abilities, not forgetting about kindness and openness. It is at this age that your son comes to feel the joy and comfort of being a boy. The third stage (14 - 18 years) - the boy needs the participation of a male mentor if he wants to be fully prepared for adulthood. Mom and dad are a little behind the scenes. The purpose of education at this stage is to teach skills, instill a sense of responsibility and self-respect, actively involving them in adulthood.

Single mothers must be careful not to develop an overly close relationship with their sons.
A single mother must make extra efforts to reaffirm her son's masculinity.
She can find a father figure. An older brother, grandfather or other man can become a substitute for an absent father.

Significant father. In order for a boy to separate himself from his mother and identify himself with his father, he must perceive his father as a person worthy of emulation.

Father's activities:

Fight-fuss with the son.
A joint trip to the shower, to the bath with his father.
Joint trips with my son are very useful.
A father should be the last person to straighten his son's blanket before going to bed.
Physical housework.

Here are three things parents should do for their sons:

Father: take an active part in his life.

Mother: step aside and moderate activity.

Both parents: introduce other boys into the son's social circle.

The main conflict underlying lesbianism , is the girl's unconscious rejection of her femininity, feminine identity. Women who become lesbians usually decide on a subconscious level that being a woman is undesirable or unsafe. Sometimes it is caused by sexual abuse by a man, which the girl experienced at an early age. More often, such an unconscious decision is due to the fact that the mother represents a weak or negative object for identification for the girl.

A task game for parents: on a piece of drawing paper, make a collage from magazines on the topics: “My girl” and “My boy”.

References.

1. Galina Shepemeteva. Love your daughter and admire your son.

2. V.D. Eremeeva and T.P. Khrizman. Psychological characteristics of boys and girls.

3. J. Nicolosi, L.E. Nicolosi. Prevention of homosexuality. Guide for parents.

The psychological characteristics of the male sex, albeit in an undeveloped form, are revealed already from an early age. As the child develops, they become more and more distinct. In each specific case, upbringing can contribute to their identification and development, or, on the contrary, smooth them out; at the same time, individual resistance to such a smoothing influence is different: some boys, despite any influences from others, demonstrate typical male features, while others are amenable to these influences, and their behavior becomes less contrasting in comparison with the behavior of their peers. The relative nature of sexual psychological characteristics should also be taken into account: universal human traits, qualities, and properties are wider and completely cover specific sexual characteristics; therefore, we can talk about the predominance of any of them in males or females, and this predominance implies, firstly, a greater frequency of a property in representatives of a certain sex and, secondly, its greater severity in the presence of such a property in both sexes.

According to M.A. Galaguzova, boys develop both physically and psychologically at a somewhat slower pace than girls. It is known that they begin to speak on average 2-4 months later than girls, later they also develop many concepts related to relationships between people; when they start school, they tend to be less prepared than girls. Boys are slower and more difficult to develop such qualities as responsibility, conscientiousness, diligence; even with proper upbringing, it is on average more difficult to develop these qualities in males.

It is characteristic that girls, for example, feel more at ease with boys than boys with girls. At any age, female representatives are more quarrelsome, turn to authorities in determining their position, in case of any difficulties they are more inclined to adhere to established norms of behavior. Girls at school are easier to get to do any assignments. Apparently, therefore, teachers (mostly women) are more willing to give instructions to girls and underestimate the ability of boys to carry out such assignments. And often completely surprising and unexpected for them is the ability of boys to take the matter seriously, to show activity and independence; it is characteristic that the latter is often found precisely in extracurricular activities - for example, on a hike where the class goes. It is here that it turns out that boys can be serious, businesslike, and active, and in this situation, it is clearly more productive than girls. This is partly due to the fact that school activities themselves are closer in nature to the usual activities of girls at home than boys, and to the fact that the latter are always prone to more unexpected and out-of-the-ordinary cases, which girls, on the contrary, are often alarmed.

If young men in communication are guided mainly by their peers, then girls in a significant part of them - by older male representatives (students, military personnel, etc.). As notes when asked, "What age friend would you prefer?" - young men prefer peers (up to 80% of answers), less often older (up to 20%), and very rarely - younger. For girls, peers are also in the first place (up to 50 - 60%), but they very often prefer older ones (up to 40 - 50%) and do not choose anyone younger than themselves. At the same time, it is females who are inclined to patronage activities, they are more willing to instruct, take care of younger children, care for them, etc.

The interests and inclinations of the male representatives are often directed towards relatively distant objects and phenomena, sometimes far from what could be included in the direct duties of a boy, teenager, youth. Hence, a more pronounced tendency in the male sex to be distracted by extraneous matters, to do things other than what is directly required. If the focus of a girl, starting from an early age, is a person and the sphere of his immediate being - the relationship between people, surrounding objects, then the attention of boys is attracted to a much greater extent by distant objects and phenomena. Associated with this are girls' better knowledge of themselves, their greater attention to their appearance and to the peculiarities of the appearance and behavior of those around them, greater interest in the inner world, and greater sensitivity to the feelings and experiences of a person. It is no coincidence that girls are 3-4 times more likely than boys to keep a diary.

Lisina M.I. believes that differences in interests and inclinations determine some important advantages of the male sex, a greater breadth of thinking, a broader outlook, "a better ability to compare distant objects and phenomena, greater objectivity of generalization, and at the same time important disadvantages - less everyday adaptability, a worse understanding of the necessary in comparison with an understanding of the possible.

There are noticeable differences in the perception of time and space. Female representatives are more attracted to what is located directly next to a person - the house, the environment, the immediate environment, the people with whom one has to communicate, i.e. everything directly interconnected; representatives of the male sex, regardless of the immediate need, from everyday affairs, are often interested in objects and phenomena remote, not connected in any way. The attention of the female representatives is not distributed so widely, but within the limits of what is perceived, everything is reflected in the minds more carefully and in detail. Therefore, in an unfamiliar environment (new terrain, new route, etc.), boys, adolescents, young men are more confident than their peers. If you want to know how to get or drive somewhere, where this or that object is, etc., it is better to ask the boys: their explanations are always more useful, and often more sensible than the explanations of adults.

However, females often feel more confident and are more active in social situations. If the object, the area, the subject as a whole is sufficiently known to both boys and girls, then the latter know it better. It is no coincidence that, on average, they write better summaries and essays: they have more coherence and descriptiveness, more attention to detail, although not more fantasy. In the perception of the flow of time itself, female representatives are inferior to males, which, however, is not always noticeable due to their more responsible, on average, attitude to their duties.

Characterized by greater riskiness, "sweeping" behavior, greater mobility and restlessness of boys, adolescents, youths in comparison with their peers. True, this often peacefully coexists with the greater inertia of some of the male representatives in everyday life, in family affairs. Apparently, the latter is connected with the peculiarities of upbringing and attitude to these matters. As Averin V.A. rightly notes, men, unlike women, whose whole life is loaded with constant painstaking work, it has always been common for men to abruptly replace hyperactive activity with passive pastime, the danger of which is especially great in our days. "We note, however, that many women and would be happy to have a rest, but there is no time, and men have the opportunity to afford such a rest.

All these features of the psychology of boys, adolescents, young men in various situations determine significant differences in their behavior in comparison with their peers. The lower maturity of boys in comparison with girls is especially clearly manifested in the lower grades. They are more distracted from the lessons, and their thoughts often wander far from what they should be doing. If girls have to be required to do their homework, then boys have to be forced to do it. Girls are, on average, more accurate, diligent, conscientious, and more efficient. Even if, in general, a boy thinks no worse, but better than a girl, it is more difficult to make him think in a lesson than a girl. Boys' restlessness, their lesser ability to endure a static load is manifested in their more frequent violation of discipline in the lesson, in more noisy behavior during breaks. Less attention to himself and everyday activities finds expression in the fact that it is much more difficult for a boy to teach him to keep his workplace in order, and when he comes from the street, neatly fold his clothes and put his shoes on. Boys pay much less attention to their clothes than girls, except in those cases when the features of the offered clothes somehow affect their ideas about how a boy (as opposed to a girl) should dress - there can be a strong protest here, and the fact that clothes are dirty or torn is of less interest to them and affects them less than girls.

Psychological differences between boys and girls are clearly expressed as the causes of academic failure. As Nikolskaya I. M. notes, among the reasons for the failure of girls in all classes, a larger percentage is occupied by poor health (i.e., the reason is objective and valid), while the failure associated with gaps in the skills of educational work, with a negative attitude towards learning, with a low level of upbringing, in boys it is observed more often than in girls, and at all ages. In general, a complex of negative attitudes towards learning, disorganization, lack of system and lack of discipline is the cause of failure in boys about twice as often as in girls. It is no coincidence that, on average (in many countries), boys predominate among underachieving students.

At the same time, in the primary grades, the main difficulty in teaching boys is precisely their immature attitude to learning: they do not feel responsible, they worry little or do not worry at all because of poor grades and dissatisfaction of the teacher and parents, they forget what they are given, or do not give it values, and parents have to learn about homework for them. In fact, the boys here manifest themselves as children of a younger age. After all, it is known, no matter how smart and capable a small child is, you cannot demand much from him simply because of his age immaturity, but in fact in grades I-III, children of different ages sit at the same desk: on average, boys are younger than girls by a year - one and a half, although this difference is not in calendar age.

Along with this, the boys also lack proper labor skills, and the qualities necessary for its successful implementation are not developed: perseverance, perseverance, patience, diligence, diligence, accuracy. Any kind of mental activity is difficult for them if it requires a conscious manifestation of activity, efforts on oneself. At the same time, it is interesting that they are more inclined to overestimate any success than girls: if something works out, the eyes are ready to declare that it is easy and simple, the same thing that does not work out seems to them too difficult and complicated: in this lack of criticality. Boys are more likely than girls to experience mood swings - from excessive self-confidence to the loss of this confidence, although in general, in comparison with girls, they tend to overestimate themselves. In the case of a wrong upbringing, this can be combined in the most illegal way with a sense of superiority towards girls; this feeling is characteristic of the least mature males, those who themselves are far from the norms of behavior of their sex.

In educational activities, differences in the interests and inclinations of male and female representatives are fully manifested. In general, the circle of interests of boys is wider than that of girls. Boys have an advantage in knowledge of something special, rarer, special, but they are inferior to girls in knowledge of simpler and more common objects and phenomena. Boys usually have a wider vocabulary, especially at the expense of more distant subjects and more general concepts. Boys' speech is dominated by words that convey actions, while girls (and women in general) are more prone to subject-evaluative speech. Among those who do well in mathematics, there are more boys than girls; among those who do well in literature and foreign languages, there are more girls than boys. Apparently, the very nature of the subjects of the humanitarian plan is more in line with the inclinations and nature of the thinking of girls, while the clear, more schematic and abstract nature of the subjects of the physical and mathematical cycle is more in line with the inclinations and nature of the thinking of boys. In their free time, boys are more inclined to go in for sports, devote time to outdoor games, while girls are more inclined to read, play music, etc. Boys tend to collect collections of something in general more than girls, but the success of this activity can be almost the same: girls are helped out by greater accuracy, boys - by better systematicity.

There are no significant differences in the attitude of boys and girls towards comrades and teachers. In the lower grades, both for those and for others, the greatest authority is the teacher. In adolescence, the opinion of comrades and intra-class relationships become increasingly important. At the same time, girls are more inclined to make critical statements about teachers and comrades, to complain about something, but this is more of a single reaction to a particular event, is rarely generalized, and generally does not reflect a negative attitude towards school-wide and intraclass affairs. On the contrary, boys are less inclined to evaluate any events and their statements are accompanied by a lesser emotional reaction. Nevertheless, in a number of cases it is boys who can develop a rather stable system of negative attitudes towards school.

A significant shortcoming of schoolchildren of both sexes is the inability to organize joint activities. This is partly due to the gender-indifferent character of the teaching and upbringing process, which undoubtedly affects the quality of both teaching and upbringing. Apparently, the possibilities of extracurricular work should be used more fully to develop the skills of joint activities of schoolchildren of both sexes. Another reason for the inability of schoolchildren of both sexes to organize joint activities is their wary attitude towards each other, usually initiated by adults. finds the right paths, since they are not prepared for this increase in mutual interest by previous education. As a result, many young men and women enter adulthood with rather vague ideas about the nature of the socially useful division of duties between men and women, with the inability to organize joint activities with representatives of the opposite sex, and experience great difficulties in communicating with them.

The upbringing of boys at school is, in general, a more difficult task for teachers, not only because among the latter the absolute majority are women, but also in connection with the psychological characteristics of the male sex indicated above. In general, it can be said that the school is currently coping worse with the education of males than the education of women. It is no coincidence that boys are on average inferior to their peers in academic performance, among them bad habits (smoking, drinking alcohol, swearing) are more common, and they commit offenses more often. Therefore, knowledge of psychological gender characteristics and taking them into account in practical activities is necessary for everyone who is interested in the full-fledged education of the younger generation. And the difficulties associated with the upbringing of male schoolchildren can in no way justify the shortcomings that exist here.

Thus, upbringing contributes to the identification and development of communication and relationships: some boys, despite any influences of others, demonstrate typical male traits, while others are amenable to these influences, and their behavior becomes less contrasting in comparison with the behavior of their peers. In general, it can be said that the school is currently coping worse with the education of males than the education of women. The big disadvantage is that at this age there is an inability to organize joint activities, but the solution to this problem mainly depends on the class teacher or teacher who can properly organize joint activities.

Why does nature need male and female

And really, why? After all, once upon a time, plants and the simplest animals did not have this: “he” and “she”. But at a certain stage of evolution, it suddenly turned out that the division of living beings of the same species into male and female organisms is very beneficial. Why?

The answer to this question was proposed in his theory of asynchronous evolution of the sexes by the doctor of biological sciences, geneticist V. A. Geodakyan. He proceeded from the position that two opposing tendencies always struggle in evolution. The first one is the need to preserve what has already been created, to consolidate those traits that are beneficial, to pass them on by inheritance, to make descendants as similar as possible to their parents . And the second one is the need for progress, further search and change , the diversity of descendants, among which one will someday appear who will give evolution a new profitable direction and ensure adaptation to new conditions, will expand the habitat. So, the struggle between the conservative and the progressive, the stable and the changeable, the old, the reliable and the new, the unknown, the risky.

These two tendencies are embodied in the division of living beings into male and female individuals, which gives tangible benefits in the implementation of both tendencies. At the same time, the female sex retains in its genetic memory all the most valuable acquisitions of evolution, and its goal is to prevent their changes as much as possible, while the male sex, on the contrary, easily loses the old and acquires a new one: some of these acquisitions may be useful in the future or already in the present, especially at the moment of occurrence of some extreme conditions. That is the female gender focuses on survival, while the male gender focuses on progress.

So, men by genotype (complex of congenital traits) have a much greater diversity than women. But every living being, throughout its life, is influenced by the external environment, the conditions in which it is located, and under their influence it also changes to some extent. For example, the weight of an animal depends not only on the innate properties of the constitution, but also on nutrition, the presence of stress, the need to lead a mobile or sedentary lifestyle. A set of signs of an organism, formed taking into account the influence of the external environment, is called the phenotype.

It turned out that there are also significant differences between male and female. So, observing pairs of identical twins (their genotype is the same), they noticed that even in the case when the twins were separated from childhood and lived in different conditions, the similarity in male pairs was much higher than in female ones. On the contrary, if the twins were fraternal (they have different genotypes, and the influences of the environment are almost the same), then greater similarity is observed in female pairs. Why? Turns out, nature gave females a wider opportunity to change under the influence of external conditions. Therefore, even with the same genotype, a woman can, for example, lose weight or gain weight over a wider range, therefore identical twin girls (one genotype) under different living conditions can differ quite noticeably (different phenotype), and under the same conditions even fraternal twins (different genotype) can become similar in many ways (similar phenotypes). In boys, external similarity is determined precisely by innate properties and much less by the influence of the external environment.

Thus, with a sharp change in living conditions to which a given species of animals is not genotypically adapted, female individuals can adapt due to phenotypic variability, preserving the entire set of hereditary information - genotypes. For example, with a sharp cold snap, even in individuals "not prone to fullness", the layer of subcutaneous fat can significantly increase. That is, female individuals can leave the zone of discomfort or even death in the zone of comparative comfort and survival (they have better adapted to the cold, they become warm, although they continue to live in the same cold conditions). And male individuals with the same genotype cannot change so quickly and strongly (get away from the cold by changing the phenotype). They only have to die.

With all the changes in the environment, including social ones, males suffer more. But they still have a way out: find another habitat where it would be warmer, or invent a fur coat. The female sex does not need to strain so much, they have already adapted.

It is these differences that determine high predisposition of males to search behavior. This is vitally important for them, this is the way out that nature has given them. And their brain is larger, more advanced in development, but as a retribution - and less reliable, more vulnerable. Search behavior is determined by and the attraction of males (including men) to the development of new spaces, their great intelligence in difficult situations, the tendency to search for unconventional new solutions, to risky ventures.

All evolutionary progressive features are more pronounced in males. If we, following V. A. Geodakyan, trace the dynamics of the duration of different periods of life in animals (for example, primates) located lower or higher on the evolutionary ladder, we will notice that the period of childhood increases in higher forms of animals. So, for lemurs, it is only 2-3 years, for monkeys of the old world - 7 years, for great apes - 8-12 years, and for humans - about 20 years. That is, the lengthening of the period of childhood is a progressive sign, and it is more pronounced in males: in boys, childhood lasts longer than in girls.

Girls and are born more mature for 3-4 weeks, and by the period of puberty, this difference reaches about two years. Then, in elementary school, boys are, as it were, younger than girls in terms of their biological age by a whole year. So we got in this conversation about the origins of the differences between the male and female sexes to such conclusions that are already important for educators, parents, and teachers.

So, we know that boys start walking 2-3 months later, they start talking 4-6 months later, complications are more often observed at the birth of boys than at the birth of girls. Women have more miscarriages if they are carrying boys. According to various data, for every 100 conceptions of girls, there are 120-180 conceptions of boys. Often the death of the unborn boy occurs before the woman knows that she is pregnant. Statistics show that among children 7-15 years old, injuries in boys occur almost 2 times more often than in girls. Difficult children are also more often boys. Boys, even very young ones, are more often scolded, less often picked up. In relation to them, the speech of adults often contains only direct instructions (go away, bring, give, do, stop ...), and in a conversation even with one-year-old girls, older ones often mention sensory states (like, love, sad, cheerful ... ).

In addition, it is shown that boys, unlike girls, require more space than girls for their full mental development. If the space is small in the horizontal plane, then they master the vertical one: they climb stairs, climb onto a closet. If you ask children to draw a plan of the surroundings of their house, then the boys in the drawings reflect a larger space, fit a larger area, more streets, courtyards, houses. And do we know how to use or at least understand and take into account these differences when raising children of different sexes?

Raising a boy, raising a girl

Apparently because we don't know how to teach boys. The teaching strategy in both kindergarten and school is most often designed for girls. Both girls and boys are taught more often by women: at home - mother and grandmother, in kindergarten - a teacher ("a mustachioed nanny" is, unfortunately, an unrealizable dream almost everywhere), in elementary school - a teacher, and only in middle and high schools occasional male subject teachers appear. Isn't it too late? Boys and girls have already turned into boys and girls, and all the hidden preparatory work for this difficult transformation has taken place without the participation of men. Can a woman raise a real man? Unlikely. Do you know why? She has a different type of brain and a different type of thinking.

Let's imagine the drawings of children, because features of thinking are clearly manifested precisely in children's drawings. Here the children drew on the theme "space". Before us is one of the drawings. Here is this one: all nozzles and nozzles are carefully drawn, next to it is an astronaut. He stands with his back, but there are many different sensors on his back. Without a doubt, this is a drawing of a boy. And here is another drawing: this one is drawn schematically, next to it is the astronaut - the face, and on the face and eyes with cilia, and cheeks, and lips - everything is carefully drawn. This, of course, was drawn by a girl. Generally boys often draw equipment (tanks, cars, planes...), their drawings are filled with action, movement, everything around is moving, running, making noise. And girls draw people (most often princesses), including themselves.

Let's compare the real drawings of the children of the preparatory group of the kindergarten: a boy and a girl. The theme is the same "after the snowfall". All the boys in the group, except for one, drew harvesting equipment, and the girls drew themselves jumping over snowdrifts.

Fig.1. Boy Zhenya, 6 years old. A typical drawing by a boy of this age on the theme "after a snowfall".

Rice. 2. Olesya, 6 years old. The drawings of girls on the same topic ("after a snowfall") look something like this. Girls usually place themselves in the center.

If you ask children to draw a road to kindergarten, then boys often draw transport or a diagram, and girls draw themselves with their mother by the hand. And even if a girl draws a bus, then she herself looks out of the window: with cilia, cheeks and bows.

And how do boys and girls respond in the classroom in kindergarten or school? The boy looks at the desk, to the side or in front of him, and, if he knows the answer, answers confidently, and the girl looks in the face of the tutor or teacher and, answering, looks in their eyes for confirmation of the correctness of her answer, and only after the nod of the adult continues more confidently . And in matters of children, the same line can be traced. Boys often ask adults questions for the sake of obtaining some specific information (What is our next lesson?), and girls to establish contact with an adult (Will you still come to us?). That is boys (and men) are more information-oriented, while girls (and women) are more relationship-oriented.

Experts point out that the time required to enter the lesson - the period of development - in children depends on gender. Girls usually after the start of classes quickly gain the optimal level of performance. Teachers see this by the eyes turned to them and build the lesson in such a way that the most difficult part of the material falls on the peak of performance. But they are guided by girls. The boys are swinging for a long time and rarely look at teachers. But now they have reached the peak of performance. And the girls, on the contrary, have already begun to get tired. The teacher immediately noticed this, because. he has established good contact with the girls - he always sees their faces turned to him. He begins to relieve the load, the lesson moves into another phase. And the boys should be given the key material for the lesson right now. But the most important thing has already been given, but they missed it or did not understand it, because at the right time, the level of their performance, the ability to learn difficult knowledge were low. The lesson is over. But was it designed for boys, for the peculiarities of their physiological and psychological functions? Unfortunately no.

If a group of children is asked a question, for example, about the origin of man (this is a study by the Moscow art teacher N. L. Kulchinskaya), then the girls come forward and, interrupting each other, say that man descended from apes. The boys are silent. Then they tried to take the girls away and ask the same question only to the boys. Silence first,

and then fireworks of versions: from a monkey, from a "cell of a human rib", flew in from space, etc. Why is this happening?

In the gymnasium, the psychologist (N. A. Gudkova) gave the children of the first grade a number of test mathematical problems with an increasing level of difficulty. One additional condition was added to each task. When graphs of the success of the solution were drawn up for each of the tasks separately for boys and girls, the result was somewhat puzzling. In girls, as expected, with increasing difficulty, the number of solved problems decreased and the schedule gradually decreased. Boys, on the other hand, were unable to solve several problems of medium difficulty, but coped much better with subsequent more complex problems. What's the matter?

We carefully solved everything ourselves, and it turned out that typos were made in several problems: one of the conditions that had already been encountered in previous problems was omitted. That is, these problems had no solution, more precisely, they had many solutions. It was these problems that the boys could not solve or gave one of the possible solutions. But what about the girls? And they didn’t even notice the typo and continued to solve problems according to the previously given template.

The same children were asked in class what bricks could be used for. The first answer lay on the surface - of course, to build a house. Then the girls raised their hands and it began ... You can build a "garage", "and also a fence", "and also a barn" out of bricks... Finally, the topic of construction has been exhausted. The boy raises his hand: "You can put a brick in a bucket when mom salts mushrooms - for gravity." A new version. Again, a forest of girls' hands and a variety of suggestions on where you can use a brick as a load. Once again they exhausted the topic, and again the boy: "Bricks can be laid over a fire so that the grass does not catch fire." The girls again pick up this version and give different recipes for saving from a fire with the help of bricks. And again the boys: "You can put a board on a brick, and you get a swing", "You can throw them like projectiles", etc.

Of course, this does not mean that no girl will ever come up with a new idea, but the trend here is very clear.

Determined that men perform search activities better, put forward new ideas, they work better if it is necessary to solve a fundamentally new problem, but the requirements for quality, thoroughness, accuracy of execution or design of it are not high. And at school, a boy can find a new non-standard solution to a mathematical problem, but make a mistake in the calculations and get a deuce as a result.

Women usually perform better tasks no longer new, typical, stereotyped, but when the requirements for thoroughness, elaboration of details, and the performing part of the task are high. And that's exactly what the school wants. First, it explains how to solve the problem. That is, the search stage is excluded, it is taken over by an adult, and children are required to solve typical problems that were discussed in the lesson. Minimum requirements for research and innovation, maximum - for the thoroughness of execution. It's good for girls as well the boy needs a little underexplaining and pushing him to find the principle of the solution. By this, of course, we will not teach him accurate and consistent writing in a notebook, but only in this way will he understand, and therefore remember the principle of decision: what he has reached with his mind is usually not forgotten.

Let's turn to history. V. A. Geodakyan, already familiar to us, recalls that knitting was invented in Italy in the 13th century by men, and for several centuries it was a purely masculine affair. Then women began to master knitting and brought the process to such perfection that men could no longer compete with them and retreated. Now knitting is a purely feminine thing. And so it was in everything. First, the profession was mastered by men, and then women brought it to the heights of perfection.

In any activity that requires a search, a fresh, non-standard solution, men are ahead. And where the highest performing skills are needed, women are in the lead, or at least not inferior to men. Thus, there are more composers among men, and among good performers there are no fewer women; there are more inventors among men, and both are innovators. Previously, the profession of a cook was a male one. It was they, men, who were looking for new components, ratios, invented recipes, wrote cookbooks, and women cooks perfectly cook according to these recipes. Men are not interested in doing the same thing day after day, such work does not correspond to the peculiarities of the organization of their brain and psyche. That is why men, for example, experience great difficulties when working on an assembly line.

Psychologists believe that women (and girls) outperform men in speech tasks. Even initially non-speech tasks they can solve in a speech way. Men (and boys) outperform women in video-spatial skills, because the performance of spatial-visual tasks requires a search. Special studies have shown that in boys the specialization of the right hemisphere of the brain in relation to spatial functions, spatio-temporal orientation, and hence the best organization of those types of activities where spatial thinking is necessary, already exists at the age of six, while girls do not even have it by the age of six. thirteen.

Let's take an example of solving geometric problems. Geometry is the science of relationships and spatial forms.

Boys more often solve a geometric problem using geometric, spatial methods: they mentally rotate the compared figures in space and superimpose one on top of the other.

Girls and women, including usually a teacher of geometry, designate all angles and sides with letters and then act with letter symbols and with learned templates-theorems. Actually, they practically do not use geometric methods. But at school, the principle "do as I do" applies, and the teacher demands from the boy a speech strategy unusual for him to solve initially non-verbal, spatial problems. But geometry is a science for men.

Teachers of higher educational institutions know that it is for female students that descriptive geometry is a stumbling block. The same can be felt when teaching mathematics in high school: girls are easier to cope with algebra (counting, manipulations with numbers and formulas), and boys with geometry (spatial thinking, mental manipulations with geometric shapes).

So, speech is better developed in girls and women? It turns out that this statement is debatable. As for the "performing" part of speech, the perfection of the speech process, this side of speech is undoubtedly better developed in women and girls: they have higher speech fluency, reading speed, and better spelling. But that side of speech that is associated with the search: finding word associations, solving crossword puzzles, is better represented in boys and men. This once again proves that the strength of men is the ability to find a new non-standard solution, to innovate.

In relation to the male sex, evolution led the selection for quick wits, resourcefulness, ingenuity. It is important for the female sex to survive, and the selection went to adaptability (adaptability to changing living conditions), education. So under unfavorable conditions, for example, when our pedagogical influences do not correspond to the individual characteristics of the child's psyche, girls accept an unusual strategy for solving problems imposed by adults, and to a certain extent, better or worse, cope with tasks. Boys in such a situation try to get out of the control of an adult, not to obey him, because. It is extremely difficult for a boy to adapt to activities that are unusual for him.

And what are the features of the emotional sphere of boys and girls?

A survey of educators and teachers regarding the individual characteristics of the behavioral characteristics of children makes it possible to consider that boys are usually more excitable, irritable, restless, impatient, unrestrained, intolerant, unsure of themselves and even more aggressive than girls. Apparently, in most cases this is true. However, it must be borne in mind that our vision of a child does not always objectively reflect what it really is.

We compared the characteristics given to the same child by parents (almost exclusively mothers, not fathers) and caregivers (also women). To our surprise, the discrepancies were quite significant and different for boys and girls.

So, parents often consider boys to be unemotional when educators note their increased emotionality. At the same time, when assessing the emotionality of girls, the characteristics of both mothers and caregivers coincide. But parents often consider girls to be anxious when neither the teacher nor the psychologist notes anxiety in them. In boys, there are only the opposite cases, when the psychologist says that the boy is very anxious, and the parents declare with full confidence that such a quality is not characteristic of their son.

This means that parents tend to somewhat overestimate the emotionality of their daughters, apparently because it is manifested in their speech and is more obvious, and not to notice the emotional experiences of their sons. That is parents usually understand the inner world of boys worse. Even such seemingly obvious traits of behavior that we usually associate with the concepts of a "fast" or "slow" child are evaluated differently by parents and educators. If in relation to girls they are unambiguous, then boys in the eyes of their parents are more often unnecessarily slow, although educators consider them fast. True, sometimes, on the contrary, it is the educators who complain about the slowness of the boys, and their parents believe that their sons are very mobile and fast. That is, here, too, the disagreements concern almost exclusively boys.

This leads us to think about some significant differences in the organization, in the regulation of the motor and emotional spheres of boys and girls. A person's brain organizes and regulates any activity of a person. You can study the features of the brain using objective neuropsychological tests and direct recording of the bioelectrical activity of the brain during various activities.

First, we conducted a neuropsychological study, which consisted in the fact that the child - at the same time to each eye separately - was presented with a picture, but the pictures were different, and the child did not know this. This test is called dioptic viewing. Usually the children at the same time said that they see only one picture, and called the right one or the left one. Let us now leave the question of the specifics of the processing of incoming information by the left and right hemispheres of the brain and focus our attention on the child's perception of emotionally colored information.

In a number of other pictures, we showed a smiling and sad face, and if the right eye saw a smiling face, then the left eye saw a sad face. After some time, the pictures were swapped, and positive information entered the left eye, and negative information entered the right eye. If you bring all the results for six-year-olds together, it turns out that both boys and girls, regardless of which eye is shown which picture, are more likely to say that they see a smiling face. They see a sad face less often; the eye sees something, the brain receives information about what has been seen, but it is not allowed into consciousness.

And so our children went to the first grade. This is a colossal nervous burden on their psyche. The whole habitual way of life is changing, the external environment in which the child lives is changing, and in response to this, his brain begins to work differently. At the end of the first grade, we did the same study again with the same and new children. In girls, the picture was preserved almost completely and practically did not differ in different classes. But for the boys, this year did not pass without a trace: they began to say more often that they see a sad face. That is, negative information began to break through into consciousness, and when perceiving both positive and negative, the brain began to choose the negative more often, which is usually not typical of children's (and maybe even adults') perception.

Importantly, the results of the brain's analysis of positive and negative influences were very dependent on the personality of the teacher who worked with them. The teacher of an authoritarian type (the requirement of unconditional obedience, emphasis on following strict rules, the exclusion of subtle spiritual contacts even with the outward appearance of a benevolent attitude: "I said - you did") such an increase in the brain's mood to accept unpleasant, causing negative experiences, and ignoring the positive, the emotionally positive side of the perceived world is expressed most strongly.

In those classes where the teacher preferred a democratic type of education (the desire to achieve the desired behavior not through pressure by his authority, not through the requirement of submission, but through the desire to understand the inner world of the child, the ability to hear and understand the essence of his difficulties), children, but first of all the boys were more fortunate, they retained the quality inherent in childhood: to see the world as kind and joyful. And specifically in our case, the boys continued, as before school, to see a smiling face more often and less often a sad one.

Recording the brain biocurrents of children, we also learned a lot about how boys and girls perceive and analyze pleasant and unpleasant influences. We gave children of different ages to feel various objects, and the child did not see them, but touched what was hidden in the box. Some of the items were pleasant to the touch: soft, fluffy, while others were unpleasant - prickly or rough. It is known that babies are very fond of soft fluffy things, they are happy to play with plush, fleecy toys or touch their mother's jacket made of soft wool. But they hate prickly clothes, rough, prickly objects are usually bypassed.

In children, starting from the age of four, we found differences in brain activity during the perception of pleasant and unpleasant. In girls, brain activity at the moment when they touched a furry object was much higher than in boys. But when the object was unpleasant to the touch, the brains of the boys showed great activity. Three-year-olds did not have such a pronounced reaction: the level of inclusion of the higher parts of the cerebral cortex in the perception and analysis of information did not depend on the sex of the child, nor on what emotional sign she wore (Fig. 3). True, more subtle studies show that even in such babies, different brain structures are included in this activity differently.

Fig.3. The bars show the level of activity of the left hemisphere of the brain of children when they touch different objects.

If we follow how the activity of the brain changes over the course of long-term activity that is emotional in nature, then surprises await us here too. Preschool children watched and listened to the fairy tale "Little Red Riding Hood". From time to time the action was interrupted and the children were allowed to feel, among others, an object that was invisible to them, pleasant to the touch (it was a fox's foot from an old collar, covered with soft wool). Once they did this before the tragic events of the fairy tale, and the adult called the object: "this is a paw." Another time, the tale was interrupted after the wolf rushed at Little Red Riding Hood (but had not yet had time to eat it) - the children again felt the same paw, but the adult suddenly told them: "This is the wolf's paw."

Of course, this evoked unpleasant emotions in most children: some froze, others threw the object, their eyes widened, vegetative reactions showed the presence of emotions. Then the fairy tale was shown again, and when the wolf rushed at Little Red Riding Hood, they again let the same object be felt. Children, of course, immediately recognized him. The adult again said: "this is the paw of the wolf."

But not all children experienced negative emotions. Some rare children (and these were girls) smiled when they recognized the object, and joyfully reported that they thought it was a wolf's paw. For them, it was more important not what happened in the fairy tale, but whether they guessed what kind of object the adult had given them. The main thing for them is to establish contact with an adult, to correctly complete the task given by the adult, and not to worry about Little Red Riding Hood. As soon as the adult got involved in the activity - he began to give some tasks, in this case to feel the object - the attitude of these girls changed and completely switched to contact with the adult. One might think that they also watched the fairy tale now in order to be able to remember everything and, if necessary, answer questions. The boys, however, like many girls, watched the fairy tale, almost not paying attention to the adult until he interrupted them from the action of the fairy tale to perform some tasks, but even then they still lived in a fairy tale.

But what was going on in their brains at that time?

In girls, even before the fairy tale was shown, as soon as work with an adult (feeling different objects) began, the level of bioelectrical activity of the brain increased and remained high all the time while the girl watched the fairy tale and felt the objects.

Boys have a different picture. When they simply feel the object, only those centers are involved that are directly involved in the regulation of this particular activity, and the overall brain activity is low. After the paw turns out to be a wolf's paw, activity rises and then falls again. When the boy himself recognizes the object (wolf's paw), the activity rises again and falls again, not even rising at the words of an adult ("this is a wolf's paw"). Moreover, the activity is very selective: the auditory and motor centers of the speech hemisphere are turned on, as well as the frontal structures that program the child's subsequent actions and predict the result.

You can think that the boys comprehend the situation and prepare a way out of it. In girls, the entire brain is activated: the visual, auditory, motor cortex, and associative structures of both hemispheres.

So, boys briefly, but vividly and selectively react to an emotional factor, while in girls in a situation of activity that evokes emotions, general activity sharply increases, and the emotional tone of the cerebral cortex increases. The brain of girls, as it were, is preparing to respond to any trouble, keeping all brain structures in a state of readiness in order to respond at any second to the impact that came from any direction. Apparently, this achieves the maximum focus of the female body on survival. Men, on the other hand, usually quickly relieve emotional stress and switch to productive activities instead of experiences.

Adults should take into account the peculiarities of the emotional sphere of boys. It is difficult for mothers, educators and teachers to understand this side of a boy's life - they themselves are different. So it turns out that the mother (or teacher) scolds the boy for a long time, pumping up emotions, and gets angry because he does not worry with her, but, as it were, remains indifferent to her words. No, he is not indifferent. It’s just that he already gave a peak of emotional activity, reacted in the first minutes of the conversation, but, unlike his mother (and sister or classmate), he cannot hold emotional stress for a long time, he is not adapted to this and, in order not to break down, he simply turned off the auditory canal , and the information does not reach his consciousness. He no longer hears you. Your educational efforts are wasted. Stop. Limit the length of the notation, but make it more capacious in meaning, because The boy's brain is very selective in responding to emotional stimuli. If your whole speech comes down to two words: "you are bad," then what do you expect from a boy? He is disoriented. Explain the situation to him very briefly and very specifically - what are you unhappy with.

So, we have come to an important conclusion: a boy and a girl are two different worlds. Very often we misunderstand what is behind their actions, which means we react to them incorrectly. If you are already raising a glorious daughter, and you have a son, know that in many ways you will have to start from scratch and your experience in raising a daughter will sometimes not only not help you, but even interfere. The same thing will happen if after a son you have a long-awaited daughter, although there are usually less difficulties here.

A boy and a girl should never be raised in the same way. They look and see in different ways, listen and hear, speak and remain silent in different ways, feel and experience. We will try to understand and accept our boys and girls as they are, as different and beautiful in their own way as nature has created them. But whether it will be possible to preserve, reveal, develop these inclinations, not damage, not break - depends only on you and me.

V.D. Eremeeva and T.P. hrizman

Already at the moment of conception, the child receives the main thing in order to become a man or a woman: a set of sex chromosomes. Sexual identity is laid at the time of fertilization. It determines the nature of reactions to the conditions of development.

So, the psychological differences between boys and girls. Firstly, these are differences in reactions to the surrounding reality, including social events. Differences in the direction of interests and inclinations. Secondly, these are the stages of the maturation of the psyche, which are necessary for a person to become able to have his own offspring.

Differences between boys and girls can be detected even before birth: boys tend to push their mother harder (when the fetus moves). Physically (on average) boys are stronger. They scream louder and more insistently when they are hungry. They are born with a large weight (by 200-300 g), earlier they begin to hold their heads in a position on their stomachs. Already at an early age, a difference appears: the upbringing of a girl and caring for her are usually associated with many small worries and anxieties, which, as a rule, are not present when raising a boy and caring for him. But on the other hand, for a longer time, the girls are “with their mother” - nearby. Boys, as they grow older, tend to move away to greater distances, which gives rise to parental anxiety.

With age, the differences between boys and girls become more and more distinct. These differences appear long before puberty and are not determined by the nature of education: only the manner of their manifestation depends on it.

It is generally accepted that the child unconsciously imitates the behavior of the parents of the same sex: the boy - to the father, the girl - to the mother. At the same time, choosing the same activities or participating in a common game, they behave differently. For example, helping his father to make something, the boy seeks to repeat his actions, working with the tool itself. The girl, on the other hand, may well be content only with participation in a common cause, the very fact of helping and supporting role.

The female sex feels the passage of time worse - apparently, a higher emotionality affects. The fact is that it is the emotional state of a person that determines the subjective perception of time. As for space, it is no coincidence that toys preferred by boys are objects of movement, influence, transformation. It is the male gender that tends to disassemble the whole into parts - and not only in thinking (analysis), but also in reality. On the contrary, the toys preferred by girls are imitations of living beings and aids to everyday life. In the mind of a girl from an early age, a person dominates, and everything connected with him. Hence the features of the choice of toys. The space that is of interest to the girl is relatively small. However, it is carefully worked out to the smallest detail and is actually reflected in the mind. On the contrary, for a boy, the space in which the objects of interest to him are located is practically unlimited. For this reason, much of the immediate environment escapes his attention, is not sufficiently reflected in his consciousness. Much depends on upbringing: the girl is more often attracted to the household. Boys, as a rule, show less interest in household chores.

Girls are prone to patronage activities - to look after, nurse, take care. Girls tend to teach, instruct, criticize their younger brothers or peers. This is not seen in the relationship of older brothers to their sisters or boys to girls in general.

Girls, as a rule, use the toy for its intended purpose, making mistakes in its use only out of ignorance. Boys, on the other hand, can adapt the toy to various purposes, often not for its intended purpose, consciously finding unexpected uses for it. They are more interested in the device of the toy than its purpose. In constructive games, boys show more ingenuity. They build cities, railroads, focusing mainly on the structures themselves. In similar conditions, the girl does not build cities, castles, but a house, but with furniture, household items, with various decorations.

Male creativity is more innovative in nature, while female creativity is life-affirming, ordering and decorative.

The superiority of boys in spatial memory is manifested in the fact that they know better the territory adjacent to the house, the relative location of certain objects, and transport routes.

Girls have a higher sensitivity to sounds from the first months of life. It is no coincidence that they begin to speak a few months earlier than boys.

An increased interest in people and their relationships gives rise to a female behavior such as gossip. By adolescence, it is clear that gossip is a predominantly female trait. Teenage boys as gossipers are harder to imagine. Differences between boys and girls are also manifested in the fact that girls tend to appeal to elders more often. In similar situations, they are more likely to complain about boys than boys about girls. The female gender is more inclined to trust authorities and rely on authority in difficult cases.

Girls are more efficient. Boys themselves must see for themselves the need for certain actions. The circle of interests of boys is wider than that of girls. In the speech of boys, words that convey actions (verbs, interjections) predominate, while girls are prone to subject-evaluative speech (nouns and adjectives, denials and affirmations).

There are noticeable differences in educational interests. Usually boys are more fond of work, physical education, and of humanitarian subjects - history. Their native and foreign languages are least loved. Girls more often prefer humanitarian subjects - history, literature. Among the unloved subjects, many of them have physics, biology, mathematics. Boys, significantly more than girls, read books on history and travel and travel, but less fiction and especially poetry.

In their free time, the activities of boys are more varied, but less organized. Outside the house, in an unaccustomed environment, girls quickly get lost, find it hard to find something to do. Going somewhere, they have a specific goal, while the boys find something to do along the way, easier to navigate in an unfamiliar environment and perceive it positively.

On the other hand, boys, as a rule, are worse accustomed to self-service: they awkwardly change clothes and shoes, do not know where to start on duty in the classroom, do not know how to use a broom or a rag. In many ways, this is due to the lack of constant assignments around the house.

Girls are more proud and touchy, more sensitive to criticism. They are more likely to have an increased interest in their appearance, and they are more sensitive to other people's assessment of it.

Another feature of the female psyche is associated with differences in the volume and nature of the conscious and unconscious in the psyche. In a man, more thought processes occur directly in the sphere of consciousness, and his thinking is more logical and critical.

Thus, the male and female sexes are psychologically different in many respects, but in general they are equivalent and equivalent, complementing each other in different ways in a given life situation.

There are conflicting opinions about accounting for gender differences. Kolesov D.V. believes that the differences between boys and girls must be taken into account in the process of education, starting from an early age.

Berne believes that parents and educators need to learn to approach children based on the individual characteristics of the latter, and not on the proposed gender differences. Teachers can be sent to courses that will talk about gender bias in pedagogy and how to deal with it. Suggests that seemingly innocuous gender differences in the learning environment nevertheless play a very important role. Berne recommends that teachers and parents consciously create a gender-free environment for children that encourages cooperative play, equal relationships between boys and girls, and participation in games typically preferred by one gender.

1. Age and psychological characteristics of boys and girls in senior preschool age.

Presentation by a teacher-psychologist.

Blue ribbon for boys, pink for girls. From early childhood, we adults, consciously or not, prepare the child to fulfill the sexual role. In accordance with generally accepted traditions, we guide him in what it means to be a boy or a girl. We bring up tenderness, gentleness, sincerity in girls. Boys often forgive mischief and restlessness. The child, in turn, through imitation of adults, learns to be a boy or a girl.

In the middle preschool age, the difference in the motor activity of boys and girls becomes noticeable, which is due to the different content of their games and physical indicators.

Boys are dominated by games of a mobile nature (with a ball, racket). Girls prefer quiet games with a predominance of static poses (role-playing - "Family", "Shop", "Hairdresser's").

Boys and girls take on different roles, while using their already fairly rich motor experience. Boys, in comparison with girls, are more mobile in independent than in activities organized by someone.

Girls at this age usually have better speech development than boys, they are more obedient, attentive, diligent in class. Often their biological age is older. But boys have more pronounced individuality, they think outside the box and are interesting.

The formation of the values of one's gender occurs, first of all, in the family. Family traditions play a huge role here. They explain to the boy that he is a future man, which means that, like dad, he must be strong, protect the weak. In a complete family, boys imitate their father, and girls strive to be like their mother. The absence of a father in an incomplete family or the secondary role of a father in a complete family can negatively affect the character of a boy. In such cases, it is necessary to provide the child with full communication with the grandfather, other male relatives.

In the upbringing of boys and girls, parents often face a number of difficulties. For example, some fathers of girls who dream of a son seek to raise a boy from their daughter. This negatively affects the girl's future life, interferes with her normal development. A girl needs constant confirmation that she is loved. The girl needs to be praised more often, to compliment her, every girl wants to hear from her loved ones the words: “We love you so much! You are just beautiful! You are the best! You are just a miracle!

A boy is also pleased when he is admired, but from the age of 5 it is not enough for a boy to just feel loved. He wants to be praised for his personal achievements. He strives to be the best, to be a leader. When parents look at their son and admire the qualities inherent in the male sex, he gains confidence, which helps him develop masculine character traits.

It depends on the parents how their child will grow up, and how much he will correspond to his gender.

2. Radio station "Baby"

The teacher invites parents to listen to the thoughts of children about belonging to one or another gender. Children are asked the following questions:

1) What is the difference between boys and girls?

2) What do they have in common?

3) What do girls like to play?

4) And the boys?

5) What character traits do you like in girls? In boys?

6) What should be a real man? And the woman?

7) How to become a real man? A woman?

3. The role of the father in raising children

Educator's speech.

A loving mother is the key to a child's mental health. But no less important is the role of the father in the full upbringing of the girl. Her father is the first man she meets in her life. Her further personal life, her female self-esteem largely depends on the relationship of her parents in the family. Many girls who lack the attention of their father in childhood are doomed to self-affirmation throughout their lives. Emphasized independence, assertiveness, the desire to get out of the sphere of women's activities and assert their equality with men are often the result of a child's desire to attract the attention of her father, to prove to him that she is worthy of his love.

Girls, from the first days surrounded by their father's love, grow up more confident in their own usefulness, feel more protected.

A father may compliment a daughter's beautiful dress or her hair, a new doll, something she has made with her own hands. In turn, the girl learns to appreciate the qualities that make her father a real man, preparing to enter the big world, half-male. The type of boys she will befriend as an adult, her married life will be largely determined by the relationship she had with her father as a child.

Boys really need the friendship and approval of their father, they need the company of their father, his love. The boy will begin to feel like a man and behave like a man due to the ability to imitate and take an example from those men who are nearby, who take advantage of him. If the father is always impatient and irritable towards his son, then the boy will experience tension in his company. Such a child is likely to reach out to the mother and perceive her interests. So, if a father wants his son to grow up to be a real man, he should not attack the child when he cries, shame him, force him to do uninteresting things. A father should enjoy spending time with his son, letting him feel his pride and joy for his success.

4. The game "Parental concerns"

Several parents are invited to participate in the game. One team is formed from mothers of boys, the other - from mothers of girls.

The following tasks are offered:

Braid pigtails (for mothers of boys).

Fold an airplane out of paper (for mothers of girls).

Tie bows (for mothers of boys).

Draw a tank (for mothers of girls).

Twist the hoop (for mothers of boys).

Shoot a target with a slingshot (for mothers of girls).

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