How can a pregnant woman protect herself from the negative energy of people. How to avoid negativity coming from a person. Who are these negative people? How to avoid negative consequences in life

30.07.2019

It's hard to live a positive life surrounded by negative people.

Dealing with negativity can be tantamount to making life difficult for yourself. At my last job, I had a colleague with constant negative energy, and she poured all this on me on a daily basis. In our conversations, she constantly complained about everything - about the work process, about friends, about health, or about anything else that she could think of at the moment of the conversation. She was constantly cynical about other people, doubting their intentions, and judging them very harshly. The conversations were unpleasant and exhausting.

So, protection from negative energy, 7 effective steps:

How to cleanse yourself of negativity? Set Communication Boundaries

It is difficult to deal with negative people who are mired in their problems and cannot focus on solving them. They want to involve people from the outside in their 24/7 self-pity holiday, it boosts their self-esteem, because someone empathizes with them. You understand that you are simply forced to listen to their complaints, but you cannot do anything about it, because. don't want to come off as callous or rude. But you have to keep a clear line between being a vest and getting sucked into their emotional drama.

You can avoid this drama by setting limits and stepping back when necessary. Imagine if a person smoked cigarettes one after another, would you sit next to him all day and inhale second-hand smoke? Of course not, you would leave. The situation is similar with complaints, when you realize that you have already listened to them enough, step back for a while to restore your energy level.

If you can't move away any time soon, another great way to set boundaries is to ask the negative person how they plan to solve the problem they're complaining about.

Usually, after this question, negative people calm down or move the conversation into a more harmonious direction, at least temporarily.

How to get rid of negative energy? Don't React - Respond Consciously

In most cases, we overreact to something during a period of emotional overstrain. Usually the reaction is controlled by our ego, it is our human nature.

There is a fraction of a second to choose to react or respond consciously. When you feel angry or agitated, it means that you reacted to a provocation, and did not respond consciously. By answering consciously, you have a sense of balance, and you consider your words.

To recap, when you confront someone with a negative attitude, don't respond with insults, keep them to yourself. Don't forget your dignity and don't stoop to his/her level. As they say, you need to be brave enough to walk away from stupidity with your head held high.

Provide lungs themes for discussions

People's negative attitudes are usually associated with seemingly innocuous questions. For example, one of my friends becomes very difficult to manage when it comes to work. And no matter what I say, he complains about everything to do with work, and when I try to make positive comments, he reacts to them even more sharply. And our conversation becomes very heavy.

In general, if you find yourself in a similar situation, and your interlocutor gets stuck on a topic, understand that perhaps the problem lies very deep inside him, change the topic once and do not touch it again. It's best to move the topic to a discussion of simple things, such as funny memories, personal successes, or other easy topics. Keep the other person in a positive frame of mind.

Focus on solutions, not problems

Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. Focusing on problems can create negative emotions and prolong stress. But if you shift your attention to actions that can improve the circumstances, there is a sense of self-worth, efficiency and a kind of pride in yourself, which brings with it positive emotions and reduces stress.

The same thing happens with negative people, focusing your thoughts on how difficult and stressful they are only increases the suffering, giving them power over you.

If you stop thinking about how problematic a person is, focus instead on how you can present their behavior in a positive way, choose something for yourself. It is much more profitable to put yourself in the position of managing the situation, this allows you to significantly reduce the amount of stress. Try to find answers and solutions, put yourself in the position of a problem solver, and don't go with the flow.

Maintain a level of emotional detachment from other people's opinions of you.

Maintaining a level of emotional detachment is vital to keeping stress at bay. Don't let negative people (or anyone else) put their problems on your shoulders, this is very important for your emotional health and happiness. The solution to this problem comes down to how you value yourself and how much you believe in yourself.

People who effectively manage their lives, as a rule, they work on the "inner self", i.e. those people who know that success and well-being comes from within.

Negative people usually survive at the expense of others; blaming other people or external circumstances for everything that happens or does not happen in their life.

When your sense of satisfaction or well-being depends on the opinions of others, you are no longer in control of your happiness. Know it. When emotionally strong people feel good about what they've done, they don't let anyone ruin their sense of victory over a new challenge.

In truth, others either underestimate or overestimate you, only you can evaluate your strengths. Remember this. Whether you win or lose, you have invaluable experience. This is important.

Let go of the desire to change other people's negative tendencies

For some people you can help by a good example, but for others it may not. Remember this and you will be able to strike a balance between helping and retreating. If people do not perceive good examples, then step back from your idea to set a person in a positive way. It just won't work.

Resist energy vampires, manipulators, and emotional blackmailers who are desperate to control other people's behavior.

With that said, if your loved one has negative tendencies and you think they will change for the better over time, take off the rose-colored glasses, this will not happen.

If you really want to change it for any good reason, be honest and put all the cards on the table, at least this person will know how you feel and why.

For the most part, although you can't change them, in theory you shouldn't try to. Either you accept the person as he is, or live without him. This may sound a little harsh, but it's true. When you try to change people they often resist, but when you don't try to change them - you support them and give them the freedom to be themselves, they gradually change miraculously. Because the only thing that drives them is how you see them.

Dedicate enough time every day to work on yourself

You should neglect yourself just because others do it. and, if you are forced to live or work with a negative person, make sure you have enough alone time to rest and recover.

Playing the role of the "purposeful rational adult" in the midst of negativity can be very tiring, and if you're not careful, negativity can consume you.

Thoughts of negative people can fill your life even at night when you constantly ask yourself the following questions:

Am I doing the right thing?
Am I really that terrible that people talk to me like that?
I can't believe he did it
I'm in so much pain

Such thoughts can keep you agonizing for weeks, months, or even years. Unfortunately, sometimes the goal of a negative person is to drive you crazy and will sink to their level so that they are not alone. And since you can't control what they do, it's important to take care of yourself so you can stay centered in the negativity, feeling healthy and empowered when needed.

A bit more…

Even if you find it difficult to accept the fact that the negative person is you, you need to do so. Sometimes it's your own negativity that hurts you more than anything else.

If your inner critic is eating you up, try to get rid of all the thoughts and thoughts that hurt you, or at least some of them, and you will feel better.

Remember, you don't need negative thoughts.

Get started and watch this little tip change your life.

And finally, a little cartoon ...

If there is a person in your environment who is constantly out of sorts, always dissatisfied with something, complains about life and criticizes everything and everyone, this can greatly poison communication in a team. Try to avoid frequent contact with such a gloomy person, do not spoil your mood. Try to literally ignore the caustic remarks and boorish acts of this person. The less you pay attention to such a person, the less negativity comes to you from the outside.

Treat with some indulgence to a person who does not see anything good in life. If you feel sorry for the poor fellow, this will already help you not to take the negative emotions that come from him seriously. Some negatively minded individuals may show hostility. Their rudeness is a kind of provocation, and it is up to you to give in to it or not to react to such a person.

Don't waste your time and energy trying to prove to an eternally dissatisfied person that everything is not so bad. Do not argue, do not argue in favor of an optimistic view of the world. Let everyone have their own opinion. Understand that this person is just comfortable in the position of offended and deprived.

Confront negativity

It happens that a pessimistic person tries to influence you, imposes his negativity on you. You should not share your plans with such skeptics, lest they ruin your enthusiasm. Believe in yourself, trust your dreams, and don't listen to dark people who criticize your goals.

Don't take other people's opinions to heart. Then someone's sarcastic remarks will not be able to deeply hurt you. In order not to be upset because of the negative statements of others, counter them with your positive. Try to always smile and carelessly brush aside doubts, unfavorable forecasts of various skeptical personalities. Think with your own head and do not let others influence your mood.

If you need to communicate with a negative person, for example, on duty, try to distract yourself from the emotions that this person causes in you. Focus solely on the professional issues you are discussing. Don't let the conversation get sidetracked. Be clear and concise. If you can’t do this, and the person still pours his negativity on you, think about something of your own.

Because of negative thoughts or emotions, a person can develop not only mental problems, but also health problems. In the modern world, where there is often no time to properly relax and unwind, negativity accumulates inside and gradually destroys a person’s life. It is important to learn how to get rid of it.

Remove negativity from thoughts

It is worth recalling right away that the negative does not rule over a person until you react to it. That is, negative situations can occur around, strangers or acquaintances can say nasty things or do dirty tricks, but until all this “takes root” inside a person, negative thoughts do not fill the mind. As soon as a person reacted: answered, put another in his place or showed a different reaction in response to external influence, the thought settles in his head, and it will need to be worked with in order to eliminate it.

In working with negative thoughts, it is important to recognize in time when these very thoughts settle in the head. One technique for dealing with such thoughts is cutting. It does not involve their elaboration and analysis; in this technique, you just need to cut off the thought, replacing it with something else that is completely unrelated to it.

In another technique, the thought should not be cut off, but considered from the outside. At the same time, you do not need to live it, you just need to consider it, like, for example, a shop window. In this situation, you can ask yourself: “What did I think about now?”, At the same time, the thought will be perceived as someone else’s, and not one’s own, which means that it will not be able to settle inside.

Another method that involves getting rid of the negative is exaggeration, bringing to the point of absurdity. When a negative thought appears, you need to start working towards its exaggeration. So, the idea that the boss will now swear can be safely developed further: he will put the late worker on peas in the corner of his office, and then in disgrace, along with the rest of the employees, they will walk and laugh ominously at him, then everyone will start scratching and biting etc. After another absurd thought, a smile will definitely appear on your face, which means that the negative will go away.

Another effective method of dealing with negative thoughts is opposition. When a thought like “I won’t succeed” appears, it should immediately be replaced by another, opposite one – “I will succeed.”

Working with emotions

Working with emotions is more difficult than with thoughts, because it is not always possible to track down what causes them to appear. But in no case should you leave the negative in yourself: you need to throw it out. However, this does not mean that you need to throw out anger, resentment, sadness, anger or other negative emotions on others. There are special techniques on how not to harm anyone and at the same time help yourself.

One such technique is the "empty chair". You need to put an empty chair in the middle of the room and put a soft toy or pillow on it, imagining it as an offender. The offender here may not be a person, but a thing, for example, a broken washing machine. And then you can knock on the “offender”, ask questions, stomp your feet or just scream so that all the negativity comes out. Similarly to this technique, you can tear paper, unpleasant photographs, beat dishes - if only it would be useful.

There is also a technique that involves writing a letter to someone who once offended. This letter does not need to be sent, which means that you can not be shy in expressions and write what you want. Then you can write a response letter, imagine yourself in the place of that person, apologize on his behalf, justify yourself. It is advisable to write what you would like to hear from the offender personally. After performing such exercises, you can cry, you should not be afraid of this - this is how the negative comes out.

To share or not to share

You should always remember that you can not splash out the negative on your family and friends. Simply by telling people about their difficult situation, part of the experience also falls on them, and the person himself still does not solve his problem. You need to keep loved ones away from your problems or start a conversation that does not end with just a statement of the situation. It is better to ask for advice, understanding, just support, i.e. get some kind of feedback, and not leave the other person alone with their problem.

If you can’t deal with the problem of a negative perception of life on your own, you can turn to a psychologist. It is already possible to discuss everything with him without embellishment, without trying to spare his feelings. Good psychologists know how to deal with someone else's negativity.

Perhaps every person from time to time felt as if "drenched in slops." But you can’t blame only others for this, because a person often voluntarily “digs” into negative information: cataclysms, earthquakes, crimes. Some people just savor this information, repeating it many times a day.

However, the complete avoidance of such situations and people, as a rule, does not bring the desired result. You need to learn how to properly prioritize, perceiving only information that is important for yourself, and treat the rest as a given. First of all, it is necessary to recognize that the world is full of negative energy, filled with "bad" people, wrong actions from your point of view. The denial of this fact will only lead to life in an illusory world, the destruction of which will entail a breakdown in human thinking.

In this regard, the most valuable is the ability not to hide, but to cope with the surging negativity. To do this, determine the circle of people among your environment, from which you are of no use. If you need to communicate with them, for example at work, mentally imagine a brick wall. Then all the negativity coming from a person will penetrate this brickwork and remain in it without reaching you.

There is another way like this. To do this, imagine a mirror between you and an unwanted interlocutor. In this case, his negative emotions will be reflected on him, without touching you.

Sometimes it is possible to “blaspheme”, that is, to openly express your dissatisfaction with an annoying boring interlocutor. The main thing is to do it tactfully, without going beyond the bounds of decency.

How to deal with negativity and learn to control your emotions? If this question arose for you, then you are already on the right track. Getting rid of negative emotions is very difficult, and for this, first of all, you need to change the way you think.

How to deal with negativity: reconfiguring ourselves

The world around us will not change, and the people around us will not change, so we need to change ourselves and our views on the world. Here is what psychologists advise us:

always try to assess the situation objectively and avoid exaggeration;
be prudent; analyze the situation and learn from it;
never hold on to the past;
admit that you are the same ordinary person as everyone else, learn to accept your shortcomings;
look for positive aspects in your life;
take walks;
play sports.

As John Kehoe repeatedly stated in his books - there are no problems, there are opportunities. If you find yourself in a difficult situation and it seemed that everything and everything around you was against you - do not smack the fever, calm down and think soberly about what is happening. When something unpleasant happens, do not try to deceive yourself and present it in a dark light. Do not grieve over the problem, but look for solutions.

If you feel that a wave of negativity is sweeping over you, then just try to switch, think about something pleasant, about what gives you pleasure. By the way, regular physical activity helps us reduce the level of stress in the body.

Programming yourself

Our body is amazing - we can work for a very long time without rest, heading towards our goal, but at some point everything breaks down, you feel tired, exhausted ... How to avoid this? The answer is simple - you need to be able to relax. First of all - get enough sleep. Plan your day so that you get at least eight hours of sleep. John Kehoe, already mentioned above, in one of his books states that you need to spend at least five minutes every day imagining yourself as a successful person.

If it seems to you that everything around you exudes negativity, then try this practice - every night list (mentally or on paper) all the good things that happened to you. If you do this regularly, then you yourself will notice that you begin to look around for the good, the positive.

The better you set yourself up, the more time you devote to working on yourself, the faster you will begin to reap the fruits of your labor. The main thing is to believe in yourself and your success. Only then will you learn to deal with negativity.

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation will be given, you need to start living a life that you don’t have to run away from,” (Seth Godin), marketer, founder of the referral network squidoo.com.

“It is madness to do the same thing over and over again, each time expecting a different result.” – Albert Einstein, scientist, Nobel Prize winner in physics in 1921.

“Most people would prefer unhappiness over uncertainty,” Timothy Ferriss, American writer, blogger, and author of The 4-Hour Workweek.

“When I was in high school, I worked part-time at the grocery store. I had 8 different bosses, and in all the time I worked, I did not bother to remember the name of any of them.

The store manager wore a golden vest that didn't suit him at all, and the general manager was constantly wearing a light blue vest (which looked even more ridiculous).

At the end of the month before the income statement, they turned into real monsters. To be honest, when a man in a light blue vest yells at you, it becomes a little ashamed. Therefore, when one of my acquaintances came to the store, I waited for them to leave, hiding in the refrigerator.

My last year of graduate school was a living hell. I wrote several articles and finished my dissertation, but my supervisor refused to sign it, returning it again and again for revision. There is nothing worse than a man who tells you to jump, waving the keys to a brighter future in your face.

Every day I thought about quitting everything. I felt the spark inside of me slowly go out: I was being choked, and I had no choice but to watch what was happening. I had to experience something similar only once: in childhood (my parents constantly quarreled, and I was still too young to leave home) and when I started living with my girlfriend (at some point I realized that our relationship reached a dead end, but could not do anything because he was too poor and did not have the opportunity to break the lease).

Fortunately, I have always been able to change my life for the better. It didn't happen overnight, but I always found a way to get out of this or that situation. Now, looking back, I understand that this method has always been the same.

Negative people will ruin your life!

The human brain is addicted to negative information. The results of numerous studies show that negative information passes through the amygdala (part of the limbic system of the brain, located in the temporal lobe) and is immediately sent to the so-called "long-term memory storage."

At the same time, the process of processing positive information lasts about 12 seconds.

Another study showed that a person who is exposed to negative influences for 30 minutes (for example, a boss shouting or a friend’s monologue about how unhappy he is) begins to destroy hippocampal neurons, one of the functions of which is to participate in the problem-solving process.

The miraculous effect of change

Change will make you happier. :)

A recent study by University of Connecticut psychology professor John Salamon showed that dopamine is one of the main factors affecting a person's level of motivation. It is quite obvious that people who feel like hostages of their own lives often have critically low levels of dopamine.

A similar experiment conducted by scientists at The University of British Columbia showed that one of the easiest and fastest ways to increase dopamine levels is change.

A lot of people talk all the time about wanting to get away from all the things they hate so much. Nevertheless, they are in no hurry to fulfill their desire, continuing to drag out their usual existence, which has long ceased to bring them joy.

This is because they are afraid of change. You cannot escape negative events and negative people without leaving your comfort zone. If you do not find the strength in yourself to go beyond it, then you will never get rid of the need to solve problems other than your own and sympathize with the failures of others.

Get rid of the influence of negative people

1. Technique "Ruslo"

Take advantage of your brain's addiction to negative information.

At the end of the 19th century, Atlantic cod was in great demand in America. Rumors about the excellent taste of this fish quickly reached the west coast. But the problem was this: West Coast restaurants had to find a way to transport fish over such a long distance while keeping it fresh.

Suppliers decided to ship frozen fish by train. But when the restaurants received and cooked the cod, it was too soft and almost lost its characteristic taste.

After some time, it was decided to build huge aquariums in the train cars, filled with sea water. When the cargo was delivered to the west coast, the fish was alive, but despite this finished dish, it was still tasteless.

A few years later, a young scientist began to study the nature of cod and discovered that the catfish was the natural enemy of this fish. The scientist recommended that the owners of restaurants on the west coast transport fish in the same aquariums, but immerse two or three catfish in each of them.

When the Atlantic cod, which managed to escape the catfish, was delivered and cooked, it tasted no different from what was served in restaurants on the American east coast. :)

If there is a negative person in your life that you can't get rid of through traditional ignoring, learn how to use him to your advantage by directing his negativity in your direction.

2. Technique "Fog"

In case negative people have power over you, the best thing you can do to protect yourself from their harmful influence is to hide your true goals and plans. If they are not aware of what you really want, they will not be able to stop you.

Here is what Isaiah Henkel says about his experience with such people:

“In graduate school, I made a huge mistake by telling my supervisor that I wanted to get a job in the engineering industry.

A few months later, when some kind of argument broke out between us, he used this information against me. In the future, he deliberately put a spoke in my wheel so that I could not get a position in a company whose director was already ready to offer me a place.

Having missed the opportunity to get my first job, I decided not to devote my supervisor to my plans anymore, thereby completely disarming him.

3. Technique "Investing"

Not all negative people are useless. In fact, some of them may be much smarter and more talented than you. The negative people we meet in our lives often have similar interests to us, read the same literature and watch the same films.

Don't let your emotions cloud the fact that people who aren't very nice to you have qualities that can be beneficial.

For example, if this person has succeeded in stealing your biggest clients, it's worth considering why he still doesn't work for you. To disarm negative people, you need to honor their merits. In this way, you can not only benefit from it, but also earn their respect and trust.

If it seems to you that someone is driving you crazy, push emotions into the background and try to assess the situation from the outside. Try to find something in this person that can bring certain benefits, and start to cooperate.

4. Technique "Emptiness"

Negative people use others as an elixir of life. They need someone who can sacrifice their time to listen to their failures and disappointments.

Making others suffer makes negative people feel much better, but when you disappear - you create a void - negative people are forced to drag the burden of their problems on their own.

The only downside to the emptiness technique is that before you can completely get rid of negative people, their influence on you will become several times stronger.

As soon as the negative person realizes that you are trying to move away from him, he will do everything to win you over again. Since you have communicated very often in the past, it will not be difficult for them to get you to respond.

Your main task is to resist this desire and remember that sooner or later this person will leave you alone.

Happiness cartoon

Happiness and success have almost the same spread rate as viruses. According to scientists, associating with a successful positive person increases your chances of becoming happy by 15%. If your friend's friend is a hard-core optimist, then your chances of being a fun person increase by 10%, and if the most positive person you know is your friend's friend, your chances of being a little happier increases by 6%. :)

More than 7,000,000,000 people live on our planet. It would seem that finding someone who will support you and accept you for who you are should be easy. However, for most of us, it is very difficult to let someone new into our lives, because past mistakes, resentments and obligations speak much more eloquently than the prospect of making friends with a positive person.

One of the most important steps to attract successful, strong, optimistic people into your life is to improve your communication skills. A large-scale study conducted by specialists from the Center for Creative Leadership showed that poor communication skills are the first thing that harms an employee's career growth.

Isaiah Henkel suggests using the following ways to improve your communication skills.

1. Body language

In order for your interlocutor not to feel awkward, learn to convey your emotional state with the help of various non-verbal tricks - body position, facial expressions, gestures.

Research from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology shows that people who actively gesticulate during a conversation give the impression of strong charismatic personalities.

2. Susceptibility

Usually a sensitive person has excellent communication skills, since it is much easier for him to “read” how others feel in a given situation.

One of the fastest and most effective ways to increase your susceptibility (sensitivity) is to read fiction. Many studies show that reading has a positive effect on a person's ability to identify and understand the emotions of others.

3. Calibration for the situation

In neuro-linguistic programming, the concept of "calibration" is used to describe the ability of a person to recognize and adapt to the emotional state of the interlocutor or the situation in which he finds himself.

If you enter a room and sense that something is not right, the first thing you should do is pay attention to the body language of those around you. Who is being aggressive? Who seems depressed? Who is in a neutral position?

Once you understand the mood of the majority of those present, it will be much easier for you to establish contact with them and find out what happened.

4. Motivation to action

Some people emit light, others absorb your life energy. Of course, a person who boasts excellent communication skills belongs to the first type of people: he gives others a good mood, makes them smile, enjoy life, inspires and gives self-confidence.

If you want to induce a person to action, you will have to take care of his emotional state, since one of the most important factors affecting the degree of motivation of a person is the production of so-called "hormones of joy", which include serotonin and endorphin.

5. Simplicity

That, how you're talking about something as important as it is about how you tell.

Replacing simple understandable words with professional terms, you make a huge mistake. Putting the interlocutor in an awkward position, you will not look smarter in his eyes. Rather, on the contrary: he will seriously think about whether it is worth wasting time on a pompous, self-confident smart guy.

6. Versatility

The more variety in your life, the more interesting it is to communicate with you.

If you're a middle manager who spends most of your time in the office, take a few surf or diving lessons, go skydiving, or go camping with friends. If you are a stay-at-home type, try looking for jobs online.

Knowing that you have many different opportunities, it is impossible not to take advantage of them.

7. Mindfulness

There is no more powerful technique for arming strong, influential, successful people than the effect of presence.

The presence effect suggests that all your attention should be focused on your interlocutor: you should not only speak, but also listen, empathize, make him believe that you care.

The key to success is the right sequence

Find your purpose, rally people around you and only then offer them a product or service. In case you enjoy working for other people, this sequence remains the same: first you must define your goals, and then find a job that will help you achieve them, but not in reverse order.

It should be noted that most people do exactly the opposite: get a job they want, build useful connections, and only then try to find at least some sense in it all. As a rule, such people very rarely reach any heights.

1. Start from the end

A pay raise or a leadership position cannot be end points. These are just life guidelines, the number of which is completely unlimited.

The main goal of any person should be his lifestyle - that list of mandatory actions that he performs, barely tearing his head off the pillow or returning home from work, what he works on every day. This list may include sports, evening walks, reading, learning a foreign language, courses in mathematical modeling, and the like.

A lot of people burn out at work for a supposed good life. The problem is that they don't even know what it should be. They just diligently scribble long to-do lists, fill out weekly calendars, travel to business meetings, never leave their smartphone for a minute, without thinking about where all this should lead.

Pause, look ahead, identify the main goal, and then start moving towards it from the other end. :)

2. Prioritize

Your life priorities should correlate with your goals, not your feelings and to-do lists. Only in this way will you save yourself from bizarre decisions that can lead you astray.

Remember that your life goals are not only what you want to achieve, but also how you want to live your life.

3. Make your dreams come true

Each of us has a dream. It's easy to create a fuzzy picture of a happier, wealthier, and more successful self. However, understanding what the words “happier” means to you and determining how much money you need to have in order to feel rich is not so easy.

Since childhood, we have been hammered into our heads with a false premise: supposedly, work cannot be joyful, otherwise it would not be called work. You resisted and wanted to prove the opposite by your example, but you lost. Now you work in your office and sharpen your teeth for 8, 9, 10 hours until you come home and break out on the girl you live with. It sucks to be you. But remember when it all started. Where did all this negativity come from? Are you really infuriated by working moments, and not by your own habit of thirsting for negativity, which you have worked out with such persistence lately?

Stephen Parton, a smart and far from stupid scientist, found that any complaint leads to negative emotions, which can have long-term consequences for the brain. He says, “If you're always complaining about your own strengths, then you don't really think that you have the power to change anything. And that way, you never change anything."

In other words, having a positive attitude at work is important in the context of your entire life, and not just within one working day. How to keep this very positive attitude and how to get rid of the negativity? We will talk about this a little lower.

Avoid Office Game of Thrones

To participate in intrigues is fun, bold and low. You will encounter this in any team. Someone necessarily dislikes his colleague, someone boss, and someone - you. People do not know how to live in a friendly team. It's human nature, you can't do anything about it. However, if you contribute to the process of forcing interpersonal relationships, if you contribute to conflict, then be prepared that the wave from the explosion will touch you too. Therefore, always stay away from all this.

Do you notice any problems? Be direct about them, don't spread rumors at dinner. No one hears your fair claims? Things are bad, but try to work better and move away from the negative if you want to stay where you are. Intrigues are the business of low people (not dwarfs, but you understand).

Be positive in the office

Do you think that advice is stupid and banal? Maybe so. But this is one of the most effective tips. And you don't have to be a genius to follow it. Just focus on positive emotions, positive dynamics and success. You can tell jokes at lunchtime, although if you don’t know how to joke, then it’s better not to tell anything. The point is to forget about the negative that is happening and think only about the good. We do not recommend doing this always and everywhere, but during business hours it will be useful.

Most people add their colleagues, bosses and subordinates as "friends". When you do this, you should keep in mind that your page may be regularly evaluated by higher authorities. If you are one of those people who constantly complains on social networks about the world, injustice, government and your own life, then think about the image that is created in the minds of your colleagues. So it’s better not to exchange social pages at all, and if you added someone as a friend, then watch what you write, because you are being watched.

Keep in touch while talking

When you have a meeting, or you communicate with colleagues, then you should not abstract from the subject of the conversation. By such behavior, which resembles the behavior of an outsider, you show disrespect to your interlocutor. When this happens, you automatically provoke the dumping of negative slops on your life. Try to maintain eye contact, be an active listener, and participate in the conversation.

Praise colleagues

Always congratulate your colleagues for a job well done. If they promoted him, and not you, then shake his hand and wish him good luck. Envy is the devil's plaything, first of all. Secondly, when you receive an award yourself, do not forget to praise the people who helped you achieve it. This is not servility, but a method by which your body will radiate positive energy - it will be easier to work.

Be a teacher

If there is downtime at work, then use this time to good use - read books, listen to podcasts that are somehow related to your work. Find information that will be useful for you and your colleagues. Study everything well and, most importantly, share this information with colleagues. In this way, you show that you are one step ahead of them, but at the same time you can also give good advice on work. You will be the guru of the team, to whom everyone will come for advice.

Be resistant to criticism

This is important because criticism is inevitable. And everyone will have to fight it, if not demonstratively, then at least internally. The problem is that criticism may not always be justified. It's a damn shame when you are sure that you are doing a good job, and they tell you the opposite. But let's be honest with each other - more often than not, criticism hits the bull's-eye. If so, then accept it, try to correct the mistakes and move on. This position will save your nerves.

Adapt to change

There are no safe havens in this world - everything changes. Your job is to adapt to change in order to survive. This is how things work in a career. Are your co-workers getting fired because they can't handle the new conditions? Modernize your workflow, discard archaisms and adopt things that seemed stupid, newfangled and unnecessary to you, because they, as a rule, replace everything old and obsolete.

But in order to develop your adaptive skills, you need to follow the trends in your profession. Separately, we advise you to read the foreign press. Even if you are a plumber, it will be useful for you to find out what the Japanese came up with and how it will help in your work.

Lone wolf - dead wolf

Spend time with colleagues, be sociable and friendly. We have already written that the commandment does not work well in modern conditions. The best option would be to find friends among colleagues, go to a bar together and establish a trusting relationship. This will help improve the psychological situation at work. Plus, you get allies.

Only professional correspondence

When social networks, instant messengers, and other joys of the information society have swallowed up your working relationships, the temptation to write something vicious about your colleague, boss, or competitor has become great. But you have to be professional. Only business correspondence - no more, no less. Don't let your emotions cloud your mind and ruin your career. Of course, some things are necessary to say, but we recommend that you wait exactly 24 hours before sending an angry message. With a probability of 99%, soon you will send such a letter straight to the trash.

When we are in a bad mood, our distorted consciousness perceives the world through the prism of eternal discontent and disappointment. The circle closes when our negative thoughts smoothly and imperceptibly flow into negative emotions, and emotions turn into destructive actions.

If this vicious circle is not broken in time, the negative consequences of your thoughts begin to affect not only your mood, but also your career, personal life and physical condition. The fact that such a condition can lead to depression and a feeling of constant anxiety.

You can stop negative emotions only when you understand what exactly causes negative thoughts and a further chain of unpleasant events. Find your triggers (impulses) - find your golden key to a good mood and in the future you will be able not only to prevent negative emotions and actions, but also to catch gray thoughts by the tail right on the way to your head.

Philip Viana, a banking financial adviser with a very busy schedule of life and work, shares his secrets to dealing with negativity.

triggers

In psychology, the term trigger" means any an external stimulus that acts as an impulse, a trigger, which triggers the appropriate emotional or physical response.

Thoughts, words, actions and sometimes physical reactions can trigger your negative state. One single trigger can be quite harmless, especially if you let the negativity out. For example, they beat the dishes to their heart's content or shouted well. Plate - to smithereens! Bad thoughts out! It's all over, everyone is happy and you can finally buy those new plates that you've been staring at since last year, but there was no reason to.

But… But if after you break your plate, you hear something like “I can’t believe you broke my mom’s favorite cup!”, the process doesn’t end and just the bad mood can turn into anger and the cycle will start again.

Negative thoughts are like a flame

Imagine a negative thought as a flame. In an empty concrete parking lot, such a flame would not be able to cause much harm. It is very easy to extinguish it or it will gradually burn out on its own. But if even a small flame flares up in a closed room filled with combustible and explosive materials, trouble cannot be avoided. Even if you start to extinguish it, the flame will try to gobble up as much as possible before it is extinguished. The flame will burn until there is nothing left to burn.

The same thing happens to a person in anger. The flame of discontent inside flares up and if fuel is thrown to it, it will not stop until it burns out all other emotions inside a person and in the end only emptiness remains. I don't know if you've ever felt uncontrollable anger that bursts out and burns everything inside. You feel anger and aggression! You choke on negativity to the point of feeling physical pain in your chest. You are short of breath, you are suffocating. And when this flame breaks out, it incinerates everything - your relationships with family and friends, your emotions, your work. When the fire goes out, there is usually nothing left to burn.

An example of a negative emotional cycle

You're on your way to an important business meeting and you're stuck in traffic. As a result, of course, you are late. And even if you were only 20 minutes late for a meeting for a good reason, you still get stressed and you feel it even physically - waves of nausea roll over you.

Thoughts arise in your head that you are constantly late, you don’t succeed, your colleagues don’t appreciate you, you don’t manage to make profitable deals, etc. Your circle is complete and you are being sucked into a swamp called "I'm a loser and no one loves me." Plus, you start to break loose on the surrounding drivers of the car, who are not to blame for anything and, just like you, turned out to be hostages of the situation.

Is there a way out? Try to calm yourself with the thought that you deliberately left early, but still got stuck in traffic. Everyone can make a mistake. And colleagues will certainly enter into your position and understand you. After all, 20 minutes is not an hour.

Recognizing triggers

In order to remain calm in any situation, you must understand what exactly are the triggers for you and work through them. Moreover, in different situations and for different emotions there are triggers. Add to this positive thinking, choosing the right environment and avoiding negativity, choosing a job that you really enjoy, a favorite hobby that you have enough free time for and, of course, choosing the right people around you - and you will have reliable armor.

Weakening triggers

Try to find the positive in everything and think positively. This is quite difficult, since a person is a mysterious creature, and even if everything around is perfect, we diligently do not believe in it and find negative points at least in small things. And if they are not there, then we just invent it (everything just doesn’t happen so well). Therefore, you will have to spend time learning to think positively and find positive moments even in the most unpleasant situation.

For example, instead of thinking that you are not attractive and no one loves you (even if this is true), think that you have your loving family, who every day look forward to your return from work, love you very much. you and you are always welcome.

Try to extinguish negative thoughts as soon as they arise in your head. To get started, try to set aside at least 5 minutes every day to make a list of all the good things that you managed to do today, your positive qualities, things and people that make you happy.

Breaking the Loop and Pattern

Sometimes it happens that you are not able to recognize the impulse that triggers your negative emotions. For example, you went to bed in a good mood, and woke up with beeches. In this case, instead of following the usual “wake up, had coffee, read the newspaper” schedule, it is better to interrupt this standard cycle and do something else. For example, take a soothing or invigorating (depending on the situation) shower. The shower calms and washes away negative emotions. You can imagine how all your anxieties and bad thoughts go away with water. Relax, tune in to a productive and positive day

Try to avoid negative economic and political news in the morning. Leave the house early so that you can get to work in a stress-free, leisurely way and still have time for a cup of coffee.

Conclusion

Learn to extinguish the flame of negativity before it starts to flare up and devour you. Don't let negativity fill your life and distort your perception of reality. Try to find positive moments even in the most hopeless situations.

Anger, anger, aggression, apathy, anxiety - all this destroys our lives, changes us beyond recognition and leaves our souls empty and dull. Keep this in mind before you think that you are failing.