Why you don't want relationships at an early age. I see no reason to start relationships with girls Excessive jealousy and suspicion

04.03.2020

Mark Tullius Cicero

Some people want to know how to start a relationship with the opposite sex, what steps to take, what actions to take. In this article, I will briefly explain to you, based on my experience in solving such problems, what you need to do to get to know the person you are interested in and build the relationship you need with him. To start a relationship, the first step is to decide what you are doing it for. That is, you must be clearly aware of your desires and needs in order to find the right person to satisfy them. If you need a partner solely to satisfy your physiological needs, then in this case you can start a temporary relationship with someone who needs the same from you. In this case, you do not need a serious relationship. But if you have a clear and clear long-term goal - creating a family, having children, joint achievement of some goals, and so on and so forth, then for such a relationship you need to select the appropriate person. Let's see how this can be done.

Usually people talk about feelings when they meet someone by chance and their relationship develops by itself. Say, you can’t command your heart, and if you fell in love with a person, you don’t even think what he is, you just want to be with him. Well, of course, I understand all this very well - feelings are feelings, if they play out, then they are difficult to control. But I also know reasonable approaches to building relationships, when a partner is chosen consciously, and only then feelings arise for him. So, contrary to popular belief, one can command the heart, or rather, invite it to fall in love with the right person. You just need to understand that the more a person corresponds to your life goals and values, the easier it will be for you to love him, and for him, accordingly, to love you. Because when people understand each other, when they have common values, goals, desires, worldview - their sympathy for each other grows and eventually turns into love. So, by the way, some women fall in love with a man - they completely adapt to him and become for a man the woman of his dreams. This work is subtle, but effective. I have helped several women to charm the men they love, and everything worked out great with them. So I know what I'm talking about when I suggest you take a conscious approach to creating a serious relationship. No need to rely on chance - create your own destiny.

Courage is also very important in this matter. Where to meet the right person, how to do it - these are all the details. These issues can always be resolved. The main thing is to find the courage in yourself and decide on this matter. After all, how many people cannot get to know each other just because they are afraid to approach a person, they are afraid to talk to him, and even on the Internet they are afraid to start communication. But think, what is there to be afraid of, this is just an acquaintance - many are interested in it. People are made to meet. Act boldly - both women and men love the brave. To build a relationship, especially a serious relationship, you need to step over all the fears you have. You need to communicate with people, because without communication there will be no acquaintance, and without acquaintance there will be no relationship.

It is not uncommon for young people to have difficulty building relationships. Lacking the necessary self-confidence, they cannot make sufficient efforts in this direction, as a result of which they suffer from loneliness. But I will repeat that it takes courage to build relationships, and for it to appear, you need to act without hesitation. Especially young guys do not need to be afraid of anything. It is important for them to just get acquainted with girls until they succeed in this business. The number of attempts doesn't matter, what matters is the end result. It happens that young guys turn to me for help and ask: how to start a relationship with a girl - where to get to know her better, how to approach her, what to say to her, and so on and so forth. Some of them manage to invent very complex theories for such a simple matter as acquaintance. But they don't really need any theories. When we resolve this issue with them, we are not talking about how to get acquainted with a girl, but about why they have not done this yet. And it turns out that they have a lot of fears, and the main one is the fear of rejection. A girl can refuse and for a guy this is a very painful blow. This causes him to lose self-esteem. But, friends, refusals should be approached philosophically - all people are different, not all of them are suitable for each other, they all have their own tastes, preferences, desires, dreams. Therefore, if you are refused, then this does not mean at all that something is wrong with you - it’s just that the same girl has some ideas of her own about what kind of guy she needs. You yourself know what kind of princes they like to draw in their imagination, in a series of lack of sufficient life experience. It goes away over the years. So you should not be afraid of failures - they are part of the dating process. Then, after you get to know a person, you will also need to build relationships with him competently, finding out how well you fit each other. So this is a serious and painstaking work in which success may not be achieved immediately. Therefore, do not be afraid and avoid possible failures.

Similarly, with the question of how to start a relationship with a man. Some women find it very difficult to solve this problem. But in fact, all that is required of them is just to be active enough in this business and not be afraid of failure. Often a woman needs to initiate an acquaintance. Only in this way can she attract the attention of a man and captivate him with herself. However, many women adhere to the outdated attitude that a man should take the first step towards a woman, that he should be the initiator of acquaintance, should take the initiative. Forget about it - a man does not owe anything, he does as he wants, as it is more convenient for him. If he wants, the first one will do; if he doesn’t want, he won’t. And why should you hope for it - you are not the only woman on earth - come up yourself, or at least interest a man in yourself, get into his field of vision, help his eyes. There are plenty of ways to do this. A lot of women, including with my help, arranged their personal lives in this way. So do not wait for anything, be bold and grab your own happiness. You need relationships - you build them. And you will definitely build them.

Another important point in this matter is taking responsibility for your choice. You can get to know a person, you can start developing a relationship with him, but at one fine moment you may want to complain to him that he does not live up to your expectations and does not become what you want him to be. You have no idea how many relationships fall apart because people cannot and do not want to accept the other person for who they are. They choose their own partner, seeing perfectly what kind of person he is, and then condemn him for not changing. Serious relationships with such an approach to people cannot be built. You can't blame a person for not wanting to change. Either make the right choice, or then blame yourself for starting to build a relationship with a person who was initially unsuitable for you. But you don’t need to blame him for anything - this will only aggravate your relationship. When you start a relationship with a person, you must understand that at this moment you are making a choice. You choose a person, character, thinking, psyche, whose behavior has been formed over the years. Some people are happy to change, but they cannot, because it is very difficult for them. And if you make claims to them that they are just themselves, then you will begin to shake the foundation of your relationship. And if these are not yet developed relations, then they will collapse very quickly.

Well, the last thing I want to advise you is to be extremely attentive to the desires and needs of the person with whom you want to start a relationship. In this business, as in trading - if you can offer a person what he needs - you will become interesting to him. It doesn’t matter who we are talking about - a man or a woman, everyone has their own needs and desires, which in the case of a serious relationship should largely coincide with yours. If, for example, you are a woman and want to start a serious relationship with a man, and he only needs sex, then as my experience shows, in very rare cases a man goes towards a woman. Much more often, men make a bunch of promises to get their own, and then just disappear. Therefore, it is extremely important, on the one hand, to be interesting for another person, offering him what he needs, for which you first need to find out exactly what he needs, and on the other hand, it is important to compare the desires and needs of this person with your desires and needs. Here, in general, everything rests on the value system that people adhere to. If it is the same for them, then their desires, needs, and goals will largely coincide. And therefore, their relationship will be reliable and durable.

So a serious relationship requires a serious approach. But temporary relationships, without, as they say, any obligations, you can not plan at all, casual acquaintances are also suitable for them. But then do not make claims to your partner if it turns out that you wanted more, but he did not live up to your expectations. Do not hope for a miracle, wanting to make a beautiful swan out of an ugly duckling. Miracles do happen, but very rarely. I wouldn't have to deal with so many relationship problems if casual acquaintances often grew over time into something serious and reliable. So no matter how you feel, try not to lose your mind when you start relationships with people. Love must be reasonable, then it will be strong and long.

MALE LOOK:

7 signs of women with whom you should not start a relationship.

Stereotypes still play an important role in our society. Men have identified themselves as the least attractive
th stereotypes of women's behavior. It should be noted that not all men hold
There are similar monotonous opinions, but the majority still think about women in approximately the same way. Here are the most important signs of women with whom, in the opinion of men, you should not start a relationship.

1. Came on a date with a girlfriend

This act is the most obvious sign for a man that a relationship with such a girl will not work out. If a girl took her best friend on a first date, this indicates that all her planned plans were frustrated, which, of course, did not include a date, or it was the only alternative so as not to stay at home. In any case, she clearly does not feel interest in a man ... Another argument: if she takes her girlfriend with her on the first date, then she is much more interesting with her, and if the date does not take place, then it seems that the two of them will successfully go together to walk further to look for new gentlemen ....

2. For a long time she lived alone with a divorced mother

As a rule, this kind of cohabitation ends with the complete re-education of the child. If the marriage did not take place with the mother, it is very likely that the mother drove thoughts into her daughter’s head like: “All men are bastards” or “Look, dotsya, don’t marry such a goat as I got caught.” And this leaves an indelible imprint on the character of a woman. Most likely, for such a girl, her mother and no one else will be the only authoritative word and opinion. And her mother, in turn, has only the experience of the bitter mistake of her youth.

3. After the final break with her “ex”, she maintained warm, friendly relations.

In this case, as it seems to men, the woman has not finally decided what she needs. There is a strong possibility that the current contender of the hand and heart is just a means of overcoming depression. The likelihood of resuming the old relationship is quite high.

4. All her past relationships were with people of a different social circle.

Each person has a certain social circle in which he feels good and comfortable. Therefore, if a companion is from another society, the probability of exhausting all topics for communication on the first date is very high ...

5. Journalists, realtors, waitresses, saleswomen.

The work leaves its “unique” imprint on the character of such people. Straightforwardness, stubbornness, independence, initiative - such women strive to show their I everywhere and in everything. Here it is, another well-established stereotype of our society: a woman is the keeper of the hearth and home comfort, and not the heroine of the program “Who is the boss in the house”, so she should sit at home and not think about her career.

6. Her income is much higher than my own.

Such a relationship will lead to the complete satisfaction of the desires of a woman, and completely relegated to the background the desire of a man to become a master in a relationship. A man loses all initiative and cannot feel comfortable in such a situation.

7. Financially interested persons.

Such women are interested in money and nothing more. It is unlikely that any man likes it ... Maybe he will spend a couple of thousand on her in a restaurant for one night, but do not expect a serious relationship. Most men identify such women from afar and prefer to stay away from them, so as not to empty their wallet once again.

We have explored the difference between love and infatuation. We think that everyone could see themselves in the above points, because the article was written, based on our own experience.

What to do to avoid falling into the trap of these tyrants? How to avoid such a fate?

Let's take a look at some signal symptoms, which will be a warning to us:

1. A person contradicts his words, does not fulfill promises, deceives.

If you are faced in life with a person who says one thing and does another, constantly makes promises and does not fulfill them, lies and discusses behind the backs of others - tell him "Goodbye!". Otherwise, your relationship will resemble a game of Mafia, where each time you will blame and suspect each other. "The city sleeps - the mafia wakes up."

Read also:

Be be very careful with these people., usually they have their own plans for building relationships.

2. Your chosen one does not look you in the eye.

Not so long ago, through a series of experiments, British scientists found that in just one second, when people meet eyes, they exchange an amount of information comparable to what is obtained three hours of live communication. A direct look into the eyes always speaks of the sincerity and open intentions of your interlocutor.

We do not claim that this is the main signal, because a person may have different reasons why, when communicating with you, builds a "cross-eyed". But still ... Would you like to communicate with a person who, saying that he loves you, looks at another person? =D Purely on a psychological level, you will think that he is hiding something from you, not completely sincere ...

3. Partner in your presence humiliates and criticizes other people.

Maybe some people like to listen to criticism and humiliating words addressed to others, but those who are friends with common sense will be very alert. If a person in your presence begins to do this, know that a little time will pass and in the circle of his friends, they will know everything about you and your personal life. This person has already crossed the line once and now considers it permissible to humiliate others, believe me, you will be the next.

Read also:

We have met more than once people who, with “their own”, ridiculed their loving half. If you have honor and dignity - tell me what makes you uncomfortable when you are humiliated and criticized by others.

4. An important symptom is the irritability and incontinence of the partner.

Most recently, we talked with a family who already have two children. The man in this family has long become like a monkey, which, at the slightest annoyance, begins to destroy everything in the house. Women, believe me, children will not save your relationship if a man is irritable and not restrained. Get ready for the fact that you will be humiliated, laid a hand and mocked in every possible way ... This is from personal observation.

“Give freedom to what you love. If it is yours, it will return to you. And if it doesn’t come back, then it was never yours.”

5. Excessive jealousy and suspicion.

This man was very jealous. No matter what his wife did, no matter what she did, he always suspected her of something. When the wife went out somewhere or talked with someone for a long time on the phone, he turned into a creepy warden who beat the whole truth out of the guilty. One day he found love letters in her table... Oh! How angry he was, because his suspicions were justified. Full of anger and jealousy, he severely beat his wife.

Greetings, dear readers. If you react very emotionally to any information that is contrary to your worldview, and also get offended more easily than the debaters of socio-political programs, do not read this article. Better save your nerves and close the page. Well, if you are always open to new information, then welcome, because. many for whom the reality will be shown here in no uncertain terms and with a slight touch of cynicism. We will analyze the following question: “Which men can not build relationships with?”.

Statistics show that both “correct” couples can be happy, where both are of the same nationality, approximately the same age, religion, etc., and “wrong”, where the lady is 15-16 years older than the gentleman, where “he is an atheist , and she is a Muslim”, where the girl is a researcher at the department, and the guy is an evil collector with criminal overtones.

In fact, the ability to communicate and acceptance decides - the less ideals you present to your chosen one / your chosen one and the better you know how to negotiate, the easier it will be for you to be together. Everything else is secondary.

Historical and political background

To understand what these beliefs are that interfere with romantic happiness, and where they even came from, let's look at history. The fact is that the tasks of rulers at all times were reduced to strengthening their own empire, serving their interests. The bigger and stronger the power, the “cooler” the king/emperor/chancellor/president feels. The problem is that in fact people are free and attempts to subdue their behavior by force after some time necessarily fail. We all remember the uprisings of slaves, working classes, etc.

At the same time, people (the people) want to be happy in love, to have prosperity, which is very contrary to the desires of the ruling elite. After all, the latter needs as much labor as possible, cannon fodder, brains working for the benefit of the nuclear potential, and just more hands on the production line. And this is very much contrary to the desires and aspirations of the individual.

The question arises: how to subordinate each person to the interests of officials, so that he thinks that these are his own interests. This is solved in the following way: some stereotypes are constantly systematically broadcast in different variations, leading away a person's aspirations from ensuring their personal happiness to satisfying bureaucratic needs.

The most banal example is military films, where, under the sauce of courage, courage and heroism, free military service is promoted for the sake of imperial gain.

It is precisely by being led by this propagandized worldview that people begin to follow it, completely forgetting that the relationship between the two is created in general for the sake of both being just fine. Let us first consider examples of beliefs on men, the carriers of which should not be met.

Real black men

Here I have included those representatives who are themselves quite strong personalities, but because of their ideas they cannot communicate normally without “quickies”. I must say right away that we are talking specifically about sex, happiness and psychological freedom in relationships - if all this is not of particular importance to you, then you can safely go into a relationship with the characters listed below. And here I'm not trying to offend anyone - I'm just telling in fact what to expect from the bearers of certain beliefs.

"Brainless female logic"

There are many people who adhere to the stereotype that women are dumber than men, and it is generally difficult to be with them, because they simply will not take seriously everything that their beloved thinks and says. And it will not be possible to come to any consensus with this “stubborn” precisely because he judges the intelligence of the interlocutor by her gender.

They usually adhere to such sexist positions as:

technology and mechanics - not a woman's business
the boss is a dork in a skirt
a woman with a cart is easier for a mare
etc

If an episode with this kind of phrase is a one-time one, then you can continue the novel and see what happens next. But if the behavior on these beliefs continues constantly, it is better to leave.

The husband should always command, and the wife should always obey.

Such a man is sure that the correct decisions are not those that most effectively resolve problems, but those that he himself made. In extreme cases, this is expressed in the fact that he does not allow his wife to even simply make any corrective proposals, considering this a manifestation of self-will.

In reality, a person cannot be an expert in everything, that is, there will always be some question in which Madame will show more knowledge and ingenuity. And for the greatest efficiency, it is necessary that both parties internally agree with the decision made (without any coercion).

The main task of any woman is to stand at the stove, wash smelly socks and panties, and also give birth to children.

The problem is that everyone has their own inner destiny, following which she can become a very cheerful person (and also share her joy with loved ones). But this social program completely kills in the bud any germs of female self-realization. And living with someone who, under beautiful fairy tales about family life, is trying not only to shove all the homework onto you, but also demands that you give up your career, study, business, you run the risk of dying.

All women are trying to gain something

Usually, those who cannot establish communication with sexy women, give them affection, sensuality, think so. Therefore, they come across mostly mercantile and prostitute-like young ladies.

And making generalizations based on them, loser pick-up artists believe that everyone needs only his money, benefits, status, which are not particularly there. As a rule, all communication with such a “male” is replete with purely unpleasant emotions, and therefore you need to stay away from them.

My partner owes me for life

But these are real tyrants and exploiters who do some large one-time favor in order to subsequently exploit a sense of duty (and sometimes guilt). For example, you met him when he fought off some extortionists from you, paid for the treatment of your mother, and made a couple of similar gestures. Time passed, and now he demands that you obey him in everything, because. You owe him everything. Now he will ride you all his life, adjusting to some of his ideals.

Mannish dependents

There is a whole cohort of gigolos, "mama's sons", pseudo-sick people who put pressure on pity and other individuals with reduced social responsibility. And they see relationships only as a source of certain material comforts. It’s worth deciding here: if you are satisfied with the format in which you drag a similar “hump” on your back in the form of a couch potato, then please go into such a relationship, because it most likely will not hamper your freedom very much. But if you understand that you are not very well with the “keeper” (oops, it turns out that this word is not in the dictionary!) You are not very well, and without him it would be no worse or even better, feel free to throw off such a burden from your back - let him take care of himself . I foresee that someone will object: "What if he is sick, and there is no one to take care of him." Well, if you consider that such a disabled person as Nick Vuychich himself rose from the bottom and became a millionaire (now his fortune is estimated at $ 110 million), it becomes clear that a person with less terrible pathologies can find enough strength in himself.

This is just the first part. In about 5 days, I will release the second part of the article, which will talk about girls that you should not date. And in it we will summarize everything that has been said. In order not to miss it, subscribe to the blog, and always be aware of updates. See you later!