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I stopped talking because of her relationship. A friend suddenly stopped talking - what to do? Stop talking completely

Friendship plays a huge role in the social life of a person. Friends are like-minded people whom we trust and turn to for advice and support in difficult moments of life. For many years they rejoice at all our victories and grieve with us during the period of failures.

With age, a person changes and develops, and his friendships also change. Unfortunately, not always for the better. Sometimes a friend no longer gives that positive, as before, and sometimes causes only negative emotions.

And you understand that your paths have diverged, and you want to stop communicating. But how to get rid of a friend tactfully, without tantrums and scandals? In this article, you can read about when to break up with a person. And what can be done to make the process painless for all parties.

Toxic Friendship

All girls who are thinking about how to get rid of a girlfriend should get acquainted with the term “toxic friendship”. Under this phrase, it is customary to understand such a format of relations in which you maintain a friendly relationship with a person, but at the same time something in communication does not suit you. The first sign of "toxic friendship" is the lack of pleasure from spending time together.

The whole tragedy of such "poisonous" bonds is that they are not easy to break. If a friend betrayed, deceived or said nasty things, then breaking up with her is easy. But what if there was nothing like that, but after each meeting you have a breakdown and self-esteem decreases? That is, there is an awareness that there are negative aspects in your relationship, but what to do about it is unknown.

When is it time to leave?

  1. Are these relationships changing me for the worse?
  2. Is this a temporary stage in the relationship or has this always happened, but I closed my eyes every time?
  3. There is a feeling that a friend enjoys my failures and problems?
  4. Are they using me?
  5. Does it feel like I'm constantly solving other people's problems?
  6. Have I lost friends because of this person?

If the answer to all questions is yes, then you should think about how to get rid of a bad friend. There are several good ways to do this.

Gradual reduction of communication

How to get rid of a girlfriend tactfully and without scandal? One of the best methods is to gradually reduce communication. The process is long, but the least painful. And you should not confuse it with completely ignoring your girlfriend - this will cause a violent reaction on her part.

With a gradual decrease, you spend less time together: if before the meetings were daily, reduce their number to 1-2 times a week, then to a couple of times a month, and then completely disappear from her life. So that there are no offenses, refer to the strongest employment and do not forget to come up with a believable legend. But it's best to really keep yourself busy with a job, a new hobby, or a sport. In general, "I'm sorry dear, but there is no time for you!"

This technique is good because with a decrease in the number of meetings, anger and irritation often disappear, and you understand that there were a lot of this person in your life. But when the meetings became more rare, your communication improved again. Here's how to get rid of an annoying girlfriend and not lose the person forever!

Straight Talk

Are you too much personal? Have you been friends for many years? You can’t imagine yourself without this person, but you don’t want to continue a “toxic” relationship?

If we talk about how to get rid of your best friend, then the best way out is a frank conversation. Think it over ahead of time. Write down on paper what you don't like. And express everything directly to your face - calmly, without insults and negative emotions.

If a friend begins to make excuses, she should be listened to. This is a good chance to start a constructive dialogue and understand what to do next. As a result of the conversation, you will have to listen to a lot of unpleasant things about yourself - after all, your best friend probably has accumulated her grievances, since no one is perfect.

After such a conversation, a new round of friendship is possible - updated, without old grievances. Or the final break.

It is important not to fall into the trap here: in one of the forms of "toxic" friendship, such conversations are conducted regularly, emotionally, and to the point of complete exhaustion. If you have repeatedly sorted things out with your best friend, then it is better to find another way to arrange a break.

Provocation

How to get rid of a girlfriend so that she was the initiator of the break? In fact, this is a rather dangerous, albeit effective method. Here it is important not to go too far and not to put pressure on a too sore spot, so as not to turn out to be a villain in the eyes of not only a former girlfriend, but also those closest to her.

What are we doing? We actively criticize a friend, but gently: we note an unsuccessful hairstyle, makeup, choice of clothes, etc. Do not forget to say that she is wrong - always and everywhere. We blurt out an "accidentally" awkward little secret - a small skeleton from the closet, but something small, but shameful. Then we apologize!

In general, we behave like a real "toxic" girlfriend, and very soon they will want to get rid of you.

Stop talking completely

Most often, girls are concerned about the question of how to get rid of an annoying girlfriend. A really annoying one that doesn't recognize your right to waste your personal time on other people too. Her hallmarks are an excess of free time and a lack of personal life, which she compensates for by listening to stories about your love relationships. She is often chatty and does not have other friends to fulfill her need for companionship. So you take the brunt.

In fact, such people are often unhappy. And some, only out of pity, continue to communicate, in fact, resigning themselves to the constant presence of a stranger in their lives. But not everyone is ready for such self-sacrifice.

Sometimes a method of gradually reducing communication works with annoying girlfriends - to an acceptable level, after which they become quite pleasant and welcome guests in your house.

But sometimes such people are not able to behave tactfully: they burst into your place, regardless of whether you are busy or not, do not listen to your words that you do not have time, and literally follow you everywhere and everywhere. They put pressure on pity, while being offended by ignored calls and messages. These people have no concept of personal boundaries. These are real energy vampires.

How to get rid of an obsessive girlfriend of this type? Here it is necessary to apply the tactics of complete ignore and disguise. Now you are not at home, you cannot answer calls, from now on it is strictly forbidden to call you at work, and at home your new boyfriend and your favorite hamsters interfere with communication. At random personal meetings, refer to employment, a despot husband, children that take all your strength, and exhausting work.

Over time, this person will find another donor victim, and she will have to listen to everything that excites this person at every second of time.

Communication after a breakup

How to get rid of a girlfriend, everyone has an approximate idea. But not every person realizes that this is only the first stage of a competent separation. The second is communication after the break and the reaction to questions from the inner circle.

An ex-girlfriend may have the same social circle with you, or you are colleagues, or studied together, so you will have to meet. You can even accidentally bump into the street. Therefore, we learn to respond to such meetings correctly: you should smile, say hello, exchange a couple of banal phrases and disperse. No deep personal conversations and long conversations!

When asking about the reason for the breakup, you should be tactful and not throw mud at your ex-girlfriend, even if she does this against you. You are a rock, flint, finally, just a good person and above all these showdowns!

Friends play a big social role in our lives: we trust them, we turn to them for support when we are depressed, we celebrate our successes with them. As we grow and develop, friendships can also change, unfortunately, sometimes not for the better. You may feel that your friendship has dried up. Most likely, you already have little in common, or perhaps friendship has begun to bring you negative emotions. Sometimes it becomes clear that such a relationship is time to end. But how to do this without unnecessary tantrums and scandals? In this article, we will help you figure out whether it is really worth ending friendships, and, if so, how to do it as gently as possible.

Steps

Rate Friendship

    Consider whether you really want to cut this person out of your life. Ending a friendship can have a pretty big impact on your (and his) life, so don't make hasty decisions if you're just angry. It is best to calm down, sit down and think; take a piece of paper and list the reasons why you are friends with this person, and then write down what you don't like. This will give a visual idea of ​​whether it is possible (and worthwhile) to keep the friendship or is it better to end it.

    Think about whether you want to end the friendship with the person or try to fix things, perhaps the conflict is based on strong personality changes. It is likely that both of you have changed a lot, and you no longer have common ground. For example, if you made friends in kindergarten and are now teenagers, chances are you have different interests and values ​​and are no longer compatible as friends.

    Watch for signs that the friendship is starting to get you into trouble. Toxic friendships are unhealthy relationships where you feel like you're constantly being taken advantage of. If a friend often insults you, envies you and your other friends, lowers your self-esteem, if you feel bad morally after talking with him, it is most likely time to end such friendship.

    Give your friend a chance to change. If the good things on your list outweigh the bad things, talk to a friend about the things that upset you, that hurt you. Perhaps these problems are quite simple to fix, and then you do not have to end the friendship. Remember that no one is perfect, maybe you could find ways to be a better friend too.

    Gradually stop talking

    1. Consider whether it's appropriate to end the friendship gradually and in stages, or if you just need to have a frank conversation with your friend. If this person is your best (or longtime) friend, you probably shouldn't use this tactic. If you're just looking to step back a bit (maybe move from friendship to buddy), phasing out communication might work. But if you want this person out of your life, the best thing to do is talk about it. However, you can get started by putting some distance between you.

      Be more unavailable. When a friend asks what your plans are, say you're busy. Tell him you can't spend time with him because you have homework/family time/religious activities to do. Try to talk on the phone with your friend less often and respond slowly to his messages. Conversations should be relatively short.

      • Remember that you can not be angry and harsh when communicating with a friend! You're not trying to hurt his feelings, so be polite and just say, "Sorry, I'm in a hurry right now!"
      • If you don't feel comfortable pretending to be busy when a friend calls you, then don't pretend: get really busy. Start doing something that is interesting to you, but not interesting to your friend. This way you can meet new people, get to know them, and have valid reasons not to spend your free time with this friend.
      • Spend time with your other friends, communicate with family and friends more often, go for walks.

    2. Do not share your thoughts with this friend. If in the past you always told your friend about your relationship with your fan or confided family problems to her, stop doing it. Now the conversations should be more superficial, mostly about work and study.

      • If a friend wants to talk to you about her boyfriend for hours, find a way to avoid this conversation or just try to keep it as short as possible. You can tell a friend that you are busy, that you can’t talk right now, and that you only have five minutes to chat with her, and then you definitely need to run errands.

    3. Don't make any hints on social media. If you immediately remove a friend / girlfriend from friends on a social network, all your subscribers will immediately understand that you have cut off contact with your friend, besides, this friend may not even know about it. If you abruptly delete your girlfriend from all social media, your decision to publicly end the friendship will ruin your plan to phase it out.

      • Instead of unfriending a person, simply "hide" your news and posts from them.

    Be frank

    1. Plan in advance what you are going to say. This is a difficult conversation, so it's better to immediately write down the reasons why you want to end the friendship, you can even write a script of actions. Since you are trying not to offend the person, the reasons should be clear and tactful, not just blaming the person.

      Sit next to a friend and tell them what's going on. If this person was your closest friend, this step must be taken in order to give him the opportunity to speak out. No need to send him an email or just a text message. Be direct (but not aggressive).

      Let a friend express her opinion. She may also have questions and complaints for you. She may become defensive, may start screaming, angry or crying. It's okay - let her give vent to emotions (but if she starts to show aggression - leave). In the end, you will feel relieved that you had the opportunity to talk to each other and say what you need, even if this moment was not easy for you.

    After the end of friendship

      Don't gossip if people ask you what's wrong. Others may notice that you no longer communicate and are not friends, they may ask what happened. You can say something general, like "we just stopped talking", but don't go into too much detail. Talking about how bad and stupid your friend was (regardless of the reason for breaking up the friendship) sounds very stupid and cruel.

    1. Be polite when meeting an ex-girlfriend by chance. Sometimes it can be quite embarrassing, perhaps a friend is angry and offended by you, but you should treat her with kindness and respect. Remember that this person was once your friend (perhaps even your best friend) - so be respectful of what you had in the past.

      • Don't do stupid things, don't ignore your ex-friend. Smile a little, nod at him, and move on.

Before taking such drastic measures, it is necessary to weigh all the pros and cons, sorting out in your own soul. Perhaps a person who vehemently no longer wants to communicate with his friend or buddy has harbored some kind of temporary resentment against him, which gives rise to thoughts in his mind about ending communication. Don't drive the horses! Perhaps this offense can be forgiven. If there is no other way out except breaking off relations, then you need to stop communicating with a person, if possible, in a polite manner, so as not to make enemies for yourself.

How to stop communicating with a person?

Talk to the person politely. This is perhaps the most straightforward way to solve the problem of relations with an objectionable person. For example, two men can just talk to each other, dot the i's. Women and children can do the same. A psychological effect will work here: the very fact that they don’t want to communicate with a person will force him to rise above his “opponent” and no longer bother him.

Don't be the first to make contact. Often this is what helps friendships fade. If one person no longer wants to communicate with another, then he just needs to stop contacting him. Not making contact means ignoring both personal communication and telephone conversations and even communication on social networks (via e-mail). However, this method does not guarantee a polite break in interpersonal relationships.

Do not respond to invitations. This method will allow two people to stop communicating with each other in a polite manner. The main thing to do is to reject any invitations from your friend (friend), referring to this or that employment. Most relationships end on their own. You can decline invitations by finding more solid reasons for this and explaining them so that everything is “fair” (a fishing trip, going to relatives for a birthday, etc.).

Late feedback. Some people break off relations with unwanted friends, girlfriends or buddies, defiantly responding to their messages on social networks (or SMS) with a noticeable delay. Of course, you don’t need to completely ignore the messages, but answering them with a delay of 1-2 days, and not verbose at all, is the truth! In this case, the objectionable interlocutor will either send his messages less and less often, or even immediately stop doing it.

Leave these people in the past, and you will feel how your life will change for the better.

1. People causing stress


You may feel stressed due to certain circumstances, but don't let the people you know stress you out. If there are individuals among those around you who cause only negative emotions, it's time to stop communicating with them. Life is already full of experiences, why do you need an extra source of negativity.

2. People who use you


3. People who don't respect you


All people deserve respect, and if there are people in your environment who do not respect you, stop communicating with them. You must have the self-respect not to allow yourself to be treated like this.

4. People who hurt you


People are stupid and hurt. As luck would have it, the most painful thing is the actions of those who care about you, to whom you are attached. If such a person does not understand the consequences of his actions and does not want to stop offending you, throw him out of life. Don't let anyone hurt you.

5. People who lie all the time


Lies of a person you trust can pretty much spoil your nerves. Get rid of the people you don't trust and life will become much easier.

6. People who smile in your face and spit in your back

People who pretend to be friends and say nasty things behind their backs have no place in your life. They will ruin your reputation and set you up in difficult times. It's time to say goodbye to such "friends".

7. People who don't care about you


There are honest people who really don't care about you, and they don't hide it. And there are those who only pretend that they care. They act like friends as long as it suits them, but if you ask them for help, they disappear immediately. Such friendship is dangerous, because it creates the illusion of trust, which is not there. In order not to be at the last moment without the necessary support, conduct an audit among friends.

8. People who take you back to the past


Life can be exciting and meaningful only when there is forward movement: we develop, work on ourselves, improve our knowledge, and seek happiness. But there are those who hold on to the past and prevent you from moving forward. You put in a lot of hard work and effort to change everything, and they bring you back to the old life you were trying to get away from. If progress and development is important, beware of such people.

9. People who hold you back


Over time, we all change: our goals, dreams and outlook on life develop, and with many people who were close, we are no longer on the way. It's sad, but such is life. Many old friends, or rather acquaintances, may not like the way you have changed. Egoists create an ideal world in which everyone must play by their rules. If you are not able to achieve the goal, perhaps the reason is that you are living by someone else's rules. Are your goals and dreams incompatible? So, life paths are also different.

10. People who waste their place in life


Life's possibilities are not unlimited: time, resources are quickly exhausted. We won't be able to do everything we plan to do. Therefore, you need to carefully choose not only things, but also the people with whom you will do them. When you spend time with stupid people, you will be doing stupid things instead of something important.

Leave such people in the past, and make real friends.

How to stop communicating with a person if life circumstances have developed like this? First of all, we mean social networks, because there are some nuances between reality and the virtual world. It is possible not to answer phone calls, not to greet at a meeting and not to pay attention in a company, but the obsessive presence of a certain person on the Internet can cause serious discomfort. How to make your life easier? About everything in order.

Why do people stop talking at all?

The most obvious answer is that they no longer need each other: they are either not interested together, or because of some unpleasant situation that has occurred.

  • Probably the most common reason is the breakup of a romantic relationship with all the ensuing consequences. Why once again look at the person who hurt you or feel the pangs of conscience yourself, looking at the portrait of the former (former). And then the emotions of jealousy, envy and just a stream of sad thoughts about the joint past also do not bring much pleasure.
  • There was a conflict that could not be resolved. In ordinary life, reconciliation is probably even easier than on social networks. Alas, it often happens that in our environment there are characters who, to put it mildly, are not very pleasant to us.
  1. Among them are obsessive commentators (whose wit can be argued for hours) who regularly raid the “victim” page to provoke some kind of flood.
  2. There are unemployed and carefree chatterboxes who come up with their "Hi How Are You" more often than we would like. Or they ask inappropriate questions about your personal life or ask about others, fishing for information for gossip. It's hard to even call them "friends", but nevertheless, out of the kindness of our hearts, we add them to our friend list. And then we puzzle over how to stop communicating with a person who is annoying? If it turns out to be generally inadequate, then it is easier, of course, to block it immediately.
  • Many do not keep in touch with old friends from their previous job or place of study, because they have become too different, and everyone has their own life. It's completely normal, it happens all the time. Few people are friends from school to retirement, for example. These are exceptional stories when a person manages to meet such a kindred spirit. So why not stop communicating with unnecessary people and open up to new acquaintances? We offer some tips for users of Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki and other social networks.

Look for even more articles on a variety of topics about the Odnoklassniki social network on our portal http://odhelp.ru

How to stop communicating with a person?

  • If we are talking about someone who is not indifferent to you, and with whom you valued communication some time ago, then it is better to start from afar. If that user has not yet unfriended you himself, then first we recommend removing his updates from the list of your news (select the setting "Hide source news \ Do not show ..."). Such a psychological technique will help you gradually get used to the idea that you now have different paths, and in time you will be able to calmly go about your business further.
  • The easiest way to stop communicating with an unpleasant person is to remove him from friends. Then no one will have to explain anything, and you can just pretend that it happened, and you don’t know each other at all and have never known each other. But this is an extreme measure, which must be resorted to with absolute certainty that the contact deserves such treatment.
  • If the person turned out to be too intrusive and haunts you with his messages, then he can be blocked. The procedure for adding a person to ignore is nothing complicated. Vkontakte needs to go to the settings and click on the "Add to blacklist" button, as shown in the screenshot.