Professional publications of doctors 

Rules of family education. Consultation for parents "Basic Rules of Family Education

For a long history of the family's existence, extremely many observations of the education of children are accumulated; Of these, important conclusions flow, which can be conditionally classified as common patterns of education of children in the family. And although they still do not have signs of a natural link, but in their status are above primary factors and simple conclusions. Of these, the advice of parents, the Rules of Family Education.

What prevents how to establish effective family education?

First, heredity. If parents had problems in childhood, they should be prepared that these problems will be repeated in their offspring. Secondly, and this is already subject to parents ,? Changeable and constantly accurate living conditions. In the life of the parents there was no much of what appeared in the life of their children. Hence the overwhelming number of problems. Thirdly, a constantly declining culture of family education, where the low pedagogical culture of parents takes a small part. Here and the departure from folk pedagogy, traditions and upbringing.

On this general basis, thousands of specific dependencies are manifested between the parental influence and quality of child education. In this regard, I.P. Sub-clause allocates several general rules and recommendations in raising children:

1. The priority of the nearest circle is based on the fact that the power of the influence of people on each other is directly proportional to the degree of their proximity. Installations of the nearest circle of communication for us weighing and stronger than the norm of disposal communities, including society as a whole. Consequently, the family gives parents the greatest chance to make their children happy.

2. It is very important to love children and they will become educated without additional effort.

3. In family education, it is highly useful to apply the reception of the crisis, which requires that in dangerous and unattended, with an unknown outcome of situations to consciously exacerbate relationships, bringing them to "pseudo-crisis", where the situation is still keen under control and can be corrected by the child's behavior.

4. The "bare king" rule in pedagogical interpretation can be transferred to the words of the Senior Canton: "The teacher who will perform what he teaches." Therefore, teachers advise to require children only what you can serve as an example.

5. It is always necessary to remember the dependence of the "definition of the relationship", when the perception of the event depends not at all on the event, but on the stereotype of perception. That is, getting used to looking at the actions of children condemning, the act itself is no longer differentiated. For example, the fact of the teenager return after 8 h is always condemned, but it can be important reasons.

6. It is necessary to follow the principle of "inertia of the question" and give the child a relaxation at the beginning of any case. Next, you need to increase the requirements and eventually cancel the odds. "The feeling of the holiday" has the property of long-term resistance, and the child will remember him even when the occasion itself disappears.

7. Many failures in the raising of children have the same reason - an increase in the amount coordinated together. The "little things" collected together is already determined by the "man", but his "true face". The image of the student who has developed in the consciousness of the teacher is generalized, and therefore inaccessible to specific education. The family must insist on the exclusiveness of their child and force the teachers to be accompanied to him.

8. Smoothness and graduality are important principles of education of children. You will get slightly sharpness and onslaught and a lot - smooth perseverance, patient graduality. "Explosion" is recommended to practice very rarely and carefully.

9. It is useful to use in the practice of family education "Pareto dependence": for the first 20% time limit, a person reaches 80% of the result, and for the remaining 80%? Only 20% of the result. Consequently, the upbringing "after" is ineffective.

10. Finally, it is necessary to take into account the factors of accessibility, simplicity and evidence. It is not necessary to complicate the pedagogical impact of unnecessary details, explanations and oceans. The requirement should be clearly delivered and clearly performed.

The correct, the basis of which is the adoption of children as they are, their support, the unconditional love for them and care for them will avoid the early school deadaption of children. Considering this, we recommend parents rules of family education.

1. Increase child self-esteem:

Treat your child as an absolutely self-sufficient person, respect it. Your tone and style of communication with the child must convince him that he is a valuable person, a full-fledged person, so there is respectful, without humiliation and insults;

Show love in a relationship with the child, as can be clearer explain to the child what you want from it;

Avoid the words "always" and "never." "You always think about yourself!" "You never come from the street in time" - such phrases convince the child in the inability to behave differently. It is better to say so: "Sometimes I feel that you forget about others," "I know you get rid of this bad habit and become polite (polite), good (good), loving (loving) boy (girl), respecting others ";

Teach the child to compensate everything that degrading his dignity. Help him to direct my efforts to achieve success in the sphere where he is strong - in music, sports, visual art, etc. so that the child can, for example, say to himself: "Perhaps I'm counting not the best in the group, but I I sing very well ";

- rail a child self confidence. Do not forget that the child, like each person has the right to make a mistake.

2. Correct the actions of preschoolers:

Teach children responsible for the perfect actions: you should give the child the opportunity to understand the detected, appreciate it. Discuss only a deed and its result, and not humiliate the dignity of the child or point out the deficiencies of the person;

Do not use indictment phrases like: "You're tired!", "Why did you do it again?". But to use phrases from which the ratio of parents follows, and not to the child: "I am unpleasant when you talk to me so much" "I hurt when the neighbors complain about you";

The tone, which proclaims the requirement or prohibition, should be more friendly, explaining than forced;

Evaluate not only actions, but also their motives;

Do not disregard the right deeds of the child: they deserve approval.

3. Weigly feel about punishment of a child:

Before punishing the child, always listen to his explanations about what happened, and try to understand, and then evaluate his act;

Punishment should not be excessive and too long in time;

Do not use cruel physical punishment;

Explain the child for which he was punished for him to understand the consequences of his actions;

Let's understand the child that you love him that you are not satisfied with himself, but his behavior.

4. Install the trust relationship between all family members:

Do not tolerate interpersonal conflicts of adults on a relationship with the child;

Recognize your own mistakes in education and adjust your relationship with the child accordingly;

Treat your child as a full member of the family with its duties and rights;

Develop child responsibility, educate the child the ability to take care of others;

Give your child from time to time gifts and arrange holidays, because it is from this pre-school children get more joy;

Always talk to the child sincerely, frankly, apply information available to it. It is impossible to deceive the child, just because it is still small, which means that it is not able to understand something;

Avoid empty promises: your promises need to do your promises;

Always emotionally support the child;

Learn a child to express your anger, because the outbreak of the feelings of aggression can cause damage to the adaptation of the child and lead to various painful manifestations - first of all, psychosomatic (abdominal pain, pressure increase, etc.). Therefore, the child needs to be learn to civilize their feelings of protest, disagreement, irritation, malice, as well as the feeling of guilt, shame, grief, joy.

5. Prepare a child to school life in advance:

Support the child in the desire to become a schoolboy, show interest in his affairs and achievements, help the future first-grader to confirm the significance of its future and activities;

Discuss with the child those norms and rules with which he will face at school. Explain it the feasibility of these rules, organize the rational routine of the day of the future first grader;

Try to foresee and prevent those problems that may arise from a child to the first stage of training;

Emotionally maintain the desire of the future first grader to succeed, approving him: "Well done!", "How good!";

Respect the opinion of your child about the tutor: For children of senior preschool age, the educator is often more authoritative than parents;

Do not frighten the child with school, but do not forget that study is not easy and responsible work. Admission to school will significantly change the life of a child, but it will not deprive his joy, games. Let's understand the future first-grader that he will have time and for entertainment.

People pupil without parental caress, often crippled people.

A. S. Makarenko

Plan:

1. The effect of the atmosphere of family life on the process and the result of education of the personality.

2. Characteristics of family policies and demographics in Russia.

3. Relationships of the family and school in the educational process.

4. Family education and family law.

Basic concepts:family, family upbringing, family functions, types of family education, family types, pedagogical culture of parents, family law.

Topic 1. "The influence of the atmosphere of family life on the process and the result of the education of the personality"

Family is one of the main tools that ensure the interaction of the personality and society, the integration and definition of their priority of their interests and needs. She gives a person to the idea of \u200b\u200blife and values, about what you need to know and how to behave. In the family, the young citizen receives the first practical skills to apply these ideas in relationship with other people, correlates its other people with me, assimilates the norms that regulate the behavior in various situations of everyday communication. Explanations and instructions of the parents, their example, the whole way in the house, the family atmosphere produces the habit of behavior and the criteria for the assessment of good and evil, worthy and unworthy, fair and unfair.

The fact that the child in the orphanage acquires in the family, he retains throughout the subsequent life. The importance of the family as the Institute of Education is due to the fact that in it the child is in the most significant period of his life, and on the strength and duration of its impact on the identity, none of the institutions of education can not compare with the family. It lay the foundation of the child's personality, and he has already formed as a person to enter the school.

The family can act as a positive and negative factors of education. The positive impact on the identity of the child is that no one, besides the closest people in the family in the family - parents, grandparents, brother, sisters, does not apply to the child better, does not like him and does not care so much about him. And at the same time, no other social institution can potentially apply so much harm in the raising of children as a family can make. So, ambitious parents often suppress their children to such an extent, that this leads to the emergence of the feelings of inferiority; The unrestrained father, leaving himself in the slightest matter, often, without knowing, forms a similar type of behavior from his children.

Currently, family problems are studying many sciences: Economics, law, sociology, demography, psychology, pedagogy, etc. Each of these sciences in accordance with his subject identifies those or other parties to its functioning and development. Pedagogy considers the educational function of the family of modern society from the point of view of the goals and means, the rights and obligations of parents, the interaction of parents in the process of raising children with the school and other children's institutions, reveals the reserves and costs of family education and the ways of their compensation.

Family is a socio-pedagogical group of people intended for optimal satisfaction of self-preservation needs (continuing) and self-affirmation (self-esteem) of each of its member. The family creates a person's concept at home not just as the premises where he lives, but as a feeling, the sensations where they love, understand, protect.

TO basic functionsfamilies include:

generative functionconducted by the need to continue
Human kind, which is not only a biological need,
But also has tremendous economic importance to preserve the population.
. The family without children is spiritually inferior.

The quality of the health of the population, the level of health development in the country, etc., is influenced by the family of health, the level of health care in the country, etc. According to experts, 10-15% of the adult population is not able to have children due to the unfavorable environmental impact on them, the wrong lifestyle, diseases, bad nutrition, etc.;

Function primary socializationpupils are due to
that born children carry only deposits, prerequisites, signs
"Indeed man." In order for the child to gradually entered into general
so that its deposits manifest themselves, communication and activities are necessary
It is in the family as a primary and initial social unit.

The family affects the socialization of children not just the very fact of its existence, but a favorable moral and psychological climate, healthy relations between all its members;

1.economic and householdfunction. Historically, the family has always been the main economic cell of society. The depth socio-economic changes that occur in Russian society, re-activate the sides of the economic and economic and household function, which were almost listed by the previous development. The accumulation of property, the acquisition of property and the problems of its inheritance increase the role of the family in economic relations;

2.gedonisticthe function that is also called the function of healthy sexual relations is related to the presence of a general-biological sexual need for a person, the satisfaction of which is also important as food needs, dwelling, etc. Surface attitude to physical proximity, irregular relations with random partners outside the family are not Just deprive the physical love of her psychological wealth and depths, but also entail sad criminal or medical consequences;

3.recreational and psychotherapeuticfamily function is due to the fact that the family is the sphere of absolute security, the absolute acceptance of a person, regardless of his talents, life success, financial position, etc. Healthy, non-conflict family is the most reliable support, the best asylum, where a person can hide from everyone Farm not always friendly external world.

Education of children is not only the personal matter of parents, everything is interested in it. Family education is part of public education, but part is very significant and unique. The uniqueness of her, firstly, is that it gives the "first lessons of life", which lay the foundation for leadership to action and behavior in the future, secondly, in the fact that family education is very effective, since it is carried out continuously and At the same time covers all sides of the emerging personality. It is based on sustainable contacts and emotional relations of children and parents among themselves. Moreover, it is not only about the natural feelings of love and trust, but also about the feelings of children of their safety, security, the ability to share experiences, receive assistance from adults. The family is the main habitat and life of children in the early period of their lives, which largely retains this quality and in subsequent periods. In the process of family communication, the life experience of older generations, the level of culture, samples of behavior is transmitted.

In this way, family education is a system of upbringing and education, developing in the context of a specific family and the forces of parents and relatives.

Family education is a complex and multifaceted system. It is influenced by heredity and biological (natural) health of children and parents, material and economic security, social status, lifestyle, the number of family members, place of residence, attitude towards the child. All this is organically intertwined and in each particular case manifests itself in different ways.

Purposefamily education is the formation of personal qualities that will help painlessly adapt to adulthood, worthy of overcome difficulties and obstacles found in the life path.

What are the same tasksfamily education?

They are to:

Create maximum conditions for the growth and development of the child;

4. Transfer the experience of creating and preserving families, educating children and attitudes towards elders;

5. Teach children with useful applied skills and skills aimed at self-service and help close;

1. Rift a sense of self-esteem, the values \u200b\u200bof your own Ya. The most common principlesfamily education are:

humanity and mercy to a growing person;

Involvement of children in family life as equal

participants;

1. Openness and confidence in the family relationship; Optimality of family relationships;

2. The sequence of senior in their requirements;

3. Providing assistance to the child, willingness to answer questions. In addition to these principles, there are a number of private rules, not less

meaningful for family education: the prohibition of physical punishments, not moralize, not to demand immediate obedience, not to indulge et al.

The central place in family education occupies moral education. First of all, it is the education of such qualities as goodwill, kindness, attention, mercy to people, honesty, hardworking.

In recent years, the role of religious education in the family with his cult of human life and death is increasing, with many sacraments and rituals.

The basis of family education is a love for the child. Pedagogically appropriate parental love is the love of Qreenka in the name of his future, unlike love in the name of satisfying their own momentary parental feelings. Sleeping, unreasonable parental love creates consumerism in children, neglect of the car, dulls the feeling of gratitude and love for parents.

Several types are isolated incorrect family education.

Non-nestor, uncontrolcity.This type is most often characteristic of parents, unnecessarily employed by their affairs paying due attention to children. As a rule, in such families, children are provided by themselves, often affect the influence of negative social environmental factors ("street companies" and others).

Hyperopka.With this type, the child's life is under alert and tireless supervision, it constantly faces numerous prohibitions. As a result, the child gradually becomes indecisive, the misinterpretative, insecure in his abilities, can not stand up for himself. Often in children, especially in adolescents, it is poured into the riot against parental domination, they can fundamentally violate bans. Another type of hyperophek is to upbringing the type of "idol" family. The child gets used to being in the center of attention, his desires, requests are unquestioned, they are admired, and as a result, it was not in a sense, he is not able to correctly appreciate its capabilities, overcome his egocentrism. In the team, such a person is hardly adapted.

Education by type of Cinderella.This type of family education is characterized by indifference of parents to their children, coldness, emotional rejection. The child feels that his father or his mother does not like him, they will seem to them, although it may seem from the part that parents are quite attentive and kind to him. The child is experiencing especially strongly when someone else from family members love more. Such a situation contributes to the emergence of neuroses, excessive sensitivity to non-vitrates or the omble of children.

"Hard education."For the slightest primacy, the child is severely punished, and it grows in constant fear. K. D. Ushinsky noted that fear is the most abundant source of defects: cruelty, adaptability, please, etc.

Education in conditions of increased moral responsibility.Since small years, the child inspires the idea that he must justify the numerous ambitious hopes of parents, or the non-alto the unbearable worries are assigned to him. As a result, such children appear obsessive fears, a constant anxiety for their well-being and loved ones. In such cases, neurotic breakdowns are possible, it is difficult for relations with others.

Hazardous treatment syndrome.This is one of the most unacceptable types of family education associated with physical punishments of children when children are affected by fear. Physical punishment causes physical, mental, moral injuries, which ultimately lead to a change in the behavior of the child. Most often, boys are subject to physical punishment. Subsequently, they themselves often become cruel. They start to humiliate others, beat, mock.

The most favorable option of the relationship between parents with children, when they experience a steady need in mutual communication, show frankness, mutual trust, equality in relationships, when parents know how to understand the world of the child, its age requests. Smaller orders, teams, threats, reading morality, and more ability to listen to each other, the desire for the search for joint decisions is the pledges of effective family upbringing.

Topic 2. "Characteristics of family policies and demographics in Russia"

In order to better understand the educational potential of the family, you need to know type of family. There are various classifications of families of families. Depending on the structure of related links, it is allocated simplefamily, which is a married couple with children, not married. If some of the children are married, another type is formed - extended, or complex family!It includes three or more generations living together and associated with the general economy. An important basis for the allocation of the family type is also the presence of both spouses forming the family core. Depending on this allocate full familywhich includes both spouses and incomplete familyin which one of the spouses is missing.

There is a classification of families not only in composition, but also by the nature of relationships in them. Yu. P. Azarov divides family to three types: ideal, medium, negative.M. I. Bujanov distinguishes such types of the family: harmonious, disintegrating, broken, incomplete.Families are also distinguished prosperous, pseudo-biological and unfavorable,in which there are obvious shortcomings in the upbringing.

Instead of abstract opposition to "prosperous" and "disadvantaged" families, sociologists and criminologists distinguish families with different educational potential. M. Minkovsky highlights 10 types of families on this basis:

1. Educationally strong;

2. Educationally stable;

3. Educatively unstable;

1. Educationally weak with loss of contact with children and control over them;

2. Educationally weak with a constant conflict atmosphere;

3. Educational weak with aggressive-negative atmosphere;

4. Marginal: with alcohol, sexual demoralization;

5. Office

6. Criminal;

7. Mentally burdened.

In families first typethe share of which in the entire contingent of the surveyed G. M. Minkovsky families is 15-20%, the educational situation is close to optimal. The main sign is a high moral atmosphere in the family. This is more important than a formal full family, although the likelihood of unlawful behavior of children from incomplete families is 2-3 times higher than from families with a conventional structure.

Second Typefamilies (35-40% of the sample) creates in general the beneficial opportunities for education, and the difficulties arising in the family and disadvantages are overcome with the help of other social institutions, first of all school.

For third typefamilies (10% of the sample) are characterized by the wrong pedagogical position of the parents, which is nevertheless aligned due to the relatively high common educational potential of the family.

Fourth Type(15-20% of the sample) unites families where parents for various reasons (poor health, overload work, lack of pedagogical culture) are not able to correctly educate children, lost control over their behavior and interests.

Other typesfamilies (10-15% samples) are from a socio-pedagogical point of view negative, and often criminogenic. The risk of offenses of minors raised in the situation of permanent and acute conflicts and in mentally burdened families, 4-5 times, and in families where aggressiveness and cruelty reign, are 9-10 times higher than those who grow in pedagogically strong and strong and Sustainable families. The point is not only in the neglect, with which 80% of crimes is associated, but also that children perceive the behavior of the senior family members as a normal, usual, emotionally identified with their parents and reproduce the stereotypes of their behavior without thinking about how correctly they are correct from the point The Company's view.

It is impossible to definitely answer the question of which type of family, for example, depending on the structure of related links, is better suited for solving the tasks of education. In any one there are their advantages and disadvantages. So, in a simple family, the younger generation gets used to greater independence and responsibility, there are fewer conflicts between generations. However, a link between generations and children are rapidly violated in a similar family, family traditions, uniting adults and children, the older generation disappears the possibility of communicating with "their grandchildren, the participation in care of their upbringing is declining. In the complex family there are also positive and negative sides. With one The parties, a big friendly family, which includes several generations, creates an opportunity for versatile communication and mutual influence, facilitates life. On the other hand, in matters of education, different generations can diverge in views, which often causes violent clashes in the family, creates dramatic situations from which before Found children suffer.

Unfortunately, the possibilities of the modern Russian family are complicated by socio-economic difficulties. An unstable financial situation, the threat of unemployment and the accompanying unemployment material and psychological problems, the increase in household loads affect the degree of satisfaction with the marriage. An unfavorable moral and psychological climate is reflected in relations between children and parents, which complicates the process of their socialization.

In the 90s. There was a tendency to grow socially disadvantaged families. The reasons that cause dysfunction of family relations are very diverse:

8. economic(The cost of living below the poverty line; low wage or its failure; unemployment, etc.);

9. asocial("Alcoholism of a family or one of its members, drug addiction, prostitution);

10. psychological(cruelty, aggressiveness, jealousy, marital infidelity, greed, impassional characteristics);

11. medical("Chronic infectious and venereal diseases, mental and sexual deviations, etc.).

The number of lone mothers and their children is growing. So, if in 1993 the proportion of children born in Russia in women not in a registered marriage was 18%, then in 1998 it exceeded 25%. This means that every year every fourth-fifth newborn becomes a child from an incomplete family, as usual to a risk group.

Annually, according to the State Statistics Committee, 500-600 thousand marriages fall apart, forming incomplete families, and almost as many children under the age of 18 become children of families of risk. In Moscow at the end of the 90s. The accounting consisted of 6.4 thousand families of the risk group, in which parents abused alcohol, conducted an antisocial lifestyle, were not engaged in raising children.

In 1999, more than 160 thousand cases in relation to parents who do not ensure the proper development and education of children were considered by commissions for minors in 1999. For the same period, almost 150 thousand parents who are not committed to raising children were registered with the internal affairs bodies.

According to the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia, in 2001, the number of minors delivered to the internal affairs bodies was 1.16 million adolescents, of which more than 300 thousand - for drinking alcohol or appearance in public places in a state of intoxication and almost 22 thousand. - for the use of narcotic and informants. In the same year, the Ministry of Internal Affairs registered almost 2.4 million crimes committed by minors. Teenagers make up the most criminally active part of the population.

Catastrophic dimensions have acquired social orphanhood juvenile. According to sociological studies, from 2 to 4 million street children are engaged in vagrancy, begging.

Complex socio-economic situation in the country, which prevail in the 90s. And negatively affected at the Institute of Family and Marriage, forced the Government to develop economic and social programs, as well as a complex of emergency measures to protect family and childhood. Legislative measures were taken in this direction, in particular "on additional measures to protect motherhood and childhood" (1992), "On increasing the size of social benefits and compensatory payments" (1992).

"On measures for social support for large families" (1995). In 1994, the federal program "Children of Russia" is approved. It includes a series of targeted programs: "children with disabilities", "children of refugee families and forced displaced persons", "family planning" and others.

Unfortunately, continuing economic problems do not allow the state to fully finance programs aimed at social protection of family and childhood.

Topic 3. "Family Relationships and Schools in the Educational Process"

Family and school are two main and equal subjects of personality socialization during childhood and adolescence. Speaking about the relationship between school and family, first of all it is important to note that they should be based on the principles of relationship, mutual interaction and complementance in educational activities. Not to distinguish between functions, not a decrease in the responsibility of the family, but the deepening of the educational process due to the inclusion of a pedagogical team is the only right way to improve the quality of education and education. The parental public should feel like an associate of a pedagogical team in the development and implementation of specific educational tasks, pedagogical impact programs, taking into account the contingent of this educational institution and its family-household environment.

In the process of interconnection, not only teachers should pay the attention of parents for disadvantages in the methods and content of family education, but also parents to indicate teachers for similar "failures" in school. However, mutual criticism must be reasonable and constructive. Not general words, but concrete facts and suggestions should lay on it.

The object of exposure to teachers may be not only a child in the family, but also adult family members and the family itself as a whole as a team.

The activities of pedagogical teams with family include three main components of pedagogical assistance: educational, psychological, intermediary,which are inextricably linked.

Let us dwell on the characteristics of each of the components.

Educationthe component includes two areas of activity: family assistance in learning and raising children.

Help in learningit is aimed at preventing the problems of parenting culture emerging in the family and the formation of parenthetic culture.

The activities of pedagogical teams involves education of parents on a variety of family education issues:

12. Pedagogical and socio-psychological preparing parents for the education of future children;

14. Relationships of various generations in the family, methods of pedagogical impact on children, formation of positive relations between children and adults;

15. Education of children in the family, taking into account sex and age;

16. Socio-psychological problems of education of pedagogically launched children, the problems of the negative impact of hopelessness andhomelessness of the child's psyche;

17. Essence of self-education and its organization, the role of the family in the management of the process of self-education of children and adolescents;

18. Promotion and punishment in the education of children in the family;

19. The most common mistakes of parents in raising children;

20. Features of education of children with disabilities in physical and mental development;

21. Labor education in the family, helping the child in choosing a profession;

22. Organization of the regime of labor, study, rest and leisure children in the family;

23. Moral, physical, aesthetic, sexual education of children;

24. Development of ideas about childcare;

25. Causes and consequences of children's alcoholism, toxicizing and addiction, prostitution, the role of parents in the existing pediatric pathology, the relationship of children's health with the asocial preferences of the parents.

Along with the transfer of these kinds of knowledge, teachers can organize practical classes, helping to greatly increase the role of the family in raising children.

Help in raisingit is conducted by educators primarily with parents - by consulting them, as well as with the child - through the creation of special educational situations to solve the task of timely assistance to the family in order to strengthen its strengthening and the most complete use of its educational potential.

The main spheres of family life in which the educational function is being implemented are the areas of parental debt, love and interest.

Psychologicalthe component of pedagogical assistance includes two components: social and psychological support and correction.

Socio-psychological supportdirected to the creation of a favorable microclimate in the family during the period of short-term crises. The most effectively this work can be performed by a school psychologist. Help must be comprehensive: the problem is determined, interpersonal relationships in the family are analyzed, the situation in it is a child. With the help of various techniques, those reasons in the family, which lead to conflict are detected.

Correctioninterpersonal relations occurs mainly when the family has mental violence over the child, leading to a violation of its neuropsychic and physical condition. This type of violence refers to intimidation, insulting the child, humiliation of his honor and dignity.

Intermediarythe component of pedagogical assistance includes three components: assistance in organizing, coordination and informing in matters of family education.

Help in the organizationdirected on the organization of family leisure, including: organizing clubs in interests, family holidays, summer holidays, etc.

Help in coordinationaims to activate various departments and services to jointly resolve the problem of a specific family and the provisions of a particular child in it. There may be such problems: the transfer of a child to education in the reception family; monitoring the process of adapting a child in this family; Placing children in shelters, seats of temporary stay of children; Promoting the return of a child in a family and others.

Assistance in informingaims to ensure family information on learning and education, social protection. It is carried out in the form of counseling. Questions may concern various aspects: the rights of children, parents, intra-family relations, medical and physiological development of children, etc.

In this way, the teacher in working with the family performs simultaneously a number of roles: "Advisor:informs family about the importance and possibility of the interaction of parents and children in the family; talks about the features of the child's development; gives pedagogical tips on raising children and others;

consultant:consults on family legislation issues on interpersonal interaction in the family; informs about the existing methods of education focused on a specific family; explains to parents how to create the conditions necessary for the normal development and education of the child in the family, and others;

defender:protects the rights of the child in the case when it is necessary to deal with the full degradation of the personality of the parents (alcoholism, drug addiction, ill attitude towards children) and the problems of unrelated life arising from this, the human relationship of parents for children.

Various studies indicate that not all modern young parents own the methodology for the upbringing of their children. Among the causes of such a phenomenon, A. P. Sitnitis allocates the following:

Singleness and low-rise (especially in urban conditions) leads to the fact that people do not receive practical skills to care and upbringing for their brothers and sisters, have no experience of family relationships;

Life is browned with the older generation deprives young families with the opportunity to enjoy the wisdom of senior in matters of education of children;

It is thoroughly lost traditions of folk pedagogy;

If earlier in the conditions of the village, where all people knew each other, the parents were ashamed to have unspansive children, and to children to behave unworthy, then in the context of the city the autonomy of the communication of children and adults intensified;

The emerging social and economic difficulties, material insecurity of families reduce the level of intra-emotional emotional attitude, increases the conflict in the family, worsens family relations and upbringing.

These reasons dictate the need to enhance work to increase the pedagogical culture of parents, under which the sufficient level of their pedagogical, psychological, physiological knowledge from the sciences about a person, as well as the formed skills and skills of family and public education of children, taking into account their individual and age differences (M. E. Ivanova, G. N. Pashkevich).

An important component of the pedagogical culture of parents is their pedagogical preparedness; A certain amount of psychological and pedagogical, physiological and hygienic and legal knowledge, as well as the skills to raise children developed during the practice of practice.

Pedagogical activity of parents is divided into constructive, organizationaland communication.

Constructive activityit is primarily in determining the goal of education, in choosing its forms and methods. It also includes the preparation of a plan of its own education.

Organizational activityimplements constructive in practice. It includes, on the one hand, the organization of life and occupations of children (regime, work, homework, sports, etc.), on the other - the organization of its own activities and recreation (work in the household, childcare, rest, Public work on raising children, etc.).

Communicative activityincludes the establishment of an optimal relationship between parents, parents and children, family members and others.

The interaction of all these types of pedagogical activity largely determines level of pedagogical mastery of parents.

An important component of pedagogical skill is pedagogical tactcharacterized by thoughtful and attentive attitude towards children, the ability to be sensitive, fair, but also demanding.

The most important areas of school work to increase the pedagogical culture of parents are the following:

26. scientific Pedagogical Enlightenment(lectures for parents, parental knowledge universities, parental meetings for the exchange of experience, the study of media materials);

27. pedagogical activityassociated with the implementation of controlling, communicative, organizational, corrective and other functions related to participation in a variety of cases to raise children;

28. pedagogical self-education("Reading scientific and pedagogical literature, watching television programs, etc.).

The practical implementation of the increase in the pedagogical culture of parents includes the following main links:

29. Common familiarization of the entire adult population with the basics of education primarily through the media;

30. Preparation of boys and girls to family life in high school schools, vocational education institutions;

31. Preparation of parents to raising preschool children - in pre-school educational institutions;

32. Preparation of parents to educate students - in schools, professional educational institutions;

33. Preparation of teachers and educators to work with parents - in universities, courses, seminars, etc. (I. V. Grebennikov).

Many institutions and organizations participate in the work on the increase in pedagogical culture. But the first violin in this work is played by the school. She is a leading public institution in the education of the younger generation, and the family is its closest ally.

Let us dwell on specific methods and forms of working with parents. They are determined by the following factors: the level of pedagogical culture of parents, types of family relations, the specifics of the school work, the age characteristics of children, etc. As a rule, allocate mass(pedagogical lectures; scientific and pedagogical conferences for parents; conversations for the "round table"; evenings of questions and answers; parent meetings and conferences), group(work with the parent committee of class, schools; advice for parents of boys or girls; psychological and pedagogical seminars for parents; group conversations; practitioners for parents) and individual(Pedagogical consultations taking into account the age and individual characteristics of children; visiting families of students in order to study the life and life of the guys, the nature of family education) forms of work.

Pedagogical skills and skills to raise children are formed by workshops for parents.They can be carried out both at the end of parent lectors and meetings and as an independent form of work. In the course of workshops, parents can offer the following tasks: to make a schoolboy's day mode; characterize the individual features of his child; Based on read fragments, analyze the attitude towards self-service and labor of children in their own family; After listening to a number of fragments about the use of various methods of encouraging and punish children in the family, comment on these statements, express your attitude towards them. Parliament practitioners make it possible to comprehensively share experiences on various aspects of family education.

One of the most common mass forms of work on the formation of pedagogical culture of parents are school and cool parent meetings.Unfortunately, they are often reduced only to the discussion of behavior and student performance. At the same time, as practice is evidenced, parental meetings can play an important role in pedagogical education of parents. Already in the first meeting, it is necessary to draw the attention of parents to age and respectively psychophysiological features of the age of children of a particular class. It is known that there are certain adverse periods conjugate with the age crises of the child, when psychological and pedagogical problems are intensified in the family. The crisis of 3 years is associated with the process of forming the main individual-psychological qualities of the personality and the creation of prerequisites for the development of socio-moral qualities. At 7-8 years, adaptation is adapting to the new social status of the schoolchild, the assimilation of the new life regime, the establishment of relations with the teacher, the children's team. For a period of 12-17 years, the process of self-affirmation, changes in relations with parents and the world of adults in general. In 18-21, social self-determination occurs.

Since the crisis situation requires rapid response - the task of the teacher is concluded by the "pedagogyization" of parents to some extent to prevent the brewing of such a situation, and in the event of its occurrence - the provision of direct emotional support to mitigate the impact of the stressful event and mobilize the efforts of the family to overcome the crisis.

In the process of parental meetings, it is necessary to take joint programs for the formation of the student of the schoolchild, to coordinate the plans for the joint activity of the school and family to fulfill them.

An important form of increasing the pedagogical culture of parents is performancerecently pedagogical public instructions.This form contributes to the development of abilities to raise children, encourages active pedagogical thinking. At the beginning of the school year at the first parent meeting, after discussion of the educational work plan, it is advisable to carry out a questionnaire among parents: "What kind of help can you have a class, school?". On the board, you can write a list in advance of the list of offered affairs (duty at the evenings of recreation children, management of circles, support in the process of excursions, assistance in leisure and sports events, etc.). Parents, reading this list, list in writing those cases in which they can take part, and also contribute. Taking into account this, these or other pedagogical public orders are distributed.

Conferences for parentsbasically, the exchange of experience in raising children in the family is devoted. To assemble a specific material and attract the attention of parents, sometimes the on the eve of the conference is offered a brief application form. Conference topics should be concrete and relevant for parents, for example: "Play and work in the life of a younger schoolboy", "Moral education of adolescents in the family", "Problems of choosing a profession from high school students", etc.

Consultations for parents,especially individual, valuable in that, chatting with the eye on the eyes, it is possible to say about the most sick, intimate, share what for one reason or another is inconvenient to speak at the meeting. In such a conversation, you can find from many options that the only one that will have the desired influence on the child.

Consultations do not provide a proper effect if parents are put in the situation of passive listeners. The teacher must lead a consultation in the form of the Council, together with parents, to seek ways to eliminate errors, disadvantages. "Let's advise ...", "What do you think?", "What is your opinion?" - Such a tonality causes the desire to be active participants in the upbringing, excites pedagogical thinking.

We reviewed only some forms of work to improve the pedagogical culture of parents. All of them must be interconnected and stacked in a single system.

The success of the joint work of the school and parents to a considerable extent depends on the deep knowledge of the teacher of students and their families. The educational potential of the family, the conditions of her life Teacher, primarily a cool leader, studies not only during the reception of a new student team, but also the entire period of the child's learning period. At the same time, it is advisable to use the complex of receptions and methods: monitoring the behavior and study of children, educational public activities of parents, visiting families, individual conversations with parents at school, accounting for information received from parental publicity, survey.

This, of course, does not exhaust the arsenal of techniques and methods to study students and their families. Select them follows from specific conditions.

Topic 4. "Family Education and Family Law"

For now, each adult man is directly or indirectly a mentor, a tutor of children, teenagers, young people. The Constitution of the Russian Federation (RF) states that citizens of the country should take care of the upbringing of children, prepare them for life in different fields.

In accordance with Art. 72 Constitution of the Russian Federation Family legislation is in joint jurisdiction of the Russian Federation and its subjects. This means that family-legal acts can be taken not only at the federal level, but also by the constituent entities of the Russian Federation. This ensures uniformity of family legislation, the accounting of local traditions and features that exist in various regions.

Family legislation consists primarily from the Family Code of the Russian Federation and other federal laws of the Russian Federation and its subjects. The sources of family rights include international legal norms to which Russia joined, signing international documents. Among them, the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, the documents of the Council of Europe, the Convention of the CIS countries on legal assistance and legal relations on civil, family and criminal cases, etc. At the same time, if the provision of the International Treaty Enters the provisions of the Family Code of the Russian Federation or other Russian The legal act, the norms of international documents apply.

The peculiarity of the Norm of Family Law is to be closely connected with the established centuries and accepted by the regulations of morality. Family law norms and moral requirements bring the fact that they are regulators of behavior of family relations. For example, legal norms regarding the rights and responsibility of parents for the education of children in the family, their spiritual and moral development, care for health, protection of their rights, their roots go to the region of morality, traditions.

The relationship of the norms of family law with the norms of morality emphasizes their important feature in society - they are designed to solve educational tasks. They provide their educational impact not only by the statement of certain family legal norms, but also by creating a model of moral behavior that meets the requirements of modern society.

On December 29, 1995, a new Family Code of the Russian Federation was adopted. This document contains legal norms that affect the regulation of family relations, specify them in the following areas:

General provisions (family legislation, the implementation and protection of family rights);

Conclusion and termination of marriage (conditions and procedure for concluding marriage, termination and invalidity of marriage);

rights and obligations of spouses (personal rights and obligations of spouses, the responsibility of spouses for obligations, etc.);

34. Rights and obligations of parents and children (rights of minor children, rights and obligations of parents);

35. Aliminal obligations of family members (Aliminal obligations of parents and children, other family members);

36. Forms of education of children left without parental care (identification and device of children left without parental care, adoption (adoption) of children, guardianship and trusteeship of children, adoptive family).

The Family Code of the Russian Federation provides for a significant strengthening of guarantees of the rights of children in family relations. The Code has allocated a special chapter "Minors". Article 56 "The Right of the Child on Protection" indicates that the child has the right to defense against abuse from parents or persons replacing them. In violation of the rights and legitimate interests of the child, including at the non-fulfillment or in the improper fulfillment by the parents of education, the education of the child, or in the abuse of parental rights, the child is entitled to independently apply for their protection to the guardianship and guardianship authority; And upon reaching the age of fourteen years - to court.

In accordance with the Family Code of the Russian Federation, the compulsory agreement of the child has been required, which has reached 10 years, in solving the issue of changing his name, the names on the name of another parent, as well as when changing his last name, name, patronymic for adoption and with its abolition. The consent of the 10-year-old child is also required to recover in parental rights of parents previously deprived of these rights, as well as for the adoption and transfer of the child left without parental care, in the reception family.

The child is granted the right to express his opinion when solving in the family of any issue affecting his interests, as well as the right to be heard during any judicial or administrative proceedings. Accounting for the opinion of the child who has reached the age of ten years is obligatory, with the exception of cases when it contradicts his interests.

Chapter 21 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation is new. It is devoted to the adoptive family - a fundamentally new form of a device for the upbringing of children left without parental care.

Empowering the rights and obligations of parents in the field of family education is reflected in the Law of the Russian Federation "On Education". So, in Art. 10 "Forms of education" states that, taking into account the needs and capabilities of the personality, educational programs can be mastered in the form of family education. Article 18 "Pre-school education" reads: "Parents are the first teachers. They are obliged to lay the foundations of the physical, moral and intellectual development of the child in early childhood. " The same article describes that local governments organize and coordinate methodological, diagnostic and advisory assistance to families raising children of preschool age at home.

Article 40 "State Guarantees of Education Priority" records that the state pays to parents (legal representatives) government benefits for child care to a certain age.

the legislation of the Russian Federation of age, children's benefits to low-income families, large and lonely mothers (fathers), allowances for minor children during the retail of their parents. Parents (legal representatives), carrying out the education and education of a minor child in the family, are paid to additional funds in the amount of the cost of education of each child at the relevant stage of education in the state or municipal educational institution.

The Law of the Russian Federation "On Education" significantly expands the rights of parents (legal representatives) in the formation and raising of children. So, in Art. 52 The following rights are recorded:

37. Parents (legal representatives) of minors to receive the latest primary general education have the right to choose education, educational institutions, protect the legitimate rights and interests of the child, to participate in the management of an educational institution;

38. Parents (legal representatives) have the right to give a child the primary general, the main general, secondary (full) general education in the family. A child who receives education in the family has the right at any stage of training in his positive certification to resolve parents (legal representatives) to continue education in an educational institution.

At the same time, this article provides that parents of students, pupils are obliged to carry out the charter of the educational institution. In addition, they are responsible for the education of children, obtaining the latest primary general education.

The Federal Law "On Basic Guarantees of the Rights of the Child in the Russian Federation" dated July 24, 1998 deserves special attention, in this law, the state confirms its support to the family, where a full-fledged education of children should be ensured to prepare them in society. The law establishes the main guarantees of the rights and legitimate interests of the child, which are provided for by the Constitution of the Russian Federation. The law also guarantees socio-economic conditions so that the child can realize its legitimate rights and interests, including in the family.

Another position should be emphasized, aimed at protecting the rights of the child in the family. If the court establishes the guilt of parents or those who replace them, in violating the rights and legitimate interests of children, then from parents will be taken amount of compensation, taking into account the measures necessary for social rehabilitation and adaptation of the child.

Violation of the fulfillment of duties for the education of minor parents, as well as teachers or employees of supervisory institutions, are subject to criminal liability. The new Criminal Code of the Russian Federation includes a special chapter "Crime against family and minors". It contains the regulation of the responsibility of adults for the involvement of minors in the commission of a crime, systematic use of alcoholic beverages, foaming substances, in prostitution, vagrancy, begging. At the same time, when committing listed crimes by parents or teachers, they are subject to more strict responsibility. This chapter included a new norm for Russian legislation - non-fulfillment by parents, teachers, other employees of the educational or therapeutic institution of responsibilities for the education of minors, connected to the brutal appeal.

The above and other legislation make it possible to assert that recently there are positive changes in the political, legislative, program-target and organizational and management levels on the implementation of family opportunities in the Russian Federation in the education of children. However, due to the number of both objective and subjective reasons, the requirements of the family legislation are extremely slow, there are no clear mechanisms for their implementation.

Questions for self-control

1. What role does the family play in raising children? What does the main functions of the family relate to the main functions?

2. What are the goals and objectives of family education?

3. Describe the features of demographic and family policies in modern Russia.

4. Describe the main activities of pedagogical teams on family education issues.

  • The question is self-education and self-education in the system of training students for pedagogical activities.
  • Question. Education and training of children in the Kiev and Moscow states.

    • Family is the basic value of any person. All its members are firmly related to multiple commitments and promises, all this makes a family not only the source of satisfaction of various needs, but also a peculiar voice of conscience to which it is necessary to listen in any situation. This cell of society has even greater importance for children, because it is here that all the main faces of the growing personality are formed and honed. Types of family education play a key role in this process. Depending on them, the physical, emotional, intellectual and other aspects of the development of the child are built and filled. Today we will look at the types of family upbringing and their characteristics, as well as discuss errors that can lead to fatal consequences.

    Structure and description of the family in terms of psychology

    Modern psychologists and teachers pay great importance to raising a child in the family. This topic was worried about the minds of experts in ancient times and today has accumulated a rather extensive base that allows you to classify the types of family relations and family education. However, first of all, a psychologist or a psychiatrist working with a child conducts a family analysis. Already on its results, it is possible to work in identifying types of family education in a specific cell of society, as well as to issue a number of recommendations.

    The most detailed analysis scheme belongs to Persechia Persian. It enjoys many specialists, as it gives the most complete picture of the types of family and family education styles. So, personally proposes to carry out analysis according to the following characteristics:

    • Family structure. Here it is necessary to take into account such factors as a full-fledged family, incomplete, as well as options with stepfather either stepmother.
    • Functional features. This characteristic includes many nuances. For example, how harmonious family is. Indeed, in case of detection of disharmony, non-compliance with the interests and dissatisfaction of all members of this cell of society leading to multiple issues will be observed. At this point, experts always work as deep as much as possible.
    • Parents partnership.
    • The level of conflict and requests for the risk of divorce.
    • Evaluation of emotional relations between family members.

    After living in a single picture, the indicators for all listed items, an experienced specialist will be able to determine the type of family and family upbringing. And it should be borne in mind that today psychologists and teachers use different classification based on the works of certain authors. Most modern specialists refer to the typology created by Diana Bumrind in the middle of the twentieth century. We will talk about her a little later.

    Family classification

    The diagnosis of the type of family education is impossible without determining the family option in which the child grows. Modern science highlights three types:

    • traditional family;
    • child-centered;
    • sophisticated.

    In this typology, the traditional family implies the formation of a clear vertical authority. Children are raised by respect for the older generation and submission to the requirements. In a similar family, the child quickly learns to fit into the proposed conditions and clearly understands its place in the established structure. However, this deprives the adhent personality of flexibility and initiative, which further affects the construction of its own family relations.

    Children's family is focused on the happiness of his child. Parents do everything so that the beloved child experienced only positive emotions. The interaction in the family is carried out from the bottom up, that is, pushing away from the desires, moods and needs of the child. Usually, such a relationship significantly raises self-esteem to a small person, but deprives him of the ability to contact with other people in society. Such children are very hard to take the adaptation period at school, they constantly conflict with peers and teachers, and also perceive the world around the world in black tones.

    The basis of the married family is confidence. Here, instead of a vertical, the horizontal of interaction is built, where the interests of all family members are always taken into account. Moreover, the child receives a greater number of rights with each studied stage. In such an environment, children grow harmoniously developed, confident in their forces, independent and emotionally stable. However, despite the high adaptability, a child from a marital family is poorly adaptable to conditions requiring unquestioned subordination. He will always be uncomfortable to fit into the vertical authority, which can significantly slow down his career growth in adult and independent life.

    Classification of family education types

    American on the origin of Diana Bumrind devoted his family psychology all his life. She managed to monitor the large number of different families and managed to allocate three styles and the type of family education. Under this wording, she understood the combination of techniques, relations and means of exposure that parents apply in daily communication with their children.

    According to the observations of Bumrind, the following styles can be distinguished:

    • authoritarian;
    • authoritative;
    • connorative.

    Each of the listed types of family education imposes a certain and well-read-reading imprint on the identity of the child, which affects his entire further life.

    Authoritarian style

    From the very birth, parents take all decisions for their child. They insist on unquestioned submission and keep under control every step of their children. The independence of the child is constantly limited, he never explains the causes of certain requirements, and the slightest violation of the established rules is rigidly punishable by moral pressure, verbal censure and even physical influence. In the adolescence, this leads to frequent and severe conflict situations.

    Most children brought up in an authoritarian style have no own internal mechanism for controlling their actions. They act, just saying their misconduct with the punishment that can follow actions. If at some point the punishment does not occur, then this child can turn into an antisocial and even dangerous personality.

    Usually this type of family education of the child leads to the formation of a dependent or aggressive personality.

    Authoritative type of education

    It is often called democratic, because it is considered the most correct of all from the point of view of psychology. In this case, parents enjoy great authority from their children, but power is used only in the most extreme cases. All decisions in the family are accepted together with the child, it develops responsibility to the age of age.

    With this style of education between parents and children, warm and confidential relations are formed, in which there will always be a good advice. A child who has grown in such a medium, regardless of sex, will come out in an adult life of a harmonious personality.

    Connorative style

    The effect of families of family education on the formation of a person is difficult to overestimate, so any inflection in one or another side negatively affects the educational process and the child itself. For example, with a conscious style, parents practically do not guide their chad. It does not know failures, prohibitions and any restrictions. Such children fully ignore the requests and needs of parents, while not experiencing emotional binding to them as they subconsciously perceive perception as an indifference.

    In adolescence in such a family, very serious problems may arise. Children in need of attention and warmth can contact a bad company or start taking drugs. At the same time, they experience difficulties in communicating with peers and other adults who refuse to indulge their whims. In the future, such children with difficulty find their lives satellite and cannot build strong family relationships.

    Other types of family education and their characteristics

    As it turned out, three styles of education were not enough to cover all the nuances and types of families. Therefore, in the future the typology, complementing the scientific works of Diana Bumrind, appeared:

    • chaotic style;
    • cutting.

    For the first type of family education, the absence of a certain style of parental behavior is characteristic as such. One day adults behave authoritative, and on the other suddenly become liberals. It causes great problems in the formation of the identity of the child, because he is always internally striving for stability and needs clear landmarks. It is especially hard to affect teenagers, they begin to rebel, experiencing anxiety and uncertainty. In some cases, the chaotic education style can provoke adolescent aggression and unforgettability.

    The taking type makes the parents constantly be in contact with their child. They are aware of all events in his life and instantly solve any problem that arises. However, this often leads to the fact that children overestimate their importance in parallel that they feel helpless and unsuitable for life. It provokes the beginning of an internal psychological conflict that may pour into serious complexes and problems.

    Typology of James Michael Baldwin

    It is worth noting that many psychologists practicing in their work often used their own typology of education styles. For example, D.M. Baldwin allocated only two styles, however, not excluding and not refuting the work of his colleagues. The psychologist described the following types of upbringing:

    • democratic;
    • controlling.

    The first type implies a very close relationship between parents and children at all levels. The child is gently heading with adults and can always count on their support. At the same time, parents always include their Chado into all family affairs, it is a full-fledged family member who carry his share of responsibility and eligible to meet their own needs.

    The controlling type is characterized by clear restrictions in the behavior of the child, the reasons for which it is always explained in detail. There are no conflicts between parents and children on this basis, because all the prohibitions are introduced on an ongoing basis and understandable. Interestingly, an understanding of the essence of prohibitions supports mutual understanding between all family members.

    Incorrect styles of education

    The typology given in the previous sections of our article does not exclude certain errors and inflectors in the child's education. But now we will list the types of incorrect family education, which negatively affect the formation of the nature of the child:

    • rejection;
    • hypersocializing type;
    • egocentric type.

    Education style characterized by rejection can combine various styles listed at the beginning of the article. After all, first of all parents do not take certain features of the nature of their child. It may concern character traits, mental abilities or ability to express their emotions. Some rejection is accompanied by strict control, which imposes a certain behavior scenario. It is presented as the only true and possible. Also destroying for the psyche of the child and the lack of control with such an erroneous style of upbringing. After all, he does not feel the support of his parents, aware of their rejection, but does not see a ready-made plan of action.

    The hypersocializing type of education is associated with the constant alarm of parents for their child. They are concerned about his health, emotional state, social status, or, for example, assessments in school. At the same time, the child always impose overestimated requirements, regardless of its real possibilities.

    Egocentric type of education creates idols in the family. All adults and even other children, if any, should exist for one sole child. The attention of everyone has always been riveted to his person, while the interests of the remaining family members are not taken into account when making important decisions and in everyday affairs.

    Classification of violations

    Not always in the family, parents manage to adhere to a certain type of education throughout the life of the child. They often allow mistakes that fall under the close attention of psychologists and are exposed to a clear classification. Types of family education violations can be summarized in the following list:

    • binding;
    • rejection;
    • delegation.

    Binding is characterized by the regulated and stereotypical communication, which develops between parents and children. Adults quite hard comment on all the actions of the child, which deprives them of their initiative. As a result, they are completely refused to make decisions, become infantile and socially unadapped. This significantly slows down their emotional development.

    The rejection causes the child to abandon his desires, needs and character in general. Relationships with parents convince him of the insolvency of all his actions and their misunderstanding. In the case of young children, this can lead to autism.

    When delegation, parents are conscious or not, but tolerate their own ambitions and the collapsed hopes. The victories of a child who are not related to parental ambitions are completely ignored, and it turns into a puppet. Psychologists argue that such a violation in raising can influence even an adult and already formed personality. Such young people always live, focusing on the approval or censure of parents. This connection is almost impossible to break.

    Of course, it is very difficult to grow a child without making mistakes and without allowing annoying misses. Each parent dreams of becoming the best for his children, so ready to do everything possible to achieve recognition. As psychologists advise, you should not be afraid of mistakes, the main thing is to strengthen them in time.

    9.8. "Family Pedagogy"

    Joyful when your children are a step forward compared to you,

    gorky - when a step back.

    "Family is almost always children. Here it begins the mass of other problems related to each other's understanding. Parents have questions about how to follow their child, and the child thinks about how to make that these big and adults. Parents. How many troubles, irritation, Juda, arises in the family, if there is no mutual understanding between parents to hang them. Let's think about it.

    A collection of rules and instructions "Domostroy" appeared in Russia in Russia, where the life of the family is regulated quite detailed. In particular, relationships and children. For example, one of the provisions of this document to considerates, if the Son (Daughter) does not listen, does not hesitate and is not afraid, but the need to lie next to the shoulder. " What do you think did the "Education" erection help? And how did the "pupils" themselves relate to their children?

    You need to work out the source of the basic rules of family education. Formulate write down the clear and specific provisions that should be guided, grandparents, as well as aunt and uncle, who participate in the child's recruitment in the family.

    AnyIs may have the right to make their suggestions, arguing their need, drive examples from "their practice", etc. But takes your proposal with a whole voting vote. The one whose proposals will be accepted by the Bolshevnye, is announced by the "Chief Specialist in Family Education". The discussion and adoption of the Code of the Basic Rules of Family Education are 10 minutes.

    After the battery of the work in microGroups, we will listen to one representative from the MEGRUP (probably, it should be a "chief specialist in family education") and try to draw up a general set of rules in which the provisions encountered in the arches of each microhyrroup. "

    Recommendations. The results of the work assesses the group on the principle of "Protocol", i.e. "Chief Specialist in Family Education" receives 8 points, the second specialist - 6 points, the third - 4 and the fourth switches 2 points. For the presentation of the arch of his group, the participant may receive additionally from 3 to 5 premium points.

    9.9. "Instructions for the communication of spouses"

    "Title a simple household appliance, we get detailed instructions for it. First we study it so that this device does not fail during operation. Self - a more complex device, but, entering into marriage, we do not get none in line with how to behave spouse.

    Let's make such instructions on the communication of the spouses. "

    It is recommended by the number of participants' proposals that have entered into general texts. For example, the participant convinced to include in the instructions for communicating the spouses "If you don't like how to make a spouse, take and hide," this means that it receives 2 points for work in this exercise, which is recorded in the account statement.

    Psychological commentary.Participants will be interested in comparing the results obtained by the smend of a specialist who has accomplished

    "Commandments of family life":

    1. Semia begins with "We", be more demanding of yourself;

    2. Do not demonstrate your superiority, be easier;

    3.not reproach; Criticizing, do not blame and do not humiliate;

    4.space to repeat good; Made a good thing, hurry to make one more and not Zheginard;

    5. Be suffer, do not rush to pour your anger, think, I'll understand and forgive themselves;

    6. If I am sure that the spouse is to blame, then look for a reason for yourself;

    7. Do not give advice if you are not asked;

    8. The first step towards meeting, if there is a quarrel or conflict, forgive the sprupacity;

    9. In the spouse good, talk about his advantages;

    10. Went together with a person, not over a person;

    11. Do not believe the one who deceives himself;

    12. Be a friend of the spouse;

    13.Rece together with a person, not instead of man;

    14. Not blame - you are not a prosecutor.

    (Spell S.F.)

    Subtotal

    Participate all the points received and ranking.

    From the statements of the participants of the training:

    "I realized that the self-esteem of a person is very important, we need to need it and think about it as much as possible."

    Nikolai F.

    "The procedure was very useful. The procedure for drawing up a contract was very useful. The appearance was seriously thought about his future. I think it will come in handy."

    "Indeed, what I really want is that I am so that I am so happy, had a roof over your head and the sun ..".

    "After 10 years I will be all in my homely trouble. I will be a self-grateful in the world, as I will live with my beloved person, we have a small fellow daughter. I will have many friends and we will often be concluded."

    Ksenia P.

    10. The sphere of interpersonal communication (I intercourse)

    Do not bend a rough thread of friendship, because if you have to sit down again, the node will remain.

    Indian proverb

    The corporate final section of the training is that the participants from the important social sphere of interpersonal communication, which is very much in human life. This section summarizes the outcome of the classes, so in it the participants are given another opportunity to check all the conclusions that they were able to do during the training, consolidate the results of frank and sincere communication, to fulfill adopted on themselves.

    Begins the section Specialized test for identifying egoistic tension.

    "Egoism"

    "Test holds 40 unfinished proposals. It is necessary to supplement each of them so that proposals are made in which the completed thought is expressed. It is necessary to immediately recover the end of the unfinished proposal to you, try to try quickly.

    1. In such a situation

    2. It is common

    3. Despite the fact that

    4. Thanh longer

    5. By comparing S.

    6.The item

    7.For, that

    8.In the result

    10. Only years ago

    11. The most important thing is that

    12. In fact,

    13.t.

    14. The accommodation problem is that

    15.Night, that

    16. It will take such a day when

    17.Same great

    18.Name

    19.Is that

    20. It is possible that

    21.Good in that

    22.Inad

    23.let so after twelve

    24. In the past

    25.Deo in that

    26.The present

    27. When you take into account

    28. If not

    29. Always

    30.And the best

    31. Possibility

    32. In the case

    33.Fig

    34. If even

    35.Dell now

    36. Condition for

    37. Most of all

    38.Art

    39.As recently

    40. All since

    Processing and analysis of results

    Definition of the results It is necessary to count the number of pronouns of the original number of the single number, all the most strongest and their own pronouns: "I", "me", "mine", "me", etc., the attack of the proposal, not to the end, but containing the specified mentiones, and The proposals in which there are no pronounsel themselves, but they are applied, if there is a verb of the first person of the singular. Independent indemnocentrism is the number of designated proposals.

    Psychological commentary. The purpose of the processing of the results is to obtain the index of egocentrism, according to which one can judge the egocentric or non-commocate-specific personality of the subject. Processing results It makes sense if the tasks fully coped with the task. Therefore, in the process of conducting, it is important to strive to ensure that all proposals are completed. When there are more than 10 unfinished proposals, the text form is not subject to processing.

    Egocentric administration manifests itself in cognitive, emotional and behaviorals. A personality with such a focus is difficult to make a variationsigned position in relation to a certain objective object, an outstanding experience of other people, the absence of emotional responsiveness, extravagal to take into account the points of view of other people and coordinate them with an incomplete point of view. Probably the formation and consolidation of self-contained personality occurs in adolescence.

    The input of testing should follow the following conditions: a) categorically registered anything to explain to the subject besides the instructions or give evaluation to express its attitude to its judgments; b) The experimenter should not have a true goal of the study.

    10.1. "Portrait of a friend"

    We are responsible for those who have tamed

    Little Prince

    "Of course, each of you have a true friend. You know it well. I hope that the rest of our classes appeared here a friend here. Make a verbal portrait, which has become the closest for you, using all the letterpartery in turn. For example, A - neat, b - generous, in - polite, g - gallant, d - delicate, etc. For one letter you can give a few words, but you can not pass the letters of the alphabet, except for Kommersant, and the letters th, they are replaced by I. On this work you are given for 5 minutes.

    Athena, you can convey to him (s) its description and obligate it. Try at the same time to emphasize its mainstream. "

    10.2. "Compliments"

    If you are moving to the measure, then the most pleasant will become the most pleasant.

    Democritus

    "CulturalOrochelovka is distinguished by the ability to nicely and freely communicate with others. He can be listened to what the interlocutor says, will even help him express the opinion, will not immediately reject it, and even more so raise the voice or use insults.

    Suchchelovka will be able to arrange even a closed or something upset about conversation. Let's try to do it now. Your task is to establish account with a partner sitting to the left of you and from the bottom of my heart (after all, it is just unas from the left side) to tell him a few warm and nice words (compliments). But I need to say it really sincerely, from the bottom of my heart.

    You might first think about 30 seconds about the fact that you can be able to this person. You can emphasize the pleasant impressions that are visiting its appearance.

    For example, "you are very accurate to face this costume, you always know how to dress with a coat." You can select some human dignity of a partner, for example, "I always liked your willingness to help others."

    Other of you will begin to communicate with your partner sitting on the left. All the rest of the time should be observed for their communication, paying attention to the fact that the contact was embossed (whatever the first words were whether there was a simple greeting), Kakoni look at each other or do not see anyone to whom they are treated, coping communication (what kind of compliment is pronounced And is it really a person who said it will be nice from these words). And finally, you need to turn on the way out of contact (thanked each other partners, as they did).

    The post, as the contact will end, begin to communicate with a partner who is sitting with the left-handedness of him, maybe the one who has just said compliments. However, it robes to skip the move, for example, if he is so touched by said words, which can not immediately get together for the same communication with another person, or show what he knows what to say to his partner.

    Wet case begins to communicate the participant who is sitting next to the left, etc., until all of you will express all of you. "

    Recommendationsassign the group that the participation in all Etudes voluntarily, potomusvoy compliments speak only those who wish. In conclusion, participants should be given to the opportunity to speak about those feelings that they experienced when they were assertioned compliments (it was nice to listen) and when they themselves uttered them (whether it was nice to say).

    Attace Etude is carried out a mutual evaluation within 5 points.

    10.3. "Breaking stereotypes"

    Either I will find the way or put it!

    Phillip Sydney, English

    statesman

    "Nam's lives often help the stereotypes formed earlier, list the clarifical actions that you perform at the subconscious level, that is, it is automatically automatically. This, of course, makes life easier, but on the other hand it is difficult to feel it, so that the freshness of life perception is lost in the usual atmosphere, during communication with already familiar. For example, the ritual of greetings - a man greets with another hand, says: "How are you?" And runs further, without even listening to the answer and after a minute, with whom he greeted. It was just a ritual, Worked the behavioral system.

    Achto can offer in return? Is such a greeting to make a person who have done to remember this for several days or even months? Your suggestions?

    Nowot the theory will move directly to practice - let's start to master the bred methods of greeting. So, as many as 3 minutes you welcome each other only with new words.

    Well, but other stereotypes are surrounded apart from the stereotypes of greetings. What nonsense can we still work? Your suggestions. Maybe clothes? Why do we like it, and if we will change our clothes now? We agreed, we will not wear clothing, but it's not difficult to change the gait. So, an unconventional approach. And every time completely different. Started. "

    It is recommended by the distribution of the amount of points. You give an average of 5 points on 1 points, which itself should distribute these points. If the participants were unsubstituted for the allotted time to distribute this amount, they all get a fine of 3bull.

    10.4. "I understand you..".

    Having learned to rejoice, we will be the best of all to do Cornflow.

    N. Enkenmann, psychologist

    "Now much and fruitfully communicate. Naturally, you are a good friendly friend's friend. And now we will work in pairs. Everyone thinks and fills incomplete on the other.

    1.There joyful when

    2. so sad when

    3. This is scary when

    4. This is a shame when

    5.s are very proud of

    6.tes are angry

    7. These are very surprised when

    Recommendations.After the participants are finished with these proposals, they are exchanged by their entries and read them. Then return their records back to have them. What were the coincidences and what the guys did not understand each other.

    The result is determined by the mutual assessment of the participants.

    10.5. "Santa Claus"

    Joy is the main principle of life.

    N. Enkenmann, psychologist

    "Many of us sincerely regret that the new year, like the birthday of Birthday once a year. After all, we rejoice on this day, receiving gifts. Let it even feel a modest gift, but we feel special attention to yourself, receiving and the care of others. , relatives and loved ones. And then we remember the ethiprhet minutes for a long time. And what prevents us from arranging such holidays more often? Maybe it is not a second new year or birthday in the calendar? If this is right, then everything is solved very simple. I am prescribed on Today is an extraordinary new year. I congratulate all of you! I wish you heartily joy and happiness!

    Ateper gifts. It will be difficult for me to cope with this pleasant reason. Therefore, each of you gets the role of Santa Claus, and therefore must prepare a whole bag with gifts. In this brainstorming, put a gift for each member of the group. And in order to accidentally unforgett someone, I advise you to issue a hand-writing statement in which I highly write down all the names, and then the name of the gift to this person. In the forever, leave a place to paint the one who you will do this gift.

    Redemption statement

    Gift name

    Uvas are 7 minutes to fill this statement by writing the names of the inament of gifts for each member of the group. A gift can be any, optionally material.

    Then there will be handing your gifts, and each of you will have to choose not the most favorite gifts. You can tell your thanks to everyone, notice these three exactly and lay down in their statements. According to the increasing painting, the result will be fed. Therefore, you should very seriously think about each present here. What did you manage to learn about this, what does his interests manifest themselves, what does he really love that he is big by himself? You need to answer these questions and you can pick up a suitable. Act!

    Recommendations.At the first stage, it is necessary to create conditions for individual participants, should exclude the possibility of communication. Everyone must be a full time in full solitude to be able to focus. After that participants, moving freely by the audience, "distribute" their gifts, going to each other.

    At the end of work, participants are combined into a common circle and are called three bundle. For each such gift, "Santa Claus" receives 2 points.

    Sample practices. Podarka each other of the participants of one of the groups.: "Driving license; My assistance in the performance of all your desires; bag of chocolate candies; a favorite song; satellite antenna; a faithful friend; Elemental youth; a new guitar; my eternal friendship; the blue sky is a little more, than that All people; Fite; sociability; a loved one for everyday; a lot of good music; a big box of sweets; a great personal library; a huge soft bear; mouse picture; a large pink elephant; the world in your friend; a currency account in the bank; the next sports discharge. "

    10.6. "Reliable person"

    "The most unforeseen way in life happens in life. Well, if it is a pleasant one-name - winnings in a lottery or a different gift of fate. And if the trouble? Not always, you will find a way out of it, especially if the situation is very complex, requiring instant reaction and the concentration of all mental and physical and physical concentrations. Forces.

    Yambudi to read you one of the difficult life situations and suggest everyone items to think about those who could help him in this situation, he asked for help for help if he fell into a similar position. Choose needed from the group members.

    Akom would you help yourself if this happens not with you, but with others? And why exactly a person?

    Recommendations. Fabul situations are best to make up with the participants. Ettagenic to be relevant for age and type of activity of participants, for example, if in the group of schoolchildren, then the situation should be associated with this age and the child (conflict with parents, problems with the teacher, which does not recognize rulers, etc.).

    It is evidenced by the number of votes given in this situation for everybow. For example, if the Group reviewed the conflict with parents and one of the participants scored 6 votes as a leader in this situation, it receives 6 points. So in each next situation. You only need to create about 10 such situations.

    10.7. "Filmcenerable, or role distribution"

    "We know what picking up the actor to a certain role, the director looks shorts by the smaller, is it suitable for this person, will it fit into the image, will it be organic, natural? We all differ from each other, and therefore we are suitable for different scenarios.

    Successful I will read the filmcenery in which the roles are not yet distributed. You have a careful content, must enter the role number and name after the next pass, which, from your point of view, approached this role. First of usual, there must be psychological similarity with the alleged role, although foreign ones can also be considered. So, I start: "Snow-white Villamarister ....... (1) Located on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean. The garden is round a yearful wonderful white roses. Behind them is caressing the gardener ... .. (2), who lives the dusty wife ... .. (3) and forever hungry children.

    Welders Villas are very pretty and educated lady ...... (4). She spends all his freely, walking in the garden, inhaling the unique aroma of wonderful whiteness. But the owner of the villa (1) liked the young maid more, the coquetty and cheerful, very fun ...... (5). It was not mind, he was and to take for a nurse, which was to the lady (4). It was a serious and proud girl ... .. (6), but Mr. (1) did not lose hope.

    Mr. (1) heads a major firm and deals with a serious business. In the last-hour from began to experience difficulties, as several firms stood on his way, while taking almost all the Atlantic coast to the hands. Especially his carelessness, which was headed by his former classmate for university ... .. (7). Specification held all the gambling business Mr ...... (8). It was poorly educated, a non-profitable person who was even afraid of the fathers of the city.

    Mr. Mr. (1) and Lady (4) went to church. On the papers at the temple oniystly met ... .. (9). Fate did not spare this person.

    Personalshofer Mr. (1) was a sullen man .... (10). His wife, on the contrary, was distinguished by character, she sang very well, and therefore the whole district is well knewing .... (eleven).

    Delive to Lady (4) came to visit her girlfriend .... (12). The ladies were concluded for the latest secular news and scandals. One of the most scandalists is the disappearance and care of the monastery of their common acquaintance ... .. (13). For bass, it was a complete surprise. The husband of this notable lady was a walk and a balagen, universal favorite .... (fourteen). After this story, the poor fellow spuns completely. And faded him from the bottom of my heart.

    Their survey broke the knock at the door. On the threshold stood a messenger from the supermarket .... (15). He brought an order - wine, fruit, chocolate. The ladies gave him to tea soapustil. The evening passed just wonderful. The room was the aroma of white roses, the air was filled with quiet joy and sadness. Ladies looked at the ocean

    Saying the participant should be approximately such an entry:

    1.Mister ................ 2. Gardener .............

    3. Suggested gardener ...... .. 4. Lady

    5. Nursing ............. 6. Nurse

    7. The head of the company ......... .. 8. Player

    9.Nong ............... .. 10. Chauffeur

    11. He is a chauffeur .......... 12. Lady girlfriend

    13. Manyahnya ............. 14. Male nuns

    15.Sonal

    Recommendations. The group discusses the various options for proposals for the Available Raleigh Wincelary. By a majority of votes, one person is approved by one person. After this, the lead is once again reading the scenario, already calling the names of the participants approved in the stake.

    There can be a role to be approved by 2-3 people, but this is only if the group really believes that they are suitable for her.

    Psychological commentary. In conclusion, a discussion is carried out why it was this participant that the role was served. What is in his character or behavior with its advanced nomination on this role? How does he think himself? And what role do it would be for himself? Those who found themselves without a role, why? You just did not notice, or for you there is no characteristic role? What role do you propose to enter, do not spoil ready-made filmcenery? Justify your suggestions? Why exactly this role, what does it match?