How to behave in a quarrel: the safest ways. How to behave with a guy after an argument? How to lead after a quarrel with your wife
Many do not even know how to behave after a quarrel. All this leads to the divorce of people. Is it worth gaining knowledge regarding this issue? Of course, because if you understand how to behave, you can quickly put up and return to a happy life.
The first moment is how a man leads after a quarrel. There are several options for the development of events:
- Leaves home somewhere. One of the most ridiculous versions of how to behave. If you leave home, you hurt your other half. You shouldn't take such steps.
- Someone just doesn't talk to their loved one after a quarrel. Also not the most reasonable option for what to do in case of a quarrel.
And here's the question: how to behave after a quarrel with a man? If you don't know, here is some plan of action:
- Take your time to run to the person to ask for forgiveness or to talk. You need to at least give a little time to get used to the idea that you quarreled, but this is not a reason to leave. Just let each other cool down, because you are probably disheveled and a little horny.
- When time passes, it's time to call or write a message to the man if he left home. If he didn’t leave, just tell him that you would like to talk. Yes, at this stage you really need to talk to each other about your future. Chat somewhere in a cafe if the man left before. If he is at home, then any setting will suit you.
- Say that you were wrong. You should not prove the opposite and say that you are the only one whose opinion is correct. You just need to sometimes give in to a person. This is very important to do so that there are fewer fights.
- Make it up completely by arranging a surprise for each other or giving a gift. Not necessarily expensive. The most important thing is to show concern and show that you care about the person.
If you fully understand how to behave after a quarrel with your husband, be sure that soon everything will be fine with you. And you will quarrel much less often. After all, if you judge, then a quarrel is something you can do without. It is only important to understand its reason and no longer arrange a showdown over this.
Girl behavior
When it comes to how a girl behaves after a quarrel, you can consider several options for her behavior. If you rely on statistics, then in most cases there are some misunderstandings and the girl is waiting for her boyfriend to apologize to her. It cannot be said about any precise and definite patterns of behavior. Everyone reacts differently to what is happening. Some girls just calmly realize what is happening, some cannot stop the scandal with their beloved in any way.
And how to behave after a quarrel with a girl? The question is not easy, because it is really difficult, you need to clearly understand how to act in case of any situation. You don’t have to throw all the blame on the girl — that’s the most important thing. If you quarreled, then both are to blame. There is no need to incite her and say some unpleasant things. When you have an argument, it is better to be alone for a while and calm down.
How a man leads after a quarrel
If you were initially to blame for the quarrel, buy a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of champagne, and then just apologize for your behavior. If the girl herself is guilty, there is nothing wrong with that. Anyway, please her and make it clear that you love her in spite of any quarrels and resentments.
And you girls, in turn, learn how to behave after a fight with a guy. You might not want to pretend that you are innocent. If there was a quarrel between you, you are a participant in it. Don't be proud and apologize. No one has ever died from this, but at the same time, such actions actually helped to revive relationships and make peace for young people.
Aries and Capricorn: their features
The question of how to behave with a ram after a quarrel is asked by all those who have chosen such a soul mate. Here you can't argue with the fact that such a person is stubborn enough and quarreling with him is a common thing. But is it worth it? Is there a need to quarrel with such a person? You just need to more often agree with what he says.
If a quarrel has occurred, you do not need to prove your case after that. Aries will not calm down and continue to quarrel. Thus, you will end up with a vicious circle, from where it will be quite difficult for you to get out.
If you quarreled with a ram, ask for forgiveness and make it clear that you value the person and are not going to quarrel with him. Do you love each other? If so, then all the more no quarrels are needed. They destroy families, this has already been confirmed many times.
How to behave after a quarrel with your husband And how does the Capricorn behave after a quarrel? Such a person usually just leaves so as not to say too much. Capricorn itself is very stubborn and does not accept other people's opinions, especially does not like the moments when they begin to teach him something. It is better not to intervene in the quarrel again and again if you have already quarreled. Just wait a bit until everything settles in your head and you will no longer feel angry. Rest assured, just 30 minutes and you will already forget that there was a misunderstanding between you. You just sit down and talk, but don't look for someone to blame for this situation, it's just not necessary. Look for ways to make sure your relationship never has these issues again. Try to compromise and look for ways not to quarrel, but just talk, expressing your opinion. But more importantly, you don't need to quarrel over little things. Husband went to football and drank beer? So what, he's just taking a break from work. Give him a chance to relax. If your wife went to a beauty salon, do not be angry, because she creates all the beauty just for you.
What is the right way to behave after a quarrel? The best option is to just sit down and talk about what each of you thinks. Just listen to each other's opinions about this or that case. When you voice your opinion, just accept the opinion of your significant other. And don't be the most principled. Know how to succumb in time so that in the future you will not regret that because of a quarrel you have offended your loved one.
The consequences of a family quarrel are really dire. And first of all, because after a quarrel, we spoil relations with people who are really dear to us. Of course, it is easier to have a conflict with a fellow traveler on public transport or a salesman in a store. It will have little or no effect on your life. But in the event of a quarrel with a loved one, you risk losing after it, if not all, then a lot: love, trust, support.
So let's once and for all learn to avoid quarrels, and neutralize their consequences.
Several rules
Rule # 1. Cool it down. If you feel that the time for an argument is approaching, leave the room. Separating yourself from your husband and a calm environment will give you precious time to calm down and come back to the problem later. It’s even better if you put off solving the problem until tomorrow. Not the best advice - solve all problems instantly. This way, you can rest and come back with a clearer mind the next morning. Perhaps what caused a quarrel with her husband will turn out to be completely unimportant and insignificant.
Rule # 2. Avoid getting offended and insulting right away. Understand that this will not solve the problem, but will probably make it worse. Instead, during an argument with your husband (wife), listen to his (her) arguments and be ready to accept the truth that may be present in his words. Be prepared to admit you were wrong or wrong. This approach requires you to calm down and listen to your significant other and think rationally.
Rule # 3. Finally, stop yelling and persistently proving something to your husband during a quarrel. During or after a fight, start touching if you see that there is no end or end to the conflict. Kiss and hug each other. Physical intimacy can help re-establish the bond between you.
Rule # 4. Don't prioritize moral victory, but prioritize relationships if you really care about them. After all, quarrels with her husband eat up a piece of love every time. Come up with a solution that will sort out the situation every time. This may require you to take the first step towards compromise. But by letting your husband / wife know that your first step is your priority in the relationship, you are encouraging your spouse to take that step first the next time.
Rule # 5. 
Never involve your parents in an argument with your husband. Such a conflict is a problem for only two people, husband and wife, so you shouldn't involve a third party every time, in the form of parents, even if you don't think it is right (especially for women).
If you involve your parents as well, this problem will no longer become a conflict between two people, but two families. A quarrel will easily fade into the background without their help, and pulling them in will have a ripple effect and may never end.
Rule # 6. Avoid violence when fighting. Quarrels pass and this is natural. Over time, the reasons that caused them are forgotten. But, nevertheless, no matter how fierce it is, in no case should you resort to violence. Physical pain and humiliation, contrary to popular belief, are not forgotten for a very long time. And the spouse who raised his hand once to you is more likely to repeat it again.
Rule # 7. Never talk about divorce, no matter how tough the quarrel with your husband is. After all, in the end it will definitely happen. With these words, you yourself tune yourself to this state of affairs. And then the ex-husband and wife will regret the impulsive divorce, and especially those who still deeply love each other.
Rule # 8. Never run away from home in anger. Films often show scenarios where the wife runs away from home, and the husband catches up with her and apologizes. However, in the real world, this is unlikely to happen, since both of you are indignant and in such a state, neither of you will want to take the first step. Thus, it is best to remain silent, and after both of you calm down, calmly resolve the conflict.
Rule # 9. You should still sleep together at night after an argument. This is the best way to end the tense environment. In the beginning, you can turn your backs to each other, but after falling asleep, the joint habits will play into your hands. When you wake up in the morning after a quarrel, you will find that you are looking at your husband's hand, and he smiles at you and the conflict will end by itself.
Rule # 10. If you have used all the methods and feel that the quarrel cannot be resolved by itself, then it is time to consider the issue of including a third party in your conflict. And, of course, as stated above, these should not be relatives, friends or neighbors. Nowadays, there are many ways to get quality help: it is by contacting family psychologists, relationship counselors, or enrolling in family therapy courses.
An unhappy marriage, according to psychologists, can exist without quarrels, but happy with them. Unfortunately, conflicts and friction between husband and wife are almost inevitable. It is important to learn how to resolve them correctly, and after a quarrel, put your relationship at the forefront, and not imaginary principles.
Family quarrels - regular repair of a dilapidated family love.
V. Klyuchevsky "Aphorisms and Thoughts on History"
There are no perfect couples - everyone is talking about it. It so happened that "the young scold - only amuse themselves." A quarrel is often the only option for resolving a previously brewing conflict. Unfortunately, few have learned to constructively solve common problems by speaking, therefore they conceal resentment until the last moment. But, just as everything must find a way out sooner or later, understatements also float to the surface, but with a stormy wave of quarrels. How to behave during this and after a quarrel so as not to ruin the relationship?
How to behave with a guy after an argument?
First of all, you need to take into account the moment that during a quarrel you need to prove yourself. Yes, yes, it is to recommend. The first quarrels show how you are able to solve conflict situations, which means they give you an orientation for the future: this is how we will resolve our quarrels constantly.
Exclude:
- reproaches
- lamentations and reminiscences of past mistakes
- open accusations
- mutual grievances
Two different people, with their own established ideas about life, begin to build relationships. Of course, there will be quarrels. Now that we have dealt with this and accepted the fact that quarrels are quite natural, we pass to the behavior model after them.
A girl should always behave in a balanced and dignified manner, without showing excessive emotions. This advice is universal, although it generalizes a little the general idea of female behavior, because there are quite hot-tempered natures with a hot temperament who will find it difficult to restrain themselves.
Tip: Talk to your boyfriend before the first fights about your worst and best sides. Let it not be a surprise for him and for you what will be revealed later. It is better to speak in calm tones, how you can react in the event of a theoretical quarrel, what bothers you, what makes you upset, and so on. Also listen to the person and be sure to give your opinion on possible behavior. An exaggerated example: a guy had the experience of raising his hand against a girl, which he told you about, and you, fearing to push him away, kept silent about your indignation.
Algorithm of behavior after a quarrel with a guy for a girl:
- Calm down and pull yourself together in all the ways you know. If you need, conditionally, to go to a girlfriend or to go to your mother, take a walk, go for a run or go for a glass of wine in a good restaurant, then do it. Don't come screwed up to him again.
- You should not stretch the resentment for a long time if the conflict is resolved and the quarrel is over normally. Consider the essence of the conflict, think about how best to resolve the situation so that after a quarrel, harmony reigns in the relationship.
- Don't take revenge! Do not in any way be like taking revenge. No one - neither a boy nor a girl - is embellished by such behavior, and the relationship will not stick together after revenge.
- A step towards reconciliation. There are no general rules of who should be reconciled first. Yes, our pride always whispers to us that the guy should do this, but in truth, no one owes anything to anyone. You should be mutually interested in maintaining the relationship, so think about it more than once before quarreling or taking offense for a long time after a quarrel with your boyfriend.
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Quarrels and conflicts sometimes happen to any couple. After them, it is very important for a man behave correctly.
First you need to assess the scale of the quarrel. Perhaps this is just a trifle that the vast majority of couples will not even pay attention to. If this is something global, then it is very important to learn how to behave correctly.
So you have a falling out. It doesn't matter for what reason. First of all, the culprit should be identified. If the man is to blame, it is better not to delay the measures to eliminate the conflict.
First, go to your sweetheart with a Puss in Boots face (better with him than without him) and apologize. Being able to admit your mistakes is a hallmark of a strong and strong-willed man. Any of us (men) must be able to do this and practice periodically, because this "skill" helps a lot to walk along the path of life. It should be understood, however, that any good quality, if used incorrectly, can have the opposite effect. In other words, don't overdo it. If you do this a couple of times, then in the eyes of the girl you will look like a strong and attractive man. To make concessions constantly means to betray a soft and weak-willed person in oneself.
Second, do it with confidence and ease. The girl must clearly understand that you have realized the essence of the conflict and are not going to step on the same rake.
Let's consider another option: argument happened through the fault of the girl. It's more difficult here. The easiest and most popular option is to remain silent and wait for an apology from your companion. Then it all depends on the characteristics of the character of your girl. If she is quick-witted and not vindictive, soon you will probably hear the word "sorry". If not, then such a silence can last a very, very long time, and there are no guarantees that after it has passed, your significant other will decide to apologize.
How to get out of this situation? The main thing is not to run to her with an apology immediately after a quarrel. If the girl is really to blame and still considers herself a victim, don't apologize. If you give up slack, then after any conflicts you will be the one to blame.
The first thing to do is try to talk to your girlfriend. Just talk to her in a calm tone and point out mistakes, clearly laying out everything on the shelves. As a rule, the majority of adequate people then admit their guilt.
If the previous advice doesn't work, try to hush up the fight. Tell them not to waste your life on grudges. Quite an effective, but dangerous method, which can also lead to a feeling of impunity in the girl. Scandals initiated by your beloved will be regular, and she will not see anything criminal in this.
If this method did not meet expectations, then try to use some personal tricks. They are unique for each person. After all, who else but you know your partner and be able to find a common language with him? The main thing is patience.
Remember: there is nothing terrible about fights, as long as they do not start to be regular. Healthy conflicts will only strengthen your relationship by making it richer.
Marital relations are like a living organism. They differ in the individual characteristics of partners, communication style and other details, but they all have a desire to flourish. Relationships need to be grown like a flower, maintained, given food, fresh air, love. They need to be developed, moving from one stage to another. A quarrel between partners is a vivid illustration of the stress required for both. This is a controversial episode of marriage as a disease. A mild cold that disappears in a couple of days, an ailment with complications, or even a fatal outcome - divorce.
Common quarrel
It is not so important who the real culprit of the conflict is. Most often, a guy makes the first step towards him. How to make peace with your wife? First you need to pause. It takes time to set priorities, to realize reality. It is better to announce the time-out openly:"We need to cool down now, when I return, we will discuss everything,"
“Darling, the last thing in the world I want to argue with you, probably I was wrong about something. I just want to say that I love you. "
From a distance, both of you will put your thoughts in order. Let the wait be a few minutes, even hours. Taking too long a pause will aggravate the situation.
Further discussion. You should listen to your partner, speak out sincerely. If she is quick-tempered, set up for enmity, you have to make a huge effort on yourself, to avoid a scandal. Make it clear: you understand her, you are ready to compromise. What should I say to my wife to make up?
"Honey, I realized everything, let's not cut from the shoulder."
My act is dictated by the fear of losing you forever and jealousy.
You are insanely dear to me. Sorry for the offensive words.
I love it when you smile, let's not chop off the shoulder.
I'm sorry that happened, please forgive me. I sincerely hope that there will be no more such unpleasant incidents and stories.
Forgive me and don't be angry, dear.
Speak, persuade, be persistent. Keep with you excessive emotionality, impulsivity, irascibility. Patience plus discretion is the best "healing" scheme. Tactile contact will be a lasting anchor of peace. Hugs, kiss or passionate sex? The main thing is that the initiative is appropriate, mutual and sincere.
If the wife doesn't want to talk
Often, when she stops talking, the wife does not want to put up. Here are some ideas for reconciling with a silent person:- A letter of confession. Poems, prose, scraps of thoughts, written by hand. Let it be "10 Reasons Why". You need to write about your feelings, extol a loved one in a message, not spare compliments, beautiful, sincere words. And at the end, ask for forgiveness for your offense or rude words that were said during a quarrel.
- Flowers. Being in the next room, you can call a courier with a huge bouquet of red roses. Attach a small postcard with a short text: “I love you! Sorry". Send a gift to work, leave a basket on the hood of a car - there are a lot of options.
- SMS. It is corny, but effective. Pleasant words and creativity will make almost every offended lady smile.
- Reunion through the toddler.
- Transform your child into a messenger. After all, from his lips "forgive, please, dad" will sound more touching than his own "forgive".
- Joint creativity. A huge cake, a postcard, a drawing, a piece of homemade soap in the shape of a heart with the hands of a little creator will make a sad mother smile.
How can I atone for my guilt before you?
I ask you: just don’t be silent.
After all, I, driven by this blame,
I know no rest during the day, nor in the night.
To be able to forgive is a great art,
And we have the right to make mistakes.
But the one who still believes in the power of feeling,
Will give a loving heart a new chance.
How you want to return the minutes back
To avoid all stupid mistakes ...
Let's take a new route -
You can write another fairy tale!
Sorry for the past
I am very sorry for everything!
Let's think about the good
And we will dare to start from scratch!
Heart breaks to pieces ...
Forgive me!
Don't hold a grudge in your heart
Just let go!
I didn't want this quarrel,
I swear to you
Do you want me to kneel
Sorry again !?
I ask you to forgive me
Don't be angry, you don't need to
There is no need for such quarrels,
We will live together!
Serious quarrel
There are complex, almost insoluble stories where it is easier to break than to fix a relationship. Is it worth putting up with your wife in such a situation? Unforgivable wrongdoing, humiliating betrayal - a definite break?
They say infidelity is not forgiven. But life is so multifaceted that you have to make decisions that completely contradict your own feelings. It happens that a person is forced to forgive. Circumstances, children, powerful feelings ... How to get forgiveness? How to make peace with an insulted wife after an accidental betrayal?
Much depends on you. When deciding to return to the former location of a loved one, the guilty person must be careful about the smallest details.
Reunion stages after a violent quarrel:
- COLD MIND. Cool down, make a decision to renew the relationship.
- SINCERE RECOGNITION. Do not play around, do not lie, be extremely honest. Lies will negate all efforts, sincerity is your trump card. Eye to eye talk about your "feat", about the feeling of guilt, anxiety, regret. Choose your words carefully, emphasize that you are ready for revelation:
“I understand how I offended you. I really want to fix everything. I am ready to listen, to answer any question ”.
“Honey, I understand that I hurt you, I myself am tired of this lie. I really want to fix everything. " - REGRET. The irreparable happened, you can't rewind the tape back. But to express remorse about this is the simplest thing. Three times honesty, faith in victory. It is important to look convincing: the outcome of the story depends on how well the conversation is built.
- RETURN OF PRE-TRUST. Difficult, but you can try. Eliminate all contacts with your ex-girlfriend (from virtual to real) that cause jealousy. If necessary, change your job, environment, so as not to meet that passion, and to prove to your wife that you will not return to your past "relationship". Cross out and fill in "those" relationships!
- ROMANTIC ATTITUDE. Show wonders of sensitivity, charm, ingenuity. To surprise, delight, extol is the task of the guilty man. Try to restore warm intimacy.
Talk more often that your wife is beautiful, that she cooks deliciously, that she is a good mother. But beautiful words alone are not enough. Take the trouble to surprise with flowers, your favorite sweets. Take on some of the chores around the house, helping even with something insignificant will play into the hands.
- Deed. From an enchanting original surprise to a simple but very desirable one. It can be an orchestra with invited musicians, fireworks under the windows, or a gold decoration - a sign of recognition. Much depends on fantasy, activity, the truth of feelings, the size of the wallet. Although the cost of an event is often irrelevant. Sometimes a poem read from the heart will eclipse hundreds of paper bills.
- Transition to a new stage. In a romantic period, a guy can offer to move in: lead a joint life, share one bed, then have a wedding. A man in marriage can tell about the dream of having children (second, third, fourth). Move to a new apartment, change city, country. Perhaps get married. Of course, fateful decisions must be made in a balanced and responsible manner.
- A change of scenery. This option will discharge the high tension of two loving hearts. It is surprisingly easy to arrange a walk along the night streets, to take her out of town. If possible, go on a trip to the cities of your native country, to the shore of the warm sea. Avoiding the usual, destructive: everyday life, everyday life, reasons for quarrels, fuss. The couple in love will once again plunge into the atmosphere of irrepressible passion.
Frequent mistakes
- The best defense is offense? In this case, this is the worst model of behavior to shield yourself. It is disgusting to be personal, to point out obvious flaws in appearance, in the conduct of life, in raising children, to hit on self-esteem ("you are a slob", "a bad hostess", "this is all due to the fact that our relationship has become boring and outdated") ... By protecting yourself in this way, you wipe your feet on your own creation.
- Child manipulation. Call for peace, affecting the interests of the baby. Public quarrels (fights) and a showdown will not bring the desired results, but will bring you even closer to divorce.
Never interfere with your own children in your swearing! Do not speculate with them, as in this situation they already have the worst. Whatever happens, they don't deserve to suffer. They love both mom and dad and just want to see them next to them, to feel that everything is fine in their world.
- Avoiding reality. Offend, yell, and then go into a binge with grief. Drinking in the river, regular drinking is one hundred percent way to lose the remnants of respect.
- At the moment when a woman seems wrong to you, ask yourself: "Do I want to hurt my beloved?" Irritation, anger is a bad ally. You should not offend, hurt a loved one, swear.
- A sober approach. Controlling your emotions, restraining anger is the golden rule of those who want to live happily ever after in the bonds of legal marriage. Humiliation, a journey through the weaknesses of a loved one is low. The sediment, the brightest words will remain in memory for a long time, like scars. At the wrong moment, they will break out, destroying harmony.
- Make peace after the passions have subsided. Having calmed down, it is easier to find a common language than being angry.
- Stop provocations immediately. A dangerous, disturbing moment can be easily translated into a joke, played up with a compliment. After all, from any domestic turmoil in the future, a new scandal may flare up.
If, for example, you scattered your socks and your spouse began to swear again, jokingly reply that you just love to watch her delightfully bend over to pick them up off the floor.
- Say no to comparisons. You are not Vanya, you are not Petya's best friend. And your wife is not their faithful. And if your friends often tell how one hit his wife, and nothing happened after that, the other practices humiliation in communication, etc., you do not need to reach for the "bar" of friends, leave alone their negative deeds. After all, every woman knows her own worth, and if the spouses of friends are ready to endure such an attitude, let them suffer. And your wife probably doesn't deserve it. Love and value your family. Live your life.
- Relationships are 24/7 work, tireless work. Find compromises, make concessions, remember that a bad peace is better than any war. Learn to live in harmony with yourself, your environment.
Only by holding hands tightly can one walk the multi-colored, bright, extraordinary path of life into a brighter future. Many live with the flow, while others set the direction of their own ocean of love. They paint waves, a quiet pier with a cozy house on the sandy shore. Conflict is just a disease. It is the will of a person, creator, artist to heal, recover or kill a relationship.