SMS that will support in difficult times. How to support a man in a difficult situation? Words of support

17.09.2019

I understand the desire of the reader of this article to find universal words of support for another person. Well, I will try to write them, or rather, write a few recommendations on how to find them. At the same time, the beginning of this article for a few people may seem of little interest and not important. In this case, I suggest skipping a few paragraphs to read and find what they are looking for. For myself, I leave the desire to first describe the mechanism by which the desire or inability to support other people is formed.

Anyone who grew up in an environment and atmosphere of lack of attention and warmth, care and comforting words of support, is not able to give attention and care, to support a person in difficult times with words. This happens often, but not always.

There are rare exceptions in which a person, having no experience of support from other people, strives to compensate for the lacking quality of character in himself. How does this happen? He pays great attention to what happens in his relations with people, how he communicates with them, takes into account the needs of another, and gradually, changing his treatment of others, rebuilds his behavior to the desired one. Over time, the experience solidifies and becomes a natural style of communication.

In situations of crisis or, a person with a new style of communication is able to lose control of himself and return to the previous style of communication, ignoring, suppressing, the other person. A kind of “swing” can haunt a person all his life, and a feeling of guilt towards himself for such breakdowns can also haunt his whole life.

According to my observations from work experience, I noticed that people never told me that in childhood they were deprived of toys, things and other material joys. At the same time, I always come across stories in which people talk about how they were deprived of warmth and support. This gave me the idea that it is parental care, warmth and support that is fundamental in the development of the human psyche.

Just feeding a child, dressing for the weather, bathing and going for walks with him is not enough. There is also an emotional sphere that strives for satisfaction through words of sympathy, verbal support, bodily contact (hugging, stroking, touching), recognizing the right to one's opinion, .... Ignoring the emotional sphere in raising a child means depriving the child of the opportunity to fully develop.

A year and a half ago, I witnessed a conversation between men, one of whom said: we ourselves push children away from us, ignoring their interests and desires, skimp on the manifestation of feelings, and then wonder why children treat us so coldly. Me and my friend, these seemingly simple words made me think.

Words of support in difficult times, or in moments of life choices, are incredibly important for someone who is in a difficult emotional state. It seems that the words of support do not allow you to fall into the abyss, and give the feeling that "I am not alone with my problem, that there is someone who understands me and shares my feelings with me."

I don't know what words of support are universal for all people, but the fact that a person will be attentive to the concerns and problems of another is very supportive in itself. No need to think that they are not important to another person, and that he can easily do without them. If you are looking for universal words of support in this article that you would like to say to another person, then I will write the following: say sincerely what you feel. If you feel pain, joy, anxiety, for another person ( you know, your story somehow resonates with sadness, and I understand how hard it is for you now. Is there any way I can support you?), sometimes it’s better to talk about it than - “don’t worry, everything will pass” ... Such words do not console, and sometimes, they only exacerbate sensitivity. After all, a person does not know whether it will “pass” or “not pass”, because it is difficult for him now.

Tell yourself how you feel - it helps a lot! Joint experience, sharing of feelings, is much more supportive than banal consoling words without sincerity. If there are no sincere feelings, I think it would be easier if the person was simply silent, since forced words without sincerity are felt and perceived by another person as false. After all, no one forces you to necessarily say something when, for example, a friend has a problem.

It is not necessary to support another person only in difficult moments, but also in moments of joy when he manages to start or complete an important business. Supporting a person ONLY in difficult times, one involuntarily creates a feeling of a one-sided relationship (for me, it is only important when you have difficult periods in your life).

If you want to support another person with words, but don’t know what to say, ask yourself the question - “if I had the same situation, what words of support would I like to hear”? Write them down. If there are several options, what - just wonderful - there are plenty to choose from. Then, listening to your feelings, and choose what “catches” you more.

There are people who deliberately do not say words of support, purely for their own materialistic reasons. A case from practice comes to mind in which a woman said that her husband did not support her interests and desires.

—Sometimes, he just opposes satisfying my needs and sets his own terms..
— I have a feeling that if he supported you in your ideas, interests, then you could even move mountains., - I said.
— Yes, but when he forbids me to do anything myself, I don’t want to create a conflict, and I stop wanting.
— I also have a feeling that he is simply afraid that you will become independent, because it is beneficial for him that you are dependent on him - this is how he feels his own. I also have a feeling that he satisfies his needs at the expense of you.
— Yes.

I have met people for whom it is so difficult to speak words of support that they choose to remain silent, or even talk nonsense. Not only are they unable to talk about support, they also manage to demand it for themselves from other people in various ways. This is not the limit of arrogance, it is a property of character, which is based on the parent-child relationship, which is perceived as the ultimate arrogance.

There are still people who do everything to the maximum in order to get support, recognition. They try to be good, to meet someone's expectations (sometimes created by their own imagination), to look appropriate (and what will they think of me), in order to satisfy the need for recognition. At the same time, when they receive support, recognition, attention, they behave as if no one showed interest in them. It seems that they remain forever emotionally "hungry", unable to accept what they need, and what they so carefully try to get from other people in a relationship. But that is another story…

Funeral words of encouragement

Several times I attended the funerals of my relatives and friends, acquaintances and not so much, and I can say with confidence that the words of support at the funeral, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, are superfluous. At the same time, support and assistance in organizing a funeral, material support, or just being nearby is very important. I think that there are no universal words of support that could calm someone who is experiencing the trauma of loss.

Support is a very important moment for harmonious relationships in a couple. A woman who can properly support at some difficult moment in her life will be greatly appreciated by a man! Therefore, it is important to understand how to support a man when he feels bad.

This is what the non-banal women's website will tell about.

Mistakes that women make when they want to support a man

Let's start with the analysis of the wrong actions that women commit with the best of intentions.

A pity. No man, in any situation, will be pleased that a woman shows him compassionate sympathy (although it is sincere). You can’t hint that he is pathetic, weak and powerless in the face of circumstances (even if in some situation this is true). A man should know that his woman considers him strong and able to overcome any difficulties.
Don't comfort. No need to look for the "bright side of the coin."
Bravura joy, attempts to cheer. If a man is sad, then your fake gaiety will annoy him doubly. Strong men must experience their bad mood themselves.
obsessive kindness, attempts to please, appease, distract, etc. This annoys the man, as he understands that the woman is behaving this way on purpose. In men's eyes, this is an extra reminder of trouble.
Inquiries about what happened, why is he upset. The fact is that we, women, judge by ourselves - it becomes easier for most of us if we speak out, tell about our problem and our feelings to a loved one. And men need to "shut up"! And questions depress them even more than indifference! After all, a man wants to look successful in front of a woman, and not talk about his failures! If you don’t know how to support a man when he feels bad, words and questions may turn out to be completely superfluous!

inquiries "Are you sad because of me?", “what did I do to you?”, “are you offended by me?”, etc. Dealing with relationships is the worst thing you can do. If a man is sad for a third-party reason, then it will be unpleasant for him to make excuses. If he is really upset about something that is connected with you, either he himself wants to talk, or he is able to keep quiet and forgive you after some time, without scenes and dramas. But it is possible that he himself feels guilty in front of you and is thinking about how to correct his guilt ... In general, there is no need to climb with suspicions and conjectures, he himself will tell if he sees fit!
Persistent offers to help, intervene in the situation, fix everything together, etc. If a man screwed up himself, then he must also fix it himself. You don’t have to be a “mommy” for him, who runs to save the stupid “son” from all life's troubles. This will once again aggravate his self-awareness! Of course, there are situations when your help is really needed, but it’s better to wait until the man himself asks you for specific help or asks for your advice. An exception is perhaps a serious illness, injury, etc., when a person needs care, but he himself may not ask for this help.

What support do men need from women?

But what to do if you want to support a man when he feels bad? It is important to feel what a loved one needs, what his mood is ...

If in a couple you “feel” each other at all, then this happens almost on an unconscious level. There is a chance that you will guess with your heart what will now become support for your loved one!

But it’s still worth reading on the Beautiful and Successful website how to support a man if he feels bad. Wise women do this:

If the husband has just appeared on the doorstep, and you already guess about the troubles by his face, in no case show it! Behave as usual, and watch his reaction.
Usually, it is very easy to guess from a man whether he wants to talk or, on the contrary, needs solitude or just silence. If a man responds to your words sullenly, with irritation, in short phrases, it’s better to postpone attempts to communicate at all until later. Do not impose with your company - perhaps the man just wants to be alone (alone in a room, or in the same room, but not talking about anything). Observe, but do not peer anxiously and do not run up with different “test” reasons every 10 minutes (“Do not open the window?”, “Will you have borscht?”, “Didn’t your mother call today?”, Etc.). He wants to talk - he will speak himself, and ask for borscht, and open the window.
Sometimes a good option, how to support a man when he feels bad, is to be there, but in silence. Sit or lie down - maybe just each with his own magazine, but feeling a touch to each other. Many men love a relaxing back or leg massage, it is a good anti-stress therapy. If a man needs your close presence, he will sit next to you! The key point is not to impose yourself and do not use this moment either to start a serious conversation or to chat in monologue mode. Just shut up and be with your loved one.

Prepare a man something tasty and satisfying, make tea for him. Offer to have dinner - again, a minimum of words, and do not insist if he does not want to eat. But in general, men also tend to “seize” stress (well, if you don’t drink it!). Even with the current ostentatious indifference to food, he will appreciate and in the depths of his soul he will be grateful to you for this care.
Don't make noise, don't rattle dishes and other things, don't do anything like general cleaning, ask the children to go to the nursery and don't pull on dad. Ideally, do something of your own, sit at a laptop or sit down to read, but in such a way that a man understands that you are here, you are nearby, you are ready for dialogue, for help, for active support at any time!
How to support a man when he feels bad, at a distance - once ask how you can help specifically. If nothing, say that he is great, that he is strong and will certainly cope, he should be lucky, etc., that you believe in him and approve of his decisions. Do not talk about the problem in an overly ironic way, even if you want to somehow support a man when he feels bad - this may look in his eyes as a misunderstanding of the seriousness of the troubles, indifference to his affairs, or (worst of all!) - as you ridicule him himself. Save the sarcasm for later. Either give good advice (if a man asks for it!), Or just assure your loved one that you are sure of him and always support him, no matter how the problem situation develops!

As you understand, supporting a man when he feels bad is more important by creating a calm, cozy atmosphere around him, and not by obsessive chores!

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It is best to deal with your shortcomings when there is support and support nearby.

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Sometimes we need the support of strangers more than our own.

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Happiness has turned its back, it will turn its facade!

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Love builds and does not break, pleases and does not torment, heals and does not hurt, supports and does not upset.

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I would like to hug you so that it doesn’t hurt you so much, to support you ... But, unfortunately, I’m just a text for you now ...

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The ability of a man to achieve success and conquer the peaks directly depends on the ability of a woman to give him the necessary incentive, bestowing her love, support and trust.

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Friends can be defined by how much they will support you and understand when you need it most.

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I can do anything because you believe in me...

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No one will understand you and console you better than yourself.

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As long as you are alive, no matter what happens, you have you.

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Somewhere it’s good… Somewhere it’s bad… You just need support… Then everything will be fine…

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If you need a helping hand, don't forget that you have two of them.

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It's impossible to help everyone. Help at least those who are infinitely dear to you.

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“The psychologist does not cry, he does not need to. Support and help - why does he need this? ”... Do you think that if we treat other people's souls, we don’t have our own?!

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If a person comes towards you with an outstretched hand, this does not mean that he intends to ask for your mercy, perhaps he is ready to offer you a hand on which you can lean.

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And even if the whole world is against him... and if everyone says that he is wrong... I will still come up, take his hand and stand by his side. And not because he is bad or good ... but because he is a part of my soul ... and I cannot refuse myself.

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There will be everything and ups and downs, the joy of tears and longing in the chest, but believe that there will be good things, you ask, please - BE TERRIBLE.

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Everyone needs support...

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A woman differs from a woman in that she does not need anyone's support. Including the bra.

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Even if it's too empty inside - clench your fists harder. After all, when you are torn to pieces, seeming happy is an art!

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Before saving a friend, make sure that he needs this rescue. Maybe what you consider a disaster is now a blessing for him. By interfering, you risk depriving a friend of happiness.
And myself - a friend ...

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But there will definitely be a morning when, throwing back the blanket and looking at the sun outside the window, you will realize that everything is not so bad)) After all, it shines for you!

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Girl, stop making plans for the past, an equally wonderful future awaits you)))

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I realized the mistake, remembered it, supported myself and ... optimistically went further ...

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Very often, men need even more support than women. And where to get it, if you yourself so need a man's shoulder and an affectionate word ...

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Sometimes you don’t want to find out and decide anything, you don’t want to look for options ... you just need a few words of love and support.

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Everything can be overcome. If only close people were nearby!

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Supporting another strengthens himself...

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I have such friends that sometimes I'm ready to shoot them. But if not for them, he would have shot himself a long time ago.

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Real success is when you are supported by people whose eyes you have not even seen.

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Sometimes it is very important that someone pays attention to your mood! no need to console, give advice! enough to notice the very change in this mood!

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Time will tell. Just try to feel the situation. hit and develop the ability. The main thing is to gain knowledge. Support in life. It's good that you care. The comfort and warmth of the hearth provides good support.

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How important it is to have a person nearby who will help in word and deed, support and guide!

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In the end, you will remember not the words of enemies, but the silence of friends.

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It's nice to know that there are people nearby who are ready to stand up for you.

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If I need support, I will buy myself a corset.

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Difficult?! Always difficult! But if there is a supportive and loving person in your life, you can survive everything ... always!!! Hand in hand TOGETHER!!!

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If you see a light ahead, show it to those who are afraid of the dark, let them touch its warmth freezing ...

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I cherish people who are with me in moments of terrible grief, and in moments of immense happiness, but the rest simply do not exist for me!

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The worst thing is when you really need support, and you sit with your phone in your hand and don't know whose number to dial.

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Thank you, Lord, that YOU allowed me to open my soul, and now you save it by opening my eyes ...

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Wisdom seeks to support with a word, to drop stupidity.

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Nowadays, many men would rather trip a woman than a shoulder or a neck!!!

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Support is not to be found in a friend or a cigarette. In myself.

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Kind words always sound like wonderful music to those who have a heavy heart.

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In order to gain spiritual support in old age, you need to cultivate it in your children in time.

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They held hands as they floated to the surface. A good thing is the hand of a friend. It does not oblige the one who holds it out to anything, and it is very comforting to the one who shakes it ...

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If you have nothing to give into the hands of the needy, give something to his heart. One word of support can lift a person out of the darkness of despair.

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How you want to snuggle up to someone and calm down, but all the time you have to substitute your shoulder and calm down.

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That person is valued, putting a hand on whose shoulder, you are sure that you will not fall ...

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In sadness, we become excessively proud. We create the appearance that we don’t need anyone, even though someone else’s hand on our shoulder is so important to us.

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Mom's support is the best sedative)))

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It's just great: to have in your life a person whom you call in a deep depression ... And you hang up with a crazy desire to live!

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People are very fond of reproaching, blaming, drawing wrong conclusions, but you can’t wait for support and simple understanding.

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A husband is a support for his wife, and a wife is a support for her husband.

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There are disagreements in family life, but you should never plant each other, especially in public, and you must fight back from strangers together. Then everything will be fine!

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Everyone dreams of beautiful love, but few people understand that it begins not with the words “I, me, mine, I want” but with the question, what can I do for you?

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Never despair. There will always be someone who can support you. The main thing is to be able to see it.

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The best gift from a friend is his presence and support in difficult times.

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Losing balance in life, a woman must quickly find a strong male shoulder - even if she doesn’t hold it, it will be more pleasant to fall)

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By supporting a woman, a man receives approval in return, followed by satisfaction.

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But there is nothing better than hearing from a loved one, when you feel really bad, the phrase: “Don't worry, everything will be fine! 'Cause I'm with you

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Giving a kind word to a person in trouble is often as important as switching the switch on a railroad track in time: only one inch separates disaster from smooth and safe movement through life.

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A friend is another wing that we sometimes lack ...

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When a wife supports her husband, spreads his wings with her love, he becomes invulnerable.

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“Mercy consists not only in material help, but in the spiritual support of one's neighbor. Spiritual support, first of all, is not in condemning your neighbor, but in respect for his human dignity.

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If from childhood you are afraid to overpraise, then after that there will be no reason ...

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“She has no chance,” circumstances declared loudly.
"She's a loser," the people shouted. “She will succeed,” God said quietly.

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How many are willing to teach, how few are able to console.

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Sometimes you sit and rejoice in someone else's happiness, sincerely, without envy ... and it becomes so warm in your soul ...

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I am depressed? No, it's He who is depressed, and I'm with you on the site :)!!!

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Sometimes the people who support us are not the ones we expected to receive support from.

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Hold on tight to the hand sincerely extended to you in a moment of despair. And don't forget to extend yours in return.

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Those who supported me when I fell - now HOLD ON - we are taking off!

Statuses about support

Sometimes life gives a guy unexpected unpleasant surprises, and it is so important that in difficult times there is a person nearby who can provide such necessary support. Of course, at such moments, intuition comes to the aid of many women, but not always and not everyone will find the right words and way of communication.

In some cases, wanting to help and not understanding how to do it correctly, you can even harm and aggravate the already difficult condition of a loved one. Therefore, it is so important to have an idea of \u200b\u200bhow to support a guy and help him survive difficulties.

It is easy for any girl to determine the moments when her boyfriend is not in a good mood. All people are different, and each needs its own approach, which a loved one can always feel. General rules of conduct will help you navigate difficult moments and provide such important support.

Create a cozy home environment in which the guy can relax. Take care of him, cook your favorite dish, turn on good music, have a relaxing massage, a bath with aromatic oils, or offer to watch an interesting movie. Leave him alone with you or doing what you love. It is important that the guy feels that the house is the place where he is loved, appreciated, expected and allowed to be himself.
Radiate optimism and confidence that all problems will be solved in the future, even if you yourself believe in it with difficulty. The guy should feel your faith in him.
Try to help with unobtrusive advice, smoothly lead him to a solution to the problem or push him to specific actions, but so that he makes the choice of the solution himself.
For some people, it is important to take a break from the problem for a while and switch their attention to something else, so suggest taking a walk in the park, going to the cinema or theater.
It is important for many people to speak out, after which it becomes easier on the soul, and options for solving the problem appear. In this case, become an attentive and patient listener, do not interrupt him and say a few words of support at the end.
Do not let your boyfriend fall into a long-term depression, support him psychologically, because love can work wonders, and tenderness and affection are its best helpers.

Tell him important words of support that will help comfort him during difficult periods:

It is not your fault;
Your decision will certainly bear fruit;
You will definitely succeed.

No matter how independent and strong a man is, he needs your support and expects it from you - be sensitive.

How to support a guy during an illness

Health problems are hard to bear for everyone. In such cases, do not show pity, try to cheer up the sick guy in a joking manner and set him up for a speedy recovery. Knowing that his presence is missed by friends and loved ones will be a support - feel free to say it. Switch your attention to what he will do when he is cured. Plan together an exciting trip to a long-awaited place or an interesting walk.

How not to behave

Many girls, feeling a guy’s bad mood, not understanding how to behave correctly, can do even more harm in such situations. What can't be done?

Support is an important moment in everyone's life. When there is a person nearby who is able to lend a hand in difficult times, it is worth a lot. In a relationship between a man and a woman, one of the main components is how they help each other in life. Despite the fact that guys are considered the stronger sex, it is very important for them to have a reliable rear. A partner who knows how to support a man in a difficult situation, he will appreciate. This will be discussed in this article.

How to support a man in a difficult life situation?

If you see that a sad thought has fallen on the face of a loved one, he refuses to eat and prefers loneliness - troubles have happened in his life. And whatever character they may be - competent behavior of a loved one he needs now.

The strategy of your actions will depend on his temperament, but try to adhere to the following rules:

You can't solve other people's problems, but you can set the person in the right mood. When he is relaxed and calm, his thoughts line up in the right places.

How to do it from a distance?

Being far from your loved one, it is difficult to understand the situation, and this makes it hard for you. Knowing that he is in trouble and needs support, and you cannot be around, you begin to feel sad. But it's not right. More precisely, you will still be sad, it is wrong to show your excitement.

Sometimes at a distance you can bring more benefit to a person than being nearby. It all depends how and what you will say to him:

If something out of the ordinary happened, the main thing is not to panic. Listen calmly and respond calmly and judiciously. By showing him your fright with intonation during a telephone conversation or in a letter, you reinforce his sadness, and speaking confidently, calm him down;
You need to help him look at the situation from the outside, so try to describe the problem as you see it. Give a couple of positive arguments and suggest solutions;
Some guys don't like to talk about their difficulties. In this case, even knowing about the troubles, you will talk on abstract topics. Tell us how you are doing, what you are going to do. Maybe he needs to forget now to relax.

And do not allow sarcasm, all sorts of jokes. When a person has emotions, he can misunderstand them, especially at a distance.

How to support a man when he feels bad?

The art of being a reliable girlfriend lies in the ability to raise male self-esteem in time. Studies have shown that in men, along with self-esteem, testosterone in the blood drops. And this is the most important hormone for them, it is responsible for strength and attraction, among other things.

At times when the level of this hormone decreases, divorces often occur, as the husband thinks that he is not able to carry his family or takes a mistress to raise his tone. But if he knows that they are waiting at home and believe in him, he will never leave such a woman.

So when your friend or husband is depressed, no matter what the occasion, take care of his self-esteem.

To do this, you need to be able to nourish his masculine principle:

Compliment him;
Praise, celebrate successes;
Create situations where he can express himself.

By helping him, you will help yourself. After all, when a husband has difficulties, he will pay little attention to you. In this situation, you can serve as a source of positive energy, which he will later return to you.

What mistakes should be avoided?

Wanting to help, girls often overdo it and resort to forbidden tricks. Provide for them, otherwise you risk aggravating his condition:

Distinguish between two concepts pity and kindness . There is no worse blow to his ego than pitiful glances and conversations. You can't imply that he's weak or powerless. The guy should know that he is considered strong and reliable, able to overcome difficulties. But it is necessary to caress a little - cook a delicious dinner, rub your back;
Don't try to be funny. Your loud laughter and jokes may seem inadequate and become annoying;
Don't be offended by his bad mood. Let him be silent, stay alone - do not press;
Don't force help. Yes, you want to be a faithful and reliable friend, but you don’t have to become a “clucking mom”. He is an adult, your “groaning” above the ear will give him a sense of inadequacy.

Of course, these rules are not suitable for everyone, someone needs to impose help, perhaps he is waiting for this. Therefore, be guided by the situation and temperament of the partner.

How to support a man in his endeavors?

A friend's success depends on your position. It can be difficult for a guy to believe in himself to the end, and you should become a tailwind for him. Much, of course, will not work. But when he does something and gives all the best - support is needed:

Believe in him. Show by words and behavior that you do not doubt his success;
If possible, invite friends;
Do not criticize in case of minor failures, try to get to the bottom of the matter and offer options for further actions;
Accompany him if necessary. Go to events together.

But in order not to explain for a long time, let's give an example of one athlete, he was engaged in triathlon. His wife, who prepared meals for him during the races, was present at all equipment change points at the competitions, and climbed the last kilometers uphill with him as an escort at one of the distances.

Phrases that can be effective

Use these phrases to bring a man out of a depressive stupor, raise his self-esteem and soften the situation:

Beloved, you are the best (smart, sexy, strong, unflappable, well done);
I am proud of you;
I am calm next to you;
You're talented;
I believe in you;
You can do it;
I'm there, you can count on me;
It is not your fault;
I appreciate what you do.

When saying something to a partner, remember what he wants to see in you:

She listens to me, but does not judge;
Cares, but in moderation;
Talks but does not interrupt;
Near, but does not violate personal space;
Knows shortcomings and knows how not to notice them;
She trusts, will not check.

Of course, this is a variant of the ideal, it is impossible to be like that, because everyone has a different character. But you can follow some rules, especially when he needs help.

So, we tried to understand how to support a man in a difficult situation. It is not such an easy task to find the right words when a person is worried about something. But now it has become clear that sometimes it is better to be silent and show restraint, and sometimes it is necessary to act confidently.

Video about supporting men in difficult situations

In this video, psychoanalyst Tatyana Tolstova will tell you why you should not touch a man who is going through a crisis in life: