Beauty and health of teeth 

How not to hurt male pride. How to protect male pride

Such a quality as pride is expressed in several components: it is, first of all, an overestimated opinion of oneself and one's own capabilities, which is directly related to self-esteem, as well as an overzealous attitude towards one's own personality and an overly sensual attitude towards its assessment by other individuals.

Self-love, in principle, has a place to be in every person, but it is expressed to varying degrees. At the same time, excessively high pride is considered wrong, which can even result in so-called "narcissism". Such people are too painfully perceived by criticism addressed to them on any, even the smallest, occasion. They also tend to feel too strongly and deeply about the refusal of a particular request. It is worth noting that excessive self-esteem can lead to serious consequences when an individual feels too insulted for no adequate reason and may harbor serious revenge.

Wounded pride

Man is a unique and unrepeatable being. Even within their own society, each individual is a unique individual. We all have our own, personal features of appearance and character, a unique combination of qualities, advantages, disadvantages. But at the same time, for each of the people there is something in common. In particular, we all have a sense of self-love in one way or another.

It is impossible to say unequivocally whether the very existence of self-love is something good or bad. Psychologists consider this phenomenon as a special property of the human psyche, which allows the individual to maintain his individuality, things and qualities that are relevant to him. In other words, this is one of those properties that underlie the individual's desire for development, self-improvement, and increasing his value in society.

But is self-esteem really such a good incentive to work on yourself? In this matter, everything is not so simple, because the severity of pride and its manifestation in each individual is very unique. Some people tend to believe that pride is a good reason for keeping self-esteem in its adequate state, while others - that it is nothing more than a negative quality that leads to an exaggeration of the significance of one's own "I". In any case, it is worth noting that both assumptions have a place to be, since pride can really manifest itself in various variations. Adequate self-esteem, as well as a positive assessment of others from the outside, contribute to more persistent self-improvement, but negative criticism, failures and condemnation can cause hurt pride.

In fact, not every one of us can calmly endure negative comments about ourselves from the outside. It all depends on the character of the person, his beliefs and other unique factors of his psyche. Nevertheless, the ability to adequately perceive constructive comments, even if in a negative way, is a very important quality. We all react differently to remarks in general: someone gets very annoyed and starts a quarrel, denying them in every possible way, someone silently swallows the insult, someone's self-esteem suffers greatly.

If you have become a victim of completely unfounded criticism or just resentment against you, then it is best to use the simple advice of psychologists: ignore, accept what the offender said as already happened, move on in life without attaching great importance to such things, because they do not change you and your personality. It is worth noting that in general, a person is a social being and, therefore, is very dependent on social opinion. The slightest praise can elevate us in our own eyes, but criticism or insult can forever discourage further attempts to achieve something. In this case, pride should be considered as a kind of "catalyst" for decisions and actions, but not as a motivation for their formation.

A person with inadequate, inflated pride is very easy to offend. This is, in fact, their hallmark. Sometimes one word is enough, even if it does not carry any intentional connotation or negative connotation, a narcissist is able to find them. At the same time, it is worth distinguishing between pride, which can lead to the development of egocentrism, and the desire to be the first. The latter is a completely normal quality that is inherent in every person and should develop normally. Of course, if it does not go beyond the scope of adequacy.

Wounded pride

In itself, too high self-esteem is not something dangerous, but it is quite another matter if wounded self-esteem develops, to which it can lead. This is bad because a person with such pride is very difficult to perceive criticism addressed to him, in whatever form it is filed, it is generally difficult for him to control himself and adequately perceive the comments addressed to him. Everything said is taken too close to heart, especially if the comments and criticism were not so constructive.

It is very important to develop the ability to properly respond to criticism uttered to you. First of all, it is worth appreciating the criticism and making sure that there really is something in you for which you deserve this kind of criticism. At the same time, if someone recognizes the right of others to criticize him, then he can also demand that a number of his rights be respected by those around him. In particular, criticism of someone's personality should not become public property and, as a rule, it is customary to utter it in a private conversation.

Here are some tips from psychologists on how best to behave in such situations:

  • If you do not understand what the essence of the criticism directed at you is, it is best to ask the person to clarify what exactly he means, rather than trying to build some guesses on your own.
  • It is also important to be able to distinguish the content of criticism, that is, its essence, from the external form. in which she is dressed. The very essence of criticism may be fair, but at the same time, you may not like exactly how it is presented. In such a situation, it is better to immediately say directly: "Your criticism is fair, but you should not get personal."
  • It happens that you categorically disagree with criticism and there are reasons for this. It is worth trying to calmly convey your point of view to your opponent, substantiating it or emphasizing the fact that this is your personal opinion.
  • Always remain calm and . Do not let the interlocutor think that he has suppressed you with something, speak in a calm, upbeat tone of voice.

It is worth emphasizing that the feeling of wounded pride is not just some kind of negative reaction to negative criticism and something like that. In fact, it is also a protective function of the human EGO. It concerns the purely internal problems of the individual, and is also considered feedback from the outside world. That is, it should be understood that an insult based on pride is not some kind of unique character trait, but just a reaction to an external psychological stimulus. Such a person becomes completely incapable of accepting criticism from the outside, introspection, and also prone to inappropriate behavior.

Male pride

In principle, a blow to self-esteem is a painful event for any person, although some people know how to cope with it, so everyone has their own reaction to negative external psychological factors. In particular, men's pride, unlike women's, is more pronounced, so that the representatives of the stronger sex have a much more aggravated reaction. Because of this, they often become somewhat inadequate, uncontrollable and even aggressive. In order to avoid such situations in family life, one should learn to smooth out the emerging “sharp corners”, quickly resolve conflict situations and, in which case, make concessions. It is very useful to find out what most often leads to irritation of men, and what actions on the part of a woman they are simply not able to forgive.

Most of the fair sex rely too heavily on their impunity, perceiving it as the right to say anything about men, without fear of incurring responsibility, and also to achieve their goals in any way possible. It is believed that a loving husband is able to forgive his soul mate everything. In principle, the way it is, especially if such "antics" do not go beyond certain limits. But at some point, a situation suddenly sets in when a man becomes tough, is no longer controllable and is able to surprise his wife very much. That is why any woman should feel a certain line that should not be crossed in a relationship with a man in any case.

Of course, in the first place it is worth noting female infidelity. We emphasize that cheating on the part of the spouse, as a rule, for a man is not at all like his own cheating. For example, if the spouse himself cheated, then he can quite rightly note for himself that his betrayal was only a need for intimacy, so that his wife still remains the only and dear to him. At the same time, it is often believed that infidelity on the part of a woman is more associated with feelings, based on sympathy, the need for affection and love. That is, the wife's betrayal is a direct hint for a man that she no longer treats him as her only one, so the relationship is already completely different.

So cheating hurts a man's pride very much. There are times when a man is able to forgive betrayal, but in the future he is still unlikely to forget the very fact of what happened, so that the relationship will never be the same again.

Also, many men cannot stand situations when a woman assigns herself a leading position in their relationship. Any man, whatever he is, always wants to feel like a support, necessary, irreplaceable. If a woman takes on the role of mistress of the situation every time a difficult situation arises, this greatly affects his pride. The same goes for comparing a man to someone else better than him.

Manipulation in intimate relationships is another easy way to hurt male pride. Any excuses in bed like a sore head and a bad mood, especially if they are too frequent, are just an excuse to push him to change. Demanding for intimacy the fulfillment of whims and the purchase of gifts is an even worse idea.

You can easily piss off a man if you put him in a negative light in front of friends or even close relatives. The representatives of the stronger sex want to be wealthy and reliable, almost perfect and irreplaceable for their companions, so ridicule or too aggressive criticism from the woman they love is an excessively painful blow for them.

There are a number of women's actions and habits that easily annoy men. They also include endless chatter on the phone, gossip, aimless running around the shops ... Men can easily turn a blind eye to many of these things and not focus on it. However, don't overuse it.

Women's pride

What, in turn, distinguishes women's self-esteem from men's? First of all, psychologists note the fact that it is often unreasonably high, so it can be very easy to hurt him, and this can be done quite suddenly, uttering just one “wrong” word. At the same time, a woman, being wounded, is able to turn into a real "monster". They start resentment and revenge for a long time, they are able to sting, lie, splurge, stoop to banal insults.

At the same time, it is very easy to hurt the pride of any woman with adultery. Not all of them are able to turn a blind eye to such things, no matter how men try to justify their search for intimacy “on the side” and make their betrayals less significant than the betrayal of the woman herself.

In most cases, according to statistics, the initiators of divorces and breakups in relationships are women themselves. At the same time, betrayal, one of the most frequent acts leading to this, happens on the basis of a decrease in emotional ties in the family. Very often a woman is pushed to such a decisive step by wounded pride.

If there was a betrayal by the husband. And the wife finds out about this, she faces a very difficult question: to come to terms with this, learn to live and forgive, try to maintain the past relationship with the person who has always been close and dear? Or listen to your pride and stop everything in the bud? Psychologists recommend that women try to take a neutral position, relax, not get excited, in order to make the right decision from their point of view in the future, and not to chop off their shoulders.

Self-esteem is a sense of self-worth associated with excessive attention to one's person.

A proud man is one who is “confident” in himself and demands demonstration of this confidence from others.

The paradox lies in the fact that a self-lover in every possible way shows self-admiration, confidence, but, demanding confirmation from the people around him, demonstrates low self-esteem. This is what proud men often "fire on."


So, a wise woman will always see the weak point of a man and, if necessary, can play with it.

If you have a desire to play with male pride, hurt him a little or as much as possible, the following tips will certainly help.

Decide on motivation

Naturally, a woman will not hurt the male ego for no reason. It means that the man was guilty somewhere, did not please something. He did not please so that he wants to punish. But!

Before transgressing to immediate revenge, it is worth considering your motivation and the consequences, which, I assure you, will be. Such an analysis should be based on your attitude towards the personality of a man and the desire to build a relationship with him.


If a man is dear to you, you love him and want to be together, then the options to hurt his pride will be different than in the case when a woman is not particularly interested in a man and she does not plan to continue a relationship with him.

If a man is loved, then NEVER use his pain points as revenge. In the case of low male self-esteem, this can lead to a break in relations instantly.

The task of a woman is to help a man cultivate self-confidence, and not to crush her because of her resentment. The resentment will pass, but the male complex will remain. Your man "Thank you" for this will not say, and on the part of a woman it is unworthy.

If a woman is not interested in a man and is ready to part with him, then pressure on the sore spot is what the doctor ordered!

Ignore him

At all times, ignoring is considered the most effective way to offend male pride.


If you want to gently convey to your beloved man: “You shouldn’t do this to me like you did, honey,” then turn on ignoring his basic needs. NOT PAINFUL POINTS, but other significant needs. Oh, you were rude to me in the morning, then I will not cook and wash clothes. Or talk to you for 3 days.

If you want to hurt a man who is not close and not beloved, then you can ignore it as much as possible. Do not answer phone calls or messages. Do not respond to requests and words at all.

The lack of feedback from a woman will hurt even the most impenetrable man.

But the maximum ignore is fraught, mainly, with parting. If you do not want to keep a man in your life - go for it! Men do not forget to ignore.

Compare with other men

No one likes to be compared with others, especially men. Especially if beloved women are compared with other men, hinting at a frank loss in favor of others.

Comparisons with former or just other men are another effective way to hurt male pride.


Your friend Nikita has a cool haircut, but what is on your head, God forgive me?!

Make fun of him in bed

No man will miss a joke about his sexuality and ability to please a woman. If you want to hurt his pride, you can ridicule his manhood, penis size, some technical skills.

In 99.9% of cases of such jokes, this will be your last sex with him, but you will complete the task of hurting him.

Ignore his care

A man who is interested in a woman will take care of her. Both verbal and material. He will try in every possible way to help her solve some problem, cope with an important matter, etc.

Men do it instinctively, trying to show a woman their attitude and favor towards her.

If you begin to neglect his help, ridicule any attempts to solve something, or humiliate his ability to provide for you, the man will be hurt.

Padding around the form

Self-love is a distorting lens through which we meticulously try to see and examine ourselves. And the greater our pride, the more distorted, inadequate and painful we react to everything that other people think and say about us. And consequently, the more influence public opinion has on our self-esteem. Any prism, as you know, has two sides, and when we look at ourselves through the prism of our own inflated pride, then we constantly rush from one extreme to the other - we exalt ourselves when those around us praise and love, then we trample and hate ourselves when we are not accepted and criticized.

The root of morbid pride is a hypertrophied and swollen ego. Ego is a mask that a person tries on himself in order to better present himself to others and like himself more, and with which he gradually begins to identify himself. We can say that our Ego is a part of our personality, which we recognize as our “I”, these are our ideas about ourselves. Moreover, these ideas are very shaky, unstable and strongly depend on the current moment - on our successes or failures, as well as on whether people around us praise or condemn us. When we are accepted, loved, praised and encouraged, our ego inflates to incredible proportions, but as soon as someone criticizes us, our self-esteem immediately falls from heaven to earth.

The main reason for all the unpleasant moments associated with pride is our misunderstanding of our true existential nature. We do not know how to love and accept ourselves as we are. Any person consists of merits and demerits, and if we accept only our merits and hate shortcomings, then by doing so we destroy our inner integrity, and, as a result, acquire all sorts of complexes and phobias. If we love ourselves because we are smart, or beautiful, or talented, then as soon as someone doubts our beauty or talents, we immediately begin to hate both the person who hurt our pride and ourselves.
In order to avoid the mental suffering that wounded pride causes us, we must look for a foothold not in the attitude of those around us, and not in our own merits and achievements (all this is very relative), but in self-love. It should be clarified that self-love and self-love have nothing in common. Self-love is self-acceptance with all the pluses and minuses, and self-love is a claim to ideality, it is pride that cannot come to terms with its own imperfection. Self-love is the main condition for a person's psychological health, while inflated self-love is the main source of our inner discomfort and mental suffering. Self-love is our core, which makes us psychologically invulnerable to external circumstances.

Therefore, only by moving the fulcrum to self-love, a person can find harmony both with himself and with the world around him. Only when we stop being afraid of the criticism of the people around us can we truly love them. A proud person makes friends and maintains good relations only with those who constantly pour oil on his sick pride, who praise him, encourage him, and make compliments. And only the one who loves and accepts himself can calmly, without resentment, listen to objective criticism from friends and be indifferent to ridicule and insults from ill-wishers. Someone loves and accepts us, and someone does not love and does not accept us - and this is normal!

Self-love does not exclude self-criticism and self-improvement. Moreover, it is much easier for someone who sincerely loves himself to follow the path of self-improvement than for someone who claims to be ideal and irreproachable and does not want to admit his shortcomings. Self-love allows us to look inside ourselves and objectively assess our own strengths and weaknesses. A self-loving person can forgive himself for any shortcoming, but at the same time, he is always ready to work on correcting it. And all because he does not identify himself with his strengths and weaknesses, he understands that his true self is much deeper and is beyond both advantages and disadvantages.

Self-love, hiding under the guise of self-love - is not true self-love! Inflating our pride, we are trying to defend ourselves and save not our true “I”, but our punctured and wounded Ego. When we forget that our Ego is just a mask that we put on for others, we begin to identify ourselves with our Ego, gradually grow together with it, cling to it to the last, and then, when it begins to collapse under the influence of circumstances, we we break down with him.

Each person has a so-called "dark" side of his personality, which he prefers not to show to others. C. G. Jung calls this "dark" side of the human personality the "shadow". Our “shadow” is everything that we do not like and do not accept in ourselves, these are the features of our personality that we are ashamed of and would like to get rid of. The more a person's self-esteem is inflated, the more he is afraid and ashamed of his "shadow" and the more stress he gets when he inevitably encounters its manifestations. Being ashamed of our own “shadow”, we forget that it is a part of our personality, and thus only exacerbate our own fears, phobias and all kinds of complexes.

Self-acceptance and self-love open up enormous opportunities for self-expression for a person and give him inexhaustible strength for the successful realization of his personal potential. Self-love helps us build harmonious relationships with others, both business and personal. Only the one who loves and accepts himself can sincerely love and accept another person, but at the same time not become dependent on a relationship with him. A person who loves himself will not suffer if his love turns out to be unrequited, because when loving, he gives much more than he takes. A proud person, on the contrary, craves and demands love for you and suffers greatly when he is not loved and repulsed.

In order to understand and feel our true "I", we first need to abstract from our own Ego. We must take off the false mask and understand that it and our real "I" are not the same thing. A person who can at least for a moment see his true essence, feel his true “I”, at that moment will experience not pride, and not shame or fear, but only infinite freedom. Padding around the form

Everything seems to be fine: you love each other, and you like to spend time together, and you dream of a joint future. But sometimes it inflates like a soap bubble, and when it bursts, there is not enough space for everyone and, first of all, for you. So what are you doing wrong? Why does he break down on you, seemingly from scratch? Eh, you disturbed the male ego, and it is strictly forbidden to do this.

So, the male ego is the inner side of every man, and the side is special and in some ways even incomprehensible, since it needs a special approach. The fact is that it is the male ego that reveals the whole essence of a man. All male incarnations: hunter, conqueror, breadwinner, head of the family, womanizer, lover - they all find their reflection, but rather even originate in the masculine principle.

  • In other words, the male ego is the pride of a man, by touching which you can undermine his faith in himself and subject him to the collapse of his values.

Of course, one can talk endlessly about male pride, since this is a rather unexplored area of ​​\u200b\u200bmale consciousness, but this is already the prerogative of psychologists, and our task is to figure out how to live next to a man in such a way that his male pride is not hurt.

You see, the Ego in question is a very delicate and fragile thing. A man is only seemingly so strong (meaning morally), but in fact, it is very easy to offend and hurt him. Moreover, not necessarily in specific words, the male ego is sensitive even to hints. So they said something wrong, and that's it, wait for the debriefing, scandals, an offended face and pouting lips. The male ego visually resembles a soap bubble that inflates - it inflates from resentment and discontent, and then how it bursts, that there will not be enough space! Well, let's take a look at the most common women's mistakes that hit on male pride.

Do not rebuke him in front of his friends or strangers

Oh yeah! This is the most important female mistake, having made which, a woman can no longer count on the fact that her man will follow her orders unquestioningly. If your man hasn’t been able to nail a shelf in the bathroom for several months now, or a faucet has been flowing in the kitchen for a week, and at least he doesn’t, you won’t achieve anything if you start criticizing your man in front of strangers.

What is driving a woman at this moment? She thinks that if she shames a man in front of his friends, he will be ashamed and will fix everything immediately. Nothing like this! You will only provoke his aggression. For example, you came to visit your friends, and you say out loud and with all your eloquence: “What beautiful wallpapers you have, but my repair hasn’t been completed for half a year, we live on suitcases!”. Do you think, after such words, he will rush to complete the repairs ?! No, you can forget that it will ever be finished at all. In a man, his pride will jump, and he will begin to do everything in defiance of you.

Psychologists advise in this case to do exactly the opposite. For example, everywhere and constantly praise your man, even if this is completely wrong. By doing this, you amuse male pride, the ion will want to match your words. And, if you are visiting friends and say that your man has golden hands, at home he will immediately take up the ill-fated shelf.

Don't mention your ex

And even more so, do not try to set them as an example to him. Favorite female phrase: “But my ex always hugged me before going to bed” or something else like that. Erase the memories of your ex from your vocabulary once and for all! Male pride implies complete and unconditional possession of his woman..

Of course, he understands perfectly well that you had men before him, but his ego does not want to put up with this, and will not do this! So, if you want to keep your relationship and his nerves safe and sound, in no case do not think about your ex. It is better, on the contrary, to often emphasize that you have it one and only, and you have also been looking for it all your life.

Do not challenge his decisions openly

And this is another mistake that women make, because they are unable to control their inner impulses. The point is that the man is the head of the family. But this chapter constantly does something wrong and makes elementary mistakes. We - women, are trying to direct our man on the true path and challenge his decisions, which, of course, drives a man into a real rage.

So why? But the fact is that, again, the idea that a man is the head of the family, that he is the main one, and his decisions are undeniable, underlies the male ego. And a woman, challenging the decisions of a man, undermines his male ego and his faith in himself, in principle. So does a woman really need to agree with her man in everything and make all his decisions? No, his decisions can be challenged, but this must be done not explicitly, but covertly so as not to harm his pride.

  • As they say, a man is the head of the family, and a woman is the neck that turns this head. So be smarter, because you can do it your own way and not hurt his ego.

How to do it? Let's say your man wants you to wear his favorite dress to a corporate party, but you perfectly understand that his choice is simply terrible, that in this dress you can only go to the garden to scare the crows. Well, do not criticize his opinion and say that the dress is terrible, but it has absolutely no taste, try to let him know that you will be better in another dress.

Thus, every woman needs to remember that in order to maintain a strong and healthy relationship, do not try to beat on the most sick and fragile - on male pride. Trying to prove something to a man, do not do it by destroying his male ego, as the man becomes angry and offended. After all, we - women, should be smarter and more resourceful, so be like that, caring for and cherishing the male ego.