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Wondering where. How to ask the right questions. Rules for asking questions

A few tricks that will help you answer the most tricky questions and feel great at the same time.

« And how much do you earn?», « Do you want to have a second child?», « When are you getting married?», « You are getting divorced, right?” – probably, each of us has been in an awkward situation when a curious interlocutor really wanted to get hold of information that you do not want to share, and then regret the direction this conversation took.

Here are some strategies that will help you answer the toughest questions and feel great at the same time. If you follow our advice, then you will not have to go into your pocket for a word in a real situation.

When answering unpleasant questions, you have every right not to give the interlocutor any specific information. Behave like a programmer from a joke, who answered the question of the lost Holmes and Watson traveling in a balloon, absolutely correctly, but at the same time there was no use from his words.

– Sir, can you tell us where we are?
“In a balloon basket, sir!”

Or give general, but also not very useful information.

– How much do you earn?
– Like everyone else, the average salary in the industry(significantly less than Abramovich).

2. Mirroring

“Return” to the interlocutor his question. This can be done using two simple methods.

1) Formulate the “request” in such a way that the person with whom you are talking becomes uncomfortable for your interest. Use a generic construction that starts with " I understand correctly that...”, and its ending will depend solely on whether you continue to communicate, whether you want to “build” your personal boundaries, etc.: “ Do I understand correctly that you would like to hold a candle in my bedroom?", or " Do I understand correctly that your main problem today is my personal life?", or " Do I understand correctly that interest in other people's troubles is in the order of things for you?". Well, if you say all this in a very polite, very calm, icy tone and do not gesture at the same time, except that you raise one eyebrow in surprise.

2) "Increase" interest in a given topic by addressing the interlocutor with a counter question from the same category:

– When are you going to give birth to the second one?
- Are you the third one?

3. "Theater of one actor"

Hearing some unpleasant question, you can always imagine yourself as a great dramatic actress, penetratingly look into the interlocutor’s eyes, take a deep breath, press your hands to your chest (if you wish, you can “break” your fingers), portray the abyss of despair and say in a tragic voice: “ I beg you! Never, you hear, never ask me about it!».

The second option - you portray a person giving a press conference (we will not name specific names, but we recommend paying attention to the persons of the first echelon of power) and say the phrase: “ Please next question!". The third version is for fans of the series "Univer". Remember karateka Eduard Kuzmin (aka Kuzya) and say: “ This is classified information!».

4. “I am not a bore, not a bore, not a bore!”

Instead of being offended, angry, or otherwise demonstrating that the interlocutor's question hurt you, start answering in an even, monotonous voice. The most important thing is the details. State the smallest details and start very far!

– When will you get married?
– Astrologers say that in order to conclude a happy marriage, it is necessary that the ascendants of lovers converge(do not ask us what the ascendants are and whether they should actually converge - any abstruse theory that your counterpart does not understand too well is suitable, even a "stargram", even a sharp turn in the life line, even the Nazdak index). And that's the moment when I realize that I met my soul mate and check if we are suitable for each other(I'll have to specify where and what time he was born), then I'll tell him: "Yes." And not a minute earlier.

5. Joking, it's annoying!

–My God, how much did you spend on this dress?
- I had to starve for two weeks, but what can not be done for the sake of fashion!

Universal Answers:

“I admire your ability to ask perplexing questions!” Or: " You are an amazing woman (an amazing man), you know what always amazed me about you? This is your ability to ask incorrect (difficult, rhetorical) questions!”

“I’ll be happy to answer your question, just tell me first, why are you so interested in this?”

"What are you interested in?"

"Do you really want to talk about it?". If you hear affirmative "Yes", boldly retort: ​​" But I do not want' and smile.

If you don't want to have any more dealings with a person who asks tactless questions, you can allow a few more. For example, remark in response: It's my doggy business.".

When I watch or listen to someone's interview, I am not more interested in the person who is being interviewed, but in the person who is conducting the conversation and asking questions. It seems to me that it depends on what questions are asked how interesting this interview will be.

I used to think that in the work of an interviewer there are many unattainable things for me, but with time and experience it became clear what the art of conducting a conversation and conducting an interview is.

Do you love asking questions?

We are all very accustomed to the fact that young children want to know everything and therefore ask a lot of different questions. At first we are touched by this, then we try to sincerely answer them, then a slight irritation sets in, sometimes restrained, sometimes not. Finally, we are happy to understand that this period of why and how has somehow ended imperceptibly for us, and sometimes we recall it with a slight sadness.

Perhaps for this reason too, many people believe that if they ask questions, they will be thought that they do not know anything. Previously, curiosity and curiosity were not respected and honored. Of course, I see that people's attitude to different things is changing now, and in many ways for the better. But practice shows that adults do not like to ask, afraid to seem ignorant of something. Although this myth can dispel the Internet - an inexhaustible source of answers to any questions.

It is possible that people do not ask questions for one simple reason: they do not know how to ask them, and do not know how to do it correctly. Here, many may object to me: well, what is so difficult about this, you don’t need to learn this. But I remember very well that training where we were taught to ask questions correctly, and after which I realized that I had not been able to ask questions before. Therefore, I often received as answers not at all what I wanted.

“What is the question is the answer” is the most valuable rule that should be spoken like a mantra when you want to ask something. And in order to know how to ask correctly, you need to know some of the features and rules that are inherent in the technique of asking questions.

In general, the ability to ask questions correctly is a quality that can be useful not only in the business sphere. How well you master the techniques depends on your entire communication as a whole. We observed such an interesting moment when this skill played a prominent role in relationships within the family and among friends.

First of all, let's understand what questions are. Since the use of different types of questions can lead to different results.

Questions are divided into several groups:

1. Open and closed. With these types of questions, everything is simple: for an open question, you can get a non-monosyllabic answer, and for a closed one, you can get a monosyllabic answer, yes or no. “Please tell us about how your company achieved such results in just one year?” is an open question, and it implies that the interlocutor will talk about the subject of the question in more than one sentence. It is important not to ask too open a question here, otherwise you will have to listen for a very long time.

“Are you satisfied with the service in our firm?” - such a question is considered closed, it is usually answered with “yes” or “no”. Despite their apparent inefficiency, closed questions can help close the deal, because we need to get three "yes" from the client, right?

2. Alternative questions. Such questions give the interlocutor a choice without much choice. “Do you prefer to have a meeting in the morning or in the afternoon?”, or “Darling, will you be red caviar or black?”. We kind of do not give time to think to the interlocutor that there are other possibilities, and he needs to choose only from these two options. And we get exactly the answer we need.

3. Question to question. There are situations in which the best way out is to answer an uncomfortable question with a question. For example, "How many times have you been married?" “Why are you interested in this?”

4. Paraphrasing. Often helpful in cases where you need to keep your attention, or when thinking about an answer takes more than a few seconds, it is recommended to rephrase the same question in a different way, while continuing to think about how to answer better. For example, a client: “Tell me, how much does your cheapest door cost?”. It is clear that if you answer in monosyllables, you will lose the client. Therefore, you can ask: "Do I understand you correctly that you select a door based on the price-quality ratio ... There can be any options, it is important to keep the client's attention and understand what exactly he needs.

5. Leading questions. Such questions can, with due skill on your part, set a different direction for the conversation. “I heard that this year you opened a branch network in several cities. Tell us how you did it?

6. Clarifying questions. A great example is to ask another person what they mean when they talk about it. Anecdote on the subject:

Where is you so, girl?
- What do you have in mind?
- Well, they don’t just bring it to the maxillofacial one!
- Are you crazy? I am a nurse!

If you understand that the question is not completely clear to you, and it can be answered in different ways, ask the interlocutor "What does he mean?". This technique works great in business negotiations and everyday life. Take a look and you can see how important this issue is in working with clients.

7. Rhetorical questions. Assume, again, to properly adjust the course of the conversation and at the right time to finish off the internal consent and disposition of the client. Such questions can be related to politics, news, weather, situation, recreation. You ask a question to nowhere, seemingly not specifically addressing anyone, but at the same time identifying those who think the same way. The answer to it, as it were, is obvious to everyone, and in fact, this question does not require an answer. There is a quote in the thread: "Not every question has an answer."

8. Inspiring questions. With the help of such questions, we intentionally influence the interlocutor and control the course of the conversation. “You intend ... You agree ... You are satisfied ...”

9. Extracting questions. Questions with which you can find out any problem, complexity, task, and focus on them.

10. Problematic issues can identify a problem that needs to be worked out and find out how important this is for the interlocutor.

So, I have listed far from all, but the most basic types of questions with which you can learn to conduct a conversation, dialogue, negotiations most effectively. It is no secret that it is the art of mastering the technique of asking questions that is primarily relevant for negotiations. Since it is the seller's ability to complete transactions that determines the profit of the company, and hence the monetary reward of the seller.

But you should always know and remember that in order to ask questions, you need to study well and know the subject that will be discussed. Of course, first of all, this applies to the business sphere of activity. “The more we own the information, the more we own the world” is a famous quote that 100% justifies all our efforts to conduct meetings and negotiations.

Questions are not easy to ask. It needs to be learned and it takes practice. To remake one's speech, to add "foreign" words to it, is possible only under the guidance of a mentor or coach. What I was repeatedly convinced by the example of my managers. Only after many trainings, when these phrases become yours, is it nice to see that your wards have finally mastered the technique and now know how to ask questions correctly. What is the key to success in negotiations. Who asks questions is the leader. You do not want to lose your initiative during negotiations, do you? Then learn ask the right questions.

A funny video about questions, I advise you to watch it. It is clear that the hero does not know about the rules and how to ask questions. But he wrote them down, which is also important - I advise you to pay attention.


If you want to find the necessary and useful information faster, go to and you can easily navigate my blog.

An important component communicative communication is ability to ask questions.

Questions are a way to get information and at the same time a way to switch the thoughts of the person with whom you are talking in the right direction (who asks questions controls the conversation).

By asking questions, we build a bridge into the unknown and the uncertain. And since uncertainty and uncertainty is a characteristic feature of the modern, rapidly changing world, the development of the ability to ask questions is very relevant.

“Sorry for the misunderstanding, I misunderstood you” is a phrase that can often be heard in a conversation between people. So, so that you do not have to pronounce it, learn how to ask questions correctly. The right question, allowing you to find out the intentions of the partner, helps to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. After all, sometimes, neglecting the opportunity to ask a question, or not asking it at the right time, we open the way to conjectures and conjectures, various speculative constructions, create the wrong impression of others, attributing to them non-existent qualities, advantages and disadvantages, which often leads to misunderstandings and conflicts. .

Whoever you are, a leader or an ordinary manager, a coach or a psychologist, in any sphere of life you will need the ability to ask questions correctly. In any conversation, whether business or personal, the right questions help:

  • Show interest in the personality of the partner and interlocutor;
  • Ensure “interpenetration”, that is, make your system of values ​​understandable to the interlocutor, while clarifying his system;
  • Get information, express doubts, show your own position, show trust, be interested in what has been said, show indulgence and show that you are ready to give the conversation the necessary time;
  • To intercept and keep the initiative in communication;
  • Transfer the conversation to another topic;
  • Move from the interlocutor's monologue to a dialogue with him.

To learn how to ask questions correctly, you need to pay attention to the correct construction of the internal dialogue and study the main types of questions in the external dialogue.

INTERNAL DIALOGUE(questions to oneself) organizes our own thinking and helps us formulate thoughts. The relevance and quality, the accuracy and the consistency of the questions that arise in our minds, to a large extent affect the effectiveness of most of the actions we take.

In order to organize an internal dialogue, one must understand that its purpose is to analyze any of the problems. A set of relevant questions will help to comprehensively analyze any problem (situation). There are two options for questions.

The first option is the seven classic questions:

What? Where? When? Who? How? Why? By what means?

These seven questions allow you to cover the entire problem situation and make its verbal-logical analysis.

The second option for analyzing the situation is a set of six questions:

  • Facts - What are the facts and events relevant to the situation in question?
  • Feelings - How do I generally feel about this situation? How are others supposed to feel?
  • Desires - What do I really want? What do others want?
  • Obstacles - What's stopping me? What hinders others?
  • Time - What and when to do?
  • Tools - What tools do I have to solve this problem? What resources do others have?

Use either of the two options when organizing an internal dialogue. When a problem arises, analyze the situation with the help of questions to yourself, bring your thoughts to clarity, and only then begin to act.

Importance and significance EXTERNAL DIALOGUE, consists in the right questions which is much better than a monotonous monologue. After all, the one who asks is the leader in the conversation. Also, with the help of questions, we show the interlocutor our interest in the conversation and in its deepening. By asking, we express to the person the desire to establish a good relationship with him. But all this happens when the conversation does not resemble and does not look like an interrogation.

Therefore, before starting a conversation or a business conversation, prepare a series of questions for the interlocutor, and ask them as soon as you move on to the business part of the conversation (in a normal conversation, as soon as you touch on the topic you need). So, you will provide yourself with a psychological advantage.

External dialogue questions can be posed in specific forms and can be of the following types:

Closed questions. The purpose of closed questions is to obtain an unequivocal answer (consent or refusal of the interlocutor), “yes” or “no”. Such questions are good only when it is necessary to clearly and clearly identify the presence of something in the present, past, and sometimes in the future (“Do you use this?”, “Did you use this?”, “Would you like to try?”), or attitude to something (“Did you like it?”, “Does it suit you?”), To understand how to proceed further. Closed questions (and yes or no answers to them) shift our efforts in a certain direction.

You should not immediately push a person by asking such questions to the final decision. Remember that it is easier to convince than to convince.

Another thing is when you deliberately ask a closed question, which is difficult to answer with a negative. For example, referring to generally recognized values ​​(Socrates often used a similar method): “Agree, life does not stand still?”, “Tell me, is quality and guarantees important to you?”. Why this is done: the more often a person agrees with us, the wider the zone of mutual understanding (this is one of ways to manipulate). And vice versa, if you can't pick up right question, and often hear "no" in response to leading questions, increases the likelihood of rejecting your offer as a whole. Therefore, achieve agreement in small things, do not start a conversation with contradictions, then it will be easier to achieve the desired result.

Open questions. They do not imply an unequivocal answer, they make a person think, they better reveal his attitude to your proposal. Open questions are a good way to get new, detailed information that is very difficult to get with closed questions. Therefore, in a conversation it is necessary to use open-ended questions more often, in their various variations.

Ask for facts that will help you understand the situation: “What is there?”, “How much?”, “How is it solved?”, “Who?” etc.

Find out the interests of your interlocutor and the conditions for their satisfaction.

Find out the attitude of your interlocutor to the situation under discussion: “What do you think about this?”, “How do you feel about this?”.

Offer in the form of questions, a different (your) solution to the problem: “Can we do this ..?”, “Why don’t we pay attention to such and such an option ..?”, while arguing your proposal. This is much better than openly saying: "I suggest ...", "Let's do it this way ...", "I think ...".

Be interested in what the statement of your interlocutor is based on: “What do you proceed from?”, “Why exactly?”, “What is the reason for this?”.

Clarify everything that is unclear to you: “What (how) exactly?”, “What exactly ..?”, “Because of what?”.

Find out the unaccounted for points, both personal and business: “What did we forget?”, “What issue did we not discuss?”, “What is missing?”,

If there are doubts, specify their reasons: “What is stopping you?”, “What worries you (does not suit you)?”, “What is the reason for the doubts?”, “Why is this unrealistic?”.

Characteristic features of open questions:

  • Activation of the interlocutor, such questions make him think about the answers and express them;
  • The partner, at his own discretion, chooses what information and arguments to present to us;
  • With an open question, we bring the interlocutor out of the state of restraint and isolation and eliminate possible barriers in communication;
  • The partner becomes a source of information, ideas and suggestions.

Since, when answering open questions, the interlocutor has the opportunity to avoid a specific answer, divert the conversation or share only information that is beneficial to him, it is recommended to ask basic and secondary, clarifying and leading questions.

Main questions- are planned in advance, can be both open and closed.

Secondary or follow-up questions- spontaneous or planned, they are set to clarify the answers to the main questions that have already been given.

Clarifying questions require short and concise answers. They are asked in case of doubt to clarify the nuances. People are almost always willing to delve into the details and nuances of their affairs, so there is no problem here. Unless we ourselves often neglect to ask clarifying questions, while our interlocutors only expect this from us in order to make sure that we understand everything correctly. Don't be shy and don't forget to ask clarifying questions!

Suggestive questions these are questions that make a certain answer obvious in terms of content, i.e. formulated in such a way as to tell the person what he should say. It is recommended to ask leading questions when you are dealing with timid and indecisive people, to summarize the conversation, or if the interlocutor started talking and you need to return the conversation to the right (business) track, or if you need to confirm the correctness of your judgment (belief in the profitability of your offer) .

Leading questions sound extremely intrusive. They almost force the interlocutor to recognize the correctness of your judgments and agree with you. Therefore, they must be used with extreme caution.

In order to know how to ask the right questions, one must have an idea of ​​the various types of these questions. The use of questions of all kinds in business and personal conversations allows you to achieve various goals. Let's look at the main types of questions:

Rhetorical questions are set in order to evoke the desired reaction in people (enlist support, focus attention, point out unresolved problems) and do not require a direct answer. Such questions also enhance the character and feelings in the speaker's sentence, making the text richer and more emotional. Example: “When, finally, will people learn to understand each other?”, “Is it possible to consider what happened as a normal phenomenon?”.

Rhetorical questions should be formulated in such a way that they sound short and concise, relevant and understandable. Approval and understanding here is - silence in response.

provocative questions are set in order to cause a storm of emotions in the interlocutor (opponent), so that a person, in a fit of passion, gives out hidden information, blurts out something superfluous. Provocative questions are pure water manipulative influence but it is sometimes necessary for the good of the cause. Just do not forget, before asking such a question, calculate all the risks associated with it. After all, by asking provocative questions you are somewhat challenging.

Confusing Questions transfer attention to the area of ​​​​interest of the questioner, which lies away from the main direction of the conversation. Such questions are asked either unintentionally (if you are interested in the topic of conversation, you should not ask about things that have nothing to do with it) or deliberately because of the desire to solve some of your own problems, to direct the conversation in the direction you need. If, to your confusing question, the interlocutor suggests that you not be distracted from the topic under discussion, do so, but at the same time note that you want to consider and discuss the topic you have stated at another time.

Also, confusing questions are asked to simply get away from the topic of conversation, either because it is not interesting (if you value communication with this person, you should not do this), or it is inconvenient.

relay questions- are aimed at being ahead of the curve and require the ability to grasp the partner's remarks on the fly and provoke him to further reveal his position. For example: “Do you mean by this what? ..”.

Questions to demonstrate your knowledge. Their goal is to show off their own erudition and competence in front of other participants in the conversation, to earn the respect of a partner. This is some form of self-affirmation. When asking such questions, one must be really, and not superficially competent. Because you yourself may be asked to give a detailed answer to your own question.

mirror question contains part of the statement uttered by the interlocutor. It is set so that a person sees his statement from the other side, this helps to optimize the dialogue, give it genuine meaning and openness. For example, for the phrase " Don't ever give me this again!", the question follows -" Not instruct you? Is there anyone else who could do this just as well?»

The question "Why?" used in this case would cause a defensive reaction, in the form of excuses, excuses and the search for imaginary reasons, and could even end in accusations and lead to conflict. The mirror question gives a much better result.

Alternative question Asked in the form of an open question, but contains several answers. For example: “Why did you choose the profession of an engineer: did you consciously follow in the footsteps of your parents or decided to enter the campaign, together with a friend, or maybe you yourself don’t know why?”. Alternative questions are asked to activate a taciturn interlocutor.

The question that fills the silence. good right question you can fill an awkward pause that sometimes occurs in a conversation.

soothing questions have a noticeable calming effect in difficult situations. You should be familiar with them if you have small children. If they are upset about something, you can distract and calm them down by asking a few questions. This technique works immediately, because you have to answer questions, thereby being distracted. In the same way, you can calm an adult.

Assumes compliance with the following rules:

Brevity is the soul of wit. The question should be short, clear and to the point. This increases the likelihood of a response. When you start complex, lengthy discussions, go far from the topic, you can generally forget what exactly you wanted to ask. And your interlocutor, while you state your question for five minutes, puzzles over what exactly you want to ask him. And it may happen that the question remains unheard or misunderstood. If you really want to go from afar, let the explanation (prehistory) sound first, and then a clear and short question.

So that the interlocutor, after your questions, does not have the feeling that he is under interrogation, soften them by intonation. The tone of your question should not show that you are demanding an answer (of course, if this is not a situation where you have no other choice), it should sound casual. Sometimes it will be right to ask the person you are talking to, ask permission - "Can I ask you a few questions to clarify?"

The ability to ask questions is inextricably linked with the ability to listen to the interlocutor. People are very responsive to those who listen to them carefully. And they will treat your question with the same degree of care. It is also important not only to show your culture and interest, but also not to miss information that may serve as a pretext for clarifying questions or for correcting what has already been prepared.

Most people, for various reasons, are not ready to answer direct questions (someone has difficulty in presenting, and someone is afraid to convey incorrect information, some do not know the subject well enough, others are limited by personal or corporate ethics, the reason may be restraint or shyness, etc. . P.). In order for a person to give you an answer no matter what, you need to interest him, explain to him that answering your questions is in his interests.

Do not ask a question that begins with the words: “How could you…?” or “Why don’t you…?”. right question this is a request for information, but not as a hidden charge. When the situation requires expressing dissatisfaction with the actions of a partner, it is better to firmly but tactfully tell him about it in an affirmative form, and not in the form of a question.

So, knowing how to ask the right questions, you can get the (professional) information you need from the interlocutor, understand and get to know him better, find out his position and motives for actions, make relations with him more sincere and trusting (friendly), activate further cooperation, as well as discover weaknesses and give him the opportunity to understand what he is mistaken about. It is understandable why psychologists often talk about art, and not about ability to ask questions.

wonder

Ask a question ASK, -amsya, -ashesya, -astsya, -adim, -adite, -adut; -alos, -alos, -alos and -alos; -aysya; - abated; owls.

Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949-1992 .


See what "Ask a Question" in other dictionaries:

    ASK, we will ask, we will ask, we will ask, we will ask, we will ask, we will lead. ask, please temp. asked, asked; presumptuous, comrade. (to wonder). 1. than. To do something, set a goal, a task. I set out to…… Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov

    ASK, ahsya, ashsya, asstya, adimsya, adites, adutsya, alas, alos and alos; aisya; awake; sovereign 1. than. Put in front of you what n. task, goal (colloquial). Z. purpose to learn languages. 2. (1st person and 2nd person not used). Get out, get out…… Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov

    wonder- an action question, an indirect object ...

    question- to question an action, an indirect object to ask a question an action, an indirect object to answer a question with an action, an indirect object ... Verbal compatibility of non-objective names

    Give, give, give, give, give, give; wonder; wondered, lass, elk; wondering; St. 1. than. Assign, set yourself to fulfill. Z. question. Z. purpose to learn languages. Z. desire to get into the national team. 2. only 3 l. Unfold… … encyclopedic Dictionary

    wonder- yes / msya, yes / sess, yes / stsya, give / msya, give / tes, give / tsya; ass/sya; asked / was, la / s, lo / s; given/set; St. see also ask 1) what. Assign, set yourself to fulfill. Task/t … Dictionary of many expressions

    - 'BEING AND TIME' ('Sein und Zeit', 1927) Heidegger's main work. The creation of B.i.V. is traditionally believed to have been influenced by two books: Brentano's The Meaning of Being According to Aristotle and Husserl's Logical Investigations. The first of them…… History of Philosophy: Encyclopedia

    - - a famous poet, statesman and public figure of the second half of the past and the first quarter of this century (b. July 3, 1743, d. July 8, 1816). His ancestor, Tatar Murza Bagrim, in the 15th century, during the reign of Vasily ... ... Big biographical encyclopedia

    In the period from August 14 to August 16, 2008, the leaders of the states involved in hostilities signed a plan for the peaceful settlement of the Georgian-South Ossetian conflict ("Medvedev Sarkozy's Plan"), which formally fixed the end ... Wikipedia

    Consequences of the war in South Ossetia (2008) In the period from August 14 to August 16, 2008, the leaders of the states involved in hostilities signed a plan for the peaceful settlement of the Georgian-South Ossetian conflict ("Medvedev's Plan ... ... Wikipedia

Books

  • , Knyazeva D.V.. Seeing the title of the book and its table of contents, many experienced gardeners may wonder: what are these hits? After all, such popular plants as peonies, phloxes, lilies and ...
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The quality of the answer depends not only on who we ask the question to, but also on how we ask it. By asking the wrong question, you are almost guaranteed to get the wrong answer. The right questions significantly increase the chances of, advice, useful information. Let's try to figure out what needs to be done for this.

5 Asker Mistakes

1. Ask a question that already has an answer

Very often the questioner has his own version of the answer, and he wants to check it. In this case, it is important that the question does not contain indications of the "correct" answer. Examples of such questions are: “Do we need to take on this order?”, “I think it will hold up, do you think so too?”, “Do you agree that it will work?” and so on. When the question is directed from the boss to the subordinate, the probability of getting the desired answer increases many times over. If you really want to know the opinion of the interlocutor, and not just decided to share with him, do not let us understand that you are only waiting for his approval.

2. Ask a closed question

Closed questions are those that have a limited number of answers. Usually two or three. The most famous example is Shakespeare's "to be or not to be". If you are not Shakespeare, you should not drive the respondent into the framework. It is possible that there are many more possibilities beyond. A simple example: your boss loads you with extra work. "Agree or refuse?" - you ask a friend, thereby missing the option "Agree, but for an increase in salary."

3. Pretend to understand the answer, although it is not.

Not all answers are equally clear. An obscure answer is useless. If you are not sure that you understood the interlocutor, you should not hide this fact. Often managers are afraid to ask for clarifications, as this supposedly demonstrates their incompetence. Meanwhile, former GE CEO Jack Welch argues in his book Winning that executives should be the ones who ask the most questions and their questions should be the best.

4. Put pressure on the responder

"What the hell are you doing with the project?" “Are you even going to work?”, “What the hell are you showing me?” - in all these cases, the questioner will receive only . If your goal is to get the employee to admit guilt, then you are doing everything right. If the goal is to understand the problem, then pressure on the respondent will only hurt. Business consultant Michael Marquardt writes that when defensive, people tend to see themselves as part of the problem rather than as a source of possible solutions.

wittaya2499/depositphotos.com

5. Ask a series of questions

This method is so good that it is used deliberately when they do not want to hear the answer. Just ask the interlocutor a lot of questions in a row, preferably interrupting him. And that's it. Him, and you will not receive an answer to any of the questions.

Asking the right questions eliminates the need to know all the answers.

Donald Peterson, Ford CEO (1985–1989)

5 good ideas for the right questions

1. Prepare

If you have a conversation where you will ask important questions, it makes sense to prepare in advance: determine the essence of the problem and the purpose of the conversation, sketch out a list of questions.

2. Formulate the question in one sentence

Business consultant Jeff Haden suggests using this technique to get rid of the "clues" in questions. Plus, short questions tend to be easier to understand. Trying to keep within one sentence, you yourself will better understand the essence of the problem.

3. Formulate several options for the question

In the process of preparation, it is advisable to choose several options for the same question. This will allow you to look at the problem from different angles. It can be useful to set the same one for different time intervals. For example, not “What can be done to increase sales?” But “What can be done to increase sales in the next month?”.


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4. Start questions with the word "why"

Such questions are aimed at identifying the cause. "Why" softens directive questions very well. For example, instead of “You still haven’t submitted the project. What's happening?" it is better to ask “Why can’t I deliver the project on time?”. There is even a special technique for identifying hidden causes -.

5. Ask clarifying questions

Among the important questions, there are few that require a short, clear and single answer. Much more often, we are faced with problems that have many solutions, and the consequences are difficult to assess. Several consecutive questions, each of which develops and refines the previous one, allow you to get deeper and more useful answers. If a question becomes an occasion for dialogue, discussion, discussion, this is a good question.

For most people, asking questions is as natural as walking or eating. They don't think about whether it's good or bad for them. But if it depends on the correct answer, it makes sense to work on the quality of the questions. Do you use any special techniques to ask good questions?