Orphans: what really happens in orphanages. Children in orphanages do not cry: no one will come anyway

/based on an article by Lyudmila Petranovskaya, a psychologist, author of the book "A foster child came to us"/

There are such philistine notions that children in an orphanage are lonely, sad and lack communication. And now, as soon as we start going there, we will arrange communication for the children, and their life will become more joyful. When people really start visiting the orphanage, they see that the problems in children are much deeper and sometimes even frightening. Someone stops walking, someone continues, trying to change the situation, someone understands that for him the only possible way out is to take at least one child out of this system.

In the regions, you can still find orphanages where children are not cared for, not treated, and so on. You will not find such an institution in Moscow. But if we look at children from orphanages that are financially prosperous, we will see that they differ from “home” children in terms of perception, reaction to situations, and so on.

It is clear that children's institutions can be different: an orphanage for 30 children, from where children go to a regular school, differs from the "monsters" for 300 people.

Children who ended up in orphanages have past traumas and difficult personal experiences. And with these injuries, they do not end up in rehabilitating, but, on the contrary, stressful conditions. Some of these stressful conditions are:

1. "Dictate of security"

A lot has changed lately, orphanages have become more equipped, but at the same time there is an offensive of “normalization”, the dictate of safety, “the power of the sanitary and epidemiological station”. “Harmful” are soft toys, flowers on the windows, and so on. But still, you want to live like a human being, and now the child has a teddy bear with which he sleeps, flowers begin to decorate the windows. Before the checks, all these forbidden things are hidden in some orphanages.

Children's opportunities to do something economically useful (again under the slogan of safety) have been greatly reduced. There are almost no workshops, household plots in orphanages, children are not allowed to participate in cooking, and so on. That is, there is a tendency to “wrap children with cotton wool” from all sides. It is clear that they will go into the “big life” completely unprepared for this life.

2. "Regular life"

Children in a children's institution are in a constant stressful situation. Now, if we, adults, are sent to a Soviet-style sanatorium, where there are 6 people in the ward, where at 7 o'clock in the morning there is a mandatory rise, at 7.30 - exercises, at 8 o'clock - a mandatory breakfast and say that this is not for 21 days, but forever - we'll go crazy. From any, even the best conditions, we want to get home, where we eat when we want, rest as we want.

And children are always in such stressful conditions. All life is subject to the regime. The child cannot adjust his day to his well-being, mood. Does he have bad thoughts? You should still go to a general entertainment event. He cannot lie down during the day, because most often they are not allowed into the bedroom.

He cannot “chew” something between meals, as children do at home, because in many institutions food cannot be taken out of the canteen. Hence - "psychological hunger" - when children even from the most prosperous orphanages with balanced meals five times a day, getting into the family, begin to eat continuously and greedily.

By the way, in some institutions they are trying to solve this problem in the following way: they dry crackers and allow children to take them with them from the dining room. A trifle? But it is important for a child to eat at the moment when he wants ...

3. The child cannot manage himself in this rigid routine. He feels that he is on a reservation, "behind the fence."

4. Lack of personal space and violation of personal boundaries.

Lack of doors in toilets and showers. Even teenagers have to change underwear, perform hygiene procedures in the presence of others. This is stress. But to live, constantly feeling it, it is impossible. And the child begins to turn off the senses. Children gradually learn not to feel shame, embarrassment.

Even if there are several bedrooms in the orphanage, it would never occur to anyone that they should enter by knocking.

The concept of personal boundaries in a child can only appear if he sees how these boundaries are respected. In the family, this happens gradually.

Now orphans in society pay a lot of attention. But more often than not, the help that people seek to provide to orphanages does not bring benefits, but, on the contrary, often corrupts. Outwardly, it turns out - gloss in orphanages, but inside - the same lack of personal space.

It makes no sense to buy carpets and televisions in an institution until there are toilets with cubicles.

5. Isolation of children from society

When they say that children from orphanages need to be introduced into society, they are more often talking about a unilateral order: to make sure that children go to a regular school, to regular circles, and so on. But not only children need to go out, it is important that the society also comes to them. So that they can invite classmates to visit, so that "home" children from neighboring houses can come to the circles that are in the orphanage, so that residents of these houses are invited to concerts that take place in the orphanage.

Yes, all this requires extra responsibility from employees. But here it is important to prioritize: for whom are you working - for the sake of children or bosses?

6. Inability to communicate with money

Many children in orphanages up to the age of 15-16 did not hold money in their hands and therefore do not know how to manage it. They do not understand how the budget of the orphanage works, it is not customary to discuss it with them. But in a family with older children, such issues are necessarily discussed.

7. Lack of freedom of choice and the concept of responsibility

In the family, the child learns all this gradually. First, he is offered a choice of milk or tea, then they ask which one to choose in a T-shirt. Then his parents give him money, and he can go and buy a T-shirt he likes. At the age of 16, he already calmly travels alone around the city, and sometimes even further.

From this point of view, a child in an orphanage is the same at the age of three and at the age of 16: the system is responsible for him. And at 3 years old, and at 16 years old, he equally has to go to bed at 21.00, cannot go to buy clothes for himself, and so on.

It is important for everyone who works with children in orphanages to understand what they mean: children are people who will then grow up and begin to live the lives of normal adults; or children are just a sphere of responsibility until the age of 18, and what happens after that is no longer important?

It is strange to expect that people who had 100% guarantees and 0% freedom before the age of 18 suddenly, at the age of 18, suddenly, as if by magic, learn what it means to be responsible for themselves and others, how to manage themselves, how make a choice… Without preparing a child for life and responsibility, we doom him to death. Or we hint that in the adult world there is only one place for him - a "zone" where there is no freedom and no responsibility.

8. Misconceptions about the outside world

Are we ourselves misleading children, making it so that every exit into the world is a holiday for them? When everyone is running around with them, they are busy with them. And I also show this world on TV, where it’s as if everyone you meet has bags of expensive brands, expensive cars and few worries ...

One day, psychologists conducted an experiment and asked children from orphanages to draw their own future. Almost everyone drew a big house in which they will live, a lot of servants who look after them. And the children themselves do nothing, but only travel.

Psychologists were surprised at first, but then they realized that this is how children live: in a big house, many people take care of them, but they themselves do not care about others, do not know where their livelihood comes from, and so on.

Therefore, if you take your child home for “guest mode”, it is important to try to involve him in your daily life, talk about it. It is more useful not to take a child to a cafe or to a circus, but to work. You can discuss family concerns with him: a loan, what the neighbors flooded, and so on. So that external life does not seem to him a continuous circus and McDonald's.

Lyudmila Petranovskaya also notes that it is important for volunteers to change their tactics in relations with the leadership of orphanages and from such applicants: “Can we help the children?” - become partners, communicate on an equal footing. It is necessary to talk with them not only about children, but also about themselves, about possible development options. And smart leaders will listen, because it is important for them to preserve the institution (jobs) against the background of the fact that orphanages in the form in which they exist now are doomed - maybe in 10 years, maybe in fifteen ... But you can save, only by reorganizing, not trying to cling to the old.

Today she is the most ordinary Annunciation student. At the age of 18, the girl studies in one of the technical schools of the city, communicates, and rests. But recently, her life has been different. Katya was brought up in an orphanage. And who knows how her fate would have turned if people had not appeared in the girl’s life, partly replacing her family - a patronage family.

Katya, how did you get into the orphanage?

My real parents drank heavily, so they were deprived of parental rights. I was taken from my family when I was nine years old. First me, and then my brother and sister. For a year I lived in a shelter, then I ended up in a sanatorium-type boarding school. And at the age of twelve she ended up in an orphanage.

The orphanage in which Katya ended up was in the Amur village. Children (then there were about 50 of them in the orphanage) went to a regular school, and spent the rest of the time at home. It cannot be said that the girl (then still just a girl) got into a particularly tragic situation. Alas, there are thousands of such stories in our country every year. Statistics are more eloquent than any words.

In 1990, there were 564 orphanages in Russia, in 2004 their number almost tripled and amounted to more than 1,400. In early 2007, the number of orphans reached a terrible figure of 748,000 people. This is almost 3% of the total number of children. Many of them were adopted, but still, the number of orphans is huge. The statistics are not the most recent, but in a couple of years the situation is unlikely to have changed radically for the better.

Katya does not particularly complain about life in the "state house". Sheer horror, as various masters of the pen sometimes like to dramatize, was not there.

Everything was fine. There were no special problems, no difficulties. The only thing, - says Katya. - The teachers did not understand us, we were strangers to them. Sometimes the kids ran away. But I can’t say that life in an orphanage is somehow very difficult.

The difference from family life is still great. What is the difference?

Life according to schedule. Everything is on time. Wake up, get ready - go to school. Then we come back and have lunch. Often you have to wait a long time after school for lunch, and you can’t have lunch before. We ate - we immediately sit down for lessons (without fail) and we can do them up to seven hours. And I wanted it to be like at home: to do everything when it is convenient for you, to live in your own mode.

What did you do after you learned your lessons?

Worked in circles. True, circles were not always conducted. You could do embroidery, macrame - who is fond of what. Of course, they watched TV in the evenings.

How did your relationship develop between you? Were you friends? Feuded?

It was different, like everywhere else. Probably, we could not be called very friendly. It so happened that they took up arms all against one. But in difficult times, we were always there for each other.

As it turned out from the conversation, there were enough difficult moments.

Often there were conflicts at school. And they quarreled and even fought with the villagers. For some reason, they thought that they were somehow better than us. We dressed well, were no different from them, but still treated us badly. If something happened at school, someone did something, we are immediately to blame. Something is broken - the orphanage is to blame.

In these mean words, Katya raised a very big problem. In our country, “orphanage” is a stigma that accompanies each pupil even for many years even after leaving the orphanage. But he is not to blame for anything, he had a misfortune in which he is a purely injured party. But the attitude towards him is almost like a prisoner.

Katya, were the teachers on your side in these situations? What kind of relationship did you have with them?

There was no particular relationship. They performed their duties, but we could be on our own all day long, doing our own business, and they were completely uninterested. The main thing is the observance of the regime. Sometimes you can’t do your homework, you approach them for help, and in response: you were at school, so you teach.

I understand that there were no such things as: heart to heart talk, complain about some personal problems between you too?

Of course it wasn't.

The girl herself did not focus on this, but a person who grew up in a family will immediately notice a big gap in her life. There is no parent who will protect from the attacks of strangers, whom you can open up and trust. Who will finally check the homework.

And yet our heroine's fate turned out to be happier. From the very first year she had a family. Patronage.

The patronage family is an alternative to the orphanage, which does not prepare the child for an independent life in the best way. Future adoptive parents enter into an employment agreement with the child care institution, according to which they assume the duties of the “head of the family-educational group”. They receive the status of educators - they are paid a salary, and their ward is allocated funds "for life". In addition, unlike adoption, the child retains all orphan benefits.

A patronage family is a chance to be educated at home, to learn how to live not on everything ready, but to wash and cook yourself. Make your own decisions in life, and not follow the inevitable regime. Patronage parents, of course, are not real and will not replace them, but they can instill in the child the spirit of the family. After all, it is a well-known fact that former orphans often cannot and do not want to raise their children. Because they do not understand what a family is. There is even a semi-serious term "congenital orphanhood." An orphanage cannot teach a girl to be a mother. This is taught only in the family.

Katya, where did your patronage parents come from?

These are my relatives. Uncle and his wife. When I was transferred to an orphanage, they were able to take me in almost immediately. During the first holidays, I already lived at their house. And then every vacation - while I was in school.

So, becoming foster parents is not very difficult?

I do not know exactly. My relatives seem to have succeeded easily. But in our group, I was the only one who was taken into the family. I know that other guys also had relatives who tried to become patronage parents, but they were not allowed.

Is there a big difference between life in an orphanage and in a family?

Yes. The family life was better. It was interesting. Quite a different environment. There I felt that I was not alone. It's nice to know that there are people who will come and pick you up. And you will be with them. Everyone in the orphanage wants this. We had guys that no one ever took away. And they so wanted it!

Have you had any problems with the rest of the guys because your family is taking you away, but they are not?

No, they never did. I had a good relationship with everyone, even with the elders. I was already in the second grade in a boarding school. Apparently, she learned to live in such conditions, got used to cope with her difficulties herself. So in the orphanage I knew how to live and get along with everyone.

For you, the orphanage was not some terrible place?

In principle, none of us considers it a terrible place. There just isn't enough family. Everyone wants to be taken. It happens that some good teacher will appear, and some children really want her to take them with her ...

I asked Katya for a long time about what the patronage family gave her. And she, thinking, spoke of the holidays:

The family had real holidays. Not like in an orphanage. There, before the New Year, we gathered in the assembly hall, carried out some kind of scenario, then we were quickly given gifts - that's all. Well, we received a package of sweets - we were not happy at all. And the family was always so warm and cozy. We were few and we were all together. A real holiday...

Listening to Katya, I remembered that patronage families have not only supporters, but also opponents. Many people are sure that it is cruel: to tear a child out of his gray orphanage environment for a while, show him all the delights of family life, and then return him to this dullness again. Frankly, I also thought that this point of view is correct.

Katya, it must have been hard to return to the orphanage after the holidays every time?

Why? – sincerely surprised girl. - Well, of course, I wanted family life to last longer, but there was no strong chagrin. I also wanted to go to school, I wanted to see friends and girlfriends, whom I had a lot in the orphanage. I will say more: none of the guys who were taken away by their relatives for the holidays made a tragedy out of returning to the orphanage.

And if it happened that you had no patronage parents at all, would your life be different now? Or would she not have changed much?

Of course, in this family I learned a lot. Helped a lot. I don't know how much my life would change. But I have always made my own decisions. And, I think, in the main my life has not changed much. Although this family still helps me in everything, I am very glad that I have it.

Indeed, Kate was lucky. But dozens, if not hundreds of children in Russia do not have such a family. However, every child standing at the window and looking after the lucky one, who is taken away on vacation by patronage parents, dreams of such a family.

Hello! My name is Evgenia, I live in Moscow, I am married and have two children. But on this day, my relatives will not be there, because on June 25 I left for Vologda, and from there on June 26 - to the Sokolsky orphanage for disabled children, which is located in the village of Sosnovaya Roshcha, about 40 km from Vologda. I brought materials for creativity to the creative circle of the orphanage, for which my LJ-friends chipped in, and my master class on creating jewelry. Under the cut 70 photos of my day on June 26, 2013.

On June 26, I woke up at the Spasskaya hotel in Vologda, had breakfast, and at 9:40 got into a taxi. Already at 11-00 o'clock I was at the gates of the orphanage - we got a little lost with the taxi driver. The girls met me and took me to their "apartments".

This is the official status of this orphanage.

After I unloaded my heavy suitcase with materials for creativity, I was invited to a holiday-competition, which was arranged for the children by Vera, the head of the cultural part in the orphanage, in the old way, an entertainer.

There were several assignments. One of them - girls draw boys, boys - girls.

Everyone tried very hard.

Everyone asked to take a picture of them and those drawings that they depicted on the pavement. And then they looked into the camera - to look at themselves).

Another competition - with dressing up. Groups of boys and girls were supposed to form three pairs - in each - a boy and a girl in costumes. If someone didn't manage to change clothes quickly on their own, they were helped by the staff and more "safe" pupils. But everyone tried, well done!

Only pupils with serious disabilities participate in such events, the “safe” ones are not interested, they usually just watch. Perhaps it is time for an explanation here. 250 pupils live in this house. Of these, 38 are recumbent. These are very serious cases that need medical attention, and we have it in the house. The rest are walking, but with serious health disorders and "safe" people - those who ended up in this house in their deep childhood for various reasons, more often - as refuseniks. The age of pupils is from 5 to 45 years. It doesn't look like an orphanage at all. Now the reorganization is taking place - the kids are being taken away to other orphanages. Sokolsky will become a home only for adults.

Yeah, here are a couple of winners among boys - they dressed up as a young lady and a gentleman the fastest)).

Another competition - they played a train. All pupils took part with great desire.

And here are the prizes - balloons. Inflated by the whole world. Someone did not succeed - both the staff and other guys helped. By the way, Vera later told me that the balloons are also the help of philanthropists and you can’t squander them too much. And how to please children, I'm interested? These little things also need money - to buy these balloons and send them to an orphanage.

The teaching team that hosted me. From left to right - Tatyana Kozlova, teacher of labor, pupil - I forgot the name, I'll clarify)), Vera - the same "cult-mass sector")) and Natalya - also a teacher of labor. People are crazy, in the good sense of the word, giving themselves to work 100%.

Rehearsal space.

With a huge full-length mirror.

There is also a dressing room. These are all the possessions of the Faith.

There are several workshops in the orphanage. This is a shoe store. Now apprentices work here. But I was told a story that one of the pupils of the orphanage received "capacity" and opened his own shoe repair shop in a neighboring town. He does not abandon his own, he helps them learn this craft. The story was told breathlessly, like something out of the ordinary.

We worked - you can relax with songs to the accordion)).

Muscovites, remember when you took your shoes for repair and how much they charged you. You can compare with the prices that pupils-shoemakers charge for their work. Communism!

This is the auditorium. It is currently being refurbished.

Gym. The chairs were dragged from the assembly for the duration of the repair.

This is a bed room. Three chambers. They asked not to take pictures, but I confirm that there are no horrors, the children all sleep on beds with mattresses and linen, they have nannies and medical staff with them. And they take them for a walk to the nearby square, however, that day I did not see the “heavy” children walking around. But there is a ramp for wheelchairs, which means, I hope, they are still in the fresh air.

Here it must be said that in the orphanage "safe" pupils live in rooms like a hostel. And they showed me all their farms. But for some reason I forgot to ask for it in the rooms of children with severe disabilities, but walking. I hope next time to correct this misunderstanding. This is the boys' bathroom, although they are no longer boys by age, but men).

One of the men's rooms.

masculine order).

Class for classes.

On the wall - anti-smoking propaganda. I think it's right).

The students made their own posters. In the orphanage, many pupils smoke. Propaganda, alas, does not take them. Do not quit smoking.

Here foam rubber is cut for stuffing toys and pillows. Pupils love to do this and, according to their instructor, they even stand in line).

Turtle pillow. How are you?

Plush cat.

And this is a sewing workshop, they sew covers for pillows and toys). Well, the workers of the orphanage are asked to sew clothes for themselves. If, for example, trousers turned out to be long, then they will be shortened here.

And this is a loom.

Wonderful "rugs" are obtained on a loom.

The kitchen, in my opinion, is girlish.

Well, we got to my master class (time - 14-20). Polina is sitting next to me (in a yellow T-shirt). She is 28 years old. She ended up in an orphanage when she was little, her mother refused her (at that time her mother was a high-ranking "bump"). Polina's intelligence and health are absolutely intact. But due to the fact that she is in an orphanage with the status of "mentally retarded", she needs several commissions to prove her capacity. She already tried once - and was rejected. I sincerely wish her to make another attempt and win!

Something very actively explain.

And there was something funny.

And what attentive listeners!

Here someone did not waste time - he made his own bracelet).

I show you how to tap the wire.

very attentive). In the center are two twin sisters - Vera and Nadya. They are 27 years old. The story is similar to Polina. Only when they were small, the mother died, and the father and grandmother did not want to deal with them and handed over to the orphanage. The family was dysfunctional - parents drank ... In general, I must say that all the girls are great, they can and can do a lot of things. By the way, one of the sisters, the one in the black and white dress, seems to be Nadya (pardon me, I haven’t learned to distinguish between girls yet - but I’ll fix it)), she does beautiful hairstyles, she knows how to do a beautiful manicure and even pedicure. The staff of the orphanage runs to her for services. And she takes mere pennies - a manicure for 50 rubles, how do you like it? All the girls are excellent cooks, they treated me to different sweets there. Polina baked mannik - overeating).

In the girls' rooms, there are solid "prohibitions" - pets. But even here the leadership closes its eyes, and when the SES arrives, the cells are hidden out of sight. This gorgeous parrot lives with Polina and her neighbors. She bought it herself, boasted that the parrot was not cheap - it cost 3,500 rubles.

And there is a guinea pig. In total, I counted three of them in the girls' rooms.

And a cat.

Apparently, believers live here.

In the other room is an aquarium.

Clean and tidy.

Some of the girls embroider at their leisure. There will be a pillow.

This is how they decorated the wall in their room).

And this is already a tea party (time - 16-10). He was preceded by a chic dinner, all entirely from homemade dishes.

Then we went for a walk around the area. There are flowers everywhere - the pupils themselves make flower beds and take care of the plants. Flowerbeds are broken up to your taste - some are "sun", some are "circle", etc.

The general plan of the house from the side of the playground.

The site itself.

And these are vegetable gardens. Everything is done by pupils. This is where potatoes grow.

There is a pond. Only boys swim. The girls abandoned this activity, as one of the guys drowned a cat there.

And these are beds assigned to groups of pupils.

There is a pigsty. It was closed, however, so I took a picture through the bars. There used to be more pigs. Now they have left a few to teach pupils the business of pig breeding.

The local security is right there.

Cowshed. There are also few cows left. And also for learning.

But they give milk and calves.

And there is a horse. The girls said that they rode it, bareback - it’s more convenient).

Protection of private gardens.

Two brothers planted their garden.

With a greenhouse

And with a gazebo.

Evening watering the beds.

And this building of a separate hostel was built just for the "safe" pupils. Both Polina and other girls should move in there. But there is no money for furniture, so this house is empty.

Shared dining room.

And here - behind the fence, the same platform where the recumbent "walk".

Goodbye!

I left at about 7:30 pm. My day ended the same way it began - in a hotel in Vologda. And my impressions from this trip are not unambiguous. For the first time in my life, I realized that there was almost nothing I could do to help these people on a large scale. And my help in the little ones is like a drop in the ocean. But I will continue to help further - as much as I can, because these people live locked up, they have practically never been anywhere, for them the arrivals of people like me are like a light in the window. Tatyana told me that they, discussing our day, said about me: "she is kind." And this is the highest praise in the mouths of the orphanage, their people are divided into good and evil. Thank you girls, we'll definitely see you again!

I don't know anything about American adopters. But I know something about the Swedish ones, but in the context of "selling our own children abroad" this is basically the same thing. So, I was lucky for several years to work as a translator for the Swedes who came here to adopt children. And not a single type of activity, either before or after, has brought me such satisfaction and a sense of the need and importance of what I am doing. More than ten years have passed, and I still remember almost all the couples with whom I had a chance to work. And I remember everyone with warmth and gratitude.

Vanechka

Most of all, of course, I remember the first ones - Christina and Johan, tall, beautiful people, both about forty. They brought a bunch of diapers, toys and sweets for the staff as a gift to the baby house. I led them along the flaky, old-smelling corridors of the Serpukhov orphanage, and from shame I pressed my head into my shoulders. It was my first time in an orphanage.

We were escorted into a large room lined with cribs. In them lay babies in gray romper suits. An older kid was sitting on the floor, on the potty, and indifferently looked at us from the bottom up. Opposite the child, on a high chair in approximately the same position as him, sat a nanny and bored the baby with a gloomy, determined look. It was clear that if her expectations were not met, the child would not leave the pot. Despite the large number of children, the room was dead silent. It seemed that neither the nanny nor the children simply had the strength to make sounds. Later I was told that children in orphanages practically do not cry - why? still no one comes.

We approached one of the many beds. "And here is Vanechka!" In the crib lay a tiny baby with not just a pale, but a completely blue face of a child who had never been in the open air. He looked to be about four months old. Christina took the child in her arms. Vanya did not hold his head well, looked indifferently and did not express any interest in what was happening at all. If not for his open eyes, he could well have been mistaken for a dead man. The nurse read out the medical record: "bronchitis, pneumonia, a course of antibiotics, another course of antibiotics... His mother has syphilis..." It turned out that Vanechka was EIGHT months old! "Not a tenant ..." - I thought. Christina bent over the child and did her best to hide her tear-stained eyes behind the crown of his head. She was shocked by everything she saw, but she was afraid to offend us, citizens of a great power, with her tears.

According to the protocol, the child was to be taken to a photo studio and photographed - in an upright position with his head up and his eyes fixed on the camera. The task seemed impossible. I remember jumping up and down behind the photographer's back and snapping my fingers, desperately trying to arouse the kid's interest in what was happening, even for a moment. Everything was useless - Vanechka, in Christina's arms, lowered his head to her shoulder, and his eyes still looked indifferently to the side. Luckily, the photographer caught understanding. I don’t remember what he came up with, but as a result of long torment, the photo was nevertheless taken: the head is on its side, but at least the eyes look into the lens. And thanks for that.

I was terribly sorry for Kristina and Johan, sorry for their hopes, time, effort, money. "Olga, a hopeless child. Don't they understand?" - I reported the same day to the head of the adoption center. No, they didn't understand. Having ticked and signed all the necessary documents, they came back a month later - now to take Vanya with them. He was already more than nine months old, but he still looked the same - pale, lethargic, small, motionless, silent. Crazy, I thought again. And on the way to the airport, Christina called Olga: "Vanya is singing! Listen!" There was a soft meow on the phone. Vanechka roamed, for the first time in his life.

A year later, they sent photos from Vanya's birthday. It was absolutely impossible to recognize in a toddler, confidently standing on plump legs, the former goner. In a year he caught up with his peers and did not differ from them in any way (at least outwardly).

This is not a story with a happy ending. I don't know how Vanina's future fate has developed and will develop, and what irreversible consequences will lead to the first 9 months of his life spent in the orphanage. And yet ... he owes his life not to his homeland, but to a childless couple from Sweden, who did not disdain a child with a developmental delay, the son of a syphilitic prostitute. And these Swedes who "bought our child" will never call him their property. By the way, they were going to, when Vanya grows up, by all means bring him to Russia - the child, in their opinion, should know where he comes from.

Tanyukha

Anna and Yoran brought with them three-year-old Viktor, who was adopted a year and a half ago. “Viktor, why did we come to Russia?” Anna asked, introducing him to me. - "To meet my sister!" Swedish speech in the mouth of this kid with a Nizhny Novgorod-Vologda appearance sounded somehow unnatural. I could not get used to the fact that he does not remember his native language at all, I even tried to somehow speak Russian with him. He looked at me in amazement.

Our path lay in Vologda, it was there that "sister" Tanya lived. Arriving at our destination early in the morning, we first went to the hotel. After a night on the train, everyone felt overwhelmed, especially Victor. I wanted to take a break before going to the baby house. Moreover, there was another night journey ahead - back to Moscow. We had eight hours at our disposal. Yes, no more is needed. Meet the girl, have a bite to eat, put Victor to sleep during the day - and that's it, you can go back.

The first surprise awaited us at the hotel. “Have you registered your foreigners with the police?” - the young lady at the reception took me by surprise. “Listen, we are here for less than a day, leaving in the evening. The room is needed only so that the child can rest, ”I tried to object. "I know nothing. We have to register foreign guests. Otherwise, I will not settle, I have no right.

Leaving our suitcases in the lobby, we rushed to the police station. Running around the streets of a foreign city in search of a taxi, then along the corridors of a police station, then in search of a cafe to feed a starving child, then again a skirmish with a young lady at the reception, who didn’t like something in foreign passports ... After three hours of hassle we finally threw our suitcases into the room and, completely exhausted, went to meet our "sis".

We were received no more kindly at the little house than at the hotel. “Tell your Swedes that we consider Russian adoptive parents out of turn. If a Russian couple appears in the near future, she will get a girl, ”an important lady in a white coat grunted to me gloomily. “Why are you only talking about this now? - I was indignant. If we had warned you earlier, we would not have gone to you. You have a home full of orphans, why arrange an unhealthy hype around one girl? Offer the other couple another child." - “Okay, let them go to get acquainted, since they have already arrived,” the lady in the dressing gown condescended. It seemed to me that I convinced her and now everything will be fine.

The Vologda baby house was the exact opposite of the Serpukhov one. Cozy clean building, bright rooms with fresh renovation. Children are well-groomed, strong. The day was summer and sunny. A line of toddlers with buckets and shovels walked past us for a walk. Many were barefoot! “Tempering,” said the nurse. - So that they get sick less in winter.

One and a half year old Tanyusha turned out to be a black-eyed beauty, blood and milk. When we entered the room, she was sitting at the table, spoon-feeding the doll. I didn’t even have time to blink, when Yoran was already standing in front of Tanya on all fours, and she, with a royal look, poked a doll spoon into his mouth and laughed. “Emotional contact has been established,” I recalled the wording from the protocol that was filled out every time the adoptive parents met the child. “He dreamed of a daughter for a long time,” Anna whispered. She herself, standing with Victor in her arms, listened to the nurse, who read out the history of development to us. Tanyukha was practically healthy. Her chart did not list a single course of antibiotics, not a single bronchitis, and nothing serious at all - the case for the baby's home is simply exceptional.

Yoran Tanyukhin's medical record was completely uninteresting. After eating with the doll, he sat the girl on his knees, and together they began to draw. Then - play hide and seek. I don’t know how long this could have gone on, but Victor, exhausted by the ordeals of the day, raised such a roar that we had to urgently leave the premises. “Please do not offer Tanyusha to other adoptive parents,” I asked the lady in a white coat to say goodbye.
In the car, Victor calmed down a little and again remembered the purpose of his visit.
- “Daddy, where is your sister?”
- "My little sister stayed in the orphanage." Yoran's eyes burned, he looked ten years younger.
"Why didn't she come with us?"
- “Be patient. We'll take it with us next time."
- "Soon?"
- “Yes, baby, soon. Now very soon."

The next day they flew home, and a month later I found out that the guardianship authorities had refused Anna and Yoran to adopt Tanya. There was a Russian couple who wished to accept her into their family. An amazing coincidence: I haven't been there for a year and a half, and then all of a sudden - once, I was found. I don't know how to explain it. Either by chance, or by the patriotism of the Vologda officials, or by a thirst to show foreigners the fig in their pocket. The latter, in any case, they succeeded in glory.