Future mother 

How to tell a man if his behavior upsets you

Do you think that the same boy from the class or the guy from the neighboring yard is the best in the world? In your own fantasies, you are already together, walking in the park, visiting cinemas and just sitting side by side, holding hands.

However, in reality, he is in no hurry to talk about love or sympathy and does not call for dates. And at one fine moment you decide to confess warm feelings, but you have absolutely no idea how to tell the guy that I like him. To tell honestly in a personal meeting or write a message on a social network? Consider all options.

Pressure and activity are, of course, wonderful, but before a “frank” confession, you need to make sure that you are at least not disgusting to the young man. Well, if you study together (at school or university) or "cool" in the same company, it will be easier to figure out his feelings. What to do specifically?

  1. Ask your friends (those you trust) to find out if he likes you or not. Probably, in a conversation with someone, he already made such hints. The exact certainty that he is not indifferent to you will untie your hands.
  2. Observe the behavior of the young man. Usually guys voluntarily or involuntarily show that they like this or that girl. Perhaps he sits next to you at recess, goes to the same events, or spends time with your company often.
  3. Notice if he looks at you when he thinks you don't notice. If so, then that's a good sign. Try next time to catch his gaze and not look away. If a guy maintains eye contact, he definitely likes you. If he turns away, he is probably just too modest.

However, do not overdo it in your "investigation". No need to constantly look at him to catch a look or ask friends about him. Such behavior may seem strange to him, he will either laugh at you, or begin to avoid meetings.

So, it seems to you that he is in love with you, or at least he likes you. If you are embarrassed to be the first to start a conversation about sympathy, try to get closer and make sure that the initiative comes from him. By the way, according to statistics, only 7% of girls do not hesitate to be the first to confess their feelings.

Do not tell a young man or boy that you like him if you practically do not communicate. Such confessions look too unexpected, which can scare a person away. In the future, it will be extremely difficult for you to restore normal relations.

What to do? How to let a boy or guy know that you care about him and encourage him to make a confession first? Psychologists suggest the following steps.

  1. Give him compliments, of course, it should not be rude flattery, but a slightly embellished truth. Everyone likes to hear warm words addressed to them, and your chosen one is no exception. You will flatter him, which will serve as a great start to a casual conversation. For instance:
    • “I saw how great you play basketball. You were especially good at the three-point shot. How long have you been playing sports?
    • “I found out that you won the Programming Olympiad. Have you been fond of computers and programs for a long time?
    • "Cool hairstyle! Where did you get your hair cut?"
  2. Discuss a common hobby (if any) or his passion. Ask why he chose cycling, skateboarding or programming. Don't be afraid to seem ignorant, just honestly warn that you like his job, but so far you know too little about him. Perhaps the guy himself will offer to teach you something or invite you to ride a bike together.
  3. Flirt a little with him to make him bolder. Probably, your chosen one already knows about the main signs of female sex games, so you can show your interest. Just do everything unobtrusively and not too unceremoniously, for example:
    • try winding a curl around your finger or pencil during a conversation;
    • do not cross your arms or legs when talking to him;
    • smile when you meet eyes;
    • inadvertently touch it (push it as a joke), lean on it when you get up.
  4. Invite him to some event. Do not say directly that this is a date, just explain that you wanted to go to a new movie with your girlfriend (you need to inform her first), but she “got sick”. Being nearby in a dark cinema hall will inspire him to confess his sympathy to you sooner.

Let's say the guy turned out to be not the most ingenious, but you still weren't upset and decided to confess your feelings yourself. And there is nothing wrong with such an initiative, because while you are waiting for confessions, a more determined girl may meet a young man. Let's figure out how to tell a guy that you like him.

  1. Choose the right moment to confess. Both you and the young man must be in a good mood, otherwise he will refuse to listen to you, and you will get angry and speak out of the case. Also make sure that none of you are in a hurry. Perhaps a long and detailed conversation is ahead.
  2. Recognition is best done in private, without strangers. Of course, having your best friend around will give you confidence and courage, but the young man may think that you are kidding. In the presence of his friends, the guy can get confused and generally refuse.
  3. Prepare a “solemn speech” in advance, for example, in front of a mirror. You can also practice pronouncing words with different intonations. Choose the one that seems the most convincing. Also, be prepared for an unpleasant outcome of the conversation - there is a chance (hopefully small) that he will not return your feelings.
  4. Do not speak directly, first choose a neutral topic. For example, ask how the programming Olympiad went or what he will do on the weekend. Such a beginning is necessary in order to create a bridge to the main thing - your recognition. Questions might be:
    • - What are you going to do on Saturday?
    • - Do not know yet. And what?
    • - Katya invited me to a birthday party, said that you can come with a guy. I want to call you because I like you.
    • - How did the Programming Olympiad end?
    • - So-so. Became only the fourth.
    • - No need to worry. Still, I really like you.
  5. In order for a young person to take what is said seriously, speak clearly and clearly. If he is confused, say your confession again, demonstrating the seriousness of your intentions. So your auto-training in front of the mirror will not be in vain.
  6. If he is in no hurry to give at least some reaction, gently push him to the answer: "It was difficult for me to confess my sympathy to you, because I'm not sure if you like me or not." This will certainly encourage him to take a decisive step - a positive or negative answer. If a guy asks for time to sort out his feelings, don't rush him. Agree to return to this conversation in a couple of days.
  7. If the young man says that he doesn’t care about you or that he likes another girl, you don’t need to cry, make scenes or beg to give consent. You are a very brave girl, so you leave proudly, saying that you hope to remain friends with him.

If you are shy and can not decide on a personal confession, you can take advantage of social networks or popular instant messengers. The tactics of your behavior will depend on whether you are familiar with the young man or just noticed and decided to write.

If you like a stranger, just go to his page, find out if he is in a relationship (usually young people indicate such information), leave “likes” or comments on photos. Thus, you will arouse interest in your person.

Then act according to the situation: if he sends an application to friends, agree, if this did not happen, offer to be friends yourself. Then start to find those points of contact that unite you. Probably, after a few days of communication, he can invite you on a date.

If you know a young man and are his friends on VKontakte, just write a personal message and act in the same way as in a personal meeting (according to the rules described above). However, this method has significant drawbacks.

The main disadvantage of such communication is the inability to see the emotions of a person and the eyes of the interlocutor. It is better to gather courage and talk about feelings in person than to talk about sympathy via the Internet.

What mistakes should be avoided?

It is not easy to be the first to admit sympathy, so you need to try not to get into an unpleasant situation. The following warnings will help you avoid possible errors:

  • do not impose your society, trying to always be close to the young man;
  • do not play someone else's role - if you are already modest, do not appear before him as such a bitch, and, on the contrary, an active girl does not need to hide under the mask of a quiet person;
  • if you fell in love with your friend, first make sure that he likes you as a girl, otherwise a careless confession can destroy friendship;
  • do not overwhelm the young man with messages on social networks, as he will begin to consider you a stupid and narrow-minded girl (or easily accessible), wait for his answer, and only then continue to communicate on the network;
  • do not show your feelings in the presence of his friends, as there is a possibility of his discontent or rudeness - this is how he wants to show himself as a man;
  • do not dismiss your friends who say something bad about your chosen one, as negative information may turn out to be true;
  • be mentally prepared for rejection, even if before it seemed to you that your feelings are mutual (there can be many reasons for this).

Keep silent about your feelings or take the first step? Of course, it's up to you to decide, but confessing to a young man in sympathy is not as difficult as it seems to many girls.

It is much more unpleasant to be next to a guy, disturbing your heart with constant doubts, hopes and disappointments.

Remember that your feelings are completely natural and sincere, and hiding them from a guy, you risk giving up the happy days and months of your life.

Perhaps then you will regret your indecision ... The main advice is as follows - listen to your own heart and act if it has made a decision!

Hello, I'm Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully studied at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and advising parents on the upbringing of children. I apply the experience gained, among other things, in the creation of psychological articles. Of course, by no means do I pretend to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers deal with any difficulties.

Hello my dear girls! Recently, a client approached me with a question - how to explain to a guy that I need him? It is not always easy to find the right and appropriate words. It all depends on the situation and where you are in. Today I propose to analyze some situations in which girls usually do not know how to behave.

Problem - Solution

Every problem has a way out. But before you understand what to say to a guy, you need to find out why you need this conversation and what result you want to achieve. Why are you going to explain to a guy that you can't live without him?

You had a fight and now you need to make amends? Or maybe you want your ex back? Different situations require a different approach. So let's try to consider each option separately.

Lack of care

Sometimes such a conversation is brewing due to lack of attention. The guy spends a lot of time at work or with friends and you feel useless, as if you were abandoned and forgotten.

First, don't start sounding the alarm right away. Maybe now your young man is having a difficult period at work and the boss has filled up with urgent matters up to his ears. For starters, you just need to calmly ask if everything is in order. See if you can help him in any way.

Second - think about what you will do together. Simply demanding attention is ineffective. What do you like to do together? Arrange a massage day. Go to the theater or cinema. Stroll through the night city. Instead of empty claims and complaints - act. Get his attention.

Do not expect that he will suddenly, for no reason, surround you with affection and care. Start to show these qualities yourself and they will return to you like a boomerang.

Conversation with an ex

After a breakup, many girls feel overwhelmed, lonely and unsure of themselves for a new relationship. I have witnessed a million times a girl trying to get her ex back. If this is your case, then I suggest that you start by simply thinking about what caused your union to fall apart. Maybe the decision to leave was the right one?

Most often, returning to past relationships does not lead to anything good. People continue to reproach each other, blame and swear. Past grievances are not forgotten, but become more vivid.

Don't be afraid of loneliness. Read the article "". Take advantage of this time and devote it to yourself. The desire to return the former looks very much like trying to grab the last chance. Believe me, this guy was far from your last chance!

His intentions

You want a serious relationship, and the guy is obviously not going to go to the registry office or have children for a long time. It is important to remember the rule of calm here. Do not raise your voice during a conversation, try to listen more, try to understand your partner.

Remember, in a relationship, not only your desires are important, but also the desires of a man. If you have already decided for yourself that you need to get married next year, and the guy is not ready, then look for another man who will agree with your plan. Don't force a young man to do what he doesn't want to do. Nothing good will come of this.

After a fight

You messed up and made some kind of mistake and now the guy does not talk to you and is offended? First you need to persuade him to come to the meeting. In this matter, the article "" will be very useful to you. Because asking for forgiveness in SMS is at least disrespectful to your missus. Have the courage to look into your eyes.

What are the words to explain to the guy that you need him? Try to explain why you did what you did. Don't blame him, saying it's because of your eternal absence that I went to the club and flirted with other guys.

After a quarrel, it is very important not only to ask for forgiveness and try to make amends with words, but to show by actions that you feel that you love him and that it is extremely important for you to make peace and not quarrel anymore.

Declaration of love

What to say to a young person with whom you just communicate or are friends, but you have long wanted to move on to closer contact? I have always been for honesty, directness and openness. Moreover, men are rather bad at understanding hints. For them, the more direct and accessible the phrases, the better.

Therefore, you can simply invite a guy to a cafe, cinema, for a walk. Say that you would like to get to know him better, that you enjoy spending time with him. Be cheerful and smiling, then you will definitely attract his attention.

I bring to your attention the article "". In it you will find a huge amount of useful and important information that every girl should know.

Make your decision based on the situation. And always remember - you won't be forced to be nice! Love and appreciate yourself. Don't let the relationship take over you completely.
If you have not found an example of your situation, write to me and together we will decide what to do in your case.

Have a nice day!

Ideally, relations between a man and a woman are formed on the initiative of the strong half. But sometimes women simply do not have the patience to wait for the cherished "I love you" or "Marry me."

In this case, the temptation is great to take everything into your own hands and begin to actively accelerate events. More often than not, this behavior leads to failure. Therefore, you should definitely think about how to explain to a man that I want to be with him, but at the same time not scare him away with your perseverance.

Play the Snow Queen

If your relationship has already existed for more than six months, you feel good together, but the guy still does not want to take a decisive step, you can speed up the approach of the proposal by becoming cold to him for a while. Disappear from his life, "left on a business trip" or "ill". You can also show that while you are a free girl, you remain the object of increased interest from other guys. You don't have to go on dates with them, but you can demand that he not be jealous if young people call you or invite you for a cup of coffee. This may spur him to legitimize your relationship so that only he can manage such a treasure. And the thought: “I want to be with a man” will cease to torment you.

You won't be forced to be nice

If you know that a man is categorically against a serious relationship, at least at this stage, it is useless to try to convey to him that you want to be with him. After all, over time, even if you start dating or getting married, he will feel relative freedom from you, believing that he didn’t drag you on the lasso, which means he didn’t force you to marry such a womanizer like him.

If a man is ready to connect his life with his beloved woman, you don’t have to come up with any pretexts to drag him to the wedding palace. But excessive pressure on your part can deprive him of the pleasure of courting you, he will lose hunting interest, or maybe even run away. Therefore, forget all your attempts to directly confess your love to him, and act gradually, presenting everything in such a way that he conquers you, and not vice versa. As for sex, you shouldn't have it until he gets married.

Everything has its time

Agree that it’s stupid after a week of dating to announce that you can’t live without him. It takes quite a long period to understand how you feel about each other. For some it takes months, for others it takes years. Every couple has their own relationship dynamics. Why run ahead of the horse? Enjoy the candy-bouquet period, then all this romance can evaporate.

Flirt with the man you like

If you are still not together - he does not notice you or treats you like a friend, it's time to turn on the female charm and tricks. Find an excuse to have lunch with him, and he should offer it to you. Conduct reconnaissance in combat. Say that you want to dine at a cafe, but don't know where is better. If a guy is ready to communicate, he will gladly grab the opportunity to drink coffee in the company of such a pretty girl. And then it's a matter of technology.

It often happens that a guy tries to make a girl fall in love with him, but the girl is not at all interested in him and she wants to explain to him that she doesn’t need him or maybe love has passed, and the relationship has faded away and she still wants to send the guy away, but doesn’t know how do it. There are several options for explaining to a guy that I don't need him.

HOW TO TELL A GUY I DON'T NEED HIM

By phone: If you want and think it's the best option for you to let your guy know that you don't need her over the phone, then do it. Although it all depends on the length of your messages, if you have been together for a long time and you have had a relationship more than just meeting and chatting, then it is best to tell the guy that you do not need him in person. This will allow him to perceive it more gently than hearing this on the phone. Although, again, it all depends on your desire and the character of the guy. We recommend that you read

Via message: You can tell a guy that I don't need him by texting him. What to write in such a message? Just write everything strictly intelligibly, so that the guy would not have any questions how and why. As an example, let's give a small message to a guy: “Hi, Alexey. I want to tell you that our relationship with you, which you are counting on, cannot be realized, since my tastes and interests in relation to men are different. I ask you not to be offended and try, as you can think of me, it will be easier for you and me. Thank you for understanding me." The message can be any other, the main thing is that it reflects the essence of what you want to bring to the guy and was not in a rude form.


When we will meet face to face: In addition to a phone call, you can also explain to the guy that I don’t need him in person. A personal meeting is used out of courtesy to a guy, for example, when your relationship was very close, and you spent more than one night together. When explaining to a guy in person that you don’t need him, you should be prepared for the fact that he will be upset and very bitter, he may even cry. But do not try to comfort him, hug him, kiss him, say sweet words, this will only aggravate his situation, it is best to say goodbye and thank him in a calm voice for your relationship and leave.

WHAT TO DO AFTER A MESSAGE

Continue communication: After you have explained to the guy that you no longer need him, you should not continue the relationship under any circumstances except the most extreme ones. For example, a guy can study with you or work. In this case, conduct the most strict conversations with him, but not in terms of severity, but in terms of not allowing you to flirt or in any other way give him signals and hints that your relationship can be restored. Behave as if he is a complete stranger to you and nothing has ever happened between you. We recommend that you read

Stop talking completely: If the opportunity allows, then after you have informed the guy that you no longer need him, completely refuse to communicate with him. Do not have any conversations and relationships completely ignore him. After all, every communication you have with him is a reason for the guy that not everything is lost and you can still return it. Do not let him do this then over time he will fall in love with another girl, and he will begin to forget you and leave you alone.

HOW TO REJECT A GUY SILENTLY

Complete ignore guy: In addition to the fact that the guy can be told that he is not needed by phone in a message or in person, you can still completely ignore the signs of attention and the guy’s attempts to communicate with you. That is, apply a complete ignore to the guy who you do not need. Of course, ending a relationship with a guy after your long relationship with a complete ignore is not the best option, but if your relationship as such did not exist at all, then in principle you can try to ignore the guy and thereby explain to him and make it clear that you do not need him.

IF THE GUY DOES NOT BE LAGGER

Explain again: The guy can be very annoying and after you explain to the guy that you don’t need him, he can continue to bother you and insist on his own and demand to start a relationship with him. In this case, it’s worth explaining to the guy again that you don’t need him, but in a tougher form and explain that if he doesn’t calm down, then you will take tougher methods of dealing with the guy’s annoyance.

Completely ignore it: If none of your arguments and explanations for the guy that you don’t need her help and the guy pursues you everywhere and everywhere, and maybe even threatens you, then you have only one way out - to go to court and write a statement to the district police officer on this guy. Do not be afraid to write a statement to the district police officer, this is not to start a criminal case against the guy, but just to conduct a pre-investigation check. The district police officer will call the guy, have a conversation with him and explain that his further actions can be regarded as harassment of a certain nature, and this already draws on a bad criminal article. As a rule, this helps in 99% of cases. We recommend that you read

Probably everyone has heard this phrase: "Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus." What does it mean? Does this mean that we are so different that we are not able to understand each other? I would like to believe that this is not so. After all, men and women will always live and build their happiness together. Today we will talk about how to explain your point of view to a guy or a man if he is not in the mood to listen to you.

Women's wisdom

A woman rightfully plays a major role in a relationship. A man is set to achieve in the outside world, and a woman - in the inner. It is with the help of female wisdom that harmonious relationships are built in a couple.

Psychologists give some advice on how a woman can build a dialogue with her chosen one so that he understands her.

  • Do not lock yourself in, do not expect a man to guess about your desires. This is a typical mistake of many women. He himself must understand that ... He does not have to do anything, especially to be able to read minds. Because of this understatement, conflicts and misunderstandings most often arise.
  • When you explain something, do not criticize, do not scold your man. You won't achieve anything by swearing. Try to always speak calmly, kindly, even if you fundamentally disagree with your man. Do not cut, do not make claims, do not throw phrases like "you still won't succeed", "you can't do anything, you don't understand", etc.
  • Do not make yourself a mother or boss, do not teach, do not lecture, do not teach how to live. Remember, if you suppress a man, your relationship will collapse. Do not try to win or beat a man. This is his role - to be a winner. Your task is not to prove your case at any cost, but to find a compromise. A woman must be flexible.
  • Speak easier. Often women speak in some kind of hints, riddles that are difficult for men to decipher. Be direct and specific, to the point. Do not jump from topic to topic, do not talk about everything at once.
  • Give the man time. When asked or expressed a thought, do not rush to get an instant reaction. Be patient and wait for the guy to answer. Do not interrupt the man in conversation.
  • Listen to his suggestions. If he says something, suggests, do not rush to object, argue, argue. Think about it, maybe he's right?

Visuals, auditory, kinesthetics

See which channel of perception dominates your man. People are divided into auditory, visual and kinesthetic. Audials better perceive information by ear, visuals - by visual images, for kinesthetics sensory perception prevails. Perhaps your man can't hear you because you speak a different language? Speak your boyfriend's language.

  • If he is auditory, use verbs: listen, this sounds good, let's discuss, etc. Speak in a smooth, melodious voice, never yell.
  • If he is a visual person, the following turns of phrase will help you: look, you see, we'll see, we'll see, a bright picture, etc. Make sure that the guy sees you well when talking, use expressive gestures.
  • If he is kinesthetic, say these words: I feel that .., you understand me, change for the better, my feelings are like this, etc. When you speak, hug, take by the hand, pat on the shoulder.

Also on our website you will find an article on what to answer a guy and how to do it right -