Why is the child often hysterical? Child hysterics: what to do? Screams, tears, stamping feet, throwing things around and outbursts of aggression…. Tantrums and whims

20.09.2019

Children's tantrums are a terrible dream for all parents. Even the most obedient kids throw tantrums, because in this way they show their emotions. Why will children be hysterical? How to deal with this phenomenon? Let's figure it out together.

The kid cries, screams, throws things, bangs his head on the floor - sooner or later all parents face this behavior of a child. Children's tantrums are one of the stages of development, babies express their emotions by crying and crying. Especially often, this behavior can be observed during a period when the child still does not know how to speak. Active emotional development begins at 2 years old, many parents complain that at this age the child is constantly hysterical. But then more: at the age of 3, the child experiences the first "crisis", he is hysterical for literally any reason. By the age of four, when children can already express their feelings in words, such behavioral problems should disappear. What to do if you are faced with childish tantrums? Wait? In no case do not let everything go by itself, the baby may not "outgrow" the problem. Realizing that what you want can be achieved by screaming and crying, your child can continue to use this method of manipulation. Your task is from an early age to teach the baby to express his emotions and voice his desires without hysterics.

Learn to anticipate tantrums. Surely you know what triggers a violent reaction in a baby, and what signs indicate that a storm is about to break out. If you notice that the child is about to start hysteria, try to divert his attention. This technique works great on children under three years old: it is easy to switch the attention of babies, moreover, they quickly forget about experiences.

Be sure to show your baby that you don't like this behavior. During tantrums, it is useless to shout and sort things out. Better to leave the room, depriving the child of spectators. You can take the baby to another room and say that he will be able to return back only when he calms down. In most cases, these techniques work.

If the child has entered a state of hysteria so deeply that he cannot stop (crying is accompanied by hiccups, breathing becomes difficult), then help him. It is best to calm the baby with affection. Don't expect crying to stop right away, be patient. After the child calms down, explain to him what the tantrums lead to.

In the fight against hysteria, the main thing is consistency. Your behavior should be the same in every situation. Children often throw tantrums in public, so stick to one line even in public. Be prepared for the fact that there are "well-wishers" who will look askance at you or even give advice. Do not listen to anyone and remain calm. The child must understand that he will not achieve anything by hysteria either at home or on the street.

What to do if the child's tantrums do not stop even at the age of 5? At this age, children can already cope with their emotions, so the reason for tantrums in most cases lies in the connivance of their parents. If from an early age you gave your child everything that he demanded with the help of a cry, then most likely he will behave this way for a long time, if not always. Five years is a conscious age, so correct the mistake you made with conversations. If hysterics have a specific reason (strained relationships in the team, the appearance of a second child in the family), then try to understand the baby, surround him with love and affection. But at the same time, in no case should you encourage screaming and tears.

Many parents complain that the child starts hysterics before bedtime. Such tantrums usually have quite understandable reasons. Often the baby screams and cries before bedtime because he still wants to play or watch a cartoon. The child must have a regime, you cannot make concessions because of tantrums. Emotions that the baby experienced during the day can also provoke a hysteria before bedtime. If the child is overexcited, try to calm him down with quiet games, reading a book, or talking. Throwing tantrums, lying in bed, the baby may due to lack of attention from the parents: devote the evening hours to communication with your child.

Childhood tantrums are one of the most unpleasant aspects of parenting. Most parents are taught that there is only one sure-fire way to react to a tantrum - ignore it. However, it makes sense to learn to distinguish between tantrums of different origins - after all, you need to react to them in different ways. We will tell you how the scandals that children roll and the development of their brains are connected.

When you have, you may notice that there are two types of tantrums. ... Top floor tantrum occurs when the child, in fact, arbitrarily decides roll it up. He makes a conscious choice to act in this way, terrorize you, and manipulate you until he gets what he wants. Despite all the drama and seemingly sincere pleas, he is able to instantly end the hysteria, having received what he demanded.

The reason for this ability to stop is that at this moment the child is using the upper brain. He is able to control his emotions and bodily reactions, reason logically and make sound decisions. So, the girl, perhaps, looks completely out of control when she screams heart-rendingly in the middle of the supermarket: "I want those slippers with the princess now!" - but you will find that she is in control and is simply manipulating you to achieve the desired outcome.

Parents who have recognized an upstairs tantrum have only one obvious reaction: never negotiate with a terrorist... The upstairs tantrum calls for hard boundaries and clear decisions about what behavior is acceptable and what is unacceptable. The correct response to a situation like this would be a calm explanation:

“I understand that you really liked these slippers, but I absolutely do not like the way you behave. If you do not stop right now, you will not get slippers, and I will have to forbid you to go to the children's party today, because you do not know how to behave. "

After that, it is very important to carry out the announced punishment if the behavior has not stopped. By providing clear constraints of this type, you give your daughter the opportunity to observe the consequences of her unacceptable behavior and practice controlling her own urges. You teach her that respectful treatment, patience, and delayed pleasure are rewarded, but the opposite behavior is not. These are important lessons for brain development.

If you refuse to succumb to the pressure of upstairs tantrums - regardless of your child's age - you will stop facing them regularly. Because overhead tantrums are intentional, the child will stop using these types of techniques as soon as they are convinced that they are ineffective, and sometimes lead to negative results.

Downstairs Tantrum - something completely different. In this case, the child is so upset that not able to use your upper brain. Your little one gets so angry about pouring water on his head to wash his hair that he starts screaming, throwing toys out of the tub, and frantically swinging his fists to punch you. In this case, the lower part of his brain, in particular his amygdala, takes over and holds his upper brain hostage. Stress hormones filling the small body prevent the upper brain from functioning fully. As a result, he is literally unable - at least for the moment - to control his body and emotions, exercise reason, consider possible consequences, solve problems, or take into account the feelings of another person. He lost his temper. The gate has blocked the way to the top floor, and he simply cannot use his entire brain.

When your child is in this state of disintegration and the downstairs tantrum has taken on massive proportions, a completely different parental response is needed. If, in the event of an upper tantrum, parents need to quickly establish rigid boundaries of behavior, then the corresponding response to lower tantrums should be more gentle and soothing.

The first thing parents need to do is connect with their child and help them calm down. This can sometimes be achieved with gentle touches and comforting intonations. Or, if he has gone so far that he can injure himself or someone else, or break something, it is better to take him in your arms, hug him and calmly talk to him, taking him away from the scene.

You can experiment with different approaches depending on your child's temperament, but most importantly, you must comfort him. In these cases, it makes no sense to talk about punishment or acceptability of behavior. He is simply not able to perceive this information at the moment of hysterics of the lower brain, since such conversations require the functioning of the upper brain, which is able to listen to and assimilate information.

Then, when the upstairs brain is back on the scene, you can start acting with logic and reasoning ("Did you hate that Daddy washed your hair like that? How would you like us to wash your hair next time?"). Once the child has become more receptive, you can talk about acceptable and unacceptable behavior and any possible consequences (“I know that you are very angry because the water was flowing on your face. But you cannot hit anyone, even if you are very angry. You can tell me with words: "I don't like this. Please stop"). Your parenting measures are now able to maintain your credibility - which is very important - and you can implement them in a more informed and empathetic way. And your child is more likely to learn this lesson because you teach him the moment his brain becomes receptive to learning.

As experienced parents know, it is not uncommon for toddlers to lose their temper. If this happens to a ten-year-old child, things look different, but a child of any age (and even an adult!) Is susceptible to capture by the lower brain in situations of emotional tension. This is why knowing about the upper and lower brains - and that tantrums can occur on different floors - can help us better discipline our children. It allows you to see more clearly when to draw the line and when to use affectionate empathy.

Discussion

thank you for the article

we often have tantrums

I didn't even know that children's tantrums can be divided into types. And then some are even impossible to stop. Now I will know how to act, otherwise the child is small, capricious. And this is just manipulation. Well, now I will just ignore the kid until he realizes that it is bad to do so. I also like to read the portal Hedgehog, there is a lot of useful information. Now I will add this site to bookmarks :)

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Children often put their parents in situations where it is very difficult to decide what to do. And one of the most common problems is tantrums.

The kid screams, bangs his feet on the floor, often throws toys and other objects that come under his arm, wanting to get his way. What should parents do if a child's tantrum has become a part of their life?

Punish the kid, leave the room and wait for him to calm down, ignoring him, or try to calm down and reduce the conflict to nothing? How to effectively deal with tantrums in children of 3 years old, psychologists advise.

Crisis at 3 years old or why did the baby start throwing tantrums?

Any outburst of negativity has a basis, and tantrums in a 4-year-old child are no exception. And here it doesn't matter whether you are raising a son or a daughter, the reasons are always the same. Therefore, in this situation, treats children with equal patience, not dividing them by gender.

Important! Arguments “you’re a girl, you should not behave like that” or “real men don’t behave like that” are not arguments in any situation, especially when it comes to hysterics.

The main reason for the occurrence of tantrums in a child is “frustration”. The term denotes the inability to satisfy all the desires of a person that arose at this moment. Adults also often have to deal with this condition, like children, only they endure it more calmly, realizing, in most cases, the inappropriateness of their tantrums.

The natural stage of a child's growing up is the realization that the whole world, including his own parents, does not intend to obey him, which means that he will have to look for compromises. For a 3-year-old child, such a model of the world looks unacceptable, which leads to tantrums.

The main task of an empathetic and loving parent is to help the child survive this time and to accept the fact that the world does not intend to obey him. However, behind this lies a very difficult task - if you correctly recognize the cause of the hysteria that has arisen, it will be possible to eliminate it.

What if in this way the child is simply trying to achieve what he wants, or he lacks your attention? Or maybe there is something that bothers him, and he is afraid of you in this, to admit.

Why a child misbehaves - the main reasons for disobedience

There is such a thing as a “three-year crisis”. And this phenomenon is characterized by a number of problems associated with the child's attempts to assert himself and realize himself as a person.

Therefore, when it comes to tantrums, psychologists identify three main reasons for this phenomenon:

Struggle for parental attention.From infancy, we teach a child that crying is a signal for adults, which means that everything, even the most important things, should be postponed, and attention must be immediately switched to the baby. Therefore, it is natural that an already fairly matured child of 3 years old will try to attract your attention with tantrums and whims for a long time;

The second possible cause of hysteria is an attempt to defend their own opinion, which is likely to be different from yours. This is most typical for children of 3 years old, when for the first time they declare “I am myself” to their parents and try to cope on their own, often failing. At this stage, the worst that a parent can do is criticism and reproaches that follow immediately after the failure. One way or another, they will certainly lead to hysteria.

A separate point is the fact that often leads to hysterics awareness of powerlessness... For example, a kid tried to do something on his own, but due to his age, he did not succeed. For a parent, this may seem natural, but the child's reaction at this moment can be violent and accompanied by hysteria.

Important!In no case should you say to your child: “Well, I told you that you won’t succeed” or “I knew that you couldn’t do it”. Such comments and dismissive attitude on your part will only confirm the child's idea of \u200b\u200bhis inability to cope with the problem, and over time he will stop even trying to overcome obstacles.

These are the main reasons for the emergence of "sudden" tantrums in a child, which every parent should know and be able to recognize in order to properly respond to such attacks and, as a result, raise a healthy, balanced person, self-confident.

Prohibitions for the good

Another reason for the eternal conflicts between children and their parents is prohibitions. We must admit that we forbid our children a lot, although we do it for their benefit. The problem is that children, like adolescents, lack perspective thinking. That is, in fact, there is no future for them. It seems to them distant and unreal.

Therefore, the arguments: “Don't eat sweets, your teeth will fall out early” or “Don't play on the computer, you will spoil your eyesight” are just empty words for them. The child wants to have fun here and now, and the consequences are of little interest to him.

Of course, such unawareness should in no way be a reason for connivance on the part of parents, but you need to be prepared that this can also cause bad behavior and the appearance of tantrums. After all, every day the needs of the baby are growing, and, accordingly, the number of restrictions for him also increases, which can affect his behavior.

Important!Do not let your child manipulate you and get your way with tantrums. Having given up once, you will give your child a reason to try to do it again and again, and the tantrums will continue for more than one month, or even a year.

You need to understand that all the prohibitions that you voice to the child must be stable. That is, having set the framework once, you should not violate them either of your own free will or of the child.

Suppose you made a decision that now the baby will go to bed no later than nine o'clock in the evening and steadfastly held out for several days. However, here your friends came, and after sitting up late, you gave the kid the opportunity, say, to watch cartoons.

Be prepared that after that, during the next few days, in the evenings the baby will throw you "groundless" tantrums. After all, if you yourself violated your prohibition, then you demonstrated to him that the established rules can be changed at your request.

The psychologist recommends!For a healthy and sound baby's sleep, it is not recommended to let the child watch cartoons or play computer games, at least 2 hours before bedtime. These activities have an exciting effect on the nervous system, which can negatively affect the quality of the baby's rest.

How to deal with childish tantrums and find an approach to your own child?

Unlike the misconceptions that existed earlier, today almost every parent knows that even at the age of three, all children are different from each other and require an individual approach. This is especially noted by parents if the family has several children. What used to work with an older child may be completely ineffective with a younger child.

The decisive factor that determines your actions in the event of a tantrum in a child is his temperament. Those methods that can prevent or stop the whims of one baby are likely to only aggravate the problem in the second. Therefore, before taking decisive action, you need to understand which group your baby belongs to.

Psychologists advise parents to thoroughly understand the concept of "temperament" and not to confuse it with "character". After all, the character lends itself to change, and can be corrected by upbringing, while the temperament is inherent in the child from birth, and persists throughout his life.

In children, as in adults, there are 4 main types of temperament:

melancholic;

phlegmatic person;

sanguine;

Of course, one hundred percent representative of each type is almost impossible to meet, and most often the ratio is presented in indicators of 70 to 30. However, it is for the most part that you can navigate when choosing a method of action.

Sanguine - the least prone to tantrums children. As a rule, they are cheerful, and have a stable nervous system that copes with stress quite easily if you switch it to other activities. Such a child can easily be distracted by offering him a new, interesting activity or entertainment. They love to spend time with adults - parents, grandparents, doing common things.

The only difficulty that arises in the process of such a baby is that sanguine people are very cunning. It is almost impossible to force a kid to do something against his will, and methods that are too harsh cannot be used here so as not to injure the child. Get your way patiently, persistently, but affectionately. Their behavior is directly dependent on how you treat them.

Psychologist's advice! If a grandmother takes part in raising a child, then be sure to discuss with her a single model of action while the child throws a tantrum. Otherwise, he will very quickly understand who they act on and who they don't.

Such children should not be overly praised if they really do not deserve it, as they are prone to overestimated self-esteem, which in the future can lead to the development of "star fever". Be moderate in your praise and criticism. Soberly evaluate the child's achievements, gently pushing him not to stop there.

Melancholic Is one of the most demanding types when it comes to raising a 3-year-old child. They get upset easily and lose faith in their own strength. They are very susceptible to stress, get tired quickly, and it is strictly forbidden to raise their voice, and even more so, physically punish such a child. Otherwise, in the future, you will have to spend a lot of time to eliminate the consequences of such upbringing.

Such children experience serious stress when they go to kindergarten, and at this time they need special support from their parents and grandparents. The cause of tantrums in such children is most often the inability to cope with the circumstances on their own, and you need to show maximum patience for a while while the baby adapts to the new environment.

As educational measures, "reading notations", as well as shouts and threats, are categorically unsuitable for such children. The best way is to be an example, and in the event of a conflict situation, first to calm down the child, and then try to create the most calm atmosphere for him in the house, spending time with him, without reproaching him, and shaming him for an emotional attack and indecent behavior.

It will not be superfluous to talk with the kindergarten teacher if the child is already attending it. Explain the situation and tell us what to do if the child decided to conduct a strength test and threw a tantrum.

After your child has returned from kindergarten, try to give him a chance to relax. Children 3 years old often require a long period of adaptation to a new team and daily routine.

Important! Calming a child down doesn't mean promising him to do whatever he wants. You can calmly tell him how much you love him, and that you are worried about his health and safety, arguing your refusal with real facts.

Phlegmatic - very calm and balanced children. They are often slow and indecisive. In this case, the most effective way of influence will be a verbal explanation. Such kids are very susceptible to conversations, and if you are engaged in their upbringing, then literally in one or two months, the tantrums will simply subside, giving way to balance and the search for compromises.

The main thing in educating a phlegmatic person is not to suppress his desires, and not to dominate him. Otherwise, as a result, a person will grow up who does not know what he wants and is not able to make an independent decision.

Choleric - the most active and mobile children among all four species. Their tantrums occur, as a rule, constantly, against the background of the emergence of excessive emotions, as well as as a reaction to overprotection on the part of parents and relatives: grandfathers, grandmothers and others.

Such children are most prone to displaying aggression, which at the age of three looks like hysteria. Here, such behavior cannot be ignored, otherwise, over time, it may develop into constant outbursts of antisocial behavior.

Interesting!It is almost impossible to suppress the hysterics of a 3-year-old choleric child if you react with his own methods. Shouts and tantrums on your part will only aggravate the situation, fueling an already existing conflict.

It is much better to go the opposite way by adopting the opposite tone of the child. Calmly, but confidently, you must explain to the baby that his requirements will not be met, even if his tantrum continues. Even small concessions cannot be made categorically.

You must adhere to your fair demands, and not allow the child to manipulate you, using their attacks of aggression and moods.

In conclusion, we can say that raising a balanced child, self-confident, is the main task of every parent. Therefore, when faced with tantrums and whims of your baby, you must act patiently and consistently, not giving place to your own feelings and emotions.

Always be fair, react consistently, and don't let your child manipulate you with tantrums, no matter how old they are.

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During a tantrum, the child loses his composure, and his general condition is characterized as extremely agitated. Tantrums in a child are accompanied by the following symptoms: crying, screaming, swinging legs and arms. During seizures, the baby can bite himself or nearby people, falls to the floor, there are cases of head hits against the wall. The baby in this state does not perceive the usual words and beliefs, reacts inadequately to speech. This period is not suitable for explanations and admonitions. The conscious impact on adults is calculated so that in the end he will get what he wants. This behavior is often beneficial.

During a tantrum, the child is characterized by an extremely unstable emotional state and is capable of inappropriate actions

The reasons

The older the baby is, the more personal desires and interests he has. Sometimes these views are at odds with what the parents think. A clash of positions occurs. The child sees that he cannot achieve what he wants and begins to get angry and nervous. Such tense situations provoke the appearance of hysterical states. Let's list the main factors influencing this:

the baby is not able to state and express his dissatisfaction;
an attempt to draw attention to yourself;
the desire to get something you need;
overwork, hunger, lack of sleep;
a painful condition during an exacerbation of the disease or after it;
trying to become like other children or to be like an adult;
the result of excessive guardianship and excessive strictness of parents;
positive or negative actions of the child do not have a clear reaction from adults;
the system of rewards and punishments is poorly worked out;
when the child is taken away from some exciting activity;
wrong upbringing;
weak nervous system, unbalanced behavior.

Having once seen something like this in their baby, parents often do not know how to react and how to stop it? The only desire in the moments of seizures is that they end as soon as possible and no longer begin. It is parents who can influence their frequency. The duration of such situations will depend on their correct and rational behavior.

Mistakes in responding will lead to delaying unpleasant moments for many years. Calm reaction to hysterical attacks, lack of reaction as such will reduce children's tantrums to "no" in the shortest possible time.

Difference from whims

Before starting the fight against hysterical attacks, one should distinguish between the two concepts of "hysteria" and "whim". Whims are deliberate actions aimed at getting what you want, the impossible or the forbidden. Whims appear similar to tantrums: stamping, shouting, throwing objects. Whims are often born where there is no way to fulfill them - for example, you want to eat candy, but they are not in the house, or go for a walk, and there is a shower outside the window.

Children's tantrums are characterized by involuntary behavior. The kid cannot cope with emotions, and this spills out in physical manifestations. So, in a hysterical state, a child tears his hair, scratches his face, cries loudly or bangs his head against the wall. It can be stated that sometimes there are even involuntary convulsions, which are called "hysterical bridge". A child in this state bends in an arc.

Stages of seizures

How do children's tantrums manifest? 2-3 years is the age characterized by the following stages of seizures:

Stage	Description
Scream	Loud cries of the child frighten the parents. At the same time, no requirements are put forward. During the onset of the next tantrum, the baby does not see or hear anything around.
Motor excitement	The main characteristics of the period: active scattering of things, stomping, kicks, hands and head strikes against the wall, floor. The baby does not feel pain at such moments.
Sobbing	The child begins to cry. They just flow in streams, and the whole kind of toddler expresses resentment. The kid, who crossed the second stage and did not receive consolation in it, continues to sob for a very long time. Babies find it very difficult to cope with the emotions that flood them. Having received calmness only at the last stage, the child will be completely exhausted, express a desire to sleep in the daytime. Falls asleep quickly, but sleeps with disturbing sleep at night.

In case of hysteria, the child may fall to the floor and bend in an arc, which is especially shocking to unprepared parents

A weak and unbalanced type of a child's nervous system is most susceptible to severe seizures. Hysterical manifestations also occur at the age of 1 year. They are characterized by heart-rending prolonged crying. What can cause this condition? The reason may be even a minimal mistake in care: mom did not change wet pants, a feeling of thirst or hunger, the requirement to sleep, pain from colic. Such children are characterized by constant waking up at night. A one-year-old baby can continue to cry for a long time, even if the causes have already been eliminated.

Tantrums in a child of 1.5-2 years

Children in a year and a half throw tantrums against the background of overstrain in emotional terms and from fatigue. A not fully established psyche gives such results, but the older the child, the more conscious his hysterical attacks are. In this way, he manipulates the feelings of his parents to achieve his goals.

By the age of 2, a grown-up baby already understands well how to use the words “I don’t want”, “no” and understands the meaning of the phrase “no”. Having realized the mechanism of their action, he begins to apply them in practice. The two-year-old cannot yet verbally express his protest or disagreement, so he resorts to a more expressive form - to hysterical fits.

Aggressive and unbridled behavior of a 1-2-year-old child shocks parents, they do not know which reaction will be correct. The kid screams, waving his arms, lying on the floor, scratching himself - all these actions require an adequate response from adults. Some adults succumb to provocations and fulfill all the desires of the toddler, and another part resort to physical punishment in order to wean them from this in the future.

When hysterical, the child can become aggressive and unbridled, but parents should not panic and follow the lead of the little dictator

Correct reaction: what is it?

What should be the reaction to the hysterical attacks of a two-year-old? It is often based on a whim, expressed in the words "I will not", "give", "I do not want", etc. Unable to prevent the occurrence of a hysterical attack, throw away thoughts of calming the child. Also, do not enlighten or scold him, this will only further inflame his impulse. Don't leave your child alone. It is important to keep him in sight, so the baby will not be afraid, but will maintain self-confidence.

Once you succumb to a baby, you risk getting a repeated repetition of this. Do not reinforce this skill, do not follow the lead. Once he feels that the child is achieving his own by his behavior, he will resort to this method again and again.

One-time adult weakness can turn into a long-term problem. It is also not worth hitting and punishing the child, physical influences will not bring results, but will only aggravate the baby's behavior. Complete ignorance of childish tantrums really helps. Seeing that his efforts are in vain and if they do not bring the desired result, the child will abandon this method of influence.

You can gently and calmly calm him down by telling the baby how you love him, while hugging and holding him tightly in your arms. Try to be dearer and more tender, even if he is very angry, shouts or bangs his head. Do not hold the toddler breaking out of your embrace by force. In a situation where the baby is hysterical due to the fact that he does not want to stay with someone (with a grandmother, with a teacher), then you should leave the room as soon as possible, leaving him with an adult. Delaying the moment of parting will only lengthen the process of childish hysteria.

Tantrums in public places

It is very difficult for parents to control the process of hysterical demands in public places. It is much easier and safer for a 2-year-old child to give in to stop the noise and establish calm, but this opinion is extremely erroneous. The sidelong glances of others should not worry you at this moment, the most important thing is the same reaction to similar actions.

Having yielded once and calmed down the scandal, you provoke a second repetition of the situation. The crumb asks for a toy in the store - be firm in your refusal. Do not react to his stomping, indignation and discontent of any plan. Seeing the confident and unshakable behavior of the parents, the child will understand that hysterical seizures do not help to achieve what they want. Remember that the baby arranges hysterical attacks in order to influence, often in public places, relying on the opinion of the public.

The best response is to wait a bit. After the end of the attack, you should calm the baby, hug and tenderly ask the reason for his behavior, and also say that talking to him is much more pleasant when he is in a calm state.

Tantrums in a child 3 years old

A child at 3 years old wants to be independent and feel his adulthood and independence. The baby already has its own desires and wants to defend its rights in front of adults. Children of 3 years old are on the verge of new discoveries and begin to feel like a unique person, they can behave in different ways in such a difficult period (we recommend reading :). The main characteristics of this stage are negativism, stubbornness and self-will. Tantrums in a child of 3 years old often discourage parents. Yesterday their baby did everything with joy and pleasure, and today he does everything in spite of it. Mom asks to eat soup, and the baby throws a spoon, or dad calls to him, and the child persistently ignores these requests. It seems that the main words of the three-year-old are “I don’t want”, “I will not”.

We go out to fight tantrums

How to deal with child tantrums? It is important, when weaning crumbs from this harmful activity, not to concentrate your attention on his bad deeds. Give up the desire to break his character, this will not lead to anything good. Of course, letting the child do whatever the child wants is also unacceptable. How, then, to deal with this misfortune? The child must understand that hysteria does not help to achieve any results. Wise grandmothers and mothers know that the best way in such cases is to divert children's attention to something else, to distract him. Choose interesting alternatives: watch your favorite cartoon or work out, play together. This method will not work if the baby is already in the apogee of hysteria. Then the best thing is to wait it out.

When showing tantrums at home, clearly articulate your idea that any conversations with him will be only after he calms down. Do not pay attention to it yourself at this moment and do your household chores. Parents should be examples of how to control their emotions and stay calm. When the baby calms down, talk to him and tell him how much you love him and that his whims will not help you achieve anything.

When whims happen in a crowded place, try to take or take the child to a place where there will be fewer spectators. Regular tantrums in a baby provide for a more attentive attitude to the words that you say to the child. Avoid situations where denial may be the answer to your question. Do not say categorically: "Get dressed rather, it's time to go outside!" Create the illusion of choice: "Will you go in a red sweater or a blue sweater?" or "Where would you like to go, a park or a playground?"

Approaching the age of 4 years, the child will change - children's tantrums will subside and will pass as suddenly as they appeared. The baby is entering the age when there is already the ability to talk about their desires, emotions and feelings.

Sometimes an ordinary cartoon helps to distract the child and switch his attention.

Tantrums in a child 4 years old

Often we, adults, ourselves provoke the appearance of whims and tantrums in children. Permissiveness, lack of framework and concepts "no" and "no" do the kid a disservice. The baby falls into the trap of parental carelessness. So, children of 4 years old perfectly feel the slack, and if mom says “no”, then grandmother can resolve. It is important for parents and all upbringing adults to agree and discuss what is permitted and prohibited, as well as inform the child. After that, you should clearly adhere to the established rules. All adults should be united in their parenting methods and not violate the prohibitions of others.

Komarovsky claims that frequent childish whims and tantrums may indicate the presence of diseases of the nervous system. You should contact a neurologist or psychologist for help if:

there is an increased manifestation of hysterical situations, as well as their aggressiveness;
there is a violation or interruption of breathing during attacks, the child loses consciousness;
tantrums continue after 5-6 years of age;
the baby hits or scratches himself, others;
tantrums appear at night in combination with nightmares, fears and frequent mood swings;
after an attack, the child has vomiting, shortness of breath, lethargy and fatigue.

When doctors determine the absence of any diseases, one should look for the reason in family relationships. The immediate environment of the baby can also have a great influence on the appearance of hysterical attacks.

Prevention

How to deal with child hysteria? It is important for parents to grasp the moment that is close to the attack. The baby may purse his lips, sniff, or sob slightly. Having noticed such characteristic signs, try to switch the baby to something interesting.

Distract the child's attention by showing the view from the window or changing the room by playing with an interesting toy. This technique is relevant at the very beginning of a child's tantrum. With the active development of an attack, this method will not give results. To prevent hysterical states, Dr. Komarovsky gives the following advice:

Compliance with the rest and daily routine.
Avoid overwork.
Respect the child's right to personal time, allow them to play for their own pleasure.
Use words to describe the child's feelings. For example, say: "You are offended that your toy was taken away from you" or "You are angry because mom did not give the candy." This will teach your child how to communicate and verbalize their feelings. Gradually he will learn to control them. Once you've identified the boundaries, make it clear that breaking them is unacceptable. For example, a kid screams in the transport, you explain: "I understand, you are angry with me, but screaming on the bus is unacceptable."
Don't help your child do something they can do on their own (take off their pants or go downstairs).
Let the child choose, for example, in which jacket to go outside, or which playground to go for a walk.
Assuming no choice, express it like this: "We go to the clinic."
When the baby starts crying, distract him by asking him to find some object or show him where something is.

(10 appreciated at 4,50 of 5 )

And I know exactly why my daughter had hysterics. All because of the kindergarten. Although she always played with the children with pleasure, but did not want to go to the group. The pediatrician gave good advice - to drink a course of Bunny syrup. After him, in principle, gradually our daughter became more obedient and flexible.

The article is not written by a professional. You can never ignore the tantrum of a child in 1-3 years. At this age, he himself cannot control and calm down. In this every pro knows and agrees. Such is the child's fragile psyche. Exit-switch attention. And ignored by heartless parents

Has your child ever been hysterical as described in the article? When for 2 years and in hysterics he does not hear and does not see anything, and all persuasion only kindle him even more? It seems you haven't had this once you write this

The child is 2.3 and we cannot be parted from the nipple. If during the day I can somehow endure her hysterics and somehow try to get distracted, and that does not always work out, then at night I simply do not have enough strength. We go to kindergarten and it's the same there. The teacher swears, said that she would be weaned within a few days. Or stayed at home, what to do?

Try to talk to the child like an adult, explain that he is already big, mom and dad do not use a pacifier. You can "give" a dummy to another baby, he needs it more. At night, try to calm the child in all sorts of ways: swing, sing a song, hug. Mom should show patience and perseverance in this matter, sometimes the baby feels the mother's insecurity and continues to beg for a pacifier, this should not be.
Try to cut off the tips of all the nipples, give them as if nothing had happened, here you go, suck on your health! Interest will disappear during the day! We weaned so much in a day!

Your child is at the age of 3 years of crisis. It is not easy for him himself during this period and his mother must help him go through this stage of growing up. Try to divert the little rebel's attention to something else when you feel a scandal is brewing. Always try to give a choice in a particular issue. For example, a child refuses to eat, ask him: "What plate will you have the soup in - blue or with flowers?" The kid will feel that he is reckoned with, treated like an adult. This can be done in any matter.

Hello, Doctor. Tell me, my child 2, 3 began to yell without reassurance, demands to wear not these but other pants, or even take off his jacket in winter and yells like a pig, not reacting to anything. Hands down, you can't go out into the street, screams for half an hour all over the yard.

The child is at the age of crisis 2 years. Mom needs to help the baby go through this period, it is not necessary to obey everything that the child does not want, just to be able to transfer attention to something else in time, to interest the baby. If a tantrum is coming, quickly change the subject, suggest a choice, red pants or green? Do you have porridge or soup? Want to go without a jacket? Let him try to go out at least to the entrance, and understand on himself that it is cold. Sometimes it’s better to give a feel for yourself than to explain how cold it is.

The crisis of 2 years is characterized by whims and tantrums. Mom needs to be a “distraction specialist” during this period. Reacts violently to the word "no"? Just do not say it, replace it with a story about what will happen as a result of a bad deed or action. Sometimes it is easier to give a try to something so that the child is convinced of the result, understands the cause-and-effect relationship. Doesn't want to wear mittens on the street - let him feel how cold it is, walk with bare hands, etc.

Good evening, I have this problem. My child is 2.4 years old, since they began to visit the garden, they were hysterical, falling on the floor, screaming, nervous, I don't know what to do anymore, tell me, please.

Do not forget that adaptation to kindergarten is rather difficult for some children. It is not uncommon for a child to be "golden" in the garden, he is praised, but there must be a way out of emotions. And, as a rule, this happens in a place where the child can relax emotionally - at home. Do not forget that whims, tantrums are, first of all, an expression of a request for love, affection. It is hard for the child during this period, hug him more often, say how good he is, always pay attention and praise for good behavior.

Hello, Natalia! Please help me with advice ... I'm already desperate and don't know what to do .. Daughter, 2.7. She is very stubborn in character, behaves aggressively - she can bite and hit, sends “go outside” into the street. Lately, the nerves do not stand at all - when he starts screaming - give me a tangerine, show cartoons, give money (to sort through them and play with them). I have no strength at all. The neighbors are already knocking on the wall !!! Our family is normal, no one is aggressive, we love it very much, we regret it, we constantly kiss and hug it, and we cannot understand why and where such aggression comes from…. I read many articles on this topic, and advice such as: explaining to a child his behavior and feelings in an even voice does not help. Going to another room does not help. Not reacting in any way - even more falls into hysterics. No more strength. How should we be?

Yes, the crisis of three years is very difficult not only for children, but also for their parents and relatives. It is important to remember that this is another stage of growing up, and soon this period of negativism, scandals and stubbornness will end. Be lighter on the situation, do not focus on the hysterics, immediately try to switch the child's attention to something else. It is much more difficult for the baby now, he does not understand what is happening to him, he cannot control his emotions, be an example for your child. If the situation does not improve, a family consultation with a psychologist will help.

Good day! The child is 2 years old, recently weaned and the daughter seemed to be replaced…. Terrible tantrums began, 2-3 per day. We have been going to kindergarten for almost six months and this has never happened. Tell me if this is related to excommunication? Or coincided with the crisis 2 years?

Smooth weaning should not affect the baby that way. The kid is growing, and most likely, the crisis of 2 years makes itself felt in the form of whims, hysterics.

My daughter is 2.5 years old. If something is not the way she wants, she starts screaming, rioting, throwing things around. Any request is denied, constant rebellion. Even if he stands in the corner, he does not ask for forgiveness. The girl is smart, has been talking for a long time. There is also the oldest, 9 years old. They have the world, then the struggle for the telephone. I don't know how to react to this.

This is quite a typical manifestation of a crisis of 2-3 years, associated with the transition to a new level of growing up. The child opposes himself to adults, thereby trying to defend his point of view. And no matter what you ask him, there will be protests in everything. Thus, he wants to assert himself, to ensure that he is considered on a par with adults. In such a situation, you should not enter into negotiations, persistently impose your opinion, prove anything. Try to translate the topic, distract the baby to something else. Talk to your child on an equal footing, always ask his opinion, consult. Be sure to provide him with feasible chores around the house, ask for help in cleaning. This will help you get through a difficult period.

Good afternoon, I have a question, what to do if the child wants something and you don’t do it or don’t give it, he will throw a tantrum for 20 minutes, is this the norm? We avoid these tantrums, can you say I'm afraid of them, since he doesn't want to hear anything at all?

A child in 2-3 years is going through a crisis, which manifests itself in such tantrums, opposition to the opinion of adults, excessive tearfulness. Take a closer look, does the kid achieve what he wants through these scandals? If, after a long cry, the mother gives up and permits something or gives the cherished thing, then the child will take you out until the last, knowing that he will achieve his goal. Try to adhere to any prohibition to the end, transfer the child's attention to something interesting when you see the approach of tantrum. The absence of "spectators" in such a "performance" also helps, just leave the room, agreeing to return when he calms down.

My daughter is 2.7, somewhere from 2.5 hysterics began, we did not react before, we just went to another room and it helped, but now everything is much worse. Tantrums for no reason, and screams so that drool flows from the mouth, closes her mouth with her hands and cannot stop, what to do?

The child is 2 and 9 months old. Every day, constant tantrums with or without. I couldn’t go to kindergarten, because I didn’t want to be left without me (mom) even for a second, I immediately rolled into hysterics. Sleeps very badly since birth, falls asleep for a long time (more than an hour). We try to do everything right, but there is no effect. The older child was completely different. What to do with the little one, I have already become twitchy from the constant screams of the child.

Tantrums in a child are not such a rare occurrence. They are a manifestation of strong nervous overexcitation and are accompanied by uncontrolled behavior with loss of composure. A baby's tantrum occurs suddenly, and, as parents often believe, for no reason. We will understand in more detail why tantrums occur in a 3-year-old child, we will also consider the advice of a psychologist on this issue.

What could be the reasons

Most often, childish tantrums can be observed between the ages of one and four years. They pass in the form of strong crying, screaming. In this case, the child lies on the floor and rolls on it, waves his arms and knocks his legs. Quite rarely, but some babies may have a convulsive syndrome when it bends in an arched manner. At this moment, he lacks the ability to adequately assess the situation, and no conversations and other ways to calm him down do not help.

Many psychologists believe that the manifestation of hysteria is one of the methods of manipulation. And if mom or father tries to please at this moment in order to stop such a phenomenon, then it will continue again and again.

The reasons for hysteria in a child 3 years old and younger are usually as follows:

Drawing attention to yourself. This happens especially often when parents are constantly forced to spend time at work, or after the birth of a younger brother or sister. To avoid such a situation, you need to talk to him, and try to devote a little more time.
He wants to achieve what he wants - buying a toy, a gift, or something else. This can often be seen in the store when mom refuses to buy what she wants. This can be prevented only if you agree with the baby in advance, before going shopping, what exactly will be bought and what will not. And adhere to a strictly established agreement.
The child does not know how to express his negative attitude in conversation with ordinary words. Therefore, it is recommended to often go out with him for a conversation, to teach him normal communication.
Tantrums can be the result of a baby's poor health as a result of illness, overwork, overheating or freezing. It also happens when he wants to sleep or is hungry. This usually occurs in the youngest children, when parents grossly disturb the daily routine, and the little one gets very tired. So, for example, if you do not put him to bed on time and extend the waking time by an hour or two, then overexcitement occurs against the background of fatigue and the baby falls asleep with hysteria.
This behavior can be a consequence of the poor state of the nervous system, if the baby is often punished, beaten or shouted. Overprotectiveness can lead to the same result, when the mother does not allow the baby to take even one step on her own, and is in a state of constant anxiety.
As a reason for the sudden onset of fits of hysteria, you can also name the birth of a second child in the family, divorce of parents, death of loved ones, spending the first days outside the home (with a nanny or in kindergarten).
When a 4-year-old child is hysterical, it is a very unpleasant signal that not everything is well in the family. This age differs in that the son or daughter begins to imitate adults. Therefore, parents need to try so that there are no scandals in the house, and solve all problems in a conversation.
The reason for the appearance of an inadequate reaction may be the lack of a clear reaction of the parents to the positive and negative behavior of the toddler, as well as an incorrectly developed system of rewards and punishments.
In some cases, fits of hysterics can occur due to a malfunction in the baby's nervous system, or a disease.
Sometimes hysterics occurs when a child is engaged in an exciting game or other enjoyable business, and at this moment mom or dad begins to distract him, or rudely interrupts the process.
Most often, tantrums are noted at the age of three. At this age, psychologists note a crisis, which is characterized by the appearance of pronounced stubbornness and negativism towards parents. The little man begins to show stubbornness, does not come up to the call, undress if he is dressed. This is due to the inability to compromise. Having received what he wants by rolling a tantrum, the baby will repeat it again every time.

Faced with this for the first time, adults are lost, and do not know how to react correctly in this situation. The normal desire of any parent is to try to stop a child's tantrum, and then - to prevent the development of a new attack. With the right behavior and reaction to such a phenomenon, it is quite possible to do this, and in most cases the correct behavior and reaction will help to solve the problem once and for all, without resorting to the help of a specialist.

What do we have to do

There are many ways to stop a tantrum. Here are some of them that indicate how to deal with a child's tantrums.

Interruption at the second stage

Usually, a tantrum occurs in three stages. At the first, the baby starts screaming, while not noticing others. On the second, motor excitement begins, and he grabs all objects that come under his arm, stomps, falls to the floor. Then sobbing begins. Most often, if at the second stage the parent leaves for another room and does not pay attention to the baby, then the hysteria stops. In the event that the little one has already gone into sobbing, he should be hugged, sorry. He will calm down, relax and want to get some sleep.

Prevention

In the event that a one- or two-year-old child is constantly hysterical, it is recommended to prevent this phenomenon, preventing its development. At the slightest capriciousness, the baby needs to be distracted by something interesting for him. You need to try to understand what irritates him and eliminate it. This technique works well only when used at the very beginning. When an attack is in full swing, it does not make sense.

For older children

If a child of 3 years old is hysterical, what to do. At this age and older, he already understands well the meaning of speech. Therefore, parents should talk to him, explaining that this way of behavior will not bring the desired result, and does not affect how you get what you want. It is best to say in a gentle tone that Mom or Dad understands why this is happening, but it really won't help. In order for you to be heard all your desires, you need to pronounce it calmly.

After that, the child should be left alone, so that he has an understanding of the uselessness of such behavior. If the hysteria happened on the street, then it is best to take the baby to a place where there are no people, that is, to isolate him from any reaction of others.

If a child of 2 years old is constantly hysterical, the psychologist's advice on this matter is given as follows:

With any tantrum that arises, one should behave equally calmly and a little detached. This will allow the baby to understand the uselessness of screaming in solving his problem.
It is necessary each time during the period of calmness to explain that the problem should be solved only through calm conversation, and another method will not bring effect.
After an attack, one should not remind about it in any way, much less constantly comment on the current situation.
Under all circumstances, an adult should behave calmly and show maximum patience.
You should not show anger in response to such behavior of a son or daughter, because if he or she wants to attract attention in this way, and you give them what they want, only with a minus sign.

Psychologists say that in the case when hysteria has become a frequent manifestation due to the wrong reaction to non-parents, one should not expect an instant result after the first calm conversation. It takes some time for the new behavior to take hold. As a rule, everything goes away on its own by the age of four, but if this behavior continues at 4-5 years old, the reason should be sought in the wrong behavior of loved ones. This is especially true of grandmothers or grandfathers, who often indulge babies and provoke them to further negative manifestations of character.

But if the child is hysterical because of every trifle, and you have used all methods of preventing an attack, then in this case the help of a specialist is required, and you should visit a child neurologist or psychologist.