Psychossexual development of a woman. Stages of psychosexual development

Psychosexual development Orthodox point of view: phallic stage of urethral eroticism. Some orthodox analysts place the urethral stage between the anal and phallic. Phoenichel (18) recognizes the importance of urethral eroticism, but within the borders

The psychosexual development of the latent period is characterized by a relative decrease in the infantile sexual interests and the emergence of new areas of activity and installations, the energy of new interests is still sexy by origin, but is implemented in significant

25.06.2007

Psychosexual development is one of the aspects of individual mental development, in the course of which sexual self-consciousness are formed, a gender role and a psychosexual orientation of a person. It begins with the first months of life and completely ends to 20-25 years of individual entry in the period of mature sexuality (the beginning of a regular sex life with a regular partner).

In fact, already in the prenatal period (from the moment of conception before birth) and sex
differentiation of gonad, genitals, as well as brain structures responsible for sexual behavior, aggressiveness, maternal instinct, etc. Disorders of sexual differentiation of the brain structures can occur if various in the critical period of pregnancy (7-32 weeks of intrauterine life) Pathogenic factors (stress in a pregnant woman, impaired uterine-placental blood circulation, receiving a woman of drugs such as glucocorticoids, anabolic steroids, progestin, reserpine, etc.). Even in the late 60s of the last century, it was found that the girls who were born in mothers, who were prevented to prevent the miscarriage, differed in high intelligence, were liked in physical development to boys, they played war, fought independence and self-confidence. Growing, such girls often become senior workers, they have a weakly pronounced Maternal instinct, they show aggressiveness, uncompromising and controversialness in the family. It is also known that the boys born in the blockade Leningrad, on the contrary, were distinguished by softness, clarity, homemake, loved to play dolls, which are associated with the feminizing influence of stress on male fruit. Thus, the prevention of violations of psychosexual development should begin even before the birth of a child, so the pregnant mother needs to create conditions that exclude harmful effects on the fetus.

Russian Russian sexologists Vasilchenko, V.M. Maslov and I.L. Batnet (1983, 1990) allocate three stages of psychosexual development.

Psychosexual human development

The first and second phases and stages of the third stage are characterized by a certain phase, which is one of the patterns of psychosexual development. In the first phase (installation of installation), information is accumulated and processed: at the I and II stages - on the existence of floors, about the sexual role, on the III stage - about the features of sexual behavior, its external manifestations and entities.

The first phase can be considered complete only in the presence of internal readiness for the implementation of formed trends. In the second phase (learning and consolidation of the installation in game situations, i.e., "in practice", the determination of sexuality (I stage) and sexual behavior (stage II) occurs, and at the turn of sexual entry.

In the process of learning, the installation developed in the first phase is tested. Social isolation, primarily depriving communication with peers, leads to distortion of sexual behavior, disorders of realization of attraction not only in person, but also in animals.

Stage I. Formation of sexual self-consciousness, i.e., the awareness of its own affiliation to one or another sex (1-4 years) occurs under the influence of the micro-social medium, but largely determined by the sexual differentiation of the brain in the intrauterine period. At this stage, the consciousness of the sexuality of themselves and other people are formed, confidence in its irreversibility, after which any attempts to change sexual self-consciousness are unsuccessful.

Summary: Poland. Sexual enlightenment. Intimate upbringing. Psychosexual development of children. POLD DIFFERENCIATION OF CHILDREN

If you ask parents, they carry out sex education in the family, not everyone can answer the question. And what does "publishing" mean? Let's try to understand these and other issues that are worried about parents raising children of three to five years.

Junior preschool age - the period of active manifestation of the curiosity of the child. It is interesting to the child: animals and plants, what was created by the hands of a person, and, of course, the person himself is and as a biological being, and as a representative of a certain gender, and as a subject that comes into a variety of relations with other people.

Your need for curious child satisfies differently. Every day he makes discoveries that allow him to feel its significance (of course, if it has an external reinforcement in the form of support or adult praise). He asks questions to which he himself is trying to answer, but if it does not work - it turns to those who - and the baby is confident in it - certainly knows the answer.

At the age of three to five years, the child absorbs the model of behavior of "as a mother" or "as dad" depending on whether the girl or boy is. In this regard, he also has many questions requiring permission.

Parents are very often not ready for "Caverzn" (and for children - vital!) Issues. And then their curiosity to the opposite sex, the manner, the desire to marry mom in boys and marry the dad - in girls, who, to the horror moms and dad, is sometimes accompanied by the desire to get rid of an incomplete parent.

Indeed, before adults there is a difficult task: to satisfy children's curiosity and at the same time not to injure a very varying children's psyche.

Talking with a child for sexual topics - a huge responsibility, especially if there is no confidence as parental knowledge.

It happens, it comes to extremes: either parents, considering the "innocence of the child" ideal, even hide hints on the sexy differences of people, or under the pretext: "My man will grow up - let everything knows" - they bring up too frankly.

What is understood by the sexuality of an adult? First of all - sexual attraction, awareness of belonging to your sex, erotic dreams and caress, etc. Is it possible to detect in children from three to five years? Should adults tactfully educate or, on the contrary, muffle these adult "manifestations" of sexuality in them?

We know perfectly well that a real man is not always high and externally courageous. And femininity is not limited to the outlines of the body. There is a concept of sexual consciousness, which determines sexual behavior.

We will try, remembering how we themselves are growing up and what questions they have arisen from us, together to pass the age of primary sex identification, responding to his questions.

How the sexual consciousness is formed

The tendency to mix women's and male role-playing functions, as in the whole world, is rooted in modern Russia. Women water cars, skirts and dresses prefer pants, smoke. Men enjoy spirits and deodorants and wear decorations. There are not so many signs speaking of human sexuality. The length of the hair, the manner of behavior, the circle of interests and the nature of classes ... Such a similarity between men and women is confused in children when the "mineless" person is classified as a certain sex. Children often do not see clearly distinguishable images that could fit, so they remain on the nate to choose suitable behaviors and images.

The value of educating the traditional sense of belonging to the male or female sex and the fulfillment by children of the corresponding roles from the earliest is indisputable. Exclude sexual orientation from the child's life - it means even more to destroy his feeling of gender.

The formation of female and male pollarol functions occurs with the help of coding by the parents themselves of certain differences: a male or female name (Vanya or Masha), differences in clothes (trousers, shirts - dresses, bows), awareness of their proximity for any signs with mom - a woman or dad - a man. Charging to perform one or another work on the house, we encode and appropriate behavior (cleaning, guidance of cleanliness - the repair of household appliances), and toys (dolls and sets of dishes - girls, soldiers, weapons - boys come to the rescue.

We do not think that you need to panic, feeling the desire of your girls to play the role of mischievous boys, just as you should not demand from the boys, so that they behave themselves just like real men, not allowing them to cry or be in marshy sentimental. There is nothing terrible (even on the contrary!) In that the boy washed the dishes or helped cooking dinner, and the girl helped Pope tinkering with the computer. Still, parents should tactfully help their children correctly determine their traditional sexual role.

The pre-school childhood period begins with the moment of aware of himself a member of the human society (two or three years) and lasts until the moment of systematic learning at school (up to six to seven years). Here, the decisive role is not for the calendar period of development, but for the social factors of personality formation.

For children aged three to five years, it is primarily characterized by the need for adults to meet the main vital needs (in love and care, spiritual, cognitive needs, etc.).

In the process of mental and sexual development of the child, the formation of his personality occurs. Thanks to its own activities on the development of reality mediated by his relationship with adults, the child acquires social experience. At the same time, he is experiencing one of the most important contradictions: the need to live the life of adults, to occupy a certain position in the life of society, on the one hand, and the ever-increasing need for independence is on the other.

The sexuality of a person takes several stages in its development. The generalized ideas about sexuality are built on the conviction that sexual attraction and sexual instincts are not awakened unexpectedly at the age of puberty (twelve - seventeen years old), and ripen gradually.

By flexibly changing with the adulthood of children, changing one form of expression to another, sexual instincts are converted into adult sexuality, distinguished by a harmonious and complex state and a combination of feelings that complement each other, amplify and balance. Sexuality, feeling belonging to a certain semi inherent on personality.

Children often recognize a man or a woman in their room into them and only then mother, dad, teacher, etc. The most pronounced physiological, emotional, social and cultural phenomena form our sexuality in early and late childhood, and not in adulthood age .

The norm in sexology is the concept of difficult. The children's age under the "norm" does not fall, that is, to highlight the boundaries of the norm in the psychosexual development of a small child is not easy.

Sexuality in early and late childhood Before Sigmund Freud was covered quite poorly, so the real shock for adults was not the fact that children with age are sexual activity, but the fact that it is essential and an integral part of the formation of the nature of any child (and not only " Furiously educated "children, as previously thought).

The psychosexual development of children under consideration by the age of Freud determines as infantile sexuality. Consider some of its manifestations.

1. Oral stage, or sucking, already appears in the baby. It consists in the rhythmically repeated sucking touch of the mouth, and the purpose of eating is excluded. Part of the lips themselves, language, any other skin place that can be obtained, selected for sucking. Sucking for the most part absorbs all the attention of the kid and ends with a dream.

2. Anal stage, or manifestation of the zone of the rear pass. The erogenous meaning of this part of the body is large, and the pleasure of the defecation process under the toddler is a scientifically established fact.

3. Genital, or urogenital, stage - Getting pleasure from urination act. Due to the anatomical position, irritation of the discharge, washing and wiping during hygienic care, random excitation, the feeling of pleasure that can give these parts of the body is inevitably drawn to the child's attention already in infancy. (We note that this division is still quite conditionally.)

So, nature seems to tell the child in which direction to make research and ask questions. Interest in genital organs, pleasure from urination and defecation act, etc. For a child of three to five years, no more than a desire to balance (as in all other cases) its idea of \u200b\u200bthe subject or phenomenon and representation of others, and above all authoritative adults . And here there is a paradox: what the child gives pleasure is unacceptable from the point of view of adults.

It happens, the child gets up in a dilemma: to suppress curiosity or, ignoring the ban of adults, to go to the pleasure of secret. Of course, these are extreme options. More often, the baby aimed at finding the harmony of its existence in the surrounding world, still trying to find an answer to the exciting question anyway. Of course, much here depends on the position of the parents. How do they answer the questions of the baby: tactfully and exhaustively or with the installation on the indecent sudden son or daughter? Well, if moms and dads manage to find a golden middle, that is, to satisfy the children's curiosity and the informative need of a child - of course, in accordance with his age. And it is bad if a sharply negative adult response is added to unsatisfied curiosity to the themes marked by the child and the child remains one on one with his questions.

Let us try to understand the essence of children's issues that are so important in the formation of the sexual identification of the child, and in the most acceptable ways to satisfy the kid's curiosity.

Questions that put in a dead end

In many modern young families, there are practically no forbidden topics. Any "What?", "Where?" and why?" Parents are trying to explain with the age of a small child. But there is a question in front of which most parents leave, realizing his inevitability at the same time: "Where do children come from?".

Many of us can clearly remember how intensively in the period preceding puberty, they were interested in the question where children are taken from. Anatomical resolution of the issue was different: children "appear from the chest", or "they are cut out of the belly", or "the navel opens to release them." Children "get from what they eat" (as in fairy tales), they are "born through the intestines" etc.

For example, when A. turned four years old, he had a sister. Interesting the fact that adults did not particularly try to explain in detail that it came across a completely natural response search. In those years, it was decided by itself: because in the early 1960s, reports of newly open children's combines (Nasli-Sadik) were very often transferred on Radio (Nasli-Sadik), to figure out that it was places for "doing children", for a child of his age was It is logical. His guappy A. shared with his mother, who did not dissuade him, but praised for the intelligence.

Every day, thousands of parents make attempts to tell the children about the appearance of bees, birds, cows, ducks, puppies, kittens, etc. When it comes to the appearance of children, many suddenly remember that they are not sure about the knowledge of medical and anatomical terms, and begin To paint the items from which even the medical center would be confused.

Children submract this information from Debreys of Science and ... come up with the various versions of their appearance on the light. It is possible however, that some children, not satisfied with the answers of adults, continue to persist in clarifications.

The most effective tool in the development of the child is the truthful information corresponding to its age requests. If we understand what the child wants to know what exactly wants to know, we will be able to give the right answer to the questions you are interested in. The most interesting thing in communicating with children is that you can read them a scientifically verified lecture on childbearing and even hear almost literal retelling, and a day to understand that your efforts disappeared for nothing.

As soon as the children learn something truthful from adults about childbearing, the story immediately receives his own interpretation.

When B. turned three years old, then to the question, whether she wanted to find out how he was born, her father received complete consent. Taking a family album, showed a photo of mom before childbirth and after, providing the entire show with relevant explanations. The same story a little later B. Already, with the help of photos, I handed to my grandmother. "Exam" handed down! But on two weeks: "Pope, moms before. And I was always!" (By the way, many children are confident that there are always.)

S. M. Martynov: "No matter how a crevive question for you, it is necessary to respond to it that the child has not been created (and if it is already there, it collapsed) the idea that he touched some kind of forbidden area. It is difficult for a specific answer scheme - it all depends on the situation in which the question was asked, from how it is formulated, even from the facial expression: after all, you can always see if the child really knows nothing or knows something and wants to experience you. In all cases, information should be truthful - of course, the child is presented with that part of the truth and in such a form, which it can be available to him. German researchers who participated in the development of the program of sex education of children, consider the three principles of information for preschoolers: truthfulness, Clarity and matching age. "

Another child fantasy on the subject of the appearance of a four-year-old girl's mouth: "In order for the child to grow in the tummy, you must first put a few eyes there, then head and hair. This is done with the material that is sold in the store. Finally mom and dad collected a child , put it in the tummy, where he then appears quickly. " Nothing like this child did not speak. She connected to one answer the information at the moment, and, using children's logic, created her picture of the surrounding world.

Please note: the child, building its own conclusions, or interpreting heard from adults, adapts them to their level of development and understanding. And therefore, answering the questions of children, mothers and dads, first of all, it is not necessary to focus on the detail of information, but for its availability to understanding the three-, four- or five-year-old child!

Children's understanding of the emergence of children from the answers of children of different ages can be distributed into several levels. The differences between any neighboring levels determine the difference between educational problems solved by parents.

First level Conditionally let's call "geographical". The child believes that before his "acquisition" was somewhere: "In the children's world," "in the tummy", "in different places", etc. At the first level, children believe that all people around people already existed. It is characteristic of age three or four years. Where and how the child grew to birth is higher than children's understanding. A child who has formed such a conviction, can not imagine the world without him.

Second level - "Production of children." At this level, children believe that children are made in the same way as refrigerators, televisions or cars make. Now children are already knowing that they did not exist before, but they should have been done. Here is an approximate argument of a four-year-old girl. "When people are already made, they make other people. They make bones and blood, and skin ... to be in my mother's tummy, they must be wrapped in a bag, and his mother will put it." On the question of where the children were before they were wrapped in a bag, the answer sounded: "They are bought in the store." Children are not confused by the fact that there were not seen factories for the production of children or shelves in supermarkets, which would lay bags with children. Castled by surprise provocative issues, they tell what they once said, or what they themselves are. Since at this level, children believe in the magic and the activities of other people, then children, in their understanding, appear either by magic or as other subjects.

Some children at this level already understand the need for a father in childbirth, but they believe that it is still a mechanical process: "He pulls out his hand from his tummy and puts him in the bottom of the mother's tummy, and his mother gets an egg out of his tummy and puts on This handful of seed. Then they close their tumids, and the child is born. " Children believe that seeds and eggs can be connected only when they are connected by the hands of parents.

Third level - "Transition". In four to five years, children represent childbearing as a process of merge physiology and technology and confident that this is in principle possible. At this level, the children know that mom and dad cannot open and close their tumors, in their presentation is impossible without marriage. Already quite literary children can explain the participation of parents in conception as "seeding seed": "Dad sows seeds like a flower, just here does not need Earth." Children at this level believe that the world of nature is alive, and speaking about animated and inanimate objects, attribute to them the purposefulness in the actions.

On the "transitional" level, children may know that there are three necessary conditions for the appearance of children: social relations - love and marriage, sexual connection and merging of the sperm with an egg. But an attempt to explain all this and combine very superficial.

How to talk with children about confusion?

Never overflow the child with information, but say that he wants to know, and those with the words he understands. Children's curiosity should be satisfied with the most complete explanations. Start with counter questions specifying the eyes of a child, but not telling him answers: how do people come from people? How do moms become moms? How do dads become dads?

S. M. Martynov: "It is not necessary for children's questions. Interest in these problems in a child, as a rule, does not yet have sexual color, but only the manifestation of general curiosity. And the tact of adults depends whether the information received is perceived as something natural Or they will acquire a color of something shameful, forbidden, and therefore, in a special way. "

Children are ready to accept explanations by the terms standing at the step above their level. If parents are calm and realistic to this interest, the children feel that they can ask about everything that they want to know. Never make a child feel stupid only because it fantasies childbirth. Support children's efforts to resolve these problems can only confirm or specifying information.

For example, if children believe that they have ever existed, let the concepts from the second level, saying: "Other people can appear only. To appear, you need two adults people - a man and a woman who will become his dad and mom. Mom and dad will make a baby from the egg, which is in the mother's body, and from the seed, which is in the father's body. "

Children of the second level, who believe that they are doing somewhere, parents can say: "This is an interesting look at things. This way you can make a doll for which you can buy my head, hair and everything else and connect them together. But the manufacture of real living, living The child is very different from the manufacture of non-living items - dolls, pie or aircraft. "

The child must understand that if things are made from different parts - details in the factory, then children are made from parts that can be taken only in the organisms of mother and father. You can continue like this: "Moms and dads have special organs in their bodies, which they use for the manufacture of children. Mom has small eggs, and the dad has small seeds-spermatozoa. When the mummy eggs merges with dad spermatozal, they are becoming a new creature. growing in a child. "

As you can see, there is nothing complicated and even more so unnatural in a conversation with children on the topic of childbearing. But this topic, children's curiosity is not limited. The child's research interest goes beyond his questions and conclusions.

"The Forbidden fruit?

The exciting topic for the appearance of the world also contains interest in the opposite sex children, which can be seen at the age of four or five years, although the erotic start here is represented in a slightly different, children's form. Sometimes we observe such actions as hugs and kisses, and in rare cases - the mutual viewing of the genital organs. The last sometimes shocks parents, and they think about the vicious inclinations of children. Although most often such interest is due to the interest in the structure of a person at all.

In the emergence of a sense of sympathy, the appearance plays a major role. A small child turns out to be capable, although in its own way, distinguish with an attractive and unattractive appearance. But whether the share of eroticism is hiding behind it, it's hard to say. It is only possible to assume that in this sense of sympathy only a little breaks the manifestation of instinct. Most likely, a positive response to external attractiveness is a much more general property. Any adult can remember a thousand examples when he just liked anyone's face of the opposite sex - without any sexual aspirations.

Actions of small children, externally resembling erotic: hugs, affection, touching, stroking, kisses - are essentially imitative. A boy of four or five years old, approaching a pretty girl playing in the sandbox, welcomes her words: "Pupa you are mine." It turns out that so his dad turns to mom. Baby, imitating adults, apparently, have fun, exactly the same as at any other game. Therefore, it is not easy to see in their games only sexual.

As for the viewing of the genital organs or touching them, there is a common children's curiosity, supplemented by the first interest in the differences in the floors. There is nothing reprehensible in such research actions. However, one important detail deserves attention. Namely: whether the child performs the mentioned actions, without fear of the censure from adults, or acts secret and, being caught "at the scene of the crime," is experiencing fear and embarrassment. It is important to catch the initial attitude of the child before he has encountered adult responses.

Cleat most often where? In the secluded corners of parks or playgrounds, in children's toilets where three or four children of both sexes are going. Many parents, like educators, react to similar "studies" with rapid indignation, up to the punishment of the belt, and the baby, naturally, fears to repeat its actions, which is fixed in the complex of inferiority. Well, if he did not scold him, but he still tries to act secret? In this case, the child somehow realized that there is an area, the knowledge of which is best to hide from the parents.

The very fact of the appearance of such a "terrible" double secret in the life of a child ("adults hide from me, and I have to hide that I guess about it") means the appearance of the first crack in the sexual education of the child. In the future, such mutual secretion will further aggravate the initial vague ideas about sexual as something shameful and unworthy.

Of course, not necessarily the first collisions with the field of sexuality occur in preschool age. Not necessarily that this topic will be perceived by a child as a forbidden.

Where can I talk out loud? Yes, of course, on the street, in the place of the so-called emotional socialization. However, the impact of the street should not always be regarded as negative. In the peer environment and during independent meetings with the phenomena of adult culture (sexually colored abnormative vocabulary, having a sexy direction of the picture, the marriage behavior of animals, etc.), the child gets wider and versatile information about the field, men and women's relationships than It can get at home, and more freely "encounters" them on themselves, producing their own estimates, positions and preferences.

Sometimes the only enlighteners in sexual matters are courtyard friends and girlfriends. When there are no authoritative adults and children are provided to themselves, many are discussed in companies, including "Forbidden", questions.

Finding more aware in your company, ready to teach and demonstrate some manipulations of peers, children easily perceive minor and distorted information. The situation complicates the union of older and very small children. A small child is the most gracious material for street "enlightenment", if the families do not think about these issues.

If all families were correctly brought up children, the street problems would be softer - the behavior of children in companies would be more predictable. The danger lies in the fact that the street plays on emotions - from here and a strong educational effect. And it's bad, she is not always raising and not because she is "street", but because in the street, children take out what they did not have learned (or what they did not comprehend) in the family.

And once again about the role of adults

To the emotional instability of the child, interfering with communicating, forming normal relations in children's society and with adults. This, in turn, can provoke pathological relief, shyness, noncommunicability, either, on the contrary, aggressiveness, inadequacy of reactions, constant over-trustness, that is, aggressive childhood factors as a mental and moral plan.

At five years, the interest in the anatomical differences in the sexes often disappears, by changing the questions about the childhood of parents and the expression of the desire to have a brother or sister and their children, when he grows.

If a child is aware of the differences in people on the floor to three years, but does not give them decisive importance, then by the five to six years the same child has already confidently identifies itself with the floor, realizing the irreversibility of the gender. At this age, psychologically "remake" the floor is almost impossible.

"Mom, I'm marrying you!" Such words at least once said every normally developing boy. The phenomenon of primary sexual identification allows the four-five-year-old boy to feel like a man. However, the named feeling arises only if the mother for him is a real woman, that is, if it demonstrates the so-called female behavior. The same thing happens between daughter and father. Such relations are productive only at this age. Some elements of the delight of the opposite sex and sample search are admissible in adolescence. But the prolonged search, the orientation on the parent of the opposite sex as a sample in choosing a sexual partner is dangerous.

Children's curiosity should satisfy calmly. For this purpose, open toilets for kids in groups of children's institutions, joint washing of children of one sex. You should teach children to treat nude without fear and prejudice, to answer all the questions of the child using the necessary examples from books and life.

It is impossible to definitely prohibit or encourage the joint exposure of parents and children or dictate to the measure of exposure. It depends on the cultural traditions of society and family, but, on the conclusion of many specialists, the shame of nakedness in an early childhood in adulthood may interfere with sexual relations.

Without hosting children to expulsion, it must be remembered that for many random observations of a naked brother or sister - the main source of training in sexual differences. Sharing brother and sisters are more often stopped immediately after five to six years.

The coldness of the parents, their employment, by their own business, other children and the misunderstanding of the child's experiences lead to the fact that he feels superfluous and unnecessary. Such son or daughters do not have the need for imitation, acquiring skills and father's habits or mother. They are worse than other children assimilate samples of sexual roles and turn out to be less prepared for life. In addition, they are absorbed by the methods that they repeat when upbringing their own children.

A similar situation is developing in the case when the family turns out to be incomplete. The lack of the father's teacher adversely affects the psychosexual development of not only the Son, but also daughters. If the boy at the same time will not be adopted by male sexual role from whom, then the girl will not be able to learn the ideal of the opposite sex, she will not see the feminine behavior of the mother of his wife in relation to her husband. The lack of the mother's family not only makes it difficult to form an example of femininity, but can also prevent the acquisition of emotional warmth necessary in human relationships.

An extremely adverse effect has a distortion of normal samples of men's behavior: father-drunkard, a rowdy and a scandalist, raising his hand to his wife and children, brings more harm than the father who has gone from the family. The boys often reject together with the negative actions of the Father and the positive manifestations of His masculinity - either, on the contrary, seek to resemble the father in everything without exception. Daughters, brought up in such conditions, or for many years, then incapable of establishing normal, without fear and hatred, relationships with men, or consider the man of alcohol and rudeness with an indispensable sign - delicate, tactful and non-smoking, non-smoking man in their representation just "Baba" . Similar processes in the psyche of the child occur in the amoral behavior of the mother.

The appearance in the father's father or stepmother often causes additional emotional tension in a child who has already survived the disintegration of the family. If there is no good relationship between the child and the new family member of the family, it leads to resistance to any educational measures, the rejection of the observed behavior samples and accelerates the care of children from the family to any persons showing sincere or squeezed location.

Are there rules for which parents need to be focused (including the reception)? Yes, exist. So, should not be too soft and compliant or overly strict towards the child of its sex. What does this lead to? The child ceases to imitate and learn from his parent. Expressions: "When I grow up, I will become like a dad" or "I, like a mother, put my daughters (dolls) to sleep" - they will not please the parents, they just do not hear such words.

Unusually timid boys in four to five years can be embarrassed at the sight of a naked father. They should not be persistently forced to nude together with adults or peers - this can lead to too exciting experiences.

The following rule of behavior lies in the fact that the parent of the opposite sex should not be too gentle, or, on the contrary, often punishing, or emotionally unstable. How otherwise, the child can trust the persons of the opposite sex? Today it is often possible to hear that someone has an overly powerful mother and a soft father. If, growing, the boys become soft, obedient, with women's features, it means that the mother, raising his son, made him like that. The girl who received male education becomes often a stale, non-implicit. Sometimes incorrect education based on the presentation that everything associated with the floor is erased, leads to constant monitoring of the child, up to the selection of friends or isolation from peers. All this is fraught with the development or narcissism - the directional of sexual attraction on itself, or homosexuality, one of its forms. Affectionate boys-Tikhoni are bait for adult degradors.

If parents perceive the child's behavior as a prosperous, "Pap-Mom" games continue in school years, expanding and enriching the experience of sexual behavior.

As we can see, not only biological properties, data from birth, but also parent education and their own experience are important for the assimilation and consolidate normal heterosexuality.

The imitation power to people whom children adore is well known. The sample of the first models of behavior are parents. Later, children deliberately copy their favorite heroes, educators who liked people. It turns out that the identity of the child and his views are made up of imitation to other people: they fold their own unique mosaic. The floor is a very important basis around which all skills and imitation are fasten.

An inquisitive five-year-old child solves many difficult tasks every day. It is often unclear where healthy self-expression ends and disobedience begins. Now that the mother is no longer the main daytime nanny children, the issues of education began to more interest fathers, nannies, relatives, educators, etc. It is important to recognize that in the family all relationships are interdependent. Probably the most important thing is that children teach their parents no less than parents of children. In other words, children are far from passive clay lumps and significantly affect their own upbringing.

The assimilation of the male or female sexual role is an important vitality for a child, not passing without "some trouble there." All that people do or say people for self-discharge is a sign of a boy or a girl, a man or a woman.

A sexual role is not congenital quality, but self-affirmation coming with experience and communication receiving "unscheduled lessons" and accurate instructions. In other words, the sexual role is learned as a native language. And although the critical period may occur both in one and a half, and in three or four years, polishet learning begins with birth.

Today there was a new look at the preschool age, which was previously considered the time of the "hidden period" when sexual development seems to stop. But is it? From three to five years, the children's horizon is significantly expanding due to information and new buddies. By four years, the child's intellect is 50 percent of the adult state. Behind the expression "from zero to seven" is usually hidden not only age, quantitative, but also a qualitative meaning. During this period, a child from "no one" becomes "someone" - a person in general, a boy or a girl with his abilities, inclinations, individual traits of behavior.

It makes sense to mention the crisis of three years - the period of the formation of his own Ya. Parents probably familiar with the bright signs: stubbornness, negativism, lossiness, peculiarity, protest behavior, despotism or jealousy. In addition, still not mastered the concepts of "good - bad", "beautiful - ugly", etc., which help the child to navigate in the surrounding world and draw up the correct opinion about what is happening. But after such a detailed acquaintance with the above information it is worth understanding that these negative features reflect not the desire of a child to insist on their own, and the understanding of what he demanded. Satisfy the need for one's own significance helps playing different roles. A child can fulfill without special stressful experiences any role - even the role of its own parents. And this is very important, especially since the intelligent game prepares children to adult life.

games-For-kids.ru. Regularly engaged in the preschooler on the methods proposed here, you can easily prepare a child for school. On this site you will find games and exercises for the development of thinking, speech, memory, attention, learning reading and account. Be sure to visit the Special Section of the Site Preparation for the Game School. Let us give examples of some tasks:

We consider it expedient to first dwell on the principal issues of terminology, which cannot be considered ordered.

When describing the sexual socialization of a person, the concepts of "sex" and "sexy" are used. The terms "floor", "sex" (in foreign literature in this sense, the terms "genus", "generic") reflect any properties (biological, psychological, social, etc.) associated with belonging to the male or female floor. The terms "Sexuality", "sexual" describe only those properties and relationships that relate to the genital-erotic sphere (sexual attraction, sexual experiences, sexual behavior, etc.), that is, all that is associated with the instinctive need for the continuation of the kind .

Other major categories of sexual socialization are sexual self-consciousness (sexual identity, sexual autoathentification) and sexual behavior. By definition, J. Money (1972), sexual identity is a conscious affiliation of an individual to a certain sex, and sexual behavior is a public expression of sexual identity, corresponding to the regulations adopted in society and providing an individual to a certain sex in the eyes of others.

The above definitions of the main categories of sexual socialization of the individual are divided not by all experts, which is partly due to the widespread use of the concepts of "sexual", "sexy", "polish behavior" not only in medicine (genetics, embryology, sexology, psychiatry), but also in general and social psychology, anthropology, ethnography. Go to the presentation of the main stages of psychosexual development.

Psychosexual development is one of the components of a very complex system of determination of a person in general. The main stages of the process of the formation of a person are represented by G. S. Vasilchenko (1977) in the scheme according to which the primary level of the formation of the floor system is chromosomal (genetic) floor of the body, which is formed when the egg fertilization and determined by the karyotype. The genetic floor determines the formation of a gonadal (true) floor identified by the histological structure of the genital glands. Under the influence of hormones produced by gonads (hormonal floor), differentiation of internal reproductive organs (internal morphological floor) and external genitalia (outer morphological floor) occurs, on the basis of which, at the birth of a child, they define an obstetric (ascriptive, i.e. ascribed) floor. These are the main stages of the prenatal formation of the floor of a person. In the postnatal period, mainly in Pubertate, gonads under the control of the hypothalamic-pituitary system begin to intensively produce the appropriate sex hormones - this is a vertical hormonal floor, under the influence of adolescents, secondary sexual signs appear.

It should be noted that even quite normal biological development, including pre- and postnatal periods, in itself does not make a man with a boy or a girl, a man or a woman in a socio-psychological and personal sense. Biological characteristics must be supplemented with a psychological floor, which includes sexual identification, stereotypes of sexual behavior and psychosexual orientations. Let's follow the main stages of this process.

Almost all the ontogenetic characteristics of the individual are not just age, but sexually age, but the very first category in which the child comprehends his own "me", is sexuality [Kon I. S., 1981].

According to most researchers, the primary sexual identification (knowledge of its sexuality) is folded by 3 years and serves as the most stable, stem element of self-consciousness. According to G. Gesell (1930), most children 2 1/4 years can not correctly attribute themselves to one or another floor, while at 3 years 2/3 children do it right. However, it is difficult to catch the exact time of sex identity, as the only way to determine is the child's answer to such a seemingly simple question: "Who are you a boy or a girl?". Naturally, the time defined in this way, the formation of sexual identification affects the overall intellectual development of the child, often depending on the set of factors, including social. Under the change of sex during the first year of life, the child requires disadproduction of only parents, and a similar procedure for a child older than 1,1/4 years is an extremely complex task, not rarely impossible. In this regard, some authors conclude on the formation of sex identification to 1 1/2 years.

With age, the concept of sexual identity, persistent in its essence, varies in volume and content. So, 3-year-old children know how already noted, their gender, but still do not know how to justify this attribution. By 4 years, the child clearly distinguishes the floor of the children around him, although it will associate him with external, often random signs. Children 3-4 years old allow the principal possibility of changing the floor, although to the question: "Who do you want to be a boy or a girl?" Most children are 3-4 years old that they want to stay in their field. This suggests that in 3-4 years, sexual autiathentification is complemented by such an important concept as polisher preference. It is noteworthy that on all age-related stages of human development, the preference of their sexual role is more pronounced in boys.

In 6-7 years, most children finally realize the irreversibility (constancy) of their sexuality. This moment becomes one of the main stages of the formation of sexual autiathentity. It should be noted that throughout the period of the formation of sexual self-consciousness, a child in games and in questioning adults or peers accumulates enough knowledge about the structure of genitals from representatives of its and the opposite sex, confusion mechanisms, etc. Apparently, these knowledge is necessary for the formation of sexual Identification, so at the age of 2-5 years the interest of children to their genitals increases. According to R. Sears et al. (1965), half of the children of this age manipulate genitals. At the age of 4-5 years, the game is very frequent with stripping, studying genitals (games in "Papo Mama", "Doctors"), which are essentially a study (affordable child in a manner) of sexual differences.

By the time of the realization of the irreversibility of the sexuality, 61% of girls and 52% of boys have enough detailed information about the difference in the structure of male and female genitals [Isaev D. N., 1984]. The ideas about childbearing, including the generic act, have about 30% of children at this age, and every 5th boy and every 10th girl take into account the role of the Father in this process.

It should also be noted that the formation of the irreversibility of the sexuality coincides with the rapid strengthening of sexual differentiation of activities and installations: boys and girls on their own initiative choose different games and relevant partners, which manifests unequal interests, behavior style, etc. [Kon I. with ., 1981]. This natural sexual segregation contributes to crystallization and awareness of sexual differences.

One of the most important periods of the formation of a person's sexual socialization is Pubertat when such a component of psychosexual development is developing as psychosexual orientations. Although Pubertat is largely determined by hormonal factors, sexually erotic experiences and related behavior (masturbation, genital games, sexual experimentation) and emotional-romantic attachments and love are largely autonomously, heterochronically and in various ratios from different people [con and . S., 1978]. The content of sexual interests and erotic fantasies of adolescents is largely determined by their children's experiences and cultural samples.

These are the main stages of the formation of sexual self-consciousness, stereotypes of sexual behavior and psychosexual orientations.

The entire process of formation of the floor as a whole can be divided into two periods.

In the first period, the occurrence of chromosomal floor (with the fertilization of the egg) to the formation of gentle gear, there are genetically rigidly programmed mechanisms, leading to a sequential, strictly fixed in time and irreversible change of the same phases of the floor differentiation. The basis of this biological process is embryohydogenesis, described in a number of special publications [wheels D. V., Selverova N. B., 1978; VUNDER P. A., 1980, and others].

The second period covers events from the moment of birth of a child before the formation of an irreversible sexual auto-content, i.e., a conscious attribution to the individual himself to the male or female sex. The ideas about determinizing mechanisms underlying this period of sexual ontogenesis, over the past 20-25 years have undergone significant changes. It was earlier that in the process of forming sexual identity, the main role belongs to biogenetic and hormonal mechanisms acting although not so harsh (the process is not only biological, but also biosocial), as in the prenatal period, but still quite strongly. However, in the late 50s, the study of sexual autiathentity of persons with hermaphroditism was essentially embarrassed by this point of view. In people with the same diagnosis of hermaphroditism, but with a differently defined floor and as a result of this, with different floors of education, sex identity and sexual behavior are formed according to the "semi of education, and not a genetic floor.

In addition, in a series of intercultural studies, it was shown that the structure of sexual differences is universal for all mankind. In some ethnic communities; The structure of sexual self-consciousness was built, often contrary to all biological fundamentals in our understanding. As a result, the importance of biological factors in the genesis of psychosexual development was generally denied in the science of the floor differentiation and the main role was assigned to the factors of socio-psychological order. An early judgment on this occasted an American sexologist D. Mani (1965), who liked the psychosexual development of the formation of the language: "Genetic, innate and other factors predetermine only the possibility of developing and differentiation of the language, but will not be predetermined whether this language will be English, Arabic Or any other. In the same way in the psychossexual sphere, genetic and other congenital factors predetermine only the very possibility of differentiation of sexual roles and sexual autiadentification, but it is not directly predetermined whether the direction of this differentiation is men's or female. " However, such an approach reflected emotions rather with the breakdown of the well-established worldview than a strict scientific analysis. Soon the majority of researchers, including D. Mani (1969), refused to oppose innate factors acquired, biological (psychological, genetic) - media and thereby recognized their inseparable dialectical unity.

Currently, psychosexual development is considered as a complex biosocial process in which the genetic program and the field-provided sexualization is manifested in continuous unity, refracted in the self-consciousness of the individual.

Special studies are focused on biological factors in psychosexual development: morphism in the structure of some divisions of the CNS, regulating the functioning of the genital glands and some parties of sexual behavior, due to their different sensitivity to the so-called puberty hormones, genital appearance, etc. [wheels D. V. , Selverova N. B., 1978; Vunder P. A., 1980].

Significantly less (especially in literature on clinical disciplines) covered the participation of psychological factors in the psychosexual development of children and adolescents and the main mechanisms of this impact. Meanwhile, the correct assessment of these mechanisms, as already noted, is necessary for therapeutic and preventive and pedagogical measures in terms of preventing psychosexual development anomalies. These anomalies are usually laid in children's and adolescence.

The process of psychological differentiation of sex is not sufficiently studied. Currently, the psychological mechanisms of sexual identification and development of sexual roles in ontogenesis are most actively discussed in the framework of theories of identification, social learning and cognitive-genetic theory.

The theory of identification, leaving the roots in psychoanalysis, especially allocates the role of emotions and imitation of the genesis of psychosexual differentiation, believing that the child unimportantly imitates the behavior of representatives of its sex, first of all the parent. According to this theory, the child spontaneously and without direct reinforcement (remuneration) absorbs not discrete acts of behavior, but a complex integrated sample, a model of sexual behavior. An important factor in identifying is an intimate emotional connection between the child and parents; The attention of adults to a child, care for him is facilitated by the normal course of this process.

The theory of social learning (sexuality) arising from behaviorism argues that human behavior, including sexual, is formed mainly due to positive or negative reinforcements from the external environment. According to this theory, parents or other adults encourage boys for the behavior, which in this society it is customary to be a boyish (masculine), and condemn them when they behave "feminine"; Girls, on the contrary, receive a positive reinforcement for feminin behavior and negative - for masculin. In this regard, children prefer to behave according to the model of their sex, as they are more rewarded for it and criticize less. It has been established that boys prefer a typical behavior for their sex and reject the atypical, and girls, also preferring a typical behavior for their sex, do not reject the behavior atypical. In particular, the boys describe the "male" behavior in a negative form ("to be a boy, you can not cry, do not play in the dolls" etc.), i.e., how do not come, and girls define a sample of their behavior in Positive concepts talking about what to do. In the process of sexual typing, the individual first learns to distinguish between the behavior of people of different sex, and then begins to follow them himself. Supporters of the theory of social science believe that parents begin to "train" a child immediately after birth, long before the child himself will be able to observe and distinguish between samples of behavior. A large role in this process is given by choosing the name, differences in clothing, sets of toys - all this clearly indicates the child himself and others around him. In the study of sexual printing mechanisms, many interesting data were obtained, which have a certain value not only to prove this theory, but also for education as a whole. In particular, it was noted that from the first day of life, the newborn parents behave unequal with children of different sexes. So, during the first months, the mother is more often in physical contact with sons, but they talk more with girls more. Approximately after the 6th month, mothers increase physical contact with girls, and boys they begin to teach from physical contact, which contributes to greater independence of sons. Interestingly, immediately after birth, parents perceive girls as softer, pretty, more similar to mother, boys seem more joyful, active.

From the point of view of the cognitive-genetic theory (self-integrability theory), the first stage in the process of psychosexual differentiation is the self-determination of the child as a boy or a girl. After cognitive self-determination - primary sexual identification - the child positively evaluates those things, actions, forms of behavior and actions that are associated with the role of a girl or a boy. As a result of this, the behavior typical for this sex causes positive feelings in it, thanks to which self-affirmation takes [Kolominsky Ya. L., Mertsas M. X., 1985]. Psychosexual development by self-sectorization includes 3 processes :: The child learns that there are two sexes; It includes itself in one of two categories; Based on self-determination, the child leads its polishet behavior. In the cognitive genetic theory, such an important, in our opinion, is emphasized that, with age, the volume and content of the primary sex identification of the child changes according to the change in the basic forms of the cognitive organization of the child. The change in the content of sexual identity includes assimilation by the child of sexual identity, the opening of the invariance of sex in time and, finally, the formation of the understanding of the constancy (irreversibility) of the floor. The lack of communication with peers, especially in pre-sufficient and adolescence, may noticeably disrupt this side of psychosexual development, leaving the child unprepared towards very difficult experiences of the pubertal period.

Secondly, it is necessary to affect the psychology of differences related to the floor. Many researchers are trying to find out what is in a strictly scientific plan (in contrast to the walking opinions and stereotypes of the mass consciousness) Psychological differences between the floors, which signs of masculinity and femininity are universally biological, and which are vaccinated during sexual socialization.

Studies related to the peculiarities of perception, trainee, memory, intelligence, motivation, temperament, level of activity, self-consciousness, cognitive style, emotionality, etc. firmly established facts turned out to be significantly less than representations. We can assume that girls are superior to boys in verbal abilities, and boys are stronger in visual-spatial performances, they have higher mathematical abilities and they are more aggressive. Reports about differences between the floors in tactile sensitivity, predisposition to fear and anxiety, in the level of general activity, competitiveness, dominance, suggestibility, subordinates require further verification. It is also not proved that boys are better than girls cope with more complex cognitive processes, mastering which implies previously learned reactions that their cognitive style is more analytic ..,