Turkish wedding. Wedding traditions of Anatolia. Turkish wedding step by step
Turkey is a country in which the rich traditions of various regions of this country are mixed. Each region of Turkey is a kind of small country with its own unique dishes, rituals and manner of speaking. Let's get acquainted with the Turkish wedding according to the traditions of the Antalya region.
Bride's choice.
Choosing a good bride for your son is not an easy task. First, the search begins among cousins. This tradition has its roots in antiquity and is called "preferred marriage". If among the "preferred" environment there were no suitable girls, then the search continues among the closest acquaintances and friends from one's own or neighboring villages. All relatives and neighbors actively select candidates for the bride. When the groom's family believes that enough girls have already been viewed, the selected candidates are ranked according to their highest preference. When evaluating brides, first of all, the family is taken into account, and secondly, the beauty and complaisant nature of the girl. But in recent times, the material well-being of the family has come to the fore more and more.
The family of the chosen girl asks for time to discuss and make a decision. At this time, neither "yes" nor "no" is given, and information about the groom's family is collected through friends and acquaintances.
Preparing for a Turkish wedding.
After this period, the bride's side gives an answer. If the answer is yes, then both families meet for negotiations. During the negotiations, according to an old Turkish tradition, as a sign of the sweet start of a family journey, sherbet is drunk. (fruit drink based on water and sugar).Only men gather for the final decision. As the first step towards family life, young people give each other a "word". At the “word” ceremony, it is customary to give expensive gifts and drink lemonade. The first person to snatch a glass of lemonade from the bride's hands and bring it to the groom receives a cash reward.
After the “word” ceremony, the bride brings some of her belongings to the groom’s house, and the groom’s family sends various dresses, clothes and jewelry to the bride as a gift.
Betrothal.
The next step on the road to marriage is engagement. Depending on the agreement of the families, the betrothal ceremony can be either solemn, with a large number of guests, or modest, in a narrow family circle. If guests are invited to the engagement, then, according to tradition, they give the bride money or jewelry. The bride's family keeps a strict record of the guests and the value of their gifts. If there will be a wedding in the guest's family in the future, then the return gift should be of no less value so as not to put the family in a difficult situation.
After the engagement in the bride's house, preparations for the wedding are in full swing. In the Anatolian territory of Turkey (especially in the region of Antalya)the expenses for the wedding belong to the bride's side: all things for the new house are purchased by the girl's family. The groom can also participate in the preparation of the wedding, but his costs are minimal. In the old days, the day of sending the bride's dowry to the groom's house was the most fun day before the wedding: music and songs accompanied the wagon with things.
Henna night.
On the day before the wedding, a henna night is arranged, at which only girls or women are present - the girlfriends of the bride and groom. The tradition of using natural henna for makeup dates back to the time of the Prophet Muhammad, who recommended that women and men use this natural dye to change hair color and paint over gray hair. Henna has also been used for skin rejuvenation and in the fight against acne. Even in our time, this tradition has not lost its relevance, although it has taken on the character of fun, in contrast to its original meaning.
Originally, henna night is the last night a girl spends at her mother's house, a night of tears and farewell to her family.Everything you need for the wires (henna, sweets) is sent by the groom's side. The bride wears a red cape on her head that covers her face.Happy married woman on copper traystirs henna. To attract prosperity to the future family, small money is added to henna. A chair for the bride is placed in the middle of the room. Around this chair several times the girls go round in a round dance in the following sequence: the bride, behind her is a girl carrying a tray of henna decorated with candles, and then the rest of the guests holding lighted candles in their hands. Bypassing the chair, the girls sing Turkish folk songs. Then the bride sits on a chair, and her friends walk around her and sing sad songs to make her cry. The fact is that according to traditional concepts, a girl should be chaste in her thoughts and not really strive to get married. Therefore, if the bride did not cry, then gossip will go about her.
When they want to put a ball of henna in the bride's hand, she should not immediately open her palms. Guests from the groom's side with the words "The bride does not open her hands" put gold coins in the girl's palms. Recently, in addition to gold, they can put the key to an apartment or car. Then henna with candles is distributed to all guests. According to the sign, the girl who got a coin in henna will be the next to get married. The celebration continues until late at night.
A Turkish wedding usually has a lot of guests. When compiling the list of invitees, even distant acquaintances whom they have not seen for several years are remembered. A modest, small Turkish wedding usually has 200-250 people. Due to the large number of guests, most weddings take place without food. Instead of dishes, there are nuts, pastries and soft drinks on the tables. During the slow dance of the bride and groom, male relatives on both sides sprinkle the heads of the young with small banknotes, and the guests give gold coins or envelopes with money.The next day, the wedding can continue, but already in a narrow family circle.
Turkey is a colorful country. That is why the Turkish wedding is considered a rich and magnificent identity with centuries-old traditions. But, no matter how hard the people try to preserve the old customs, European culture is increasingly visible among the national foundations.
How is a modern Turkish wedding held? What rituals and traditions precede it? Here are some interesting facts about the celebration:
Choice of rite
Increasingly, free marriages happen in Turkey, when a couple gets to know each other on their own. But still, the old customs have a place to be.
So, parents betroth their babies, who, after reaching a certain age, are obliged to get married. This ceremony is called "beshik-kertme". If one of the young refused to marry, the case often ended in murder. Therefore, this tradition is rarely used.
A more common rite is when the sister of a deceased wife is married to her widower husband. And vice versa: the brother of the deceased marries his daughter-in-law.
No less shocking for us is the custom called “taigeldi”. In this case, two divorced or widowed people get engaged, and their children are also required to marry among themselves.
In poor areas, the bride was often stolen, especially if the groom could not get the consent of relatives.
If a girl stays in a guy's house, then she is already considered his wife. Such an action is called “gyz gachyrtma”.
Search for a bride
Choosing a good bride for a young family is not an easy task. We started by visiting our cousins. If a suitable bride was not found, then they switched to the daughters of a close circle, friends or girls from a neighboring village.
When all suitable ladies are selected, among them it is necessary to choose the most worthy. At the same time, the well-being of her family, character and appearance are assessed.
Dowry
This is sacred for every girl. Since childhood, mothers begin to put aside towels, clothes, and kitchen utensils for their daughters. True, civilization does not stand still. Therefore, ready-made chests are already sold in online stores.
This rite is not just a tick in the list of customs. After the wedding, the husband's parents always come to visit the young and discuss what the daughter-in-law came to the house with.
Matchmaking
The whole family of the groom goes to visit the bride. They always take flowers, sweets and a silver tray with them. The latter becomes a family heirloom.
When the bride's parents agree to the marriage, negotiations begin. Over the sherbet, the older men of the families discuss the details and come to a common agreement.
The business of the groom is to prove his readiness to create a family. To do this, he must drink salty coffee and not wince.
Ceremony "word"
After making a decision, the couple gives each other a word - this symbolizes a joint step towards family life.
During the ceremony, expensive gifts are presented to the young, and all the guests drink lemonade. Whoever gives the groom a glass of lemonade first will receive a cash prize.
After the celebration, the groom's relatives are required to send the bride gifts, beautiful clothes and accessories. At the same time, the bride is transporting her belongings to the house of her future husband.
betrothal
Traditionally, the betrothal takes place in the house of the future wife. While the groom's family pays for the wedding expenses, it is customary here to give the bride expensive gifts, money, jewelry.
Interestingly, relatives keep accurate records of gifts. The fact is that if one of the guests invites them to the wedding, they must donate the same amount, otherwise shame cannot be avoided.
Henna night
This is an oriental bachelorette party, which was previously held at home. But today more and more often the organization is trusted by professionals.
During the farewell to girlhood, girls paint themselves with henna, and the bride must cry loudly and clench her fists. You can unclench your palm when the mother-in-law brings her a gold coin. After that, the girl's hands are covered with henna.
Pre-wedding shopping
Another interesting event. The bride's family takes the groom, and the groom's family takes the bride. The company goes shopping, buying everything they need and don't need. These are clothes, cosmetics, jewelry and even underwear for the future wife.
The groom, among other things, must buy an expensive watch so that it ticks all his life.
Latest preparations
On the eve of the Turkish wedding, the bride and her bridesmaids visit the hammam. There they wash and have fun, sing songs.
The girls also go to the hairdresser together, where the groom pays for all the procedures.
A man also chooses a dress for his wife. Usually, a closed outfit is selected for a Muslim woman, and a more revealing outfit for a Christian.
Wedding
In Turkey, it is customary to hold magnificent and rich weddings. Many guests are invited to the celebration. The list includes close and distant relatives, friends and even acquaintances whom the family has not seen for a long time.
By Turkish standards, a modest celebration includes 250 people. But it is not customary to feed guests. Pastries, nuts and drinks are traditionally served.
During the wedding dance, the young are showered with banknotes by male relatives. The rest of the guests present gifts, and it is customary to give the bride separately gold bracelets. Interestingly, the gold belongs only to her, and not to a young family.
Final rites
When young people come home after the wedding, they break a glass on the threshold to avoid quarrels in family life. Oil is also applied to the door frame to keep the relationship smooth and happy. And to attract prosperity, bread is broken over the heads of the bride and groom.
Here are the general traditions of Turkish weddings. Of course, conditions may vary depending on the region of the country. It is also important what customs the young families adhere to.
A Turkish wedding is a beautiful and amazing spectacle that has absorbed the best traditions of European and Asian culture. Turkey is a Muslim country, but European culture takes a leading place here. Nevertheless, the national spirit and Western trends are in perfect harmony with each other, turning into an amazing wedding celebration.
In addition to the main type of marriage, there are three more types of marriage in Turkey. The first of these allows a younger unmarried brother to marry the widow of his older blood brother. The second type of Turkish marriage allows relatives to marry. The third type is a double wedding, when the groom's sister marries the bride's brother.
Marriage in Turkey can only be performed when the spouses reach a certain age. The suitable age for marriage is from 28 to 30 years old, it is recommended to get married from 17 to 23 years old.
How to negotiate a wedding
In Turkey, modern and traditional forging a relationship coexist perfectly. In big cities, young people independently agree on marriage, after which they notify their parents of their decision. When they bless the union, preparations for the wedding begin.
In small Turkish villages, it is still customary to use the services of matchmakers. They are invited to the bride's house by the groom's relatives. Matchmakers consider a potential bride, and if they like her, they report the guy's intention to marry her. In both cases, an engagement is scheduled in Turkey, after which the celebration of the marriage itself follows.
The pre-wedding period is very interesting for its rites and rituals. The wedding celebration begins with the purchase by the groom of jewelry for his future wife. Gifts must be rich and valuable, and the groom also pays for the bride's wedding dress and purchases gifts for her mother. Offerings fall on the day of the engagement, when the newlyweds are betrothed. On this day, wedding rings are put on their fingers, which are connected by a red thread. She is not circumcised until the wedding vows are pronounced by the young. After that, the real celebration begins, which can drag on for several weeks.
The Turkish engagement and the wedding itself can have quite a long gap in time. Sometimes, after getting engaged, young people live together for several years without getting married in order to get to know each other better. Preparing for a wedding ceremony in Turkey also does not go quickly and can last almost three months.
wedding ceremonies
Perhaps the most amazing ritual in the Turkish wedding ceremony is the Henna Night. It takes place a couple of days before the wedding. At this time, the feet and backs of the hands of the girl are painted with henna. This wedding ceremony in Turkey is highly revered and originates from ancient times. It takes place in a special room where only females are allowed.
A candle is lit in the center of the room and a plate with diluted henna powder is placed next to it and covered with a scarlet scarf. Such a ceremony is a symbol of the girl's farewell to her youth and her stepfather's house, so tears of joy and sadness are heard here, as well as Turkish wedding songs. The bride wears a velvet dress embroidered with gold threads. After the dyeing procedure, she puts red gloves on her hands and sits down at the table with her relatives. Occasionally, the palms of the young are decorated with mehendi painting, which is preserved until the wedding celebration.
The cost of the wedding falls entirely on the shoulders of the groom, and the feast itself begins on Tuesday or Thursday and lasts for several days. Relatives send out invitations, and the mother collects the dowry of the Turkish bride.
The wedding day begins with a prayer, after which all those invited gather in the groom's house, and the Wedding Banner is raised. The last attribute is a sign to start the celebration. Then everyone goes for the bride, but the groom does not have the right to participate in this procession, he arrives separately. The young woman is girded with a "girdle of virginity" and is not allowed out of the house until the groom ransoms her. After that, the young go to the groom's house. On the way, the young can arrange all sorts of intrigues. The most popular of them is to throw a lamb with tied legs in her way. The girl needs to cope with it on her own, thereby showing that she is strong enough to run the household. But this custom was preserved only in villages remote from Turkish cities.
On the threshold of a new home, the mother-in-law meets the young people and at this time gifts are presented for the Turkish newlyweds for the wedding. In some regions of Turkey, a rather unusual tradition of the first meeting of the mother-in-law and the bride has been preserved. To get into the house, the bride had to crawl between her mother-in-law's legs, which is a symbol of humility and obedience.
Then the groom, together with his friends, goes to shave, get a haircut and go to the bathhouse, and then takes the finished wedding suit. Then everyone gathers for evening prayer, holds the marriage ceremony and begins the feast. When the first day of the wedding ends, the young retire to the marriage room. Turkish wedding rites are closely associated with the innocence and purity of the bride. She must be a virgin, otherwise the groom's relatives can return her back to her parents.
wedding celebrations
Many people are interested in how weddings are held in Turkey. This is a delightful action filled with unrestrained dance rhythm. The modern celebration lasts two days with a variety of rituals. But, perhaps, the most striking in the Turkish wedding ceremony can be called a dance. Music consists only of the sound of a pipe and a drum roll.
The traditions of Turkish wedding dances are such that dances take place all two days, both in the groom's house and in the bride's house. It's a lot of fun, as the folk music and energy of the Turks is contagious.
On the first day, all the festivities take place on the street, so up to five thousand people can gather here. There is no big feast on this day, guests are offered some snacks and soft drinks. The question of what to wear for a Turkish wedding is not acute for guests, since on the first day everyone dances and has fun in a relaxed atmosphere on the street. At the beginning of the celebration, the bride and groom also do not dress smartly.
On the second day, as a rule, the parents of the newlyweds book a salon where they invite a smaller number of guests and treat them with all the hospitality. Guests dress beautifully here, and wedding clothes in Turkey for newlyweds take on an expensive and luxurious look. Modern Turkish women rarely dress in national costumes. As in European countries, it is also customary to get married in a white fluffy dress. Grooms most often come to the wedding in classic suits with a fashionable cut.
In most cases, Turkish wedding omens and the wedding itself have lost their originality. The country has become Europeanized, and modern wedding trends have relegated national traditions to the background. But everything is also fun and noisy at Turkish weddings, the girls are still modest and shy, and the men are energetic and proud. This is especially noticeable in their dances, which do not stop throughout all the days of the wedding.
Now, under the influence of Western traditions, the attitude to customs in modern cities of Turkey has become a little easier. In the villages, everything is still strict and orderly. For example, to imagine that the bride and groom will live until the wedding and even before the betrothal is unthinkable. "Ayıp!"("Indecent!"). There are also options when the choice for a girl or a young man is made by parents, based on their own motives. Calculation is a completely ordinary thing, and love is a thing that will come with time. Familiar story? After all, in Russia all this was also. But unlike modern Russia, in Turkey, many traditions and ceremonies are still an integral part of the wedding scenario. And rarely will anyone go against the family to break these rules.
Bride and matchmaking
It all starts with a show, or, as they say in Turkey, “kyz bakma”. Usually, familiar gossips can look after the future bride in advance and draw the attention of the groom, who still does not suspect anything. Usually, the average Turk is more concerned with how to earn money for the maintenance of a future wife than with finding this very wife. In addition, do not forget that in the same villages and even small towns it is not so easy for young people to get to know each other and spend time together so as not to cause rumors and gossip of neighbors. So sometimes the bride is the only opportunity for a potential couple to see each other a little closer, but without fail - under the supervision of relatives. Usually the groom comes accompanied by several women from his family. Although in the old days it happened that relatives coped with this task on their own, assessing whether the girl was suitable or not.
The Turks are arranged in such a way that it is extremely inconvenient for them to say “no” directly, to offend other people, especially the whole family. Therefore, everything goes so that in case of refusal, no one remains offended. We drank tea and coffee, exchanged civil courtesies, ate sweets - and dispersed. But if the intentions become more serious, then the second action comes - “Matchmaking”, "çöpcatanlık"(“Chopchatanlyk”), where all the terms of the “agreement” are already discussed in detail, if the parties come to an agreement.
Smotriny is not particularly obligatory to anything. And if the wedding is a decided matter, such a “first meeting” can be, to some extent, only a ritual and is combined with matchmaking. Then not only women, but also men are already connected. The bride must, of course, show herself in all her glory. And this applies not only to the appearance. In advance, she prepares homemade baklava. And I must say, preparing a real baklava, rolling it into the thinnest sheets of dough, making the filling correctly is a real art. Of course, experienced relatives can also connect here, but still it is supposed that the girl copes with this test herself.
Usually guests come to the bride's house and sit down in a spacious living room. In any Turkish house, there are certainly small matryoshka tables that are placed near the guests. They can put coffee, tea and sweets. Of course, no alcohol, food, except for sweets, is also usually not provided for at this meeting.
The bride serves the guests, brings tea and coffee to everyone, always starting with the older guests. The groom can also be tested - for him, the bride can add salt to coffee. Previously, this could serve as a silent symbol of refusal to go down the aisle, but now it has often become a test of the feelings and endurance of the groom. If he drinks without grimacing, it means that for the sake of this girl he will be able to endure a lot and is ready to marry.
Everyone can conduct abstract small talk for a long time, and only then move on to more specific discussions of the details of the wedding.
It just seems that matchmaking is a relic of the past. In fact, this meeting is of great practical importance. Families can agree on how, where, and most importantly, at whose expense to hold a wedding, who to invite, where the young people will live, what gifts they can give. Taking into account the fact that a Turkish, even quite “modest”, wedding can have several hundred guests, families have something to discuss. In addition, in addition to the wedding in Turkey, it is also customary to massively and widely celebrate the engagement. Earlier, of course, the “kalym” for the bride was also actively discussed. In some villages and regions, this has been preserved, but now it can be replaced by another custom - “mother's right”. For the daughter brought up by her, the mother is presented with a gift - a certain amount of money.
When all the agreements are determined and the blessing of the parents is received, the groom gives the girl a ring and a small handkerchief, beautifully embroidered with gold or silver. Parental permission is still taken very seriously in Turkey. Even if the groom is 40 years old and he is a successful and independent businessman, for example, from Istanbul, if his family is against marriage with this particular girl, in 90% of cases he will obey their will. Because the family is sacred for any Turk, all customs and traditions are built around this, and it is rare for anyone to make themselves enemies of their own parents for the sake of a girl they like. This is hard to believe, but even now there are cases when a father may not talk to his son for several years, because, against the will of his parents, he married an “unapproved” girl.
Engagement
"Nishan"(“nişan”) is a Turkish engagement, this is already a serious step and a different level of responsibility. Of course, not every engagement ends with a wedding, especially in Turkey two months or two years can pass between these two events. During this time, of course, a lot can change. Although this is usually the time that the future family needs to arrange their life, it is possible to choose a future home, to make repairs.
It can be seen that Turks rarely get married too early, as we do in Russia. And most often the reason is material status. In Turkey, which largely lives according to Muslim traditions, it is customary for a man to provide for his family without fail so that his wife does not have to work. And a Turkish man is well aware that it is unlikely that any Turkish woman will agree to a “paradise in a hut”, believing in the prospects of a young man who, in the distant and vague future, can suddenly get rich. Moreover, her father would hardly believe it.
Healthy reckoning? Maybe. But there is some wisdom in this, which helps to avoid conflicts in the future, at least on this topic. Obviously, a man who is firmly on his feet is more ready for marriage and for taking responsibility for his future wife.
The engagement is, in fact, the public recognition of the groom in his intention to marry this particular girl. The girl's status changes to "nishanly"(“betrothed”), and in the eyes of the public, especially other single men, it is almost as serious as “evli” (“evli”, “married”). This status has a very practical meaning. As you know, even now in Turkey it is still considered indecent if a girl lives with a man before marriage. Yes, virginity is also treated reverently and scrupulously here, so everything is easily explained. But even if the families are aware of all the intimate relationships of the couple, they are unlikely to be left, for example, to spend the night in the same room. "Ayıp!". And in ancient times it was indecent even just to be alone.
The status of "nishanly" simplifies all this and allows the couple to more openly express their feelings, if desired and possible, even live together. Although usually before the wedding, the engaged bride still continues to live with her parents.
How is engagement celebrated in Turkey? Of course, it all depends on the possibilities and desires. Someone arranges a small romantic evening in a restaurant, others invite close relatives home, someone rents entire salons or hotels to invite half the city. In this case, it may resemble a wedding rehearsal. Invitations are also sent out in advance, the bride dresses up in a beautiful dress, guests bring gifts - usually gold and money. Often, the engagement is organized and paid for by the bride's relatives, and the wedding is organized by the groom's side.
Everything passes very decorously and ceremoniously, without wide festivities, songs, dances and feasts. On the tables can usually be sweets, nuts, tea, coffee. Sometimes, of course, an engagement can turn into a buffet in some fashionable hotel, but not everyone can afford such a holiday. If the families are traditional, Muslim, then most likely, women will sit separately from men.
A typical engagement looks like a couple's official public announcement that they decide to get married. The words are sealed with a little ritual.
Rings tied with a red ribbon appear on a silver tray. In such a bound form, the bride and groom put each other's rings on the ring finger of their right hand. It is better if the girl's ring is decorated with cubic zirkonia or a diamond. This is also a clear indicator of the financial status of the groom.
After that, the oldest and most respected person from those present says congratulations to the couple and cuts the ribbon in two places. This shred will be kept by a young family. The rest of the ribbon is cut into small pieces, given to unmarried girls so that they can also quickly and happily get married.
After that, at first the couple is congratulated by parents and relatives, then by the guests. If the date has already been determined, then at the engagement they announce when and where the wedding will take place.
Henna night
Before the wedding in Turkey, one of the most interesting and spectacular ceremonies is arranged for the bride - "Henna Night", or "Kyna Gedzhesi"("kina gecesi"). To some extent, this is a bachelorette party in an oriental way, only with a deeper meaning.
In the old days, on Tuesday, the bride went to the hammam, a Turkish bath, and on Wednesday evening, “Henna Night” was waiting for her, which symbolized parting with her stepfather's house. For many girls, then it was a sad evening, because a complete unknown lay ahead, they could, at best, see the groom once, without imagining what kind of person he was and what kind of life she would have with him. The brides cried quite sincerely, and the choir of friends joined them.
True, even now girls often can’t stop crying, under the influence of music and a slightly mysterious atmosphere, which is skillfully supported by more experienced women who organize this evening.
The dress of the bride - "bindalli" (bindalli) deserves special attention on Henna Nights. This is a luxurious, richly embroidered dress, most often red or burgundy, made of expensive fabrics. Depending on the traditions of the region, the dress may include certain patterns and ornaments. Often such a dress becomes a family heirloom and is inherited.
The bride's face is hidden by a red veil adorned with sequins and beads. It turns out that the bride can see everything that is happening around, but others cannot see the bride. It is in this form that the bride appears in front of the assembled guests, sometimes there may be candles in her hands. The girls begin to sing folk songs, with candles in their hands they move in a circle, bypassing the guests.
The future mother-in-law becomes one of the main characters of the evening. In front of the bride, she rolls out a roll of silk fabric as a gift, along which the girl walks, approaching the groom's mother. Sometimes this may be their first close encounter. At this time, the guests shower the girl with coins - as a symbol of fertility and prosperity. Coming closer, the bride bowed respectfully to her mother-in-law, kissed her hand and then put it to her forehead. This is how they usually greet and express respect for their elders in Turkey.
The bride is seated in the most honorable place in the center of the hall, it can be a beautiful chair, like a throne, or huge pillows. Any girl can feel like a real oriental princess from the fairy tale "1001 Nights".
After that, guests are brought out trays with sweets, tea and coffee so that the holiday does not go dry. It can be fruits, nuts, cakes, traditional Turkish sweets like Turkish delight and baklava.
And at this time, the main rite of the evening is played out. The girls continue to sing sad songs, to which the bride under her red veil mourns. The mother-in-law approaches the girl and asks her to open her palms. According to the rules of the “game”, the bride opens her palms only when the mother-in-law and other relatives of the groom are ready to put gold coins on her palms or put on gold bracelets. Immediately, dry henna with burning candles is brought into the hall on a tray. This symbolizes a kindled heart, in which, like a fire, love for a future husband was kindled. Indeed, before the girl could not have any feelings for the groom at all, and it was believed that this rite helps to melt the girl's heart.
The palms and feet of the girl were painted with henna. This is a whole art called "mehendi", which originates either in ancient India or in ancient Egypt. This tradition was successfully adopted by the Turks, preserving from generation to generation.
The “artist” was to be not only the most skilled woman, but also the one who was still happily married and whose parents were still alive. It was she who began to conjure over the bride, slowly diluting henna with water, bringing out interesting ornaments and patterns. Among the ornate drawing, it was necessary to "hide" the groom's initials. A peculiar surprise and another test. If the groom could not find the first letters of his name, then he was obliged to give the bride a good gift. As a compensation. After the dyeing ritual is completed, red mittens are put on the girl's hands so as not to spoil the pattern. The main action of the Henna Night is over. The bachelorette party continues with songs, sweets and conversations, and sometimes it can drag on until late at night.
Now, of course, the art of "mehendi" can be simplified to the usual coloring of the fingertips, palms and feet without any frills. But, to be honest, the real "mehendi" looks bewitching and beautiful. But at the same time, the use of henna also has a sacred meaning. Since ancient times, henna has been considered not only a natural coloring agent, but also a cure for many diseases, a talisman, a symbol of good luck and prosperity. By the way, henna was also applied to the palms of a young man who was leaving for the army in order to protect him from death.
During Henna Night, unmarried friends could also apply henna on their hands, taking advantage of the moment, believing that this would also help them get married. Sometimes small elegant bags of henna are prepared for guests as a gift - take them home as a keepsake.
Henna night in Turkey is still an important part of wedding rituals, although in modern cities and families it can be held in more free formats. For example, a separate room can be rented for a holiday, the presence of the groom and his friends is quite acceptable and desirable, although this erases the original meaning of this exclusively female ceremony. For many, this is just another reason to have fun, and not be sad about their single youth and father's house, brightening up the fun with champagne and cocktails. But in any case, the red veil and henna remain indispensable attributes of this Turkish tradition, which is rooted far into the past.
Turkish wedding
Of course, as in any country, the scenario of a wedding in Turkey may differ depending on the region and the well-being of the couple. But if we turn to the average Turkish wedding somewhere on the coast, then everything happens as follows.
They usually try to schedule an official ceremony in the late afternoon so that all the guests who can work during the day can gather. The most popular days are Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Although sometimes the ceremony can take place during the day, and the festivities in the restaurant - in the evening. In addition, there are two types of marriage registration in Turkey - secular and religious. Religious is held in the mosque with all the rigor of Islamic traditions. After the bride and groom perform namaz, pray, the imam conducts a small ceremony, without any magnificent rites.
Secular marriage registration can take place both in an official institution, the Turkish registry office, and on the road, for example, in a restaurant. The ceremony itself is called nikah(“Nikah”), and the wedding itself - dugun("duyun").
The morning is spent in preparation. The bride is doing makeup, hair, dressing up in a dress. The eldest man in the family, if the girl is still innocent, ties a red belt on her to demonstrate this in front of other people.
The groom takes the bride along with friends either from her home or from a beauty salon. This is how their first meeting takes place. True, in some regions the groom cannot pick up the bride himself, for the first time they should see each other that day at an official ceremony.
The wedding procession is usually accompanied by noisy music, cars are decorated in advance. The sounds of zurna, davul and drums are an indispensable attribute of a traditional Turkish wedding. The bride and groom continue their journey together.
Then it all depends on the scenario of the wedding. Often, young people go straight for registration - to a mosque, registry office or restaurant. Long outdoor photo shoots in Turkey are not so popular. Here you will not see wedding receptions right on the street with champagne and sandwiches. The whole program takes place in the evening.
The assembled guests enthusiastically welcome the appearance of the couple. Often by this time it is already dark and the groom appears arm in arm with the bride under the fireworks gushing along their path. By this time, the wedding venue is already filled with gift flower wreaths on legs. They can be sent by those who could not get to the wedding. The names and names of companies are usually indicated on the ribbons.
A presidium has already been prepared for the bride and groom in the hall or on the open area. Usually this is at least a long table decorated with flowers, and chairs with high backs, like a throne. The guests are seated at the tables. In most cases, food is not provided, the maximum is snacks like nuts, chips and soft drinks, such as cola, which is so beloved by the Turks. True, there are also luxurious Turkish weddings, even for several hundred guests, with dinner and alcohol. For such a holiday, a restaurant or a hotel can be rented entirely, however, not everyone can afford this. In the villages, too, they can walk hearty and wide. The food may be simple and uncomplicated, but there will be enough food for everyone who wants to come and congratulate. Sweets, in particular Turkish honey baklava, are usually also an indispensable attribute of a wedding.
The ceremony does not last long, but it is quite solemn. An employee of the Turkish registry office puts on a red robe, pronounces the necessary words, asks for consent from both parties in the presence of two witnesses, and, having heard the cherished "Evet!"(“Yes!”) declares her husband and wife, issuing a beautiful official certificate.
The exchange of rings is treated more calmly, it is more important to do this during the engagement. Kissing is also restrained and chaste, and during a traditional Turkish wedding, it would never occur to anyone that the bride and groom kiss openly in public.
After that, the parents congratulate the couple, music and dances begin, which now last until night. The holiday program can rarely please with variety. An ensemble performing live Turkish folk music is usually the focus of the holiday. Sometimes dancing dervishes are invited to closed Muslim weddings, and belly dances are ordered to more “modern” weddings. There is no toastmaster in the usual sense. Often one of the musicians can take on this role.
Only at the end of the holiday it is customary to give gifts - all the guests are looking forward to this moment, because congratulations, when 400, 500, 1000 people come to the wedding, can take a long time.
Sometimes, to speed up the process, the couple themselves bypass all the guests with a special basket or box where you can put gold and money. But often a couple, standing in a place of honor, each with a red or white ribbon thrown over his neck, personally accepts congratulations and gifts from each guest. Gold and banknotes in this case are fastened with pins to ribbons. This is also one of the typical Turkish rituals.
At the end, the bride throws her wedding bouquet, which is caught by one of the unmarried friends. According to international beliefs, it is her wedding that will be next.
The wedding ends with a cake, which, now husband and wife, solemnly cut or pretend to cut if the cake is not real, but plastic, which is not uncommon at Turkish weddings.
The couple leaves the wedding, for them the first wedding night comes, which for many couples in Turkey really becomes the first.
If you look at Turkish, Eastern and European weddings, you will see a lot of similarities. Turkish people are very fond of taking some traditions from European countries, but at the same time they do not forget their own. Turks are always accustomed to having a lot of fun at their wedding, dancing, laughter and golden gifts. Such fun they have most of all can be seen only at the wedding.
A Turkish wedding is mostly held on the street, tables are arranged in rows near the pool. The bride must wear a white dress tied with a red sash (in honor of her innocence).
The biggest problem at a wedding is the arrangement of tables, that is, who will sit where, and who will sit next to the bride and groom. The place for a Turkish wedding is decorated with beautiful wreaths. A Turkish wedding is an open celebration, anyone can come to it. On the tables of a Turkish wedding, there are only cakes and sodas. And sometimes, the second and salads are served on the tables. Some people drink the national drink, called rake, which is diluted with water. That's why after the wedding, all the guests go home in their cars. For many Turkish people, this is not an event where you can eat deliciously, but one where you can have fun, that is, dance and give gifts.
Engagement in Turkey
As we know, Turkey is a European country that submits to Islam. And therefore, in every family, honesty comes first. When a young guy and a young girl begin to love each other, they immediately appoint the day of the engagement.
An engagement in Turkey is appointed immediately after meeting, since a lot of time can pass before the wedding. The Turkish engagement is called nishan, which is also celebrated very cheerfully. A lot of guests are invited to it, young people put rings on each other and the girl is already becoming a bride. And after that, a dowry is prepared for her.
Dowry of a Turkish bride
A dowry in Turkey is not at all forty camels or a flock of sheep. There, the most valuable dowry is considered property. And of course, you can’t get off with a whole stack of pillowcases and duvet covers in Turkey.
According to the tradition of Turkey, the groom and his family must buy an apartment for his future wife, a dress, and also give her beautiful bracelets made of pure gold. It depends on the wealth of the groom's family how much gold jewelry he will give to the bride. But even if the family lives in poverty, the groom must still give the bride at least one gold bracelet so as not to disgrace himself.
After the engagement, the girl with her sisters, aunts and girlfriends goes to the market to buy different things for her future home, because the warmth and comfort of the home depends on her. But the girl cannot choose Turkish wedding dresses, as the groom will do it. She must show each item she buys to all her friends so that they can appreciate it. But towels, different rags with embroidery should help her choose the most dear people.
After the bride buys everything, these things will be taken to a new apartment. And after the wedding, the newlyweds will begin their lives in a new beautiful apartment, in which everything will stand in its place.
Also, before the wedding, the groom must choose a wedding dress for the bride. If the bride is a Christian, she may opt for a short wedding dress. And if she is a Muslim, then she needs a long wedding dress that covers the whole body. A lot of dresses for Muslim women can be found similar to Western dresses. Turkish wedding dresses are sewn with different embroideries, flowers, beads and beautiful lace. Also, the outfits come with a veil, which is worn over a headdress that covers all the bride's hair. Previously, wedding dresses were sewn only in one color, and now, in our time, experienced designers from Turkey have come up with the idea of sewing Turkish wedding dresses in different colors and with multi-colored embroidery.
A few days before the Turkish wedding, a henna night is held, during which the bride is looked after. On this night only women gather. At the same time, the future wife should be dressed in a purple velvet outfit. Henna diluted with water is placed on a candlestick and the sich is lit. Then a plate of henna is carried over the head of the bride, who is covered with a pink scarf. On this night, the bridesmaids sing songs and cry, as she will no longer spend nights at home.
Also, henna is applied to the bride's hands, as a sign that she lives happily with her husband. And then they put red gloves on her and everyone sits down at the table. This holiday lasts until the morning and at the same time the young woman should be constantly with her friends. Very often, the bride's hands are painted with beautiful patterns, because this will decorate the bride even more at the wedding. Turkish wedding starts only at 8 pm. Newlyweds do not need to go to the registry office to sign, the registry office worker himself comes to them and paints them.
Wedding Gifts for Turkish Newlyweds
At a Turkish wedding, only gold jewelry is given to the young. Gift giving is the most solemn moment. All guests personally approach the newlyweds, congratulate them on this happy day, wish them well-being and hang a small gold medal on the bride's dress. And so at the end of this moment, the body of the bride begins to shine like a star, and she herself looks like a veteran order bearer. And the most interesting thing is that all this gold is intended only for the wife, and if the young people get divorced, then she will be able to take everything for herself.
Turkish wedding dance traditions
When the gifts have all been presented, the young ones come out to the middle and perform their traditional dance. And after their dance, the rest of the guests can dance. At a Turkish wedding, dancing is very good, the oldest people. Old Turkish women dance very beautifully, they tap their heels so well, as if they are beating the rhythm of an oriental dance. They seem to be resting for the last evening, because they know that soon they will be babysitting their grandchildren and they will not have more free time.
And after the end of the wedding evening, as in Russian celebrations, young people are given beautiful “bumps”, but only at Turkish weddings, these bumps are made more beautiful, in the form of a shell with white candies.