How to reconcile with your wife after a strong resentment. How to reconcile with your wife if it has already come to a divorce

02.07.2019

Respect is the foundation of a happy marriage. Help your wife with household chores. Let her know that you are worried about her, that you want to be her support even in household chores.

compliments

They make it clear to a woman that she is loved. Any compliment is the basis for a positive and pleasant atmosphere. Nice words give a woman self-confidence. In any compliment you need to invest positive emotions.

Talk

Dialogue with your wife is the best helper in reconciliation. Try to communicate with your spouse as much as possible. Ask about her opinion about various events, objects, actions. The lack of common themes is the main ground for quarrels and lack of understanding. Make time to spend with your wife. Firstly, your wife will understand that she can share her thoughts with you, and secondly, you will be able to develop tactics for further behavior.

Presents

It's always hard to come home after a fight. The wife is cold. She may even go to sleep in another room. Dinner passes in deathly silence. Try to anticipate this state of affairs. Surprise the woman you love. Before leaving for work, leave flowers on her pillow or send a cake with a messenger to her at work. Such signs of attention will not leave your wife indifferent and will have a positive result.

romantic letter

It is not always possible to express your feelings looking into the eyes. It is much easier to put them on paper, so write that you are sorry about what happened, that you love her very much and want to make peace. This will be your first step towards reconciliation. Of course, you should not fall at your feet, just apologizing is enough.

An unexpected date

The most effective way on the way to reconciliation. Your premarital romantic relationship immediately comes to mind. You have the ability to win your wife over again if you act like you did on the first date. Treat like a queen. Try to remember how everything was for you the first time. Good memories always make you feel better and help you forgive.

Usually, the reasons for the quarrel are not so important. Following our advice, it will be easier for you to achieve forgiveness. Remember, women never follow logic during conflicts. So it's better to go to reconciliation first. This will only strengthen your relationship in the future.

With quarrels in family life are no exception to the rule: some quarrel over trifles, others on a grand scale, but any scandals lead the family to the brink of divorce. Moving away from emotions, husbands understand that the value of the family is much greater than what caused the quarrel, and are looking for ways to reconcile. Psychologists say that there is no general recipe for reconciliation, it is different depending on the cause of the conflict.

If the reason for the quarrel is trifling (he didn’t look like that, he didn’t say it, he didn’t answer calls on time, etc.), and the wife was offended, the reason lies not in what lies on the surface.

The wife, violently reacting to something insignificant, in this way sends a signal to her husband that she lacks attention.

In this case, the best way is to arrange a romantic surprise for her. It can be a trip to the cinema, a restaurant, a horseback ride or a boat trip, or just a picnic, a homemade romantic dinner, or an evening ride in the city. Any attempt at rapprochement and time spent together, heart-to-heart talk, kisses or a jacket draped over your shoulders, watching a movie together under a warm blanket will definitely be appreciated by your wife.

If the conflict went into a serious stage, the quarrel was strong, everything and gifts will not have the desired effect. To reconcile with his wife, you need to find out the reason. If we are talking about significant punctures, such as drinking, hanging out with friends, hanging out in computer games, or something similar, you can return the favor of your wife by changing your behavior.

If she does not want to make contact, you must:

wait until emotions subside;
write a letter to your beloved by sending it by e-mail or a message on a social network;
do what she asked: nail the shelf, fix the faucet;
demonstrate behavior changes in an important direction for her: stop hanging out in computer games, return from work on time, pick up the child from kindergarten.

There are many ways to reconcile, the main thing is that the words are backed up by real changes.

What to do with emotions?

There is a category of peace-loving people who suffer in an aggressive field. It is unbearable for them to be in such an atmosphere, and they are ready for anything to dissolve the tension. If a man or woman belongs to that type, they are easy to manipulate, they bombard the forums with requests: help make peace with your wife.

There is another extreme: people feel like fish in water in conflicts and derive secondary benefits from them. After the scandal, the husband gives his wife a gift, and she begins to manipulate him. The truth is in the middle - you need to put up, seeing in yourself and the other the desire not to repeat the quarrel anymore. Having seen the elements of manipulation in yourself or your spouse, you need to stop them in the bud.

Initially, the emotional sphere belongs to women.

To make a hat or a scandal out of nothing is purely feminine, in this they have no equal. A man is not on his territory and will lose.

If he allowed himself to be drawn into emotions: he broke loose, said too much, women readily use his weakness. In response, there will be tears, resentment and emotional rejection of the man. The very subject of the conflict is forgotten, and the man feels guilty because he offended the woman with all the ensuing consequences. If you quarreled with your wife - how to make peace? The answer is unequivocal: coaxing, flirting, gifts and other approaches. The man is always to blame. And rightly so. There is nothing to play on its territory and by its rules. The list of "unforgivable" acts in each family is different: for someone - not to come to spend the night, and for someone - to be late for a family dinner. The rules of the game are discussed beforehand, and two usually know them.

If the wife threw a huge scandal over a trifling, as it seems to a man, occasion, you should not think that this is just a bad mood. If the husband really wants to help his wife, you should not respond to her emotions, but calmly ask what happened. Perhaps the reason lies in something else, and not in. For example, more serious problems arose at work, and the wife is forced to keep a smile on her face all day, so the tension comes out at home. No need to scold or be offended, it is better to just hug and support.

Psychologists say that modern people are prone to stress, and there is no need to wait until the accumulated stress begins to “tear the roof off”. Spouses should arrange days of psychological unloading: get out into nature, listen to music, walk around the city or village, cook a dish together. Any activity without haste will do, it will help to relax and switch attention from problems. This approach will save many quarrels and breakdowns and help the spouses find peace of mind.

If you find an error, please highlight a piece of text and click Ctrl+Enter.

Hello dear readers. Today we will talk about how to beautifully reconcile with your wife. You will learn what are the ways of reconciliation. You will know what to do if the wife does not make contact and does not even want to talk. Find out what are the most common mistakes when trying to make up.

Ways

If there was a quarrel in your family and the only thing that is on your mind right now is “I want to make peace”, then you should choose a method that will be successful in your particular case.

The right thing to do. If the wife is positive about surprises, then you can invite musicians who will give a small concert right in front of your windows. Fireworks can be set off in her honor in the night sky.
Arrange a romantic dinner for your spouse, where you will present your apologies. If you can cook it with your own hands, you will delight your beloved even more.
You can finally find the path to reconciliation by doing what the wife has been asking for a long time. For example, to make repairs that have long been promised. Or buy a slow cooker, which she dreamed of for so long.
If the wife loves soft toys, you can come to put up with a big teddy bear. I would definitely melt at the sight of such a gift.

My husband and I try not to fight. Though sometimes I am offended, and for nothing. Probably, such female nature. But I can't stay mad at him for long. Sometimes the smile of a loved one is enough for me to smile back and we reconciled.

If the spouse does not speak

Let's look at ways to make peace with your beloved wife if she is silent and does not make contact.

You can write a letter. It will be especially pleasant to receive a romantic message that contains a poem, catch phrases. No need to think about what to write so that the wife can definitely forgive. Just convey your feelings, ask for forgiveness, you can list the reasons why you love her so much. Do not skimp on compliments, on sincere words.
You can ask for forgiveness using SMS or write a message on a social network. The main thing is to choose the right words and be sure to ask to be forgiven.
Some men include children. So you can ask the child to come up and ask his mother to forgive his father.
You can order a bouquet of flowers, remembering to attach a note with words of love and a request for forgiveness. Let the courier deliver them to where the wife will be - home or work.

Actions after a serious quarrel

It is necessary to cool down, analyze the current situation, decide that it is necessary to save the relationship.
A person must sincerely confess his feelings and sensations, tell his wife what is in his soul, explain that he feels her pain and wants to fix everything.
A woman should see regret in her husband's eyes, understand that he really repents of what he has done.
It is important to regain the former trust of the spouse. Show her that you care, every day confirm in practice how much you love her.
Return the former romantic mood in the family. Imagine as if you just met, still young and full of energy. Restore your former intimacy.

A real man should be able to be responsible for his words and deeds, be aware of mistakes and be responsible for them. He must have the courage to ask for forgiveness and admit his guilt.

Possible mistakes

When a man thinks about what to say to his wife in order to find reconciliation, he often chooses the wrong words, which further aggravates his situation. Let's look at how not to behave in such a situation.

A man who realizes that he really was guilty often begins to lie or make excuses. Thus, he exposes himself even more to his wife.
If the wife reacts too emotionally to requests for reconciliation, it is unacceptable to reciprocate and start a scandal. It is better to let the woman speak out, if necessary - to cry. A man should listen to everything and hug his beloved.
No need to try to buy off expensive presents. It is better to let it be a bouquet of flowers given from a pure heart than an expensive piece of jewelry with which you are trying to make amends.
It is unacceptable to manipulate a child. It is important to understand that children love both dad and mom equally.
The worst thing is when a man, after a quarrel, leaves home or goes on a drinking binge. Don't hesitate to do it this way.

When a man sees that his wife is wrong in this or that matter, he must understand that he does not want to hurt her, make her suffer. He must choose the right words, agree with her opinion, but avoid conflict, especially if there are children in the house. They don’t need to see the scandal of their parents.
The man must. After all, aggressive behavior often leads to the fact that he offends his wife.
You do not need to immediately begin to put up, as soon as the quarrel ends. It is important that the partners cool down a little, move away from the scandal.
Learn to prevent provocation of a quarrel. If the wife begins to express her claims, criticizes, it is better to accept, agree with the opinion, or translate everything into a joke, using a sense of humor.
Try to compliment your spouse more often. Remember that girls love with their ears. In addition, you must understand that flattering words increase a woman's self-esteem, inspire her.
Talk heart to heart with your spouse more often, take an interest in her mood, desires, needs, do not ignore her.
It is important to be aware of your mistakes, learn from them, sincerely ask for forgiveness. A man must promise that he will not do it again. It is important at the same time to keep your word and really do not do it again.
A man should be aware that women are more emotional, and they take everything that happens closer to their hearts. If the wife is offended, try to understand this state, apologize, even if you think that you are right.

Now you know how to make peace with your wife if you have offended her greatly. Remember all possible ways. Do not forget that mistakes can be made when trying to find reconciliation. Try not to upset your spouse in the future, listen to her opinion more often, value your wife. Avoid conflict situations, compromise.

Darlings scold - only amuse? When, as - about everyday life and small disagreements, which eventually turn into major misunderstandings, many boats of family happiness crashed. Claim after claim, resentment after resentment, quarrels become more frequent and become normal. Discontent is growing - and not far from a divorce. Therefore, we advise you to quarrel wisely - infrequently, briefly and correctly, not forgetting to put up as quickly as possible. If you, of course, value marriage.

How to reconcile with your wife after a quarrel? There are several simple ways that will speed up the process of your reconciliation.

Of course, your behavior should be determined by the reason for the quarrel - after all, it's one thing if you just quarreled because of household chores, it's another when you went overboard and behaved strangely, and the third is if your wife discovered the fact of infidelity. In the first case, it will be enough to take the first step and apologize, in the second, you will have to sweat a little longer, and in the third, any outcome is generally possible. And yet, to propitiate his wife:

Act immediately - go to the world as soon as possible after a spat. It is especially important to do this if there is a compelling reason (like betrayal), and your girlfriends, mother, can manage to “wind up” your wife. Until she had time to think about the situation, fixing the situation is much easier.

Ask for forgiveness - sincerely, honestly, looking into your eyes and not hoping that your wife will immediately change her anger to mercy.

Tell your loved one about your feelings, admit that you are very ashamed. Even if you are both to blame, but the world is more important to you, repent - women love it.

Do not pressure, do not blackmail - your wife is already not in the best mood, so you should not put conditions on her (it is still unclear what this could turn out to be).

Do not look indifferent, impartial - if your spouse sees that after a quarrel you are behaving as if nothing had happened, this will further piss her off.

Be confidential with your wife's girlfriends - perhaps they will tell you what your wife thinks about the situation and what she expects from you. The main disadvantages of the method are, firstly, they may not tell you anything, and, secondly, they will probably report you.

Remove the main irritant that caused the quarrel - start keeping promises, wash the dishes, stop blaming your wife for all mortal sins or drinking at friendly meetings, remove your mistress's number from your phone and honestly spend your evenings at home.

How fast the results of reconciliation will be depends on the cause of the quarrel, the nature of the spouse, and your actions. Even if the fortress does not fall for a long time, do not give up - everything has its time. When the wife sees that you have changed, are honest with her, sincerely repent and are ready to try for the sake of peace in the family, she will sooner or later forgive you. In the end, the dear ones scold - they amuse themselves in their own way.

Family life is never complete without conflicts and quarrels. Usually, it is enough for one of the spouses to apologize to their other half, and the conflict will be settled. But in exceptional cases, the girl is so offended by the act of her man that it is rather difficult to ask for forgiveness from her. For example, if a husband cheated on his wife, lied, or otherwise betrayed her trust. Then the young man should find a solution to the problem as soon as possible and make peace with his beloved.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW! Fortuneteller Baba Nina:"There will always be plenty of money if you put it under your pillow..." Read more >>

If you ignore the situation and believe that it will resolve itself over time, then the marriage will not be saved. It is also necessary to remember some common mistakes made by men, which can aggravate the relationship of the parties.

Show all

How to reconcile with your wife?

The actions of a man depend on how difficult the situation in the family is. Girls treat their young people very differently - some are ready to forgive any offense, while others will say that they no longer want a relationship. It depends on the character, and on the perception of the situation, and on the reason for the conflict.

Initially, it is worth considering how likely it is to save the marriage. If a man understands that a girl is unlikely to be able to understand him, and she wants to get a divorce, then you should not put psychological pressure on your spouse.

Nevertheless, it is still worth trying to reconcile. Maybe a woman can give her husband another chance.

Argument

Quarrels in the family always occur for various reasons, and it is pointless to try to find out their root. Most often, conflict situations occur from scratch - someone promised to do something and did not do it, financial difficulties arose, problems in communicating with relatives, and the like.

In any case, you need to apologize to the girl, even if the man does not consider himself guilty of a quarrel. Nevertheless, he offended his wife, and at least for this one must ask for forgiveness.

After a strong quarrel, one word about a woman is not enough. The next step towards reconciliation is to resolve the situation. Example: a young man promised his wife that from the next salary they would purchase equipment for the home, and he spent the financial resources on his own needs, which is why a conflict occurred. The man sincerely believes that he is right, since he himself earned this money and is able to dispose of it as he pleases. A woman thinks differently: if a man has promised, then he must fulfill his promises. Both partners can be understood.

In this case, the young man should ask for forgiveness before his wife for not fulfilling his words, and then explain the motives for his act. He must give reasons why he did so. And to the extent possible, implement this communication - that is, buy that equipment for the house from the next salary. The conflict in the family will be settled: the woman achieved what her husband said, and he bought what he had long wanted.

This example is the most successful conflict resolution. The situation can be absolutely any, as well as the causes of the scandal.

There are three step-by-step steps leading to reconciliation:

1. Confession of guilt. In a simulated situation, a man does not fulfill the agreement, for which he subsequently apologizes to his girlfriend.
2. Explanation of motives. After the husband asks for forgiveness, he explains why and why he spent the money on his own needs, although he planned to invest it in general equipment.
3. Promise implementation. The last stage - the man makes a purchase and satisfies the desire of the woman, the conflict has been settled.

Sometimes there are additional difficulties that prevent you from acting according to the plan. Maybe the woman does not want to talk after the young man insulted her, or she was forced to seek help from someone else. A man should simplify and analyze the situation as much as possible, as in the example above. If he is guilty, then it is necessary not only to apologize to the girl, but also to do something for her that she would be pleased with: make a gift, take her to some event, go on vacation, and the like.

Treason

It should be noted right away that not every woman will forgive treason. It all depends on the following factors:

Who was intimate with. If sex was with a casual acquaintance, then this is one thing, but if with a former lover, it is completely different.
How long did it last. Once may be unconscious, but meetings over several months cannot be justified in any way.
How did the wife find out about the betrayal. In cases where the husband himself tells about his misconduct, the girl can make contact. But if strangers tell her everything, then it is unlikely.
Who was the initiator of the meetings. If the spouse finds out that the husband was specifically looking for girls for himself, then you should not count on understanding.
Was the young man aware? Maybe the young man was intoxicated and did not realize what was happening - then you can understand him.

In order for the wife to forgive the betrayal, you should try to describe the situation to her.

For clarity, two opposite examples should be taken. In the first case, the man was intoxicated, slept with an unfamiliar woman, and then repented and explained everything to his wife. The young man committed a serious offense, but there is still a chance for forgiveness, since he sincerely considers himself guilty and will forgive forgiveness.

The second example: the guy decided to get a girl for intimacy, neglecting the feelings of his wife. He lived with his wife and at the same time met with his mistress. After some time, the woman learned that her husband was unfaithful to her from mutual acquaintances. The man began to lie, make excuses and blame his wife for his act. In this case, you should not even count on forgiveness, since the husband not only cheated on the woman, but also behaved very ugly, insulting.

Betrayal

Betrayals include not only betrayal, but also other acts - deceit, neglect, abandonment in a difficult situation. If a man betrayed a woman in any way, after which he decided to make amends, then this will not be easy. It all depends on how serious the offense was.

First you need to try to restore the trust of the woman you love. Apologies alone will not be enough, the young man will have to explain the motives of his act. If you talk honestly and sincerely with your girlfriend, then the couple will definitely come to reconciliation.

What are the common mistakes to avoid?

In order not to bring an already difficult situation to a divorce, a man should be aware of common mistakes that must be avoided:

You can't blame a girl. Very often, young people try to defend themselves by exposing everything as if the woman herself provoked the conflict. In a quarrel, both are always to blame - someone to a greater extent, and someone to a lesser extent.
Don't try to shift the blame onto your spouse. Many husbands look for the cause of their misdeeds in the second half. Some even blame their wives for their own infidelities, believing that they did not pay enough attention and interest in sexual life.
You don't have to justify your actions. It is necessary to explain the motives of the act, but very often it looks like an excuse. You need to talk to your wife in such a way that she sees the situation through the eyes of a young man. But somehow trying to downplay, exposing everything in a different light, one should not be guilty.

A man should speak calmly, without shouting, suppressing his emotions. Even if a girl communicates in high tones, then you should restrain yourself.

If she does not want to talk at all, then you can write a letter for the woman, describing her feelings in it. So the spouses will not yell at each other and will be able to avoid a second conflict.

If the spouses seriously quarreled and cannot reach a compromise in any way, then it is recommended to visit a specialist. The psychologist will be able to give advice to young people, as well as analyze the situation from a third person from a professional point of view. Specialist consultations are especially relevant when quarrels and scandals happen on a regular basis.

It should be understood that we are talking only about professional help. The advice of girlfriends, friends, relatives and other strangers should not be listened to. It is not recommended to tell someone about problems in the family.

If there was a conflict in the family, then this is a matter of two people, and it is ugly to tell someone else about it in relation to the spouse.