Communication etiquette must be taught from childhood, so that later an adult does not have difficulties in communication. Of course, everyone wants to be confident, relaxed in any society or company. All of us, at least in the depths of our souls, strive to please, to attract others with manners, appearance, the ability to feel free in the most difficult situation. But it is never too late to learn the etiquette of communication - there would be a desire!

Any communication begins with a greeting. According to etiquette, you need to greet a person with the words: “Hello!”, “Good morning!”, “Good afternoon!”, “Good evening!”. These are the most common and acceptable forms of greeting. Among close people, it is most common to say “hello”.

In a greeting, the intonation is very important, warm and friendly, because even the usual greeting words, expressed in a rude or dry tone, can offend the person you are greeting. And if you smile when you say hello, it will immediately endear you to a person. Only the smile should be sincere.

It is customary to accompany the greeting with a bow, a nod of the head, a handshake, and hugs. During the greeting, do not lower your eyes. You need to make eye contact with the person you are greeting, otherwise the person will think that it is unpleasant for you to communicate with him, that you are hiding something, etc. During the greeting, it is indecent to keep your hands in your pockets and a cigarette in your mouth. This expresses disrespect for the interlocutor.

There are different situations for exchanging greetings. There are a few things to keep in mind if you want to be polite and not offend the feelings of others.

If you notice a friend in the distance (on the other side of the street, on a bus, etc.), and if you also notice you, you need to greet the person with a nod of the head, a wave of the hand, a bow, a smile. You should not shout at the top of your voice - you will put both him and yourself in an awkward situation.

If you see a friend approaching you, you do not need to shout "hello" from afar. Wait until the distance between you is reduced to a few steps, and then greet him.

If you are walking with someone and your companion says hello to a stranger, you should also say hello.

If you meet a friend in the company of a stranger, you need to greet them both. You also need to greet everyone in the group you are approaching.

If you are walking in a group and meet your friend,

you don't have to introduce it to others. You can apologize, step aside for a few seconds and talk with a friend. But do not drag out the conversation, because other people are waiting for you.

Be sure to greet those people with whom you often meet, even if you do not know them. For example, with the seller of the nearest store, with the postman, neighbors from the entrance. This is basic courtesy.

If you enter a room where there are a lot of people, you should not greet everyone individually, but say a general “hello”.

Often greeting people shake hands. Here etiquette also pays attention to some subtleties.

The elders are the first to give a hand to the younger ones, and not vice versa.

Among peers, women are the first to shake hands with men.

If two married couples meet, then the women first greet each other, then the men greet the women, after that the men greet each other.

Before shaking hands, a man must take off his glove. A woman does not need to do this. However, when greeting noticeably older people, everyone should remove the glove.

According to etiquette, there are three main types of treatment:

1. Official - citizen, sir

2. Friendly - a respected colleague, old man, dear friend, etc.

3. Familiar - dear, granny and. D., permissible only among the closest people

It is customary to address older people and unfamiliar peers with “you”. "You" is allowed to say only to the closest friends.

If you need to address your relative or close acquaintance, who is the leader, in the presence of outsiders, it is better to call him by his first name and patronymic and “you”. In this case, it is inappropriate to demonstrate family or friendship ties to everyone.

If, for example, in a team that is new to you, everyone addresses each other as “you”, and you are used to “you”, it’s better to accept the rules of the team than to dictate your own.

If someone calls you impolitely (for example: “Hey, you!”), You should not respond to this call. However, there is no need to lecture, educate others during a short meeting. It is better to teach an etiquette lesson by your own example.

When telling someone about people, it is not customary to talk about them in the third person: “he” or “she”. Even about close relatives it is necessary to say: “Anna Ivanovna asked me to convey ...”, “Ivan Petrovich will be waiting for you ...”.

The way we start communication with a person largely determines the future fate of this communication, so it’s worth following the simple rules of etiquette, it definitely won’t hurt!

The first to greet the younger elders, men - women.

A woman greets a man first if he is much older than her. Exceptions to this rule: the one who enters the room, be it a man or a woman, is the first to greet those present, the one who leaves is the first to say goodbye to those who remain.

When there are several people in the room, they first greet the mistress of the house, then other women, then the owner of the house and men.

When greeting a man, a woman should be the first to give a hand. If she is limited to a bow, a man should not extend his hand to her. The same is true between older and younger men.

A man always gets up (except for the very old and the sick, who find it difficult to get up), greeting both women and men. A woman, greeting a man, does not get up. The exception is the mistress of the house, receiving guests, always gets up, greeting them.

Women also stand up when they greet older men.

Having greeted his peer, a man can sit down. If he greets an older man or woman, then he can sit down only after they sit down, or with their permission. If the mistress of the house offers to sit down, but she herself continues to stand, you should not sit down. Keep this in mind when you have guests.

It is not customary to greet through the threshold, through the table, through any partition.

You can, of course, communicate in the usual way, not paying attention to all the subtleties of etiquette, if your environment suits it. But, being in a different society, in another, unfamiliar company, moving to a new job or a higher position, the rules of communication should be observed. Sometimes too much depends on them: solving a problem, establishing the right contacts, doing business, or starting a long-term important relationship.

The importance of handshakes in the system of male values ​​is difficult to overestimate. Nevertheless, even such a seemingly simple thing has its own simple science. In this material, the FURFUR editors decided to remind the reader about the rules of the classic handshake, to tell how real warriors or scouts greet and what things in the greeting ritual should be avoided.

CLASSIC OPTION

We make a smooth lunge forward towards the interlocutor, as if hinting at the beginning of the ritual. A hand that is properly prepared for a handshake can be recognized by two main features: closed front fingers and a thumb that is parallel to the plane of the palm. Look at yours and, if so, calm down and move on to the next step.

Be sure to look (and even better - even with a smile) in the eyes or on the bridge of your partner's nose. This is very important as it creates the right friendly feeling. In parallel, follow the movement of his hand - this moment can only be compared with the docking of an interplanetary spacecraft.

The most crucial moment: contact. Do not worry and do not overdo it from the surging emotions. It remains to make a small effort and shake your hand slightly, after which, after two or three seconds, smoothly release it.

It is better to give a hand at the same level as the hand given to you. A hand directed from above can give the impression of an attempt to show one's superiority, a hand directed from below, on the contrary, speaks of some kind of flattery towards a partner. If you are younger in age, it would be more appropriate to say hello first, showing your respect there, while the elder should always give a hand first.

What not to do

Squeeze your hand and shake it too hard. Even if you have a school friend in front of you whom you have not seen for a hundred years, turning a handshake into an arm wrestling competition is hardly worth it. At the same time p try to equalize emotions: if a person wants a long and strong handshake, do not refuse him this.

Give a flaccid hand or fingers instead of the whole palm. This is simply unmanly, and besides, meeting with hands larger than yours is likely to end very painfully.

Do not forget that in different cultures the ritual of shaking hands can be interpreted in completely different ways. In many countries, the gesture is exclusively intimate, so it will never be superfluous to figure out how to behave in a particular place, so as not to get into a stupid position.

Greeting is not just a gesture of politeness. For some nations, this is a whole rite. Usually the words that people say to each other when they meet, start a telephone conversation, personal correspondence, etc., contain wishes for good, peace, and health. Sometimes they express interest in how a person lives, whether everything is in order with him.

In order not to look like an ill-mannered person, you need to know how to greet correctly, behave according to etiquette in personal communication. This will allow you to show your best side, especially if you are seeing a person for the first time, and his opinion of you is just beginning to take shape.

Etiquette

There is a whole system of rules on how to say hello.

It has its own for every nation. Here they say: "Meet by clothes, see off by mind". In today's world this is called "overall image".

In economically developed countries, it is customary to form an opinion about a person not by clothes and its cost, but by focusing on how a person knows how to behave correctly when starting to communicate.

The inhabitants of our latitudes are gradually moving away from significance "dimensional image", paying attention to the tact and upbringing of the counterpart, losing sight of his hairstyle, the correct selection of accessories, the brand of perfume.

To a greater extent, this applies to business circles. Considerable importance was attached to etiquette at all times, but as a system of designated rules, it was formed only a little more than 3 centuries ago. Some people believe that the greeting does not convey any information.

In fact, the interlocutor with his help gives a lot of signals:

• Expression of respect for the rights and personality of a counterpart;
• Positioning yourself as a person equal to the interlocutor;
• Expression of desire and interest in further communication, regardless of the ultimate goal (business, friendly interaction, etc.).

Greetings from different nations

If you have a meeting with representatives of other countries, find out how they greet according to their etiquette. For example, it is customary for the Japanese to bow when meeting.

If you intend to visit Japan, remember that there are three types of bows:

1. Saikerei. It is weighed to the address of people with a high social status, respectable elders. The tilt angle is approximately 45 degrees. As a rule, the Japanese honor the most respected guests with such bows;
2. Kayrey. They greet people when they enter or leave the premises. The tilt angle is 30 degrees;
3. Eshaku. This is the simplest tribute. If a Japanese greets and weighs exactly this, he implies that one could just walk past. The degree of inclination is approximately 15 degrees.

For a long time, the Chinese and Koreans also used a similar system of bows, but at present, representatives of these peoples will shake hands with a European, and greet each other with their hands clasped and raised above their heads.

Close people in India usually hug. The men pat each other on the back, and the women touch their cheeks twice. Residents of this country greet strangers by bringing the joined fingers of two hands to their eyebrows.

In France, a stranger is greeted with a handshake, but if the situation is informal, it is customary to imitate three kisses, touching cheeks.

If in New Zealand a person touches your nose with his, it means that you are very nice to him.

Do not be surprised by the hot hugs of the inhabitants of Latin America - the "hot" representatives of this country give them to everyone.

In European countries, it is customary to shake hands when meeting.

How does this happen to Muslims?

It is worth studying the traditions if you are going to a Muslim country.

Greeting etiquette is highly respected by Muslims, associating it with religion. "As-salamu 'alaikum"(“Peace be with you”) - this is their greeting, in response to which you need to answer "Wa-'alaikum as-salaam"("Peace to you too" ). This is a short version, but for a foreigner it is quite enough to express his respect to the interlocutor. But this is not all you need to know about how, and what they want to say, Muslims greet.

"As-salam" means well-being, health, peace. He is not just desired from the heart, but they ask Allah to give these blessings.

The name "Muslim" comes from this word and means, among other things, a greeting. Honoring each other with this word, people seem to conclude an agreement among themselves on mutual respect for the honor, rights and life of another person.

If salam is given to one person, he must definitely answer. Otherwise, Allah will be angry, and the request for peace and health will not be heard.

When sending a greeting to a group of people, it does not matter who is the first to say hello, the main thing is that at least someone from the team answers. The answer to “salaam” should be received quickly, because delay without a good reason is a great sin.

It is not forbidden, but it is highly discouraged for a man to greet an outside woman if she is unaccompanied by her husband or other people. In this case, the woman does not have the right to answer "salaam". A woman is an outsider for a man if, according to the norms of Islam, he can marry her.

The same applies to people who are busy at a certain moment, who may not have the opportunity to answer.

"See you today"- sometimes you can hear in response to "Hello" with us. Muslims greet every meeting in order to cry out to Allah for peace and health as often as possible. This is especially true for families.

Salam is often accompanied by a handshake.

Jewish greetings

Their greeting is consonant with the Muslim (“Shalom”, “Shalom Aleichem”) and the meaning is similar - “Peace”, “Peace be with you”. Recently, most often Jews use its short form ("Shalom").

Depending on the time of day, people may say hello differently.

For example, if you need to wish good morning, they say "Bokeh of mouths", good afternoon - "Tsohoraim Tovim", evenings - "Erev tov". It is considered polite to ask, “What do you hear?” ("Ma nishma?").

If, when greeting, the Jews want to show their participation, they are interested in how the interlocutor is doing - “Mashlomcha?” .

How is it done with us?

The culture of communication in our latitudes also implies a wish for health or an interest in how the counterpart is doing.

There are a number of nuances that need to be considered when greeting a person. For example, this applies to who should say hello first according to etiquette. The younger must show respect. In relation to a woman, the man expresses his respect first.

If she is sitting, she has the right not to get up in response.

But if she receives a guest in her house, it is advisable to get up. A woman who is in the company of a man should greet a woman who is not in the company of the opposite sex. Regardless of the accompaniment, the younger woman greets the older one.

In ancient times, a slave had to bow before his master.

Today, it is enough for a subordinate to be the first to greet the boss, but only the leader can initiate a handshake. The exception is the female subordinate, who must reach out first.

According to the explanatory dictionary, "etiquette" is a form, manner of behavior, rules of courtesy and politeness that "reign" in a particular society. It turns out that depending on what society, country or situation you are in, the rules of etiquette, including the rules of greeting, may differ. Despite the slight differences in etiquette in different countries, the basics of international etiquette are basically the same.

The same can be said about the rules of greeting, the differences in which are manifested only in the traditions of a particular country. Usually, when meeting people, they wish each other well, health, prosperity, a good day or success in work.

Not many people know how to say hello properly, and ?

Who should say hello first?

Usually, according to etiquette, the first to say hello is a man. However, this is not always the case, and it all depends on a particular etiquette situation, historical era or culture.

To answer the question " Who is the first to say hello according to etiquette ?”, it is necessary to determine the situation in which you find yourself.

Conventionally, etiquette can be divided into:

• situational;
• professional;
• secular;
• business.

Every day we find ourselves in business or secular situations, so look for the answer to the question " Who should say hello first?» We will, based on their rules.

Despite the differences in etiquette situations, it is impossible to draw clear boundaries between them.

Who should be the first to say hello, according to secular etiquette?

Cultural people always greet friends, acquaintances, neighbors or those people who have ever rendered them services or assistance when they meet.

According to the existing etiquette, it is customary to greet a man first with a woman, the younger one with the elder, the subordinate with the boss.

Usually, if a man meets a woman, the man is the first to say hello. But if the woman is much younger than the man, she should be the first to greet him. An exception to this rule: those present are greeted by the one (regardless of gender), who first enters the room, and the one who leaves is the first to say goodbye to those who remain.

If there are several people in the room, first they greet the mistress of the house, then other women, and then the owner of the house and other men.

At a meeting, a woman is the first to give a hand to greet a man, and the younger ones - to the elders.

Who should say hello first, according to business etiquette?

The development of international cooperation requires employees of companies to adhere to certain communication skills in order not to “fall face down” in front of foreign partners. To do this, it is necessary to learn the rules of conduct adopted in different countries and based on politeness, naturalness, dignity and tact.

Modern business etiquette is based on standard rules with slight adjustments for the gender, age and position of the company's employees. In addition, it is also necessary to consider whether they are in the company of other people or alone.

If in a secular situation the usual rules of greeting apply, then at work they change, adjusted for the position held.

Who is the first to say hello according to etiquette in the office? According to the daily rules of modern business etiquette, the first person to greet (if there is not a big difference in subordination) who first saw the other.

Based on the rules of business etiquette, a subordinate, regardless of gender and age, is the first to greet the boss. At the same time, the subordinate should not be the first to extend his hand to shake hands with a senior in position.

If in business communication the subordinate always greets the boss first, then in a situation where a superior enters the room with subordinates, he should be the first to greet the employees in the office.

In secular etiquette, when greeting a woman, older or superior in position, the man should stand up. In a business setting, these rules are adjusted for the position: a female subordinate always greets an incoming boss by standing up. However, there may be exceptions caused by the decency and good manners of people of higher positions.

How to say hello

Any communication, and even more acquaintance, begins with a greeting. So, the main elements of greeting are intonation, smile and gestures.

1. Intonation is an important element of greeting. A dry or rude tone can simply offend a person, while a warm and friendly greeting will leave a pleasant impression of the meeting.
2. A pleasant and sincere smile will improve your mood.
3. Any etiquette greeting, depending on the situation, is usually accompanied by a handshake, a nod of the head, a bow, a kiss on the hand or a hug.

When greeting a person, you should not lower your eyes - your eyes should meet.

Handshake in etiquette

According to secular etiquette, when meeting, you must be able to properly shake hands:

1. The younger ones give a hand to the older ones.
2. When a woman and a man meet, if they are of the same age, the woman gives her hand first.
3. When two couples meet, first the women greet each other, then the men greet the women; the men greet each other.
4. Before shaking hands, men take off the glove, women may not take it off. At the same time, when greeting older people, everyone takes off their gloves - both men and women.

"Business" handshake

Business ethics allow for the absence of a handshake when greeting. But if such a ritual is to your liking, then remember that the woman is the first to extend her hand to the man.

If you shake hands with one of your colleagues when entering a room, you will also have to greet everyone else present. A "business handshake" should be short.

Summarize

To make a good impression on a person, you need to learn how to use the greeting correctly, being in various situations. After all, a beautiful greeting can show that you are a confident, friendly and pleasant person. The greeting should be a form of polite mutual respect, showing the other person your benevolence and disposition towards him. At the same time, the nature of the greeting should exclude your negative attitude towards the person and a bad mood.

To understand who should say hello first , it is necessary to determine the etiquette situation in which you find yourself and correctly build a line of your behavior. This is necessary in order to avoid unpleasant and stupid situations from which it can be difficult to get out, while maintaining one's dignity and honor and avoiding conflict and misunderstanding.

Although the basic rules of etiquette are the same, they can vary depending on the situation. Business and secular etiquette distinguishes the priority of subordinations, the concepts of which are in the gender, age and service areas. Business etiquette, first of all, is based on the system of official business relations, in which the status (position) of a person plays a big role, and then age and gender. In business communication, signs of respect and respect must be rendered in this order. In secular etiquette, only gender and age are taken into account.

Who should say hello first?

Publication date 17.08.2007

We continue a series of publications on business etiquette. In the previous article, we talked about how to introduce strangers to each other. Today we are talking about an equally important aspect of business contacts - how to greet subordinates or superiors, how to greet business partners. Knowing the intricacies of this issue will not only help you in solving current affairs, but will also strengthen your reputation as an educated, social person, which, of course, contributes to a successful career.

Educated people greet each other when they meet - it would seem that there is nothing complicated? However, etiquette is a delicate matter. Much of it is based on the principle of emphasized respect. In accordance with it, a man is the first to greet a woman, the youngest - the eldest, and an ordinary employee - the boss.

This applies to verbal greetings. It is followed, as usual, by a handshake. And here is another alignment. According to etiquette, the most respected person initiates the handshake: the elder gives his hand to the younger, the boss to the subordinate, the woman to the man. The man must wait until the woman extends her hand for a handshake, if this gesture does not follow, limit herself to a slight bow. (The custom of kissing women's hands is practically not used now; it has been preserved only in Poland.)

As you can see, saying hello is not easy at all. And if you consider that at work you have to greet each other under different circumstances, then this question becomes even more confusing. Well, for example, who should say hello first: a young secretary or a CEO who is like her father? On the one hand, the girl should show respect to the elder and be the first to say “hello”, but the CEO should also not forget that he is a man who is obliged to greet women first himself. How to be? It all depends on how the boss positions himself. If he considers himself a man in the prime of his life, he will hurry to say “Hello”. If the boss feels the sand pouring out of him with every cell of his body, he can wait until the girl shows respect for his position and answer with a gracious nod.

There are other subtleties. According to etiquette, when a woman enters the room, the seated man should stand up to greet. (A woman in a similar situation gets up only if an older person enters.)

Now suppose that the boss called a subordinate to the carpet, whom he had not yet seen that day. This means that he should get up, leave the table, put his hands at his sides, say hello, and only then give her a dressing - unless, of course, the fuse disappears (maybe etiquette was invented to extinguish conflicts in the bud?).

And a little more about respect for women. The man always lets the woman go first. A man can go ahead of a woman only in exceptional cases, if there is any obstacle on the way. In addition, the rules of good manners require gentlemen to be the first to go through the revolving doors, so as not to deprive themselves of the opportunity to hold it in front of the ladies, and the first to enter the elevator as a source of increased danger. (The one who is closest to the door leaves the elevator first.) On the stairs, the man goes down 1-2 steps ahead of the woman and climbs 1-2 steps behind, so that at any moment he is ready to help if the lady stumbles.

Let's get back to the handshake. It should be short and energetic, while you need to look eye to eye. It is not good to give a relaxed hand, but squeezing and shaking your partner’s hand with all your might is also not good. By the way, psychologists believe that you can learn a lot about a person by the way you shake hands. For example, a gallant handshake means that a person knows how to adapt to other people. If the hand is firm and frozen, we have a tough person demanding submission from others. The body of the one who extended his hand to us is forward - it means that he is interested in communication. A wide gesture on the side means that this person is rustic and so on.

Remember that you cannot enter a room where there are several people and shake hands with only one of them - you must definitely extend your hand to everyone else.

When communicating with foreigners, it must be borne in mind that the handshake is especially widespread in America, as well as in Europe. Americans and Western Europeans value strong handshakes: being out of shape in these countries is bad form. Expressive Americans often go beyond a handshake, supplementing it with a pat on the shoulder. On the contrary, Asians may regard such actions as unpleasant familiarity and an attack on personal freedom. In India, China and Japan, the handshake is not accepted at all. In Japan, three types of bows are used as a greeting (depending on the degree of respect expressed): the lowest, the average bow at an angle of 30 degrees, and the light bow at an angle of 15 degrees. For some peoples, the greeting has an even more exotic form: for example, the Maori tribes living in New Zealand touch their noses when they meet.