Secrets of education, or how to grow a leader. How to teach a child to be a leader? Let's start with the family

02.05.2022

Child - leader: psychological characteristics and education

Raising a child leader requires a special approach from parents. How to identify leadership inclinations in a baby and how should parents act, taking into account his psychological characteristics?

Sometimes you can see how one child manages to involve all the others in the game. “Well, the leader is growing”, “He will definitely become your president” - such phrases are often heard by the parents of a child leader.

Leadership or uncontrollability?

In general, in modern society, leadership is a trait that is approved and in demand. Leadership It's almost synonymous with success. "We educate leaders" - such a slogan can often be heard in "advanced" kindergartens, schools, and various youth organizations. But even a born leader, until he turned 18, is, first of all, still a child. This means that he needs to be educated, helped him find ways to develop positive qualities and teach him how to use them for the benefit of himself and others.

One of the common traps is that parents of children-leaders sometimes feel that they are somehow weaker than their own child and consciously, or refuse the educational function in relation to him. Meanwhile, every child needs authorities, role models.
Commanding tone, not only among peers, but also in the family circle, self-will, stubbornness, aggression in response to any restrictions - such behavior is often confused with leadership and is called manifestations of a strong character. And then the parents, although they suffer from such behavior of the child, but deep down they are proud of the strength of character, relaxedness and energy of their offspring.
If the child manages to achieve what he wants in this way, and he also sees tacit approval, the method is fixed.

The main problem is that, unlike true leadership, such pseudo-leadership actually means the complete lack of independence of the child. Why be able to do something yourself, if everything will be done for you ?!

The ability to get along with people is one of the essential qualities of a leader.

How to find the real leadership inclinations?

The leader does not act with tantrums and orders. A child-leader knows how to lure other children into the game, correctly explain the rules, is not afraid of responsibility, conflicts. He seems to be doing nothing special, but somehow stands out among others, attracting to himself.
A true leader is a leader everywhere. If a child “builds” everyone at home, and prefers to remain silent in kindergarten, most likely this is just a way of interacting with parents, and not a personality trait of the baby.
A child leader has a special style of thinking, he is inclined to plan, to calculate various options, and this can manifest itself already starting from 3-4 years.
The child-leader is independent, does not wait for adults to decide something for him, he can organize the game himself, occupy himself with something.
As a rule, small leaders are excellent observers: they show an interest in the peculiarities of behavior and human relations early. A child leader is able to convince peers, for example, to give away cars, but not by cunning, but on the basis of a benefit for another kid.
In the children's team, the child leader often takes on the functions of a "judge", a mediator in resolving various conflicts.
“In our kindergarten, all the guys quarrel about who should get up first when we go to physical education, push each other, swear!” a four-year-old boy tells his mother. “Are you also arguing and cursing?” Mom asks. "No, I tell them who should go first and why!" the child answers. "And they listen to you?" Mom is surprised. “Of course, I tell them everything correctly,” the child leader replies.

How should parents act?

First of all, consistency is important. If you tell your child: “Don’t you dare order me,” and an hour later you brag to your girlfriend in front of him that your son has a “strong character”, be sure that next time he will show his “character” even brighter.
You yourself must be aware of the line and explain it to the child. Knowing how to achieve your own is good, but you need to be able to choose methods for this that do not infringe or offend others. A true leader is one who reaches the top not at the expense of others, but together with them. It is important to develop in the child leader responsibility for the team, the value of a common cause, and not one's own ambitions.
It is very important for parents of a child with leadership inclinations to help their child find a business in which he will express himself. For some, sports become such a thing, for another, a school scientific society, for a third, organizing the release of a school newspaper, etc. Leadership inclinations that cannot be realized often gnaw at the child from the inside, turning into envy, vanity, jealousy for the success of others .
Children-leaders are often very sensitive to evaluations of their activities, painfully perceive criticism, mistakes and failures. It is very important from an early age to teach a child to perceive criticism as an incentive for development, mistakes as lessons, and failures as an inevitable side effect on the way to the goal.
No matter how old-fashioned it may sound, but the parents of a child-leader need to pay special attention to the education of value orientations and ideas about morality and morality in a child. You are growing a personality capable of leading others, and it is very important where exactly.

Child psychologists have developed a wonderful formula: tell your baby no more than three “no” per day, and for each of them three “you can”.

Look closely at who the child chooses as his idols, "villains" or "noble heroes", the fact is that in "villainy" leadership is usually more obvious and obvious. So, for example, during the popularity of the TV series "Brigada", while working at school, I observed how in many classes - from the 3rd to the 11th - the boy leaders began to imitate the main character of this film, the criminal, copying his language, adopting values. The image of a person around whom others revolve and obey him was very bright and attractive.

And here is what the mother of a third-grader tells about the peculiarities of raising her child-leader.

“My son has always shown a penchant for leadership, ever since kindergarten. In the class, he is the headman, the guys listen to him. And just recently there was such an episode. A boy from another school came to their class, and because he was new and had some other external shortcomings, they, as often happens, began to “spread rot” in the class. Some of the guys began to taunt him, arrange evil jokes. My son, talking about this, was very worried. He said that he felt sorry for the boy, but he was afraid that if he did not participate in the common undertaking, he would lose his authority. For quite some time we discussed that this is exactly the case when he can use his authority in the class for a good cause. This, of course, is more difficult, but this way he will respect himself more. We talked for several evenings in a row. Needless to say, things ended well. As soon as the son expressed his position in the class, many children immediately joined him, who were afraid to do it themselves. Those arguments that we picked up with him helped, he took the newcomer under his wing. I think he's proud of himself."

Leadership is a responsibility, it is important that the child understands this.

child leader at home

How to communicate with a small leader at home?

He has his own view of everything around, seeks to help or advise. It is clear that you cannot limit the child to your desires and needs, he needs space for thoughts, decisions and actions. But on the other hand, a parent always remains a parent, and this, in essence, is a leadership role. So there is a contradiction...

In any case, the child must recognize the authority of the parent
It's best to come up with the next compromise. It is worth discussing difficult situations with the child on an equal footing, giving him the opportunity to prove himself and argue his position. The final decision in difficult situations should remain with the parent. For example, a child insists on watching a movie on TV late at night with you. Let him explain what interested him - the film itself or the opportunity to stay longer with his parents. This way you can offer alternatives (“We will find this movie on the Internet tomorrow and watch it in the daytime”). And then firmly say that now he is going to bed, because he must comply with the regime. You can explain to a child who is painfully aware that you decide for him: “When you grow up, you will also be responsible for your family.”
try soallocate tasks and responsibilitiesso that the child has an area for which he is fully responsible and makes decisions.
For example, the duty of a preschooler may be to dust the apartment. It is important to give him the opportunity to draw up a schedule for such cleaning himself, to choose a “tool of labor”. You will only occasionally check the quality of work, but not interfere with the process itself. With age, the area of \u200b\u200bresponsibility needs to be expanded. By the way, this will clearly show an important rule - the more you know how, the more you can decide for yourself. Indeed, often a child leader has ambitions that are not based on a real level of capabilities.

For example, a first grader may demand not to control homework, but he himself will spend a lot of time playing games and watching TV and will not have time to work out properly. Then you can say: “I will not interfere in your tasks themselves until you ask, but for now we will plan your day together, you still don’t have a good sense of time and know how to organize it.”

Don't compete with your child.
Sometimes parents, if they themselves are leaders by nature, unconsciously begin to arrange a home competition “Who is in charge?” It is very important to avoid this situation. What you need to teach a child leader is cooperation, and he will learn competition himself. "We are going to the cinema!" dad says. “No, let's go to the skating rink!” insists the child. And such disputes every day, their goal is often only to see who will out-argue whom. "Let `s together!" – talk to the child leader more often. Let him hear your opinion, and you hear him and make a decision together.
Help build relationships with siblings.
In families with several children, competition between them is also not uncommon. It is important to find a “niche” for each of the children, where he will prove himself and become the first. One child may be an obvious leader in the exact sciences, and another in creative pursuits. Explain to the children that a true leader always seeks to help the other person in what he or she is most successful at.

Locking up a leader child within your own desires and needs is like death. He needs a field of action. On the other hand, you always remain a parent, this is a special role, and here, too, you should not lose your leadership. In any case, the child should appreciate your authority and obey you, despite the fact that sometimes he has his own view of things.
Looking for a compromise. Just sit down and, with patience, discuss the problem with the child as an adult with an adult. He should feel not only trust and warmth, but also respect. I wish you SUCCESS and MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING, LOVE each other!

Undoubtedly, most parents dream of their child being a leader, not a follower. How to bring up leadership qualities in a child, and what are the characteristics of leadership - details below.

Leadership in the children's team

Leadership qualities always distinguish a person in a team, but they can also bring certain troubles.

The leader in the team is always visible, especially in children. The kid is the ringleader and instigator of all games. He easily manages to rally everyone. An older child is able to organize a common cause by distributing roles among others, draw up a plan for obtaining a result, and also build self-government. Able to bear responsibility as a leader, has his own opinion, wants to constantly learn.

Leadership is nurtured from childhood

Note! In the team, he is respected, has authority. They listen to him, ask for advice. Adults cite him as an example, as a role model.

What you need to know about the negative consequences of leadership?

Leadership, along with the fact that it has many positive aspects, also contains negative consequences:

A girl or boy can forget about their own desires and interests, because, having got used to everyone's attention, they always try to remain good for everyone. And this is impossible without sacrificing oneself in certain situations. It is necessary to explain to them that you cannot please everyone and you should never forget about yourself.
Leadership is pretty tiring. The constant manifestation of initiative, taking responsibility, organization and active communication with others is very exhausting emotionally. Therefore, it is necessary that the child understands that he needs rest, and knows how to refuse to take on the dominant role every time.
Fear of making a mistake. Leadership imposes a great responsibility on a young person. The child may begin to worry that he will not be able to cope with something, he may do something wrong, that he will be condemned by the class. He is under constant public scrutiny. Parents should explain to him that people tend to make mistakes, and only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

A leader stands out in any team

Leader characteristic

Leader - "leading, paving the way." Psychologists note that children-leaders are characterized by a certain set of character traits.

The main feature is justice, the ability to stand up for another, rally the team

The main personal characteristics of a leader or the character of a leader (description):

Justice. A child with leadership qualities not only does not offend others, but he himself is always ready to come to the defense of the unjustly offended.
The ability to stand up for others. Such a child will not pass by someone else's problem, will not remain silent on the sidelines if someone is innocently punished.
The ability to rally a team. The leader possesses this ability from the very childhood. Even as a toddler, he is able to organize children or adults to participate in an exciting game. Often he will come up with this game himself.

A leader doesn't have to be a dictator

Leader, not dictator

How to raise a leader in a child, from which others will not suffer? A true leader from childhood is distinguished by the fact that he does not command people, does not humiliate them. He is able to motivate people, taking into account their desires. If a child commands family members, throws tantrums until he gets what he wants, manipulates loved ones, then this does not make him a leader.

Responsibility is the basis of leadership

Note! Interestingly, the leader child is distinguished by responsibility for his actions at such an early age.

If he made some decision, but it turned out to be unsuccessful, he will always apologize and admit that he was wrong. He will not blame his parents for not insisting on another option and dissuading him.

How to develop leadership qualities in a child?

It is important to know that it is real to educate leadership qualities in a child, but there are also cases when they are absent at a young age.

Note! In this case, parents should not give up, but should continue to develop these useful life skills.

Leadership Games

The game is the easiest way to recognize if a child has the makings of a leader, since the game is the main activity of children. There is an approximate list of such games, they are simple and they are often played in kindergartens, schools and camps. Their peculiarity is that these are team games, in which a captain is required, who will have to organize the activities of his team, distribute roles between participants, make timely decisions, choose game tactics, and take responsibility for the decisions made.

Leaders are revealed by the game

How not to raise a child

How to grow a leader? If parents want to see a leader in their daughter or son, then they will have to give more independence to their child every year. Doing everything for the child is not at all what is needed to achieve this goal.

Note! It is also impossible to deprive a child of the right to choose, because only by making an independent decision, he learns to bear responsibility.

It will not benefit the development of leadership skills and constant criticism. Constantly hearing condemnation, you don’t want to try to do something new at all. It is necessary to praise for the initiative, to say that he is smart.

The role of physical activity and sports

Physical activity and sports directly influence the development of leadership qualities. The words "faster, higher, stronger" are transferred from the sports field to real life. A child who goes in for sports becomes more physically developed, dexterous, strong, and this, undoubtedly, develops his self-confidence. In addition, the desire to fulfill sports standards makes the child more persistent and purposeful, which is an integral feature of the character of small leaders.

Leadership Development Exercises

How to raise a child to be a leader? The development of leadership in a child is very important. Even if the kid is very timid in life and he will never become a leader, then leadership qualities will be very useful to him in the future. Otherwise, it will be difficult for him to make decisions, take responsibility.

Good exercises for developing such qualities can be the following:

Offer the child to communicate more with adults in different life situations (with the seller in the store, with a neighbor, with a pediatrician in a clinic). Explain why you need to be able to communicate. Feel free to ask questions, write a message. Teach good manners, as education is very important.
Play board games, online games that have winners and losers. Winning, the child will learn to feel the taste of victory, losing, learn to accept defeat with dignity.
Recite poems, sing songs, tell stories. All public speaking is very good at developing self-confidence. If the kid is embarrassed to speak in front of a large number of people, you should start with home performances. Over time, the child will gain experience, his diction will improve, and there will be less excitement.

Communication develops leadership

Tell on the card. This is a very interesting exercise for expanding vocabulary. The future leader is invited to randomly get a card with the image of a person belonging to a certain profession or doing something. He needs to tell about this person, his occupation, to suggest what positive and negative qualities he has. Please note that you must speak in the first person.
Enroll the child in a circle, especially in which there is a group of peers. Any hobby expands the horizons of a person, increases his vocabulary. All this will certainly affect your self-confidence.

When a child is a leader, it is certainly very pleasant. But, if the baby is devoid of leadership qualities, then there is no need to strive with all your might to remake him, to raise him unhappy.

When a child is born, the parents are responsible for caring for him - the daily routine, feeding, bathing, walking, visiting the clinic, the first acquaintance with the outside world. Mothers want their children to gain weight well, suffer less from colic and teething, not catch colds and be active. As time goes by, the nature of caring for a child changes. You begin to teach him letters and numbers, introduce him to fairy tales, music, theater, and send him to early development groups. The development of the moral and spiritual qualities of a person is already beginning to come to the fore.

From a certain age, the upbringing of a child moves to a new plan - parents participate in the development of his personality

Parents who think about the future of their child usually see detailed pictures of what he will work with, what kind of family he will create, what qualities will prevail in his character. To imagine a child weak and irresponsible, running errands for strong and strong-willed peers, is the worst nightmare of any inspired mother, especially when it comes to a boy. How to develop leadership qualities in a child? How to grow a strong-willed, strong, but kind and compassionate person? What mistakes should be avoided so that later your son or daughter does not suffer from their own shyness and passivity?

Let's start with the family

Probably, many parents who are fond of psychology have come across different opinions - whether children become leaders in the process of psychological development or are already born with a programmed set of qualities that determine leadership. Modern psychologists believe that the moral portrait of a person depends 40 percent on genetic predisposition, 60 percent on upbringing. It turns out that the example of parents and psychological development have a greater influence than physiology. Can a leader grow from losers? Most often not. Although there are times when a child, dissatisfied with the conditions of life, constrained and frightened by peers, grows into a tough leader, striving not to repeat the mistakes of his parents and to get what his childhood did not give him.

Usually leaders appear in families where prosperity, love and mutual understanding reign, as well as in parents who themselves have reached certain heights in life and are trying to instill their own leadership qualities in the baby.

Parents with the same qualities are capable of raising a child leader

We speak correctly

Very often, you can hear insulting phrases from parents addressed to the baby, released not because the parents do not love him, but because they are annoyed or tired after work. Parents themselves often program a loser in a child, saying: “How tired I am of you!”, “When will you finally grow wiser?”, “Don’t talk, but do what they say!”. A mother can call a baby who is naughty or unable to cope with something “stupid”, “fool”, “lazy”.

Is your son scared of the dog? Then he is a coward. Did your daughter cry because she dropped a doll in the mud? So, she is a “crybaby” or a “roar-cow”. Thrown with rudeness, dislike, offensive nicknames hurt the child no less than teasing peers in the garden or school, friends in the yard. The main requirement for parents is to watch your own emotions and speech. In your own words, you program the future failures of the child, his passivity, shyness and self-doubt. Praise the child more, say that he will succeed, he just needs to try a little. Instill love for work, respect for talent.

We pay attention

Many parents complain that they do not have enough time to communicate with their child. It is difficult to blame a working mother for this, who needs to have time to partially provide for her family, and clean the house, cook food, and follow how homework is done. In this regard, it is easier when the mother sits at home, and only the father earns money and makes a career. This happens infrequently, especially if the family is incomplete.

It happens that due to their own troubles, parents cannot devote enough time to the child.

Employment is not the reason for the lack of upbringing of a son or daughter and the lack of understanding between the older and younger generations. Talk to your child: let it be a few minutes on the way to school or kindergarten, in the kitchen while you cook soup, or before bed. Discuss your child's problems every day. Find at least 20 minutes to play his favorite game with him, watch a new drawing, listen to a song you like, or watch a cartoon together.

It is important for a kid that you share his interests, praise him, and not just buy fashionable toys, modern mobile phones and tablets. A wonderful tradition is reading with mom before bed. Even if the baby himself has been able to read for a long time, buy periodically interesting books with pictures and read aloud before the child falls asleep. Parental voice, intonation, energy will remain with the baby during the hours of sleep, and he will be closer to you during wakefulness.

Leading or naughty?

Is it always possible for a mother who wants to cultivate leadership qualities in her child to distinguish real leadership from ordinary children's whims and aggression? Of course not. It happens that a mother sighs tenderly and says: “Yes, he is a real leader,” when the son commands a gang of young children, taking all their toys and sweets into his hands. “He's just a leader,” a father justifies his aggressive son on the playground when he takes a toy from a crying toddler. In fact, this is not leadership, but bad manners, childish aggression, dictatorship and whims.

You need to be able to distinguish between the manifestation of leadership qualities and the usual capriciousness

The child just wants to have everything that is within his reach. There is a share of leadership in this, because he shows willpower and suppresses the desires of children, but this is done to the detriment of another person - we can call the phenomenon “pseudo-leadership”.

A leader is a person who enjoys authority in a certain society, whether it is a kindergarten or a school. A leader is never untalented, he knows how and when to show his talents and abilities. Peers respect him not for his dictatorial qualities, but for his willpower, abilities, resourcefulness and ingenuity. Child leaders often manipulate their followers, so they can easily turn into dictators. It is the business of parents to prevent their son or daughter from spoiling their character. His leadership must be balanced in the family and other areas of life, the baby must understand that he is not perfect and has no right to manipulate anyone.

How to educate a leader in a student?

Most often, the question “how to educate leadership in your child?” parents of elementary school students are asked when relations in the team are just being formed, children begin to live like adults, taking responsibility for their actions, being active, learning and discovering their strengths and weaknesses. The teacher plays a big role in this.

Give your little one the opportunity to be active. It is good if the teacher devotes hours of teaching not only to capital letters and mathematics, but also to getting to know the children, drawing on free topics. To give the child the opportunity to talk about his talent or try to find it is the task of the elementary school teacher.

It happens that the teacher does not even know that the child freely reads books in whole chapters or sculpts unique figures from plasticine, sings well or knows how to cook pancakes.

Parents and the school need to try to identify the unique talent of the child, direct their efforts to its development

Leadership Development Tips:

Teach your child to set clear goals and develop a plan. In this, the main assistant is mom or dad. This will help the baby become purposeful and develop willpower.
Develop the moral side of the little man. Show mercy and kindness yourself, instill in your child the concept that this is the norm of life. Loving animals and helping those in need, doing charity work, sharing toys and sweets is normal.
Pay attention to the spiritual. Take your child to the theater and exhibitions, develop his talents. Religious education, although in the present years the society is significantly secularized, is not superfluous.
Teach your child to take responsibility for themselves, not to lie and not to shift the blame on others. The main trait of a leader is willpower and mental strength.

You can also determine the leadership of the baby during the game. Psychological game "Adaptation":

Divide several people into two teams. A school class can play, just a group of friends. One team will receive red tokens - these will be those who give orders. The other will receive yellow tokens - those who will carry out orders.
The team with red tokens is determined after the warm-up. Task - the child must introduce his neighbor on the right to those around him, after talking with him for a couple of minutes. Bright personalities are endowed with red tokens. The rest get yellow.
A microgroup is formed around each leader. The task is to draw a friendly cartoon, the idea is given by the leader, the owners of yellow tokens draw it.
Finished cartoons should fall into different groups. The task is to come up with a funny caption under the picture.
The task of "three D": "for each other." Microgroups give each other tasks.
The final task, one for all groups from the leader of the game.

Psychological games improve team relationships and help identify leaders

Speed game "Start!":

First task. A group of children should shout the word “Start!” in an organized and quick manner. Which group completes the task faster and more harmoniously - that one won. In execution, the most active child is found.
Second task. Starting position - children sit on chairs or on the ground. A group of children should quickly get up on the command “Start!”.
The third task is "Flight to Mars". In the group, you need to distribute the roles of the captain, navigator, mechanic, passengers and "hare".
The fourth task. Crews flew to Mars. We need to distribute ourselves in the Martian hotels. Rooms in hotels of different capacity - from triple to single. The child who finds himself in the process of playing in a single room is either a leader or an outcast.

mini games

Family photography game

the guys should position themselves in such a way as if they are preparing for a family photo;
a "photographer" is chosen - a leader who will seat everyone, assign the roles of "grandfather", "grandmother", "mother", "dad", etc.

Models for a family photo must obey the “photographer”-leader

Birthday game:

It is proposed to a group of kids to write on a piece of paper who everyone would invite to their birthday party, and no more than 3 people.
A few people who turn out to be the most popular of the invitees become "birthday boys".
"Birthdays" invite all the guys to visit. The children, in turn, choose who they want to visit.

Helping your child become a leader

How to help your child develop early leadership qualities:

Entrust your child to carry his own toy, water bottle or purse during the walk;
go to the playground - invite the baby to remember the way himself;
if there are unfamiliar children on the site, invite your child to come up and get to know each other, not forgetting the norms of politeness;
talk to the baby like an adult, use fewer diminutives, call everything clearly;
often ask your child: “What do you think?”, consult with him;
do not laugh at children's desires and naive questions of the baby.

It is important for the parent to sometimes consult with the child and listen to his opinion.

The main thing is to grow a harmonious personality, teach a child to respect others and show their best qualities. Develop the innate talents of a person, you should not take a naturally excellent artist to a music school, and a vocalist to choreography lessons. Sincerely trust your child, love him, observe measure and reasonableness in everything, help him become what he wants.

Every day, by our behavior, we lay in children certain beliefs and attitudes towards life. Unfortunately, few parents are so conscious as to proceed from a long-term perspective in their upbringing. Basically, adults are limited to “operational management” and solving current problems: help with homework, go to a parent meeting, dress, feed, entertain. Short-term bursts of "good pedagogical intentions" quickly fade, colliding with the daily flow of routine affairs.

At the same time, any mother dreams of seeing her child as a successful, realized, sought-after person who has found his place in life, gets along well with people, loves his job and is happy in every possible way. And this is quite real - but only if you regularly make efforts in this direction.

The abundance of all kinds of information on the topic of parenting usually disorientates parents, and many of them are lost, not knowing where to start. And they don't start. What is better to invest time in, what to pay special attention to, so that the picture of a wonderful future does not remain an empty parental fantasy? I would recommend first of all to develop leadership qualities in children. They are the most important for success in life.

Many people still think that true leadership is something innate. In fact, genetic inclinations are not so important. Much more important are the environment and the competent participation of adults in the process of personality formation. Leadership is a certain stereotype of thinking and behavior that every parent, even a parent who is far from leadership in his work, can teach his child.

The foundation for leadership is adequate self-esteem, independence, the ability to manage emotions, the ability to evaluate one's actions from a long-term perspective, security and independence, and high stress resistance. All these qualities can and should be developed. And only on such a solid base does it already make sense to layer traditional "leadership" skills - public speaking, the ability to negotiate and manage other people.

Ideally, it would be good to organize in the family such a scheme of upbringing and relationships, in which the child regularly pumps and strengthens the necessary character traits and ways of thinking. It's not as difficult as it seems. Let's look at the main components of such a scheme.

First of all, you need to give the child a sense of security and the understanding that you are on his side, no matter what happens. You can not betray your child, agreeing with other people's assessments, criticism, discontent. For example, if a teacher at a meeting tells you how terrible your son is, this does not mean that she is right. Most likely, it is uncomfortable for her personally. There is nothing terrible in this - successful people are always uncomfortable. In adult life, they are inconvenient because they claim a better place, more resources, more favorable conditions. And convenient people achieve nothing. So parents need to initially abandon the idea that their child should be obedient and approved by everyone.

In parallel with the creation of an atmosphere of security, it is necessary to form an adequate self-esteem in the child. Adequate - this means reflecting the real picture at the moment. Popular psychologists simplistically divide self-esteem into low and high. This is the wrong approach, which leads to a dead end. In fact, it is possible to give an assessment only on some individual parameters. In general, it is impossible to evaluate a person, it will not be true, but a subjective label. It is necessary to teach the child to evaluate separately appearance, personal qualities, the level of various knowledge and skills. It is convenient to use a 10-point scale. Then the girl, for example, stops thinking that she is "ugly." Because, for example, her ears are protruding, yes, - and here she conditionally has 2 points out of 10. But her hair - 10 points, eyebrows and eyelashes - 10 points, skin - 6 points, nails - 8 points, etc. That is, it is far from all “terrible”, but only in two or three parameters out of 30–50. The main advantage of such an assessment system is that all parameters with low scores can be changed! Make a plan and, if not immediately, but come to the desired values. For example, ears can be closed with a successful haircut, nails can be “perfected” with a manicure, skin can be improved with proper nutrition and laser procedures. That is, there is no need for this ineffective multi-year auto-training in the spirit of "I am the most charming and attractive." You can take clear concrete actions and quickly get the desired result and a natural increase in self-esteem.

In addition to adequate self-esteem, the future leader will need autonomy and independence. Everything is simple here: stop doing for the child what he is able to do for himself. Every little thing matters here, so you don’t need to “pity the baby” and take on the functions of servants. The task of parents is not to rush around with a bunch of straws for life, laying it where it is necessary and not necessary. On the contrary, responsible parents are the first coaches to prepare a child for an independent adult life. And their behavior and mood largely determine how confident the child will feel without anyone's help and support. True self-confidence is easily read by others and causes an appropriate attitude.

Another important skill that must be instilled is the ability to manage your emotions and live them correctly. When we suppress our emotions, they are stored in the body in the form of unconscious tensions, bodily blocks. And part of our strength, which could be directed to achievements, is constantly spent on maintaining these blocks. In fact, every day we merge our energy into old grievances, into the usual feeling of guilt, into powerless aggression, which we habitually suppress. This is a typical situation for adults, and we also immerse our children in this typical situation. The solution here is to increase your emotional awareness and teach this to your children. This skill is necessary not only for the development of a leadership position, but also for maintaining health. I teach how to competently work with suppressed emotions, bring them out of the body and return my inner strength on the course "How to make a child a leader".

The next valuable quality is empathy, the ability to empathize. A person who does not understand and does not feel the condition of other people will not be able to lead anyone. To develop empathy, you need to regularly offer to evaluate some situation, not only from your side, but also from the rest of its participants. This can be done both with examples from life, and with joint viewing of films and cartoons. The habit of putting yourself in the place of another and seeing the whole situation as a whole as if from the outside is a global management skill that will come in handy more than once in adulthood.

It is very important to develop stress resistance in a child. A real leader in difficult situations does not run into emotions and does exactly what will help to effectively solve the problem that has arisen. But this skill is not formed immediately. The child must first be taught the correct role models in practice, so that when a problem arises, he already has the necessary behavior pattern. You can analyze in advance with the child all possible critical situations and work out behavioral reactions to them in role-playing games. This will help a lot in the future, when stupid friends begin to persuade a teenager to illegal actions, to use drugs, smoke, etc. In addition, such skills are very useful in dealing with toxic adults who, in the post-Soviet space, have a habit of criticizing and teaching without asking. For example, since childhood, I have trained my children in response to the ridiculous claims of passing aunts to calmly look into their eyes and say the phrase: “My mother teaches me that not every value judgment should serve as a behavior modifier.” And my daughters left a lot of idle "advisers" with their mouths gaping in surprise with the help of such a convenient statement. If, on the one hand, the child knows that in any situation the parents are behind him, and on the other hand, he has effective ways to respond to difficult moments, his self-confidence increases significantly.

In addition to all of the above, you need to teach the child to evaluate the consequences of their actions from a long-term perspective. And do not be afraid of mistakes and criticism. Know how to take credit for your accomplishments. Perceive a difficult situation not as a problem, but as a task. Minimize fuss and choose only those actions that lead to the achievement of the goal.

All these qualities and skills will be a reliable, solid foundation for leadership and the ability to manage people.

In teenagers, interest and respect can be won the fastest, standing out with some unusual knowledge and skills. The task of parents is to develop in the child all the inner qualities necessary for a leader and to ensure intellectual and skillful superiority among peers. It is necessary to teach the child at a good level some cool skill or popular sport that will distinguish him from other children. And also get your child interested in knowledge that is not taught in school, such as economics, marine biology, application development, etc. Only after that it makes sense to master the purely technical aspects of leadership: public speaking, the ability to negotiate, manage a team, delegate, manipulate, etc.

If you are seriously interested in the topic of leadership and you intend to give your child a strong start for a successful future, I recommend studying my course "How to make a child a leader". There you will find all the necessary detailed instructions, recommendations and exercises that will help you quickly achieve noticeable results.

The birth of a baby is a true miracle that gives a loving family the opportunity to raise a worthy replacement for themselves and give the world a noble personality. Bearing, feeding and teaching a child are only the “technical” aspects of this process. It is extremely important to become a good mother for him, to help develop the best qualities, to direct him in the right direction.

Psychology in the education of leaders

Do you and your spouse adore your child, and have you seriously decided to raise a successful businessman, politician, athlete or artist out of him?

Do you want your little one to be a high-ranking, authority figure as an adult? Then you will need valuable tips on how to teach your child to be a leader.

First of all, we want to emphasize that raising a child leader means giving him confidence that he is loved at home, teaching him to be independent and charismatic, open in communication, persistent, purposeful and courageous.

First of all, you should be guided, why do you need to grow a real master from your child? If his innate mentality is strong, and a bright personality is noted from the earliest years, leadership qualities will certainly appear later and without outside help. If, by nature, the baby is weak, withdrawn, dreamy and vulnerable, is it worth it to “break” his nature, rebuilding it to fit his own interests?

It should be understood that from such a “raw” option it will be possible to grow only artificial authority. In addition, nature never errs in endowing the personality with a certain inner psychology. If your child is quiet, shy and timid, he should not become a "ringleader". And this does not matter at all - perhaps his personal nature will be revealed much more fruitfully.

When wondering how to raise a real leader from a child, we strongly recommend that you analyze the need for this action. By overdoing it, you run the risk of making him a cynic, a despot, or a narcissist with a sick self-esteem, especially if he does not naturally strive for gaining power and recognition.

We decided to give a few key tips from psychologists on how to raise a child to be a real leader:

Whatever your baby’s nature may be, you need to love him, and love him unconditionally, without any “buts”;
Never talk to a child about how bad, ignorant, weak he is. If he has committed a serious offense, tell him: “You are a very good person, but this time you did something bad. This is very unexpected for us”;
Encourage your child in all his undertakings, even if they seem stupid, frivolous and frivolous to you? Do you want to grow a pilot or captain out of a boy, and he dreams of becoming an artist? Encourage him in this endeavor!;
Your baby sees in you the main authority and the main critic. If you constantly hint to him how stupid he is, in the end you will certainly get a person with low self-esteem and mental disorders;
Be sure to teach him that everything works out, but not immediately. " Perseverance and work will grind everything!" - this setting should become key in your dialogues with the child;
Do not overprotect the baby and protect him from all life's adversities. Sometimes it is worth letting him overcome obstacles on his own, and even take a chance. Difficulties temper the strength of the spirit, bring up fearlessness, teach that not everything in life goes smoothly;
If your child wants to attend circles and sections, be sure to encourage such aspirations. Healthy competition will bring up the necessary traits in the baby, and if he feels powerful support from his parents, his faith in his own victories will increase threefold;
When wondering how to help your child become a brilliant leader, remember the meaning of this word. The leader is not the one who takes brazenly, "impudently", goes over the heads, is famous for rudeness and authoritarianism. A leader is a sociable, benevolent and strong person who is able to attract a crowd that will willingly follow his instructions.

Practical Techniques

How can a child be made a leader in practice?

Consider the advice of child psychologists:

How to recognize potential leadership inclinations in a child?

If you notice that at home your baby shows his authority, and even tries to become the main one, and prefers to remain silent in the society of his peers, you should know that the makings of a leader here are only indirect, and rather the tactics of the baby in communicating with you play a key role.

Perhaps the child is used to manipulating you, and you mistake it for leadership. If your child is the leader in his kindergarten, behaving like a real authority, you are on the right track.

By what inclinations can you find a leader in a child?

What to do if your child is a leader? First of all, find him a job that will captivate and interest him. Give him the opportunity to be realized in the chosen path.

And most importantly - focus on the value of your child's guidelines, on the moral aspect of his upbringing, on his idea of morality. A strong, independent and promising personality is growing up in you, capable of leading those around you. And it is extremely important where exactly.